My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 561: Bless My Farts

Episode Date: May 24, 2021

We all knew it was coming. Criss Angel, tired of escaping from boxes and chains, has broken free of the confines of Munch Squad with his new Nevada restaurant. One hundred years of crafting couldn't have come up with a better name. So, that’s it. We’ve got to concede naming restaurants for the foreseeable future.Suggested talking points: Ja New Answers, Dr Harold Styley, Gently Used Wings, Tummy Freak, Where’s the WeckSupport AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate Support the AAPI Civic Engagement Fund: https://aapifund.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? You're a precious friendship. I could've never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels love.

It's better, it's better with you. My life, it's better, it's better with you. My life, it's better with you. My life, it's better with you. Hello everybody and welcome to my brother, my brother and me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middleest brother, big dog, woof woof, Travis, woof woof woof McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy.

And I can question for you guys, is this your card? Oh, wow, it is. It is, yes. The Joker. But that's a weird, that's a place card. Yeah, yeah, this is, yes, you're right, Travis. I've created these place cards to reserve our spot at a new restaurant being opened by none other than Mr. Mindfreak himself, Chris Angel. Huh.

And it just, I didn't even want to save it for Munch Squad. It's too good for Munch Squad. And I feel like trying to put Chris Angel, who is so much a part of the tapestry of this program, into Munch Squad is like, it's kind of selfish. It's like trying to trap him in anything. Really? That's exactly right. Put him in anything. Lock him into Munch Squad, lock him into a glass coffin, he will get out.

Right. Now let me ask you this, Justin. I know nothing about this prior to this moment. Are you kidding? No, I'm not kidding. Is it called? Is it called tummy freak? No.

Oh, no. Shit, that would be good. It's got a great name. Every bit of this story is the best. Can I just say real quick, my favorite fact about Chris Angel? As far as I know, only professional living magician to be featured prominently on an episode of CSI, CSI Las Vegas. Go on. Okay.

But not as himself. My friend Dwight Slapy, you know him. He's a star of things about his sheets and of course, taste of luxury. He often talks about the Phil Collins flip, where he started listening to, or sorry, the Billy Joel flip. Where he started listening to Billy Joel, ironically. And then oops, Daisy. Yeah. He was like deeply in, right?

Right. And I feel like that happened with Guy Fieri, where I'm just like, on board. I love, I love the brand. And I feel like I'm dipping into that with Chris Angel after reading this latest thing. We're like, I'm just happy he's here. You know what I mean? I'm just happy he's around. Tell me what the name of the restaurant is.

I feel like that's the last thing you learn. Oh boy. Okay. Okay. It's, it's, it's so, it's, it's the best. We could sit here, Travis, and for the next one hour, come up with names for restaurants opened by Chris Angel in rural Nevada. And we would, the best we would achieve would be, I would say maximum 15% as good as the

name that Mr. Angel has selected for ourselves. Susan Stapleton over at Eater has got the, the story that I'm referring to here. So thank you, Susan, for your pioneering work. Chris Angel, the mind freak magician with a show at Planet Hollywood Resort is going into the restaurant business. He bought a restaurant called Sugar's Home Plate, some 65 miles northeast from Las Vegas and Overton, Nevada. So a real destination restaurant.

Yes. Now he's got, is a, is actually a, a sweet story. Apparently he's out in that neighborhood with his seven year old son, Johnny Christopher, uh, who was, who was diagnosed with leukemia and part of like the, I guess the, the, you know, way they got away from it all was dirt biking. So they're out there in Overton, um, and they spot this restaurant. Right. This, uh, Sugar's, Sugar's Home Plate.

You say magic, magic papa. What was that restaurant we just ramped over? And he said, I don't know. Let's pull up. It got out, loved, loved the location. Let's ramp through the picture window in the front. I did mention that Chris, uh, Angel, C-R-I-S-S, Angel, uh, his son is named Johnny Christopher C-R-I-S-S-T-O-P-H-E-R.

Okay. Okay, juice. Live that brand. Right. Live that brand. I love this man cause he lives that brand. But you can, we, you can acknowledge the fact that if he named his son Christopher at all with a different Christopher spelling.

It would be weird. It would be weird. It would be weird. So now Griffin, some may argue that he picked the name Christopher so he didn't open that door. That's true. That's true. Himself.

But anyway, I, I think I, all credit to that young man that is going to be a unique life. And I can't wait for Johnny Christopher to live it. Right. Cause that's going to be, uh, quite a journey. But it's sort of a dirt biking, right? Yeah. And Chris says, you know, in, uh, we get to say an experience we can all relate to, right? Yes.

Out there dirt biking with our magic daddy in rural Nevada. So, yeah, we've all been there. And it's like Chris says, the more time we spent there, uh, the more he's sort of, the more you got to know the town and the people he just fell in love with this area. Yeah. So he's nice. It's nice. I mean, it's nice.

He's opening a camp for, for kids also going over with pediatric cancer and their families and they're doing all kinds of stuff out there. Chris Angel, heart of, heart of gold, I guess. Chris Angel. And he's like, I'm doing this, this cool thing. And we'll talk about that. I think Griffin, you're referring to, we are sort of back into this, but I'm into it. Angel is planning to build, um, Chris Angel's escape camp adventures, which is another fucking

great name for a place of 14 acres in this, in the same region. Hey, Derek, where, where are you heading this Saturday? Oh, me? I'm going to Chris Angel's escape camp adventures. Yes. No way. Can you escape the camp? I don't know.

That's my favorite. That's my favorite goosebumps. Choose your own adventure book. So let's talk, but so he's like, you know what, I'm going to have a fucking restaurant here. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. So he opens, he's made this announcement.

They're going to reopen the restaurant in July with diet and service, a walk up window and take out. They're going to have, so it's a partnership, uh, his brother, uh, Costa San, Saran, Tacos, and a pizza maker named Mike Baram, are they're going to convert the restaurant into a fast, casual oops, almost said it, uh, and it's, uh, so that he's got some experienced people on board and, uh, they're going to have, um, breakfast, which includes, uh, they got bells and waffles, French toast, pancakes, omelettes and breakfast. Yummy.

For lunch, did you stay, you stayed seated, you were so full and satisfied. You stayed in your bed and now we're doing lunch for lunch. We got you a nice, uh, Mopa chicken fried steak, chicken Parmesan. You think they do a turkey club? I like a turkey crowd. Oh, definitely. Definitely. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Burgers, sandwiches, calzones, wraps, salads and pizzas. Pretty standard stuff. I was excited. A little weirder. Well, there's, there's a cocktail. That's fun. That's a cocktail named the mind freeze.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. It conco, it says here an eater concocted with vodka and one of more than 100 flavors of Italian ice. Wow. How is that?

That's the, that's the anchor for this whole experience. I cannot believe it. It's not called mind freeze. Right. The ambition of a hundred different flavor and that's not even the point of the restaurant. No. Right. Ancillary at best.

There had been a snow cone place called mind freeze that was just like, here's what we got at my place, a hundred different flavors of snow cone and also vodka. Let's go. I would make, I would make a pilgrimage to get to mind freeze. Do you think he's working the counter at mind freeze? Uh, I mean, he's going to be working the, the counter at this place, which is Travis. It is called. Well, wait, just to refresh, just to refresh you, Travis.

Uh-huh. This is Chris Angel's restaurant. Right. Where they have breakfast and they have lunch and they have pizza. So this is Chris Angel's breakfast, lunch and pizza. What? The, no, sorry, the, the name of the restaurant is Ka-blip. Oh.

Short for, it's C-A-B-L-P Chris Angel's breakfast, lunch and pizza Ka-blip. Yeah. Yeah. Ka-blip's the name of it. The branding. I love it. The name of it's Ka-blip. The name of it is Ka-blip.

Not since 90s Nickelodeon's Ka-blam. No. Has there been a name? I've been so on board. And also like us, like we would have thought about it for an hour and eventually just come up with mind eats. Yeah. And, and it wouldn't have been.

I'm still going tummy freak, but go on. Tummy freak is also. Tummy freak is fine. Mind eats is good. Uh, but no, he just went ahead and called it Ka-blip and it's going to be open in July, which is amazing. That's why he's Chris Angel and we're just us. Yeah.

We're just living. Yeah. Uh, Chris, as always, like I would fucking love if you want to come on the show and talk about, you know, the show, mind freak is going to reopen July 7th, the restaurant's open in July. If you want to come on, you know, get at me, bud, talk about your time on CSI Las Vegas. Yeah. Anything you want to do.

I'm, I'm so, I would be so excited to welcome you onto the show. Um, thank you. You could do some audio magic tricks. Yeah. Audio magic. Uh, so anyway, that's the deal with, um, yeah. That's the deal with that. Very exciting.

I'm very excited about that. I bet it's good. Yeah. Of course it'll be good. This is the thing. There's actually an aspect of it where if the only kind of Chris Angel tie-in is the mind freeze, and of course the, the Ka of Ka-blip, but it does feel like he went like, no, this isn't a gimmick.

This is my new thing. Right. I was sent that story by so many people and every single one of the people had some variation of this message, I know for a fact 100% that you have been sent this a dozen times, but I can't risk you not seeing it. So here it is again. So thank you to everybody that sit along Ka-blip. Now, when we talk about support coming in a lot of different ways, this is what we

mean. Thank you. Thank you. Can we, the name's so funny, Ka-blip. First of all, there's no I in there, so they can try and say Ka-blip, but it is Ka-blip, and there's no way around that. But even, okay, let's take apart, let's just ignore the, the abbreviation that they've chosen arbitrarily.

The name Chris Angel's breakfast, lunch, and pizza is such a wild choice, Chris Stiffer. Well, because otherwise it would have been breakfast, lunch, dinner, then it would have been Ka-blad. Do they close at two? Is it, or is it, do you, can you eat dinner there? No, but if you're there at four, they flip open a separate side. They, they have a full lunch menu at four o'clock.

It disappears and just the word pizza appears. This is what you can have now. Now you can have pizza. Yeah, perfect. Come on. If pizza was included in lunch, they wouldn't call it Chris Angel's breakfast, lunch, and pizza. They would just call it Chris Angel's breakfast and lunch, right?

So pizza denotes some sort of other meal, not necessarily dinner, though, because it does seem to imply like we have this varied menu for breakfast. Right. There's varied menu for lunch. A hundred and ten pieces. Then I hope you like pizza. Yeah. And if you show up Sundays, 11, 14 to 223, you can get the pizza brunch, which is

kind of walks all the different worlds because they got like eggs on it. Don't tell my brother, though, because I have not gotten him to sign off on that and he will be so pissed off. Yeah. This is an advice show, obviously. And we're going to, yeah, obviously, and we're going to help. We're going to help people. I'm looking for a place that serves breakfast, lunch, and pizza.

Oh, fuck, we can answer this one. Oh, we can do this one. No magicians, though. Fuck, if you walk in the door later in the day, he's going to grab you by your lapel and say, how many meals have you eaten today? Because if you say, too, you're not eating here, we don't have dinner. I keep telling people that. If you've already had your lunch, you could go.

My husband and I were finally able to secure patio furniture after manufacturing shortages last year made it impossible. I'm really excited to have a change of scenery for my WFH day. We're from home. Thank you. Yes. Sorry, that has been my reality for every decade. I got it now. We're from home days while the weather is still nice, but I'm running

against a new etiquette dilemma. Our porch is on the front of the house. And I can hear a neighbor that I'm friendly with next door working on his lawn. He can't see me, but I can hear him sneezing frequently due to yard work. I don't want to be weird and possibly startling by yelling bless you from where he can't see me. But it seems like it'd be awkward to stand up, make myself known and then say it more both in the middle of projects.

I know the most logical thing is just to say nothing. But then I feel like I'm disappointing my mom by being rude. How would you handle this? That's from allergy, awkwardness and Boston. That last part, the feeling of being rude. I think I think that's universal right there. Sure. If I hear someone sneeze one, it's pretty much automatic. But bless you, you know, some like.

I'm so tight. Oh, why did I say that? Yeah, because you're tight. Yeah. Why are we still doing that, though? The demons. No, no, jokes. The jokes out of the room just for just for like two seconds. Yeah, let's send jokes out there for a second. Why are we still saying? Why are we still blessing? Right? Why are we still blessing people?

You don't need to do any of like the only thing you're saying is like, I know you sneeze and I don't want you to die. Yeah, the person I think you're worth acknowledging and you also sneeze. I know that what you guys are saying is true. But the idea that I just pictured someone sneeze, like I'm talking to someone that sneezes with their elbow because you got to sleeve it. Right. And I just look at them. Yeah. And I say, no, they're all I'm nothing.

What could you say? What could you say? OK, let me ask you this. What could you say that would impart the same sentiment? And this doesn't help this question. I said, but like, would you? Yeah, I mean, you're like, I know she sneezed. It's there's there's a because you sneeze and you didn't fucking blow. OK, sneezing is weird because for a second, you're not the boss.

Right. When you sneeze, you're just rolling the dice that everything kind of stays on. What they're saying is like, hey, I know you let yourself like you lost control for a second there. I know you you, Mr. Highted out for a moment. Yeah. Like you lost control for a second, but I want to congratulate you. You rained it back in and you are running this ship again. And I'm so proud of that.

You didn't blow your ass off. You didn't try to hold it in a weird way. The major eyeballs pop out. You are good. You did a good job. You're back in control. Welcome back. Here's a fun thing that you could do at home. If you're ever talking to a new person, right? And you sneeze, get make a really scared look and go, what was that?

And act like it's the first time you've ever sneezed in your entire life. That's fun. That's got that's got big third rock from the sun energy. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, it's very. Oh, Beezbo. I just I just feel like it doesn't do anything for I sneeze. First of all, y'all can say whatever you want. A sneeze feels good. I like I like especially when you're chasing it.

When my when oh when you're chasing that sneeze and you get one after a long day of working at getting that noise and then you feel good from it. And like I like letting Jesus take the wheel for like a fraction of a second. And then when you say bless you, there's an element of that. I'm picking up subtext and I've also laid this subtext down of I forgive you for the loud noise you just made. That's fine. It's fine. It's OK that you just made that loud noise with your with the wind inside of you.

It's interesting, though, because if you compare it to a burp, right, the burp or is expected to say, excuse me, it's but when you sneeze, it becomes an outward problem for everyone around you to acknowledge. It's just wind, isn't it? It's just wind. How come when the wind comes from our bellies, we have to fucking you know, prostrate ourselves and beg forgiveness. But when wind comes from our nose, like we look around like

where the fuck were you guys on that one? The wind comes from the belly and it's all of a sudden you are an outcast. You are. You don't do that here, but you sneeze and it goes up your mouth and your nose, then it's like then it's my problem. That doesn't make any sense all of a sudden. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me. Bless my farts. Let's just switch it for one year for one year.

Let's switch it. And when you sneeze, you have to. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. That's embarrassing. And when you do rip, then you look around like anyone, anyone going to cover me on that one. No, OK, it's so rude. If you think about farts, it is weird, like how did air get in the mix?

You know what I mean? Yeah, I didn't. There was an air on my, you know, hamburger. You don't put air on your hamburger. I don't think so. It's just weird. It's just weird. Is it because, OK, and let's keep breaking this down,

because I'm frankly, boys, I'm having a lot of fun in this space right now. OK, if the sneeze had a bad odor. If a sneeze smelled like a fart. Well, no, I don't even want to go that specific. But if the sneeze had a bad odor, then would the onus be back on the sneezer to beg forgiveness? There is badness in a sneeze. It's not like you sneeze and you're like, oh, thank you.

Especially in these in these unprecedented times. That's a good point. I think that I think that when you sneeze, you should have to say like, oh, no, not again, something that acknowledges a weakness in the body, right? Because that's the thing is when you. OK, when you fart, this is our weakness, leaving the body. This is what I'm saying. When you fart or burp, incredibly natural, it happens every time a sneeze

indicates something has gone wrong. Yes. Your body's like, listen, we have an intruder. And I only know one way to deal. Right. This is what I'm saying. So in many ways, a fart and a burp is your body going, hey, thanks for that food to sustain me. Yeah. And a sneeze is like, you put some bad in here. Well, do you feel like with a sneeze, the bot like there's a discussion

and Osmosis Jones style discussion in the body where it's like, listen, I don't know. I don't know if this merits it. Like, we're really not supposed to do this a lot because it does trip them out pretty bad and not be in control. But I think we do have to blow this out of here. Also, Travis, and no, I'm not going to like throw any stones or anything. But I don't think that you are the best evaluator of what is a normal amount of wind to leave your digestive system.

OK, let's see. Oh, but Griffin, you're making my point for me. I have Gert right here. Yeah, makes me burp slightly more. Did you call him Gert? I've heard about this Gert every time I've eaten within a mile of Travis. I got better cover my mouth. I think he said now I don't. Gert, I got yogurt. I love that stuff.

If I don't cover my mouth now, my four year old looks at me and goes, excuse you. And it's very it cuts to the quick of me. It's weird that it took that. Yeah, any who. What I'm saying is I have a condition and it makes me burp, right? Right. You sneeze. Well, you could have a sneezing condition. There's so many sneezing conditions.

You don't actually have a point. I don't. It's like an anti point. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Let's just ignore the sounds are here are the sounds you're allowed to comment on that my body makes words, end of list, words, laughter. Hmm. Mones. What about what about a loud like a loud like, like a gasp? Yeah. What's scared because that's a that's a fight or flight thing.

Oh, no, Griffin, what has scared you and will it scare me? I need to know. Is there a bear around? Yeah, is there is. Is there are you being attacked? You need to know that information. But if I do a regular win, it's hard. I think we should just ignore all body sounds. Ignore sneezes, ignore farts, ignore when people jizz and they say Aruga. Yeah, all those, all those when they jizz in their head turns

into a big green wolf head, it goes, Aruga in the mouth. Gets really, it comes out their ears. Don't even fucking. And when the shoes squeak, we get it. Got a little bit of a fart a little bit sometimes. All right. Yeah. Calm down. When you piss in your pants, because it feels good in your position theodore Cruz, then you can just look at him and nod. OK.

Now, the one I would argue that the one body sound we can all ignore is when your tummy gurgles a little bit, because it's hungry. And you can be like, oh, sorry, I'm just a little hungry. Right. I think that one's still OK, right? That's cute. That's cute. I love that. Yeah, that's fine. I saw an unofficial piece of merch floating around out there that said that Ted Cruz likes to pee in his pants

because he likes the warm feeling between his legs. And I was pleased at first, but also incensed because, you know, that's that I would love you're happy. I would let my that Ted Cruz is my happy. But so. Granted Ted Cruz, I'm sorry, everybody. He's a real stinker, it turns out. But I was wondering, like, we can't make that shirt because we'll be it seems very litigious.

I mean, even even saying the words out loud on this show, it does seem somewhat libelous, although this is a comedy show and that's fair use, whatever. But I was wondering if we could make a shirt that says. I think they originally said it on Dear Mythical Morning and we're just quoting them. So oh, really? Good Mythical Morning. No. Oh, OK, I didn't know.

But I'm trying to throw some of the blame. Right. Throw it around. Yeah, I heard. I heard. They can handle it. Yeah, Red Link can take this. Good Mythical Morning said it, not us. But if we made a shirt that said Ted Cruz and it was a B instead of a D and then.

But the rest of the words were normal and we put it in quotes and attributed it to Good Mythical Morning. I think Good Mythical Morning. So you're saying the shirt would read, thusly, Ted Cruz likes to be in France because he loves the warm up feeling between his legs. Sincerely, Rhett and Link of the popular YouTube series, Good Mythical Morning. Yes.

Yeah. And all the funny. And we would sell it and keep. But we would get the money. But we would sell it. Not them and not Redbubble, not whatever. Would it help if we spelled it C-R-O-O-Z? No, I don't like that. What if we took all the what if we took instead of giving the

money to charity as we so we too often do, in my opinion, we got to start funneling that a little more specifically this time into a legal defense fund for Red Link to protect them from the lawsuits of Ted Cruz. Yeah. Ted Cruz. Hey, do you guys want a question from the Internet? I feel like I don't have a name for this segment, but I've gotten so many different people sending me

replacements for Yahoo Answers when really I don't think one platform is going to cover it. There will never be another Yahoo Answers unless they bring Yahoo Answers back. There will never be one one size fits all solution. But there's a lot of places where people can ask silly questions on the web. And when you're surfing it and find and see them,

I think it can be fun to dive in. Yeah. Okay. Go for it. And I'll workshop a name. You have questions. Web shins. Web shins. Yaw new Answers. Some I will get there.

Yaw new Answers. Yaw. I might just say, do you want a Yahoo? But it's not capitalized. So this is like more like this guy's are really Yahoo. That kind of deal. I'm going to say Yahoo. Some in old movies.

I say that. Say Yahoo? I'm trying to protect us from Yahoo's lawyers. Okay. Or somebody's lawyers. Okay. Apollo management group's lawyers, I think at this point. Steven sent this one in and it's on Quora again,

but there's no long-winded scientific explanation. I don't know where to find who asked it because I don't know how to use this website yet. But the question is, using the five senses, how would you describe your grandmother? Oh, boy. The fact that they wanted all five makes me think that this person didn't necessarily consider

the question fully before they put it on Quora or Quora. I think Sight would pretty much cover it. Yeah, Sight. Well, now you can, what's the smell of your grandmother? Everybody has. This is what I'm saying, Justin, is if I need information about your grandmother, my needs, my needs, Travis's needs are met by Sight.

I don't need to. We're olfactory creatures. Like for me, for us, mom's mom, Granny, I really associate the scent of her making like the best biscuits and gravy and bacon while smoking. While smoking. Just like a, I know this is going to be good, but we're in a challenging environment for this meal.

A rich aroma. There is, I will say, an aspect of going over to their house. They're being a bowl of chocolates on the table and eating them because I'm seven and I love chocolates. But also, they do taste like a cigarette, but. Cigarette chocolates. Yeah, there's that. That's a taste.

Is that a taste of your grandmother? I think that's as far as I want to go on what my grandmother tastes like. Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be like, hey, non-ster, lean over here. Let me lick that face. Yeah, nobody should be like, let me get in there. Don't lick Nonny's face.

It's 2021. And it's like, I know that Fauci's like all about it now. And he's like, go nuts. It sucks how Fauci's like, everybody get out there and lick your grandma's. Yeah. And it's like Fauci didn't even give me a chance to like put my pants back on.

And like they were off while I kicked it at home for a year. And then he's like, all right, wake up, idiot. Go lick your grandma. And it's like, did we, I guess. See, this is what was awesome about when Bath & Body Works was like such a big name in the Christmas present game. Is Bath & Body Works even still, is this sort of a shop?

Huge, they're expanding at the Honey Tommel. They're taking over like a gigantic wing. Yeah. Just all for them. See, when I think of the Nonny's smell, I go straight to vanilla bean because we would go to Bath & Body Works and be like, give me all of the products

that smell like this, please. This is my grandmother's scent. And you would fucking, you would just know it. You would just kind of know it. Now, here's the thing. You can answer about feel is like, oh, warm hug. That's a nice, oh, I feel safe. But I have this deep suspicion

that this question asked her would go, no, no, no. What does she feel like? And I'm not wild about that. No. Yeah, there's a lot of senses that... Oh, shit. Oh, Justin just threw up. Oh, juice, you all right, bud?

Ah, fuck. Bless you. Go without me. Oh, no. Oh, no, they got him. They got him. He was thinking about Nonny's, he sensed Nonny in different ways. Yeah.

Let's say, yeah, taste, touch. Taste and touch. Let's rank the senses that you, it's acceptable to sort of observe your grandma with. What is your grandmother look like? Are you guys just going on with the show? What I'm in this condition? What's your grandmother look like?

What's your grandma look like? Good, what's your grandma sound like? Like, you know. Yeah, I know what my grandma sounds like. What is she? Don't mean it when I said go on without me. You guys should be really worried, guys. It went down the wrong pipe.

Smell is easy to describe, but difficult to ask. That puts it right there in the middle. Then we get into taste and touch. You're still doing jokes. Taste is the worst. I think brother's saying. Taste is the worst word. Yeah, because touch is like shame on you for asking.

Like if you, if you ask the question, no, we hear you. If you ask the question, what's your grandma feel like? I'm going to give you a little chin music. That's for sure. But I can answer that. I've held her hand, I've given her hugs, right? Right. It's a taste one.

Never tasted them, yeah. And most likely never will. Probably won't. When I was 12, Nani let me drive to Bob Evans farm while sitting on her lap and that was a long haul. That's a cool story. Any other cool Nani stories? Yeah.

When I was at Bob Evans farm later that day, I, an old man had his drink stuck in a vending machine and I got it, I got in there with my little arm and got it out and he said, thanks, I'll dance to your wedding and walked away. Cool. Did he? That was dad.

It was, yeah, no, he, I don't, not that I know. He didn't get my details or anything. Yeah. Maybe he was an angel and he did dance to your wedding. It's possible. It's beautiful on the head of a pin. Yeah. Well, it's, I think my signature scent

would probably be sugar-free hazelnut coffee mate. Huh. I think I just smell like me, right? Like just, oh, that's Travis, that's pure Travis. That's pure uncut Travis right there. You know? Here's my set, put this lotion on, you'll smell like Travis.

But what's that smell? I like a Lurom sport. Yeah. Excuse me? You heard me. I didn't. Let's take a break. We're going to go to the Money Zone

and there's nothing you can do about it. Okay. Whoa! Whoa! It's better, it's better with you. Okay, Griffin, off the top of your head, could you name me between 15 and 18 different jobs that might use Squarespace?

Sure, skateboard artist. Okay. And cook. Let's do. Fire fighter. And website maker. Well. Online retail specialist.

Okay. And fighting. Fighting. Fighting. And crossing guard. That's pretty good. Freelance crossing guard. And...

If you want to show how well you can cross guard or guard crosses, I guess, you can set up your website on Squarespace. Pharmacy one. No, don't. Hey, listen, there are many different ways that you can use Squarespace, but please do not set up your own pharmacy

using Squarespace. We cannot advocate for that, Griffin. That's a good point. Yeah. If you're working at a big pharmacy chain, they probably have their own website. You don't have to, you don't have to double up. I've wanted to start my own pharmacy

for a while, so I built a website. It's a place you can go online to order my medicine for... It's like, yeah, I'm a pharmacist at CVS, but their website sucks. So now I made a website called Keith's Drugs. You can showcase your work, sell products and services of all kinds.

Well, it does save all kinds. There you go. Remember your physical or online businesses and more. They got beautiful, customizable templates created by world-class designers. Everything optimized from mobile right out of the box. Analytics that help you grow in real-time, free and secure hosting,

and nothing to patch or upgrade ever. So go to squarespace.com slash mybrother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code mybrother, one word, to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Now, yeah, I told them, I was,

I did the whole like, oh, I'm coughing so bad, you guys gotta do the ads. Without me, thanks. That's fine. Yeah, basically like paid not to podcast. You know what I mean? And no, they bought it. Hey, Justin, you actually are needed.

And we clocked. We were actually, this is embarrassing because we're hearing it. We're hearing it. And we clocked you out. As soon as you needed. No, I just tossed the headphones on the table. I don't have them on.

No, we clocked you out. Yeah. No, I don't think they would have the guts to clock me out. No, I'll text them. Hold on, I'll text them. Okay. Well, I want them to text them. Hold on, let me get a plan.

Justin, we can hear it. Send. Boom! That was a vibration. Are you fucking, you should fucking stop it. Sorry, guys, I really choked up over here. Oh, like emotionally. You need to calm down.

No, it's just way down the wrong pipe. So I'm trying to get to calm down. That was a good segue for you to escape. Yeah. I'll try to calm down, but I don't know how I do it without an app or something. Oh, right, right, right. Listen, Justin, we're partnering with Calm.

It's the number one mental wellness app to give you the tools you need to improve the way you feel. Mostly I think mentally, right? I don't know that they can stop you from fake call thing to get out of work. Right. But you can clear your head with guided daily meditation

to improve your focus with Calm's curated music tracks and drift off the dreamland with Calm's imaginative sleep stories. Sleep. Oh, my God, they're the best. Sleep more, stress less, live better with Calm. Hey, does this, does this works on seven week old babies? Cause it's so, gotta get down there.

It's unreal. Imagine they have all these really boring sleep stories like where they just talked to you about a train trip. You know what I mean? Not boring. I mean, they're intentionally like just chilling on an eventful. Right.

Just supposed to put you to sleep. Imagine Kilian Murphy. Okay. Telling you about crossing Ireland by train. Fuck yeah. To help you whisk you off to sleep. Wait, they got that? Harry Styles.

Yeah, he'll talk to you, it's called dream with me. For 40 minutes, you and Harry Styles. You and Harold Styles. Harold, Dr. Harold Styles. Do you enjoy watermelons? He just, I, you know, they got interest. They got everybody. Everybody.

It's fantastic. How do we hear it? Do you have someone that we do? Well, you go to calm.com. That's C a l m.com slash my brother. Although I'd argue if you don't know how to spell calm, maybe you shouldn't try to relax right now. Maybe you should get more focused in your life.

Calm.com slash my brother for 40% off unlimited access to calm's entire library. That's calm.com. There's a limited time promotion of a 40% off a calm premium subscription at calm.com slash my brother. Somewhere between science and superstition, there is a podcast. No!

Look, your daughter doesn't say she's a demon. She says she's the devil himself. That thing is not my job. And I want you to tell me there's a show where the hosts don't just report on French science and spirituality, but take part themselves. Well, there is. And it's Ono Ross and Carrie on Maximum Fun.

This year, we actually became certified exorcists. So yes, Carrie and I can help your daughter. Or we can just talk about it on the show. Ono Ross and Carrie on Maximum Fun. Ono Ross and Carrie on Maximum Fun.org. I really want to tackle the next question, boys. I think it's I it's not something we normally do, but. I think we could help.

How do I sleep over at Buffalo Wildlings? Yeah, this is fun. That's a fun question. Mm hmm. In the museum sleepover setting, which is the traditional, hey, what are you doing here? Sleepover setting. You just go, you go and, you know,

pull a Franklin wiler in the fucking bathroom and just like chill up in a stall and like kick it there and just like wait. But Buffalo Wildlings is a little bit smaller. It's easier to put eyes on all of its dark corners and crevices. You know they have somebody who sweeps it like, and not with a broom, but like sweeps it like looking for.

You looking for buff for wing squatters. Like waiting people are taking chicken naps. Yeah. So bathrooms not going to cut it. First of all, I've never actually been lucky enough to get into a bathroom stall at a Buffalo Wildlings. So so bodacious are the cues to access. They're both wings out.

Yeah, it's out of sight. So you got to be a little more creative than that. It's interesting from the you went that week. So when I first read this question, my thought was, you know, people always talk about where they want to have their birthday party and it's like a Chuck E. Cheese, right or something.

But like maybe I want to have a lock-in sleepover experience at a Buffalo Wildlings. Is that a service that they offer? Well, let's, I don't want to squash this dream before we get into like actual tactics and strats for how to sleepover at a Buffalo Wildlings. But I do want to say that there probably won't be anybody working while you're at the Buffalo Wildlings.

So like if you're thinking like you're going to have like a huge like wing chop and like festival for yourself, then that unless you cook them yourself, which you don't know where they keep the good sauces. What about the wings that they made than nobody ate during the day? Those are probably just sitting out, right? You can probably just eat those.

The gently used wings. What do you do with those? That can be a fun sleepover activity is to pick through those. You can make bone art. There's a lot of stuff you can use. There's a lot of stuff you can do at a BW3's sleepover. Actually, now that I think about it,

you can hunt for bone weapons. Bone art, bone weapons. You can hunt for the WEC. Where's the WEC? Yeah. Where's the WEC? Find the WEC. You could play trivia by yourself.

Do they still do the trivia? I can't imagine they still do the trivia. Do you think they still do the trivia? They have to. Right? Probably on their phones and not. It's probably on your phones now, right? Hey, kids.

Hey, kids. Come around. Hey, kids, you'll never believe this, but for a while, if you went to BW3's or Damon's or several other places, you could ask a person for a device that they would give you to play trivia on. It was like a big, chunky keyboard.

It was a speaker spell. A big, chunky keyboard. Essentially, that you would punch in things and the TV would be like, you're not smart. You're loose. Look at this person, last place, who put their real name, Griffin McElroy, at table 14, 80th.

I would argue, though, that in our dad's 65 years, it was the only time he was ever truly happy. Yeah, that's true. Sometimes you'd see dad come in fourth in the nation. Yeah. And it was so inspirational. If he got one of the, we would often have three at the table, right?

Because nobody else would fucking do it. But dad would be so laser focused. He might as well have not been there. Yeah. And those are the times when I missed my daddy the most. So that's gonna be fun. Shit, boys. I was all ready to stomp all over this one,

but I think a sleepover at Buffalo Wild Wings would be one hell of a night. Some of them have arcade machines, too, so that would be fun. Yes, some golden tea, fucking forget about it. I love that. The basketball ones, where it's kind of a game, but also remind you that you're bad at sports?

Yes, okay. We gotta do this. How are we having our Buffalo Wild Wings sleepover? So you spent your entire time deciding that you do what I do. I do want to do this. It sounds fucking fun. Yeah.

Okay, what about this? Yeah. You need to get yourself, and this cannot be hard to find, right? Get yourself a Buffalo Wild Wings uniform, and then be there like maybe an hour or two before closing, and you're gonna start cleaning some things, right? Okay.

And then just one by one as people clock out, you just keep saying, like, oh, no, I'll lock up. I got it. I'll close down. Yeah. Okay, I like this. Until you're the last person there. Then you just stay, baby.

Well, it would have to be a pretty huge Buffalo Wild Wings for somebody to not go. I have never seen you before. You do not work here. There are six people here. You think every Buffalo Wild Wings input, I'm new. Boom. I'm wet.

I'm wet. I'm wet. I used to be here, but then I left. I don't know about this strategy, but let me hit you with this. Get seduced by the owner of a Buffalo Wild Wings franchise. But not, wait, not seduce them. No, no, no, no.

But get sed- It's gotta be there, because you know that they are looking out left, right, and center for people to seduce them to try and have a sleepover at Buffalo Wild Wings. Okay. But if you- I'm sorry, what was I thinking?

If you create a real honey pot and you allow yourself to be seduced. Oh man, if you haven't tried the honey pot sauce, by the way. It's the best. Allow you and- It's honey and CBD, which is really nice. Which is really wild. It's like, if you were the franchise owner

of a Buffalo Wild Wings, you know that you're gonna be using that sexually to your advantage as much as you possibly can. And this is- With the power to be able to grab it. Look, I have the keys. Yeah, I have the keys to the Buffalo Wild Wings. Do you wanna go make love in there?

And then you could say, yes. And then, you know- I could show you the whack. I could show you where we keep the secret whack. And then, you know, maybe you do fall in love, but it's probably just for the sleepover at Buffalo Wild Wings. But the one thing you never plan on

when you're planning on a sleepover at Buffalo Wild Wings is to fall in love. Is he falling in love? Yeah. Damn it. It's too risky. Don't do mine. Okay.

Hey, don't do mine, guys. Okay, you're gonna need a mascot costume. All right. And then you're gonna need a front, you walk in wearing the mascot costume. You're a new mascot for Buffalo Wild Wings so it's that you have a letter from corporate that explains everything, right?

Now you're gonna need, you're gonna need a compatriot. A compatriot is gonna come in, they're gonna eat a regular meal, but then at some point, you're gonna switch the costume to them. Now they're gonna leave, right? So they'll see the costume leave.

But what's that? You're still there. Okay. Whoa. Yeah. Wear in the walk-in freezer because underneath the mascot costume, you were wearing like a thick starter jacket.

So- They never saw it coming. You're very warm. That's good. What's the team on the starter jacket? It's the Green Bay Packers. So then you're going to release yourself in the walk-in. Now, this is important.

You need to make sure before you close the walk-in door that there is a way to release yourself in the walk-in. You gotta put some tape over the thing or like- Something. Something. Because this is the one part of the plan where you could die from it.

Yeah, this is the, listen, this is so important. Stuff some tissue paper in there, something. Listen, if you really want to sleep over at Buffalo Wildways, you have to accept the fact that you might die in the process. There's a risk. There's a risk. But you got to risk it for the basics sometimes.

And if you want to sleep, listen, now I will say that in extreme cases, if you do get locked in the walk-in, you can start consuming the frozen blaze and sauce. Yeah. And it will buy you some time. It'll get to stopgap measure at best though. Yes.

Now, you can also usually find some celery in there, which is cool. Okay. Now you're gonna have to free yourself, right? Now you're gonna need to avoid the cameras. Oh, did I mention those cameras? Yeah. But this can be accomplished

by dressing like a ghost underneath your starter jacket. That's right, you're taking the starter jacket off and you're the ghost of the guy who died doing the Blazom Hot Wings Challenge. He's there anyways, it won't be suspicious. Okay, now, time to play that basketball game, my friend. Enjoy. Enjoy.

The hard parts over. Now in the morning, you will be going to prison. You'll go to jail. Yeah. But it's worth it. But then you take off the ghost costume, you're wearing a shirt that said, I didn't steal anything.

I didn't, I don't plan to steal anything. I'm not a burglar. I don't plan to burgle this place. I'm just having fun. And it says that on your shirt. And so when they like see the security camera footage, they're like, who is this burglar? And then they're like, no, read a shirt.

And you're like, read the shirt. It's right up in the perfect crime. It's just a harmless little adventurer. Yeah. Who's gonna have a great story coming out of tonight. I'm proud of him. I love him. I would marry that adventurer.

A lot of these scenarios are gonna end up with you finding the love of your life. Yep. But that's Buffalo Wild Wings for you. That's Buffalo Wild Wings, baby. To backup, it used to be called BW3. And the third W was for WEC. Yeah.

It was Wings Wild and WEC. And I think WEC was maybe a kind of head. It was like a bread. Or like an Irish thing. I don't know exactly. But that's why we kept saying WEC earlier. Was that not clear? This has been, you're listening to this

with directors commentary turned on. You can turn me off at any point. We should do that more. Hey, you know that joke we've been making for the last 20? That's a reference from a TV show that only the three of us watched and had two episodes. And that's why it was only funny to us and no one else ever. Should we do another question?

Yeah, I think so. I was gonna do, there's like news in the chicken sandwich wars, but I don't really feel like, I feel like things have been so stressful that like more conflict is not really what we need right now. Okay. But just so you do know, Pringles is making Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich flavored chips.

Yeah, good. Huh, crisps. That's it. That's all we need sometimes is just that. Yeah. All right. You should just know that, that that's gonna happen. Cool.

And it's out there. Awesome. And also Taco Bell said that it refuses to join, it refuses to join. Well, Dammit Juice, I do actually need more details on that. Bun, mayo, chicken, pickle, bun. Sound familiar? Yeah.

Yeah, sorry. Yeah. Maybe not. Well, let me, you know what? Actually, I could tell you the story, Let me just play this brief document. Fuck. Fuck.

The Great Chicken War. The battles began where most tragedies do, with a bun. In 2019, a brioche bun carrying pickles, mayo and chicken became an agent of disruption and desire, the chaos, immediate, and the copycats inevitable. Same sandwich syndrome sprang up everywhere. People were forced to endure hours long waits for a taste.

Journalists had to find new ways to describe this blah, blah, bun banality. The victors were many. But in chaos, a single meal dared to do the undoable, get naked. And so it was, the Taco Bell's naked chicken chalupa returned to menus nationwide.

Unburdened by bonds, the fried chicken shell carried something greater than the sum of its ingredients. Imagination, did it end the wars? No. But it did offer something better. A chalupa. So.

That's a good commercial. No, it's not, because you can't say, we're better than the chicken wars. So we've got our own little chicken war going on over here, where we're the only combatants and we win. That's bullshit. It would be like if you saw two people shooting at each other and then you taped a gun to your head

and you're like, I'm not in the war. I'm in a different war that I'm the only combatant in and I win gunhead war. So. I'm just saying that listen to them. Like, listen, Justin, you can't tell me that there is a strong, strong thread of truth to the listening to journalists talk about

the blah, blah, blah chicken sandwiches. I mean, I'm part of it. We're part of the machine. Yeah, we're part of the machine. I mean, I'm part of the machine. So it's hard for me to have that kind of kind of distance. I will say there's a great quote from Liz Matthews, Taco Bell's chief food innovation officer.

When you look at the industry, you see the same sandwich being introduced as new everywhere. But a Taco Bell, being a follower isn't our philosophy. We've listened to our fans and we're confident this is the perfect time to bring back this fan favorite. Hey, Liz. You listened to your fans, you followed your fans. So Liz, you followed your fans

and also followed yourself of the chalupa you did again. And also you fucking didn't invent the taco. You can't say that. You didn't. And it's, this is probably not the best time to remind you. It's not chalupa, but I guess I'll go ahead and do that too. It's, you're in the chicken sandwich wars. Like I don't know, if you can't do a commercial

about the chicken sandwich wars that ends with you revealing your chicken product, like that is also unacceptable. You're in the shit now, Taco Bell, congratulations. You could have just- Yeah, you're in the war. You could have just as easily not. Like you didn't have to do a commercial saying

fuck the chicken sandwich wars. Or it could have ended with you revealing that you'll now be selling like reasonably priced but durable work boots. You know, like- If they had made a commercial that didn't end with them announcing a product and had just been these fucking losers,

keep talking about their identical chicken sandwiches, fuck that, come get some Taco Bell, baby. We're gonna Doritos blast some shit and you know you're gonna be here for it. You're fucked up, I'm fucked up, like let's party. Ignore these fucking squares. They don't know what they're doing. But we don't have anything new for you today.

We just are so fucking tired of it and we know you are too. Fucking Popeyes, fucking just do whatever you want. Like go eat a chicken sandwich but like just chill for like a minute. Even talking about the chicken sandwich wars gives more credence to the idea that this exists. That this is, because it is like a wild phenomena of like everyone just decided there was a war

and then we all said there was a war and it's almost like that's how it really works. Yeah. Now I wanna talk about the chicken gores. It's where the bangle are. Yeah, yeah. The primarily right side of the chicken. Hey, let's call it a show.

I think this is a show and we really appreciate you listening to it. We hope you're having a good day. Huh, we don't say that enough. Yeah, we don't. I hope that you've done something nice for yourself and someone else for that. Yeah, thanks, I appreciate you.

Thanks. Hey, thank you. Thank you, Justin. I like the way you read the questions. Thanks, Trav. I like the way that you responded to them and did some of your own jokes and the whole thing. I wanna say that-

Hey, Griffin did a good job too. I thought Justin would pass it on to you. Yeah. And he kind of then just passed it back to me. It's okay, I don't need it. I don't need it. I wanna say that Montaigne will always be my Eurovision 2021 winner.

Yeah. End of sentence. That's who I say won Eurovision 2021. End of sentence. Won our hearts for sure. And the competition. And the competition. And the competition.

Yeah. And thank you to Montaigne for the theme song to our program. My life is better with you. I know a lot of people with the full version of that. It's good. I've heard it. It should be out like,

we're not in the music release in business, folks. You know? We're barely in the podcast release in business. Yeah, it's not in our control. Montaigne rules. You know, it is in our control of macroemerge.com. Go over there and check out our pin of the month. It's a tub pumpkin.

It's really great. It benefits the Equal Justice Initiative, which is committed to ending mass incarceration and excessive punishment in the United States to challenging racial and economic injustice and to protecting basic human rights for the most vulnerable people in American society. You can also check out.

We got an adventure zone logo decal there and a new Appalachian workshop sticker with a portion of this proceeds going to Habitat for the Humanity of the Tri-State. I do some Twitch streaming over at twitch.tv slash the Travis McElroy. Speaking of, you can go check out our YouTube channel. We got Taste of the Luxury over there.

We got Monster Factory. We got some video game streams we did. We got some stuff that we put up during the Max Fun Drive that you can watch. So all kinds of great stuff over there. You can also pre-order Adventure Zone Crystal Kingdom, the next graphic novel in the series over at theadventurezonecomic.com.

That's coming out July 13th, 2021. So not too far away. Don't miss your chance to pre-order and get that pre-order gift from our publisher for a second. It's a Kravitz lenticular laptop sticker and you can submit receipts for the pre-order gift at bit.ly slash Taz for pre-order. And hey, speaking of Taz,

we just started a new season of the Adventure Zone. Get on board now. We're doing some fun world building stuff and I think you're gonna really enjoy it. Yeah. Do you want to final Yahoo? Yes? Yeah, this one was sent in by Chester.

Okay. Thanks Chester. It's Yahoo Answers user, bam. Who asks? How many? How many of you have... How many of you do not know when... I'm sorry, what?

Say it! Where did? I fell off my bike and my nuts hit a car. Should they go to jail? Should they go to jail? What is... What is Justin McGrath's name? I'm Griffin McGrath.

I can't believe there's so many great real y'all here. Yeah, totally. It's an endless supply. Thanks Chester. Chester, what another great real y'all here? Thanks for listening to my brother by brother beat. Get your ass scrubbed! Oh, it's better with you.