My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 563: A Streetcar Named Deez Nuts

Episode Date: June 7, 2021

Summer’s here! It’s time to bust out the new splashes and signature scents. Don’t have a signature scent? Not to worry, we’ve got you covered with this lil’ baby. It has a base fragrance of chicken sandwiches with top notes of zinc oxide and kolaches.Suggesting talking points: Beach Horse, You are the Splash, Kolache Church, High Coyote Activity, Richard StinkSupport AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate For resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up you cool, baby? Precious friendship Could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better

It's better it's better It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me and if I share for the budget error I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. Well, me. I'm your middle-aged brother Travis big dog. Woof woof McElroy and I am your sweet baby brother Griffin McElroy and I got big news for you Just came in through the local channels that the pools and the splash pads are back open And this is a city-wide alert and for Austin, Texas, but I imagine also around the world People are celebrating as these big beautiful water

Bodies are ready for business Splash pads like a pool, but it doesn't go very deep splash It's very very very shallow pool, but the big pool is what I'm concerned about because I am known at my local pools for When I walk up on it when I walk up on the diving board in my Oakleys and

That one little strip of sunscreen on my nose. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think and my Surf shorts, uh-huh, and I do my flex and every the glisten of my body Catches the light in just the right way and everybody looks at me and they're like, oh, no here. He comes and then I do my You know my big jump off of it and splash down I people know me and last year just from the splash from the splash in the pose and the Shorts and the whole thing and the strip of sunscreen last year though Fucking disease. Yeah Finally we're talking about it

And this disease sucks shit on so many different levels, but the disease kept me from getting mine last year Yeah I didn't get a chance to go to my local pool and do my favorite thing Which is panic as my child is eating a popsicle too slowly and I know it's gonna fall off as a stick And I know she's gonna be upset about it and I'm standing there in my rash guard, but I'm not surfing I'm just covering myself because I'm afraid of both the Sun and other people's gaze Yes, so I'm sitting there like, you know, you need to eat it. No, it's it's drip. It's dripping It is drip. You have to it's gonna fall. Yes, and I'm worried about it

And she's not because she has no sense of consequences. Yes, right legalized marijuana strike all marijuana based crimes from the record expunge them but popsicles you have to be 18 because Not 18 you don't fucking understand What the what is expected of you and the pressure and also the consequences Don't if you do go slow and you do get intentional. It's intentional. I'll take it to go I'll be eating it in the worst way imaginable. Whatever the you know, the move I love is like I've had four licks off this I'm gonna set it somewhere. Yeah, I don't remember. Yeah, set it down three. What do I care?

But now yeah, I got this fucking text It's like pool time, baby and that the text text to you. Well, the text went out and said hey everybody Especially Griffin the pools are open again. So everybody the text says pulls the mayor and so Mayor Austin Austin Mayor Austin Austin Steve Austin of Austin is telling me that it's time to come get my splash on and he Said that I could be first in line There and it was gonna be sort of a ribbon-cutting ceremony and I'm gonna jump through the ribbon in midair, but anyway, I I

The pressure is huge now Because I had a year to think about I had two years to think about how I was gonna make a splash Yeah Literally, hey, hey Griffin Griffin. Yeah, yeah Yeah, the only mask you're gonna be wearing is a snorkel No, you don't need that when you're doing a diving board splash. Oh, you don't here's they've seen me do Cannonball they've seen me do double cannonball. Mm-hmm That's where me and a friend do it at the same time

And we got yelled at by the lifeguard So we can't do the double cannonball again cuz they said they'd kick me out of the pool They don't care how cool I am when I do it jack knife. Yeah of spread spread it spread it out I did a I did a phone. I've done all the big ones and I guess I just like I'm a little worried that I'm gonna come up short. Have you done the enema? That's the one where you get your though you get it to go up Yeah, where you land like the first part of your body that makes contact with the water is your butthole Yeah, and it looks like even the cheeks touch

It looks like a cannonball. So you have to announce loudly like it's about to go up. It's about to go up It's it's gonna look like a cannonball, but it's gonna go up And it's about how you then come out of the water like what sounds you make what face you may yeah, yeah, like In a ma I don't I don't know In a ma more like in a me I cuz people are waiting also. This is gonna be Them knowing that it's all over like the cut like We're we did we did it and now it's time for us to do our this is our mission accomplished better Yeah, exactly. I think you're gonna have to make up a new one Griffin

Yeah, you're gonna have to like sit down at the drawing board You're gonna have to design something and call it like, you know operation mission accomplished And like you're gonna have to do You know operation herd immunity whatever you want to call this dive, right and it has to tell the story America's triumph Narrative Suggesting a narrative splash a narrative dive. Yes, that's good die that tells a story that we use a tail Yes, that's good Travis and I'll be honest

It's give me an idea that's better than my current sort of prevailing idea Which is that I get on the diving board and I jump up and I just keep going up Like how I was gonna make that one happen But you've given me idea of when time magazine said that I was person of the year or whoever was reading the magazine was Person of the year and they put a little mirror on the cover Maybe that's it and I get up on the diving board and I hold up a big mirror and I say Everyone well, no, I say it's you doing the splash. Oh, I like that Maybe just a mirror suit to Griffin just little chunks like a mosaic

But it's like little chunks of mirror all over you. So when they look at you It is actually their body that they see perfectly Aligned with your body. That's good. Yeah, that's awesome What if I lay what if I plank on the side of the pool and I say I'm the diving board Oh, you're jump off jump off my body into the if you sit in the pool with your mouth open to say this is my tiny pool Yes, and I feel my right you to leave him. That's really good Justin Team a team of people kind of a flash mob of people and one by one is they jump off It's it's like the declaration of independence, right one word at a time

Okay, and you guys are going boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom, you know, I mean like one after another Just everybody lined up going and it's like we the people right or maybe it's even every syllable, right? Yeah, we the people is that what you're going with? Yeah. Yes. Okay, good That could be good I also thought if I could do get on about horses back and get him a jump on the diving board That would hurt him and he would unless it's one of those cool like beach horses, which I don't think they have those in central, Texas He would pass away Get a celebrity diver. Oh

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna gain us Okay Sure. Yeah, name another one name another diver who's not Greg Luganus. Oh, I didn't mean to be fair I did not mean a diver who was a celebrity. I meant a celebrity to dive For you and the thing about Greg Luganus is everyone's gonna be really nervous. He's gonna bonk his head again Yeah, like he's an exceptional diver Athlete, but he did famously bonk his head one time and I think people would be like I'm trying to celebrate COVID But here I am all stressed out that mr. Luganus is gonna bonk his noggin again

Is Michael Phelps good at getting into the water or is he just inside of it? I've never seen it, right? Yeah, the camera cuts away. It cuts back. He's already in the water Exactly, he might just kind of flail all around in midair as he just kind of like lowers in and he snorts like a half-quarter water each time Okay, I'm ready. It's okay Michael. It's okay. You're in. You're in. It's fine People start showing up to the Olympic arena. He's already in the water He got there for he got there an hour before everybody He had them fill the pool around him. Yeah. Oh, that could be good. Where is Griffin? He's been at the bottom of the pool for an hour holding his breath. He did this splash a long time

I have a quick update. I wanted to mention and This was shared amongst our staff and now I want to bring it to everyone's attention last week. We had a brief segment diverting segment about Charles entertainment cheese and I did want to mention just because I did not have the information at the time that since 2012 Charles entertainment cheese has been voiced by Jared Reddick the lead singer of bowling for soup. Oh So not only see the voice of the theme song of Phineas and Ferb He is also the voice of Charles entertainment cheese and has been for you the nine years of the authenticity that you heard in those tracks

Yeah, real like real the Phineas the Phineas and Ferb thing Justin just unlocked a fucking puzzle box in my mind that has been screwed pretty tight Since the since the episode since the recording of that episode I'm so glad that you've just set me free from the prison of my own thoughts Tell tell me more. What do you how do you mean? It just sounded there was something about Charles entertainment cheese the town? It's so familiar Yeah, it was and it was because of the Phineas and Ferb music and now I know the thing that's fucking me up What is it knowing that after the right after the fact knowing that it's actually weird to me

That it's taking them nine years to think. Oh, maybe an album Hey, they hey bud get on Spotify and then feel like a real doofus This guy's been cranking out the hits for a long really. Yeah. Yeah, believe it or not Okay. Hey listen, this is an advice show. Yeah, you're right and we're I'm done talking about entertainment We got we'll have time for some we need to make some art We're gonna have time for more skits later But now we're gonna help you. Yeah, I want to talk about art Let's you know because sometimes this show can be a little purile, but sometimes it could be

Ready artsy fartsy and it's time for work a fart Just so you know traffic. Sorry haters. No, I am I am one of them I'm gonna fucking knock this right out of the park, but I want you to know I'm gonna hate every second of it Okay, I got three and then a bonus one. So okay. Okay. Okay. Here we go. That's a good way of thinking about it Yeah, okay this great novel details one musicians obsession with finding the perfect phallus Wait, is it wait a hold on do you ding dong stuff too? Yeah

Whoa, that's the you're expanding sort of the whole concept. Yeah, this is a broadening. This is too broad Yeah, it's getting silly in work of art. Okay. Give me that again This novel this great novel details The journey of one musician and his obsession with finding the perfect phallus Hmm Damn here. I was talking a big game I'm gonna need more

Well focus on the the musician part is a big oh thanks trap. Oh fuck. Yeah, I forgot about one of the ten words that you said That's all I got. I don't have more clues. Are you ready? I'll just tell you what it is. Just anyone make a guess No, we were looking for Moby's dick Moby's dick, but it's that was a book about a whale and not a musician, but it was the Musician this is what he's doing. No, no, I know he's pulling the threads tighter, but you would you wouldn't Do you there's no way on a million in a million years? We would have gotten that Obsession stop stop stop stop stop stop if you had said a musical artist who is obsessed with his own phallus I might have been able to get there. Yeah

But I like I wouldn't look at I don't look at any other dick in this any other like PP in this world and go that's mine Okay, are you ready? I Guess so is this one gonna make sense and be like solvable and be good. They serious Created by Benjamin Franklin Collected all of the scrotal information for that year as well as Richard's almasack Oh, so close. Well, you know what? Let me look at the judges We were looking for poor Richard's Balmanac, but we'll give it to you. Okay. Well, let's agree to disagree. Just say Balmasack

I missed when I was about All right, fine. I can't I this thing is a shame to see our president denigrated like this that he has to be drug Into okay, I got one more and given this one's back to poops. Are you ready? Yeah, I guess okay I can't believe that I'm reminiscent About that, but go ahead Heathcliff. Yeah plots revenge now that he has money Against the woman who spurned him and also he can't stop pooping I

Heathcliff, uh-huh not the cat but a character named Heathcliff correct This is classic literature, which is not my which is not my strong suit is that is that from What there is it withering heights with a book is it withering shites? It is withering shites It is withering shites one for one One for what one for three. Wow. Sorry. You each have one. Okay. Okay. Okay, so the bonus now Yeah, it's indeed. It's necessary unless it's also gonna be bad like the first one. Well, that's why it's the bonus Okay, wait is it a bonus because it's not very good. We'll see

Okay, Stella will need to depend on the kindness of strangers if she's allergic to these Is it a streetcar named these nuts? This segment it's the second time doing it and it's already gone so off the rails That can't be this can't be the episode title Yeah, you can't give that kind of gold away you gotta make people pony up the download All right. Well, then it's up to us to find something more More powerful card Griffin. You didn't hear it. I think Because he didn't say it street card name. It's not I said it first Justin. I heard it. I thought it. I knew it

All right Now it sounds like you're crying just something wailing a little bit about it's been a tough 15 months Listen this year's been hard on all of us. Yeah, whoo fuck. Okay. So are you done? Yep Once again Griffin wins by the way two to one. Yeah, we all lost Um, I work it in bakery that often has items left over at the end of the day No, you gotta you gotta pull it together Damn it At the end of the day and my boss lets me take out whatever I want when we close up shop

We also give whatever is left away to a local church My problem is that the church volunteers will stand there watching me pack up whatever I want, which is admittedly quite a bit Brothers, what do I do about the very passive judgment? I feel that's from sweets taker in south texas Yeah, they shouldn't be there while you're doing yours. I shouldn't watch you They shouldn't watch you while you do yours and this may be something you can fix by maybe throughout the day If you know something's gonna get you know Back when I was working at game stop if somebody traded in like oh, this is a

A fairly mint copy of dark cloud 2 on playstation 2. I'm gonna want this So I might not Stuck this one on the shelves right away By it myself I've done a lot of things at game stop that should have got me quite fire, but I'm saying you do the same thing. This cheese danish looks pretty good. Let me just oops. I dropped it under the bottom rack Where no one can see it and then the church doesn't have to watch you get it They should you do though grieve it in that plan to run the risk of like your boss being like

Hey, what's this stack of kalachi's doing back here in this cupboard and like those aren't for god Your boss has created a scenario where like you are de incentivized To move these all right. So someone's like I'll take an almond tart and you're like, I don't know I I've heard about those heard something about those. I would leave that behind for me I mean Trash, I mean also you can just get these church people in there all day anytime somebody comes in It's like, um, let me buy some almond tarts for me. Am I a beautiful wife? And then you say okay, but then the church people are like, oh, no

That's two almond tarts that you see predimentary Predimentary does this And I've always felt like if I buy something at predimentary I'm stealing food. Right. When are you buying things at predimentary? Yeah, when I used to try out though, I didn't used to be bound like some sort of like salt trapped ghost in huntington west virginia Like I used to travel around throughout this great globe of ours um

Yeah, I don't know you're right though. It's that was the before I'll never see the inside of predimentary Or a fucking kadoba Kadoba I got a kadoba here. I don't want to brag What's stopping you who who's decision going to kadoba good questions No, whose decision is it when it's time to make more batches of things Because you could just like 20 minutes before closing up just like all right pop five in it's a bakery It's a fancy baker. You're not like nuke in them. Like it has to be prepared lovingly by hand. Yeah

Um, could you do it like I made these and I'm gonna why are you asking me? I don't know it's not in charge He's not the boss of bakery. He's not the big baker boy Well, I am the big baker boy. That's what everyone calls me in town, but not for this particular south texas zone just just You know what make the church people go first And then if they leave you interesting if they leave you nothing just go Oh, uh, uh, okay. I um, okay. I guess I won't eat any baked sweets tonight

Oh, man You can also say you're taking them to a rival church. There you go This is this is for a church with even more kids in it who need these and also They're building the church out of collages And if I don't get on the collages they won't have a roof It's a kalachi based kid lutheran church. See you. I gotta take all of them. Do you remember those? Oh, man I was thinking maybe some sort of auction Where the church and you would each have a certain number of points

That's good arbitrary points and you could bid on different baked goods So that would probably extend this a lot longer than you want you want it to go I was actually just remembering. Do you remember the auctions? They used to have a church. Yeah, it was weird as shit I've told we've talked about them so many times. We have to because it's I don't think so I barely remember it's like on the edge of my memory like if I hadn't remembered this today I would have permanently forgotten it like basically if we haven't talked about it before You were given points awarded points for things like memorizing a bible verse remembering to bring your bible Bringing a friend was a big one was a billion

That's a juicy one right there and then at the end of the year They would have a stage full of prizes Oh my god, it was like it the dough is really get amazing. Yeah, that's where I got my big mouth billy baths from I got my tamagotchi. Is it is a dragon's horde? Yes. I got a baseball mitt I got a Tool belt one time flip but then you and you would see the kids they'd come in that night They're standing around like, you know, like a real oxygen bag. I'm definitely gonna bid on that. Oh, is that a basketball? Oh, yeah, I'm gonna give them and then

An auctioneer would auction them off Um, and it's so strange and it was a good incentive program To save souls to save the molecules save souls. I suppose Um, that has nothing to do with this particular question But it's fun. It's fun to talk about some some stuff um I don't think they should be there. I think this is up to you to not let them be in there while you take your stuff I need privacy for my selection process

Yeah, I'll put it all in your cheeks like a beautiful chip. Oh, yeah that happens While you make eye contact with them Well again, um Do y'all want some some wisdom of the crowd? Yes from online Um, let's open it up to the wisdom of the crowd. This is another uh, It's another wiki how joint that Amelia sent in that travis saw and then made sure that I saw it And it's it's a choice one because this article is gonna save a lot of lives This this segment when it does feature wiki how I think is gonna have the added benefit of being first of all real god buster

But second of all save your life Save someone's life because this one is how to act when near a coyote. That's the title of it It was last updated April 26, 2020, which is great because if there's been coyote evolutions coyote developments As long as they didn't happen within the last year like we're with this article is going to have us covered Um, and I will just say that in all of the drawings here the coyotes look very cute and very squat and small and that's Not like the coyotes I've seen and that's all I'm gonna say about that

But let's start let's just get into it and then we'll talk about some of the audience Q&A Method number one defend yourself at close range by looking at them in the eyes and back away because the coyote is afraid of you Make yourself big is another thing now. Wait hold on that first one as soon as said the coyotes afraid of me Yeah, coyotes are generally frightened of people and will not confront you I don't know that I trust that that might be true But with my luck I get that coyote is like I've seen some shit. I'm not afraid of you Yeah, there's there's yeah coyotes are nasty customers. They will they will come at you And that's why in this one hold your backpack above your head

Or your jacket to make yourself seem big Or you can shout or yell to frighten the coyote or you can throw sticks or rocks to scare away the coyote So those are things that don't throw anything at the coyote, but near it, I guess Um, actually damn, I'm looking at this picture the trajectory of this stick might be coyote bound Don't throw sticks at coyotes. I'm gonna say that just to point my flag You could throw a stick for the coyote to chase like it was some kind of puppy dog Now this is important and god I hope nobody got a phone call in the middle of this episode and stopped before these words

I'm saying right now and then was confronted by a pack of coyotes because guess what? When you're dealing with an entire pack of coyotes the instructions are basically the opposite You do not even give them ample space Do not stare at any of them or act threatening toward them one right one Fucking mad dog them. That's why they call it that you mad dog one coyote three coyotes Unimpressed look up at the sky do not shake a stick Do not yell just be okay being somewhere else I like that they give the instruction give them ample space like no fuck like yeah

Like I did not think the best way was like I'm gonna crowd him I'm gonna crowd into him like I'm trying to get first in line for the buffet. You know what I mean? Like I know Yeah, no method number three is staying safe in coyote territory It has only one step and it says be vigilant with your children and pets Make sure they don't get too close since they can be drawn toward animals And there's a picture of a dad ushering his Small blonde child away from the three coyotes that are approaching him. No no These coyotes aren't for you. These sick looking dogs aren't fun. Like yeah dog. I know I see them too

So that's helpful. Remember one coyote scare that coyote three coyotes be scared of those coyotes and don't let your kids come to you That's if the coyotes only one Then you know it's time for fun, right? If the coyotes are all three You lay down and you soil yourself and you hope leave you alone With shit or pee that's the right um Now I did say that's all you need to know the community did swing in here with a lot of q&a's and a lot of them are fear based

That there are coyotes in our yard and they killed all the neighbors chickens. Should I be scared? I don't somebody answers that says don't be scared But be wary don't go outside once it's dark and keep food inside so that you won't attract unwanted animals That sounds like scared behavior to me. That sounds like scared behavior. That sounds like the behavior of a scared person What can I do if I hear young coyotes howling near my home? Just stay inside, especially if it's night time. Make sure your pets are safe as well A ship in harbor is safe though And that's yeah, I said if they're young

You could get in there and reform them before it's too late. That sounds trainable right there Once they're older like I've seen fox in the hound right that fox is pretty chill early on Right now listen when that fox is bigger. I don't want to hang on Fox is scary. He grows up in terms of the Robin Hood, but I want to get in there sexy. He's so sexy. It's a sexual when the coyotes are young I feel like I could get in there and befriend them. They're like, oh, here's some meat. Let's hang out Hey, how's how's your walk with christ? You know, I'm in there and I'm talking to them and tell them the good things They could do with their lives and turn it around. I'm standing and delivering them

I'm gonna teach them about math and stuff But now you guys know about coyotes, so I'm not gonna provide the answers to the next questions I want to see if you guys can really knock it out of the park. So juice What do I do if a coyote's outside my front door and I need to go out? Uh get a bat Yeah, that's actually not it says I recommend waiting until the coyote leaves the area If it's an emergency and you must leave your house do so with caution and consider bringing a weapon or something to protect yourself Okay, so not that far off actually not that we could far off. Although again, this is a community answer not from a

respected coyotologist, so um Uh, am I in danger if I hear coyotes near my house in the morning's Travis? In the mornings. No, absolutely not. They're sluggish and sleepy. They have not been warmed by the sun yet Yes, that's exactly it. They get their power from the sun just like a superman does. Yeah, I knew it Justin I got to get to work and I have to ride my bicycle through an area with high coyote activity. What should I do? Tie bats to your bicycle like it just married cans. Yeah, that's what it says just here. Justin great job What if a pack surrounds your campsite in howls traps? You're gonna howl right back. You're a member of that pack now my friend. Welcome your coyote

That's right. Travis. It says turn into a coyote with magic from uh, some sort of uh spear or an animarse That says it right there Justin this one's great. What should I do if I am scared? Oh boy, if I had the answer to that one, I'd probably be a little bit of much more chill daily existence. Yeah um Gosh, I don't know. I guess some there's some schools of thought that say Like acceptance therapy is the way to get you accept these fears. Yes. I have these fair. They're okay. Sorry. Let's frame. Let's frame There's specifically around coyotes if you can't oh, oh, oh, oh, okay. Sorry. That is your human body giving you smart news

you are That you are bad at coyote and you shouldn't vacate. Yeah, that is your listen to the good news from your human body Yeah, but juice Yeah, you're wrong. You have to get to work. That's wrong. Well, I would I would argue that there are some places Coyotes should be in some places. They shouldn't if I'm out in the forest that I see a coyote That's his home But if I'm on my office job working on that big report from mr. Jenkins and I turn around and there's a coyote in my cubicle That coyote should be scared. This is my place of business

I don't know why this has never bothered me the entirety of recording this program But as we're doing this segment, I am repeatedly confronted with a vision of someone who Finds themselves In a coyote situation. Yeah and is Only equipped only knows about this The information that we have like that is the one tool. You're right. They've brought with them There is their personal item is this bit. That's what they brought to coyote island in my mind

There's actually a worse scenario where they have listened to this bit But they also at some point did learn how to actually deal with it, but now they can't remember which one switch exactly So just to cover them and cover us legally The answer to what should I do if I am scared as provided by communities? You should call your parents or the nearest person around or call dial 911 Whatever you do do not run if you run the coyotes will think you're a threat and they will chase you Getting a lot of conflicting information

Here, but I do appreciate the first thing I do without the cell hit up dad Clean it clean it happened again Clant, it's me. I'm on the mobi. You got me. Find me. Find me. Do find my phone dad get here Ah, the coyote took the phone Do find my coyote. It's me griffin. It's everything's fine here. Did you watch doctor? I Just want to cover this last one too because I doubt it's going to be useful, but Will you get attacked by a coyote if you are on a trampoline?

And the community answer is if the coyote is interested in you It doesn't matter where you are it's safer if you stay inside But my answer is if you're on a trampoline, you will only be attacked by a coyote Roughly half the time because the other half you're up in the sky Coyotes can't jump and that coyote is going to have to get on that trampoline with you That's a great point. I would say you are wicked safe on it. This is one No legal worries legal worries aside griffin macaroy guarantee coyotes coming at you get up on a trampoline They're gonna have no fucking idea what to do if they do get up there popcorn bouncing, baby

They're gonna not know what to fuck to do with that. Uh, hey, do you mind if we take a quick, uh So sojourn is that the word to the money zone? I don't mind at all. Thank you. Absolutely. Thanks You got a dream, right? Yeah, I'm gonna turn it into reality. Yeah. Well bad news is I have no idea how to do that. Oh That's just kidding I had because I know about Squarespace and you should too this is the service that makeup artists are using to make websites and venues and personal trainers and Franchermakers to give us this whole list. It's always fun to just randomly put bars and pubs Everybody's using Squarespace to create a website. You don't need to be a web designer to make a beautiful

Uh looking website. You got to take your dream. Do I make it real? Will the Squarespace website? I want to make my dream real No, good news trap You can use the Squarespace site to showcase your work and sell products and services Promote your physical or online business and uh, you can do it with all of these beautiful Lovely templates now. Justin can I make my stream where I realize I never finished high school? And I have to go back and but it's the day of like the finals and I haven't studied at all And I'm worried that the teacher will notice that I haven't been there all year And for some reason also I I can fly but I when I do I like figured out like I just jump and don't

Land and I think and I think like oh, I finally figured out how to do it in real life Because I think that the dream is real. Can I make that dream real? Yeah, and this unique partnership. It's a ar activation web experience for all consumers of the digiorno brand you can Travel back to Travis's high school days at a website. He made cool. Uh, yeah, they got free and secure hosting too Fucking act like they don't have that because they absolutely do go to squarespace.com slash my brother for free trial And when you're ready to launch

Use the offer code my brother to save 10 of your first purchase of a website or a domain Squarespace websites From the internationally acclaimed creators of who shot you comes the movie podcast Maximum film starring producer and film festival programmer Draya Clark as a woman bound by passion I saw this eight months ago on the festival circuit and I loved it film critic Alonso derralde as a man corrupted by greed Why watch one hallmark rissus movie when I can watch seven And comedian iffy wadiway as a man protecting a love that society simply won't accept I think pacific rim is a perfect movie and if you can't accept that then I want you out of my life

From the makers of the movie podcast who shot you comes maximum film That's right. We changed the name of our show to maximum film But don't worry. We're still a movie review show that isn't just a bunch of straight white dudes So tune in to maximum film at maximum fun dot org or wherever you get your podcasts So it's you know, we're into june what of 20 big dog run and I feel like we I we haven't been doing enough regarding this theme and we're always pretty negligent about the theme So, um, I uh, uh, I wanted I wanted to try to change that I wanted to try to up our personal Games a little bit. So I wanted to bring in

Common expert. I'm really excited. Oh boy. Okay. This is different for us. I don't normally just randomly spring guests on you guys but I met this dude at the mall and um I'm Way into it and I know just what's gonna happen the next few minutes. So Um, I just please I guess welcome to the show Richard stink Rick Hello Richard

Boys Boys Yes, is this Richard? Yeah, it's me Richard stink I'm here to elevate your fragrance game Okay, the j-man told me about your fragrances and I wanted to take a moment to talk to all of my frag heads My fragils I call them. That's how the people like me who are obsessed With the pursuit of fragrance. I want to talk to you guys about your fragrance. Yeah for 20 big dog run You want to find some compliment machines?

The real shit that's gonna bring you so many ladies. You're gonna be freaking out about it Well, I'm what are you working with right now? Let's start with you the tall one. Oh, thank you I think I might be taller than travis. Yeah, but he's small one. You know what I mean But you slump. So I think he means me the guy who looks like he sells surfboards. That's me. Okay. Well, hold on trap Because I'm wearing a tank top right now Hey, Richard, which one of us do you mean which one do you want travis? I mean travis. All right, great I'm currently working with my natural smell Okay, this is an insult to me and your brothers that you work with. Are you a working partner with us? I wear deodorant

Um, okay natural it aluminum. It's it's aluminum free Uh, no no aluminum Uh, but other than that, you know, I just smell good my my my everybody likes to think it. Yes I mean, he's a not true. Okay. I got our fragrance for you. Let me take a look at you. Let me look in your eyes Oh, wow, you're really close Yeah, I'm so close. You smell amazing Sorry for you La nuit de l'homme by you say long. Okay, but I'm never gonna be able to spell that or look

You can handle it la nuit de l'homme a lot of guys a lot of real guys Things they won't be able to handle la nuit de l'homme. You know what this translates into. No Fuck it's fuck. I thought I could learn finally La nuit de l'homme by you say long Is that the is that the one little any kravitz wears you're gonna get a little bit of the bergamot There's a little bit of in the top note. Hey richard. Where are you from? What are you doing richard? I'm walking through the notes. It's really important. You're gonna get that bright fresh. What is this accent you have richard? Let me it's magical. It's important. You're gonna get the bright fresh juicy bergamot

That's in the opening is splash over you all of a sudden ladies are coming out of closets and woodwork Crawling through windows like a zombie movie. That's terrifying Gonna be all over you. I'm married with this bergamot But then he's gonna we're gonna have a dry down into something We're gonna start to get a little bit of that amp rocks in up in there. You're gonna get some notes of citrus and tobacco cherry No Not for you. Okay

Then why'd you even enter yes some cherry any interactions? I got a lot of naturals Is that an option? Can you get cherry free? It's just how I'd interact with different people a little way All right little one you got so you listen to me. Hey richard Can we go back to when you said that I would wear and get attacked? You're gonna be it's gonna be amazing for you and the the compliments are gonna be Of discharge you're gonna be losing people are gonna be Kool-Aid manning through my wall to tell me how You and your personal smell little one Little one. Yeah, what do you smell like?

Just normal. You're not what is it? What's the you don't have any respect for me? You don't have respect for your brother I do I'm uh Okay, so I guess the question I would have to ask is like how warm is it outside? Do I have something to do outside of my house today? Um, because if not it's probably gonna be the curvy white soap the brain of which I don't even know I've been using it so long I buy a Costco and a billion packs stack soap probably probably stack soap. Yeah still and then But if I'm going outside, it's it I mean it is gonna be pure sport and I would love to hear if you could think of something More iconic

So what was it again old spices pure sport arm? My dad is a kmart. Let me call him and see if he heard of it No, he said not even he would dame To experience is that rich or stank senior? Look at my eyes. Yeah Let me smell your mouth. Well, my mouth makes it. I just ate some salt and vinegar potato chips You know, I was about to say miliseum imperiale by creed I was about to say this if you can imagine this incredible joke. It's good and then I thought no he does not have

He does not have the money for miliseum imperiale by creed. Did you say by creed by the band creed? No, it's a the well, it's a band and the fur of fragrant house creed. Is it the same people? Yeah, I do a green iris spring. Let's see miliseum imperiale virgin island water A ventis from arms with arms wide open. Did they make iris spring like the soap? No, it smells like this though It's three hundred dollars. Okay. I look at you little man. Yeah Yeah Just I work I work from home. I have worked from home for like 12 years You smell your snow. No, not real. Would you like to?

I don't think Would you like to catch a whiff and think what is this and then know it's me? You When you know, it's not me. It's you. You look in the mirror. You see yourself. Yes Yeah, why you don't want to smell yourself. Do you wear clothes in your little prison? You call a home? Are you Are you one of these COVID guys this would stay home and do the mask Wait, hold on. Wait, hold on. Wait a minute. Wait, wait. Oh, Richard. Are you an anti-masker? Richard?

No, no, no, no Richard what are your political issues? I spray I put a big spray of sauvage by the or in my mask and I just woof it Oh I thought this would be good for you a little man. Yeah, you know, it's a spokesman for this one You got any thoughts about those fouchy emails there, Richard? You know, it's a spokesman for this one first of all, you know, this He's one of your favorite actor Johnny Depp

Exactly is their favorite Johnny Depp. I bet you love him. I mean Sauvage is not for you. No, it's not Not not clubbed in the week. No, that doesn't sound all the way and not Oh Could you handle Do you have any bod Bod

Yeah, this is like axe. Yeah, it's like off-brand axe It's not really aerosolized. It's if you get wet your shirt gets wet when you put it on Bond This is a joke. I for you. Yeah, look at me Mmm Terry Magler. Yeah, I didn't pure malt Cartier Do any of them have a roll-on applicator squid where it has a cologne now? Yeah, that sounds fucking funny. It's eleven dollars. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect

No, no, no, no, no for you. Yeah, look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this It's Invictus For you Invictus by pucker up on sick. It's got a nice you're gonna open this up. You're gonna take a spray What is this? Is this a bubble gum? It is Is bubble gum a huge spray? That's a top note. You got the nice bubble gum You're gonna have a dry down And then it's gonna be more bubble gum. Is it gum right? It's mainly gum like a gum set with some like but is it gum for my mouth gum

No, you don't No, it's body gum. No, it's still there's just gum you rub on your body It's huge the flankers on this thing You're gonna get a lot of different Invictus flankers the bottle looks like a little trophy. Yeah, so cute Is affordable reasonably price. Holy shit. I'm gonna have a lot of questions for justin once richard stancleves You get the 3.4 ounce all the before how much? 3.4 no money all day money richard. How much money richard is a reason. Tell me richard. How much money

He's so reasonable a number richard for intense Invictus intense or regular Invictus which one Intense if i'm which one if i'm gonna go to town. Let's go. I know which one you need It's paco rabon. Yeah, so is that you know this is that good or bad? You know, this is paco rabon money. How much richard it looks like a little trophy 3.4 ounces. That's a lot of sprays It's almost almost all it's almost infinite sprays if you think it's not richard. How much money?

$70 Yeah, I don't think i might do that rich. It's affordable. It's affordable I guess compared to some of the other Cents that you've talked about compared to something by creed the militia imperial $400 500. I mean, I don't wear any of this. What do you wear? I Mean I wear secretions menu. Oh boy

He says smells like this one. It smells like a cheese like a cheese All right, jeez smells like jizz. Okay. Um, I think it's time for richard to go richard. I was like, hey richard Go go go richard. Go go go go richard. Go go. All right. You promised me. No, no, no You don't get an outro richard. You need to go right now richard. You need to go right now richard I didn't think it would go like that And I I'm sorry that I stepped out for so long. I do How did you think it would go and how did you meet this guy and think like at the mall this guy kicks ass and he's funny And I gotta get at them

At the mall at the mall He I noticed he wasn't wearing a mask everybody else was and I was like that's weird and he's like I don't I took it off so I could smell some different things and then I had a bottle of polo club sport In my hand, he smacked it out of my hand and his hand's like Really big like there was the hands are like really big felt bad So I think I was just feeling kind of intimidated and I'll let him be on our podcast and I am sorry about that I'm sorry about richard sink and I'm sorry. Let him be on the show. I think the biggest thing for me is that usually when we do have All richard stink come on the show

We imprison him in the introduction to the show and I feel like having richard stink come in, you know the 30-some odd minutes in Really caught a lot of us by surprise in a sense you could blame the fast food industry for not coming up with new stuff Huh, okay, so the people who are detractors of munch squad need now they know What is behind the curtain? What is behind what what lies behind this veil of ignorance? And that is if munch squad goes away richard stink come to play, you know People like I think this is going to be a divisive moment. Okay

In the in the show's history Because I like guests. Yeah, I think they bring fresh energy. Yeah to the show and a lot of people don't like it That's fine I didn't ask richard if stink was his real name and it led him to the smell game or Was he so into smells that he changed his last name to stink? And I regret not knowing his parents were stink opioids Oh, ain't done. How do you know so much about richard stink? Justin? It was a long drive back from the mall

He starts to take him back there to get his car He's giving me a thumbs up like he's fine here. Oh boy. I'm not crazy about oh boy Uh, all right. Yeah, we're good. He's gotten the hint. He's leaving. But you drove him there. Justin wait I did. I think he's gonna hitchhike. No, he stole my wife's car. God dang it. Oh shoot Happens to the best of us. You guys want to hear another question? Yeah What's wrong? Still thinking about richard stink. I guess

Well, this is the problem, right? You think at first it's not very good and then it I guess he kind of gets I just have a hole in my heart for this is this delightful little little french smell monster This french he's not french. He definitely wasn't french He's not french. What okay? He he seemed to be an amalgamation of several accents Yeah, you're just can I say something that actually now that he's out of the room? Yeah Please don't bring up his walk with christ because it's like did he get angry at you. Did you try to? It's no I did and it was like half the drive

So like please if richard stink ever comes back on the show, please don't bring up his walk with christ. Okay. Thank you so much My mom and I recently attended the wedding of an acquaintance The wedding was for the son of a family friend. So we're not particularly close to them We chose to go the easy route on the gift and give them a card with some cash in it Perfect But now my mom can't seem to remember if she put the money in the card or not. What shit shit Did we accidentally just give them a card as a wedding present? I don't want them to think we're cheapskates. They will our our family already has a bad rep for being late to everything

Yes, we were late to the wedding I don't want another stigma be spurting our good name Should we ask them if we put money in the card or should we just send them another card with money just in case That's from awful wedding guests in awesome man that second one I think would be a big swing and a miss, huh? It would be it's the worst imaginable answer is to send them another card with money in it Because with a little description that you're like here's some more I guess Because there's more or or any the first of it

Um, yeah, this this one seems pretty it's embarrassing But she got to just say like hey, this is embarrassing But my mom didn't remember she put money in the card and I was there money in that card And then but they might fib to get double money But then the guilt is on them and not on you But and they oh, but what if they know what if they're like I think they're testing me and if I say no and they know that they did Oh, it's gonna be uncomfortable no matter. Yeah, but the most the most uncomfortable is you do double card double money That sucks next right behind that is you did not give them any money and you just gave them a great card that says like

Uh, enjoy the cash. Yeah, I hope you don't spend it all in one place Um, can you create a third person? That's neither you nor your mother that you can blame it on Can you create a some kind of bumbling? Uh, you know a Bunbury if you will where you can say like oh, yeah, no, um our Our butler was supposed to put the money in the card and now He can't remember if he did or not and if he didn't I'm gonna fire him right a real a real uncle billy Is what you're talking about. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. It was supposed to go in but now mr. Potter's gonna take a real whole fucking What's the fucking money billy?

Um Yeah, you gotta just say it. This is a tough one, but it's it is I don't you can deal with this Think that you can deal with. Oh, all right Not is it not for jokes. Can we really play out that phone call real quick and you be the okay go ahead? All right, all right Hey, hey, what's up? This is chair and I wanted to say sorry what and I wanted to say that mine You know how we were at the wedding great job great wedding. I loved it and oh, thank you It was really special to have you guys there. I wanted to actually I like how you yelled your I like how you yelled your vows Thanks, I wanted to ask you

But actually you go first do your thing first No, you do your thing first. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I insist Yeah, so my it's so silly, but like I know we gave you a card Yeah, and then inside of it Was try to remember well think about did you get we got a lot we had literally does he's on the phone The third person on this who's that on the phone has to get It always has to if one of us is quiet for too long The fuck out

Um, was there money? Did my mom put money in it? Did I say you could talk to jaren? I don't remember it really. I was just that gift was having you guys. Okay. Okay. That's one option, right? I don't remember second No, there wasn't nothing I remember. Are you still in the phone with jaren try travis, please I'm not travis in this scenario. Justin. Okay. All right. I'm your character's new husband who it turned out as a real lemon Please be quiet husband named travis. Okay So no, no, no, there wasn't any money in it

Fuck Shit, okay, how much do you want? Stop don't laugh how much money do you need? Now wait, hold on just time out griffin first the question was how much do you want and then how much do you need? And I like a second class is a lot better I How much to make all this go away? It was more than enough to have any there. No, it was no stop it

I don't want you to I don't want this to continue to be a thing. How much money do you need? You're not an atc. This is terrible. This doesn't work either. None of no I have 500. I have 500 dollars. You tell me how much feels right for me of that to give to you now Oh, I mean all 500 of it. It was a hard day and it was a hard day Are you still on the phone with jern? I don't like this guy You know he I think I yeah, I don't I think I'm already I think I have bigger worries honestly considering how my husband is shaking out Uh, hey, thanks. Thanks so much for listening

To podcast this one. Yeah our podcast my brother my brother made. Uh, I had a quick, uh thing um, I did a voiceover Narration if you will for a show called bad vibes. It's a podcast made by qcode It's a horror anthology and I got a character named mr. Boogie He's kind of a southern spooky guy and he's kind of scary southern guy And uh, I I don't know it's a really cool series. They got a lot of cool people involved with it

And um, if you would check it out on a podcast listing service all the episodes are out now And uh, you I think you would dig it. So, um, check it out. It's called bad vibes You can get like there's like a trailer or you can I don't know it's free just like just Listen to it. It's cool. It's oh, it's also got like 3d. It's like 3d audio So it's like you hear something from over here and it sounds like it's really loud Listen with headphones as long as we're promoting our shows I do a podcast with my two brothers where people write in and ask questions for advice

Uh, sometimes we have like character bits Sometimes we have these really classic segments where like I come up with Kind of brilliant prompts for my brothers to see if they it's on my brother my brother I mean if you want to check it out, uh, you can it's available on most pod catchers Speaking of we are doing a live show of that podcast. Uh, yes. Oh, yeah On June 25th at 9 p.m. Eastern time those tickets are on sale now It is live and virtual so you can watch it from anywhere tickets are just $10 You go to bit.ly slash mb mb a m virtual to get those tickets

And the good news is even if you that time zone doesn't work for you Or if you miss the show, it will be available on video demand for two weeks So you have plenty of time to see it bit.ly slash mb mb a m virtual Uh, also go check out the merch over at macroemerge.com our pin of the month is an I also want a sword pin with a Huge picture of griffin macroe in there and the proceeds from that benefit Comfortably, it's great picture me. Uh, it benefits the trevor project Which provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for the lgbtq plus Community specifically young people under 25. Uh, we also have a do you hear that babe?

We're legends shirt From the adventure zone balance a portion of those proceeds are also going to benefit to fit the trevor project go check that out Happy pride Go out there have fun now that it's a little bit safer stay hydrated. It's so important folks Uh, and don't forget to pre-order the adventure zone crystal kingdom the next graphic novel in the graphic novel series You can go to the adventure zone comic.com. It comes out july 13th of this very year The pre-order gift from our publisher for second is a kravitz lenticular laptop sticker And you can submit receipts for the pre-order gift at bit.ly slash tas for pre-order

Hey, thanks to montane for the use of our theme song my life is better with you It's a great track and uh, it's got it has a lot of grammy buzz and we are sure appreciative of uh, montane for letting us use that a wonderful song And thanks to max1fun go to max1fun.org check out all the great shows there They got a bunch of stuff that you're just gonna really vibe on and uh, you're gonna really cruise to them And do you want a final yahoo? Yeah, this is a this one's a this is it now wait How am I way is this a real one? This one's actually a real one I went through the through the archives on our gmail

account where people used to send those in I don't see a reason to give that out anymore because This website's not existing anymore, but this is a archived one And it was sent in by corpum. Thank you corpum and it's asked by yahoo answers user chester fielder who asks how much spaghetti is there When How much spaghetti is there when mama makes spaghetti for us?

My name is just a macaron I'm Travis McRae. My name is Griffin McRae. I don't know how many times I can keep doing this This has been my brother my brother me kiss your dad square on the lips It's better with you Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported