My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 571: The Gru of Popsicles

Episode Date: August 2, 2021

It’s spooky season, and by that we mean it’s scarily hot outside. That’s why it’s so important that you pretend to have snow powers, so everyone thinks you’re cool. Warning: Don’t make it obvious that you’re faking.Suggested talking points: Dirtbag Mac and Cheese,  Dark Ice Patron, One million nugs, Mug MafiososSupport AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate For resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better It's better it's better

It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me and my show for the Modrin era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. Hello booze and ghouls and non-boon airy folk I'm your middle this brother Travis where wolf wolf McElroy It's all it's all it's early August chill is in the air No, let Griffin do his so I can ignore yours and this is Griffin and this and this is Griffin McElroy I had a silly dentist thing happen Yellow

I can't I can't there's a chill things are getting We're all already I went to the home good store to buy a picture frame and they had Halloween pillows Okay, so that's it. That means that's the starting gun They had ceramic Humkins it's it's actually gang it is July The 29th as we're required. Yes spooky season When the ghosts come out to play the ghosts won't be out

Traff for three more entire earth months the ghosts are on the beach My local home goods had savitory Ferragamo Uomo fragrance on clearance that don't make it fall. That's obviously out of an autumnal scent, right? Like I don't make it fall. Yeah, but it is spooky season It's absolutely not I got one brother Who is who is turned into a vampire skeleton only bones? Oh, and then I haven't and then I have another brother that's trying to backdoor Richard stinking here in this in this Hello, no, no, no, here's here's what you're fucking with. Yeah, this is why this is why this is what's up Travis

This is why I sampled it This is why I sampled it Richard stink comes out four times a year at the beginning of every season if Travis My brother is telling me that it is the spooky season upon us Richard stink then Richard stink comes out now if he's gonna obey the Gregorian calendar, right of our ancestors, right? Maybe you've heard of it, you know But let's that same that same cook fucking calendar by the way that says that September 13th is summer Listen, it's not your joke. This is like July 29th is spooky season This is lose lose lose lose lose for me

Have you decided on your Halloween costumes? Um What will you be doing to celebrate so when I think we've let enough of this go I need to say something don't let a black cat cross your Vampire skeleton only bones Travis. Can you just hold on for a second so Justin can say a thing It's just like really important. Okay, I Wanted to say if you all were listening to episode 566 of my brother my brother me

You may have heard me talk about some new craft dinner flavor boosts. Oh my god um And I may have said something ill advised at the end of that episode That I would didn't really Think through Briefly, this is this is what I said If you're in Canada, I need you get as much that fucking Jesus you can just ruin my box Ruin my box with Katie. Okay. Hey ruin my box with Katie

Get all that weird Katie and ruin my box So that's what I said and I didn't I kind of forgot I said it until this week when I went to the post office and my friendly post office people were I'll go ahead and say it not thrilled to see How flavor blasted was your box like they saw me and One of the dudes walked out of the room as soon as I walked in and I walked to the other dude And I was like box 54, please. He's like, oh, yeah, he's going to go get it

On site, they know you They had like one of those like don't let this shoplifter in photos on the wall But it was like give this man his cheesy box as quick as you can cheese out of here Then these dudes these dudes start piling up boxes and all of them have that like distinctive Canada post thing and I will admit I did have a fleeting moment where I was like whoa a lot of family this week Yeah, I guess guess the J-man's back. I mean this is a It requires a certain amount of effort to send you macaroni and cheese flavor addition mix-ins that that belies

An amount of fandom that is that is staggering I I also imagine Justin that there were a lot of tariffs on the postage was probably yes high Yeah, so let's talk about that aspect of it for a second. Okay You Canada, I'm just gonna talk to Canada for a second Canada. Can I go? Should we leave? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, no, no you guys can be here and you can listen because I want there to be a witness There needs to be a third world. I can't pass it ours. We have diplomatic immunity exactly you all Sent my ask you to send me all the weird KD, and I was not specific enough. I am sorry about that. You all sent me I

Approximately by my count 83 different packets of are you kidding me? 83 different packets of flavor boosting, but Canada You sent me a hundred and nine boxes of mac and cheese now listen Wow It's the same Mac and cheese well well well well hold on KD and mac and cheese are the same, but you don't know that the consistency that the hundred percent I do How do you know how nobody knows it? But actually Travis? I would say I Justin McRoy at this point in my life him a

uniquely positioned To say that these are the same problem Similarly, I'm saying that what you've got is Canadian cheese dust versus American cheese dust You can't tell me it's the same cheese dust at a molecular level You're an infant tickling yourself with a race you are speaking to the world's preeminent Cheese dust scholar. You don't think I've had cheese dust in my life Travis. You don't think I've flavored blasted at some nudes Travis what he's got three years on you dog You're right. I but I also have been shipped on what I'm saying is I've been shipped a hundred nine boxes of Canadian mac and cheese

And I've eaten enough. Oh wait. It's it's the same You've only had these for about a week Justin. How much have you? Consumed well, I made it. Here's the thing though. This this is not going to waste I should say before the horrors of this become too. I am we are sending Round a hundred boxes of craft dinner to the to Harmony house They're gonna think you're an extreme couponer. Well, the people who are experiencing homelessness currently Want to flavor bastard KD. Yeah, that is up to them. They will get some packets No doubt so the food will not go to waste. I did make a couple of these to go ahead and sample them

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, there's only one that I'm curious about Is it the cotton candy? It is the cotton candy because I bet can I say I bet it fucks I bet it slams doesn't I think it fucks We've had some different reactions, oh no, I guess I Bet Charlie loves it. I bet Sidney wanted to vomit Okay, so you're one for one one for two. Oh Keep going Cooper loved it. Uh-huh, and you loved it. Yeah, and Sidney loved it. Yeah, but it's great

It's great. It's a differing opinion. Wait. I'm confused. It's great So what I'll bring a brain. I'll bring a vacation travel. Let's try I'll let's try is it works in the same way as like Don't think of it as cotton candy and cheese because neither of those things are present. Yeah, our present It's a new flavor in your ear. Well, I like I like a cheese and strawberry like Danish now. Yeah, think of it more like I Mean the flavor of as our Canadian friends call it Papa's beard the flavor of Papa's beard is not very they call it, huh? Yeah, they call it Papa's that's what they call cotton candy Papa's beer because it's like oh because it's like God's beard because it's all wispy like a cloud Yeah, or like our nines beard. So it works on the same level of like cheese and caramel popcorn

You know, okay that idea if you can wrap your brain around that idea It's sort of like that or like a cheese and apple pie that I learned about from pushing daisies The only one that I know that only John Joy didn't like it The fifth member of your family is where the differing opinion came in I'm sorry I forgot about your son John Joy grown adult man who I believe is older than you John Joy is a fellow West Virginia podcaster host of Professor Theos mystery lab if you have kids you you're gonna love these stories, but he's a he's a hater of this great He took one bite and I this is his entire reaction No

I That's good. That's good. That's just your view going to it with an open mind. That's the real class. I think I think well Yeah, that's hard to tell like the ghost pepper is too much. Extremely spicy. Yeah, it's not a joke Ghost pepper is the threat. There's like three other spicy and like spicy with mac and cheese It's like pretty good even the butter chicken have like a nice amount of that sounds good to me The one that was rough was booting really like It tastes so much like gravy. Yeah

that the the The the fleet like it was just felt kind of like a chunky a style gravy, okay now I do use I Use the the the mac and cheese this you guys know about how to make I call it dirt bad mac and cheese But like you guys know about this, right? I can't say that I do Okay, so the good way to me. I'm gonna tell you this give me one second Do you have to go are you googling a macaroni I have it is not it is not it is not my recipe Okay, it's God's recipe. No, it's just through Justin Justin's the conduit

It's not my recipe. Okay So I need a second. Oh, can I guess who's it is? Is it guy Fieri? No, it's not guy Fieri. Well when it's called dirt bag so that he has trash can nachos. I call it dirt bag Oh, okay, cuz I think it's funny It would be different if guy Fieri called him dirt bag nachos these are dirt bag nachos for dirt bags eat it out of a trash can Raccoon, okay, this method is actually by a guy named Brian Floyd. Thank you, Brian Thank you, Brian and we should point out that it took Justin about seven minutes to find this to find it Well, it's hard to get it's hard to google once you learn this method

You never need to refer to it again cuz it's so fucking easy, but you did you don't listen listen You dump in to a saucepan the Mac The cheese yeah a cup of water a cup of milk some butter and then you just cook on medium till done Why is that dirt? Why is that dirty better? faster More delicious instead of boiling a little bit of al dente in there Yep, you've been wasting your time with your six cups of water You're straining you're at all of it is a waste of time

You dump it on the pan at once and then you wait a few minutes and mac and cheese now Justin I will say that this sounds like a great method and I don't want to belittle dr. Floyd's work, but I know When you call something dirt bag I thought you're gonna like crush up some Doritos in there make it with Mountain Dew or some shit Like we're from West Virginia. You can't say dirt bag and I'm supposed to think it just means a little bit lazy or simple They put milk in it. Also. That's yeah. Yeah, it's great And but then also you have to put the cotton candy juices in it. Yep. Yep. Now Do you think that you could just like make some artisan old cotton can't where you actually like go to the state fair

Get some cotton candy. Put that bad boy right in there. Yeah, maybe. Oh, I didn't even ask Is there a color element to the cotton candy mix? Oh bud, but are you kidding me? It's a It's a Let me see what color mall. It looks like it looks like Kirby's it's small. It's Kirby's it looks like Kirby's Fucking it looks like Kirby's balls. It's criss wild. Yeah, it looks like Kirby's balls Huh. Yeah The anyway as you certainly gather, this is an advice show where we take your questions and turn them out to be like into wisdom And here we go an aspect of my job involves collecting groundwater samples, which need to be kept on ice

Cool. I usually buy ice a few times a month from gas stations liquor stores, etc At the end of each month I submit an expense report with receipts for the ice to collect my cash the other week It was incredibly hot, but when I went to a nearby gas station to buy ice I walked past the ice cream chest and grabbed a minion popsicle nice normally I would buy personal items separately, but the line was long and I panicked Is it acceptable for me to submit the receipt with the minion popsicle on it? Jesus Christ my out to 49. Damn it Fuck if it had been any other thing that's for a way

That's from minion popsicle debacle if it had been like a if it had been like Like it's some kind of the drink any kind of drink a pack of lifesavers if it had been anything but fucking the auditor scanning your receipts Sees minion popsicle in all bold and you can't say I need it twisted I needed it. Yeah, you can how if they question you want it and they will what you say will they will They were out of ice. I needed anything else frozen So to preserve these scientific samples you jammed there was like one Little bit of space with no ice and you had to just slide a popsicle right in there

They'll never prove otherwise, uh-huh, but then they can trap you like oh well How did it taste seemed like it was a minion popsicle dude. It was delicious, and they'd be like yeah Dammit tastes like banana Honestly ironically maybe on purpose tastes like banana. It was great Maybe you could say like well here's the weird thing they wouldn't sell me the ice unless I bought the popsicle It was a Yeah, it was a bio bio ice get popsicle free thing not according to this receipt those motherfucking got me This is hey, Joan. This is how they get you right. All right, Joan pal. Oh, man

Cuz we're in this thing together. That's how they know what's calling the police today, right Joan pound it Hey, Joan, can you pound it real quick? None of us have to go to we're not going to debtors prison When you go to Joan to get reimbursed Joan's gonna look at the receipt like I don't know and then you're gonna pull out a second minion popsicle and say Do you want to get your beat wet Joan? We can make this work you and me we're in this together minion popsicles as much as we want I Never ate that minion popsicle. Oh, yeah, Joan And then you just dump the popsicle part in the trash and throw the stick at or prove it

Yeah, I got a text message here Joan that looks like you told me to buy the popsicle for you. What that's from your dad Yeah, that's what I call you Joan and you how could you bring your dad into it? How could you do this you you made my dad an accessory to your investment? How could you Joan? There's not a job on This planet and I'm including this job if you if any Like self-respecting human being can call what we do that where If things aren't at least a little bit shitty enough for you to feel okay about stealing a popsicle from from the man

You know what I mean? Yeah, I love this work working with YouTube boys And I know we got to balance those books because we're family and you don't fuck around with that But if I do have the opportunity to steal a minions popsicle from our bottom dime I'm going I will I would do it even though I love it. Can I say something if I find out that you've been Getting minion popsicles on our dime. Yeah, I'm afraid of you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry So sorry Griffin juice has the freight of a flavor boost for the KD dinner I haven't tried that one yet It doesn't exist. I'm afraid of baggins here

Charlie's obsessed with watching this dude on YouTube. His whole thing is perfect popsicles He makes those around buy it up all the minion popsicles and all the spongebob popsicles He's trying to find perfect ones that actually look like the packaging. So it is his maybe you could be like I was It was a collab On it being a cult like you wanted to get in the tank. Oh, here's what you say, Joan There was a hot bird outside the bird was overheated Okay, that bird. Oh, I was looking at me. I came back out and I had a little water bottle and it went And I and I was like what can I have to buy a million popsicle, Joan? Give me cold. Give me minion

You get the scare I think you have to report this Because the bat the worst case scenario is no one notices. Yeah, and then the next time you're at the store You think well, maybe I'd love to menu I guess and then and then you think you know, maybe I'd like Three million pops but a bing-ba boom fast forward six months. You're getting eight million popsicles Yeah, you know, and you're throwing half of them away. Do you just want to feel who knows where this stops 10? No No, man, not until you're fully like the groove of popsicles popsicles

A full blown mini ice cream Come on, man Come on. Here's what you do you throw yourself with the mercy of the court, right? You go to the highest boss you can find you fall on your knees you chair your shirt You cry you pull your hair out and you confess in as dramatic terms as you can and you beg for forgiveness And I guarantee you the next eight times They're not gonna check your receipts. No way No, you can put anything on there. They don't want you to apologize to them anymore. It was really uncomfortable. Oh, yeah

I'm becoming more and more Dead set on you just looking them in the eyes and saying it's different ice. Yeah, it's just different way better ice really It's it's boutique. I got some artisanal ice for this gross-ass water. I had to get from the mud Excuse me because I thought that I could you said buy ice and this is ice It's part of my job is going to a liquor store. I bought a minion popsicle Are you gonna judge me for the minion popsicle? Do you know how much worse this could be? I could have bought 18 bottles of boons farm and I bought a minion a two dollar and 40 Jeff Bezos flew to outer space and I bought a 249 popsicle and you're gonna get mad at me Joan

What is this? Be honest about it and but don't be but don't be embarrassed. No Just be honest, but not chagrined. Oh, yeah. Oh a sick kid wanted it. That's another good Yeah, that's always a great one that feels good to do it and joke about it Hey, can we approach the wizard humbly and set our and supplicate ourselves before his thread? I do I have a request I was hoping to get some courage No What about can I interest you in some snow power?

Um, how about hubris? No snow. You already have that Graham Robux sent this one in. Thank you, Graham This one was just updated June 1st of this year. So it's like, you know, it's gonna mention COVID probably It's called how to appear to have snow power. Oh Hey Snow power is a form of magic a character who lives in snow encased environments might have such as Elsa from frozen name one more Name one name another if you're doing a fancy ice king from ice ice man ice king from adventure time Okay, does ice man from the X-Men live in a magical snow case environment? Nobody is an Omega level mutant. I would say that this is like more

It's like less impressive if you live in a snow environment and you know, and to be fair wiki wizard Elsa didn't live in a snow encased environment. It was summer Yeah, she used her snow powers to create the eternal blizzard. Come on So here's how to convince people that you have that you have snow powers That's a gift. I think everybody gets it One where gloves that have foe snow on them. That's easy glitter small cotton ball puffs. I like that Convincing though, I mean, I don't want to be it's not the only fucking thing you do Travis. Give me a minute

You can get black gloves for a dollar with snow already on them from dollar stores. What I didn't know that they did there Cuz the best country in the world is the best you can get everything. We're all blue and white. Yeah, that's ice and snow colors Yeah, you can't do like orange or red or whatever Also, when you make it snow wearing a long sash on your sleeves will give it a great effect if the sashes have glitter even better Love yeah, yeah, or a simple necklace with a sophisticated charm Maybe a jeweled snowflake with a simple white beads would be nice. Yeah pretty sophisticated. I would say that I don't know that's a sophisticated. Okay. Anyway, this is where it gets really hot about which I mean cold showing your snow powers part Yes, yes one act apart trying to make somebody curious enough to watch you not sure what that means

Who said that me poof If you were walking around a park say with your kid and You saw somebody stride forward Wearing blue and white with black gloves with glitter on them and some like flowing things and they began to kind of sway and swirl their arms You'd stop. Yeah. Look. Yeah These next two sentences are so good Oh

First of all, it said use white glitter or similar items to make it seem like snow It might seem odd, but you could always play Christmas music to set the tone if you wish You just do glitter on my fucking Taco Bell. I was gonna eat this. I did snow on it So these two sentences if using real snow, this is best done during winter time to make it more believable The snow would melt in summer. Excellent. That's excellent stuff This one's dope because I don't know what the fuck it means When you're at your secret place Start to play around in the snow with your bare hands if you can bear it and throw it in the air

Do this for a few times then look at your hands smile and get ready to do your trick. Oh my fuck It's got to be winter time because if you try to do this in summer people will be like Excuse me. It's the hot season and that's snow. I don't think so Bearish yourself, but more importantly, you got to be in your secret place or you're practicing this. Yeah, okay I Imagine on that those two sense that that sense about a secret place Yeah, referring only and especially to Superman in the portraits of Sally. Yes, exactly

Make the snow appear to quote come out of your hands if you have very large sleeves you can try this neat trick Get two small fans and secretly put them down your sleeves get some of the faux snow and put it on top of the fans turn on The fan secretly and open your hands wide so that goes through your fingers and appears to come out of your hands But hey, if you can't get the fans, don't worry Just stuff some of the fake snow in your sleeves and twirl around with your sleeves down causing the snow to slip out of your sleeves But this is not recommended because you'll look like you're dripping wet afterwards Slip snow out of your sleeves and moderation, but practice this for a few times before the real deal in a private place Your secret and your secret your secret place practice shoving

White cotton that looks like snow up your sleeves and then just because you're not getting two fans up your sleeves That's fucking ridiculous So you're gonna do the other way where you just let it kind of impotently Giz out of your of your arms to the floor and people like did you just do snow power and you say I Don't I don't know Stupid this is supposed to be my secret. Oh, you know why I chose this fire Firepower and there's a lot of things you can blame on fire Oh, but keep up the act while you're making snow always look like you're enjoying yourself laugh a lot and twirl around

now Alternatively though you could scream and horror at your own power that now you wheeled without any kind of responsibility or understanding Yeah, that is how I think it would really work in real life if I suddenly started shooting like snow and ice out of my hands I don't think I'd be like we I think I'd be like oh No, I can see that it's the first time it's ever happened to you though Yeah, if you're convincing anyone you're convincing yourself True that's the first step if you're pretending to hide your snow powers Do the following after you run out of snow toss the snow on the ground in the air them seem to notice the person start to look worried

Run up to the person and beg please don't tell anyone and you're done. Oh You're not quite done though because step four is try this out on your friends before doing it at a fancy dresser cosplay event Can I got it? Can I ask you guys something that's really please kind of twisting my little trap? Yeah What would someone have to do to display ice or snow powers to you to me make you believe That they actually had ice or snow powers and weren't just faking it Then I worry that if we found out magic was real or if magic was real in this world, right? Right, you would all be so skeptical that no level of Something would allow us to believe it was real. What would someone have to demonstrate for you to believe?

if the air around This this sorcerer this warlock Which was called also as she is a warlock with yeah, absolutely the dark-eyes patron Yeah, yeah, and we go with the treasure if the it might be Satan if The air around them became superheated as they did this Does sort of Fulfilling the law of thermodynamics then I might buy into this shit, but if somebody just starts throwing snow around I'll be like, uh, where did the heat go? You know what I mean?

Cuz I'm I got like really I got like a scientist way of looking at things sometimes Oh, I always actually like that about you. Yeah, I love that too. Very analytical Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I might have sciences so good questions on this one But I want to just drill down this one. The weird thing is is that if somebody Had the ability to make snow, but it only dribbled impotently from their sleeves But that was how the power worked and it was actually magic. I would never believe them and I was terrible No, right. They'd be like look what I can do. I'm like that's just fucking you have some snow stuff up your sleeve like no You don't understand. This is just how it works

I think some effort would actually make me believe a bit more if the snow just impotently dribbled out of their their sleeve and they were Going like And I'd be like whoa damn you're working really hard to make that snow. That's crazy. You look really dehydrated. Are you okay? Yeah, I mean that water's got to come from somewhere. Okay. I want to drill down on this question Okay, how do I make it look like I've got more snow power? Oh boy This is always the fear isn't it? I mean, this is the danger that you run do something else. What? Oh, man, the community answered try to keep some with you at all times and while the person isn't looking put more in your Sleeves to make it look like you have

unlimited power Or 27 27 people found that helpful 60 people found that not helpful Just just loudly announced now look at my snow pockets and just start pulling snow out of your pockets This is some snow that I made earlier with magic Snow problem for me That's the crowd clapping at that pun. Yeah, it was good You know what? I think I think we've earned a trip to the buddy already for that Yeah, just with that hold on before wait

I got a step on the brakes for a second because there's a warning at the bottom of here I've never seen a warning on a wiki how article before and this is important I want to cover us legally but with this by reciting this warning Don't make it obvious that you're faking be sure to use good acting skills Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, this is the kind wiki how the ear hits me because now I have to go read what about good I know damn it. That's what walking Phoenix did. That's it when he got pooped on by his buddy when he when he really became the snoker That's okay. We can go to the money's on that. Yeah We're sponsored in part this week by square space stand out with a beautiful website from square space

I I'm gonna read it word for word, but I'm gonna deliver it like you're delivering it to a friend who like the advice is so obvious You're so mad that they haven't figured it out themselves Square space can help you create a beautiful website to showcase your work or Sell products and services of all kinds dump him Promote your physical online business Don't need him anymore What square space gives you beautiful customizable templates created by world-class designers and you're too good for him He doesn't appreciate you. Yeah, everything is optimized from mobile right out of the box

He's a deadbeat. He hasn't worked in three years analytics that help you grow in real time Free and secure hosting now Let's party because there's nothing to patch or upgrade ever so go to square space comm slash My brother for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use the offer code My brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain Now, let's go to slippery Joe's for some shots and we're gonna rebound Okay That's word for word. That's all in the copy and it makes me wonder if like somebody at square space is

Like going through some like a little rail and that's that's you know what I'm glad we could be here for them Hang in there. Yeah This is stitch fix they send you a box full of clothes and the clothes is gonna look good and it's gonna fit good Pants is one of the things that they have in the box sometimes Jacket Shoes, you know belt. Yeah, I got a tie Yeah, fucking ties and you don't need to go to the store to buy them and you try the tie on and they're like That tie on your neck and then you get fucking sad and and you run out of them all

Hey, and yours and you get hit by a car in the parking lot. Oh, no Little because you got made fun of for the tie not fitting the size of your neck No way stitch fixes here to fix that Don't ever get hit by a truck in the mall parking lot again because they hand select these clothes for you by expert stylist based on your unique Sties sties sties Size got a unique sty No one's ever been able to find the perfect fit size style and budget and you get to try on the pieces at home before you Buy me keep your favorites to send back the rest you say fly back little birds

You're not ready for me and you pay a $20 styling fee for each box Which gets credited towards the pieces that you keep there's no hidden fees no subscription It's it's easy peasy get started today at stitch fix comm slash my brother and you'll get 25% off when you keep everything in your fix at stitch fix comm slash my brother for 25% off when you keep everything in your fix Stitch fix comm slash my brother Hi, I'm Annabelle Gerrich and I'm Laura house and we're the hosts of tiny victories my tiny victory is that I sewed that button back on The day after it broke we talk about that little thing that you did that's a big deal to you

But nobody else cares. Did you get that Guggenheim genius award? We don't want to hear from you We want little tiny victories my tiny victory is a tattoo that I've added on to this last weekend Let's talk about it. My victory is that I'm one year cancer free But my tiny victory is that I took all of the cushions off the couch Pounded them out put them back and it looks so great So if you're like us and you want to celebrate the tiny achievements of ordinary people listen to tiny victories It's on every Monday on Maximum Fun I

Squad Bum bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, I want to munch! Scott! Bum bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! Got a Michael Giacchino vibe here, and I'm taking it. Yeah I love it.

No, listen, this is a most important munch squad that I've ever done. Gee plus, I wanna, you know how, before Walter Cronkite, you remember when he was about to watch them open the moon door, and he was thinking I gotta say fuckin' something.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? He said like everybody shut up everybody shut up watch this shut this fucking listen to the moot I Also wonder like if he was wondering if the moon guy was gonna say something cuz he didn't want to talk over I know what I mean embarrassing. This is the this is like that moment pop-bys launches nuggets

Calls for ceasefire You're in the chicken wars. Oh my god Let's listen before we comment on this and get too deep into it. Let's just listen to the this is what they're going with Remember what happened when we watched the chicken sandwich But now we're ending the chicken So What they're saying is We know we walked into a room and

Kicked over the trash can and then left the room and then came back later And we're like you guys are you guys nobody clean this up yet, but now we're saying the chicken wars Have ended I I will say this is I mean this might surprise some of you But I don't know a lot about war and how it works and stuff Yeah, but can you be like can you start the war and then it's like and now it's done and back what I Fine can't no Travis. You can't you can't do that You know you can't just say We did a war

But now we're tired of the war because we're doing a different things I mean, I have I played risk enough that I don't think you could you can't invade some countries on risk and they're back Okay, I'm done now so don't like come back at me. Okay The launch of our chicken sandwich was incredible Yeah, and we're humbled by the amount of love and positive reviews But at the same time many claim that it started the chicken wars Said CMO Bruno card Denali in a statement Now it's time to say goodbye to the chicken wars and celebrate our new nuggets because we come in peace

Eight piece to beat. Sorry to prove. It's serious about ending the chicken wars The Popeyes Foundation a were killed to everyone we killed The Popeyes Foundation Purchased the cash equivalent of one million nuggets from Popeyes restaurants as well as competing brands McDonald's Wendy's Chick-fil-A and burgers King the Foundation will donate the funds to Second Harvest Food Bank of Greater New Orleans and Customers may visit the Popeyes Foundation website to donate and Popeyes will match the contributions of up to $25,000. Well, that's what they're saying here and it's very tough to parse. But my understanding is That they bought a million chicken nuggets and took them to a shelter. Is that what happened here?

Could you read it again? Because it doesn't sound like it's really like hard to follow The Popeyes Foundation purchased the cash equivalent of one million. You can't do how is that money? You bought money of nugs. What are you talking about because the video they have to accomplish a company this just shows a single Popeyes employee going like door-to-door at McDonald's and Wendy's and all these other places just like I'd like to buy all the chicken Nuggets you have because we're we're the we're the some reason I don't know. I'll think of it Like I understand. I think that they're saying the Popeyes Foundation is donating the equivalent But to say we purchased the cash equivalent of kids of it's on What could that mean? I mean, what are they saying?

They bought the cash equivalent of a million nuggets in nuggets at different stores and then donated the money. What are you saying? Our hope is that today guests who finally try our new chicken nuggets will say to themselves Popeyes did it again started another war A cuter war we would like to call for a ceasefire by invading a different country now The cut Bruno continued. This is I think where things really start the rails those two things together The product quality and the strong marketing campaign he's referring to here those two things together They're really the recipe for the success of our brand and I'm very confident

We have those two ingredients here at this time with the nuggets the product tastes amazing Oh, good the campaign. I think it's very very timely very relevant it speaks to a cultural moment an iconic Moment that happened in America two years ago We're tapping into that cultural moment and really delivering something that is relevant Oh, that is unique to Popeyes and really puts Popeyes in the center of the conversation Hey, the war is over guys. We're bigger than this

But Popeyes did it and we're in the middle of it and we did it and it's us and the war And we'll do it again. I'll agree the war's over and we fucking won baby We have annexed cluckers we have annexed cluckers all cluckers are now Popeyes. Oh My god the the gall the absolute wild thing about this though is That in like the late 80s there were pizza wars which was like an iconic thing, right? Yeah, and it feels like they want that again and It could be and I don't fucking know anymore. I don't know anymore. Can I can I talk about something else?

Yeah, this is unrelated, but I did want to mention it Long John Silver's has partnered with gathered foods to debut Plant-based seafood, huh? Okay, and the ad for this. There's an iconic ad There's an ad for it and it just says plant-based seafood is now a thing awesome Good, that's about as much earnestness as I want behind this announcement Customers will be able to choose from two Long John Silver's classic menu items now with a plant-based twist Good catch crab-free cakes, which I would are you most cakes are yes But not but not all cakes

Not all cakes are packed with 15 grams of plant-based protein per serving and features lump crab meat tastes Okay, listen what it literally says it features lump crab meat tastes and texture Complimented with sweet peppers green onions parsley and a kick of spice If a fillet is which are after good catch fish free fillets are crispy breaded tender flaggy whitefish texture You're looking for are they skipping every third word in this announcement? Our mission is to make the unique seafood experience from the coasts available to all says Christopher Caldwell So we're mushing up a bunch of beans I guess

We're mushing up a bunch of beans and frying them because our mission is to bring seafood to the planet We believe plant-based of seafood furthers that mission by making long John Silver's accessible to guests who are hungry for more plant-based protein option It's also a great addition for fans of our classic Sustainably sourced wild caught fish who are curious about a new take on their seafood favorites We're excited to set sales good catch on this test I'm really curious and listeners if you could tweet with the hashtag in BMB AM after this epic So it goes out if you're vegan or vegetarian We're I mean, maybe you just don't eat fish for sustainability or whatever reasons

How many of you have been longing to go to long John Silver's? But there just weren't I wish oh if only I could but there's no option You just think about you just think about the fact that they'll sell you a container of lard castoffs for 75 cents Crunchy lard castles. I could get those crunches, but I can't how many of you want to get say like hear this news Crunchy's have been vegan this whole time. I bet man I have how many of you hear this news and like before we even finished talking about it There was just like a u-shaped puff of dust as you ran to your car, right?

But a u-shaped puff of dust as you ran to your car and then turn back around and ran the other way away from your car Creating the you that is the u-shaped puff of dust that you have left. Oh, yeah, they're committed. They're in five restaurant Yeah, five different long John Silver's that's have these how you do it. They're in California Yeah, so they're bringing the the seafood a coastal experience to get right. Thank God Thank you that bean fish in the bread basket. You know what I mean like where we you know where we need it. I would And I'm not saying that this is true of every button, but there's someone in

The bread bass I say this living in Ohio that would walk up to the counter say like I'll have the crab cakes and they'd be like Do you want crab in that or not and they'd be like what the fuck are you talking about? I just want to see that play out. I just said crab. I want that. What about crab free cakes? You mean cake? No, I said I want the crab cakes. Yeah, but with or without a crab Fuck off You know what makes me so mad about this this fucking stupid segment. I Would fucking annihilate some plant-based chicken fish nuggets. Why not? I'd annihilate him so hungry for it now thinking about that great whitefish texture. We love that. I

Love that here flaky My partner and I have a habit of stealing interesting coffee mugs Especially from people we dislike our crown jewel is a church mug. We stole from a landlord who took our deposit unnecessarily A friend recently asked how we got so many weird mugs. How do we explain without seeming like petty kleptomaniacs? This is from mysterious mug mafiosos in Maryland And I have bad news you steal all the time You steal all the time for not great reasons. Yeah Yeah, I yeah

They got you. I think this is a if you can't stand in your truth for this and be like Oh, we stole these because it's funny They're still as it gives us a little modem modicum of control back, right? We feel yeah, they took something from us. So we took something from them We know it's not great, but it's a thing that two of us do together and we like we like it It doesn't hurt anybody except the person who we've stolen from Are you guys at this point with your mugs where it is a one-in-one-out policy? It's had to become that. Yes It's become that at our house. We have now two drawers

filled with coffee mugs a good drawer And a bad this is okay bad for our bugs We don't like but can't get rid of and then the good drawer the mugs We actually what I was going to say because I god help me I have two shelves in a cabinet and one shelf is full of mugs We use and the other one are just in case mugs I got like in case I open a coffee shop Suddenly in case a bunch of people come over in the morning. They're like oh, yeah

Oh, I suddenly had that corporate retreat in my house I got 40 people here from the local bank who decided to have a trust-building exercise in my living room And I have to provide a cappuccinos for everybody Here's my thing also. These aren't even mugs. I use I haven't used a regular coffee mug for 10 years I have two mugs that I use on alternating days. I only use trap trap listen this I don't use travel mugs even though I work out of the house I only use travel mugs and that way my coffee is safe hot fresh. Oh Yeah, but then you have no rush to drink. Do you do the same damn thing Griffin?

I love when it gets to be 2 p.m. I'm like It's a little hot. I'm drinking one right now, and it's the man Contigo auto Target and it's hey cheers, bud. Oh, he hit the microphone with his cup. Oh Boy, okay. I just have a big mug with West Virginia on it But it's if it looks like and I am wearing overalls right now I feel like like a school art teacher With this big mug and it's kind of spotty. I feel like stoneware. I love it Contigo auto seal is it stoneware have no is it stone?

The Contigo auto seal has a valve that you press a button that allows the free flow of awesome This valve is spring-loaded this valve If you press a little release on the lid will flip up so you can clean underneath it. I discovered this far too You have wretched mugs I'm drinking I like the open mug with no litter or Thermal properties because then it encourages me to drain it to join it. Yeah, I love that My mug is as it's the brand of it is Zach with an exclamation. Oh, I love a sack stuff I have a big exact cup that I use for all my ice and beverages, but it's weird because it looks like

It's like not mine It's like a Zach and I'm like damn it. No, it's can I still drink it though? I feel like we gave dad too hard of time for talking so much about drink where? Yeah, yes, we didn't know how good that I love service to learn to learn about drink where from a man Like a real man drink all kinds of different drinks. Yeah. Yeah, I'm out of lots of different cups He would talk to us about Turvis and like we just kind of ignore him and now I'm like won't someone talk to me about Service daddy daddy. Hey, I was sent a mug by a fan That had like a panther on it and it said in big black letters

I'm Be nice to me. I have diarrhea on it And I would say Six weeks later. I Was sent a mug by a fan that also had a panther on it that said be nice to me I have diarrhea on it and it was the same mug and so two different people Saw that and said that reminds me of Griffin so much. I'm going to spend you know 1999 plus Shipping or whatever to make sure he has it so I do have two of those on sometimes

You only know one thing about a person and it's like oh, they love unicorns or whatever So you're gonna be everything the one thing people know about Griffin is he gets diarrhea a lot not a lot I haven't had it in a long time. All right. In fact Travis. I know for a fact. You've had diarrhea more recently than me Yes, but not as often statistically speaking days out of our lives It's been I have not in 2021. I haven't had it At all it's not at all because you haven't been exposed to the to the harsh true And this and this is this is the truth, isn't it? It's not my fault That I get the world Griffin doesn't have diarrhea

Diarrhea gives it to me when I'm not what I got a mask up Fauci's like it's cool Or is it it's not and I'm like, I don't care I'm gonna do it because the world's got diarrhea, bud But if you stay in your home world's got diarrhea Yeah As long as you stay in your hermetically sealed home, no diarrhea can get to you exactly and also no chicken wings No chicken wings guys. I still I'm reeling like everything we've said after finding out the chicken sandwich wars are over Like I've got two sons and knowing that they're not gonna be drafted

They're not gonna be conscripted You know what I mean, they're not gonna have to go overseas That means the world to me Yeah, but now they're gonna have to they'll have to take up arms in the plant-based Seafood it's gonna be a lot chiller though. That's gonna be a lot of mostly like like there's gonna be a lot of computer warfare there There's a lot of cyber one. Yeah, exactly at the end This restaurant is by the way and said and with the plant-based seafood industry expected to grow to a staggering 1.3 billion in the next 10 years long John Silver said good catch on the leading edge of a long-term movement

I you know what I gotta say if you're gonna open up five restaurants I don't know we're gonna get there if long John Silver's only has a fucking hat over the ring. Yeah, let's go launch it in Every restaurant even ones you don't own make a little kiosk where they can get it My favorite fish place is this little The wall called the outside Charles, yeah, which is West Virginia inside inside an old chart It's hey, if you want the real catch, you know The real catch is it like a VIP lounge inside it like is it how do you get into it? Yeah, it's just it's kitchen bun. Hey listen. Thanks so much for

listening to our program. We hope you've had a Fun time. I'll say it a fun time. It's brave. We got a new we got some new merch at macro merch calm Travis you guys very excited because the pin of the month for August is work of fart The proceeds of which will be benefiting one tree planted which is dedicated to making it easier for individuals and businesses to give back to the environment Create a healthier climate protect biodiversity and help reforestation efforts around the world Plus you'll get a pin that says work of fart on it. Who the fuck doesn't want that? Also, very excited. We will be and when I say we basically mean like all the Macroys are coming to Emerald City Comic Con That's December 2nd through 5th

all seven of us that's Griffin Rachel Justin Sydney Travis Teresa and Clint will all be there. So keep an eye out There's more info coming soon about panels signings photo ops and stuff also Teresa speaking of Teresa and I are going to be a Dragon Con this year We're excited to see everybody there We have the adventures on game if you haven't played it yet to gather studios is celebrating a safe return to the game table this summer with local retailer events giveaways and live streams Taz gameplay streams every Tuesday evening at 8 p.m. Eastern Time at twitch.tv Slash to gather that's TWO to gather studios hosted by at no medic

you can follow at together studio on Twitter for weekly giveaways of swag from them and our publishers for a second speaking of which the adventure zone graphic novel Crystal Kingdom is out now That's the first four in the series are all out now if you haven't gotten them go do so at a bookstore Or you can go to the adventure zone comic calm As long as I'm saying links I stream on twitch and it's pretty fun twitch.tv slash the Travis McRoy Thank you to Montaigne for this for a theme song. My life is better with you It's close. It's close. So I can say it's cool. Oh, I think we're saying I was close to getting the name of the song

Right. No, no, no, it's close. It's I'm saying it's coming This shadow of it has been cast over all the major term metropolitan areas of the country And that's all we're gonna say about it. You don't want to find a yahoo? Yeah, yeah real one this time. Yeah, this one's sitting by Ricky It says here thick Ricky sent this one in. Thanks. Thank you. Oh, yeah, and it's asked by yahoo answers user It's asked by yahoo answers user Papa John It says Papa John It's weird Papa John Schlatter said it's asked this and he said

What happens I My brother my brother make you shed scarlet lips Oh It's better it's better It's better it's better You Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported