My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 574: My Burger My Burger and Me

Episode Date: August 23, 2021

Hey, Guy Fieri, we have a food business idea. We can’t tell you the exact details right now, but trust us it’s amazing. It involves memes. All you have to do is sign this exclusive contract. Suggested talking points: The Spice is Nice, Bathtub Speedboat, There’s Lots of Stuff You Can Eat, Omni-directional hoof action, Brown TownSupport AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate For resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up you cool, baby? Precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better with you

It's better it's better with you It's better it's better with you Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother mean advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy and me well I'm your middle-est brother big dog wolf wolf Travis wolf wolf McElroy wolf wolf That was I'm Griffin McElroy. That's a lot of business I couldn't remember where the wolf wolf's where if I'm being asked. Yeah, I just throw them in between every word Yeah, I do it better say sorry. Hey guys guys. Yep. Yeah guys. Did you hear about the spice?

The spice is nice this this all what I was good. It must flow is I don't think at any point in doing do they say spice is nice Nice is nice give me that spice on some shaved ice cuz it's nice I am spice is nice y'all y'all have expressed interest in doing a dune-based Introduction, yes, I must warn you that of my knowledge of the works Are not comprehensive and so I might be able to hop in there from time to time and be like those big worms I bet there's people on the internet Who that makes

horny of them Which is like about the depths that I will be able to plumb with it all those big worms You know, there's some people to see those and get horny off of them. Here's what I just wanted to say about this one now I my sort of Expertise in dune is that I read the first quarter of the first book Yeah, and said this isn't for me boring this spike didn't say boring. I didn't fucking say That's a weird that's a boring bad thing a lot of people really love doing

The director of the movie Dennis villain you Which is like already a little delectable. Yeah, you know what I mean? He said He's basically really mad that they're gonna put dune on TV Oh, yeah when it's also going the movies and I feel like this is a debate that we have not gotten away in on Yes, wait in on this. Thank you. Well, let me Dennis Dennis. I hear you and he doesn't want Dennis doesn't want you to watch dune on TV. If you show he says it's not just a product. It's church, right? I don't go to church either Dennis Movie more than I go to church Dennis Dennis maybe churches the movies, you know, it's not church

It's movies. He wrote this is what he said to Variety He wrote an open letter about how dunes on TV and he said that AT&T Hijacked one of the most respectable and important studios in film history There's absolutely no love for cinema nor the audience the what he said watching a Film on a TV screen is of lesser value. He said the way it happened. I'm still not happy frankly Frankly, so I wasn't angry though frankly to watch dune on a television The best way I can compare it is to drive a speedboat in your bathtub. Whoa, that's awesome That's Dennis don't make it sound so good. That sounds awesome Dennis

Dennis the problem with your metaphor there are similarly is that a speedboat in your bathtub would not scale unless You're talking about a stewart-little-esque situation Yes, the bathtub is scaled down to the bathtub and I'm stewart-little-sized because when I put dune on TV It's not gonna be like super zoomed in on Oscar Isaac's nose, right? Like I'm gonna be able to see the whole thing But on the other hand on the other hand do not watch it on a I max. Here's the thing folks Dennis made these worms To be a specific big size

Yeah, when you watch the worms on your TV or Christ forbid it your phone Those worms look little they look like little like a snake that you could step on and hurt it And you can't do that because the worm is too big, but on a I max screen the people that's Way too big the worm is at that point Yeah, I was no one's gonna believe there's a worm that big when I watch dune on my tablet I'm like, why are those borrowers fighting that earthworm because I don't understand scale Zendaya's so small so little so little here's what I'll say to Dennis though that perhaps Dennis isn't considering TVs these days is big

Like my TV it's pretty big now if this was old school Where we had that one tube TV that I think in real life was like a 12 inch screen But the box like the the case that it was in was like three feet wide Then like yeah, I get it Dennis I don't want to watch fucking Timothy Chalamet's beautiful face on that tiny shitty black mirror But on my big TV now It's getting close in it. It's pretty big and I said super close to it Dennis I'm right up on it. So the aspect ratio is about the same

How to hold on if we could pause for 30 seconds. I'm here with celebrity correspondent David Lynch He just wanted to weigh in on this. Thank you possible Now if you're playing the movie on a telephone You will never in a trillion years Experience the film you'll think you have experienced it But you'll be

cheated It's a such a sadness That you think you've seen a film on your Fucking telephone Get real Okay, so that's sort of where Dave's at. Thank you David for coming into the studio with that. I really appreciate it I'm gonna completely miss the point for a second and say that my favorite moment in there Is when you can hear him start to think to say billion

But then he's like no no no David David David trillion trillion years that'll get the point across Timothy Chalamet's not a big dude He could get like you could lose him in the action on the phone. I haven't seen the dune film because it's not out yet. Um And frankly, I they got it right with the stingvert like they got it in one with sting and a fucking aging tale cooper Like yeah, you're not gonna beat that but good luck But on a phone to me chalamet. Where is he? He is two pixels tall. I do not see the boy I do not I cannot find the boy although it is the most I've ever felt capable that I could take jason mamo in a fight like I think I could flick him across the table like

Angry birds angry birds alchemans s right out the phone get out of here get out of here now You're in the yard. I win. This is true because when you see the old version of dune on screen I'm like, oh patrick steward looks gigantic, right? Oh look how huge he is But then I go and I see jason mamo's ass and that tiny ass phone and I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah No, I could squish that boy. I could squish that man. Look at him. Look at that. Travis could swish It's good swish he could pick jason mamo up and swish him nothing but net. Oh absolutely no problem. No problem there Absolutely, I could don't even get don't even get it started So don't see if you see dune on tv if you see dune on tv take yourself to jail

Unless admit yourself to jay. Unless unless you string a bunch of tv's together like in blank check the movie And you can watch it. Oh, that's awesome Like a big do you have a bunch of friends together and lamb party your tv's together? That's good. And then just watch it. So each tv is one chunk of timothy chalamet's face Right and and decide ahead of time which part of which tv is going to be the face Because you don't want everybody to be like the nose or something that would be so embarrassing, right? You want to be like i'm the nose you guys are the eyes Let's vulture on this shit and get timothy chalamet's face up on the big screen like denis intended

And i'm just gonna say i'm i've been this is like not relevant to me because i've been boycotting the movie You guys know since they announced that stillen scar scar was going to play baren harkinon and not mike miers like i've been requesting for So many years I wanted mike miers play all the parts but But they wouldn't they said he i was turning out just but have you tried saying out loud stillen scar scar scar scar scar scar scar? I'm gonna bring my screaming Four-month-old and four-year-old to the theaters. Yeah, everybody's gonna be like, why did you bring these fucking kids to dune? I'll be like Dennis made me I wanted to watch it at home like a like a normal person

But apparently this is a Christ-like experience. I just hope there's enough fucking I just hope there's enough Stella in there to satisfy my kids I don't want it to be another another situation like like Jungle Cruise where they got Gia Monty right at the beginning and then Disappearance for large swaths. It's only this is yeah This is what I'll say and Jess and I'm still glad that you brought Jungle Cruise back into it I was Jungle Cruise at home and I can't imagine how much harder I would have cried if I saw in theaters You know what I mean? So I'm kind of glad I'm able to sit at home and have a muted emotional experience because God knows sometimes

You know the the water works. They just open and by the end of it You're dried out like SpongeBob in the Sun and I don't want that You know what I mean? So like it's nice to be able to mute my emotions in watching say a Jungle Cruise right a Dune at home because this twice must flow But so much the tears the tears must also and I like that's the thing about home viewing that you're not gonna be Dennis when I watch Chernobyl At home with my kids. Yeah. Yeah, and they were like who's that great guy?

I was like that's that is Stella Skarsgard and then like happens in so many movies He was gone for a long time. He wasn't on the screen. I could fast forward to the next scene Yeah, and that's a special feature so you can just watch this guy's got the sing-along the sing-along Skarsgard cut Yeah, for sure. They call it the scar rated version Right, it's pretty good. That was ten minutes. We're free. All right. We did it congratulations everybody We are going to answer your questions now and turn them out to be like in the wisdom. That's what we do This is our core competency Well, it's our it's our it's our USP

You need selling point. Okay. Nice. All right. No other podcast has done it You know the podcast will ever do it. Okay. No, because I know we have a fucking good. Oh All right. I'm so I'm just really it's been a while you sound amped up. I'm fucking stoked This is the thing we switch to the morning record. Yeah, and now I'm so jies on coffee. Yeah, you know what I mean Whoo, I work in a local deli that also serves ice cream even that's a Vocket, you know, I sure a thousand things I could say all right, you know, yeah Yeah, well, that's that's using a lot of how and I like listen to like listen like You think they have a bologna flavored ice cream over here. Oh, come on

I've heard a preamed beef, but this is Come on, you're doing great stuff over there, but you know Justin's on fire right now I need to give Justin Get out of the way Listen when MJ's on fire you giving the basketball or the microphone depending on which MJ You're talking about you're discussing now Justin. Yeah, do some or the gun to shoot zombies if it's me watch Oh, right, right, right, right. Give me one more Justin, but make it more focused on the ice cream and less on the bologna Okay, yeah, you know what I like is a nice locks and then a smear of

Neapolitan, oh, they're smooth. Yeah, it's perfect shit fuck I work at a local deli that also serves ice cream nice. I was Helping out behind the ice cream County yesterday and while talking to my co-worker about milkshakes I mentioned that I'm not the best person to talk to you because I'm lactose intolerant Well, I'm missing a beat. He said yeah, I make sense I Of course asked what he meant and he was immediately told me I don't know you just look like you don't do dairy Was this an insult? Yes

How do I make myself naturally look like I not only can eat but frequently consume milk? That's from befuddled in Bellingham. Why would you want that? Why do you want a milk? Milk is poisoned on your body No Griffin because you see there's some people that have been picking on me But I've been drinking my milk and pretty soon I'm gonna be a big tough guy and I'm gonna murder all of them I don't remember how the commercial goes, but it was basically something like that

It was something like that yet. It was a little boy the milk mustache saying the day of reckoning But that boy you'll bleed for your sense you monster You've missed an important sentence in this thing which is that they are lactose intolerant So like if I'm at a party and somebody's like cheap griffin you haven't even looked at the cheese ball Then I'm gonna have to say well. Yeah, because it'll make me fart and shit weird and I'll seem like a total creeper zoid I would rather just avoid that entirely Assume that about me. You're missing the point the question asker is not asking How do I make myself eat this food which is poison to my guts?

It is how do I make myself up here to be eat someone who eats his food that is poison to my guts So that I might pass without trace throughout society So that people you're okay Travis this is an intractable position that we have found ourselves in because I am saying if you give that off But you can't if you're writing those checks People are gonna tell you to cash them and when they tell you to cash them You will have to say I can't because of what it does to my stomach and my butt and the toy. Oh my god griffin You're missing the most obvious answer

Become an expert at sleight of hand Okay, they make milk shake down here like you make the newspaper Yes, right make the newspaper cone and dump it in and then this stuffs But in this case the newspaper cone is your mouth Okay, when the when the magics guys Do the trick where they pour the milk Down the newspaper cone. Uh-huh, and then it's gone. Yeah, that's making a mess somewhere, right in a different dimension. Yeah

I mean Jokes out of the room. There's they're not pouring it into a fucking wormhole like they're pouring milk into a newspaper cone Let's say let's put it this way Let's put it this way when the magician pour the milk into the newspaper cone and then they make it disappear. Yeah, someone Will be cleaning that up who will not at the id receive applause Let's put it that way when they're doing their stage show. There is a a techie There is some kind of theater professional standing off the winks going don't do the milk don't do the milk Oh

I don't want that. I hope no one thinks I'm milking it Yeah Motherfucker, it's like in the prestige when michael cayne revealed like no We we straight up murder a bird like every single night single night. This is that somebody's like damn Where does the milk go though? And you're like, hehehe And you put a stain on the floor. I'm sweeping up the birds Ugh Um, it's a living I don't I I

I would not want this. I don't I don't know why you want this It's not most people. I feel like aren't doing milk these days, huh? I think that the problem is is that I think that lactose intolerant makes it seem like a weakness Instead of like saying like, oh no, my body rejects that point like I the I think it needs a rebranding is what it is Rather than like I can't drink milk. My body has evolved beyond the need for milk Right. I think we need we need something that makes it more like oh, you're not lactose intolerant. Oh my god. I'm so sorry It's but it's like this is not a judgment on people who are still rocking that dairy life go for it See, I know your truth. I'm I'm proud of you, but there's so much stuff you can eat

No one's gonna come up to you and be like you don't eat the cheese and milk and you're like, no, there's other stuff There's like lots of stuff that you can eat. There's lots of stuff you can eat. That's a actually great point gruff Thanks juice Especially at the deli like, you know, I mean, yeah, yeah, can we approach the wizard? Can we approach his humble yourself? I'm actually practicing a little dance for the wizard Do your dance. I'm gonna genuflect and let's all appease the wizard of the cloud Oh Big finish

Why did you get that tired because it was uh, you didn't do that much Well, I'm really out of shape different So I want to tell you all how to get out of a sticky situation. I think we've all been in from time to time too much honey No, no, um, you're out in the desert. Yeah And you're riding on your camel. Yep looking for The mummy's crypt sure sure sure to get the golden treasure. I'm with brennan phraser and reach white phraser there, but then uh You know brennan phraser sees a sees a bad mummy and shoots it with his gun that kills mummies

Oh, okay, and and when that happens, it's loud, right and your camel goes Fuck this. I'm scared. Yeah. Yeah. So I want to read to y'all how to regain control of a spooked camel Oh, great great great sent this in. Thank you, holland Um, just to quickly like sort of summarize a lot of the things that I'm gonna say here Be just be chill about it. Yeah, because if you're not chill Your camel's gonna know that it can also be not chill and get and get and sort of wild out Hey griffin if I could just ask uh favorite if you could get to the point. This is actually very timely for me Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah. So like this is actually a going concern right now, right?

Okay Camels are very intuitive creatures if they sense your anxiety or anger they will get more spooked your anger. Fuck you camel stand still Um, it's important to manage your emotions even if you're scared out of your mind. So focus on your breathing Some people find that breathing in quick quickly and exhaling slowly helps them feel calmer Huh other people find breathing in and out on counts of three helps. That's so you've given me nothing here Which of those those are two different things. Hey, yeah, but travis. Listen. Remember camels. They are calm by nature They're not naughty by nature like a lot of Sorry, I've got the the animals of god's god's domain like a lot of un undulates

Anyway, uh, it it will eventually regain its composure You just when you're in the shit remember you're not always going to be in there because the camel wants to calm down, right? Well, not this one reggie is kind of going. Uh, he's wild and out He is now travis, but he wants to be calm. So talk to the camel softly. Don't ever raise your voice at it Reggie you've trampled reggie. You've trampled my child Please destroy this bizarre that we found ourselves in if you could just Chill out. This is a lot of money. You're going to cost me I just want to see if there really is water inside of your hump because I found myself really, oh that's number four

Don't poke a Don't poke a straw into its hump trying to drink it up like a capri sun. It says right here Because it says that has never worked. Stop drinking that mountain. Do you go red reggie or calm down, buddy? You've got gamer. You've got gamer energy as a gamer madness And you can't get you can't expunge that because you can't game Don't kick or hurt the camel as an attempt to slow it down. I would never If you want the camel to trust you he has to look at you like a friend not an enemy

I mean, but I need but here's I don't I need the camel to a lot of my friends. I need the camel to respect me Like i'm not gonna hurt or kick the camel but the idea that i'm its friend Like you can't be a friend and a father to your camel. You know what I mean? Sometimes I arm wrestle reggie just to remind him Like you know has to know maintain a firm grip on the reins, but don't pull too hard just pull the normal For camels for camels

The normal amount they don't give a number. How much torque do I need to use so hard to not air on the side of pulling too hard Because there's definitely a not too hard amount that I could hold it. Yeah, I'm gonna find myself negative Not only that if we're trying to earn this camels respect and I give it a loose like boop and it's like what was that? What was that was nothing? Yeah, you got to just be just just got to be consistent feel like I was thinking about if my camel ran away it would really There's a level of exotic

This is that yeah exotic city. There it is There's a level of exoticity of an animal where owning that animal becomes your core to find like Yeah, when you're the boa constrictor person or the parrot person I see I feel like even a boa constrictor Is like right on the line of like if someone says you should meet my friend dan

It would be the first thing Here's what you got to know about dan He owns a camel. I mean, I guess that's probably depending on your locale though because there would be parts where he's like Yes, he doesn't own a camel and you bet. There's a there's a commiserate There's a there's a commiserate Level of like there's a amul amul that is exotic. Yeah in camel fairing nations As it would be here. Do you understand what I'm saying? Camel fairing or camel fairing? I heard fairing I heard fairing also, which is like what nation is that that's like?

Try to get the camel moving in a circle. All right You got it. You got to stunt that camel You got to let the camel have a little bit of fun by stunting it in a cool circle How long do you think I don't know how smart camels are? But I get smart if my camel got away from me. How far do you think it would get before it's like, oh, shit I don't know where I'm going. Yeah, I need to go back to travis. I'm gonna die out here Now now while you're stunting In the sun

Uh doing doing donuts on your camel this next step is pretty important Try to remain saddled until the camel stops if you get it to circle You must hang on and let it run and hang on for the fucking right of your life. Why did I do this? No, not the ramp You've got to get your center of gravity low and grip it with your legs and just Fucking close your eyes Pray to whatever god you believe in And just just see what happens next

I can't imagine it's that hard though because you just put yourself between the two humps That's exactly what I was about to say travis. It's so funny you say that because I feel like Camel is them any sort of dromedary would be the most embarrassing to fall off of because they have a human divot It's all right there part of the grand design. Yeah Perfect perfect creatures Um, so remain saddled until the camel stops unless consider a quick dismount if all else fails Sorry, hey your camel just trampled like my family. Yeah, sorry. He was going too fast. Did you pull on it the normal amount? Yeah, I did just the regular not too much. No, no, no, that was a trick

I'm just trying to get you with my trick Damn, that's weird camels are usually so calm. I know that's why I had to jump off I don't like the vagueness of if all else fails Because one of the steps was stay saddled Which then makes me think is that one of the things that would fail at which when someone would be like Hey, I saw you fall off your camel and you go. No, no, no, no Yeah, I jumped off my camel because all else fails all everything else failed real quick part two Know what to do once you've regained control which is assuming a lot

But you've gotten the camel to chill you're off the camel and you're not dead One get the camel get off the camel once you have it under control once the wild ride is over have the camel sit Yeah, thank you. Oh really and your camel's like you fucking bought it and he's out Well, charles, that's why you need to do step two keep a safe distance from your camel because and this is a fun fact Unlike horses camels can kick in all directions. What omnidirectional even straight up Fucking awesome. It can kick straight up. They can kick god

cloud cloud kickers so cool Uh, one of the steps have a calm But like direct discussion with your camel about what the two of you could do better next time Don't make it all about the camel use a lot of i statements Travis you're getting way ahead of me. Fuck me. Yeah Step three is don't run away from the camel because if you turn your back to the camel it may chase after you and kick you No matter which witch away There's nowhere you can hide from the camel's mini kicks. Yeah, that's why I run away to the camel once it's calmed down

Like oh the camel's calm. It's not wilding out anymore. Bye You know, it's trying to fucking trick you and prank you right Don't make any sharper sudden movements great great great and then step five and this is awesome Try walking in a slow circle around your camel while talking to it calmly I wish someone would do that to me sometime I'm gonna ask my therapist next time. I'm like really going Going bonkers in there to just like do a do a lap while giving me some sort of like

nice affirmations That would be that would be very soothing to me a little 360 degree Uh since around experience How about another question? Yeah, all right. We have time right? We do I just I feel like this is the most helpful thing Sometimes I like to end the episode on the most helpful thing And knowing that a camel can kick you no matter where you're at Even if you're like No matter what yeah, the camel's gonna find you. I just want to say 360 no scope camel so I can move on with my fucking life. All right, let's go

360 no All right. Well, I can't see I can't even I said it just then I realized I already said it Uh, let's see here. My partner and I have been in the process of buying a house over the past couple months Congratulations, that's a stressful process. No kidding and it hasn't been going too well. Oh, we recently found out Found one that seems perfect for us. It's in our budget. It's nice outside. It's close to both of our jobs The problem the name of the road. It's on is brown town Where is by this place? Did they say the city? I guess maybe they would know I'm gonna fucking drill down on this Yeah, I know what are you gonna search brown town in the road?

No, it's on brown the name of the road. It's on is brown town Should I buy this place? If I do how can I get over the fact that I live on this street? This is from rotten realty Please discuss this while I do a little googling to see if I can find brown But we all want to look for brown town. Justin. Well, we can't some of us have to do a podcast Travis so Just right no, bud like right off the top of the

The heap here. There's a brown town wisconsin brown town virginia Brown town, which is in the salisbury township in ohio. Man. There's like brown towns all over chattanooga There's battle pearl in north carolina. There's Atlanta, georgia the brown town of wisconsin has according to google maps No reviews. So here's one. It's called brown town. That's hilarious Oh, boy. Okay, three stars. Here's okay There's a brown town road in michigan in pennsylvania in virginia also in virginia. There's so they're all over out of We're not going to dox this person. There's a lot of brown town roads Here's the problem for me is like there's a part of me

That if like one of my friends like if just if you were like, how do I get to my house? And I was like, well, you just head on down to brown town. That's funny But then someone goes, yeah, I got a package here. Where do I deliver it? And then I have to say to that person with my human mouth. I need you to deliver it to brown town I that that in that circumstance I'm going to be embarrassed to tell people where I live But there will be other moments where I'd be super proud of it and I don't know if it balances out Yeah, I don't think it does. I

What have you just said dukeyberg Every time you say it to someone, I mean, it's not you will get in your into it You know what I mean? Like you'll get in your into it. But then Eventually like you're you're what you're gonna get tired of is every time you tell someone You're gonna have to stop your entire life for 15 minutes to unpack. Yes. No. Yes. I'm used to it. No, it doesn't bother me Yes, it's really called brown town. No, it's just a regular road Nothing weird. What if you start regular stuff happens here? What have you started pronouncing it brown town? Hmm, what about brony town brony town come on the option

Because I don't think brown tone works the same but brown town The housing market being what it is If you find a house that you can afford that you like and that you can Get an offer in on and win the house in the game that we call houses um, and if it's on a street called butthole like Fart Lane

Get it get that house. Yeah. Yeah, you probably will have an easier time like Petitioning the city to change just the name of the street on your block Yeah, you will finding another house in in this economy in this economy. Where do you live? I live on 69 shitmouth cul-de-sac All right. I hear that's a great neighborhood. It's a great neighborhood great school districts and uh, Affordable price per square foot. We're loving it over here. There is an HOA at the shitmouth cul-de-sac, but um It's you can't you know things are tough. I just bought a new house. Oh, yeah, uh, we're right Oh, it's on everyone on this street has explosive diarrhea constantly street

Oh, that's a long day. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard to send mail because you got fitted up in that top little corner there It's pretty hard. So I had to get a special like labels printed off, but they're lovely. They they have birds on them It's nice. Yeah cardinals Oh, that's fine. Hey, let's say take a quick break and then we're gonna come back with so much more You won't even be able to handle it. Whoa Honey is I guess Honey is a service that helps you find the best coupons on the internet

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Just go to imperfect foods.com and use my brother all one word to sign up Are you feeling elevated levels of anxiety? Do you quick uncontrollably even thinking about watching cable news? Do you have disturbing nightmares only to realize it's two in the afternoon and you're up? If you've experienced one or more of these symptoms, you may have fno news overload Fortunately, there's treatment. Hi. I'm dave holmes host of troubled waters troubled waters helps fight fno That's because troubled waters stimulates your joy zone on troubled waters Two comedians will battle one another for pop culture supremacy

So join me dave holmes for two two two doses of troubled waters a month The cure for your f***ing news overload available on maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts I Want a munch I want to dance monkeys. I say munch. You say squad for you. I want a munch Hey, yo man What just happened just this one might be I just I don't know man

No one's making you do this just this one feels like I it is making me do it But it's like the our bore like this First off public service announcement. The shakaroni is back. Papa John. Thank you. Thank you Go get your shakaroni. It's a it's a jake It's a monstrous pepperoni pizza one dollar Every purchase is goes to a charity. It makes me so mad. It's not macaroni. I forgot it was a pizza. Sorry go No, it's a shakaroni with cheese. So the shakaroni is back. Bob Johnson. No, I want to tell you about It's just really hard. This is just hard. Take your time. Okay

guys Flavortown kitchen partners with lifestyle brand middle-class fancy To debu the rand burger Okay, this is that I I sadly understand this and it is a fucking wild wild ride So we're kind of in like yes. Yes Do we're in yes or no territory for sure?

Yeah, because it's like I read it and I I read it several times and my brain couldn't Put the chunks together in much the same way as guy. I have no idea what this is. Okay. Okay Can I take a stab? Yeah, take a stab. It's like it's like an instagram joke account That like makes fun of guy ferries sometimes And but now guy ferries like no, let's collab win collab win now Am I close? You're basically got it middle-class fancy is like an instagram account. You know what I mean? Where it does meme jokes. Yeah, okay and memes um

Are like jokes That's you need to remove punch lines and substitute it with images. You're familiar with yeah if you need it That's a meme, right? So there's all your vocab that you need here the world's most memeable chef guy theory Is taking his Flavortown kitchen a delivery only restaurant brand powered by virtual dining concepts to heights What a what a food stew Or words to to new heights by partnering with the most iconic name in suburban meme culture Middle-class fancy the partnership not only brings together two brands synonymous with memes

But also offers a new menu item the rand burger Now available for a limited time only. Okay. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. I know that in this day and age This is like a really like trite observation to make but imagine Taking this press release Back in time even just like 30 years And handing this to a human being and they would read it and be like what this is this is what is this Did you cut up a bunch of words in a magazine and throw them into the air? And this is how they land like none of this makes sense

I get it for the fact that no no listen you get it because you understand individually what all these words mean But without any context whatsoever you could not put this together Like sans context clues this these words mean nothing on their own um, so middle so middle-class fancy is a meme account From instagram and it does seem to credit people for their memes sometimes I I can't really give a definitive answer on that But they do dunk on Guy Fieri and Guy Fieri I guess loved the dunking so much

That he wanted to collab millions of followers view middle-class fancy's unique perspective on the absurdities of suburban lifestyle From jokes about air fryers to grilling battles integrating Guy Fieri's flavor town kitchen into the middle-class fancy universe Led Fieri to naming a burger after their beloved character rand Like iron rand So this is yeah, so this is like the first burger that is also an inside joke, you know what I mean I started middle-class fancy as an exaggerated version of the life I grew up around coming from a small town in cedar town, georgia

It's a small town in cedar town, georgia. That must be a pretty fucking small town It's like safety town. It's like safety town. I already had a different meme account where I put I don't care about someone who Is more successful than me because they post memes. I need this That's a shame because there's a lot of people you've just described. I know I ruled out a lot of people, huh? Sorry, I prefer books by authors. Wait, so people make money from posting memes A huge part of middle-class fancy universe Involves the restaurant experience as well. I'm beyond excited to work with Guy and I know my audience will love what we have in store for them

it's I mean, it's a burger Here's here's the here's the quote from Guy Fieri and I know this one isn't funny I'm really struggling with it. I'm being honest about that and that's worth something. It's vulnerable Meme or no, let me do my Guy Fieri voice. Oh, no Meme or no meme Rand is a real dude and a formidable grill master says Guy Fieri So in recognition of his true backyard burger badassery I'm allowing Rand a limited time only trip through flavor town

order up That you're Guy Fieri, Justin Yeah Scares the shit out of me What's wrong with him? We could we have time we can sort of zero in on do him again Just say that again. Meme or no me. Yeah, that's all right. Stop stop stop. Yeah. Yeah It's it's a it's a he wants to fight me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are the various challenge my preconceptions

Do you not do you not get the impression that Guy Fieri wants to fight food a lot? Oh fight food. Yeah That's interesting. I don't want to take this ham sammy out back and kick its butt Yeah, that's cool that I get That I get if he said I named this burger after I mean the burger is named after a character on an instagram meme feed. Yeah, what is happening? Well, it's 2021 and nothing means anything anymore. Well, no, this means something. This means something to me. Does it? Yeah

What's it mean to you Griffin? That's funny when one funny thing Does a funny thing with another funny thing? It's good shit, man. Well, I mean you can get it if you want to you guys know But you don't even need a restaurant to have a restaurant anymore Guy Fieri That you get the idea like favoritown kitchen. This is not a rest. This is not a building you can go to You just tell uber eats you want it and Guy Fieri ships it to you or something Something is there a hook my favorite burger in Huntington. Yeah Is the mr. Beast burger which is delivered

Via a youtube account called mr. Beast and he started a bunch of burger places hundreds throughout the u.s That's the best burger in town. It's from this youtube guy Is he the one who gives people a bunch of the money and you watch mr. Beast and you think like damn This little dude's like a little publishers clearing house. Look at this little little gentleman Yeah, he goes place to place sometimes he gets hunted by the fbi and if the fbi catches him He gives him 10 10,000 smack. What are you sir 100 g's? Yeah, okay. Yeah, I need money

Well, it's not the whole fbi. It's just one guy So and I have to imagine he's like a disgraced fbi Because I can't imagine they let their best people do this at some point But maybe I don't know all right. That's that's it. I mean it's like I this is why i'm saying and this is why i'm struggling with it like I You don't know if it's normal or not It's not that I know if it's normal. It's like I feel like the

We have crossed some sort of YouTube dividing lot what youtube icon Let's could be it It's like it. It's like a dividing line where no, it's like more of like a We've broken the memetic seal So you the thing the fact that it is wild Is the point the cruelty is the point, you know what I mean It is why yes, that's right. It is wild and that's why a lot of these products. They're not even like

For sale in a wide-reaching way. It's just like yeah, we did a really stupid thing What do you care about it? And then it pushes you into a well and forces you to tweet about it or this is the thing We have reached a point now where like the pendulum is going to swing back the other way And pretty soon like a big news story is going to be like mcdonald's saying like yeah, we're making a new burger And that's it. It's just a new burger and it has ingredients that we thought you would like The only human part of the fast the casual dining industry anymore The only human part is that there's everybody's doing a lot more

Plants you can eat a lot this which seems good In my stupid opinion, you know, it seems good. Yeah plants All right That was that was a that was a challenging one It's a challenging one, right? Because I don't know. I don't know. Is that worth reporting? Is that a news story for munch squad? I don't know because the it's the point the that is the point You know, I mean, it's not the exception anymore. It is the rule that exactly. Yeah, trav. I mean, yeah

It doesn't require a me to do it like yeah Guy did his own munch squad kind of you know what I mean? It's like Hey, I'll take this from you too. I'll tell you what would be an exciting one squad Is if you could find a press release that was like this meme account Tried to get guy fiatty to do a burger with him and guy fiatty said no I'm not gonna do that. That sounds too silly. I wish I could get I mean, I've been we've been trying to get guy on the show for Yeah, we got a partner with him

Got a partner with him. Maybe that's it. Maybe if we hit a great character He could do a burger my burger my burger and me All right, well, okay. Now you are now you are actually cooking with gas you get two burgers and yourself Um, that's it It sounded like I would get three burgers. Yeah, that's part of our No, no, no, no marketing trick. You're the me. You're the me. It's my burger my burger me And you have to eat both of them while guy watches I got an idea for a new hot dog

Oh call. Yeah called stink dogs. Get at me guy. I'm not gonna tell you what it is Oh, I like that. I like that. Unless you make the connection. I have a new idea for a hot dog called a not dog And I'll just go and tell you what it is. It's an empty bun All right Do you get it? It's good. You can put whatever you want in there. It's your it's your uh blue sky but not a hot dog. No speaking speaking Which I want to tell you guys yesterday I go to hot dogs for dinner. Oh, lulala Yeah, thanks, right

And I go to hot dogs for dinner and there was an extra hot dog I was like, you know, we hit we had the whole line yards buns the whole thing We ended up I was cleaning up at the end of the night, right? Yeah, and I I there's a bag of buns and I went to go store it My wife uh-huh My wife had Put the one leftover hot dog we had. Yeah

Into the one remaining bun that we had And then wrapped it back up in the hot dog bun bag cool and left it on the counter Have you ever heard anything more treacherous in your entire life? I mean, okay, if you're at an outdoor picnic and you have to protect it from the elements But I'm imagining you don't got buzz buzz flies in your where does that fit into the like procedures of Food handling we're like now you have this and I didn't know about it. That's just really important

Right to me. It's a bun in a bag. There's one bun in the bag left time to store this with buns That is I think that is the uh the cat because if if uh, if it was my wife My wife thank you and She put the hot dog in the bun and then loudly announced. I'm gonna wrap this up that Right fine to let me know But you gotta let you gotta let Justin know you gotta let Justin know Uh, it's the on the counter that also bothers me because I feel the people of this world Uh on on the whole have way too. They're too blasé about the old danger zone

of of food and uh 40 to 140 folks It's it's more than four hours. You gotta chuck it. You just broke it through the danger zone sometimes Sometimes even then I feel personally is pushing it Where if I've been at a party and it's been like two hours, and I'm like, oh, we could just oh Nobody's picking at this anymore. Oh if we could just go ahead and put this back in the old refrigerator Oh boy Travis you've actually tied in beautifully to our next question. All right. I have a simple query today What's the appropriate time to delete someone's contact information?

I have some people from high school in my phone an old work contacts How long without being in touch is it good enough to simply purge my phone of their existence? That's from living on the lamp I have roughly 1500 people. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I have an exact number. Okay. It's only 900 contacts in my contacts Wow, because at some point iCloud was like, hey, you want every single person You've ever received an email from to be added to your contacts, right?

And sometimes you click through those contacts. It's like, oh, we didn't think you'd actually click on it We don't know anything. Yeah, we got nothing. Uh, yeah, we can't get a hold of this person's off the greatest part. We're concerned Um, yeah, I have pr or uh, uh hr from aol So if I need to reach out to aol hr to get something taken care of, uh, I can just knock that knock that right out Uh, this weird thing happened at some point between Teresa and I like sharing computers and Backups of phones and being on like the same AT&T account Somehow our phones have now melded and all of her contacts are mixed with my contacts in my phone And all of my contacts are mixed with her contacts and her phone

And so is created this thing where I'll be searching for a number and name will come up and I'm like, who the fuck I I don't know this Eric person and Teresa's like, oh, that's the guy I went to high school with And I'll look at it and think I should delete that But then I won't because what if I need to contact Eric? I I have a I have a Okay, there's an impulse to leave every contact on there. I get that at the same time though Every day you do that is another day you run the risk of accidentally pressing the dial But we've we've all done it accidentally pressing the dial button I think you delete it when you if you were to call that person would have absolutely no

Possible there are some people that are so removed from me in terms of Be it like actual geographic space or time or life events. Yes, right where a call to them would be utterly Unfathomable here's my phone would instantly become a burner. I'd have to put it into a hydraulic press But this is the this is the problem to go back to like the age we live in right as the issue Is that like and maybe this is a very specific problem? But I don't think so because more and more people are turning to internet content creation for a job Is that you run the risk of a kid you go went to high school with right who has your same phone number

like You know following your instagram account where you post your art or listening to your podcast or whatever And texting you like I love the show and you've deleted it. It's just a random number and you're like thanks fan Fucking nightmare. Yeah, and they're like no no no we like we're best friends for eight years I have russ frustic in my contact list. You can delete that four four separate times What do I need? Why does he have four cell phones? I have dad in my phone twice And with two numbers and I have to remember every time like which one's my real dad I have richard gary in my phone for some I can text richard gary it right now and be like

Let me get all up in heaven dude. Take me to space. Take me to your wonderful castle rich I'm trying to think of like what's a weird what's one I could get rid of let's see Is that because Well, it's just sometimes I have numbers saved in my phone for like businesses Yeah, I don't go to like I don't know where it's just like well. I checked with this enough times that like it's just I'm just gonna save it And then it's like well, how often am I calling? You know the huntington Museum of art, you know, I could probably get rid of that one. We can do another question. Okay

Uh, oh There's a good one. This this was a good one The local university has obtained a rare corpse flower And I want to this sounds like the beginning of a murder mystery go on and I want to go see it because it's a once in lifetime Opportunity, but my girlfriend doesn't want to go with because it will smell bad like a corpse How do I convince her to come experience this nasty blooming flower with me? That's from noxious in noxville Oh, is that it's weird to think that there are people in this world that when you're like smell how bad this smells They're not like, okay

Right, like yeah, that's me. I was like, oh my god. It smells terrible. Does it like it's that's seen like I've been at a funeral homes where they had smelling salts and it's all I wanted Oh, I've hit the smelly salts one. Oh, yeah, baby. It does not feel good Is that no when you got it, but you got to do it Like you got to know what the stink you got to know what that stink is like I don't like the smell of flowers So this wouldn't really stress me out that much The smell of flowers grosses me out. Why?

Because that makes me because the because I have at some point Some part of my brain Connected funerals and flowers and that's where I'm at now. Wow. I can't get out of it. That's where I'm at That's what my brain if I have fresh people give me flowers. I want to cry. I hate I can't stand smell flowers Really don't like them. I don't like them. I'll try this cork flower. I guess but maybe I could just rule the whole category Now, but there's an interesting cork flower Maybe that would be what purges your system Maybe I don't think I I don't think so

Um, you know some if somebody doesn't want to go do something stinky. I think you got to respect it, you know You're that's a very legitimate. We've gotten to where we're at as a species By respecting the desire to not smell stinky things. Yeah a lot of times that's earth Trying to tell you it's poison I would also say that uh, there is a good distance along the way of this journey that your girlfriend could accompany you Right up to but not including smelling the bad bad stinky flower that would make it a day together Right. Yeah, you don't need to share this experience if they don't if if someone said hey travis There's a flower down at local university that smells like stinky old garbage juice

That's been left out in the sun Come with it with me. I'd be like no no no and they'd be like, oh, I thought we were friends Let me augment that though just a little bit travis. There's an incredibly rare Flower that smells like stinky garbage shoes that you will never get the chance again to smell Down to university come down. Well, that's you know, I do that. I know that's what I'm saying Like I want to eat durian fruit and like that's the one thing That like that dude from bizarre foods is like this fucking gross I hate this shit and I'm like, I want to eat that nasty ass fruit. Yeah

If andrew zimmerin hates it, I'll fucking chomp it. I want to be braver than him I want to know that I'm the braver man a ship in harbury safe. Go smell the fucking flower is awesome This person already wants to smell the flower. They need to convince someone else to smell the flower Okay, go smell the flower and be like it's kicked ass. You got you I'm gonna have to disagree with this one All right, because here's the thing if they There is a chance now that that person goes up and smell it and after like question asker has like Goaded them on and could jolt them to do it and then they smell like yeah

Oh, it's fucking awful and I hate that that happened Right and now it's that thing and then the next time you're like, hey go do this thing with me I'm going to uh this weird renaissance festival and they're like, I don't know that I want to go to that You've lost all bargaining power No, because if you say come smell this stinky ass rotten corpse flower with me and then you go and they're like that smelled so bad and you can say like yeah I did say that it's not like you're going saying like hey, we're gonna go to the renaissance fair and get overcharged for dry turkey And um, and we're gonna feel not confident in our costumes

And they'll be like well, that's a you are also not telling this very well I don't know go smell the flower man. Ship and harbor. I don't think you should make people smell things. They don't want to smell Okay, ship it out But you could also trade off and say like you smell this flower and then I'll smell something you want me to smell It would be kind of fun to be at a place where you could just loudly say pee you a lot. That is true You know what I mean? pee Yeah, and people would be like that's exactly the reaction we're going for thank you so much

while you're waiting in line to smell it Just be like pee you and people are like you can already we're outside the building and you're like yeah, it smells You guys can't smell that. Oh stinky pee you This is I actually I have a similar feel if somebody was like hey, let's go to that butterfly garden exhibition I'd be like no, thank you. That's no no. I know that's the worst. Oh god those things Oh boy, just like a bunch of killable stuff Also, I have a three year old so that's a that's just a I'm a big old truck just trekking around and the idea that I'm gonna sit on it. I'm gonna step on it. I'm gonna inhale it

I'm going to I don't know move my hand too quickly and backhand a butterfly across the room while my four-year-old looks on No, thank you. I'm just gonna cause like a billion billion like Tsunamis on the other side of the planet, you know Yes, yes, yes, I've seen the ashton kutcher movie butterfly effect where he goes to that butterfly Conservatory and he accidentally eats three butterflies and a volcano erupts He turns into butterfly man. We've all seen the movie. That's funny. That part's cool. I like when he's butterfly man Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. You can buy stuff at macroemerge.com if you want to

um We'll have uh, we don't have a exact date or anything set up yet But we're going to do more uh live shows like virtually speaking Um, if so if you would come to those uh events, they've all been really fun. Ask anybody who's Come to them. It's not just us saying they're great In case you missed out along those same lines, uh, chris and I had to cancel the dragon con appearance Uh, it was a lot of factors at play, but uh, yeah, so I don't I don't know I don't know if anybody was cleaning and going just because we were going to be there

But I wanted to make sure you all knew we would not be attending this year Um, and hey the full song and music video for my life is better with you from montaigne is out You can find it on the macroi family youtube channel. It's a freaking delight. Uh, we're so so happy Uh to to have worked with montaigne on that I say that montaigne did like 99 of the work We just made silly faces. I saw somebody describe it as like, uh, the the whole video just exudes dad energy Including montaigne and then maybe yeah, I think that's absolutely true Uh, uh, go watch it. Yeah, uh, I got a final yahu here. This one was sent in by, uh, lamper Who uh, send it in thank you lamper. It's from yahu answers user

um mo Raqqa wow. Yeah, wow big yeah mo raqqa asks Mo sorry, I'm googling. I forgot who mo raqqa was Um, oh, okay. Can I do a cbs sunday morning on our bees? Take everyone a look. Yep Why don't you just a travel Zach Roy? I'm griffin mackerel. It's been my brother my brother and me kiss your dad square on the lips Bye

It's better it's better with you It's better it's better with you This is true It's better it's better with you It's better with you Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported