My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 579: Twoklahoma

Episode Date: September 28, 2021

If you see the list of talking points and wonder if we’ve talked about some of this stuff before, we’ve been wondering the same thing. And have an answer for you. Yes, almost definitely.Suggested talking points: Opposite MBMBaM, Poor Judd’s Alive Again, The iconic pica of my signature, Bread Candle, Fauci Goo, Griffin Andrew Lloyd WebberSupport AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate For resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby Precious friendship Could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better

It's better it's better It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother mean it might show for the modern era I'm her oldest brother Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-est brother Travis big dog a who if who if McElroy Hey, and I'm Griffin McElroy the smallest one of the bunch Broadway's back Is it right? Yeah, Broadway's back. I heard it last night on the Tony Awards Broadway is back and me. I was so excited to see all the hits of Broadway

Yeah, we're out last night for the Tony Awards kind of a weird one. Oh, this Tony Awards Do you guys know the story with these Tonys? Awards for Broadway shows I I heard this year actually they only gave them out to people named Tony Which I thought was cool. You're Any variety of spelling though Griffin was fine Tony Tony or Tony were any one of them No, so The Tony Awards, I know that you're wondering the Tony Awards were on last night. What were they honoring exactly because They didn't do any they didn't do it. I know they didn't do any plays or shows

From the ongoing unpleasantness. I don't know if you knew about this, but they're Have you guys noticed how you haven't been outside in a while so they did the Tonys For the shows that got that were doing it. Yeah, sure But didn't get a chance to You know like compete for Tonys wait, right So basically, you mean this is wait This is for shows that were like on Broadway two years ago Exactly, but like after the last brought you don't understand. I'm saying kind of so right so like it's

just Mulan Rouge, oh, okay, a little pill. Yeah, and Tina the Tina So so and so like every award Like well for best musical it's Mulan Rouge Jagged little pill and the Tina Turner musical. Can I tell you just that I'm kicking myself up and down that great white way Because this is your chance to get it If I had known if I had known I would have opened a show in February 2020, you know, I mean like I would have I would have

Spent every last time I had to finally make my little dream come true I would have done a one-man show like but like apparently that would have been enough, right like and I finally could have put on my Script I wrote back in 2009 of mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium as a musical you could have mounted it. I could have mounted it for sure I could have done my my musical Oklahoma to To Oklahoma and it wasn't good. It wasn't even done. I only have two songs in it But I couldn't poor Judd's alive again was one of them. It's about a zombie Judd comes back and Look at that. It's another series with a French on top

That one That one is to the wind is back again, you know Yeah, yeah, this one was about how the farmer and the counterman should be lovers. Yeah Yeah, that's one. It's huge. So um They all it's nice even the musical even the shows that weren't necessarily Like in competition with those other ones. Yeah, like if you did a different one like David Byrne did American utopia. Oh, they're like, we got a Tony for you. That's sure Thank you for doing your show. That's awesome. Here's a Tony for you

I remember I saw a clip of it where they just stood on stage I think it was Lynn just stood on stage and started yelling out like did anyone else do any shows no Lynn did his show Freestyle love supreme with some fist friends and they made it up What that's They made it up every well, we could do that and it's kind of like Show before we get there cuz like I do that Yeah, come up with show and it's like no, well, you know, I was actually talking

I was talking to Christopher Jackson about it and he told yeah that every night I said zoo cuz I'm a zoom zoom zoom. Yeah, and he nailed it Except that wasn't the song he's saying and you know, I'll get tests. I got you you fell right into my trap Griffin drop that Chris Jackson. He don't Every night before they go on stage they go like, okay, let's make sure to write this one down Right because and then they come off stage and they're like, oh, that was a great one All right, it cars and it crushes like I thought you were writing it down Chris and Chris is like shit I thought you were writing down Lynn and they like all forget to write it down every night for like a hundred

Years, yeah For like a really long show and I also know that there's other people in freestyle love supreme And I don't know their names and I'm a terrible one. I want to say I want to say something else Yeah, if I could say something else. All right, say it. We did we did do it that we did duets. There was a We did famous duets coming back Famous duets coming back. They open with they're like history making duets. Who do we have and in my head? I'm sitting there like my arms crossed like there's no joy in the world. There's no way they got Adina and Kristen get out. You know to do

There's no way the music swells And I gotta and and Leslie my friend Leslie owned me juniors like we got a wicked performance and then they're both are Yeah, and they're both they're both doing it. Fuck man. That's so good Cuz that's that wasn't it guys. That wasn't it you would think Certainly, yeah, you would think that's the end of that's the closer. That's the closer. That's your closer But then who's that? Oh my god It's Anthony rap. No

They're both in tuxedos talking about the bohemian life The irony was powerful Someone's in for help this man this this husky boy. He's been killed Who did it and he rap? And Adam Pascal Reuniting and then and then like the audience several people had died at that point Yeah, and the rest of them are getting up to leave because there's no way like getting up to leave They're like scoop the bohemian. There's no way there's any more show

Are you Look up at the sky that could those glowing red cracks in the sky that have been forming for about five years now They're back. They're patching up. They're closing up the wounds guys. You would think you would think that that was the end Guys and then Lynn had to come out with a rap he made up about the Tony's My poor friend come with me. You don't have to follow Bryce Dalcy wheels of a dream They wrote down their songs they came up with their songs a long time ago They did some of them didn't do it. Of course, Anthony or Adam Pascal wrote

wrote all of What? Yeah, but they but I will say this yeah flip it Lynn had Wayne Brady on his team. Yeah, I was like God. Yeah, he's bringing out the big guns Chris Chris Jackson and and Wayne Brady and a cast of thousands really But like they didn't make up a rap about it. We just is very like making things up I Have so it's not Justin. I'm so

Basically, we actually got an invite and I forgot to tell you guys Yeah, what Lynn actually did send us a golden ticket to be on his team for the Tony's And I forgot to pass it on and that one's on me. Yeah, I'm really really sorry about that Anyway, it was very special and it's like I do I will There is one little thing I wanted They did they were so everybody had me vaccinated. I'm loving that. Yeah, everyone in the audience is Mast right and I'm like even the Phantom The audience

Anyway, everyone is masked and and I'm loving that yeah And then and there's no musical performances in the first two hours, which are streaming exclusively on Paramount Plus Yeah, I watched them gotta see who gets that scenic design award. Yeah, of course So that they did that part. I'm like, well, I get I mean you had to do a scale-back thing But you know safety and then at 9 o'clock CBS picks up the feed, right? Yeah, and apparently they had saved all the performances for that double block and I feel like I Don't think it's fair if I'm elderly

Actor wearing my mask and the entire cast of Moulin Rouge gets to do one giant dry Hump on stage literally hundreds of people just dry humping Dry humping the chairs dry humping each other. Okay, so it wasn't just it unmasked dry It wasn't one dry hump because when you say that it makes it sound like it was like a huge punctuation at the end like a Slow pullback like a hive hump if you can imagine They're just all dry High-flying dry hump. Got it. Yes 2020's best musical Moulin Rouge

Congratulations. Congratulations. It sounds like everyone had a good time. Hey, listen Kasey Everyone seemed very relieved to not be in their house. Yeah, I think that seemed that seemed accurate It's at the winter garden to God, what a what a beauty. What a joy to see that Nature's healing the cracks in the sky garden theater. Thanks for fucked up for a while. Really? Yeah, but it's all better Everything's fine now. That's what Leslie said. Oh Leslie said everything's fine now. No, he didn't say that but he didn't say Broadway's back Which it is. Yeah. Yeah, how can anything be wrong if Broadway is right? Look at Adam look at Adam and Pascal up there doing his thing. He's he sounds great by the way

Everyone's not a great. What a great evening. Oh boy. They've been honing their crafts I think while they've been kicking it. That's that's the thing, right? If you haven't been learning at least three new skills by the end of it of the COVID What are we doing? Yeah, right? What are we even doing? So this is an advice show not just a bunch of guys getting excited about the Tony Awards because like It's exciting night. Yeah, sounds like yeah, absolutely Lynn did a great job by the way Of course he did. Oh, it's yeah, it's yeah. If there's one thing everyone knows about Lynn right can turn it on

Yeah, turn it on especially it seems like the procrastination It gets a better. Yeah, if there's one thing I leave there's two things everyone knows about Lynn one He can turn it on to he waits till the last minute on fucking Freestyle love supreme. They were making it up every night. What come on. You're kidding me every night You know sometimes I actually saw on the show and there were times where they asked the audience to do work for them Yeah, like you come up with an idea, right? That's why come on, right? It's like I paid to see you guys Yeah, you didn't pay to see me. Why should I give you? I think it's so lazy to rely on your audience So here's our first question. I work as a cashier at a store where we sell scented products

Excellent. Sometimes when a customer brings one of those items up, I like to take a sniff of it before I scan it Good. However, when I brought this up with a friend. She said she thought that was weird. Yes. Yes Should I stop? How unintentionally uncomfortable I have I made people that's from a wicked whiff of the west. That's very good Now I would In convention Now as an essential part of information has been lost here and that is if you are in a scenario where you are masked Yeah in this venue and you're having to like do the little sneaky pull down to get a little whiff

Now here's what I will say There is a part of me That I can see this like if you take a whiff and do because there's nothing I love more than the feeling of like when you order something off a menu or you go to buy something and the person says oh That's the best or that's my favorite and you feel like oh, I won I know I picked the best thing right whether it's true or not And so if you're like something like oh, this is my favorite one in the whole store I could see that adding to the customer experience, right?

But it also depends on how deep you huffin right because if you're like oh it can only like oh, I love this one But if you're like No, I think when it is your huff. Yeah, we can probably how deep Okay, stop this is a very musical episode. I want to get a Tony apparently I mean you could be checking for duds, right? Oh, yeah Like let's say back at it. This no, this is a croissant. Give me no get another one wait Travis when they say scented products. Do you think they mean baked goods? No, it's a candle You know how I have a French baguette candle. It's fucking incredible

You have a bread candle. Yeah, dude. It smells like bread. It's amazing. What a tease. Yeah Well, I also do baked bread though. So sometimes it's just to waft them in just keeping your family guests And yeah, yeah, yeah, keep them on keep that candle is that bread take a bite of it and find out I'm just saying There's no way that the these people that are making these candles are able to Quality control it so much that a dud doesn't sneak in there from time to time Yeah, that there isn't just one stinker that sneaks into the batch from time to time. I I my other question though, if you work in a place that's so jam-packed full of scents

Yeah, are you still getting much out of the experience? Because you would think after a while maybe at the beginning of a shift to put by like interesting four or five hours in You must be overloaded with that stank, right? Yeah Yeah, it's tough when you go into one of those places like the urscent It's just like not like just like that you think about it, right though You get a candle to smell something Different yeah, I like to smell like a different smell, right? That's so true. So if you combine all the candles in The in the shop

They're all just like different smells that you're not smelling then so if you go are outside the shop and that's like the world Yeah, yeah, yeah Then you go inside the shop and what you're basically getting is the anti scent, you know like the anti Like the opposite the polar opposite scent from you would get on earth You're smelling the opposite It's all the different smells that you're not smelling combined into one smell that is the opposite or the anti scent of I am a million percent sure we've talked about anti stink before. Oh, definitely. Yeah Hey Griffin at this point. We're like almost 600 episodes in all great. We've talked about everything dude

No, I know but are we cutting-edge? Scientists out because I'm not hearing anybody else talk about anti-scent the stink that reverses the state does opposite stink the cancel Sting yeah, there's no chair and my things like for breeze, right? That's what no no no we've talked about that too because that replaces that gives you like now It smells like lavender. I want well completely zero out Right, I want you know, like you go into a padded room and it's like so quiet because they put like the you know Acoustic stuff everywhere and like there's nowhere for sound to bounce off. I want that for smell But we have the opposite my bin baby because I feel like this raises like so we've at this point

Then we've talked about everything there is. Yeah, if we're making an opposite of this show. Is it like? Heavily researched alternate reality murt game murder mystery. Okay every week. There's new clues Yeah, this actually sounds badass and like something I like yeah like hard I think that is the that's the the the lodestone there is like or your your guiding star is like if it's hard Yeah, that's the opposite of what we do in our I think that the opposite of what we do on our show There was an opposite my brother my brother and me it would be like Coming up with non-silly very serious ideas that could change the world for the better and Then that would then funnel through a pipeline to our show and we would just ruin them by talking about like oh

That rhymes with fart or whatever the opposite of our show is like Ted talk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not it's like short and to the point Yeah, helpful smart doesn't ramble stays on top. It doesn't right like a visual aids Oh, yeah, yeah, like I mean that it like that the Ted talk is like the opposite It'd be like if Joe Rogan was like wicked smart instead cuz like we're we're also pretty we're also done like in a different Yeah, but we're done in a non-threatening sense, but he doesn't write it. This is what I'm saying It would need to be scripted. Yeah, it would need to be scripted if it's gonna be opposite of our show It would be scripted well rehearsed First oh definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it's hard to get less

Right. Yeah, we share DNA. Yeah, we're like a printing error away Hey, can I do a can I approach the wizards thrown humbly? Yeah, let's see what he has for us today This one's awesome. And this one's good for particularly the three of us Because this is something that well, maybe we don't have to worry about quite so much These days during the unpleasantness, but it is important for us to I think know how to sign a cool signature And thank you to Tori for sending this in I have wondered this before Yeah, I mean there's a few steps here and there's some interesting like things. I haven't even considered I think ballpark I've probably signed my name a

few like like 20,000 times I've signed my name a lot like in my life and I've never for instance Analyze my signature except to say oh you've analyzed your signature. Oh, yeah, baby. There was a I think I would guess And man, this isn't a joke maybe 14 or 15 years old I was like time to turn my signature into an autograph and I just Handcrafted a very specific Signing mechanism awesome. So like what's that mean for people who want to like forge checks of you? Well, I'm not gonna tell them that but mostly I just removed a lot of letters

That's that's an important step and that is a part of this It's think about which parts of your name you want to include which I've seen your signature for Travis It's to wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle and then that's it. No, I usually get the s on the end there, too So it's to we were we were Yeah Yeah, that's usually that's usually about as far as we get a lot of people don't know what an uppercase cursive G looks like So I'm always I'm always that's how weird the general Mills is what I usually turn That's and that's a good then that's also what I do every time I sign my name

I think about that great brand and how they do their G But it makes it turns me into a sort of international man of mystery Adjusting signature, you know what that is because everybody knows that J. It's friendly It looks like a fun little shoe that somebody and you guys imagine if your name was like Zeke And you had to sign that in cursive every time every time you put pen to paper and think how do I start this bad boy? Every time what's that even look like if it was Z E uppercase Q

God Zeke get out. That's fucking that's um, that's a maze You've drawn a children's maze. Yeah, no, no, no, thank you this cursive I was Google search cursive Z and there's like ten different one. No one Really, it's because the time they got to that letter in the alphabet everybody's like I'm so tired of coming up with squiggly Beautiful letters. Just have fun with it. Whatever you do. I just have fun Imagine being like in Britain and you got to write ZED anytime you want to put a Z Yeah, I and that's crazy because then it's like who's the deke and it's oh my god That's actually a very cool name draw inspiration from other signatures. Look at the signatures of other famous people

I'm just gonna go on Well, no, I mean, I'm not gonna start signing posters Walt Disney. Why not if you just said like well That's just what my signature looks like it says Griffin, but when I write it it looks like Walt Disney Yeah, there's some other examples here John Hancock. Obviously iconic. It probably took that dude 12 minutes to do this thing like There's so much calligraphy happening here and that there's like a little what is almost certain like a Mason Like signature like little emblem at the bottom. I'll tell you who fucks me up is Kervana get he draws He draws like a face well next to his with like hair and like a squiggly mustache and it's like

Curt you wrote quite a few books and probably signed your fair share of them You're really gonna do a little doodle, isn't it? Well in every one stank green doesn't anchor a fish every time and That is like who has the time like really stank green and Kurt Kurt Vonnegut I think yeah, do you think when John Hancock was signing the declaration of independence? Do you think he thought to himself? Certainly this won't be the most notable thing that I do. Yeah, certainly the Pika of my my signature won't be burning Shit, do you think that when he went first? He thought this is gonna be how big everyone signs up?

This is that is why this is right there like he did it first and he's like let's go. There is like well There's a lot of us John. Yeah, I wish okay You all got a fucking fit in here, buddy. You rude bitch I Just assumed we'd all write this thing. You didn't even ask us. Why would you do that simple math? You can see we can't fit on there with this curtain We only have one pot of ink my dude. This is 1776 are we supposed to pop down the staples come on? Hey, dude. Hey, dude. I'll think I think it'd be pretty dope

If like in Jurassic Park, we could bring John Hancock back and then he was like Looking around he's like damn Hamilton's huge and but I where's the old where's the Johnny And then he saw oh fuck wait there is a movie called Hancock I gotta get down on this and he goes he watches it and it's not what he wants it to be because it's like a Will Smith superhero wrong. I don't remember any of this. I don't remember dude. I don't remember any of it I don't remember having superpowers falling in love with Charlize. They're on But I'm doing that right now watching I'll try it. I'll give it a shot magnetic Underline your signature for emphasis. Whatever don't fucking do that. No, don't do that unless John Hancock did that

Yes, if it's part of a letter if you could do like an s at the end and then it goes So right back across the back like that if it's included as part of a letter I think yeah, he does he does he does a tail off his cake look at this Which goes down in and he does another H below his name. Yeah, just like he's ready to do a Reprise of Hancock and there was like all right stop Hancock to So then there's about like eight different variations on ad flourishes This one's amazing though. This person in these images by the way is signing their name wiki how which is fun Number six add numbers or symbols to your signature. Oh like Kasha

Okay, the symbols might include a team jersey number a simple sketch or a graduation year If you associate a specific number or symbol with your identity for instance If you're well known for your role on a sports team This may be a good way to publicly distinguish yourself from people with similar names It could also be a good called shot though If you're not distinguished as a sports team and you want to become so just start writing like Travis McRoy Number 25 and then we're like what but then like you do train and you put in the work And you get drafted by the Eagles in the first round and you're like this is a dream come true

And they're like your number 78 and you're like fuck Yeah, that's change can't be this one. Oh, sorry man. This one's already this guy's already got this one We trained is that something what they've done in this picture though is they've written the number 23 just like above The word wiki had the signature wiki how you can't I'm pretty sure if you do that on like for instance a check The bank is going to say this isn't valid You can't just the numbers live on the check in very specific We've made little homes for the numbers to live on in check and you can't just go writing shit like that down willy-nilly I I would also say and I'm looking this up because I might be wrong

But number 23 is Michael Jordan, right like which is awesome Which is an awesome number to put down there But like I know that and I don't know anything about sports So I think if you just want to start putting number 23 and people were like is that your number in back now, man It's a big fan of George. Yeah, so a lot of Jordan. I hate I hate you know I hate writing checks why because pretty a lot of the time it's got the word 40 on there and I got to write the word It's like it's like six or seven minutes. It's just like It's like trying to dig deep like is that you in there or not is a tough one. Oh my god, Justin, okay

I Thought you were saying I thought you were saying Because you are a 40 year old man. Is that you Justin inside the number? I wasn't even thinking about the spelling of the word 40, but yeah, man You got to write that something you have to write the word and it's like how do you spell I was right there? No one knows I thought Justin was having an existential crisis But that's but that's no, no, no, I should have been more clear like you have to write the the For the kids that haven't written checks

Because I know a lot of teens I'm not writing checks. You got to write the the words of the numbers. We have Come on you can't keep saying that That's not our job. Yeah, that's right like that accountability is not it's not our problem You know what the my least favorite part of writing checks is what my leaf Cyrus is favorite part of rain check Probably signing them in cash to take him to the big bank. Where's my checkbook? You know what I mean? Like where's that thing? I use it once a year. Hey, Billy Ray Billy Ray

God damn it Billy Ray. He probably calls him dad. Don't you think like no, no, no fucking way. No way. No, really Yeah, no way. No way. I maybe before he had that collab. I was Lil Nas X Yeah, and then like before that it was probably dad, but he's like no, honey. No, I'm Billy Ray I'm back. I think they just did a goof about me on Great British Bake Off. I'm back I bet Billy Ray was kind of pissed off that he couldn't translate that's that success in the other I got some other stuff in my catalog. He got some good love. Yeah, I bet he just eats passively earning money all the time Justin come on. I mean, I'm sure that that goes down. I think Billy Ray counts himself very lucky on days where he gets called Billy Ray In the house in the household and not just like Miley's dad or hey, hey dipshit. Hey, get me my checkbook scum nut

Billy Ray Cyrus, okay, he's from sort of our neighborhood, right from Flatwoods, Kentucky It's not too far from our neck of woods Billy Ray Cyrus has this Jaimundo hit with a key breakie heart filmed at the Paramount Theater when Ashley yeah, if you ever watch that video It's right right around here So Billy Ray has this Jaimundo hit right and it's like he sorts of fade away and everybody's like well That was a cool run with Billy Ray. I wonder whatever happened that dude. He's like oh psych my daughter's the most famous person on the planet Wait till you hear my new release swing at it huh Billy daughter. Oh my daughter's the most famous person on the planet All right, so Billy Ray's back. Oh, he's on Hannah Montana. He's back and then it just when it starts to ebb

He's back in like the biggest song on the planet right this dude. We keep putting him back at bat It's wild how he just keeps like finding his way. Yes. You have summoned Lucid. Oh, hey Billy Ray Yeah, it's okay. You want to sell your soul again? Oh man. I don't know it's been like five times, dude Like I don't know if we can keep making this deal my man. All right. Yeah. Yeah, you got it You want to be on dr. Quinn medicine one? Okay? Yeah, sure. Are you sure? Okay sign here in blood man. Yeah, you got it Oh, okay. Hey Trav I don't But it's not Billy Ray Cyrus. Dr. Good medicine woman. It's just a guy that looks like him. Are you sure he was on something?

percent it looks a lot like and hold on hold on No, we're no one is good. You're thinking of doc doc. Thank you. Yes the series where this it's a fantasy series Right, right, right. Yes, you can see how I get this confused though, right? Yeah, I assume there's some kind of crossover there They probably had a crossover episode like in crisis on infinite Earths When they made that show, I mean there had to be an episode where somebody's like this guy's heart is fucked up And Billy Ray just starts sweating like oh shit. They're gonna make me they're gonna make me do it His heart's a really really really fucked up man Doctor something's wrong with it. I don't know it's by all our medical measurements. His heart seems fine

But it's it's really fucked up. Dr. Billy Ray Cyrus. I've got aches and You might call it a break Doc is a young Christian bachelor Mountains of Montana who brings the small town values and ideology to an environment that seems to lack familiarity with them Wikipedia get a little judgey Yeah, this this small town doctor from real America. Thanks, wiki. Hey man, Montana's a great name

You guys ever think about Hey Let's take a quick break and head on over to the money zone Where space we've talked about it so many times you guys that I don't even know what they do Yeah, we really What the ad cut we just read it like this doesn't you don't think about it, you know All this stuff is scripted like it's all every single word we say mm-hmm Well, the money zone is kind of my chance to just really check out and

Think about like how's the show going so far? Like what could I do to improve in the second half? This is kind of our halftime. So like when I say that like with Squarespace, you can make a beautiful website What's that even mean? You know I mean like you can showcase your work on this beautiful website What are these words that I'm saying sell products and Services of all kind promote your physical or online business. Is it a physical business like a gym where you get physical? I don't even know no one knows right Apparently Squarespace gives you beautiful customizable templates created by world-class designers. What's a designer? That sounds great. Is it designer I don't know these words

Everything optimized for mobile right out of the box apparently comes in a box, which is pretty cool Your cat can play in it analytics to help you grow in real time. I like growing I'm getting bigger every day is what the doctor says They've got free and secure hosting and nothing to patch or upgrade ever unless you want to put cool patches on your jean jacket I suppose so go to squarespace.com slash my brother for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use the offer code My brother or one word to save 10% how much is that don't know? Off your first purchase of a website or domain Squarespace It's a thing. It's the thing. It's real stamps.com is also sponsoring us this week

They have everything that you need to make a piece of paper go from one end of the country to the other fucking end of the country What? Yeah If you and that's something you do a lot of you do a small business because there's sometimes Shit's got to go places and you can't walk it there so stamps.com is a Like go a weapon that you use to harness the incredible power of the US Postal Service And UPS other places you can just print that freaking shit right from your computer

Incredible It's amazing and I don't care if you're sending office like office invoices or Etsy business tools or If you have a warehouse even Full of stuff. Yeah, then stamps.com makes your life easier You just need a computer and a standard printer No special supplies or equipment and also you can get exclusive discounts on postage and shipping from USPS and UPS Now griffin

Is it saying because I bought the warehouse and it was full of stuff and I didn't know that when I bought it I thought it was a big anti warehouse that I could like run around in and do it Yeah, I'm playing freeze tag and shit. Yeah paintball fights and stuff and now I just got it's crates and crates of minion dolls And I have no not even stuffed. These are like anatomically like figures. Yeah, like nine inch Plastic hard plastic and they don't move. There's no points of articulation and I don't know you say yeah Yeah, and this is and this is again folks Completely scripted. Yeah, that stamps wanted us to say this next part Travis when you say anatomically correct minion dolls. Yeah, what does that mean specifically and read it right off the script

Okay, it shows the banana fuck that sucks this show sucks now It used to be And this is still in the script. I fucking hate that stamps made us say this part, but it used to be something Why I don't understand why stamps made us did a great our own live gas. Oh, it says here we're a bunch of silly doo-doo boys Oh, well, I'm a silly doo-doo that trousers. There's actually four days. Oh, yeah, if you read it, you do boy And this is it just and then can we stop reading the script for a second No, you had to finish it on it We won't be free from this black candle will be locked in the ether realm for all time

So say set us free save time and money with stamps calm There's there's no risk and with my promo code my brother You get a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a digital scale no long-term commitments or contracts Just go to stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type my brother That's stamps.com promo code my brother stamps.com never go to the post office again Hey folks, it's me James Arthur M host of minority corner your home through these bewild times for weekly doses of pop Culture history news nerdy stuff and more through a BIPOC queer and allied lens sexy ass from moonlight Who's in the third act of moonlight Trevante Rhodes? Who was like?

Yeah, I do yeah, I do This is just you know what it's with a long hand to the girl. What are you doing now to deconstruct this system? He basically Did a covert genocide of black people So join me and some of your new BFFs every Friday here on maximum fun to stay informed empowered and have some fun Minority corner because together we're the majority Let's see I live in Denver, Colorado The air up here very thin and dry to the city's elevation as a consequence

My skin is always super dry Every winter I look forward to getting cracked Bloody knuckles. Why do you look anytime a stiff breeze rolls through because of this? I always carry small portable Bottle of lotion in my backpack anywhere I go and every single time I busted out to reapply lotion on my knuckles or face Someone has to make a joke about why a guy in his 20s would actually have lotion on hand. Wow. You're so horny Wow, you're so horny you can't even wait until you get over work Geez, man. Anyways, that'll be 1495

More like jizz, man I am getting pretty sick for the same joke over and over and over again brothers Is there any way I can make the joke stop? Are there any witty responses? I should be using or do I need to accept my fate and prepare Myself for a lifetime of jokes about whether the lotion is being applied. That's for moisturizing Not masturbating in the mile-high city Love Denver Blucifer big scary blu-ser is a nice nice people

Snowboarding jump ramps love it anybody masturbating everywhere this it sucks that It it's 2000 and 21 and Everybody's moisturizing. Yeah, and it seems like the people who are doing this to you Are the ones who deserve derision and not you because I think we've all realized that It's tough out here. So why not keep it? Like what like wet keep it what you know what I mean like

Why not put that lotion on it and feel better for how it feel moisturizing good for it The the problem here question asked is you can really only deal with this one person at a time Like unless you get some kind of grapevine going where it's like, hey, don't make that joke to Jim man. He's He's sick of it. Yeah, you're gonna have to do this one person at a time But I'll give you the response that I think would work best Justin. Can you please say the prompt to me? The like the one that's outlined here. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. You're so horny. You can't even wait until you get it from work Jiz man. What do you mean? Like I'm you use the cream to masturbate wait what it's a joke

Yeah, it's a joke about how you can use cream for a better masturbation experience No one actually does it. I don't think but it is a fun joke from high school. What are you talking about? Yeah, well, you see you have cream and you use it to squeeze your part until The just comes out from the good feeling are you making this up? No, no, no, it's a popular joke. Here. Come here. Oh, let me open my computer Yeah, I'll show you some of the different things about it. You see now. I'm surprised you don't know about this Okay, well see what happens is you

Use the lotion on your I believe in some nations is called a tallywhacker And you use the lotion on there to help the just come better, but why oh Well, it's supposed to be a better feeling. I don't know. I've never tried it myself, but it isn't it's sort of a fun joke and freeze Has this ever happened to you? Hi everyone, it's me dr. Anthony Fauci We pretty much polished off the COVID stuff and so now I moved on to another subject this dear dear to my heart And that's using the lotion for when you

Touch it touched it good to make the stuff come out I'm a doctor and I've been studying my whole life about this one very cool thing Which is what? It's weird I got called up for this other thing And I the whole time I tried to hint that this was a nasty thing that I liked a lot During my mini press conferences, but people then got pretty pissed off of me and they don't know that I'm a good time guy Anyway, when you touch it to make it feel good the lotion even is better for you and just think about it The man has suffered enough

You can't put him through this Just let him have his good times Just let him know because if we say it for long enough on the show Then it becomes Canada this weird sort of splinter reality created and then anytime anybody talks about Fauci Yeah, it's gonna be like my wife's gonna talk about Fauci and people be like he's that guy that loves the Lotion on it when you touch it makes it feel better It's me dr. Fauci again, it makes it feel like the real deal And that's and that's awesome to me make it feel like the real deal with dr. Fauci's goo

Fauci goo Is he selling a brand of it or is this a public? Justin it's like how sometimes there's just commercials for beef. Yeah Get together and it's like it beef y'all get it Nobody's eating beef. Hey, we need to get people talk about milk. How are we gonna talk about milk? Yeah, okay? So I'm sorry about that Dr. Fauci, I don't know how to solve this problem I keep a bottle of lotion next to the bed and my wife has been calling it my spank lube for 12 years

Nothing I can do about it can't stop no matter how many times I'm like, it's not funny anymore, honey she keeps going with it and There's nothing be done. It's someone you pull out your lotion to point your hands and they're like, oh You're so worried but we'll use your that lotion to masturbate and you say I don't use this lotion to masturbate And then you pull out a second bottle and you go use this lotion to masturbate. It's way cheaper It's not a masturbation lotion This is hand lotion. It's like $20 a bottle this it's like 50 cents for like two gallons My man, and it gets the job done. It's dr. Fauci's give

Gotta buy him. I gotta buy him bulk. Yeah, I Bait so much I go through gallons of this. Where you going go come back I've had a cat for about four years now and nobody my family gets her presents This seemed normal until my mom got a puppy and my brother got a girlfriend with a dog. Wow We really gotta get some other commas in here or something to help me decode this one Okay, so no be my family gets your presents. That's the normal until my mom got a puppy and my brother My brother got a girlfriend with a dog. It's like really fucking me up right now I know we're just having a lot of fun. I can't part

Yeah, he used a dog to get a girlfriend. No, he got a girlfriend and the girlfriend has a Dog I think I don't think I don't think that's right Maybe the mom getting a puppy somehow led to the but my mom got a puppy and so Yeah, it's a one-up her my brother got a girlfriend with a dog take that mom Okay, English is not specific moving on now everyone in my family gets the dogs presents for gift-giving holidays But still never gets my cat anything Yeah, I felt like my cat is being left out and isn't considered a member of the family despite being around the longest How do I get my family start buying my cat's presents? That's from cat friend in Chicago

You probably can't yeah, I own two dogs and a cat. I've had the cat longer. So that said dogs are inherently doofy and Silly boys even though mine are two girls and they when they get presents They lose it right you give a dog a chew toy or a bone or something and you you're like God Showering mana upon the people right you give a cat a present They'll look at it and then walk away. Maybe they'll play with it when you're not in the room But they're not going to show you any kind of excitement when you give it to like it that doesn't yeah

It's not satisfying to give a cat a present You know right really don't I got my cat. It's funny. I got my cat's been crying a lot My cat really has been crying a lot. So I'm trying to cheer her up By getting her some new stuff to interact with her around the house and I got this a little like it's not little it's like a Crinkly tunnel nice with a bed in the middle. It's pretty big. I mean, it's it's pretty big It's not inconsiderable and I put it out a while ago and I realized like I've never seen her do that Like be in it or on it. Yeah, and it occurred to me like

This is art. Oh, it's a piece. I mean, it's just now. It's just a piece right now It's just an installation if I had a dog, but I could tell the dog like can you please interact? Oh, yeah, absolutely Please if you wiggle it. I really gotta egg on my face on this if you wiggle something near a dog They're like, okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. I'm right on that man The number of times that I've held something up to my cat and I've realized after a couple seconds like I look like an idiot Like the cat is just staring me like I I know what you want. Don't get it twisted I know you want me to play with that thing. I'm not interested in that man And like I don't know what to tell you do we're at an impasse here

I'm just saying that my cat is way cooler than me real stinker. I know I love her so much. It's just like She's too good for me. I don't deserve her. I just don't have pets. And so I feel like this is Exclude like excluding me because I don't really have anything to say. I don't have anything to say about cuz I don't have any Well, you have kids and they're kind of like pets, right? Yeah, I don't yeah, I don't like my cat. Yeah, right? I like one of my dogs a lot more than the other one and I think that I think they know I mean, I don't have pets, but I feel like that's the kind of thing when you say people don't like it No, listen, I love them both. I just love one a lot more Let me yeah

It's perfect. Yeah, just like kids. Just like brothers. I don't know Cats are doing their own thing cats also like dogs don't have a movie about them by Andrew Lloyd Webber So there's well, I mean all dogs go to heaven Let's not by Andrew Lloyd Webber. That's okay. If you're saying specifically dogs don't have a movie by Andrew Lloyd Webber I can't argue with you there good I could I could argue that. Okay. Okay. Yeah, they do Dogs have a bad dogs have a badass movie by Andrew Lloyd Webber. What's it called dogs?

You think you made it you think you made a movie you think you made one called cats And then he was like time to make one for dogs and he was like mr. Mr. Fluffer's magic day at the city. No, I thought they called it fucking dogs. I Guarantee many worse Comedy people than yeah have been like what if he did a musical about right and that's but it's our turn a little So it's our turn. Yeah, I don't want I don't want this that bat I want to just move on and I help other I bet I could take a good swing I don't want to do one of them. I think I could crank it out of the park and dunk a song from dogs

I think that's yeah, can you just sing one song from dogs sure sure sure Look, thanks grace. Here we go all my beautiful bones God Why have you forsaken me? My bones They They These bones of mine wait

Oh no In the city oh well my beautiful bones in the city I When the night And the moon Who am I what? Oh god That's uh, that's and that's the first that's the opening song of dogs

Mr. Lloyd Webber I have a quick question. Was it the dogs bones for chewing griffin andrew? Is it about the bones in that he's been chewing on like the bones of his body That's oh, thanks travis. It's like that's the fucking thing You found the art. Oh, I see Because dogs like bones But it's also a part of them. Thank you travis for listening and having basic sort of art appreciation skills We've been like chugging through so quickly that I wanted to take a quick moment To tell us a quick story. Oh, thank god. We've been so laser focused up to this point. Yeah, this is what I'm saying

So our daddy clint clint macaroy You might know him from radio or the adventure zone or 40 years of outstanding like top of the heap Morning radio here in the tricep area community service. You know, he's out there community service He's on the hunting wall of fame like, you know, so uh, he was not feeling well and his wife carol

who Like considers these things texts to say Your dad just a text Sydney actually and said clint had to go to um The doctor to get tested because he was feeling sick his old bones Because the dot no because the doctor said to him that it was either they suspected either Uh, uh, a strep throat You know, like everybody gets 14 times when they're in middle school

or The novel coronavirus which has been such a such a problem in the case. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's the one Yeah, that's the one. So I'm on pins and needles. Yeah over here. Yeah, you know, like, oh my gosh When my well my dad knows something so maybe six or seven hours go by it's getting towards the evening And I'm like, I gotta I gotta just see what's going on because I'm losing my mind over here I text the guy. I'm like dad. Did you ever hear anything about your tests? And he says I'm one. I don't want to just like Spoiler alert, uh, just to jump ahead so no one's waiting. Uh, yeah, that's fine. Okay

This is verbatim. Have you heard anything about your tests? He texts back on phone now hang on negative And I say, uh, what a relief. I'll let Sid know And dad said, I know thanks for checking on me. Now what now what would you Listener think that my dad meant I'll give you a hint because the 24 hours later the next evening

The next evening I'm having dinner with my family My other family, my wife's family. I get texts from my dad to me and travis and griffin that said Negative on my covet test. Now boys, I do want to ask did dad Communicate to you before this that he was being tested for the novel coronavirus Only when I facetimed him 15 minutes before he sent this text message. I haven't spoken to dad Oh in weeks weeks, yeah

Negative on my covet test. I said, uh, I dad told me yesterday, but I cared enough to call him awesome flex Yeah, and then dad said That was the strap test I just got covet results. Now my dad then My dad clint macaroy Told me I had said have you heard anything about your tests For covet and strap and he's just says negative. He hasn't heard anything about both. Justin

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no my friend on phone now Negative, okay, and then I said, uh, what a relief. He probably thought what a whack thing to say I was so worried that you had strep throat. I was so worried you'll have to eat popsicles for a day I was so worried about your strep throat I don't know why we're litigating this on on the on the air. I mean it's a I said the boy's a screenshot Because I couldn't believe I couldn't believe now on the one hand like I guess I'm kind of jazzed that I didn't have to worry about my dad having code for for a whole day

That I kind of appreciated but it was non-intentional Yeah, I just don't worry about anything uh ever Oh, that's a good way. Don't worry. Be happy. Yeah, man. It works a secret You guys ever try to just like everybody at home try this next time you start to worry about something Just don't just don't nothing else instead. Yeah, just turn it off. Just tune out, you know, uh I bet it's like Can you imagine I you know being worried and concerned and anxious is like a part of everyday life, especially

Can you imagine Being bobby mcfarad in the last five years like yeah It's any it's like any Really need you more than ever bobby. Please put out. Well like if bobby's like I don't know about the state of the world guys I'm starting to everyone like turns looks I'm like Bobby you No, no, no, not you. No, no, no Please no no not like this

Um, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. It's called my brother my brother and me. Hey, did you miss our live show? It went really well from what I could get gage from the audience response But you can still watch it. It's uh, you got two weeks of access If you go to bit.ly forward slash mb mb am virtual you can watch and enjoy Uh, solvents live show where we try to rebrand vaccines as a tic-tac-lunas trend and the my brother my brother me show Featuring, uh, richard stank and some of our other great bits and thank you to everybody who uh, Watched and was tweeting about it and it was you got us trending up there and it just it made it feel like a shared experience Like a regular old live show and really appreciate that. It was nice. It was nice. I really I really

also wanted everyone to know, uh, if you were a fan of mine and teresia's, uh, Great british bakeoff watch a long show bake on We have started a new season of it to go with the new season of great british bakeoff So it's up now in your pod catchers if you search for bake on you should be able to find it Uh, and we're gonna try to keep that going on a regular basis. So if you enjoyed that check it out Uh, also, thank you to rachel our editor, uh for for my brother my brother and me and a bunch of other of our shows Couldn't do it without rachel. Thank you rachel. Thank you rachel for your continued, uh, excellent work and patience As we say just a bunch of bogus stuff that definitely hits that cutting room four. I imagine you could

I imagine you could like Snowboard down all the all the cell cell celluloid that's on the floor Hey, thank you to montane for these four themes on my life is better with you Uh, that that tracks out there that tracks circulating um I've seen it on a lot of the top Torrent sites, uh, it's all over napster and it's all over napster a lot of people seating this one. So catch it The video is so good and fun and um, yeah

That's yeah If you haven't yet macraymerch.com could check out all the cool stuff there But especially the pen of the month because you've only got a couple days left to get that And the proceeds from that benefit the world's intro kitchen Hey, should we wrap it up with our final yahoo? Yeah, griffin. What's the final yahoo that you had to do it? This one was sent in by rand Paul oh, okay rand paul wait the same one about that. I swear to god

I swear to god it's rand paul sent and it's just for legal purposes. Do you want to clarify that? It's not the one it is the one from paul's ticks. Oh boy. Okay Okay, yeah the one who says all this stuff Oh, okay. Yeah All right, he just sent it in he didn't ask it Oh, no wait. Yeah, he did shit He did that he sent it in and asked it that seems weird. I don't think you should be able to do that You're like

Seems legally dicey to say that it seems weird to no it's not legally dicey It just seems weird that he's like hey check out this great yahoo. I wrote you know what I mean Yeah, anyway rand paul asks Uh Fucking what did he fucking ask shoot Isn't it on your screen right there because you read the other information. Yeah google does this thing now where it auto translates Everything on the page to what random language random languages every time Oh, I'll run it back through google translate converter and see what it what it gets out of it. Okay

Um Hello Does anyone know what to do My name my Hi, it's me rand paul. Okay. Yeah Once upon a time I misspelled my name and left off the y at the end

And it's been so long. I do not know how to go back and fix this Can anyone please help me just start calling me randy paul and try to get this Spreading all around the world I really I really need your help on this one. I promise I'll I'll be better I'll I think randy paul would be a better guy I think randy paul has more to give this world than I do Please please Please only refer to me as randy paul for my

Thank you. God bless you and god bless america When it was just i was mackerel. I'm griffin mackleroy. This has been my brother. My brother be kiss you bad square on the lips It's better with two Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported