My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 580: Density of Fifty Hard Boiled Eggs

Episode Date: October 4, 2021

This is the third episode of MBMBaM we’ve recorded in a single week, and we honestly think it’s the best one. It’s also entirely about eggs.Suggested talking points: The Stunt Spectacular, Clippy’s Corpse, Non-Newtonian Chili, The Driest Justin, Sentient Cyber-restaurant, We Have Always Rung the Cheese BellSupport AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate For resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up you cool, baby? I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better It's better it's better

It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me and advice show for the Modgenera I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy, and I'm your middlest brother big dog of a woof woof Travis woof woof McElroy woof woof And this is and this is Griffin I'm sorry guys. Whoa. Are we just gonna pretend like what happened? Didn't happen. What in what way griff? What do you mean? So we really are doing this then pretending like it didn't happen. What are you talking about though folks Moments before we started recording Justin Justin said

Justin said to shut up. He said shut up I was trying to I was complimenting Griffin on a new wallpaper. Wow, I have a new wallpaper and Travis was paying me what was maybe the first compliment. He's ever given anyone and Well, I give compliments, but they're usually like you have a great brother name Travis. Travis shut up Travis shut up for a second Oh, just fuck shit Travis is it just was like shut up and it's like It sucked like it sucked it and put a such a steep hey Griffin Can I talk to Justin for just a second? I don't remember this. Hey Griffin. Could you step over there?

I guess so. Thank you. Hey Justin. Yeah I was ready to team up with Griffin against you because you said shut up to me But then Griffin just said shut up to me and it's a much fresher that directed at you I actually did not get that sense. Yeah, it was directed at me So if you if I could just step in here. No, hey, shut up. I'll talk you and me saying shut up I didn't I know but that one didn't cat that one did not count You and me could team up against Griffin if you want cuz oh, that's cool. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, okay. Well, okay Hey Griffin, you can come back over

Do-do-do-do-do-do. Oh fuck why did I walk so far away? Hold on guys Almost there. Okay Almost there. Whoa too close I'll back up and I'm back you. What's up guys? Hey, fuck you. No, I don't think so bud No, that wasn't it. It's not actually what you put a little bit too much sauce on it and juice if can you actually Step out. Yeah. Yeah, I'll step out of the room. No, I'm sorry. I want Travis to step out. I need you Justin I need you. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, sorry. Let me I'll go out on the credenza. You go in the credenza will go in the veranda. Okay, which I actually don't know if a

Credenza is something you can go. No, it's like a chest or drawers. I'm gonna stand on top of it All right, you stand on top of that chest of drawers. It's really tall though. I can't hear you. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Do stand on there now do a fucking flip Okay Yeah, baby. Oh cool Yeah, I've been better than our usual thing. Why don't we never do stunts? That's a good question Griffin you do is hey Could you oh, you know what can you jump from the couch? To that big box TV we have and onto the recliner. Um, yeah, hold on

I that was the sound of me doing it. I like the part where you bounce off the ceiling like nightcrawler Thanks, and now Justin eat this whole bicycle. I Don't tire spokes and all baby pedals the whole kitten caboodle. I'd rather not do that. I'm sorry, okay Well, you're out. Is that okay? Is that okay? No, yes, so people paid for a stunt spectacular Yeah, I did the thing where I ramped my jet ski through the big ring of fire Griffin fought that shark and now you need to eat this bicycle you can eat the bice I'll give you a choice Justin Okay, you can eat you can eat the bicycle or catch or catch this bullet Or catch a bullet

Catch the bullet how with with what body part my stomach do you want me to throw it underhand or overhand? Well, I'm catching it Overhand yeah Travis, but not too hard Travis. It is still a bullet. Yeah. No, I actually got so uncomfortable now that we brought Bullets into it. Oh, no, it's just like a nerf. Yeah nerf dart It's just having fun in the living room, and I don't even know where one gets a bullet Yeah, right. Is there like a bullet store? Who's even heard of that? I mean clearly there's a bullet store, but do you walk in and do you are you like let me get um Five five bullets. Is that tell me what kind of bullets I need right? I don't know

They they love it at the gun store when you walk in you're like, what's a good number of bullets for a beginner? Yeah, what's a starter bullet like I don't want like don't give me a complicated bullet with a bunch of moving parts Just give me like a bullet that I can plant in the ground and a gun will grow from you know And what kind of gun you working with son? Not like a normal size It's kind of like gray but also kind of black I Give me the give me the succulent of bullets, please just something real easy I want to say it's a club from gold night, but that's probably not anything right. It's gold

It's I cannot think of a I cannot think of a store where I would be more out of my element Oh, yeah, I'm for things than gun store. Oh, yeah, which is good because I won't need to do that Right, like I have a demonstration plan. What of your guns could best hold a daisy that I'll slip into the barrel Oh, yeah, yeah, I love that. I love that. I love that I Um, I cannot imagine The the only thing you know when like you order a fancy bottle of wine because you're trying to feel like a fancy person and then they pour a Little bit in a glass and you're supposed to smell it and you're like, I don't know what the fuck this is Yeah, I would worry about the moment when I was at a gun store

And I said like I'll try that gun, please and they handed it to me and it would go in my hand And I would think what am I supposed to be checking for like? Yep, that's a gun Yep. Yeah. Yeah, I just throw that for sure Well, this is this one went this one has been a good intro. I think I don't yeah. Yeah. Oh, man What's wrong juice just all this What I'm fine. Sorry, I couldn't find the email and I found the email Oh, I didn't want to derail everything because it's like there is a limited number of things you guys can do I just don't know is this you didn't want to derail it

So you made maybe one of the worst human noises I've ever heard I was second guessing the introduction It's very visual Oh, you know, I didn't I didn't even think about that for a podcast Record it for it because you know, we did the live show. It was a smashing success And but it had a lot of visual elements to it. Yeah, maybe got in the habit of including visual elements Yeah, you know, we'll just put the video up for it because I you guys have been like recording your video every time We do a podcast, right? I've been recording a screen share of your guys's video

Oh my god, this is so awkward Griffin. I've been recording a screen share of your guys's video Whoa, okay. So that explains the sort of tesseract Yeah, that we created inside of my windows operating system and why and why clippy died Yep, man. I miss clippy funeral for a friend. I miss him so much. Remember when planners killed mr Peanut they could do that for clippy and there'd be much adroicing. I think everybody'd be excited about that You're bringing back. You mean? Well, no, they would never bring him back. That's the thing. He died stay dead I don't like mr They learned their lesson with mr

Peanut when they were like and now he's a baby peanut and now he's back to being normal again and it's like Oh Yeah, this is a trick. The whole thing was a trick get these guys. It was advertising Yeah, we're just pretending the nuts are still the nuts this time. They'll be like clippy got very Clippy got sick and he passed away and he will not be a baby this time. Thank you for watching because that's not At company how paper clips work if you want you can kind of bend them into a triangle And if you arrange it correctly, you know kind of pop up when you drop it on the table Do you want to do that with clippy's corpse?

And you can pretend like that's a That's his body still alive and moving around cranking doing. I mean, that's the good news Even when clippy dies, he could still effectively work as a paperclip. Yeah, you did still hold paperclips. Yeah He doesn't die. He just becomes a less sentient paperclip a better paperclip if you want he doesn't teach you about headers and footers but You're gonna keep your documents. Yeah. Yeah, yeah for sure. I mean not like a staple a staples way better I think we all agree. This is the worst introduction. We've ever done in the 580 episodes. I think we can all agree Anyone who has not already bought into the franchise in a pretty major way at this point has to be out

Well, every 580 episodes you got to reset back to zero and build up again. We're below that Oh, no, well, we've been we've been absolutely crushing the intros lately. I think is the feedback we always get um So I I I think that it's nice for us to just remind people that like what the low at low point looks like The nadir if you will and i'm not sure if i've ever said that word correctly Nadir is the good one, right? Well zenith is the good zenith is the good when nadir is the worst one Yeah, agree to disagree We've done a lot this show several times this week

It's our third time doing this show We did this show several times in the past week because of scheduling conflicts that are let's be honest our own fault Yeah And now we have we have arrived at this point where you are hearing this and we're recording it and that's all that's promise or intended This is an advice show Here's my first piece of advice If you're doing a comedy podcast

Especially during a pandemic where your maybe mental state has been not great as a result of the ongoing unpleasantness Don't try to do three comedy podcasts that are in one week You'll never recover not to mention several other podcasts several other podcasts now We are sometimes we try to do funny skits like adventure zone adventure zone is like skit after skit after sketch after so many skits I have a friend who loves Godzilla Then why don't they marry him?

Yeah, why don't you marry Godzilla? I found this great video of the fight between Godzilla and king kong from Godzilla versus king kong. Fuck. Yes Sorry from Godzilla versus kong. Yeah, let's let's be sad words. I need a hero from shrek 2 hell. Yeah Wait, is that a special version? Yeah, wait a minute Do you think that I need a hero is part of the score of The orchestration of shrek 2. Okay, wait. Now what okay What Who wrote all star?

smash in his mouth Now, okay to be fair, okay in shrek It is sung by the fairy godmother character. So it is a different person singing in for saunas. Yeah, so if you specifically use that version Then I understand what you're saying. Okay. Okay. Okay. I got I am with you now Oh, ps if I could just take a quick shirk related diversion. Yeah, I went over to pick up my daughter You do not have to ask permission. I don't need permission. I went over to pick up my daughter from Mimi's house and Mimi said uh cooper told that cooper's are three girls Mimi said cooper told daddy what movie you've been watching today uh on repeat and she looks me dead in the eyes and goes

Some bobby ones I hate the sharpest tool babe a shade. Oh my god. Oh god. It's such an old star It's on Uh, okay, so I was reading the question. Oh, yeah The problem is this friend has casting one other thing real quick. Sure. Yeah. Yeah Fight between guzzling kinkong whipped ass. I mean not seen from shrek 2 whips ass Yeah, but I want to talk about my thing first. That's that movie whips ass It's so good. These two big boys are awesome individually

Oh, when you get them together you put them together and they cannot do I thought gonzala was a lady because matthew broadrick said she was having babies That's non canonical non canonical The problem is can I talk about the matthew broadrick? No, yeah What's up with that role in emirate produced 2000 godzilla featuring a soundtrack full of absolute bangers Smashers better than I just don't understand how godzilla fit in madison square garden Without tearing the roof. Okay. Sorry. Okay. Okay. Travis. Please. Let's try to to focus. Okay, right, right?

You got then folds five. Yeah doing air. Yeah, if you ever heard that one. Yeah, there's a Fucking there's that great version of um cashmere ride with me. Oh, yeah. Oh my god I believe that's shawn puffy combs. Oh, and you and obviously the wallflowers are in this one. Yeah, sure. Sure. Sure You know what I mean? Man puff daddy's track is good. Yeah come with me That was my first exposure to cashmere and when I heard cashmere, I was like dang You guys remember that in a major way a huge way. All right, so we're okay now That hangs areas in a

What's the wall flowers? It's the hero. It's just a cover of heroes, isn't it? All right, most of our audience was not alive when this foot came out. So let's go Do you remember the huge taco bell tying with that too or the the? Chihuahua like talk to godzilla in like a scene in a commercial The problem is that this friend has the same name as my no-nonsense landlord And when I went to send this amazing video to my friend, I accidentally Yo, hey, thanks for letting me live here. You ever see these big boys really get it on Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Check out this video. You know that right? You know my landlord frank maraschino

Who is somehow I don't know how you know two people named frank maraschino That seems wild to me, but um check out these two big boys And I know what you're thinking. Oh, this is great now. I'm mute the video. That's right It's I need a hero from trek 2 not the original version version of I need a hero Why yes, it is I thought you loved this. Can I get a discount on next month? Next month is free. You showed me this big lizard fight this huge You live here for free now. You're my you're my child

now Is the hero you need me? I understand the message. I want to finish the question. Oh, right. Yeah, that would be dope We've been reading it for like 10 minutes. I accidentally sent it to my landlord who is on vacation in greece Even better. That's where Godzilla's from three ten in the morning It's been three days and I've only received the read receipt so I know he saw it my question brothers is What do I do when my landlord comes home and inevitably asks me about this video next time? I see him that's from needing a hero in georgia. You just say pretty good, huh?

How you like There I mean, okay, I think you just look at straight the eyes and there's three reactions like so what do you think? Yeah, you put it back in their court and they say pretty cool. Like, yeah, yeah, I thought you'd like it pretty bad Oh, you must not have watched it because these did you watch it together the time of their lives Did you watch the whole thing because there's twists and turns or I think the most likely thing is they're They're in greece on vacation for three weeks

One, maybe they don't have maybe they didn't spin the dosh to get like Fat pipes and they don't want to download a series of glossy jpegs that form together to make a great fight See with the track music. Maybe they don't want to spin their their uh, their gigs their giggle bites to download that There's a chance they haven't watched it, but Even if they did start Booting it up if I see that I'm like, listen, this is great, but I really need to be at home to enjoy it Yeah, yeah, or I need to get in my comfy slippers Maybe just respond

Like respond to your own email and say like hey, it's been three days and you still haven't addressed my concerns double down And and when it's like your concerns like yeah, this is a real issue. I'm facing in my apartment Yeah, I just wanted to say that the reason I sent this to you and the text got cut off. So I'm sorry, but um In this video, I said you are kong and my complaints about the property or Godzilla and every time you're out there Crushing my complaints and doing battle against it You're really keeping me satisfied as a tenant and I'm sorry that that text got cut off because without that context It's probably very it probably seemed a completely out of nowhere. Sorry about that Hero that shrek required and I thank you for that. You're not the hero

I deserve but you're the hero I need and I can't remember how that quote goes But uh, thank you so much. How's grease How's it going? We don't we never talk about personal stuff. Have you noticed that? Hey, I'm a good time in grease Did you have you found out who put the bop in the bop? Bop That's Justin Are you proud of yourself? I here's the thing I am

I'm proud of you too. What I thought when I was saying it I thought this is gonna kill. Yeah Oh, yeah from downtown hoop slams another one three sounds like another word I Wish nothing but net with rhymes with yet Which is what we're not done yet. There's so much more coming to the cump folks. I know what you're doing around after these messages this fucking careening case For an entire other 41 minutes. Well friends. We are gonna do it or die trying So, um

Can we approach the wizards? Um, oh, yeah Throne I always say throne The wizard would not sit in a throne wizard would sit at the side of the throne and look above Well, I think a wizard would maybe hover Maybe I see so the king's sitting on the throne and everybody approaches the king is like my lord crops but The king the whole time is like not listening because he's got this wizard hovering like six feet off the ground above him Yeah, and he's like wizard

You're really up staging me a little like i'm the king and I can't see right up your robe, dude I see your dingus and everything. It's weird that kings would always have a wizard Of the court around because for me That's the first person I would try to eliminate A relay to challenge my power What like no no no wizard look at sedric right at in sofia the first Yes, the the wizard in sofia the first spins like half that show trying to steal the amulet of amulet on the lord Now hold on justin that's only because he thinks that's what he's supposed to do because his mother is an evil wizard

But his father is a good wizard. I'm saying he turns it around. I know sedric turns it around But like but he doesn't really want it justin like that's He does want it That's you're talking about an absolute ret calm They realize when they realize like it's wild to have like an insurgent wizard that lives in sofia's house And is trying to destroy her they're like this is a weird feel for a dizzy He's a grown-ass adult, right? Yeah, this is a grown adult trying to steal a necklace from a kid. Maybe we should like rethink. Anyway

You're about to purchase a wizard. Yeah, we need to hey whenever you guys are done. I'm still here. Um Sure. Okay. So, um, this is steve sent this and thank you so much steve. It's um, it's written by wiki house staff It's under fun activities slash boredom busters. Oh good. Thank god. I have not clicked into that subcategory But I imagine is a rich vein of content for this show. So I'm gonna bookmark that real quick How to eat six saltine crackers in one minute? For a fan of crackers eating six saltines might sound like a simple task However, the saltine challenge is harder than you might think. Yeah, we've all been there The rules are that a person must completely finish chewing and swallowing six salts at saltine crackers in one minute to help

Without help from liquids or lubrication. Hey, why did you have to say both of those? Well, because you can put some petroleum jelly on the crackers I guess so help them slide down your goal it Uh, if you want to impress your friends or participate in a saltine challenge contest You may be able to accomplish the task with a little strategy. So we're gonna talk, uh Cracker eating strategy. I don't know how I feel about this game facts on the cracker challenge. Like If you win this Based off of knowledge you learned on wiki how that doesn't feel I don't know. It's sporting. Yes. Yes. That's dirty pool

Yeah, I've got cheat codes here. Here's the first cheat code for this to eat six saltines in one minute challenge And the first one could also be The first step in virtually every wiki how article and it is simply Believe in yourself Hell yeah Watch videos of people successfully eating six saltines in under a minute watching videos. Is that does that sound? That doesn't sound like a lot of saltines, does it? Uh, we just didn't eat until the saltines on hands. Well, hold on. No, no, no

We're standing actually at the mouth of a cave And that cave is there's a sign hanging over it that says the worst audio in the history of our podcast And we can we can turn around like a tick tock later, Justin It's a tick tock later That's a tick tock for Justin the supplementary. I don't want to do that as a tick tock I don't want to do that permanently just seems like it's not all I'm just I'm not I'm not in a mood to eat six saltines. I'm just saying that doesn't sound like a lot like if I was enjoying a nice bowl of chili Yeah, I wouldn't think twice about housing twice. That's lubrication

What what? Yeah, I mean the chili That's a non-newtonian liquid I'll I'm saying and I wish I could just say it and like you guys don't always have to Fight everything I say you just be like accepting of the state of my feelings You know what I mean? Like I just feel like that's not a lot of saltines Yes, but not just and I understand your feelings and your feelings are valid But what you're saying is you see you don't have to do that But you are making a bold claim which I am allowed to refute without denying you are you are saying there's no bold There's nothing bold about me feeling

Folks, this is important. I'm stopping on this because it's a really important point for you to take away in your day-to-day life There's nothing bold about me feeling like it's not very many saltines Okay, well not in opposition to that but just solely as an individual I feel like it is a lot of saltines Okay, say shit now Yeah, just so you can't how dare you step to trap this feeling. No, I'm accepting. I'm allowed to feel the way I feel Justin you feel that way I think that I could definitely eat six saltines in 60 seconds is all I'm saying

Oh, let me tell you something as a friend and as a brother I've gone down Not at this exact path Justin But this is that you are now on the second step to doing this challenge yourself And if you're not careful You're gonna you started with that doesn't seem like that much and the second step is I could totally do that Right. Yeah, you can see how this is a slippery slope j-man And do you know what I love?

There's a large portion of our audience that has been listening to our show long enough now that they feel this creeping dread I don't know this grotesque that they will at some point encounter it It is they are so certain that we have crossed the event horizon of Justin eating six crackers on air that And they they it's it is filled them with a terror that they cannot Like define Um, I will stand I will stand as a as a bulwark against this act happening on this show as hard as I can Dear listener, please. No, I'm on your side. I'm less I listen. I love our listeners, obviously But I'm more worried about my human brother and his human mouth

Consuming eating six crackers in in a minute Now really break that down every 10 seconds Oh my god, you are I think I could definitely do it. Oh fuck that's step three. I'm not gonna do it on the podcast We're gonna hear about some of the tips. This is a good. Yes. Thank you. So Justin just so you can start getting ready I think maybe the best the best version of this is You get your crackers together and then we edit out the following 60 seconds of audio and just kind of circle back at the on the other side with the driest Justin

Uh, that has a very arid Justin, um, okay. So first off believe in yourself. Go ahead and start doing that right now Are you doing that? Yeah, but I believe in myself. Correct. Yes. Fantastic Now that you got your head in the right space, it's time to get your crackers in the right space Which is to say Arrange them in a way that you everybody thinks about like, well, how am I gonna get the lubrication and blah blah blah blah nobody thinks about finger technique

Nobody thinks about Optimal Like do you stack them? Do you put them in a row? There's no way you wouldn't do them all at once, right? Hold on have water nearby I can tell from the foley work that Justin's already got that covered for sure. Yeah We're moving on to part two and this is a multi-step. This is a a layer that you just aren't gonna have to sort of consult with your physician and lord about picking picking a chunking strategy

Sorry Okay, you're saying do I stack three chunk them? Do I do two chunk two chunk two? Or you can do one two We can skip we can now skip the following two steps Which is try the three two one strategy or try pairing the crackers for consumption eating two two and two So Justin's already sort of I'm sort of thinking ahead. Yeah Here's what you do

You shove one towards the back of your mouth and then two on either side one on the top one on the bottom And then another on the front, right the cube strategy, right? You're gonna do them all at once We got this nice pocket of air right in the middle that you need to breathe Yeah, you got to have the air inside of the cracker cube And that is going to be the saltiest most flavorful air the saltiest day ever Ever have the pleasure of breathing in your life. Oh, baby is it worth it? I watched a video of a guy breaking the world record Which what would you guys guess for what number of crackers in one minute? Yeah, number of crackers in one minute 10

eight 15 is the world record and um when he finishes He grabs his shoulder in agony. That doesn't see right. Does it's having a heart attack from all the goddamn soul Why would that hurt your shoulder? This is the first he does is hit girls There's so much we don't know about human physiology Somebody eats 15 very salty crackers and it makes her shoulder hurt and doctors are like, I don't know It seems like that makes sense

My favorite part of interspace is when Dennis clade is going down the trachea and he's like, oh, no I took the wrong turn and I'm in the shoulder Okay, so the creator is watching his creations from above like well, certainly they're not going to eat more than 14 Crackers right because there's some we have not tested before hey god god before you put humans out We did notice a defect, but the good news is it won't only trigger only this rare bug No one's ever gonna do that. Yeah It's not even worth patching out Which I guess that is a form of patching it out

Yeah, this man dies from his shoulder pain shoulder his cracker base shoulder injury I'll put something in the bible about it. Don't worry. It'll be okay What's this say? You'll be buried deep in the user manual Exodus 15 one Don't do more than Don't do more than 14 crackers in one minute. Why does it say that? That's like right there in the middle of the whole Passover story Uh, okay, so you can try eating all six crackers at once also that is that is another seems like that to me

That one smells like that stinks of failure. Yeah, that that feels like a knee jerk like first time or mistake Like let's get them all out of the way. I'm like no no no no no I mean I don't know. Oh, here's a cheat code. Oh, oh, oh Okay. Hey. Hey. Hey everybody lean in Bet your friends that you could do this right? We're gonna hustle. We're gonna make some money out of this It's a grift But before this ever starts 24 hours before you're gonna set up like seven humidifiers in this room

You're gonna get that air so wicked moist Right. Oh So moist air man. Oh, yeah, you had to do this in the freaking rainforest cafe, which I assume is very moist Why do you think that's a moist Because it's called the rainforest cafe griffin think they keep it arid I mean, you can do it in the rainforest, but you're gonna lose a lot of money that you're gonna win just on travel alone And getting a guide and supplies and stuff It's expensive to go to this way too expensive to go to the rainforest these days. Yeah

So the next thing that you need to know about is practice before the challenge, which Justin you can skip that step You're gonna be fine You've had crackers before right you've eaten crackers. I've done plenty of cracker practice. Okay, or practice as we call it No one Did call it that um, oh, so you're not in okay. I thought I just thought you were in You know the circle this next one's dope Keep your cool If you get over excited or nervous you may breathe in the crumbs and you're rushed to stuff the crackers in your mouth

And you won't be able to finish in time. Yeah Avoid shoving the crackers in your mouth as you could jab the back of your throat or poke your gums Hey, pain is weakness leaving the body two rules. Don't huff. Don't stuff Don't huff or stuff. Thank you travis again Uh, great great advice from the cracker king himself Uh, this is where the truth comes out. Justin. I'm sorry. I fought you earlier, but I was in the circuit back in the day I thought you were gonna say the circus. Uh, I was in the circus That'd be a cool circus. Come see the incredible cracker eating boy. Not again, please. I just want to go to college

Eat more crackers. This is all you'll ever be good for Why did I ever get this magic feather? And then somebody's like wandering by they're like so darlin. What was three times 348 and tribes like uh, it's 12 It's like he's amazing. He knows the answer to math. He can do math. I told you cracker boy can't be taught No, believe me. Um, I'm I'm gonna find some way to distribute the image that accompanied the keep your cool tip Because it's just a boy giving like a I want this as a tattoo Where is the boy the boy is holding some five crackers which drives me up a fucking wall

I'm setting this as my desktop. This is the best image. It's a good image. Yeah Can I just tweet this is not any context. Yeah, sure Uh, and the last the last tip is to just go for it. So just go for it. It's everything you need to know Well, uh, oh the reason he's holding five crackers is one is already in his mouth Oh, I see I see and he's so fucking chill. You can't even tell he's very relaxed Some community q&a real quick. How dry will my mouth be when I finish extremely? Yeah Can I impress someone by eating six saltine crackers in a minute? Maybe Yeah, it's gonna depend on the person more than anything really

Yeah Uh, why are saltine crackers made to soak saliva and be dry? That's a fucked up way of thinking about Yeah, I think saltine crackers are made to be crunchy and delicious little accoutrement for a chili Um, I don't think of them as mouth mouth towels Well, they are they're sorry. I mean you're gonna use them in soup and chili. They're absorbent They're absorbent, but I don't think of them as that. I don't slight them for that

Like that's a feature not a bug. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Like you wouldn't be like, oh man, this sham wow picked up all my water. You'd be excited Exactly um So juice you ready? Yep. Okay Oh, you want me to actually do this or we can make pretend like a minute has passed and you did it Well, can you guys wait 30 seconds to see if I have saltines? Yep. I guess so How are you grooving me? Yeah

Pretty good. Okay. Awesome, man Well, I didn't have any saltines. Fuck. All right. I got two. I got two rits. You got two rits. Okay. Well, I guess Here's what we'll do. Yeah, we'll we'll subdivide juice. You eat those two rits in of in eight seconds Ready set go. I can hear you eating it right now. He didn't even get a time. They weren't for the Oh, they weren't for the show. Wait. Hold on. Wait juice. You only have one rits now All right, Justin juice. You got to eat one rits in three seconds Tell me when you're ready. Tell me when you're ready. This is gonna be fucking funny. Tell me when you're ready Okay, three two one go one thousand one one thousand two one thousand three. Did you finish?

Ah, so not so easy is it not so easy is it eating six saltines? No, but I did it in less than 10 seconds You know that to be they don't have corners. I'll go to Wendy's Why would you go to other places to get saltines just They sell them go to Dollar General right now. Why are you getting crackers in weird places? Why are you getting mad the Dollar General is close that that was just close and that's good If you don't want to pay full price for your saltine. No, I I'm sorry, Justin I think you need to get the name brand so that we can like make this a repeatable It's named brand. It's just like

The expiration dates are all smudged a little bit. Oh, so they're even drier We get an intellectual case for or not or they could be wetter. I don't know how yeah, that's what they're so absorbent This is Justin's sequel to cool hand Luke What if cool hand Luke was like I can eat a thousand eggs in five seconds You can't do this cool hand Luke. No, no, no time you guys. No no stop. What are you doing? I'm I missed I skipped breakfast this morning. I get hungry. I can eat one thousand eggs in four seconds Oh, it's like it's like hyperbole. We're like, you know Get me where we supposed to get a thousand eggs. We're in prison

Okay, they're just gonna give us eggs You think that we go into the prison kitchen and say give us a thousand eggs. They will be like yep seems fine Nothing weird here. Come on. This isn't for like an escape attempt thing. Is it? No, my man cool hand Luke is gonna eat a thousand in four seconds three seconds. Holy shit That's less than you started This is right. This is right head care for the movie. They're filming the movie cool cool hand Luke And then everyone's just kind of standing around on a break and paul newman goes to the director. He's like, hmm I thought of one thing

You know how you said you were looking for that kind of like cornerstone scene You know, you want um, I thought one scene for the boot now paul Are you gonna suggest eating? Okay, all right. I'm listening. I'm listening. It's a lot of eggs Like wait, no no no It's like a bet It's like a bet. They have to dare me to do it. Yeah, paul you eat the eggs every morning No one dares to do it. It's like a hundred. It's gonna be cool to put in the movie

People want to see this It'd be a cool scene to put in the movie is we eating 50 eggs. No one's ever done it We haven't introduced the idea that your character especially likes it and it doesn't come back in the script paul It doesn't come back. It's not like later though. There's a wall made of eggs and only one man can eat them out of the prison Right Though hey, it's not too late for that director paul. It's part of the traditional hero's journey You leave your home you grow you eat a thousand eggs in two seconds And then you come back home and everything's different and you're a man

Did we go to the money zone because it feels like this is the money zone this week's episode is rocky by the egg council Yep, okay Let's go to the second money zone The deeper level. No, we can't that graphic gets weird down there Okay. Well, it's can't be any weirder than it is out here already Square space. Okay, stop. Let's go to the money zone I think Griffin doesn't like jokes anymore. So this week my brother my brother me is sponsored by square space Seeing out with a beautiful website from square space. Hey, do you like eggs?

Do you think you could eat a bunch of eggs on video and then have people pay to watch those videos? You could build that website on square space You could showcase your work egg related or not. You could sell products and services of all kinds Maybe somebody has too many eggs and they're looking for somebody to come eat them So they're not wasted where you could sell that service on square space You could promote your physical or online business as long as it's egg related and more No, it doesn't. Oh, sorry. It says here in the copy does not have to be egg related Sorry, excuse me beautiful customizable templates created by world-class designers

Everything optimized right out of the box Analytics that help you grow in real time free and secure hosting nothing to patch or upgrade ever So go to square space.com slash my brother for a free trial And when you're ready to launch use the offer code my brother on one word to save 10% of your first purchase of a website or domain Square space eat those eggs, baby Uh, let's take a second to talk to you about bombas. They're my favorite socks. Okay dm Were you addressing me? What if you're it? No, I'm addressing the audience. Oh, okay, because you said tm and I think I meant Travis McRoy

I love to work out and make Get cut and stuff. But yeah, but sometimes your socks can get in the way. They'd be distracting They could be itchy. They could restrain. They could be brown. They could be blue. They could be violent. They could be vile Let's go uh, but You don't have to settle for that. That's what bombas performance socks are built to be nothing but comfortable and supportive Bombas performance socks are stitched with special Moisture wicking yarn and temperature regulating vents that allow cool air flow in and prevent overheating. These are science

These are like the you know, how dentists an entry had that she even came full of dinosaur juice This is like that of socks, right? These are socks full of dinosaur juice. I don't know that they're gonna love that juice Go to bombas.com slash my brother today and get 20 off your first order If they remade drastic part dentists an entry would have bombas to put the dinosaur eggs in that's bombas Now is a dinosaur eggs or the dinosaur juice? Justin stories change it. Griffin was worried. We wouldn't get our ducats. So I was trying to mix it up a little bit That's b o m b. No, I think you got it. Yeah. No, I think that was definitely what the doctor ordered Slash my brother for 20 off bombas.com slash my brother

Never let your dino jizz go bad again. Hey, do you guys want to record another episode of this show immediately after we finish this one? Let's get one more. There's one more in the can just for safety. Let me look. Let me look in there. There's gonna be one more in there come on Let's squeeze out a little bit of it. What's the worst thing it this is this is this is our version of the salty challenge though Because there's same there are sane people who are like doing three podcasts in a week shouldn't be that hard You're like you're right. You're not wrong But they have they have the equivalent of some petroleum jelly on on their podcast. Yeah, exactly Hey, excuse me everybody, I just uh wanted to say a few words about the beautiful couple

I've known you two for a long time and You get along like peanut butter and chocolate or you know, like like uh comedy and culture like uh maximum fun podcasts Actually, they're having a block party from october 11th to october 22nd and that's kind of like your party, right? You have a community of friends and family and max fun has a community of shows and audiences that support them You're having a new start with your life together and max fun Will be putting out new episodes that are especially welcoming to new audiences So it's a great time to introduce your friends to your favorite show or jump into one you haven't tried before And they're setting up a volunteer event where we can help out our local communities

Plus maximum fun is going to have games prizes episode wrecks so much other fun stuff. What's wrong with kyle? Is he okay? Anyways anyways, sorry for getting carried away there If it's all right with everybody here Let's all raise our glasses for a toast To the max fun block party Which you can learn more about at maximumfun.org slash block party and don't forget to join in on october 11th Actually, that that sounds pretty cool Juice you got something to share with the class

Justin what is it? Justin, okay I found I found this video of a guy doing Doing the egg thing the challenge right Wait the saltine challenge or the egg challenge the egg thing the egg thing Hold on just one second. I'm just gonna play a little audio for you. It's like 20. No, fuck. No This is after okay. It's eight minutes and 40 seconds in and this guy's just done Done the deed okay, and he's you've never seen cool hand luke because you're not a 45 year old person It's uh, it's it's 50 eggs. That's how I think that came through. Thanks. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you

This is from gunnies food and art room by the way shout out Which is and which is this? 50 hardball eggs. No. No. It's just food or art both. Okay fantastic. All right I didn't think 50 hardball eggs was gonna be that bad. I mean, I knew it was gonna be bad The dense density of them compared to just making a scrambled egg a big difference Daddy look I'm sorry. Yeah, he did it in front of us two kids And did he say it's there's a big difference between eating a scrambled egg and eating 50 hardball

In a density challenge. The density of the hardball egg. Yeah, this this view has seven this video has 757 views Is about to have a bunch more of it. Yeah, shout out Um, it's really funny that he would do that with his kids there. What a great way of spending time. You would too though Just let's be honest. Oh, absolutely. Yeah I want a munch I want too much Welcome munch squad. It's podcast within a podcast

Profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating um, this is more of a A regular public service announcement. This isn't so much for comedy, but I do want to alert everybody The the mick rib will return to us menus on november 1st. Okay, hold on. Let me put it in the calendar one second How long has it been? I don't know the last time there was a bunch of pork meat sitting on the shelves and uncle mcdonald had to get it out To the people. Yeah Spent a long time. I mean, it's been a while right pandemic hurt everyone a little bit. Yeah

The mick rib a lot of people don't like to talk about it So I will thank you. Justin. You're so brave Yeah, it's really brave of me to say that Do you all realize that they shape it to look like it's got bones? Yeah, we've yeah, definitely and then you eat the bones You think about that? Yeah. Um, yeah, I guess so El polio loco is going to bring back a country taco in honor of an honor a national taco day. That's good of them In honor of national taco day El polio loco

The nation's leading fire grill choking restaurant chain is bringing back its popular country taco as its first ever Digital only menu item wait. What available for purchase through the polio loco app and website so that's right if you go in if you go into El polio loco and you say Hi, I'm a regular sane person and I would like a crunchy chicken taco here. They would say you need to leave Please go you should leave and get on your phone

And order it through the app while you stare at them Well, you can look at us in here and we do have them in here, but you cannot order them there You cannot you cannot use our wi-fi You cannot use our wi-fi Our customers have been very vocal in social media about how much they love and miss our crunchy taco. I With I you know what? El polio loco, I haven't double checked that but I will I'm I'm just the sort of person that has the the amount of free time requisite to double check that and I and you know that

I will uh, and they're bringing it back We're thrilled to be bringing back this much-loved classic just in time for national taco day and we're excited to continue our digital evolution That's right. El polio loco is becoming a sentient cyber restaurant Uh with this rollout as the very first el polio loco menu item that can only be purchased Online or through the app You cannot go yeah to el polio loco and order this what is Listen, I know that I I have a theater degree I make podcasts. I'm not a business boy. I know this

But what is the business strategy here that says like we make it less available I don't understand the strategy. I mean, but it's the exact same thing that they've been doing with like The it's the same thing as the McRib. It makes it seem scarce and exciting Yeah, but it's not scarce like the McRib is like don't miss your chance to get this This is like saying like oh, I came in to get it. I didn't want to miss my chance. Well, it's not here It's in your phone. You got a cyber it you got a cyber order it uh, so I I searched twitter um for mentions of el polio loco

And see to see what people are saying about it like they're being like really demanding about it. Yeah Marianne says crunch crunch. Uh-huh. Do you hear that sound el polio loco is the glorious crunchy taco noise Hashtag bring back country tacos. That's from september 14th. Okay June 21st El polio loco bring back my damn crunchy taco Please That was a wide so there is just those two people then that want this January 3rd, that's a pretty big span

We've earned you Whoa, whoa, stop yelling shut up everyone we get it. We get it Bring back your crunchy chicken tacos already, please. I want to give you all my money again. Hi police I'd like to follow a harassment report Uh, people will not stop about these tacos and it's like I'm just trying to live my life Um before that it was there was one in december and november and september and that's

Yeah july July 22. There have been eight tweets about this in the past 18 months. No one cares. No one can just hit eight people too Eight people care a lot. What we should do is get it tweeted el polio loco and ask them please Don't bring back the crunchy chicken taco. Ask them to bring back the mc pizza Yeah, yeah, ask this is that's what like outrage looks like Say hey el polio loco. McDonald's isn't doing anything with it Can you bring back the mc pizza?

Can you bring back the mc pizza? Will you please invent an incredibly soft taco? So soft. So soft. A non-Newtonian taco That's my second time using that phrase this episode. Oh, good job travis Do we want to do uh, one more question? I love that I recently got promoted at work and I'm starting to work as a cheese monger, which is very exciting because I love cheese Better than the alternative. Yeah, there's only two things you can really monger Uh, there's a beer Yeah, it's true

There's an old cowbell on a shelf in the cheese department known as cheesetown And old cheese mongers used to ring it when they managed to cut a perfect increment of cheese for customers I remember that half pound fourth pound. I love this. That's so good. I love you should do that shit at tcdy Did you yeah if we could get a perfect seven ounce or on a small or uh, I forget the exact sizes But there wasn't a bell but I would treat myself to just a fistful a small a small was nearly a half pound of yogurt Yeah, I guess so damn griff The country's most generous yogurt were like, yeah, you know, I didn't set that

I wasn't I wasn't making tcdy policy decisions juicer I'm just saying that that tcdy is now a nail salon and maybe there's something to that Maybe they were a little too generous into the profits um Wait griffin griffin you haven't been doing seven ounces at a small have you Nobody really uses it anymore, but I want to bring it back so I can ring the cheese bell Sorry, so I can ring the cheese bell. How do I smoothly bring it back? That's from hailey You can't smoothly bring back a bell practice

You just do it do it and it's everyone if you're listening to this Stop I'm gonna make this a year theme soon if we can if we can shoehorn it in Stop waiting for permission. Yep. No one ever got permission to do something interesting Just do it. Well, that's a that's not I would say a catch all uh tag tag line. Obviously not but like Okay, let me let me let me let me rephrase that a way that's more there's more of a blanket statement No one will ask you to innovate. How's that? I don't request you No one's gonna ask you to innovate if they thought of it. They would have done it. You've got the bell

Look in your hand. There's a bell ringer This is that peel away in line with what I was going to say just which my advice is ring it, right? And then someone says what are you doing? Just don't no couching just say That's what you do When you cut a perfect increment not I thought we could start doing this or that's what they used to do Just statement of fact. This is what's done. This is what you do, right? This is how it's done And maybe they've worked there longer than you or they're new it doesn't matter if you make it a statement of fact

This is what you do when you do this done this then they will be like, oh, oh, I didn't know that That's the only response to that kind of confidence Yeah, it was just okay Listen the alternative is you just got a bell Why do we have a bell here, Todd? If we're not supposed to be ringing it when we cut a perfect increment Yeah, I will say uh, but along these same lines one time. I was at a a traitor josephs And uh, there's a bell there hanging next to the checkout. Um, and I Mistakenly believe that one rings that bell when it's like, hey, I got good service

I want everyone to know and it is not you what you ring the bell when uh, you need help with the check out or Or when the they need some the people working there. I did not know that I thought I thought it was for customers to be like great job trader jose ring a ding ding ding Yeah, now griffin you think that's wild because you know the truth, right, right but If you didn't know that it was for employees to use and there's a bell hanging there within arms reach of the general public Yeah, wouldn't you think like this must be for me because this can't be the system they use to contact one another in the year 2021 right they're not sailors on an old ship

This is what I'm saying. This can't be the most effective means when I've been in other grocery stores where they can get on a microphone and say Hey, Todd come help me bag Yeah Right, so the bell must be there for fun For my enjoyment. This is what I'm saying the bell can't be there for oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize this is a work bell Yeah, business bell. Yeah, good point. Trav. Thank you I just don't want tweets. I bet that minimums back. Oh hell. Yeah, man. Fuck yeah with carnage and shit Yeah, carnages. I hope spider-man's in this one

Why why did we go there? I just wanted to mention. I don't think we'll get a chance to do a watch for it And because I didn't get a chance to do a watch with the first one. I guess it is pretty cool that he's back Yeah, I just think it's cool as venom's and I saw in the trailer this time speaking of eggs. There's venom make a breakfast That's great. Venom makes breakfast in this one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a mass murderer, but he makes it fun breakfast Cool. So that's our show. Thank you all so much for listening to it. We talked a lot about venom and eggs today We always tell people where should when they wait when they ask where should I start with my brother my brother me And I'm after this and I we have always said just start with the newest one

And after recording this episode, I have two new answers. The first one is maybe don't the second one is The second one is just making one other than this one. Yeah, or check out 579 or 581 Those are two really good ones We need a great place to start Hey, speaking of great things big exciting news November 5th remember remember 9 p.m. Eastern time we're doing a live and virtual adventure zone show Whoa, it's going to be the third uh installment in adventure zone hootenanny

Which we have done before with lasers and feelings created by john harper So that is an absolute blast if you haven't checked those shows out before don't you worry Um, we're going to do a little like previously on uh, so you can come to it brand new That is going to richest narrative tapestry like yeah, you probably be okay. You're not going to far behind So it's a it's a futuristic country band in space. Yeah, don't you worry about it Tickets are just $10. You can get those at bits.ly slash tas virtual and video on demand Will be available for two weeks after the show if you can't make it november 5th at 9 p.m. Eastern time But go get those tickets now

I know what you're wondering will be important for you to be very familiar with the first two In order to enjoy the third one and let me say somebody who's going to be recording the third one. I certainly hope not Uh, thanks. Did you think montane? No, you want to do it this time? No, I'd rather you do. Hey, thanks to montane for these right theme song my life because that's the way it's done better with you Uh, it's a it's a great track with a fun video and a great catchy beat and a rhythm that you can really bop your bop your booty to So, um, that felt Just awful saying that uh, oh also wait. Hold on. We got a new merch We got a month a new month started. We got adventures on notebooks candle nights wrapping paper

Uh, we got a new pen of the month. Uh, it is hellraven a k a Seek an identity del craven from i believe just us Uh, the adventures on life shows. Yes. Uh, and that benefits me looking incredibly intense It's feathered garb That uh, the proceeds from that benefit the national latina institute for reproductive justice Which builds latina and latinx power to fight for the fundamental human right to reproductive health dignity and justice Uh, so make sure you check those out. Uh, also in case you miss the news adventure zone is now weekly Which is very exciting if you are a fan of the great british bakeoff

Mine and chorises bakeoff watch a long show bake on Is back and available in pod catchers um And yeah, that's it That's it. Hey, uh, here's a final yahoo this one was sent in by the tumblin Mold mold man. Oh boy. Yeah, this one was sent in by the tumblin mold man

Uh, he's like a hen a while. Yeah, he's like a cool dude Who is like really yucky, but in like a cool transgressive play. Yeah Um, so the he comes to town and you might be uncomfortable at first But then when you know the zombies attack or whatever you're glad he's there You're glad that you can find this is the yucky mold man because at first you think maybe he's causing Like the sickness because he's the yucky mold man, right? But no no no He just knows how to stop it and that's how he got that name Yeah, and this it's asked by the prince

At who uh, the current prince one of the princes. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah one of the two princes Yeah who asks Come on, what's it say Griffin just say it treat it. Uh, the prince asks Uh Uh, I don't think I'm gonna actually be able to get one out this time Well, is that what the prince said? Yeah, the prince said I don't actually think I'll be able to get one out this time

The prince wait, wait, what category is that in griffin? Okay To be clear griffin macaroy a brother is not saying that he can't get one out this time griffin found this funny Ah, who yeah answers requests where someone's with the prince. You know what I mean? Yeah, okay, so the prince the prince asks, would you be mad if I couldn't get one out this time? Um, and I do need to know the category that was listed under griffin that was listed under fun and games subcategory

religion This was recorded on international podcast day. No, my name is just a macaroon. I'm travis macaroy I'm griffin macaroy. This has been my brother. My brother me happy international podcast day kiss your dad's grown lips Ah It's better. It's better with you It's better. It's better with you. Is this true? It's better. It's better with you You

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