My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 581: Boo-ty Ghoul-iani

Episode Date: October 11, 2021

Welcome new listeners! This is the description of the show this week. It’s usually a little bit tongue-in-cheek and doesn’t entirely tell you what we’re talking about, but it gives you a good idea of the tone of the episode.Suggested talking points (these are sound bites of things we say this episode): Download the snacks, Pyramid of 100 beans, Mosh bandits, Corpse Bride Burger, Your Secret Wood-MirerSupport AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate For resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

Hello. What you are about to hear is a podcast and what that means is we're going to talk into microphones and then broadcast it on on pods in your iPods. You're going to hear this on your iPod and so I just wanted to give you an intro in case you were confused as to what was happening. Sometimes we'll say pretty silly stuff, but it's not we're not being wrong. We're doing a joke to make you laugh. And so sometimes I wanted to say to my grandpa Dan, I asked to listen to this one. Well, I'm glad that you figured I knew you could do it. Yeah. I knew you could do it, G-Pod. I knew you could listen to a podcast. Downloaded it through Napster and I was listening to it and listen folks. Thank you for pirating our podcast, Grandpa Dan. Just a little prologue.

You're going to hear us make some pretty obscure references and you're going to think, oh, I don't get this because I'm not a regular listener. But the truth is you don't get it because you're not one of the three of us and sometimes not even then. Yeah, true. Sometimes the things we say just isn't funny. And it's nothing. We'll be interrupting the show throughout to try to give you some context, but we think you're set up now. What you're going to hear next is the introduction. Now, in my brother and my brother and me, this is our show that we do. This is where we normally do sort of a slice of life skewed view, twisted perspective on the current events. Sometimes we talk about movies for like a really long time and it's unclear even to us if we're actually

excited about them or not. Sometimes when we struggle to think of something funny to say, we just cuss a lot. So please be prepared for that. That's kind of throughout though. That's not just an introduction thing. We're going to begin now. But if you get scared at any point, please, please tell one of us and we will stop. Just raise your hand. It's an interactive experience. Okay, you ready? The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

It's rapping into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like life. It's better, it's better with you. My life, it's better, it's better with you. This is true. It's better, it's better with you. My life, it's better with you. Hello, everybody. Oh, no, wait, no, Justin. Quieter. No, why is it quiet? They can like hot. Just because they're new doesn't mean they don't like it fucking hot. Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, everybody. And well, wait, this is the music we always play. Okay, everybody. Hey, everybody, welcome to my brother,

my brother, me and advice show for the Modunera. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I've always said modern like that. Yeah. And then I'm going to say middleist, which isn't a real word as far as I know, but I in the most middle, right? And I'm, oh, I'm also going to say like a big dog woof woof and that's because every year we brand the year and this is 20 big dog run. What does that mean? You ask? I don't know. And I'm your middleist brother Travis big dog woof woof McElroy. What's up shit stains? Whoa, wait. Griffin has never brought this energy. No, I think that's kind of a way brand. Okay. That's sort of how I come into the beginning of it. Every episode is very complicated. That is never, that is never, you've never done it before. Is it the voice? Do you

think is it the voice? You called them shit stains, Griffin. Let me try it. Let me try again. What's up skid marks? No, well, that's, I mean, better. Let's notice a little bit better. It's better. Not more. It feels more affectionate. What's up droopy drawers? I think that's better. But Griffin, you're usually kind of the sweet one and I'm kind of the bad boy in the group. And I need you to bring some more like sweet energy so people know that like you're the safe one. What's up skid stains? Okay, just to get some questions out of the way for new listeners, this is the max fun block party, which is where we're, we're trying to onboard new people, say welcome in. Right. This show actually doesn't lean on people accuses of doing a lot of in-jokes.

I try to avoid that actually hilariously. I try to avoid that in this show. It just is a lot of non sequitur. It feels like in jokes that you assume like, oh, people have listened before understand what they're talking about. But as I said earlier, no, no, no. But this, but we're trying to make, here's the setup, right? We're actual ass brothers, like real brothers, not a joke. We're the macaroos who grew up together. Our dad's Clint. We do the adventure zone together. And we have done since 2010, April 2010, we've done an advice program that you are now listening to and enjoying, we hope. I mean, right now. So we've been doing it for a long time. This is our 580th episode and the show has evolved, but not as much as like you would think, right? Sure. It's

not like, you know, a general hospital where 11 years later, it would be unrecognizable. This is still basically the same. It's the same stick, but we're just, we're a lot tireder. That's true. We're older now. We've got kids. And God knows how many at this point. And I also know we have six kids to each. You can't do this. Oh, you're right. You're right. This is our first era. We have two kids. We have two kids each. We share two kids. We have two kids. It's a time share program. We went in together to buy the kids. We each get four months. But I know what you're wondering. I've been listening down to the show for a while and they haven't given any advice yet. But get used to that. That doesn't happen. Because it's not as much advice

these days. We're not qualified in any way. And we've also, at this point, as you said, 581 episodes in basically answered every problem the world has. There's nothing new on it. It's just no one listens is the problem. Yeah. No one ever does what we say. Well, it's because Bob Ball back there in the beginning is like, don't listen to the brothers. And it's like, God damn it, Bob Ball. So I know you're wondering, if there's a block party, where's the snacks? The answer is you got to download them. We are uploading pictures of some amazing snacks. I made a Jell-O mold. Yeah, Travis did a Jell-O mold. I got some Pumento pasta salad. And it's going to be a beautiful JPEG. And you're going to really taste the highlights and

shadows and colors on that one. So enjoy that. We got some bands coming out. What's up? Blues Traveler coming out on main stage at 7 p.m. Not him. It's Blues Traveler, but without John Popper because he kind of sucks. Oh, okay. Well, then it's a harmonica-free Blues Traveler experience. It's just kind of an acoustic non-harmonica. Let me be rad if the blue shower guy one time forgot his harmonicas. Like, he left his harmonica vest in his trunk with all his guns. And when the concert started, that's when he realized that he had to make a non-harmonica. Let's see if anybody notices. Hey, does anybody have any like wax paper I can put on the comb? Anybody? Damn it. I went to Juilliard. So just to kind of start, do you know where Dracula is?

Oh, is that any music? Where? Where? Boolyard. Oh, God. Why would it be Dracula and not a ghost? Dracula doesn't say fucking boo. The past seven minutes of recording that we have done have been not a joke. Pretty good cross-section of the experience we provide here. Well, I thought this would be a good opportunity for people at home to maybe get to know us on a deeper level. And Colin sent this in. And this is just kind of a getting to know you icebreaker question. The original question here on some kind of web forum was, what would be the worst torture to you? And a woman named Laura answered, you make me live in a cabin in the mountains in winter. And every Saturday, I would have to host a garage sale. And you would not give me any frozen

or fresh vegetables or fruits to eat. That is the worst torture Laura can imagine. So I want to deposit to us, what is the worst torture we can imagine? I'm not going to go with anything better than Laura Williams May, who, by the way, put on in her bio, Laura Williams May comma, I offer alternative explanations and viewpoints, which good on you. And you can tell that because Laura has offered almost 13,000 answers to questions on whatever website this is. And they're almost all about how little she wants to be in a cabin in the mountains in winter and host a garage sale every Saturday. Are these, do you think that these are three like stacking tortures or like you have to live in a cabin? Oh man, this sucks. I think I could get used to this.

Well, guess what? This Saturday, you have to host a garage sale. Oh man. Well, every Saturday, God damn it. Well, at least give me some fresh or frozen vegetables or fruits to eat while I'm hosting the garage sale. Wait, why are you laughing? I like that Laura has now, that's all the vegetables and fruits, Laura, frozen or fresh, right? That's it. I mean, I guess dried canned. That's a different hand. Yeah. Pickled. She only likes some frozen or fresh. Yeah, that's her deal, man. It's one of the two opposite ends of the spectrum. Okay, so this, so here's what we do. We take questions from listeners, we answer them to the best of our ability. We're going to try to get through more than usual, which is to say more than one or maybe two. Let's see, let's do it.

During lunch, I accidentally dropped a few black beans and they roll, by the way, I feel like we never say this, but if you have a question, you can send it to mbmbam. I know what you're thinking. Wow. A very bad nickname for a podcast. Yes. And yes, you are not wrong. mbmbam at maximumfun.org. Hey, another thing real quick. Speaking of the bad name of our podcast, a listener pointed out on the YouTube comments, because I was watching our theme song by Montaigne, because my kids love it. They pointed out that my brother and my brother and me fits exactly with the cadence of the chorus. My brother. My brother and me. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah, it's really good. It's fun. Anyway. Okay, so I accidentally dropped a few black beans and they rolled under my cubicle

into my coworkers that sit straight across from me. This is already a nightmare. And just, oh, for listeners at home, you might be confused. This didn't happen to Justin. Justin is reading a question from a listener and it's written in first person, but Justin is merely the conduit. Yeah. Sometimes I'll just launch right into him and you think I'm talking about myself and then at the end I'm like, doofus and Dakota or whatever. Because you know Justin loves beans. Right. Long time listeners will remember that Justin exclusively did eat beans for several years so I could understand the confusion there. I used to be a bean boy. I know. Now I'm not anymore. Now you're a bean man. Two dents. I have never met them. I think they vacuum here on the weekends,

but this happened on Monday and by then they will be moldy and maybe smell. Should I go pick up the beans when they are away and risk being caught in the act and having to explain? Should I just leave them be? Leave them be. There's no way to make this joke land. Just leave them be in audible sort of format yet. Yeah. And by the way, we'll do the jokes right here. Thanks. That's from being there. Smell that in Minnesota. I love by the way that in this question at no point is go over there while they're there and explain an option provider. Hey bro, see if it's a drop some bean beans over here going to clear you out one sec. But here's the thing. If you're caught over there and then you say I'm over here because I dropped some beans and they rolled under your cubicle,

that is the most fishy explanation I've ever heard. That's a weird one. They're definitely, I think you've accidentally dropped your stash like in rent and now they are on the case. Here's what I'm going to say. But if you say, if you go over there and say like I dropped some beans and they rolled under, sorry about that, that's so wild that there's no way they're going to think you're lying, right? That's a good point. Okay. I'm going to say it's just a couple beans. It's just a couple beans. That's what fucking Jack in the Beanstalk thought, Griffin. Just a couple beans and then pretty soon a giant falls and levels half the city. But Jack didn't roll the beans accidentally. Like Jack's mom was like get these fucking beans out

of here. Yeet. And then a big Beanstalk came out and then we all know the rest of that story. Everybody got squished and died from it. But I would like to just side note, just I know this is pretty some Monday morning quarterbacking on the author of Jack in the Beanstalk. When the mysterious stranger said, trade me your cow for these magic beans, wouldn't anybody, no matter what level of curiosity they have, anybody would say, in what way are they magic? Yeah. What kind of spell do they contain? Like it's not like magic bean is like a category of bean. They're like, oh, these are some of those magic beans I've heard. Like because if the mysterious

changer is like, oh, it'll grow a giant Beanstalk that you'll have to climb. And then like hide from a man eating giant. How did I get them? You ask, don't worry about that. Give me your cow. Give me that cow right now. Anyway, it's not a good. If I was this, if I was in the cubicle across from this person and I came over like, hey, a couple beans, those did roll under and I looked down there. I would be like, oh, it's fine. It's just a couple beans. If it was 50 beans. Yeah. And I looked under my desk and there was a small pile of beans under there. I'd be like, yeah, you should get those. You need to clean those up. This is where I think about that. I think about this a lot, right?

Well, no, it's just this idea of like, one is nothing, right? And a million is a huge thing. So there's some number, there's a fixed number, right? Like if one bean is on the floor, you probably wouldn't even notice. If a hundred beans are on a small pyramid, arrange perfectly, like sitting in your cubicle, that's a huge deal. That's a massive deal. So there's some number in between one and 100 beans where it becomes a topic, where it becomes something that needs to deal dealt with. I think I've got it. I think I know the number. Oh, really? I know the number. I absolutely know the number. I think it's five beans. Okay. If I look under my desk and there's one bean under my desk, that's fun.

Two beans. Oh, there's a couple beans down here. Three beans. That's a few beans. Four beans is like, should I do something about this? No, it's just four beans. Five beans is insane. That's way too many beans to have under your desk. I don't think it's a binary, right? Because I actually think a singular bean in the wild, if I saw just a black bean under my desk, how the fuck did one bean get there? You wouldn't even... Okay. So there's a feature, not a bug, a feature of the human experience, where it's like, if something's small and you maybe don't necessarily want to think about it that much, you could filter out a bean. Like you could be like, I don't know. My awareness is not going to engage with that one bean.

I can't deal with that. Man, it must be nice not having ADHD, but go on. I see that bean it's like, whole day. What the fuck is that bean doing here? I'm on the hunt. So that's one of our many bean questions we do. We like to open things up with a bean segment. Yeah. And now there's another segment here that I would say is much beloved and everyone loves it when I do it. And I'll pull your side, folks. This next is going to be a little bit loud, but Riddle Me Peace, boys! And now let me pull you aside real quick to say that we don't like this. Well, there are some folks out there that do. Yeah, that's important context, but that we don't like it. I'll give you guys new listeners a little explanation. So there are

people who will submit riddles to the internet and every time they put that riddle up, they think this is an absolute slam dunk. But actually, as you will see from this riddle, this is not the case. You probably don't need to explain that. I think we are going to get that the riddles aren't very good. This is submitted by Kayla. Thank you, Kayla. If all whipples are criggles, all borcans are crumbly. I already don't want it. If all whipples are criggles, all borcans are crumbly, no hoggles are borcans, and all criggles are borcans, is it true that all borcans are criggles? It sucks, Travis. Do you want to hear it again? No, absolutely not. If all whipples are criggles, all borcans are crumbly, no hoggles are borcans,

and all criggles are borcans, is it true that all borcans are criggles? Actually, you know it's funny. I tried to make my brain engage with it at the time, and it could, it slides right off, doesn't it? It just slides, it just bounced out. It couldn't do it. So what was it was? No, is juice, you say yes, I'll say no. Okay, yes, no. Griffin's right, the answer, what they've actually written here is nope. So there you go, borcans aren't criggles. Borcans aren't criggles. What I'd say is borcans aren't criggles. Yep, that's fantastic. Jesus. We used to do Yahoo Answers on this show, but then that website got suffocated, suffocated, killed, got shut down and deleted off the internet. So this is a nascent segment, I would say, fresh, and it's very exciting where we approach the

wizard of the cloud, and we look at questions on WikiHow instead, and we learn things instead of when Yahoo Answers, it was just, you know, mystery atop of mystery. WikiHow is like a teacher, it's like a teacher that comes to teach you things, and today's WikiHow is saying about Jessica. Kind of like Nanny McPhee when you think about it. It's basically Nanny McPhee. Yeah, it's like Nanny McPhee, it teaches you lessons that maybe you don't even realize you're learning. It's like Dr. Parnassus. Just like Dr. Parnassus, and Mr. Magorium, which I haven't seen. A lot of them. This is a subject that's near and dear to I think all our hearts, and it's how to mosh in a mosh pit. I've always been curious about the level of

violence that you are supposed to bring to that sort of encounter. Yeah, I've always been worried I'll get in there and fling myself at like a 10, and then they'll be like, whoa, dude. Whoa, dude, fucking stop. We're on like a three. Fucking slipknot on stage. It's like, stop, stop the rock music. Look at that guy did a big hit. Get the fuck out of here. Hey, this is a shared experience. Yeah. Mosh like that at home.

The first few things are preparatory. Preparatory. What? Preparatory? Proprietary. Proprietary. Griffin invented them just for this. Uh, step one. These are patented. Wear clothes you don't care about getting ruined.

Wear old worn clothes or a cheap outfit you don't feel attached to. Clothing can get easily ripped or stained in a mosh pit. Spelled how? What if I wear my stained t-shirts? There you go. Yeah, that's a very, it's a risk that you can. What's stained? It's a bummer. It must be a bummer to get a go to a stained show from the band Stained.

Yeah. And then later you go to Venuschnitzel. Right. You're having yourself a nice hot dog. Yeah. And then you layer it up with all your favorite topics. Your mood stars, your cat's ups. Everyone be quiet.

Okay. And then you first write, I got this. You're first write catch your mustard squirts out onto your shirt and you look down at your new stained t-shirt that you bought at the concert earlier and you think, I can never express this to other people. Yeah. I'll never be able to express this situation. Hey, what happened to that new show shirt you bought?

Has it evolved enough? Yeah, it's stained. Oh, I know. Yeah. I was with you. No, no, no. It also said that the very next step is actually don't bring big bottles of mustard into the mosh pit. That's bad.

That's rude. Hey, as someone who grew up listening to music in the 90s and stuff, it stained one of those bands that was like sounded like really hard core, but was actually secretly a Christian rock band? Christian, I don't know. Probably. I think Puddle of Mud is. I don't know.

That feels right. All right, Wear Contact Lenses instead of Glasses, OBS, Avoid Wearing Loose Jewelry or Accessories, partially I think because they get that you don't want to get choked, but also because of Mosh Bandits. And we love it. Mosh Bandits, man. And I don't want to point fingers,

but I do remember one time Justin went to a rock concert and came back with a beeper that wasn't his. You want to talk about that? Oh my god, what? Do you not remember that? Remember this? No, tell me more. You went to a concert and you said you brought,

maybe this was a lie. You told your brother, maybe you bought a beeper and you were embarrassed about it, but you said you found a beeper on the floor at a rock concert after a mosh pit and you brought it on home, which is fantastic. I know that one time I traded in enough Pepsi points to get a Mountain Dew beeper. Yes, that's it.

Didn't do that. It wasn't it. I think this is a different situation though, it sounds like. Okay, this seems like the kind of thing. I don't remember this. Oh my god. Make sure your shoes are tied. Fantastic.

Yes. All right. Wait for the, this is joining the mosh pit. This is where we, this is where the fucking rubber hits the road. Wait for the mosh pit to open up. Yeah. You'll know it's getting ready to start.

Will there be a signal or? Well Travis, you'll know it's getting ready to start when the performer announces it or other concert goers begin to make a clearing near the stage. Probably not the first one. Okay everyone. Okay everyone.

On three? It's me, Jeremy Slipknot. And I'm, I've got the red flag here. Wave, wave, begin, begin the shoving. There is a flaw with the second one though, which is if you're waiting for other people to start the moshing, then what if everybody's waiting?

You could be a mosh pioneer. Right, yeah. Finish your drink, don't bring a drink. Enter the mosh pit once you're ready. Yeah, don't be surprised if people are pushing you and bumping you as you get to the edge of the circle. If you don't want to dive right into the mosh pit, stay at the edge of the pit for a little bit

and observe until you feel ready to enter. What's the number of people standing on the perimeter of the mosh pit, staring intently at the people moshing? That makes the people moshing feel uncomfortable. Like at what level do you, even though you're jumping and feeling the vibe of the music and herding

and pushing and shoving and herding, other people, are you like, I can't ignore the fact that there are just like a dozen people looking at me. Well, I think much like the bean question we can start with, if it's just two people moshing, that's a romantic or at least very intense emotionalist. What is the sound of two people moshing?

That's like a wedding's first dance there, right? You don't want to interrupt. When two people are moshing together, you don't want to interrupt what they've got going. Now, as soon as a third party enters, right, now the energy I think is spread out as such that you need a fourth person to balance out or else inevitably two of the three

are going to start moshing together while the third is excluded. Oh, God. You need to share the load with four. At which point then it just is going to escalate from there. That's going to snowball for sure. So yeah, start moshing. Jump up and down in place.

Make a lap around the pit. Have both your hands open and your arms up at about chest level. That's a cool look. That's probably not true. Gently push people or bump into them. It's okay to push people around. Everyone's in the pit expecting it.

But remember, you're not there to hurt anyone. Avoid elbowing anyone in the chest as for some people, that can be quite sensitive if not painful. I would say most people. Yeah, unless it's like fucking colossus, most people getting elbowed in the chest is going to feel that.

Not going to feel good. Keep at the pace of the music and those around you. Cool off with a breather during slow songs. Oh, yeah. One of staying slow songs. And be prepared for everyone to start moshing harder once the music picks up again. Okay, cool.

I know you're thinking, I'm definitely going to hurt somebody. Like somebody's going to get hurt here. Not if you follow Mosh Pit etiquette the next segment. One, stop and help anyone up should they fall. Yes. That's true in life as it is in Mosh. Yeah, if you see anyone fall down and you're close to them,

it's a good thing to do in general, regardless of whether or not a bunch of sweaty butt rock fans. I would say it does become especially important when that is happening. Yeah. Pick up dropped items and hold them above your head. Is this anyone's beeper?

Nope. Bye. I don't know how to transfer service on a beeper, so I guess I'll be answering Doug's pages. That was the biggest mystery to me. If you see anyone's shoe or cell phone on the ground, stop and pick it up. The image that WikiHouse provided,

which if you've never been to the website is always good, is somebody very happily holding a shoe above their head. And I like to think like, I get into the music, right? You all know me. I like to ride those vibes. But if my shoe comes off, that's priority number one. At the very least, it's going to create a physical imbalance

in your body. You're going to notice. Yes. Don't throw things in the mosh pit. Yes. Thank you. That's good. Or the same pit.

Don't try to mosh with people who aren't in the pit. Get in here. Yeah. Don't try to start an ancillary mosh pit. That's a weird sort of state of mind for the person who's like, I'm the edge of the mosh pit. This mosh, no mosher. I hate this mosh pit.

I hate this mosh pit. I'm standing guard of you. I won't let this. I won't let you pass. See, I thought that this was saying, don't try to start a secondary mosh pit at a different location in the audience. Like you're like, you know what?

I don't like that mosh pit anymore. They observe rules. I don't. I lost my shoe in there. No one held it above their head. Hey, you, you're, you're a BP person. Come, mosh with me. You're on my team.

What? We're a rival mosh. I just really want to watch the show. Begin jumping. We're a team now. Squid game. Hurt them. Sick of them.

Stank ironically. Everyone. Everyone began. Stank ironically. Don't bother the venue staff in the pit. Oh man. You're shoving too hard. Okay.

I'll start. That's what they're there for. They're there to be, you know, in charge. They're the parent of the mosh pit. You need to, they're, hey, they're not doing it because they're mad at you. They're doing because they care about you. Yeah.

I got to say that's the last sort of tip here. If I'm like in it, if I'm like, if I'm skanking it to huba stank and really writing the vibe and doing a lot of pushing and someone tells me, Hey, you need to stop. I don't know that that's sort of like, you know, primitive just in my soul instinct to mosh is going to be able to be contained at that point. Oh, that's so interesting Griffin. Because if I was moshing at a concert and someone told me you need to stop,

I would assume it was my inner monologue saying like, this is done. This is not your thing, Travis. That's a, Hey Travis, I think you and I can both agree you're forcing this. That's the venue staff should not be there to police the intensity of people's moshing. They should be there for folks like me who they see me like very nervously start walking in and they just grab me by the scruff of my neck like no friend, no friend. This is not for you.

We actually have seating over here, a secret seating that we didn't tell anyone about, but it looks like your human body might need it. Yeah. Hey, why don't you go buy a t-shirt, huh? A nice t-shirt and then maybe head on home. This is a funny joke that somebody asking the questions to community Q&A. Hey, what do I do if somebody starts doing the macarena while it's in the pit? The community answered, nobody would do the macarena in the mosh pit.

Only moshing is done in a mosh pit. What if the person does what I used to do at middle school dances, which is they're too awkward to dance and they just kind of sing along to the song in the middle of the dance floor. Yeah. What if they, what if someone tries to make a big holding hand circle in the mosh pit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What if they try to do that?

Like, and now we're going to highlight individual moshers. We've created a mosh circle. Now you get in there and let us watch you mosh by yourself. The mosh train. Yes. I'm into that. Anyway, now we all know how to do this. So let's all go to a rock concert together.

Yeah. Man, that would be fun. That would be fucking fun, dude. I'd love to, man. What's stopping us? Well, a lot of stuff. Where to begin? What do you mean?

Where to begin? Our bodies. Oh, this should, this is actually good to talk about. We stop in the middle, like just when you're really starting to have fun. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know what you're thinking. This is a vice show. They've done very little advice.

Well, we're hanging there. There's a lot more coming just around the bend. We take a break to do advertisements. And what is great is if you can like frequent the businesses that we talk about. And we, we make it funny. We're not like some of those other advertisers. Don't skip them. It's not a robot or something.

It's really the guys that you love already. And we're kind of like the Geico cavemen of podcast commercials. We're like, fuck, that's funny. Okay, cool. It's funny. Yeah. Cool. So, um, oh, I, I begin this by, I say, let's all go to the money.

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Stamps.com brings the service of the U.S. Postal Service and UPS shipping right to your computer and the band Postal Service right to your computer. They will. Now they will do it. Now that I have committed them to it, they're working on a media player as we speak. So whether they are trying to tron Ben Gibbard today. That's our Stamps.com guarantee to you. We are going to blast Ben Gibbard with a tron guy.

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There's no risk. And with my promo code, my brother, all one word, you get us our promo code. I called Stamps.com and I said, can I please have a promo code? And they said, yes, Travis, but don't let your brothers use it. We should make an advertisement that's cool. Generate us three promo codes so we can see who's the who's the bad boy. We can't counter that up. My brother, all one word, you get a special offer that includes a four week trial,

plus free postage and a digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts. Now I know you're wondering sometimes that can be confusing. The digital scale means it has like a digital readout, not that it's like a computerized, like 3D scale. I just want to make sure that it's clear. It's not made of lasers or something. So, okay, you don't know that.

It confuses me. Just go to Stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage, and type in my brother, all one word. That's Stamps.com, promo code, my brother. Stamps.com, never go to the post office again, unless you work there. Unless you, yeah. Oh, can you imagine if you worked at the post office and the post office found out you had a Stamps.com account?

Oh, boy. I think it would go a little something like this. Hey, Derek, you got a Stamps.com account? Uh, yeah? Ah, cool. Can you sort those packages, please? He actually did the skit. Yeah, I'm coming in.

Let me talk about this next one. Okay. It's Zip Recruiter. Oh, okay. You know, I like to hand select things in my life. Like what? No, like every day when I go into my, um, uh, you know, toothpaste closet, and I pick the paste of the day, and what am I feeling like?

Baking soda, I'm baking soda, peroxide, whatever. You like the ones with the stripes? I need the whitening. I like, yeah, I like the ones with the stripes sometimes, if I'm feeling a little bit saucy, but that's me. You know what I mean? I like to choose, it says in the ad copy, it says I can choose my own, so I guess I did. Yeah, sure.

So take, yeah, don't let me off the leash again. That's what you get. You can do the same thing I do for toothpaste, you can do it for hiring though. Oh, so if I went to like hire a toothpaste selector, you wouldn't think that it's a big job, right? I could choose the people that like get the job. No, no, no, that's not what Zip Recruiter means. You can invite people to apply for the job.

It lets you pick your favorites from the best candidates. Zip Recruiter will send you qualified candidates, and you can easily invite your top choices to apply for the job. You can't beat it. It's so hard finding the best people for the job at Zip Recruiter makes it easy. See for yourself. Go to ziprecruiter.com slash M-Y-B-R-O-T-H-E-R to try Zip Recruiter for free. That's ziprecruiter.com slash my brother.

I'm Lisa Hannawald. And I'm Emily Heller. Nine years ago, we started a podcast to try and learn something new every episode. Things have gone a little off the rails since then. Tune in to hear about low stakes neighborhood drama, gardening, the sordid nasty underbelly of the horse girl lifestyle, hot sauce, addiction to TV, and sweaty takes on celebrity culture. And the weirdest, grossest stuff you can find on wikipedia.org.

We'll read all of it no matter how gross. There's something for everyone on our podcast, Baby Geniuses. Hosted by us, two horny adult idiots. Hang out with us as we try and fail to retain any knowledge at all. Every other week on Maximum Fun. Hey, Griff, do you have another... Do you want to start? Do you want to start a bit?

Oh, no. And this is a thing Justin likes to do where he basically starts things and then he really puts me in the toilet. Yeah, Juice, here comes a segment that I've prepared and worked really hard on. Okay, now what you've heard there is the opening strings to the intro music to a bit within a bit that's called the Munch Squad, where I talk about... Well, you'll say... There's a call and response section of this.

I want a munch! Why? I want too much! Why? Ah. Now, welcome to Munch Squad. It's a podcast within a podcast where I profile the latest and greatest in brand eating. That means fast food or brand eating, I think, really covers it.

When you eat a brand. You guys ever heard of Culver's? Oh, yeah, we got Culver's here! You got Culver's here? Oh, yeah, I like Culver's. I got big news for you, bud. The Curder Burger. What?

Everyone said once. No, I don't know what you said. I can't... Curder Burger? Curder Burger? Sorry, just say, just say, Curder Burger? Curder Burger. It's very, very ignition.

Curder Burger. Curder Burger. Curder Burger. That was a very funny joke that Culver's did, which is one of the most irritating things that anybody does, where it makes up a fake item to get social media to talk about it. They did it with the Curder Burger. And then that is a... It's a burger, huh?

Yeah. It's a Culver Butter Burger. Now, that sounds different. It's a Culver Butter Burger, the top with golden fried cheese or curds. It's a cheese curd burger or a Curder Burger. Oh, I see. I got you now. So they did this as a joke.

It's a Butter Burger with curd on top. Okay. The Curder Burger. Okay. But, but for once, someone did the right thing. And looked at the social media response. As we know, I'm sure a fucking uproarious to this April Fool's Gag. Yeah.

And the people were so incensed that the idea of Curder Burger had been created, but the physical manifestation of Curder Burger was denied to them. Right. That they realized, Culver's realized it was a moral obligation to bring the menu item to life for one day only on National Cheese Curd Day, which is, as we all know, say it together. November 17th. October 15th.

Yeah. I said it. Sorry, there was a lag. October 15th. They're launching the, they're launching the Curder Burger. We got a delicious crown of golden fried cheese. Damn. Makes this burger one of a kind.

The Cheese Crown, which is. Which is a good thing. One of the names you could choose. They chose that one. Yeah. The Cheese Crown. That was what our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ had to burn on the crust. Travis, Travis.

I think you mean Cheesy Crust. Cheesy Crust. I'm sorry, Easy Crust. We're incredibly proud of our, this is an answer. If you hear me talking in the voice of a creative type, this is Quinn Adkins, Culver's Director of Menu Development. Quinn Adkins. The delicious crown of golden fried cheese is what makes this burger one of a kind.

The Cheese Crown is made up of a blend of yellow and white cheddar cheese curds, all serrated by crispy seasoned breadcrumbs. We're incredibly proud of our Wisconsin cheese curds, which is why they've slapped them into a butter burger. And our relationship with Wisconsin dairy. So the Curder Burger is just another way to showcase our trademark quality and Wisconsin roots. Beyond the burger itself, the way the Curder Burger came into existence

is a story worth telling. It all began on April Fool's Day with a prank we posted on social media. But when guests made it clear, they wanted it to be a real menu item, which was such a surprise, I think to them. They in no way were backdoor announcing a new menu. I had received the responsibility. We're sure not. Who would do that?

It completely caught them by surprise. Justin, can I ask you a question legitimately? I'm trying to find a picture of this thing. What's the joke? What was the joke? It's so funny that they would put cheese. I know this is what everyone's doing things that are exponentially nastier than this. The whole world is nastier than this.

It's almost sort of quaint. Yeah. It's elegant. Like that they are coming out with the Curder Burger and expecting us to be like, you're damn wild. You're wild. I've got to give, you know, I'm always dunking on people who answer the questions for QSR, which is sort of my hookup for this information.

But on this one, I do have to call QSR itself out on the question they've decided to ask here, which to be fair, coming up with questions to ask about the Curder Burger can't be easy. The QSR asks, why does it work from a flavor perspective? What do you think, mother? It's fried cheese on a burger. It's a fried cheese on a burger. It's not like a complex fried cheese on a burger. It's cheese and meat, but fried.

From a flavor perspective, the Curder Burger, which by the way, it fails in almost every other respect. Like it is not pleasant to look upon or say about it just from a flavor perspective. The Curder Burger is an evolution of a classic burger burger, but adds an additional savory component with our signature blend of herbs and spices, a textural contrast with the fried crown and a tremendous visual dynamic. So from a flavor perspective, it adds a tremendous visual dynamic. I know what you're wondering, guys, because this is the same question I had.

What was the R&D process like? How many attempts did it take to get it right fried cheese on a hamburger? This, says Quinn, was a personal project of love. Was it? It developed in three months, starting in late May after the menu team saw all the attention the April Fool's message received. So just to be clear, it took you two months to read your mentions? I mean, I get it.

There's probably not a lot of like Culver discussion on there, but it seems like a long time to realize like, hey, people really want this burger. The extraordinary development speed was made possible by the talent and dedication of our team, along with the strength of our relationships with our manufacturing and supplier network. Without our strategic supplier.

Oh, you got you got you want more cheese? OK. All right, yeah. The logistics of that in this economy. Really? OK. How much should it cost? A hundred dollars?

That's too much. Five dollars? Sounds good. Guests have a high. For this item in particular, we wanted to wow our guests. So we designed a burger that went above and beyond. And this is where Quinn, like people are always using team language.

I've never seen anyone do this in one of these pressure releases. Quinn then says. When executing my vision for the Curder Breaker, I created a list of must haves, including functionality of design that reflected what we deliver with our current cheese curds. So both the yellow and white curds were evident, optimizing the eating experience of the burger.

So the cheese crown not only is visually appealing, but also holds together after taking a bite. Three, perfecting the size and weight of the crown so it can be consistently prepared to the highest quality in restaurants. And a high ceiling in the garage so that I can. Oh, no, wait, sorry. That's for my must haves for the new house I'm going to buy after.

For my friend. After the Curder Breaker comes out. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. But here's the wild thing. All this work, all of it. For the Curder Breaker, which is available for one day. Can you imagine?

This is like a corpse flower. Yeah. Right? Yeah. All this work. It's like a corpse flower. So many in one day of, of, who cares if it's consistent? It's one day.

It's one day. Buy it or don't. You know what I mean? This is the worst. Has a dedication to quality I can say. I'll tell you what, Justin, you've really ruined me on this. After talking about the absolute R&D mad lab that worked at Wendy's, that like worked on a new fry recipe for two and a half years.

It's hard for me now to take anybody's R&D seriously when they're like three months we put into this. I'm like, that's nothing. That's nothing. You're a child. Talk to me when you spent two and a half years figuring out how to make French fries. That's all I think about.

I want this R&D to submerge you into a pool of madness. Yes. From which you might never return. I want this to be your Mr. Holland's opus. It tastes better to me when you don't return from the madness pool. Yes. Speaking of Wendy's fries, if I could just pivot briefly. Please do.

This week, Carl Laredo, the CMO at Wendy's, posted a picture of him and his family enjoying some new Wendy's fries. And the text of this photo is, the whole family loves Wendy's new hot and crispy fries. Really, Carl? Except for Doug. What a shock. Not pictured.

My shithead son, Doug, hates my fries. He's out. The company that puts food on your table, put food on your table and you enjoyed it. I'll tell you what though, those fries, those fries are fucking good. And they survived the drive home in a very... Listen, I know, I noticed too, Trav. I didn't even realize we were getting them.

And then Sydney and I both ate some fries and we're like, damn. Yeah. What's up? Yeah. What's up, these fries? They're good. Okay, Carl, you're right.

You did, Carl. I don't think you and your family are lying, Carl. They're good fries. I would never say that. Not about Doris. Not about... I'd say it about... Rebecca and you.

I'd say it about Doug. Doug's a piece of shit. I don't know Carl's children's names, but I'm just going to guess it's Rebethany. Rebethany and Doug. Doug Jr. Yeah. This is Carl Loretta's son, Doug Jr.

He's a twisted grind. He's the junior of a different Doug. Just a Doug that Carl knows. It's his name after my barber. He reminds me of my road dog, Doug. He's a great barber. I don't go there anymore, but... My name's Carl Loretta.

This is my son, Dave Thomas Jr. We don't cut corners here in my family. Does Wendy still make square patties? They don't, do they? Trav, can I charge you with getting a Curder Burger? If you've got culvers around you, will you get a Curder Burger? Let's see what I can do. And graham it.

Just graham it. Yeah, I'll put it on the graham. Yeah, how incensed would you be if you went into a non-participating culver? On this one day. On October 15th. You know it's slipping. Like, they're like, I don't know. Let me look in the back and you're like, I could be eating it now.

This is the one chance I have. Could I get 30 of them and 29 of them are frozen? Is that possible? All the wasted time. All the Curder Burgers. Okay, listen. If you only have time. That's how you got...

Here's a question. Here's another question. We're going to help two people this week. Yeah. I live in a duplex and I've only interacted with my neighbor once, back when we moved in. The other day, I could hear him singing a song from Lemus Ron. Uh-huh.

Through the wall. Here's the thing. Uh-huh. I also love to sing show tunes. How do I approach you about our shared interests? Without letting him know, I could hear his private singing moments. That's from perplexed in a duplex. Why not let him know?

This is very strange. This is very strange to me. Why? It's very strange. Why is that? Because this is one of the... This is a new bit that I've invented for the show where I say, I don't know, and I let my brothers help me.

Because I have one version of this, a different version of this exact same problem. Yesterday, Ert knows, it's been a few days now. I was driving up to my home and I passed a neighbor. One is an older gentleman who I've since learned is a widower living there on his own. And I passed him and his cars are always in the driveway, right? I passed him. I looked in his garage and he had this fucking sick

woodworking shop, like sick, like real, real choice stuff, right? And I'm like, oh, damn, that guy's deep in the paint on woodworking. And then I start thinking like, it would be cool to have someone who lives like a couple of houses away be like a fellow woodworker. Like if I get some scraps, I'll kick him this way. He comes in, he's like, Justin, I need a number eight, three inch deck screw. I can help him out. You know what I mean?

But I can't for the life of me think of a way. I don't know him at all. So I can't for the life of me think of a way to elegantly be like, and I've expressed this concern to my wife. She can't think anything. She's the smartest person I know. Can't think anything. I don't know how to elegantly knock on the door and be like, listen, I looked in your garage

and it was bright in there. And I looked in there and I saw that you love wood and I love wood too. And I just want you to know I'm here for you and we could be like friends, not friends in the traditional sense, but you know, we work a chair connection. We could be wood buddies. Here's. So what do you guys think? Your problem is, Justin, you're hung up on the elegant part.

There isn't. There's. Hold on. I'm getting some water. You can just keep talking. Can you hear me? Wait, why would he ask for your advice? He asked me for advice and then he was like, I'm fucking leaving.

Hey, I'm back. The problem is, Justin, you're caught up on the elegant. There isn't an elegant. Well, I don't want it to be weird. But here's the thing, man. We get asked all the time, how do I make friends as soon as all? And that is because we are worried about that weird moment. You know who don't fucking worry about that?

Five year olds. You know, like you're just going to have to roll up and say, hey, I noticed that you have a woodworking stuff. I also am interested in woodworking. Okay, imagine it. Like really start to break it down to its base components though. Do I do? Is he in the shop when I do this?

I don't know. But exactly. I mean, do I knock on his front door? In the middle of dinner? No, why didn't I dinner? No, I didn't say that. I was like, Travis, why am I interrupting? He was praying, Travis.

No, I didn't know I just did it. He got out of the bath for four o'clock, just that 4 p.m. is a save for the husky neighbor boys. It's always carrying terrible wood scraps out through his trash. And Justin saw everything, Travis. How can their relationship possibly recover from this? Well, then he answered the door in the nude. Great idea, Travis.

Pervert. Okay, well, I was trying to, okay, I was trying to actually help my brother, Justin. And then you guys call me up for help. No, help me. I'm telling you, I'm serious. Wait, do I knock on his door? Is there someone at the door?

Yeah, you knock. And then imagine it happened, whatever you tell, I'm going to move the mic. Whatever you tell me, imagine it happening to you, Travis. Hey, I heard you podcast. I'm a straighter. Yeah. No, there is risk involved, Justin.

Don't get me wrong. There is risk involved, but the reward of having your own wood buddy is the reward. Like, you think you're just going to get that for free? You're waiting for the universe to give you an excuse to talk to this wood friend? Now, I'll ask you this. Here's some alternate plans.

If I don't have the bravery for what you said, because he's in dinner, do I send a note? Is I send a letter? I like wood. Do you like me? Jackie, I said no. No, Justin. What's up with that?

He's not going to write it. And if so, would I mail it? Because that's weird, right? Now, if you carve a plaque that says that, and you deliver a hand-carved wooden, you're saying that's the introduction, just to be like, here is where my skills go. Right, right, right, right.

Oh, I thought you were saying leave it at his doorstep. Like, this is from your secret wood. Oh, no, I didn't mean that. Okay, good. But it's a carved wooden plaque, so he's going to see, like, this is weird, but there's something here. I see, also, I know that this is Justin,

because he's still walking away. I could see him, right, and he rang the doorbell and I answered it, and I see him walking away. And at a leisurely pace, frankly. And he's watching me very closely to check my reactions to what he, to... Hey, uh, Justin, come up, yeah.

Yeah, this is good. I have some notes. I think people who are experienced in a craft or hobby are always looking for an opportunity to flex that on other people. Yes. So you need to supplicate yourself to him, and maybe, like, you go up with a shitty birdhouse

that is glued to the side of your head, and you'd be like, oh, hi, I'm your neighbor. I can help but notice that you have some wood stuff, and I am also into it, but I did this, and do you have any kind of solvent or something that won't be bad for my skin? Because I have really goofed up over here. That person will be so excited for the opportunity to...

Yeah, that's probably true. Help. That's probably true. But then they're going to know the next time you make a, you know, a nice stool, they're going to make you fucking rope a dope to me. And then you say, no, I couldn't have done it without your tutelage.

Yeah, when you... You inspired me. When you pried that birdhouse off my face. That was all I needed to know. It must have released something in my brain. Right. By which I mean a pneumatic staple that I think I accidentally... It's somewhere in there.

From what I know about rotary saws, is they like to just fly on off the handle and just go zip-zap him wherever they want to go. So maybe you could embed one of those in the side of his house and then knock on his door and just be like, hey, this happened. And as a fellow woodsman, I'm sure you know all about these stinkers.

What if he... I'm more... I think there's a non-zero chance that he would take my tools away. Oh. You're saying that if you introduced yourself as a fellow woodworker, he'd be like, no, not you. No, you're not.

You're not grown up enough for this. He would confiscate them from you, a 40-year-old parent of two. He might confiscate my saws, all my beautiful saws. And maybe he just takes the screws until I've learned my lesson. But then, isn't that what we all want, Justin? You're looking for a woodfather figure.

Yeah. Well, the problem is, like, just this past week, I made a footstool for my daughter and I couldn't get it balanced. Like, you know how you build something? Anything... It's always a crap shoot when you make something that's supposed to stand on the ground

on multiple legs. And I said it was wobbly, so I cut it down, and then it was still wobbly, but the wrong way. And I kept cutting it until it eventually was offering a negligible height differential from the ground. And then I got so frustrated that I threw on the ground

and smashed it with a big hammer. And I think that he should... I think maybe he should take my tools away. Oh, Justin. I don't think that... I think someone should be parenting. Maybe you need to approach him in that way then and be like, well, can I apprentice with you?

Can I trust you to stop me? Because that's what I did, man. You know, I found myself a blacksmith future apprentice with him. It makes him really uncomfortable when I refer to myself as his apprentice, but here we are, you know? Makes me uncomfortable,

and I'm not even part of the equation. I will often say, like, am I a journeyman yet? And he's like, what the fuck are you talking about, Travis? I'm like, ah, thank you. That's wise. Next time you fuck up a project like that, hold on to it. And...

Or at least hold on to the scraps of when you smash it because of your insatiable rage. And then look at, like, the 10-day forecast, see when the next big rainstorm's coming, and then show up at his door soaked to the bone. Oh, yeah, yeah. Maybe even if you want to go this route, your t-shirt sticking to your body a little bit,

and you show up with the scraps... Not in an essential way, but an essential way, for sure. Well, or just a, you know, however kind of way you want to frame it, but with the scraps in your hands, and then you can make yourself cry and just be like, I don't, just say like, I don't know. And then have him just shh, shh, shh, come on in.

I think he's going to be into it. I'm going to give you this one for free, Justin. Would you help me with this? That's funny. And he's going to know that you're a real deal guy when you come at it with genuine good wood humor like that. Now, what's going to be confusing is when he responds, I think not.

And you're not going to be sure if that's a no or if that's another pun. Yeah. That's going to be hard to parse. I understand that, but that's the test. What if I start misinterpreting like, I saw you walking towards my house. So I called the cops and they're like,

whoa, saw, I get it. Funny. Good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good stuff. I heard you hammering on my door screaming. Please, please let me in. I wish you'd cut it out.

Yeah, I could cut. It's funny. Like wood, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I get it. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. If this is your first time, we hope you've enjoyed yourself.

We release a new one of these almost every Monday. We used to miss a lot, but we barely ever do that anymore. Sometimes it's just a little late because of life. Yeah, or a little bad. Yeah. You never know. Come hell or high water, though.

There'll be something here for you. Physistically, there are about 300 good episodes in here somewhere. So yeah, sure. Yeah, run the numbers. Oh, speaking of, if you are a new listener, just start on like 150 or 200 and work forward from there. Yeah, yeah.

Or start at the newest one, but not the last one. The last episode was fantastic. I won't take this slander. Okay, good. Yeah, listen to whatever one's. And as you're working backwards, when you hit a point, you're like, well, this seems, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Oh, God. Yeah, yeah. If the mics get bad, the content will follow. The thoughts, the thoughts will also be bad. And you know what? This is also a good time. If you are, if you've been a listener, my brother, my brother and me for a while,

why not check out other Max Fun shows during this period? They're going to be doing other kind of intro shows like this to welcome in a new audience. We've got some crossover stuff that we did that's going to be in a new feed. We did a crossover with Maximum Film, where we talked about good and bad advice that we learned from them.

Oh, this is fun. It was a fun film. Fun, it's fun. Fun, it's fun. Oh, Lord. Trace and I did a Schmaner's Crossover with Titan Fights, where we talked about like the etiquette of pro wrestling and like some famous rivalries and some locker room etiquette.

It was an absolute blast. So check that out. You can find out more at maximumfun.org slash blockparty. It's going until October 22nd. And it's not just shows and stuff on the network. There's going to be volunteer events and limited edition posters and games. I'm doing a Jackbox game stream on this Thursday

at 9 p.m. Eastern time with Janet Varney and Carrie Poppy and James Arthur. And it's going to be an absolute blast. Justin, you and Sydney are doing a stream too, right? Yeah, I think it's Friday night after that. We're watching F9 finally and live streaming that. There you go. So make sure you check that out.

More info at maximumfun.org slash blockparty. We've also got an Adventures on Live and Virtual show coming out November 5th. Tickets are on sale now. That's November 5th at 9 p.m. Eastern time. Tickets are only $10. And if you're not able to make it on the 5th, video on demand will be available for two weeks after the show.

We're doing another Hootenanny episode, which is our Lasers and Feelings RPG, where we play a space like country band traveling the stars, playing country music. You can get tickets for that at bits.ly slash tasvirtual. Our theme song is My Life is Better with You by Montaigne. It's a great track and the music video is very fun. It's got us in Montaigne.

And go listen to all of Montaigne's music. If you've never made that dive. She's incredible and her tunes really slap, man. Yeah, they really slap. We also have new merch over at macroemerge.com, including our Pin of the Month, which is from Taz Just Us, Griffin's character, Hellraven, aka Del Craven. Sales of that Pin of the Month benefit

the National Latina Institute for Reproductive Justice, which builds Latina and Latinx power to fight for the fundamental human right to reproductive health, dignity, and justice. There's other stuff there, too. Go check it out, macroemerge.com. This is where we come to a bit of an awkward moment for new listeners.

Because there's no way for you to know that we used to use the Yahoo! Answers service a lot as our source of questions, but we don't do that as much anymore. Because it died. Because it died. So now we're kind of lost on that front. Except for all the ones that I stockpiled.

Okay. Okay, and go from pretend. All the ones I stockpiled before we got gone. So this one was sent in by Jim. From the office? Davis. Oh, oh, from the Garfields. Yes, and.

From the Garfield office, where they make Garfield. And it's asked by Rudy, Rudy Gugliani, the scary Rudy Giuliani. That's just scary. Yeah, I was gonna say. It's from Rudy Gugliani. He says. Oh no, you're making me like that character now.

Oh, booty, don't get me wrong. Booty Gugliani is fantastic. Booty Gugliani asks. Yeah? What? Yeah, what? Just read it, Griffin. Booty Gugliani asks,

Does anyone want to join me in filing a class action lawsuit against Dick's last resort? They make me feel very small. That's the one that wasn't killed me. Oh, God bless. Oh no. That, you know, was funny. That would be like the fifth most embarrassing thing he's done.

I mean, it wouldn't even top the chart. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother and make his turn to ask around the lips. Oh, it's better with you. Doctor, I am Pavieci. Ah, okay, says the doctor. In which case, try listening to the Beef and Dairy Network podcast.

The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is a multi-award-winning comedy podcast, and you can find it at maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.