My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 582: Bony Butt Stabber in Coastal Maine

Episode Date: October 18, 2021

We’ve finally made it! We got nominated for an award for our amazing ad reads. We always knew this show would be recognized for something, and it’s as a parking space for our sponsors. Suggested talking points: The Pie That Did the Mess that Broke my Heart, Bookumentary, Stephen King was Right, Krispy Skreme, Tres-bouncing Support AAPI communities and those affected by anti-Asian violence: https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate For resources on anti-racism and fighting police violence: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better It's better it's better

It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me an advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother just McElroy. I'm your middlest brother big dog Travis McElroy and this is your sweet baby brother Griffin McElroy eating pizza hut and Take out your profan over here in my Nike shoes and all of them are good You know as I sip this Folgers brand coffee. Yes, just think about How lucky I am, you know, I woke up I sat up straight up in my Casper bed this morning Yes, and I pushed the the bowling brand sheets away and I thought how lucky are we to get to live

This life, you know, I mean as I know the zest soap My body and got truly zestfully what flavors as what flavors as you rockin explosive orange. Yeah, that one's a little too intense for me Yeah, it's got those popping bubbles in it, which if you're a listener at home, you're probably a little bit lost here So let me bring you in a little bit We were nominated by the our heart radio podcast awards, which we instantly cared quite a bit about yes As soon as I saw my name on there, I knew it was legit for best best comedy podcast Who cares but best ad read podcast I when I got the news I was eating my favorite dishes at the Old Spaghetti factory and

Really savoring the good flavors in my mouth And I just could not believe my eyes This is a problem because I was actually eating at the Olive Garden when I saw it an Olive Garden Actually paid me to say fuck the Old Spaghetti Shit guys. Yeah Imagine a carousel. Yeah, and you're on it and it's taking you Spinning you wildly around and around and around it through the crowd as you spin You see the face of your grandfather, but that can't be your grandfather

He's been dead for many many years You continue to spin around and round and you see him and he looks at you and dead in the eyes And he says I forgive you and then the next one around he says Eat Frito LeBron corn chips. Oh, wow powerful stuff. Now is that the racist grandfather or just like your regular one? I feel like we have more to forgive. Fritos are kind of racist. We can all agree Races if it's not right, I don't think it's racist, but it feels a little racist This is the kind of stuff that snagged us that nomination by the way Yeah, I mean remember that time when Griffin talked about how babble would help you engage in oral sex

I want to start I want to start being in the meetings where they try to sell our show to advertisers So I could be a real dick like what you want the best of the biz You want the best of the biz? Here's what fucks me up. I hear radio had to have listened To they want to have and and Travis brings up a good point if it was the one where I talked about how babble will make you better at oral sex That's crazy Here's what I like to think there are many let's be honest There are many that would not only get us not on this list. They would get us banned for these awards

Yeah, the FCC would have some problems I have a theory that what happened was they put four podcasts on the list that they'd listen to and they're like I wish I make a five every other categories five Does anyone else listen any podcast where they have funny reads and like one guy was like My brother my brother me. Oh, yeah, none of us have ever listened to that show. What kind of what are their ad reads like they're good They're good. They're not dirty. Are they Derek? No, no, never never never never never and they're straight to the point They don't like make fun of the brand or talk about how like Squarespace is sounds kind of like if you said like like a circle area And that you're competing website. No, they would never do that

All right, we got chatty broads with Becca and Jess. They're up there in the nomination fantastic Advertisers. Yeah, great advertisers couldn't know Brian needs a friend doesn't seem You know literally with Rob Lowe like it those two they've got there They've got Emmys and shit probably they got others They don't they don't need this and the I heart radio podcast awards love a story Yeah, they love a story and I feel like those guys don't need it and Rob Lowe's thing is always like Squatty potty literally saved my butthole like it's like and it's always that it's like Pizza Hut literally tastes good the cheese in my mouth and it's like we get it dude

Hey, guess Rob Lowe has never eaten pizza. No or pooped All the ads that motherfuckers could they're like skin tight lycra. We all love it, but can we all The vegetable council would love to Listen we've all been there, you know Which is Bill Arnett and Jason Bateman and Sean Hayes. This is a two-horse race This is this is a chatty broads. Yeah, other people cannot wait. It's not fair. Of course. They're two good ataries They're professionals. Yeah, we're JV Not the JV club another great podcast the maximum fun network, but we're the we're the you know

Yeah, yeah, absolutely and listen all of them the Conan O'Brien smart list literally I'm pretty sure they're nominated for other categories, right? So this is this is the like, you know the the best sound editing with joke to me wrong sound endings Very important, but this is where our movie is gonna win, right? Like sure we can put on the box of an I heart Radio podcast award-winning podcast, right? I mean, I feel like they're pulled they're trying to pull like if we give it to Smartlist do we get Are these guys at the award right?

Right. Oh, yeah, I get that. Can we get these guys if they're there, you know if we if they win certainly sir They'll be there. We're boned dudes. Yeah, we're boned. Yeah, they'll probably just give us the best comedy one Damn, I know Damn that smart list. I was kind of thinking that they would do like You know a lot of these are like 12 episodes that they're out there every week. Yeah, but in the work, you know I mean shout out to them. They're consistent that especially for people who have things Yeah, lots of other things. Yeah of the R2 shows one of us has a Ozark guy in it That should be true and it's I it's not

I'm not on the I'm not on the Ozark. I would be I was actually edited out I was but I was supposed to have a four episode arc and they cut me out of all four Mr. I was mr. Drugs. You remember that character. I do. Yeah Billy the former mayor and much-beloved figure around town then they see you get our faces out I did it. All right, and I don't know what it is cuz once I got cut off. Yeah, flip it off though They sold smart list to Amazon And we're fucking right They love that story. Yeah in these chatty broads in D2. Damn it. It's okay

I mean, let's say you're not an entire independent. Yeah, we're not entirely On the show yeah, it's hard at any point be like you're out carrot top French Stewart Kelsey Grammer. You're the new snort Well, hey, look at that. Hey, I heart right now Amazon could go to them and say you have to do advertisements for You know racist brand chips and they have to do it. They have to have to we don't we don't we do whatever we want What we want to do is help you are listening audience. It's an honor to be nominated. Can we say that? But you don't win. I'm gonna throw a thermonuclear piss fit like absolutely gonna lose. I I also just want to say Hey, I heart radio. Thank you so much very flattered that you put us in best comedy podcast

I do like that. We're up there in best comedy and down at the bottom It's like podcasts to watch films to be buried with with Brett Goldstein one of the most famous people on the planet right now Brett Goldstein watch it. Hey us three established fellows are gonna tell you watch that young whipper snapper Brett Goldstein He's going places. Let me do this. Let me do this because we got a lot of famous. Yeah in our category for best ad read Let me do this. Let me say Congratulations huge Congratulations to chatty broads with Becca and Jess. Yes huge congratulations to Conan O'Brien needs a friend So happy to be nominated with literally with Rob Lowe and and congratulations to smart list now

If any of those shows don't mention our show by name sucks They're bad sports. Yes. Now the ball's in their court. That's a good sport Sean I know you're listening. Just it. Hey one Justin to Jason you get the idea Yeah And I heart radio one other thing to consider is that our daddy gave you the best years of his life the best years of his life You I also do I want to highlight though that it is 91 days away until the podcast award and the chance that I will remember this in 90 days Yep, very slight unless that until the hearty shows up in your mailbox. Oh, absolutely I just assumed we get an invite

They're not gonna make a if we well, that'll be a good indication. No way. Oh, yeah, great indication Hey, do you need us to be there? No I mean you can come if you want You might make mr. Bate when I come here We can just cut to some cardboard cutouts. It's fine Wait, yeah, I want to send him a picture of myself for the cardboard cut out and it's me like nodding understand Uh-huh. Yes, I understand. That makes sense. Yeah. Oh, I get it. Oh, I get it next year. Okay. I do. I get it Hey, we got a we got a strong crop of questions. Yeah, let's get let's get busy

Today's the birthday of my roommate unlikely considering that You know, we're reading it whenever they have no control over the temperature of this but Perhaps when it was written I have to assume that's it just and I don't think this was a moving target thing trying to time it out Who is a good friend of mine? Good. I do not usually make things but this year I got some help from my girlfriend and made a homemade pumpkin pie from scratch. Nummy Nummy numbers

It's the right season for that. You don't want to make that in like may. Yeah, we even pureed the pumpkin ourselves Rookie mistake, but okay. Yeah, you can buy that. You can just buy that. Don't waste your time Don't make anything. Yeah, just buy a pumpkin pie Roommate was grateful for the pie, but after a quiet night without any birthday festivities She has not yet eaten any of the pie. Okay I'm a selfish man Pie is something that my heart and my tummy greatly desires How do I get them to eat some of this pie so that I can have some

That's from pie problems in Portland. God. That's a topic Let me just start off by letting you off the hook a little bit. You may have homemade pie from scratch You're not selfish You're human. You're very human of your time You've seen that pie so you put the hard work into that pie, right? You did a little bit of the little red hen who will help me plant the wheat Who will help me harvest the wheat, right? You made the pie and now you're looking at that pie And you want to have a little slizzy for your work. I get it. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that at all

Let me say this. Yeah If you're listening to this on Monday the 18th, yeah of october Don't eat them. Don't eat the pie Okay, it's too late. Oh, okay. I say you miss your chance. So I can help in that sense Don't eat. Don't eat the pie. Let me tell you. Here's the secret. I've I've figured this out When there is any kind of birthday thing you bake a thing you make a thing whatever, right?

Yeah, shake a thing you shake a thing you take a thing you like a thing you Everybody you like Bella thing everybody's waiting for the first cut, right? You have to Justin, okay I am just Yeah, I had to stand up. Okay. I had to stand up because like Go ahead try to see fish. Well, you got to make the first cut, right? And so you got to make the first cut and so at some point you just have to start slicing things up and putting them on plates

And saying who wants it, right? Because otherwise everybody's waiting for when is it time for it? I don't want to be the person who asks for it You just got you just got to start serving it They should they should make pie molds that look like a slice is already missing Yeah, when you bake when you make it and so people just assume like it's go time Also, do you have whipped cream there? Because if there's if there's pumpkin candy pie That person is waiting for the whip and cream to go with yeah, I saw one on america's test kits You know what they did last night. It's actually just cooks country. What's the difference?

They put uh some multi milk powder into their whipped cream. Oh, yes Hey, you question ask her you fucked up You fucked up you can't put this kind of baked good pressure on somebody that lives with you Correct because you need to be able okay. Here's the way here's the way baked good baked goods gift If you give someone a baked good, right and you say please enjoy they say oh, thank you Thank you. I want to take this home A week later, they bring you back a cleaned pie plate They say thank you. It was delicious, right your heart and your head say they ate the whole thing

Maybe even in one sitting Maybe one sitting they loved it so much couldn't play did not they did not Uh fold up a business card and shovel two-thirds of it into the trash can right that did it happen They ate as much as they wanted and that might have been almost none Right, but you now have put them in a situation where every bite Every nimble Is going to be under your watchful eye. What if they cut a slice? Uh-huh While you're just trying to enjoy tv together. You're just trying to watch

Survivor together. They cut a slice They know that they are now going to consume this pie under the watchful eye of sauron Yeah, you're gonna be every move every micro micro taste every micro machine every micro no, there's no micro machine Well, they don't know here's the thing justin it's even worse than that because if you're good friends with roommate They know you don't normally bake things Oh, yeah, the pressure's so on and they watch you maybe like puree it yourself Or you said like we're in the pumpkin or something and they're like Have you ever pure it they're in their head? They're thinking have I ever seen them puree anything before?

Do they know if it was done? How do they happen? Yeah, what was that? That was just my chair pushing my chair all the way. I decided I'm not gonna need it this whole episode. Listen It's too much when you do everything yourself on scratch. There's so much room for error Did you leave did you leave a mess? Yeah Did you leave a mess because I wouldn't be happy to get the pie that did the mess that broke my heart For sure for sure. I would say 48 hours of past you can just cut into it I think you can go nuts after I think after 30 you already have you have to ask it's insane not to think about the flips have this question if we received it

It was like my roommate baked me a pie and it was really sweet and then they cut into that motherfucker I was saving it to show my mom on FaceTime Yeah, and she's been in Bermuda this whole time and so I had to wait there is a massive difference between a pie with a tiny Half inch slice out of it and a pie that is untouched pie that is untouched you could take to a bake sale You could take to the a pie that is untouched has has value you could take it to a A pawn shop The pie aftermarket is very very lucrative right now. Yeah, you have there's a market for that You could take it to someone else's house and be like

I'm a pie. I mean, you know the pie things that people say cool. Yeah, that is having it by the way the big good The second hand big good has happened to me many times where it's like, oh, yeah My in-laws gave this to me, but they gave me too much. So now I'm giving it to you And it's like, oh, I'm not gonna eat that Like there's just something about that where like, I know at this point like, oh, I'm really appreciative of this It's gonna sit on the counter for x number of days before I go Ah, man, I should have eaten that and then I'm gonna throw it away Like there's something about the disconnect where it just fades from my memory like Brigadoon

Yeah, my trick my trick is I'll bake something really delicious because you know me that's a good trick You know me. I'll bring I make something really delicious. I'll try a slight something This is really good. And if I have this in the house, I'm gonna eat this whole fucking thing Yeah, it's so good. So then I'll take it over to Sydney's parents house. I'll say hey, Tom At this point, you gotta say Mary and Tommy. I think everyone Mary and Tommy's house Tommy you gotta try this pumpkin cake. And then I'll just like Accidentally leave it there. Yeah Knowing full well that he'll consume the entire thing for breakfast

So I'm basically using my father-in-law as a more ethical garbage candy. There you go I'm using his body like a like a more ethical trash can that makes me feel good because it nourished You know what I mean? It nourished somebody Um, do you ever think that this is what how when you go to like the supermarket? And you see there's something like a half pie and that like half pie container That like the person baked it in the grocery store and they went I can have a little piece And pretty soon half the pie was gone and they were like, oh no And they had to build a special container to just sell half a pie

And it just kept happening because damn those pies look good. They do look good though I you know, uh, he gets the time he gets the little guy pies, you know, Tommy does Tommy gets the little guy. He's a big guy. He goes to walmart. He gets a little guy pie And it's a personal, you know, a part you know, a personal pie just a pie pie a personal pie a little guy pie Uh, hey, do you do you guys want to approach the wizard just look around We talking wait, is he in it? Yeah, were you guys tracking how long we just talked about pie? Because it was it was a big it was a big pie talk

It was a great question. Hurry up. You could do a pie chart of how much time we spent talking about pie That's funny. Marlena sent this one in and it's just like a it's I wish I had this one when covid started Because I don't know about you guys, but I got pretty fucking bored covid Yeah During covid stuff like starting like like it's hard for me to remember what things were like back then Yeah, what is covo? It's from the code. They were it's wicked a lot like how it is Presently it feels that way sometimes don't know. Yeah all like all the time, but it's okay because now we're gonna teach you how to pass time

Oh, this one was co-authored. I didn't know that this was something you had to actively do. I have this explained so much Yeah, you have to really force your body to move forward through the time stream. Yeah, it was co-authored by lucy. Yeah, so Let's get into it. There's so much stuff here guys Method one doing stuff Awesome so far. That's that's pretty brassy to put that out number one. Yeah Doing stuff is a big that's a big the big hit to open with that number two not doing stuff Yeah, so the first the very first thing you need to pass the time Why not dance around?

Have a dance party just for yourself If you're in a place where you can't dance choreograph a dance inside your head to your favorite song and I know that ellen's in hot water But I for her whole thing But I bet you That she's kind of stoked to not have to do that show anymore because now she can just like when the spirit moves her

She doesn't have to wait to be in front of an audience and just have a little dance Yeah, but why would I want to dance if no one is watching? Yes, exactly I think choreographing a dance in your head to entertain yourself. Yeah, I mean If that I I was gonna say that's pretty wild, but I guess that's how choreographers do it, right? Yeah, that's true That's I don't know if you have a gift or not until you start choreographing things in your brain Yeah, it's true. Travis wall one day was just like waiting in a long line at target. He was like, oh, actually that would look fucking cool

Hey, hey, hey watch me do this and tell me if it looks good because I can't see myself from here Oh, no, no, no, Travis. Travis. Sorry. Travis wall can't dance He just does the the dance moves in his brain. You know, I mean like Yeah, gotta gotta he just makes the brain dancers in his dreamscape dance But when he tries to do him with his body and it's frustrating because when he's showing somebody's like, all right So you want to twist your arms like then and do him like this and people like Travis you need to stop how Um, I organize your movie shelf that we all have

Oh, now this is good because a lot of people talk about do you do by genre? Do you do a uh, you know by director by year? No by color Ah, that's one of the yeah, that's one of the options here. Travis this spine color Which is great if you don't have any movies nearby just rank your favorite movies in your head or read books Hey, you can't just sneak books One of the oldest ways to pass time in the history of existence Like humanity has been killing time by looking at ink on paper for thousands of years And you snuck it in with that movie shelf

That you throw that in underneath. Well, you'd organize your movies, I guess Yeah, and then I'll skip that like I'm not gonna read that that's wild and then they slip in there, uh, you know There's a uh, they don't read books You could uh escape into the wonderful world of literature that could take you anywhere as long as your mind is willing to accept it Or you could figure out the right order for Pixar movies. Yay. It's so mad at my My ownership of any physical. Oh, sure. Yeah, I haven't bought a movie. I can't comprehend Can't comprehend haven't bought a physical movie or book for that matter. I think unless it's a reference book I don't buy a lot of them, but I'll be getting some get putting them away

I don't know when I want to watch season three of pentalleges bullshit. I don't know. It's true Could be anytime. I do like to have them for when uh, people come over and I say look at that That's a thing. Look at it. That's my almost complete box set of lost I am missing a few discs. I loaned them to my friend Jeremy, and I'm never getting real s of a b Uh, write a song every time you feel bubble. Whatever make up your own language. She be booby-dooby-gooby Love it. Good. We love it. What did you call me? I called you a scooby-dooby-gooby-dooby And that's my language. How is take a nap not number one. That's the number. I got time to kill

I'm taking a nap. Take a nap is actually number two Yeah, uh, wait. How is taking nap not under do things? Uh, it is this is all part of the do things umbrella. Okay clean organize or diy your room. Fuck off That's not passing time. That's work. That's chore. That's doing stuff. I All right, listen, we need to get back in our brainscape because the second method is using your imagination Imagine conversations plug your ears and make up random things that people are saying around you Wait, awesome What?

At the action of a healthy person. That is one of the wildest things I've ever heard It's not imagine a conversation you might have where you're doing both parts Plug your ears and imagine you're a fly on the wall and people are talking around you Yeah, but like that sounds wild, but you know, that's what steven king is doing all the time 18 hours a day Yeah And then he the only way to quiet it is to write it down is to write it down He plugs his ears at a nice restaurant and just looks around he just thinks like jeremy There's a big mummy behind you. No, that's not that's not right steven

I'm gonna use your name the skateboard of ghost ravine perfect When I put on this mask, it makes me into a skeleton that stabs butts. No, fuck. No, fuck. I find it. That's not it either Yeah, I would be so tempted by steven king the drop of a 50 000 word book about a skeleton Stabbed but so I ended up asking me like it's the master of horror is back What about to print it if you change the word i'll burn this building down around do you know who I am? I'm steven king. I steven king. This is my new vision. It's about a skeleton that stabs butt

You'll print mr. Boner the button 2.0 wait is steven is there a 1.0? No Turn to page 800. There's a twist. Yep. The knife turns people into skeletons and then they stab more butts Now I know you're wondering does bony butt stabber live in coastal main and the answer is yes, of course He does And he loves the red socks now stab my butt. My butt's been stabbed. I that's a right small Fantastic right small butt stab out of the but not squash Are you some kind of skeleton?

Imagine Rova's corn has never saw a butt stabber like mr. Boner before You've never seen anyone from main with the way that you are doing this axis. I've seen a correction I was I was the dad of the girl mr. Webb in in our newspaper man He's the editor of the newspaper down in global. I still remember all the words from my partner our town I used I would say this is our town and we like it that way. All I remember is that's a right smart farm All right, smart right. Okay, so there's so much more guys, please imagine that you're a spy. Okay, cool Um, yes, I do that all the time. Well, what if you're already a spy trying to pass time? Yeah, then imagine you're just

You work out office My name's dug photocopy photocopy photocopy Oh, does anyone have does anyone tried the new office milk? Oh, no, I stopped I forgot I'm a spy That's how the new james bond movie ends by the way Yeah, uh, put yourself in put yourself in someone else's head blah blah blah assign superpowers Decide what superpowers everyone in the room would have try to be creative but keep the powers useful Okay

This is exhaust. That sounds so hard. Yeah, okay. Well, then let's try this next one because it could be this one I think is a pretty fun way to pass the time Imagine you're past loved ones Have an imaginary conversation with someone that you love that has passed on what would they say about where you are in life now What would they say about what the afterlife life is like? Just a cool Normal way to kick it on a thursday afternoon. I got 10 minutes of the dmv. Hey me ma What's the internal rest like? What's the damn this stop by this stop? I say forever. Don't you think so rush limbo?

Then that's fun because you can make him be like, oh, I pooped my pants. Hell is bad I bet the the libs made this stop light the libs love their gotta go a devil stabbing me in the butt and i'm turning into a skeleton It's all real It's all very real Stephen King was right We should have listened He tried to warn us It was a prophecy

And they love the red sucks Buddy but never is a documentary I keep telling everybody why won't they listen to me? Why did we come up with a name for documentary for books? What's their name for this? I tried to say bookumentary and they laughed me out of the room. It's real Just because there's no word for bookumentary means I guess nobody knows the body but It's real real real Uh

Uh, we are halfway through play a game with yourself for other people whatever starting a tv show. Okay play a prank It's better starting a tv show. We've tried that one many many times. It's very unsatisfying. It takes a long time Trust me. You end up in a lot of zoom calls pitching your idea and then nobody wants it. Yeah Uh step five on i'm skipping a lot now step five of having fun is read a book. So they they do circle back Yeah This next one hits So paradoxical so fucking fast. Okay. We are we've moved on to the last subsection method four being productive first step one use the internet

No That's not what being productive is Just go to youtube or wikipedia reddit and boing boing I am being very productive on boing boing today Uh, okay exercise barf make a friend. Yeah, it's that easy Make a matter what you know people always say that but it's not it's not that simple It's pretty tough. Uh, and then finally dream the dream make a top 10 list for what you want to do with your life Yeah, that won't send you into a sort of existential spiral. Definitely a cool way to pass the time

Do that one while you're talking to your passed away gram-gram Just for the full like oh, I had a list like that I didn't get too many of them, but you know Just say when you're least prepared. Oh lights green Yeah, hey It's time to go you gotta go now. You're the one with all the free time, right? Why are you chatting to me? You should get busy

Get busy living or get busy being stabbed in your butt. That's what I always say Um, so I feel like we're all pretty well equipped to there's some there's like 50 more tips here Yeah, that are just like don't look at your watch. Okay Um, but we don't need to we don't we've plumbed these depths Okay, good. Excellent. Um, let's take a brief intermission to well, I mean It's not even a break. Is it because when you're getting the ads from the best in the biz Then it's more it's it's another treat. It's more more great content. I'll just say that more great content coming up next in my zone Oh

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No, I know I listened. I was so like listen. I know what a dream weaver I am, you know what I mean Right, if they could make shorts that my I could put glasses in Yeah, and then just like chill on it. Fuck that would be cool. What if you put shorts on and help you see better What if what if the shorts were made out of like, um That's glasses cleaning cloth material. Oh man. I just rub my face right on my own shorts That would be awesome. Hey today's episode is also sponsored by honey We all use internet and sometimes we use it to pass the time But sometimes we use it to buy shit and honey is a free browser extension that scours the internet

For promo codes and applies the best one if it finds it to your cart And do you think we use a promo code for honey? Do you think that honey would explode? well, um Yes, probably I hope not because I do think we have a promo code. Yeah, that's wild to think about travis Anyway, imagine you're shopping on one of your favorite sites Like okay, like point point with papa johns And when you check out the honey button drops down and it says I see you're looking at Papa john's pizza

But we do have coupons for pizza hut. It's that I don't actually know that it does that. Um, let me start over Imagine you're shopping on one of your favorite sites Okay, google And when you check out the honey button drops down wait, what am I shopping for on google internet sites? And it's like we have 10 internet sites for you today. That will be $10 But then the honey button is like Click click this button says apply coupons and you click it and it's like Hey, I found a free one. It's coupon code

Google cool site 69 and you type that in and all of a sudden the websites are free We use this. Yeah, for sure Uh, I use honey a lot when I buy like a virtual instrument bullshit because there's always sales on those going on Uh, there's so many different ways that honey has saved me money on different things that I Uh that I buy on the on websites. Honey saved my life once. It's true Yeah, I uh, I cut myself very badly and so I googled Need paramedics and honey was like I can get you those paramedics for free and I was like, what a great deal And then honey called the paramedics for me and they came and they brought a pizza with them

Yeah, see I had to spend a hundred dollars at the store for just one big bandaid If only honey had been there for me in that time if you don't already have honey, you could be straight up missing out on free savings It's literally free and installs in a few seconds and by getting it you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this podcast Get honey for free at join honey.com slash brother. That's join honey.com slash brother Hey there, I'm ellen weatherford and I'm christian weatherford and we've got big feelings about animals that we just got to share On just the zoo of us your new favorite animal review podcast We're here to critically evaluate how each animal excels and how it doesn't Rating them out of 10 on their effectiveness ingenuity and aesthetics

Guest experts give you their takes informed by actual real life experiences studying and working with very cool animals Like sharks cheetahs and sea turtles It's a field trip to the zoo for your ears So if you or your kids have ever wondered if a pigeon can count Why sloths move so slow or how a spider sees the world find out with us every wednesday on just the zoo of us Which can now be found in its natural habitat on maximumfun.org Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts You said you didn't have any bits

Bits would imply they're funny. I just have news I want a munch Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun I want two menu The spooky seasons here and for donuts are no exception Welcome munch squad. It's a podcast event podcast profile in the latest in graystone brand eating I just want to let everybody know what's going on for the scary times as far as donuts, okay? I don't want to hear it from you, Justin

Duncan just I don't want to hear it from you Okay, I want to hear it from count donut. Yeah. Well, no, well he he actually talked to me. He said he was too busy What? Hold on. I'm gonna call him After we made him we made him and this is No phone who this you know who it is count donut who this is a new fall Travis McRoy from my brother my who Travis man from all from smart list no no from my brother my brother me I'm the middleist brother like where the fuck do you get off telling Justin? You're busy after we give you your big break Yeah, that's I had the but I had a bat mitzvah

Okay, that's actually fun. That's actually really fucking funny. Hey, can I say something? Can I hey it's Justin here? That was that was a kick back kick that don't just like go pat. I had to go to a bat mitzvah Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. It's pretty funny But also like we're talking about donuts and it's Halloween donuts and like it's literally like the only time a year where we expect you To like show up and do anything fine, but you have to pay me double my normal rate that won't be dollars. Okay No, what? something Much more precious than money

Like a switch I would actually I'll give you some of my blood to not make that sound anymore That is how I do it all the time Welcome to Munch Squad. I am counter donut. The spooky season is truly here first Duncan donut as a Is as it says The sweet not scary spider donut It's a orange with a chocolate munchkin in the middle and brown icing

To look like a spy. I hate that It's very scary. We've also got the peanut butter cup Macchiato, huh? Halloween this is what the on the caphore says Halloween is always a fearfully fun holiday at Duncan this year We're going all in for the occasion celebrating our Halloween enthusiasts with not only the sweetest new peanut butter cup Macchiato

But also a very special scary sweepstakes. Oh Fun it offers one thousand dollars per day at a virtual trick or treating experience What's the scary do this if you want to go to Duncan door.com? It's a AR Experience and you can ring the bell and it's a very scary and you maybe win some money Spooky season is underway at duck donuts at what? duck doughnuts this spooky box is back And he gives a chilling goosebump it says chilling goose bumps on your this buds with delicious Halloween inspired combinations like dirt and worms. Oh, right

Chocolate icing with Oreo cookie pieces and a limited time gummy worms. Oh, so it's not really you get around you get the gummy worm Around me they're all for a limited time. I love those chewy bastards. All right So mommy listen, it's a good chalk. So mommy So mommy So mom so mommy so like a young. Oh, it's like yummy. Oh shit mommy So mommy vanilla icing with beach and streusel topping and salted caramel drizzle I would ruin one of those. Yes, and then it in turn would ruin me Halloween pumpkin. Okay. That's on the nose

Oh He listened to this description pumpkin icing. Okay with Halloween sprinklers. All right If you got a modern guest in your party Travis, are you a little more daring now? You can conjure up your own hunting creations with this bookie box decorating it It comes out with the four doughnuts for a family or eight Donuts and as a do-it-yourself with icing and toppings like a delicious gummy worms Halloween it is here and never tasted so good. That's not that daring all things. Yeah, that's more to say You didn't hear about the dirt and words. Yeah, but I mean it's terrifying

She's saying like are you willing to take the dirt to do the work that someone else could have done for you for the same price? But your kids would love to do this and they won't they'll start for three seconds and then I'll have to do it Justin's kids love to do shit and make a huge mess my kids like the idea of it and then they remember that apparently I work for them She's the scariest one of all. Oh, fuck. I don't want you to be too terrified when I launch in so make sure You've braced yourself through terror Because if once I reveal to you the name that crispy cream has chosen further Halloween line up You will be chilled to the very bone You will look to the edge of existence and you will be insane for it. Okay. Okay. Are you ready?

Yeah, I guess are you fully braced? Yeah, I know I'm yeah. I told Guillermo del Toro this shit is on bad. Oh, wow Yeah, you know Guillermo del Toro not you got so big Thank you. Yes He's a dear friend. Okay named Robert crispy cream launches Halloween lineup of Crispy scream It's everywhere under a witchy theme crispy cream has transformed to crispy They complete with a very scary logo change

All right, that actually is for new doughnuts and the treat of a dollar dozen whoo every Saturday Okay, plus a free doughnut offer on Halloween beginning today Well, it's a while ago beginning last Monday crispy scream fans will be enchanted by four new It's the yeah, it is hard isn't it? There's new doughnuts of it. This is the first one A bro cut up a bro cat Abracadabra doughnut. It's our long walk It's like a it's a doughnut enchanted cauldron doughnut

Well, it's chocolate with a pretzel witch broomstick Do you think that they came up with them in that order where they're like put a lot of work in abracadabra? And then they were just like and this one's like an enchanted cauldron. So we're just gonna call it Be which broomstick doughnut, which is an unglazed shell doughnut in purple icing Decorated with icing swirling gold stars. Okay, and then must terrifying of all the spooky sprinkled It's orange. I sing and topped with shutter to this Halloween sprinkles again. It rears its head. I shit myself Saturday is beginning October 16th to Halloween

We'll be scary great. It's like a fairy but spooky yeah for crispy scream Dollar dozen to share with family and friends with the purchase of any dozen They called them Saturday scary share Even I tell this to Richard's scary he barf on his children Even Richard's scary driven insane by this I bet his children are adults of this way too. So that's got to be wild Well, let's just hope they're not litigious. We all deserve an incredibly great Halloween this year. Here we go. Still we just Have to keep referencing in a rough year. This is a bad time and

Certainly the curie is a donut. We all deserve an incredibly great Halloween this year because of the ongoing Covid pandemic it doesn't say this but it's implied so we're turning to a crispy screen And scaring up some amazing Halloween donuts along with some spooky good deals. This is Dave's skin I probably didn't even need to tell you By the way, help us have fun too by coming by on Halloween in costume. Oh boy, and we'll give you a free donut Now you can share how you've been entranced by Krispy Kreme I'm actually getting pretty in here. This is what this is what you want. They want you to do for this incredible

Incredible event hashtag Krispy Kreme they say that if you type hashtag Krispy Kreme into your Social media it will make you insane and also your family be insane to an everyone driven bad by darkness by tweeting it If you tweet the hashtag Krispy Kreme, then you could be the first one to be driven bad by this incredible Don't be the last on your block. No, that would be so embarrassing

Now I will say this. Oh Krispy Scott, so they've already this is confusing right cuz they're writing smell cream bad Yeah, and then they're adding in the scream. It's very confusing. I've tried to do it three Here we go Krispy, let's just see the kind of heat this tag's been getting. Oh There's not You know, here's the thing We could we could take over this hashtag. No

We we could we could on this We could on this hashtag Here's a crispy scream. There's five tweets. Let's take this now count on it We can do this one. Let's have this hashtag for our very own. Here's the thing count on it We can do this but the the tweets that you do have to be completely and utterly innocuous Like had a great day. Oh, man. You guys see that tree Krispy Kreme That's the only way I will allow this count on it. Oh That seems more harmful than talking about how these doughnuts have driven you to the brink of madness

Okay, then let's do that. Just use the tag Yeah, okay, yeah, now I can get on board that Yes, I want to take over to this KR ISP Y SKRE in each spell that too, huh? It's spelled so bad So it's ours now boy, and we'll use it for just horror Just absolute absolute love crafty and like Yeah But the dark ones and you know the anyway get the doughnuts or

Get the doughnuts are dawned. It's up to you. It's starting to sound a lot like Richard stink. Mr. Dracula How about another one of these great questions? I must bring Justin back to life I kill him every time you keep killing Justin. Yeah, you want me to read the question? Oh Sorry, it's still me. I was a Huge One second, let me rip this cut them out All right, here's Justin Hey guys. Hi. Oh man. You've baked it up. Such a huge cloud. Hey, is it blood flavor?

It's blood flavor. That's no sorry blood orange. I miss the red. Okay. That's refreshing We said we're gonna do a lot of questions this time. We're gonna fire these off. I'm gonna get more ready I'm in a new city for work and on my walk to my job I pass a house with a trampoline in the side yard There is very little division between the yard and the sidewalk and the trampoline is no more than 15 feet for me as I pass Brothers, what is the protocol for using a stranger? Is it stealing if I just hop on for a few bounces on my way to work That's from ground. Let's just look. Yes. Let's just can we boys, please? Yes. It's stealing. It's stealing

You it's stealing. You all know there's other crimes other than stealing, right? Yeah There's like one might be trespassing. That's one is one that you might do. Trespouncing. It's don't do it. Let's get for real There's some great questions on this week Don't bounce on a stranger's trampoline What why? Justin if you had a trampoline in your yard if you had a trampoline in your yard and you looked outside and there was a stranger Rando adult having a bounce on their way to work with their briefcase and everything about it What if the old way hold on griffin you actually just sold it for me?

Because if they have a briefcase and everything then this is a businessman who's like finally free This is a full-blown music video moment, and I'm here for it. Yeah. Yeah, I freed the businessman. Okay. That's the only way It's the only time that's acceptable if you're holding to like a travel mung of coffee They are drinking from while you're bouncing and you have your tram your briefcase in one hand Full like suits then it's okay, but if you're doing it and grown-up clothes Looking at me through the window completely stone-faced You with the thumbs up you must leave or I must next question There's a security guard at work who keeps on trying to scare me

They regularly sneak upon me and go boo or jump out be from behind doors They're not very good at scaring me and their scares never seem to get the desired reaction This is a problem seeing as they're an amazing cook and are known to give free food to people they scare successfully This can't be real. I Try to cook and get pre-pandemic potlucks and still dream of their coconut shrimp to this day How do I give a convincing enough performance to army some delicious seafood curry? That's from a hungry hungry museum Okay, none of this week's a sense of the fact they work in a museum twists and turns this thing fucking completely For me if it was an office and people will pulling this shit

It would be like this is a place of business But if someone is dressing up like the mummy or like bony butt stabber and doing this in a Museum setting that's fun. I think that's pretty fun. Yep. Absolutely fun I think it's fun to get scared in a museum and then get yummy Like red lobster appetizers out of it like that kicks ass to me Yeah, yeah, that sounds choice now Justin and I'd love to go to a museum. Yeah, so remember those I do It's like a big house full of old day Yeah, and at night they come to life and they give you life at night every one of them comes to life

You know that shit at hotel. They have they have pictures to hang on This is like that but bigger and the pictures are way better way Sometimes they're done by people whose names you know, which is right Yeah, yeah, yeah Now you we all three have kids and I don't know about you guys, but my kid bb tries to scare me Oh, yeah, I was saying boo a lot. Yeah, so I've really tried to perfect this like oh god. Oh, oh Yeah, and then it's kind of a laugh right that it's that like oh my god. Oh Now a breath. Oh, I can see how funny I'm so happy to be alive

And if you want to say like I'm so happy to still be alive now cuz for a second there I thought that the mommy was gonna kill me. Yeah, I can't wait to eat coconut shrimp and feel alive, right? Something like that. Yeah, that's good stuff. That's good stuff Man the next coast coconut shrimp I you will be the most tasty coconut shrimp I've ever had in my life Henry's got this big plastic skeleton hand on the end of a long stick that he likes to use to like scare me like wave it around A wall or something to make me think that Bonnie but stab is coming for me and after this recording it will work every time But yesterday he did hit me in the face with it accidentally and guess what guess what I'm very scared of that skeleton hand now When it's in my boy's hands, I don't trust him as far as I can throw him and I can't I can throw him awfully far

That's a really good. Can I just say for his age? It's a pretty good gag Pretty good gag hitting your dad in the face of the big bony bus. I don't know they hit in the face part But that's good too. I mean listen. Yeah, he's little so I doubt he hurt you that much, but you do have that glass face Yeah, this net do we have time for this next one? It excites me. Yeah, I Said a fire in my dorm room trying to microwave a red lobster cheesy biscuit It's wild that we talked about it lobster twice that is wild. Okay And then I had a red lobster last time. How was it? Was it sure sure sure buzz their brussel sprouts are pretty banging. Okay. I like a brussel sprout

Yeah, yeah, I mean, I you know, I love the biscuits. They call me Cheddar Bay J Yeah, they do around this course But the brussel sprouts are surprisingly open. Yeah Hey, well, thank you for listening. Hey red lobster never disappoints except when it does. Yep And when they fall they fall hard, baby fire and ice red lobster My RA said I have to wait here until the fire I haven't had dinner and I'm very hungry the only food I have my room Don't have a microwave meals and a few remaining red lobster cheesy biscuits

Do I risk putting food back in the devices are destroyed one biscuit so far I earned a set by a set by fate of spending the evening hungry. That's from starving student I bet you any amount of money the biscuits come in like a metal line bag for the okay I bet you any amount of money. They microwaved it any amount of love this like all right So tell me again what happened. Yeah, I microwaved the biscuit and it caught fire. No, I know yeah But then the second fire What is the second third and fourth fires come out of yes, I use my extremely powerful If my dad is an industrial scientist, he didn't gave me one of their industrial microwaves. We're doing industrial stuff

The kind of used to dry out big piles of wet wood. Yeah, I just put one of these cheddar Bay biscuits in there for the normal amount 45 minutes and Boy, I would do I You here's the thing guys, you literally do have to risk it for the biscuit. Yeah, you're doing it Ship and safe is safe in the harbor, but when you take it out to see it kicks ass Yep, that's what they say that old sailor say I think it would also be perfect if you could time it so that the microwave dings two seconds after the fire department Opens your door, and there's like looking I'm like can I get can I get that because that ramen's not gonna eat itself you guys?

Oh, yeah, sorry It was on fire not the ramen. I you know what? I'm gonna eat this wrong and get out of your way I'll be in the common room Watching bones because it's always on what's that? I'm arrested that makes sense. Oh, no wait. You're the fire department Yeah, well you're gonna go to fire jurisdiction. I Bet hey dude. They have to for arson and stuff. Yeah, I guess hey You're RA is a dick If I accidentally set a fire in my house, and then somebody came up to me

It was like now sit in your shame like it's already an I know I fucked up like I said a fire in the place I sleep in I know I fucked up I don't need the fire department to come say did you know you did a fire where you sleep. Thanks fire guys I know all fires are illegal, and so if you started a fire without their blessing Yeah, they will come down and you're pretty hard. Yeah, good. Hey RA listen any RA listening This is your chance to score major points because listen this person is both embarrassed and hungry. You're gonna say like hey Here's five bucks. Go get some food. I'll take this one Doug and like right there You're a hero. You're a hero to Doug who like there listen

Question askers a student right there in that oh that's so weird transition between Childhood and adulthood and it's that worst time to tell a fire person that you set fire to a cheddar-baked biscuit and a microwave A five-year-old does this it's fine. They're fine. I mean a 45 year-old man sets fire to a cheesy biscuit He answers to no one, but like a 19-year-old does this no excuse and you have to answer to someone the worst The worst I'm sorry. It's Harvey and young, but there's good parts, too Yeah, like when you don't overcook the cheddar-baked biscuit just cook them right this is a learning experience. I bet you'll never do that Yeah, but maybe you might you might immediately afterwards according to this question They've learned nothing

Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. I hope you've learned something Throughout the course of this experience or else we haven't done our job. Hey You want to come you want to watch us do a live show come particular to your computer not to a physical location Do you want to go to a? Computer or TV or whatever and want to just do a task show we're gonna be doing a hoot nanny part three What do we agree on for a title? I mean hoot nanny nanny is the only thing that makes sense But I do think we landed on three nanny Yeah, three nanny. Okay toot nanny was just really good and right there and so we had to kind of keep going with

I wanted to call it toot nanny to but like wait, I thought that would be confusing There's a space. It's a space cowboy operates November 5th 9 p.m. Tickets are 10 bucks If you get it's a bit died a wife for its last has virtual and the VOD Video under man is available for two weeks after the show if you haven't seen hoot nanny There's a recap on our YouTube channel to catch you up with with the story so far such as such as it is And I will be indulging in that You will know exactly the things that I know about the hoot nanny story also very exciting tickets for the shows At Emerald City Comic-Con go on sale October 28th

It's gonna be my brother my brother me on December 2nd and Taz on December 3rd Both shows will be general attendance. So I know a sign-seeding, but there will be ADA compliant seating Available you do not need an Emerald City Comic-Con badge to buy tickets to the shows But you will need tickets to the shows obviously and Emerald City Comic-Con has safety protocols in place including require Proof of full vaccination or a recent negative COVID test to attend and in addition Mass are required while on the premises and capacity is going to be reduced If you want to check out more info on the show including the full health and safety protocols as well as ticket links and all that stuff It's available at bit.ly

Macaroy tour thanks to Montaigne for the use of our theme song my life is better with you and find to find that on Internets and on Books books a million Well has it and I don't know about that. It's just those two places Make sure you check out macro merch calm give that pin of the month, which is hellraven a.k.a. Dale Craven from Taz just us That benefits the national Latina Institute for reproductive rights Which builds Latina and Latinx power to fight for the fundamental human right to reproductive health dignity and justice There's a lot of other stuff on there in case you missed the news

We've been doing Taz weekly for a while now So there's a good chance to jump in on ether C and this is the second week of the max fund block party maximum Fun is throwing a virtual block party through October 22nd all shows are releasing episodes that are especially welcoming to new audiences And if you're encouraging a friend to try out our show or any of the shows on maximum fun This is a good time to share those with them and there's a lot of other stuff too including games volunteer events a limited edition poster Go check it out at maximum fun dot org slash block party Y'all want a final yahoo?

Yeah, this finally yahoo was sent in by Derek okay Jeter oh And thank you. Derek. Thank you, Derek Jeter. It's asked by yahoo answers user pot Sorry, I think you cut out yeah, my microphone has a short in it. It's asked by yahoo answers user Good Pikachu whoa, yeah the little rat The lighting rat yeah, yeah, um and fucking Pikachu fucking asks

Hello Hello, I am just wondering hey guys quick question I Go ahead I Hey guys quick question. It's me Pikachu. I got yelled at when I Vaped on an airplane and I'm just wondering How to move on

I Travis McRoy that was an okay one. I'm Griffin McRoy. I can do better than that This is my brother my brother make is your dad square on the lips It's better It's better you Maximum fun org comedy and culture artists owned audience supported