My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 597: Foy’s Boys

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

We’re making an effort to make this show normal again, which means more sportball talk? Is that right? In any case, we’ve also brought on guestpert Ify Nwadiwe and his unique expertise to scrutinize Taco Bell morning beverage offerings and sunglasses-laundering operations at Disney.Suggested talking points: Thick Johnson, Toss the Pork Flesh, How Big a Boy can you Fly, Burrito Fund Rollover Bucks, The House Always Wins When You Go To Taco BellNational Black Women’s Justice Institute: https://www.nbwji.org/ Huntington Children's Museum: https://hcmkids.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better It's better it's better

It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me It's an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. I'm your middlest brother Travis the Great My name is Griffin McElroy. I want to warn everybody there was a moment where I Like what I said my name in a what could be like a melodically tuneful manner Yeah, and I be for the first time in so long. Well, no, I just I I had the compulsion in that moment of I'm gonna sing the rest of this and I'll make everybody sing the rest see episode. It's a musical episode I just want to tell you guys like I fought that off like I fought that unlistenable

I appreciate you fighting that off because it saved me from having to do that My like myself. Yeah, and I I don't know that I Physically mentally emotionally could have done it. Are you guys just gonna let me get away with adding a flourish to my name like that? What was the flourish? I was thinking about the thing I was gonna say rather than listening. Yeah, I'm so sorry about that That's okay No, I said Travis the Great cuz I'm watching the great and I thought I need to flourish and yeah, we fancy or like Travis the Powerful, I don't know. I'll find it, but I want to talk about Guys, okay, I mean this is gonna depend on where people are listening to this because

There are laws differing in state-to-state, but I don't know about you guys. I got a lot of money riding on the big game Okay Interesting, that's really fascinating. I want to know how much It's basically all of our collective life savings Oh, and I have been so curious why our financial advisors did tell us to Have a shared pool of life savings We're living three different lives at this with children I mean we have dependents and wives and everything

I I paid the financial advisor to do that because I knew the big game was coming up and you know every year You know, I I watched the game and I think I should have I should have bet because now I know who won and I should have bet Yeah, it's so easy when you know Like a sherry and logic and here's the best part man. I put about 75% Of our life savings on the big game and about 25% on the puppy bowl So I figure one way or the other Yeah, we're gonna come out big because I bet 25% of our life savings that the puppy ball would be adorable

And that was it was I mean to be fair is two-to-one odds adorable 50 large on the bingles in the puppy bowl Because I thought the bingles are playing. Well, no, I'm let me do my joke. Okay, I Put 50 large on the bingles in the puppy bowl because I am wagering that they will release a Handful of bangle tigers during the puppy bowl because let's be honest those games are rarely intense or

Like dramatic the stakes are so low. It's the ball and I want to be like, yeah But did he fucking get that in sack lunch from fucking smashing the QB into fucking bone meal? That's I notice the puppy ball is very globetrotter asking that way Griffin. Yeah, they're very Relax on some of what I would consider the rules that make football fun to watch Right, and it's just like where what's happening here? And the puppies never beat the human players. That's like what's the point, right? Right, right, right, right. It's it's kind of never seen I've never seen one of the puppies get thrown out of the game from sportsman like conduct, but I've seen him piss

Yes, absolutely if like one like, you know if Troy Akeman just took a big one right there. Yeah, thank you. They would kick him right out Thick arm fucking dammerito just took a dumper right there on the 50. That's not gonna They're not gonna let him finish that one out. I Haven't announced it or calling it the Super Bowl from this point forward. I decided this come at me Please come suit. Nothing would delight me more than for the National Football League the NFL or as I call it No fun left

Come come get me Remember back when people used to be able to take swords on the field come on Raff let the but the fellas what are you afraid of I? Had this moment after the so after the bingles secured their place The bingles are in it. Yeah shooter. My man shooter got that big kicker-uski for the right That's why you draft a kicker. That's why you draft a kicker. That's why you draft a kicker And I had this thought like I'm gonna you know what dad loves the bingles Uh-huh, I'm gonna get him tickets, you know, like I'm gonna get I'm gonna get I'm gonna get him a flight

You know, this will be birthday and Christmas come on whatever But I knew that it would fill up, you know flights from Cincinnati to LAX were about to get like wilds I was right. I want to do it right now, and I was like I was checking the flights on that I was like, okay, maybe you know, I've got a lot of miles saved up from traveling And then I was like, oh wait a minute. He'll need actual tickets to the game for oh, yeah, that's a good I know yeah, so I went on to to the the place where they sell the tickets on the internet. Yeah, and um The bad ones are six thousand dollars. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey everybody It's don't do that. Yeah, it's a it's a after all it's a game guys

It is a game. It's a game and the players aren't getting paid. They're doing it for fun. Thank you So like where's this money going right down the toilet? That's where it's going Don't do six thousand dollars for a ticket to the no Super Bowl in the bad seats where you can't I think about There's a scalper somewhere right who's who bought those tickets at somehow probably a robot Bottom and there was like I'm gonna resell these for six thousand dollars Like they fought with their human slash AI brain that six thousand dollars was like this is a good choice This is a normal amount. Yeah, this is an amount someone will pay to sit in

Bad seats to watch people run at each other real fast and that's yeah That's really all that's really all football is you know what I mean? Well, except for kickers Can we talk about I'm I've decided to make this the only Pro kicker podcast on earth. Yeah, like our whole deal professional kickers Yeah, our whole deal. What's our whole deal kickers are underappreciated in the NFL and I'm talking listen hear me out Place kickers. Yes, but I'm also talking about like the punters It is if it if it kicks It sits

With us. That's not if it kicks it sits with us in our home. We'll talk to you We'll talk to you come come to us kickers come to us kid This is a new kicker podcast for kickers. This is the kickers only. Hey, can we do a little role-play trap? Yeah, just for fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna be a kicker Okay, and I want you two guys and I really I don't want you to do your usual Sports ball like never never do that. Yeah, no respect I have for kickers. I would never do that Okay, I want you to make your best run at it. All right talking if I was talking to a kicker if we got a kicker on today What would I say?

Well, yes, that's a good start the kicker segment. Yeah, and I'll be like a kicker All right, you have onto the show. Can you do you have any music on the board juice that you can kind of like throw down for us? That's the same Hey, welcome to faces and laces. I'm here with kick Johnson. Am I not here? Do I not get to fucking introduce myself on faces and laces? Okay. Thank you. Welcome to faces and laces I'm your host to Travis McElroy. Welcome to through the uprights. I'm your host Griffin McElroy. That's better actually Okay. Yeah, we're joined now by kick Johnson kick That's that's that's probably not his name. No. Well, it's his nickname. His real name is Rick Johnson, but they call him kick

Kick I just want to say excellent Johnson is that his name or hey, hold on. Let's ask him. Hey, Rick Yeah, can I can we call you thick Johnson cuz it's like a funny like you have a oh, it's like a penis I'm like I showed you showed you can call me whatever you want. Just don't call me late for dinner. Oh Oh, thanks, Nick. Now listen, um, I just want to say man. Great. Oh, are you okay? Charlie horse get like Yeah, yeah, you try bananas my body is riddled my legs specifically my kicking leg, right? riddled with pain

Okay, 23 hours out of Every day. Oh is a waking health. What happens during the one hour? Shoot me up. The doc shoot me up real good. Oh with that. They call they call it spinach, but it's in this It's in a syringe. I know it's not my spinach But it releases me from the the the hell right my every day is right long enough for me How old are you hey thick? How old are you? 22 Jesus Jesus do you find it hard to sort of navigate the can I request? Oh sure bet Bethany you said this was a curse free

Sorry, my sister did we cut did we cut? Sorry? It's said the boy to the Lord's name in vain. Oh, sorry Crackers man. That's wild. You're 22, huh? Oh, so did you just call me a boy? I'm 16 years. You're seeing your kick It's an affectionate That we have for other players. Oh, you see me as another player in this field of Castiglia, it's a weird way to say that Hey, do you talk about? What kicking or my career? I was trying to kick and then your bedeviled leg came up And we were very we keep trying to do our job. You've brief

There's brief Valleys between the crests of pain right are we in one of those manageable? Agony as the hellish sine wave that is my life right rises and falls Dark is something in a valley. I mean something in a valley right now in terms of great got it got it Got it. So what's your record? What's your longest? What's the biggest kick you've done? What's your biggest kick? We could have looked at your favorite. I have been known to I came short at one point of The record held by Dan Strasinski. Yeah, the Falcons. He holds it down at about 60 Yards and I did kick a 58 and a half yarder. Oh

when in our matchup against the the Tennessee did you ask did you ask the coach if you could scooch it back? Yeah, two or three yards just so you could Scoot scoop that that that record. I Would never compromise okay, we're we're gonna have a question for you Go for travel when your pain management is going all right, you know what I mean And you're in one of them valleys you think you could kick a ball hard enough that you could kick it through a man I always think about this Or or or sorry sorry sorry sorry or you kick it at him and it hits him in the head and their head goes flying off like

Oh good question and then the head goes through and the head goes through and the and then the refs are like three points I guess I guess it counts. There's no rule against it I'm surprised you guys are privy to this, but that is how you become the kicker for a team Oh, you gotta kill the previous kicker. You have to blast one of those beautiful pig skins right through the Uprights that are their ribs. Oh, I think just blast clean through it's rough and honestly It's supposed to be a private and I'll be frank tasteful ceremony Oh, that's sure between two consenting adults, right? I have another question for you kick Is there anything in the rulebook?

Okay, yeah, let him back. Okay. Is there anything in the rulebook that says a dog can't play football This is one that we like to ponder. Yeah Seems like a straight up and down. Yes or no question. Yeah Yeah, sorry was that there's a sick cuz every time I say this another one of you kids gets a wild idea You're gonna trade up your pup to take out Johnson, but there is Nothing in the rules that says a dog Can't play football right? Oh, I will say yeah

They are not Reliable no dogs They're reliable usually but not in terms of of play. They don't yeah autographs. Yeah They won't join the Union which to me is weird. Yeah, but they refused Because they say it's a big issue. You cannot put rings on those paws That's true. Well, they you're not gonna get a ring with the dog behind the ball. It's it's a humans It's a human. It's a it's a fingers game. You need a person, right? You need a person you need to take Johnson. You need a dancer since key you need

You know any of the many other kickers with which I am well-coined Do you weird and we all fight boys is plenty of thick to go It sucks we would like to ask as we ask everyone where you do buy your pants that have one big pant leg good question This is an excellent question. I you stitch fix. Oh That's kick-ass But it's a special service that they maintain just for me called fix fix Oh, they just get the pants just for me not stitch fix Sorry mine was not not thick thick. Hey, you sounded a little bit like like the agent from from matrix

I get that a lot Mr. Anderson the prices on thick thick are so good Can I ask you a question kick cuz Griffin said kick-ass and made me think about it Are you ever afraid that like you'll lose control and you'll kick someone in the ass and you'll kick them so hard That you'll kick them in half or that their spine will shoot out of their mouth like in moral combat, and I'll go through the uprights That would be impossible in when I am not on the field my Kickin leg is weighted down with over 130 pounds of dry weight. I wasn't asked about that

I can see that here under the table. So you Lifting it is a torturer. There would be no way of me kicking a civilian in the open world Yeah, because of the weights on the leg. They only release those when it's time to make the doughnuts go nuts If you know what I mean, yeah, I do So we're gonna let you go thick, but I have one more thing or not I don't have anywhere else. Okay, you can stay here, but just please don't talk anymore I'm worried about what it's doing to your voice, but I have one more question for you thick Do you have any predictions on how you think the puppy bowl is gonna go this year?

A lot of people in my circles are saying, you know, I still cute. That's the way we're leading right now. Oh, really? I'm not allowed to bet anymore. Sure. Oh, so it's not like a league thing It's like a personal thing for your personal thing between me and my my lord. Oh, okay, cool. And who's that? Sorry, you don't know him. Oh, okay. It's the oh, this is like a feudal situation. It's a different Yeah We have our own D&D our own language Yeah, our own dress code and kicks ass. Yeah, it's well. Sorry. That's blasphemy Yeah, you don't like it when we take kick in vain, huh? Please don't take kick and rain

Got it. God this pocket. Hey kick or thick. Don't you agree that this podcast was a fucking great idea? Like a really good idea for a podcast. I think you got nowhere to go Okay, great. All right, just like a ball I gotta go pumpkins. Okay. Hey, Justin Griffin. Yeah, yeah Oh Directly from from through the uprights in the rental we If a chicken says all chickens are liars, right is the chicken telling the truth No

This comes from Paul by the way to her manager Paul white chick. Oh, thank you to her manager Paul Yeah, why can I ask why it had to be a chicken? Interesting is this is this the riddle is that like a chicken can't speak and so the chicken cannot be telling either a lie or the truth Do not I mean? Hey Griffin. Yeah, you solved it. Oh, did I really? Yes, but here's why I wanted this guy The answer is chick. What what's the answer chickens cannot talk? but Hey, this shit, but this goes deeper because here's what I would like to pause it this question is written by a chicken Right, so all chickens are liars a chicken tells you that but then the chicken also says like no

Don't worry chickens can't talk and you're like now. Hold on. I don't know. What's up? What's down? You got me all turned around here chicken. I don't know what to believe you guys Is that I'm sorry trap. Hold on one second. Is that really it? That chickens cannot talk But this is the riddle that you've brought to us today. Yeah, this is the way I brought to you cuz All chickens are liars, but I got it. I gotta say man. I think we've moved past this I think our brains have evolved to a point where Like we know the dark corners of the internet so well that the riddles will not

Like I literally just shitted the answer out in an instant and I think that's a lot about sort of how I've been turned Oh, no, I broke Griffin a long time ago between riddle me piss and sad libs and of course work of art It's very clear that I've broken Griffin's brain and somehow Dragged him down right to where I'm at all the time right my brain operates all the time Yeah, and I'm okay. I tell you I'm pretty proud of it. Yeah, I broke a human being thought process Yeah, I'm but a bubba bubba loving it anyways chickens or liars Yeah, Justin, maybe do a question cuz we don't think we did any last episode and yeah I didn't see the response to the last episode. They loved it. They love that shit

I've been cast in a play which my character is a former high school American football champ. You don't need to do that on this show. This is a safe space. Is it play picnic? Is it picnic? What but I don't know you because two of us were talking at once why does Travis I'd make his great Reference to picnic like I it's just that I have a degree in theater. Justin. I don't know if you know that One scene I even hold and toss around the old pig skin. So you this person knows some of this line going However, I have no real-life experience with this. I've never tossed the old pork flesh. We don't call it that Yeah, the shows in a month that I don't want to embarrass the rest of cast of my shrod You are siblings surely you spent many hours throwing around the old ham rind

That is what can you tell me how to convincingly hold one lights up on a touchdown? No one Google? I will say this is all I know dad taught us Okay, these two things I know are important. Yes one Wrap your hand around the ball and put your fingers on the lace a lover's embrace on the laces Yes second tight spiral tight spiral also in like a tight spiral This is something dad taught me which is You're really worried about it hitting you in the face

But it's not gonna hurt nearly as bad as you think it is watch and then like bonk, you know, right? It does hurt, but it didn't hurt as much as I thought it was for what is a bunch of leather like a oblong leather balloon Yeah, that shit hurts if it hits you hard and the other the other guys throw it fucking hard man Same with a baseball. That's another like very prominent dad lie by the way like you're afraid of it hitting you But it's not gonna hit that hard. Yeah fucking hard man baseball is hard like a rock and it's all ball Don't let the name fool you still sucks to be hit by my big Weird that that somebody invented softball and they're like pretty soft and no one was like Oh

Way softer things my dude. Do you think it was invented before there were other soft things? Yeah, maybe is that possible? Well, until then everything was hard and so instead this is this has a little give to it I'm gonna call it soft and people said I wonder if there's anything softer than this I was playing with a softball in my bongo bat at the park one time somebody threw the softball at me shattered my fucking bongo bat That shit did not go sailing which is the typical response you do get from a bongo bat Anyway, you need a props master or someone who is going to Go up on the catwalk above the stage with a football tied to a string and like maybe a fishing rod if we want to go full sort of

Goofy movie on it and then like you make a ball throwing motion And then they just kind of swing the football on the long fishing line to the other person Do you know I mean? Oh even better practical Practical effects if you're doing some practical magic and you want to like show up like really make it clear that this person is really good At football what you're gonna do the props master up there You're gonna whistle and they're gonna like bring the football to you like you called it through the air. Oh, that's cool Right Yeah, do they have the money to get like flying by four in oh

Rigging that's huge a huge reference that four people are gonna get definitely. Yes, but I'm saying just listen For a second that's a company. There's one company that flies Peter Pan's around If you want to fly somebody in in a show not just like in a plane to your house you get flying by foyer Okay, you get flying by foyer. They're gonna come they're gonna. They're gonna do swing back and forth They're gonna do up and down maybe even forward to back if you've got the money. Yeah, isn't that It's so I think about there's one. Why is that still in there? Why is it still in there? Get out. I don't need to know that. Oh, why is it in your head? Why is it in my head? I don't need to know it I directed Superman. It's a birthplace superman a musical about Superman. That's

Like and they and and they help with that. That's the only opportunity I've got it. I've used the information I've slumped on millionaire. Yeah, get out of my head There's never gonna be a time where you're just like sitting there and someone's like, I don't know man Could there possibly be a company that specializes in flying specifically children in like shows and you're like Wait, what did you say? Yeah, I know it and they're like, who are you? You're a hero. Um, do you think that they do big boys? Like us Do you think they do big boys like us? That would be a great

It's funny would it be if at one of our live shows and we wouldn't announce it ahead of time And we wouldn't even say which one of the three of us it was But we're like do the kick-ass final yahoo and then just one of us stands up and flies off this stage ascends They're in vegas. You think they're open yet? Flying by boy. Oh, you mean like time change wise. Yeah, I got their phone over right here I could just call them up and ask how big a boy ask how big a boy they can do and if I do podcast stuff Hey, do you do pod you fly for podcast?

You guys have exactly 10 seconds to talk me out of this. Well, I don't think they're open That's not gonna happen. Just I want the mental image of us doing a live show only one of our shirts looks vaguely rectangular and well, we'd all have to wear the harness fly Yeah, we have to wear the all we'd all wear the harness But only one of us would fly away and it would that would keep a little surprise in there Yeah, right, right fly tonight. Yeah, and we could do it of like there's a buzzer under your seat You're all gonna vote on which one you think is gonna fly away. Can you nail it? Yeah, and then like paul comes out and hooks up. Maybe that's it, right?

So paul has the hook we're all wearing the harness and you're all in the audience gonna vote We don't know we don't know paul's gonna sneak out hook one of us and then We'll talk it. We'll be like oh paul. I got a wicked wedge right now. Can you come fix for me? And he'll come out be like so insulting you make me fix your wedge, but really it's not a wedgie He's hooking the cables up. That's gonna let us Paul. Could you adjust my balls for me? For like for like a minute and a half until you know, it's safe Adjust my balls so they're in the same position. I'm not calling. I'm tired of I want to make this I want to make this show normal again

I was thinking about it and um, I just feel like after the last few I was gonna say episodes, but I think I mean years I just feel like I want this show to get back to normalcy, you know Like it's like a normalcy has to start somewhere and just in saying it's gonna start here It's just like this is not the sort of podcast where people call flying by foy the standard of the industry like

When they did mary martin peter pan on broadway flying by foy NBC mbc was there and they did the live versions in in the 50s Yeah, that's flying by foy and then When they did the one with um, allison. Um, what's her face? Yeah on on to allison janny No, allison. It was allison janny williams because brian williams daughter. Um, the the the the the flying by foy Like you can only get them and they only do peter pan. They don't only do peter pan, but like you know, they clearly also do superman Gotta do you gotta get foy you gotta get foy Gotta get how jelson does it say on their webpage how many people they've lost

They have a well no they haven't dazed since uh boys boys have fallen Well now to be fair in the list and they it's a very it's a very touching memorial wall where it says foys boys You no longer need our religion because you're flying with your own angel Oh That's now bobby to be fair. We didn't drop him. We launched him too hard That was a different one. So if anything we did it too good This this one over here, uh ricky. He choked on a carrot, which we did tell him to not eat carrots While in the harness we settled that one and like out of court

So don't worry that one where that's why there's a question mark over his face I do I if you do go to a production of a foy production of peter pan Where there is a boy based whoopsie That's got it. That's got to be on some burb man or the unexpected virtue of ignorant shit where it's like, whoa, damn That child's committed to the bit. He ran into that armoire going really fast Don't remember that from peter pan, but I don't remember that bit But I loved it. He is not getting up. Damn He is selling it. Wow

Wow, man the place then the rest of the place stopped. Whoa, I've never seen something like this commitment uh, I I uh, I think we should start our own flight company like to do perform or flying like Our own but it's like the whole bit is that we undercut flying by like whatever flying by foy hats for you Like we we will we will do it for less. We're called flyers Yeah, and with a z and you could just Get us for cheaper and our slogan is basically just as good

Yeah It should be fine Not too high. I'm going to hit up alexandria ocasio-cortez About breaking up this fucking boy based flight monopoly that boys got on the because like thank you crush's creativity And competition think of all the different ways we could be flying boys right now Yes, flying with boys. That's the name of ours flying with boys. We're going to try some new innovative solutions They may not always work right, but we're willing

To try something new foy has been rigging kids the same way right right? We're going to rig them a different way Right exactly and you know what? There might be a few breaking eggs. Listen. I'm not going to say that we won't break a few eggs Right legs Legs and eggs. That's another thing that i'm trying to pitch Maybe that's the name of the company. Yeah, our new flying company legs legs and eggs legs and eggs Can I say for like, um Just for illegal reasons, uh, just a real quick legal disclaimer

Uh flying by foy. I have no idea if they've ever lost anybody. I will say they do not have a page called foy's boys We're Boys they've lost. Yeah, hold on our lovingly pitch. Why don't we do this? Why don't we just leave a gap here where we can drop in the specific audio that flying by foy's lawyers Script out for us Let's leave a break right because they're going to use some terminology that like we can't generate right now Because we don't have law degrees So we'll just leave like a little gap here and then we can drop that in later

Yeah It was probably silence because we're incompetent, but still yeah, definitely. Um, should we go to my Yeah, let's go. We're sponsored this week by flying by foy. Oh, no Travis go we are sponsored this week by bombass. No, yes Yes Daddy like a bomb ass Bombass's mission is simple make the most comfortable clothes ever and match every item sold with an equal item donated So when you buy bombass, you're also giving it to someone in need

What what else is there to say the clothes? They're comfortable. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but you know what else is comfortable Giving giving to others the joy in your heart. There's always room for more joy Right, that's comfortable slide into this joy My friends slide into giving get comfortable. Put the giving on wear it like a shirt. You don't need clothes You're covered. Well, you do okay. You do need clothes from bombas, right? Yeah, but also you can shroud yourself in mystery and joy everything they make it soft You're just going, huh? Yeah, well, I wanted to make it feel personal

Right. Yeah by just sort of going. Well, it's kind of word jazz. That's what I was going for Yeah, you know, I'm gonna hit something and then I didn't so I just stopped playing like any good jazz Is this anything? No, okay. Okay. I'm just gonna I'm gonna go Um, okay. I'm gonna turn in my trumpet and go. Okay, great. Thank you for having me at chicken on a stick You do need to read this last sentence verbatim, which means verbatim means non-jazz no jazz Inside jazz. Okay. Go to bombas.com slash my brother and get 20 off your first purchase. That's b o No

That's b o m b a s dot com slash my brother for 20 off bombas.com slash my brother Be don't bump bo be don't bump. That's wild. Hey our next sponsor is stitch fix. It says right here Say whatever baby jazz Get silly with a baby. It's about the ad copy. You don't read Hey stitch fix is our other sponsors week and they they fucking kick ass This is one of those that I feel like has ascended into the You should be doing this already don't need us to do this anymore

Because you you know how they do it you you fill out this profile quiz about what you like What your usual stuff is that you wear what your sizes are and then they'll you know A stylist will send you a box with five things in it that fit those and then you keep what you want And you send back what you you know, maybe aren't vibing with and then you have like a dope clothes collection Do you guys have a like sign up for like a subscription thing and then you completely forget about it? Yes, and then like it's been like three years and you're like, oh my god How much money have I given do you think that that's what's happened with stitch fix and us? Is like they just like keep buying and then one day they're going to be like

Oh, we're still buying ads on my brother and my brother and me, right? Surely everyone there knows about stitch fix it this way. Well, don't tell them that's about the about the worst thing You've said on this. Yeah, it's counterintuitive. Um Also, oh, yeah, no one knows no one knows about stitch fix If you want to harness the lightning-esque power of stitch fix yourself and feel like a god Uh, they got stitch fix freestyle, which is an online shop that is customized based on your Your desires your desires you're watching Your you're sorry, right? I mean for clothes. They don't oh, okay

Yeah, there's not I was scared for a second Well, you shouldn't well regardless. Don't be scared and yeah, if you want to get started you just take a style quiz and it's so easy and It's you just do it get started today by filling out your freestyle quiz at stitch fix dot com slash my brother And get free shipping and returns stitch fix dot com slash my brother Does stitch fix sell dom jeans? Does anyone know? Nobody knows I've been wanting to get into those ever since I read 50 shades of gray. They sounded really comfortable Uh stitch fix next fix send me some dom jeans and some mom jeans while you're at it

And I would actually love some dom telloese jeans. Yeah Hi, I'm bez and I'm Teresa and we're the hosts of one bad mother a podcast About parenting parenting is hard and we have no advice But we do see you doing it honk if you like to do it Didn't we have a bumper sticker a while back that was like honk if you did it? That's what I think it was honk if you're doing it Why didn't we not ever make those? We did make them. I think they're still in the max fun store Honk honk you're doing it Thanks, bez. So are you each week? We'll be here to remind you that you're doing a good job

You can find us on maximum fun dot ork honk honk I listen to bullseye because jesse always has really good questions What did john malkvitch wear when he was 20? I don't know how to describe it. There's always that moment where jesse asks a question that the Person he's interviewing has not thought of before I don't think anyone's ever said that to me or acknowledged that to me and that is so real Bullseye interviews with creators you love and creators you need to know from maximum fun dot ork and npr Here's another question

So I pulled into the drive through a taco bell for a breakfast burrito They took my order, but when I got to the window, they told me their system was down And that quote it was my lucky day quote and that quote my order was free and quote I've done too many quotes. I realize that now They handed me my food and then closed the window awesome free food except They forgot to give me my drink Oh my god, this is really hard. I need my morning caffeine boost brothers Would it be okay for me to flag them down to ask for the missing drink? I ordered

But didn't pay for or should I just be happy with a free burrito and scram? That's from thirsty in tennessee I have no idea I don't know guys You would think just based on how much we've discussed taco bell on this show Which is I would say more than the avarage bear Uh, we would have a sort of foot hold on but I'm in I'm I'm in the tall grass I'm I'm like guys. I'm spiraling. Can I be honest?

Yeah, this I'm spiraling melting my noodle. You know what I mean? This is this is our white whale. This is this for me is our greatest challenge Like we've solved almost everything up to this is our more hearty. I'm just gonna say that my entire life Including give birth to my two girls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's this is like nine. Yeah, exactly No, I mean I you carry those for nine weeks because that's more more accurate That's more accurate and back to back to you. It was 80 weeks total. I got it. Oh, yeah I'm gonna call uh if you y away. Okay. Perfect. Now. Are you sure because we only get one phone a friend per episode? What? No, no, no, no, it's fine

It's less fun when you actually use real touch tone sounds There's a lot of numbers. Is this like a total like Then I got a hundred thing. What's happening? Uh-huh He's not it's ringing. Are you sending a message like morse? Couldn't get that sound effect. Hey, how's it going? How's everybody feeling? Oh, hey, if you dare wake you up I'm sorry, man. Oh, you know, you know, I'm always ready to answer the call. So As like the ghostbusters. Yeah. Yeah, wait. Have you been waiting? Have you been waiting this whole time for a whole year?

Yeah, I've been sitting in a dark room staring at my cell phone. Uh, it's been Three to five years. I don't know what time is anymore, but oh boy Oh boy. Oh, you've missed so much in the world. Oh, really? Oh god. I'll tell you it's not great We got bud. We got some pretty heavy news to drop on you Uh, yeah, I think it's been not going. Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? I was ready to just step outside You know barefaced and uh start doing my ritual of kissing everyone I see It's so funny that you said that. Oh, oh boy. Oh, yeah, really? There's this new rapper the baby, uh, and I think he's got good opinions and

Yeah And you know, you know how you campaigned so hard for trials for the election No way. I was I was on the street By the way, he is he is the toddler now. Um, that's one of the big things that happens Uh, if you're you're a comedian you're an actor a writer, but uh, you're you're just Read his email signature as as no That's his biography. What do you want me to say? What do you want me to say? You talk you professionally talk about John Cena

You're someone who for a living talks about how funny is that opening number by the way I'm never skipping the intro. I'm watching it every time. It's so good. Crashing up every time Uh, anyway, uh, we got a question and uh, I gotta read it to you because you wouldn't have heard adding hearing it But yeah, let me sum it up to like basically this person got a free burrito But not but they didn't get the drink. They ordered and Sissies because of because they didn't get the so it's like they didn't know if they should go back for their drink Or they should just appreciate the free food they got and I just kind of wanted to take your temperature real quick

Oh, yeah, no, I'm glad that you know That you you've hit me up, uh for this, you know, I I would like to say I'm a Taco Bell expert I I was there for the launch of the breakfast menu. I went there that morning. I I have pictures Oh, wow saved of me and two other sad fellas who was like, we gotta we gotta be here day one See what they got going and uh, you know, I also I've worked at disneyland. Oh, wow You're probably wondering where this is gonna come into play, but I'm gonna let you know right now Working at disneyland. We have these things called magical moments. You try and create a magical moment

For your guests at the park. What is a way and here's what I'm thinking That was a magical moment Between between them, you know Taco Bell and their system's toxicity of the city of the city So So You gotta just take it and scram you got I don't think you you know You're just taking because they're already having a bad day As someone who has worked in the fast food setting like it was cool for you, but I'm telling you on the inside

They're losing their mind. They're like, what are we gonna do? Uh, did it count when I clocked in am I working for free? That that's if the clock is working I think your reaction to it depends on what level Of like what level you are with the Taco Bell corporation, which the yum brands, right? Is that yeah Uh, I I feel like if you're a lower level sort of cog, it made me turn it into a pretty cherry day Honestly, we're gonna be able to slap that that big wear clothes sign on the window Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm sure if I'm sure if you would have returned for your For your drink and walked in it would have been like the island in yellow jackets like they're all

wearing like deer bones and they're like We are free from the bell I don't love that Taco Bell Cells coffee. I guess they don't say coffee explicitly. This could be a morning Baja blast They can't they cannot start their working day without being blasted by Baja Uh, but it feels like coffee to me and yeah, I it can't be you can't be coffee and Spurrito though, right? Those don't seem like those would go well together before y'all poo poo the coffee I will pitch to you their other breakfast drink, which is just

Orange juice and mountain dew mixed together. Oh, that's right What better way to start your day honestly, so y'all jokingly set the bomb That just gave me That gave me heart palpitations to hear you say it Oh boy, howdy, but also I need that drink. Yeah, this is my problem I like if you're going if you're going through Taco Bell Or I guess this applies to any store, but it's definitely definitely true to Taco Bell You've already made the decision in your head that it's worth trading your dollars

For your refreshments like that's a some cost at that point that money's gone But it's not because it was free, right? Yeah Now you do run the risk if you go back through by the time you go back through the system's up again Now we can charge you. Yeah Run that back. So yeah, that is good. Good theory. Also just consider the fact that that money you've budgeted You Can now go towards like that super expensive coffee shop you've been wondering about but you're like I don't want to spend that much on coffee. Now the burrito fund has some rollover bucks

And we can take it there and see what it's talking about see what this turmeric pistachio milk latte is all about I hand me while you're there. I mean, me take some wire cutters Uh, send me a few lines systems down there too. Oh, oops, daisy. Oh, no. Oh god I guess I'll take this coffee to go and they're like, well, we can still accept cash and you know, like it's 2022 And you just walk out the door with your free coffee. Welcome to my pit for ocean sports Are we to assume that the system broke down as like between the time that you ordered And the time you got to the window. Yeah, they wouldn't have taken the order. Yeah, that's what that's good fortune I think you need to just roll. I I re I'm I'm taking it back

You shouldn't go back through this Taco Bell. You should never go back to this Taco Bell Like you're this is your moment you won. You need to get out while the getting's good This is the one time where you're up, right? The house always wins when you go to Taco Bell, right? But this time you won it's time to walk away. You're up one over talk about never go back Because one time what's gonna happen is you're gonna pay they're gonna hand you back. Oh the bag's empty. You're gonna get fucked Right. No, man. That's so true. Yeah You'll be like I did not order this I or like when you get the trade when when you get something you didn't order and like you're up

If you got something better, but you're down if you got something worse like I like those cinnabon bites I like a good, you know Taco Bell cinnabon bites. It's crispy. Oh, yeah You know and it definitely has to be I have to be have the heart for it because when you bite into it and you don't have the heart for you realize What it is and you feel sad, but when when all the stars align and you can eat that It's great and one time I ordered it and I got the cinnamon twists Which I knew were cheap because my buddy my best friend worked at a Taco Bell and I would And this is when I was like 18. So, you know, I was pulling up and I was like, um, what can I get for free?

And he always said it was like the cinnamon twist because we just make the like we don't make it to order We just make a whole bunch so we can we give them for free Just as a treat a magical moment. Just a magical moment at Taco Bell. You're giving away so much information Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, oh, you're gonna put the bell out of business. How do you capitalize on this? You just go to the window and you're like, hey, listen, I want cinnamon twists and I ain't gonna pay for You do with that which that will Do you think do you guys do that thing or you'll get your order and then you pull up a little bit and you stop And you go through the bag to make sure it's all in there. Do you think like the employee ever watches you do that from the window?

And they're like, fuck man, you don't trust me. Probably I can still see you here at my house. You just checked the order come on probably but also one time Not one time a couple times now there has not been a toy inside of heavy wheels that has Full blown five arm house fires Uh, so that's the worst me fool me once or twice. No way is how yeah We'll see you gotta you just gotta be like me and be a turbo nerd and be like, oh, no, no They didn't forget the toy. Here's a super saiyan five goku statue they put in here Put it on the shelf so we can look at it, but they did

This is a 12 inch, uh Sculpting statue that they put in your bag. Enjoy it. Enjoy it. Yeah, that's a replica That's a replica kill bill sword. It's all yours, buddy. Have fun That's a notoriously right there. Be careful. I took my I took my three-year-old through burger king Yesterday and the toy was I kid you not pictures of dolphins And I handed it to her and she looked at me like I had just kicked her in her Like how fucking dare you? Sorry. What is it again dad pictures of dolphins? Wow, that's so cool

I wish everybody had an electronic device that could instantly pull up high resolution video of dolphins a way we do But thank you for these great Cherishable pictures of dolphins The half like most of the time now when I get a children's story for my child in a bag It's like something that then I the parent have to build And I think this is completely defeating the purpose of having something to distract my daughter so that I can have five Peaceful moments to myself while she's staring at me going fish building that jackal or whatever it is You keep going to the to McDonald's when they have the gun pluck giveaways

came down Like dad, can you build this hg? Gundam freeman, please Of course. Yeah And a well a well ventilated area Yeah, no, I I I feel the same way whenever it's a whack toy I'm like I failed you but also i'm like you failed yourself because I did research as a kid I remember you would look and you'd be like, oh great. Okay. Lion King's coming out. They got the simba toys

This is what i'm asking dad for McDonald's. Okay. They got they got whenever it was like, oh Here's this like slightly not cool. So I was like, oh we can eat it. We got McDonald's at home dad. It's fine Recently bb on a Saturday saw that they had encanto toys so we went on sunday and missed the window Like it was a toy change over and I said, do you still have encanto like and they were like, no I got and I said I know and there was a long pause and then they're like, yeah, we don't have any and I wanted to be like I don't Listen, I I don't think they understood did not look guaranteed. They did not look my child is in the card Like can you tell ask them to look I'm like you got it

But do you remember when burger king sold golden pokemon cards? Inside a metal poke like you would roll up to burger king bill immediate kids meal And those have the golden pokeball pokemon cards that are right and they would be like no man That's five extra dollars and it's like you're a toy store now burger king. Nice try. Yeah Yeah, they did that on the red because they also did that Like I remember buying a nightmare before christmas watches. Oh, yeah I got the wild wild west sunglasses for burger king Ah

Oh boy, oh boy Oh, man, do you still have them? No because that same day we went to disneyland and me being an idiot kid War them on space mountain, which if you know what space mountain is there's no reason to wear sunglasses They're gone. It's it's indoors It's that you want to get rid of You don't want to carry them home You're doing you're doing some like the equivalent of money long You're looking like west jim west desperato on space

But instead it's just you reaching out towards nothing with a That's your parents like well, that's five fucking dollars. Why? I think you can do this Hey, is it possible to go please look on the floor of space mountain? I'm serious. Why am I kidding? Do you know how many cast members have been decapitated looking for sunglasses? If you can I ask what you did at disneyland I know that if you're one of I know if you're one of the princesses you have to say you're like ariel's friend

Yeah, yeah, that's that's the scale they do and you know I gotta say the magic dies the moment you walk backstage because the first thing I saw on my first day Of working at disneyland was mickey with his head off smoking a cigarette and I was like, well, there it is But I worked on honey. I shrunk the audience and astro orbiter eventually Nice. Oh I was once the uh, uh, no, well astro orbiter kind of suck honey. I shrunk the uh, sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't here for all you didn't design it. No, I had at you

Honey, I shrunk the audience I was the kid one time on that was on the giant B that got blue screen. I had to act like oh, no I'm on a giant B is like I did a really good job I like the cast never said that I did great Which I feel like If I had not done really well, they would have said good. You know, I mean, but it's yeah, right, right, right, right All right, but you nailed it back back when it used to be the mgm Uh studios instead of hollywood studios. I was in a live show and I don't want to brag

But I was waiting backstage to go on and do my bit or whatever and this is in uh, this is in the avert hitchcock Uh, no, that's a universal right. Yeah, well, that's another great one, but it doesn't exist anymore but this was like some kind of old-timey movie show and uh, Rather the one of the performers filled up pipes I was in whipped cream and then turned me into put your hands out and I cut my hands and they filled my hands with whipped cream And it was one of the like when people say like, hey, what's your favorite Disney memory? I'm like, well, there's one time when I was nine years old. I got to eat a handful just whipped cream It was the greatest experience I have ever had at disney because an adult was just like

I was like, hell yeah, dude So don't I would not complain at taco bell Yeah, yeah in closing Yeah, just take your free burrito and go yeah go with god. Uh, if he went out, what do you got going on? What you want to tell people about? Oh, man, uh, you know, definitely play apex legends right for that game Watch grand crew. We got uh, you know, depending on when you hear this They got two episodes left after the olympics and that that's enough information for you to figure it out Uh, because we're we're I think we got one more week of the winter olympics

Use hulu. It's on hulu all of it like always and uh, yeah, follow me on twitter instagram See what i'm up to i'm streaming on twitch You can watch me yell at games because i'm bad Okay, well, thanks ify. Yeah appreciate you coming by anytime call my line if you want to weigh everybody If you want to weigh thank you so much for joining our program You're welcome And now please excuse yourself by hanging up the real phone That you are holding

Okay, but i'll be waiting in this room still Okay, fair enough. Bye Thank you so much for joining us that is going to do it. You're welcome travis you dumbass What god, I thought was it talking to you Well, how am I supposed to know that justin we got lots of great stuff available for you to purchase if you get me mackleroy

Go to mackleroymerge.com We got uh, 20 rendezvous fancy takes flight pins designed by the illustrious Hespin hind That you can see more of lux's work at the link on the website. They're very cute We've got the i'm not ashamed of my clown husband A bumper sticker which is just in the light And this is by jacob bailey and then we got uh, sobons pin of the month a bunch of other stuff The guppies want me blank sharks fear me sticker, you know

Lots of great stuff that pen of the month by the way benefits the national black women's justice institute So make sure you check that out. Um Thank you to montane for the use of our our theme song. My life is better with you It's a groovy track With a beat you can really bump ass to Yeah, okay. Yeah, uh, that's just how did you see montane's doing a show with tom hardy? Yes. Do you see that? Um, we got a virtual live show coming up. Yeah. Yeah, february 26th 9 p.m. Eastern time tickets are just 10 dollars They're on sale now

Uh video on demand of that is going to be available two weeks after the show Go get your tickets now bit.ly slash mb mb am virtual It's just gonna be a real good time Great oldies Uh, we're gonna have fun We're gonna have we're gonna learn a little bit. We're gonna laugh a little bit. We're gonna love a lot So come join us bit.ly slash mb mb am virtual Um, I think that's it. Yeah. Yeah

Uh, I also I stream on twitch, you know, I haven't mentioned that in a while twitch.tv slash the travis macroi I've been playing a lot of fortnite. I'm not gonna lie and I just got like I just got a stream deck that lets me play Like I've got buttons on it. Yeah, I love it a lot And also if you don't want to care about any of that I also have a little camera picture in picture of my fish tank you can stare at so there's that Hey, uh, this final yahoo was sent in by ribs Ribs is their name It's fucking weird because like that's the those that's just bones and then telling someone to be quiet

Like it doesn't seem like much of a name doesn't it? It could be food. It could be like i'm eating I'm gonna eat some ribs. What are you reading the question? I gotta wrap up griff. Yeah, okay. Well, okay ribs Asks or did they send it in I lost track says Anyone else feeling What's cooking in the kitchen Griffin yeah Just read the fucking question that what the question was it says mm-hmm Is anyone smelling mm-hmm? What's cooking in the kitchen?

When is just the macroi i'm travis macroi is been my brother my brother me kiss your dad square on the lips It's better with you Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported