My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 598: Chocolate that Helps You Fudge

Episode Date: February 21, 2022

Have we got a bodacious show for you, full of verisimilitude and similar ephemera. Don’t mind our loquaciousness, we’re trying to be more quixotic.Suggested talking points: I’m Rutherford B. Hay...es, In the Boston-verse, Your Bruno Nest, Electronic Tricks, Razzle BeretNational Black Women’s Justice Institute: https://www.nbwji.org/ Huntington Children's Museum: https://hcmkids.org/

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up you cool, baby? Precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better with you
Starting point is 00:00:54 It's better it's better with you It's better it's better with you Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me the advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy, and I am Travis the smooth I And this is Griffin McElroy the sweet baby brother, but that's not important What is important is happy birthday to all the presidents. Oh Happy birthday to all of the presidents who all got together and said wouldn't it kick total ass if we all had
Starting point is 00:01:42 The same birthday and we called it president's day, and we just ripped shit up and Ourselves a good time because it's a time to put partisan politics aside and Rip shit up a rip shit with partisan politics Yeah, there it goes the only political parties I want to hear about are the ones with beer and babes and we got a big pile of living Presidents to fucking rock out with their cocks out All of them great no notes Yep, well, no, there's lots of real dookie shit heads in there, but I mean
Starting point is 00:02:21 We're out. We're out here They know how to party unlike any other person on earth because they've know they've had the nuclear codes and so they They've partied with the aliens at club 51. They've got it. Oh, baby Who's all still alive weird for Abe Lincoln when they gave him the nuclear codes, and he's like what the fuck are these for? What am I supposed to do with this? You'll find out But they told George Washington. Here's the football and he's like what is football does that even mean it's contest I don't understand any of the words in this. I'm gonna be honest. I'm confused by the case. It's in is this metal. What the fuck? Anyway, metal wasn't in bed. Well, they definitely weren't making briefcases out of it
Starting point is 00:03:05 If metal was invented yet wise he gots with teeth. Thank you. He could have metal chompers like jaws. That's a little Presidential trivia. It's from you know what it is at that point Justin metal teeth were unprecedented You know what's funny about the president? Hey Justin. What the fuck? unprecedented Cuz he was a president you didn't have to stop the Justin just went right over it. Okay. There's two different kinds of bits in this world There's the ones that you drive by and wave at though There's the ones where you park and you have a little picnic outside of them, but that was not a picnic joke
Starting point is 00:03:40 That was you didn't even he didn't even huff out it or nothing But if I stop and park the car at your joke, yeah, it's gonna make people think that you don't have those all the time But with your rapidity, you know what I mean? Yeah quantity the quantity of quantity and quality and quantity I Mean they're all good baseline, you know, yeah, yeah, this fucking Wikipedia article with all the presidents and it doesn't tell me which ones have Biffed it which one guess who is best and who is unbef and it sucks cuz I like want to talk about this I want to talk about this stuff. I know Ronald Reagan famously best
Starting point is 00:04:21 Can I tell you the one that always gets me Jimmy Carter Jimmy Carter unbef Unbroken battling hookworms building houses beating ass beating ass Wormass, you know the good thing about you know this thing that I like about the US presidents Yeah, no notes I Know it's El Presidente you're getting it done. I would say me and maybe you know They're birds shared communal birthdays, not the best-dated sort of past judgment Yeah, but I would say a couple of them have been real stinkers Oh, there are other thing about is that they're all from Ohio
Starting point is 00:05:01 That's we heard this. Yeah, you guys heard this. Oh Cincinnati Joe Joe is one of the greatest traveling presidents. Oh, okay Yeah, we have a president of the rails and then the home president and there's one president that gets out there and gets it done It's like, you know how baseball teams have like home uniforms and away uniforms We have a home president and away president better way president never gets talked about enough these guys I'd like to I wish they would get away. Oh, well Justin. It's their birthday. It's their birthday, dude And was that a threat? Oh, it's they'd get away from me and my family and my guns
Starting point is 00:05:38 Wait, are they near your family? What president is near your family? Stay out of my business, you know citizen some of this fucked up guys. I'm still looking at this Wikipedia article we've had like a group of presidents and Most of them are most of them are dead. Yeah, so it's like a stick Lee. Yeah, maybe this is the most dangerous I know cops is always out there saying like our job's the most dangerous Looking at the stats I think it might be presidents because we've had almost 50 of them and like 45 of them best a long time ago Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Some of them
Starting point is 00:06:14 Pretty like quickly. I was like in office. Yeah, I'm just saying that's eerie, right? What are the odds? Oh embarrassing? Yeah, I'm finally president I'd like to be president someday, but yeah, but my birthday is not that day So like you are you have been in Ohio for quite a while. That is true. That is true I do appreciate it. Thank you for that photo conference. You guys saying I would make well That's the only vote you'd get for me. Oh, what the fuck? You're my brother. You're my blood Justin I would be such a good president brother. Don't you think that I would be a good like first brother black sheep like? Oh, yeah, that's the one that makes beer or gross peanuts or whatever these guys are doing
Starting point is 00:06:58 Hey, how dare you assume that if any one of us became president? I wouldn't be the black sheep Even if I was president they'd be like he's also the black sheep brother. Thank you very much. I have purple hair Justin I'm edgy Okay, fucking Jughead. I'm edgy one. I'm a weirdo. I'm a weirdo. Don't you see that my hair is not a natural human color It's not a normal color. This isn't a color. I was born without the womb Justin. I chose this. I'm a guy who makes choices I'm edgy anyway Happy birthday everyone. I do think it is fucked up that this holiday did start off as a celebration of George Washington's birthday Which is February 22nd, but then at some point people were like, this is
Starting point is 00:07:42 You sorry George You got to share it. You got to share it with everyone today. What are we doing this year? Why don't we sell I'm not gonna lie this fucking sucks Missed it by a day this year. We're almost on top of it again, Georgie boy. I'm so sorry Birthday William McKinley. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm McKinley as president That's pretty good. Yeah, I do a pretty kick-ass Grover. I do an okay Elmo. I do an okay brother furby haze Can we hear it? Yeah, I'm brother furby haze
Starting point is 00:08:20 Yeah, I'm a cool. I'm the president that um hold on Hold on. Let me go just a moment, please. Oh, oh, I didn't do Let me see No, how'd we do just looking over this? Critics to ride his leniency toward the former Confederate states that is withdrawal of federal support for African Americans voting in civil rights Okay, never mind up a big shit. I'm a real piece of shit. I'm a real dick. Anyway, happy birthday to me Can we start this show now? We already did bud. Yeah, this is that your whole right there for be haze bit is in there
Starting point is 00:09:02 Yeah, I wanted I this is not a bit. I just I saw this earlier this morning on Facebook And I thank you for clarifying that this isn't a bit just this isn't a bit I don't have like a whole bunch of funny things to say about it I'm not like I literally just wanted to tell you to and if the listener listening audience Enjoys it. That's that's their business. It's not it's not mine I just want to share with you guys I saw the most West Virginia. Well one of the most like West Virginia headlines On Facebook today breaking 13 news has learned that the current and former owners of the Charleston town center and the city of
Starting point is 00:09:36 Charleston are being sued by the developer of the future hotel in the old Sears building. Oh boy It's just that's that's us There maybe that's everybody doing everybody in the future hotel of the old Sears building. Yeah, buddy. I love it I wish it was a futuristic hotel. I was just thinking the same thing Justin. I Move back just a big cube. Yeah, I love that. I May I permission to speak from the heart fellas. Yeah, sure So last week I did a riddle me piss. Yeah, and Some folks made me cognizant of the fact that I had
Starting point is 00:10:17 Used that in the past 511 yeah, so 511 that's not even that long. It's not that long ago. I was flabbergasted to find that out And honestly, it made me moist and I don't want to off you skate the point. Oh, no I'm feeling you can't actually in actually substitute in actually Intracellate before you Listen, honestly, I'm feeling very perspicacious right now Is there a way to mute him I bring you I bring you this corduroy and the zubal yet, and I hope that you accept this ephemera
Starting point is 00:10:56 As my sincere globular And and listen, I'm spackled over here, you know what I mean? And I hope that you all can witter shins me That we can you know move past this can we just as long as we are lifting the fucking riddle me piss Jersey up to the Raptors, which is what we're not. Oh, we're not. Oh, no, no, no You actually I locked it I super glued it to the fucking ceiling So as long as we've got those sort of I just shut it down with a crossbow. Hell. Yeah falling as long as we got the Rig out that we use for lifting jerseys up to the rafters. Can we go ahead and just hook?
Starting point is 00:11:36 Sad libs up on there, too. Oh my god. That was a sad lives. I didn't even notice Griffin. Oh, wow You know, I guess it just it comes so naturally, you know It sucks as we actually have a real announcement Which is that in our sad sack state last week crying about smart list beating our asses up and down the street We didn't talk very much about our live show that we have coming up This week. Yeah. Yeah, it's this week You can get tickets at bit.ly slash mabin band virtual is February 26 and tickets are 10 bucks a pop And we'll have a video on demand for two weeks after so come out and do and join us
Starting point is 00:12:11 We haven't done this in a couple months. And it's a fun. It's a very fun time Ask anybody has been the one this Griffin didn't very good sales job. So he really biffed it I he biffed it. I want to say that these things are always wild. They're always fun. The more people that are there You feel the energy in the crowd. It gets trending people are tweeting about what they're seeing Yeah, we'll have a lot of great surprises that tribes been working on and what I'm Fuck I gotta go guys. I'm gonna do a fucking backflip. I'm not doing any no characters There won't be any Richard stink. So that if that's a plus for you You got that to look forward to oh, you know what I could do
Starting point is 00:12:51 I could do with musical guests and have the video clips play Yeah, I like that Is the please come please please Amanda got mad at us because we didn't talk about it last week when there were only two weeks to push it And we fucked it up so bad and we feel really guilty. So if you go buy a ticket or two, that would be badass anyway So this is a this is an advice show. I mean, I don't know how to say it. Yeah, there it is You know what I mean? This is an advice show. Let's lay all our cards on the table. What does it say?
Starting point is 00:13:30 It's an advice show across all the cards Jin begin When you're ready, I Not just an in your own time just if you would do your slate that please announce who you are on what pieces you'll be doing Hi My name is Justin McRoy. I'll be doing a Please don't say you'll be doing it that makes it sound a little bit perverted if you could use a different It makes it sound like you're gonna try and have sex. I'll be I'll be humping this question
Starting point is 00:14:03 That's a little bit worse, but not so I work at a fancy legal office and I have to commute by bus Just say Boston legal we get it. We know where you work with Denny Crane Why do I know that? There's so much shit you don't know Travis Because the other day I was talking about how Boston legal and Boston public are in the same Boston verse But Boston common is not and that makes you really mad. Sorry. Go on I Fairly new and not used to the eight to five grind yet
Starting point is 00:14:44 So I find myself staying up far too late to be waking up at 645 every day Mm-hmm, and then getting to work exhausted now I haven't finished this question, but so far there's a pretty good. Yeah answer for this Yeah, I have an hour lunch break and really want to take a nap Yes, would it be inappropriate to stack boxes in my cubicle to hide in and get some sleep? I worry that someone might see me in there, but I'm just so tired right now I decay if I can make it through the day Please help us from pooped in Portland now. Listen as Justin pointed out
Starting point is 00:15:18 Obviously, obviously we could say go to bed earlier, but that's not one like that's not fun and also like When you read when you reach a certain age No amount of sleep is enough to get you through the day, right? Yeah Like you could sleep you could go to sleep right after you got up and you'd be tired And it's also completely arbitrary because you'll also have days where you sleep for five hours and you wake up and you feel Incredible and then you'll have days where you sleep nine hours and you feel like some sort of corpse person Because the weird thing is your body has these weird cycles, but you don't fucking know when they are and you're in no control of it And it's like oh you woke up in the middle one. I'm like, okay. Well, who's fault is that?
Starting point is 00:15:59 This is why this is why so many people have endorsed polyphasic sleep. Yeah, where you'll chunk it You get some 90 minutes polyphasic sleep is my favorite thing to talk about and never do Yep, so you do like sleep for 90 minutes and then you're up. Who's that creep around the house at 430? Well, it's Justin. Who's that taking a nap at 11 30 during the morning meeting. That's Justin That's 90 minutes and he's up for a while polyphasic sleep now. I'm of two minds in the actual question here I want you guys to gut check where you're at. I don't think there's anything wrong with taking a nap on your lunch break That's your time. I think the problem is location location location, right? Yeah, right? I think you need to find within any office or warehouse or I don't care where it is
Starting point is 00:16:45 There is a location that somebody knows about That's like the comfy spot where everyone sneaks away to nap. Well, I wouldn't want to nap I wouldn't want to nap in the spot where everyone goes to nap, you know, like I that's not necessarily something I want to share with my peers. That's fair. I At the same time, I feel like if somebody is ever like, you know Reorganizing the office and they move a file cabinet and then there's like a fucking Shawshank redemption hole in the wall with like some some pillows and Newspapers in there you they would that is no good man. If somebody's no good now
Starting point is 00:17:26 You're not gonna nest your Bruno nests has been discovered. You can't stay in there. No nest. Yeah It's inappropriate. I but I think if you just go to sleep on your fucking desk head down And if anybody walks in and it's like, hey, wake up leave that job. Oh, you know what we haven't done this in a while What would a sign help? Oh Oh Seeping seeping because that's the problem right they come by they see you laying down They're like, oh shirking their duties But if you have a sign that's like this is my lunch break. This is how I choose to use it Derek
Starting point is 00:17:57 Yeah, right like what are they gonna do? Yeah, I ate so fast Derek and I have to sleep I eat while I type out my reports so that I can have a snooze arena and it says all of this There's like eight pieces. It's a daisy wheel printer Just like yeah, all lined up and Derek's still reading it by the time you wake up that was my shit I would eat lunch while I had like library duty during like third period in middle school And then when lunchtime came around I could keep hanging out in the library. Yeah, that's a sad story Anyway, hey, do you guys want to approach the wizard? Whatever you do. Yes, don't nap in the break room. Well, no
Starting point is 00:18:46 No, what? Yes, don't don't nap get out of here You're up to okay You're having trouble going to sleep on time so you can't yet it hurts to wake up at 645 you take a nap You're continuing that terrible cycle break it. All right tired and then go to bed at night. No Yes, mr. Polyphasic sleep who then turns around says, you know what though? Hey forget everything. I said don't nap No, don't nap. Oh Justin polyphasic sleep is just growing up nap time. No, I don't endorse polyphasic sleep It's just it sounded like you did
Starting point is 00:19:19 Go to bed at a normal time If you see Jimmy Fallon, you've gone too far. Yeah, that's it gonna be a normal day wake up in normal time Just be So just just go to sleep at a normal time up nap in your day away Oh my god, if the digital clock has four numbers on it You need to be on love napping and it drives me fucking love napping They'll be at my home having a family visit and they're like well That's the cuckoo clock on the wall says it's time for me to get my jammies and have a little nap nap
Starting point is 00:19:48 Yeah, it's like come on, but you're together. We're having fun. Stop fucking napping But you're willfully refusing to do it so that you can be unhappy for the rest of the day No, you do it one time and I one time and then you're on a good schedule I think it's pretty fucked up whenever we're like partying and then you're like we need to eat We haven't eaten in 14 hours because you won't stop partying and I'm like rude much Right trying to fulfill your body's needs while I'm trying to party with you I also when we're all hanging out as a family and you're like well 7 30 p.m. Time for Betty by and I'm like what? Justin's talking about Justin's favorite game to play when we're all hanging out as family is he waits until somebody is on their phone
Starting point is 00:20:28 And then get gets to gets this really slam them for it like yeah, we're only together really I think that's what gives That's because you guys are addicted to your devices. You're just constantly. Well. I'm just talking to my real friends and the babes Yeah, okay Yeah, okay, so you're going to Do a wizard of the cloud. I think we should definitely do that. Okay? All right, so this one is a sent in by a lot of people so thank you to everybody for your contributions It's like they built a human staircase leading up to the wizards The wizard would love that you pupe it pupe. Yep. What's the pulp? No, pupe it
Starting point is 00:21:07 That's where he turns into a boot or fly So this is how to prank in school school gets boring sometimes so if you want to liven up a few pranks who could blame you Thank you someone who catches you doing well No, even that man. Okay, the question is given and we haven't gotten into I'm sure we will but when it comes to you Will they blame you are they lovable pranks or are they like? Oh, that's interesting Well, they they run the gamut trap Using your school supplies is a fun way to get started or you could just prank friends with food tricks or electronic tricks Tronic tricks. That's great. That's like Mysterio
Starting point is 00:21:42 Whenever and on our drones involved Whenever anonymous is in the news again like oh shit, they leaked all the Pentagon shit. I'll be like what an electronic trick That's a great electronic trick. They oh, no someone stole my identity and took all my bitcoins. What a brutal electronic trick bunch of stinkers I'll turn it away from with blockchain. It would be really difficult for someone to steal Yeah, damn, you're right. Have that's a good enough reason for me to put all my money into cyber coin Just like a bond said to do Yeah, Super Bowl using school supplies replace correcting fluid with lip tint There's some fucked up. Yeah, white out with oh
Starting point is 00:22:23 Lip tint I guess lips markers lip smackers thoroughly clean out a bottle of correcting fluid then snip off the brush glue in an old Lip tint applicator and pour lip tint into the bottle when your friend tries to borrow it. They'll be really confused I mean that seems like a lot of work for a little payoff Mmm, or a better payoff would be like while your friends looking pull out the white out and apply it to your lips Like your friends like what the fuck are you doing? That's way better than your friend like okay? I guess this isn't white out the best part about that electronic trick is that It definitely is worse for the friend who sees you put white out on your mouth Then you the person who just put almost certainly extremely poisonous white out on your mouth
Starting point is 00:23:09 That's funny. No, I'm gonna go to the trouble of cleaning out the bottle to put your lip tint in there Yeah, use it as lip tint. Anyway make edible school supplies from sugar paste to confuse your friends Yeah, man, and then you start chowing down on your eraser or paper clips and your friends won't know what's happening And they won't be your friends anymore. Probably not once they find out that you have been Cooking pencils. I I've seen a lot guys I've seen a lot of these types of suggestions in like trim trim vids and why kids are obsessed trim trim, you know They're like Eastern European pals and they make videos about how to like sneak candy into school
Starting point is 00:23:48 Yeah, or one where you have to sneak a superhero into a movie theater and yeah exactly like why would only eat orange things all that you know Okay, my kids just watch a lot of educational stuff So, oh yeah, this is educational because if you want to sneak, you know, candy buttons in you can make a jacket Decorate with candy buttons. Yeah teacher won't know that you could be you could be teaching your kids about cost-benefit Analysis to realize that that's a stupid thing to do But go on no cause of it They know that the cost of the sacks in the movie theater is ridiculous so high So they got a far more beforehand and they make a little like a beret out of
Starting point is 00:24:26 Razzles We'll never come back this is a drive-by joke Yeah, we use clear nail polish to make a pencil useless paint the tip of a pencil with clear nail polish on your friend Barra when they try to use it. It won't right. That's perfect. I like that one. That's a good cell phone, too a good what? Self-own I thought you said cell phone. I thought that too. I also thought that me if you use it if you pencil If you had a pencil and you started talking to it like it was a cell phone
Starting point is 00:25:01 That's funny. Come on or you could have a paint clear nail polish all over your friend's cell phone. That's cool Oh, that's good, too Touch me then they try to put their finger to it and it won't work Yeah, or they put it to their face to make a phone call and then they immediately huff it and pass out I put clear nail polish on your nails Your friends like my nails look healthy. Yeah, I gotcha. Yeah, what if you put clear nail polish on your friends nails? And they're like, oh, thank you I'm at hot glue to your sharpener before letting someone borrow it
Starting point is 00:25:30 Do peep do work done with pencils and sharpeners and yeah Right add hot glue to your tablet that is school supplied or whatever these days probably I remember those like you just have to like crank. They'd be on the wall. Oh, yeah Yeah, I had to crank I loved that. Yeah. Oh with pencils. Yes Manual pencil sharpeners. That's what we had to deal with. I had a sharpened piece of obsidian that I would use And my teacher be like where the fuck did you get that and I'd be like back off Back off. I got it for minecraft Time to take out your test. Oh shit, hold up. I gotta go minecraft myself a pen
Starting point is 00:26:15 What I dig dig down deep for the flint and make myself a pencil for my shit a creeper. No Don't say that. We don't say that about the janitor. He's cubie and green. Yeah He's made of cues. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah now give them up for the grace of God goes out a hug I don't I don't really Wasn't made of cubes in green. I wouldn't do that. You're exploding janner. I hate that noise. He's making I'm not doing it Make a crayon eraser for a pencil This one if you kill the janitor you get feathers and it's worth it. That is worth it and creepers drop down powder
Starting point is 00:26:53 Not feathered, but it's okay. What are you? What create a retracting pen with a spring Isn't that why that's an inventive? Yeah, you get those wonderful toys That's a great prank because your friend will then be like, hey, your pen's broken and you'll be like, I know I broke it So confuse your teacher. This is a step two pulling pranks in the classroom have mechanical pencils. Let's just do it. Yeah Yeah, fuck it. Oh, no, let's rid the bandage off. Why did someone invent a pencil led destroyer because that's all they are They don't write they just break and then you put more out they break again. They made that shit so thin It's so pointless It is good for pretending like you're giving yourself like, I don't know an injection or something. Yeah
Starting point is 00:27:38 That's a good prank, but you got to make sure you push the stopper down or it fucking hurts We're getting into the good stuff now confuse your teacher by changing their wallpaper to a screenshot So that when they try to click the icons, it doesn't work, but I'm sorry if you get caught doing anything on your teacher's Laptop. Oh, yeah, yeah going to your jigger going down. You're done. You're going downtown Ink your sleeping friend if they fall asleep in the library or class dip their fingers in an ink pad or makeup Uh, you can also use a highlighter then tickle their nose with a feather or tissue when they go to scratch their nose They'll get ink on their face When I just put ink on their face if you want to help them get it off try a little hand sanitizer
Starting point is 00:28:18 That's a great point travis as long as you're You're cut out the middleman right of the finger and just put ink on your friend's fucking face Unless you're trying to convince that they got fingerprinted while they were asleep That's that would work is like, oh man, you've been gone for so long They took you downtown and then like in matrix. They just dropped you back off And I think that there's some kind of mechanical worm in your tummy. We gotta get it out Yeah, um use a coffee cup to spill water on your teacher. That's that one's gonna go for great That is good. There's a description here of how to create a prank cup
Starting point is 00:28:52 using cling wrap several layers of cling wrap and a rubber band and the more I read it the more um My brain Rebels against itself. Yeah, because it's a it's a feat of engineering that I do not think is possible. But I what do they suggest What I'm not going to read it. That's what I'm saying is why no, we don't want to endorse it Can I just say a lot of these sound like something Like middle school travis would do not because he was a creative prank genius, but because he had impulse control issues Um, not so much like pranks, but just more like, oh, why did you do that? I don't I don't know
Starting point is 00:29:25 Yeah, I don't think spilling water on your teacher is a great prank But I do love the little tip they've added at the end here Which is to keep your teacher in a good mood after pulling this prank have a towel and a real cup of coffee on hand for afterwards Sorry, Dolores. Here you go. Sorry here try yourself up. You look fucking ridiculous. I have access to coffee. So anyway, take this You take it two creams much sugar. Am I right? Yeah, how about a back row? Who's going to take a cup from you ever again when they see you do this when they see this This in feet of engineering that you have used to soak your teacher Who's going to be like just done an incredible prank you have undermined
Starting point is 00:30:03 Any trust that teacher had for you for the rest of the year You're gonna the next parent teacher conference your teacher's gonna be like, listen, they're getting straight A's because of course rule number one Keep your grades up. Bye They're like fucking Loki in here. Actually, you know, it's fucked up. It doesn't say anything about Oh, yeah, that's been guess what wiki house playing a prank on you Oh, that's right because they're gonna have a hard time expelling you when you're valedictorian. Yeah Cover your teacher's desk in candy This prank will actually make your teacher smile
Starting point is 00:30:31 You can't even use candy to make a picture or spell out something for your teacher. Fuck you, mr. Dennis But also enjoy these mentos, but it's mentos, baby Uh, fucking that's right. It is it is mentos in the picture in the picture. I wrote this one Oh, okay. Hey tape two Textbook pages together so your friend can't find them use double-sided tape to stick the front pages to a chapter to a page before your friend Will be able to find it when they open their book Which is fun because they could be like man, why are these two pages stuck together and be like I Got really excited while reading about trigonometry and busted one and I'm sorry for that
Starting point is 00:31:09 I apologize trigonometry just does it for me I know how big that triangle is and I guess mine gets my noodle going Put balloons everywhere Put them in hallways classrooms cafeterias you name it you can even fill a whole room with balloons People won't be able to move without running into balloons Hey everywhere everywhere. Hey, um jammy my son You seem so tired and I have a lot of my plate mom I don't understand the pressure it started simple
Starting point is 00:31:40 It started simple. I put some clear narrow plush on a pencil I never was like you're the prank king jimmy and then I had to keep escalating and now I'm blowing up millions of balloons So I can what put him in the client the hallway everywhere mom. What have I done? We need to move I need to move schools mom. I promise. I'm not angry. I just need to know I have a $2,500 charge from party city on the credit card It's out of control mom. Okay, mom I pranked myself mom. It's okay. The ultimate prank was on jimmy. You pranked your future. You pranked your way out of that big scholarship Oh, no, this one kicks ass bring watermelons to school Hell yeah, Gallagher got him this prank doesn't sound that crazy
Starting point is 00:32:23 But try to get a lot of people to bring at least two watermelons to school then have them leave them all over the school Your school will be covered in watermelons Now this assumes that you're of an age to purchase your own watermelons, right because This is this prank carries the much more difficult step of Convince your parents. You need to take two watermelons to school. Yeah. Well home act Yeah, okay, but play that out Griffin Like mom. I need to bring two watermelons to school for home economics. What are you guys doing in class? What are you using them for chubby twins?
Starting point is 00:32:56 Chubby twin. Oh, this is we're taking care of babies and I got taking care of two Extremely heavy babies at the same time teacher once their teachers are very specific lesson about responsibility Yeah, and all we have to provide the watermelons their work They're in cahoots with gym teacher who wants us to get fucking yolked So we gotta carry these two big watermelons around well, then what do I pay taxes for shouldn't the school provide the watermelons young jimmy Try that's I mean, we know the state of things Oh, that's a good point, right? If you bring that up to your parents like mom I I just know that when miss doris asked she was in tears because she was like, I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:33:32 We can't provide the melons that makes me so sad. Uh wrap your principles car and plastic wrap whatever whatever whatever Use toilet paper to cover the front of your school for a classic prank. Yeah, that's awesome. What that's a lot of toilet paper Yeah, well this one get your friends to help you cover the football field in plastic forks Um, the most trouble I ever saw anyone get in at my high school was a group of kids who forked the football field And they forked it fucking good Uh, and like they had to miss like the team had to miss a practice that day Oh, the worst thing that could happen That's the worst thing that could happen at a high school not the 15 person fight I saw on the first day of my freshman year
Starting point is 00:34:12 Well, that's how you I mean how'd you count that fast? What how could you even count that? Well, five of them were teachers who waited in and then I think got caught up in the moment Yeah, everybody knows that if you get the opportunity to pop a kid. It's like a dream Uh, so then the prince showed up and said, uh noble blood Breaks to new mutiny and he separated the houses. It was awesome Hey, um, here's just one quick question in the community q&a. Could I go into the bathroom and go on my phone and call 911? Oh, um
Starting point is 00:34:44 Oh Could you you could Yeah, I do a lot of things way better go in the bathroom and then call your teacher from the bathroom And say like I'm the principal and you're you fired and oh that's put on a laden and let him watch a laden That's awesome. Hey, do you still have that copy of jumanji in spanish? Just put that on anyways I'm the principal and I gotta go fart in a cup and smell it That's all time that's all time you could do like a mission impossible diarrhea poison and put that in the Put that in the principal's cup
Starting point is 00:35:22 And then when he's like, oh, I gotta go i'm so sick you go into the principal's office I was just gonna smell my farts, but then it turned into that real yeah, and then you get on the secret Like mike he has that gets on the pa and you're like everybody. It's me principal stink and I said we're growing up when we did where The only way you understand the product x lax As a magical chocolate that makes people poop. Yeah, do you know how many times we saw x lax growing up as kids being stuck into teachers mugs and Yeah, baby sitters. Yeah, uh sandwiches. Yeah instantly made them just like poop their brains out forever Is that not how it works?
Starting point is 00:35:58 I never saw anyone in incredible gastrointestinal distress because of like horrific constipation And then they take x lax and then they're like, oh, thank goodness. I'm glad I took that x lax intentionally Fantastic, I think that there was there was ever like a like important business meaning at x lax hq where they're like Do we need to get out in front of this? Yeah, we need to we need to start like a public health campaign, right? We're just like listen I know what you all think right x lax is the diarrhea medicine, but that's not true We have a lot there's a lot of benefits more specifically is the chocolate that makes you shift forever. Yeah, right?
Starting point is 00:36:33 It's there needs to be like a tide pod make good campaign Where the tide got in trouble because they made the most delicious looking Candy shaped objects ever and then had to come out and be like it's not it isn't candy I know we're having a lot of fun here, but you could die and just have x lax get out there and be like look I know we even made it chocolate the most delicious thing we get it But uh, it's uh, please no more jokes. This is serious diarrhea medicine. It's serious Stop I just got home from school and when I told them what you did for a living they all laughed. It's not funny My job helps people. I'm like a doctor. It's extremely serious
Starting point is 00:37:14 I make the dookie medicine that helps people who can't dookie. I make the chocolate that helps you fudge Anyway, I've been trying to pitch that as a new slogan, but so far This has not been our brightest hour That's pretty sad consider we're we're only 35 minutes in oh no, okay. Well, let's go to the money zone. That's usually a good palette cleanser Oh All right, let's shake it off. Let's get back in the jimmy's out Again, listen, we've had a lot of wiggles now it's time to focus up We're back into it and it's time to deliver the goods
Starting point is 00:38:02 Justin take it. Don't think about it. Just go take the rock. Okay A lot of people use Squarespace these days and they want to use it to make a great website. I personally Justin McElroy Have been using Squarespace for the past couple weeks to build a website for my wife Sydney Who is running for the house of delegates here in west virginia? And I built her website with the help of a trusted friend mainly to tell me if the things looked bad
Starting point is 00:38:29 But I've been he built it and I've been editing editing it. Well now trust it. I'm sorry, but the story keeps changing Yes, I feel like there is a shifting the point is I could have done it So that's where I got myself into trouble is once I started fooling around with it. I should have been intimidated It's easy to do. You can adjust the things you make a great look at website So just be clear the fault is not with Squarespace. It is what just done And in our stars, yes, and I've built Squarespace websites before I guess I just had the yips because I wanted it to be really good Yeah, I mean I wanted to look great, but I should have trusted that Squarespace templates would make everything look fantastic
Starting point is 00:39:09 That is what they do So I asked Michael from from uh drunks of dragons like help me Help me to build it. Yeah, and he did you need a moment. I could have done it on my own, but I appreciate Do you understand? Yeah, sure. Sure. Sure. Like you could have done it, but you got scared Yeah, don't get me got scared. Don't get me wrong in the ad copy. It does want us to talk about how easy it is Isn't that you could do it yourself? I could have I should have trusted that is what I'm saying, but at the same time I really appreciate Michael's help Yeah, so just be clear. They offered 24 seven support, but not 24 seven emotional support
Starting point is 00:39:45 Thank you, which is what Justin needed. They don't tell you that the magic was inside you Right, so Justin could have used Squarespace, but he second-guessed himself and that's why he's here now to tell you don't make his mistakes Right, you be better than Justin use Squarespace yourself, right? This is your chance to prove that you're a better person than Justin Make your own partner a website to run for western union house of delegates Got a macro for wv.com and you'll see this website bill in Squarespace. You'll be like this professional Yeah, I made an equally important website to celebrate my dog called buttercup is a very good girl.com You can go to that one. I use Squarespace to do that too. They're eat their websites with equal importance
Starting point is 00:40:24 Anyway, go to squarespace.com slash my brother for free trial And when you're ready to launch use the offer code my brother to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain Hey, I want to talk about door dash. Yes Are you afraid? Like Justin is of doing the wrong thing then let door dash do it for you I mean from now on all of my ad reads are going to be about Justin being afraid Because I think that fears a powerful motivational tool, but I don't want to make it about our listeners being afraid That's so many use it about Justin
Starting point is 00:40:58 Sometimes Justin's afraid that he'll forget things at the store And then he's like, what am I going to do now? Oh, whatever one finds out that I forgot the snacks and the drinks and the household essentials Oh god, they're all going to be so mad at me. Well, good news, Justin You can use door dash and they can have household essentials drinks and snacks delivered in as little as 30 minutes right to your door And Justin don't be afraid about not being able to connect with the restaurants you love door dash They can connect you with the restaurants you love. So fear no more Justin and Justin Justin
Starting point is 00:41:29 No fear right live free die hard Now you can get the grocery essentials you need with door dash too like drinks snacks household items Everything you need not to be afraid like a night light or a comfy blanket Or if you need some like relaxing tea and like a cozy mystery that doesn't have any blood or violence in It good news doesn't knife No Well, is that for just in the wheeled or the door dash deliverer to bring? Uh, I don't know that we should say that door dash deliverers bring a huge knife to your door when they come to drop off
Starting point is 00:42:01 Well, if they do they won't wield it. They won't have it in their hand. Yeah, I mean that would be ridiculous Yeah, would it be in a bag of sorts? Um, so uh for a limited time our listeners can get 25 off and zero delivery fees on their first order of $15 or more When you download the door dash app and enter code mb mb am That's 25 off up to $10 value and zero delivery fees on your first order When you download the door dash app in the app store and enter code mb mb am one more time Don't forget that's code mb mb am for 25 percent off your first order with door dash Subjects change terms apply door dash live without fear. Don't be like Justin
Starting point is 00:42:39 Wow, that's what they wrote. It's what they wrote. Yeah, it feels Doesn't it feel a little targeted? I mean it could be any judge. It could be Justin Thoreau They could be tying that Justin Thoreau. Yeah, so don't worry about it, man Hi, I'm Janet Varney and just like you I survived high school And we're not alone on my podcast the jv club I invite some of my friends to share the highs and lows of their teen years Like moments with aisha tyler, but when you're a kid the six are just pretty low go to school Try not to get in trouble get laid jamila jamil
Starting point is 00:43:18 I watched television probably every waking hour during that time and I was Faced on medicine and Dave Holmes. We talked and talked and then everybody laughed It was just us too and I was like, I love you Learn how you too can be a functioning adult after the drama and heartbreak of high school every week on the jv club with Janet Varney Find it on maximum fun or wherever you get your podcasts This is a judgment-free show We have wasted this world Our magic put a storm in the sky that has rendered the surface of our planet uninhabitable
Starting point is 00:43:53 But beneath the surface. Well, that's another story entirely In a city built leagues below the apocalypse survivors of the storm forged paths through a strange new world Some seek salvation for their homeland above Others seek to chart the vast undersea expanse outside the city's walls And others still seek what else Fortune and glory Dive into the ether seat the latest campaign from the adventure zone every other thursday on maximumfun.org or wherever you listen to podcasts
Starting point is 00:44:28 Hey, Justin speaking of Justin Thoreau Um, do you want to apologize for when we talked about smart list? Are you talking about how smart list had uh the the uh Prime minister of Canada on Justin Thoreau. I don't see any problem with that. Well, Justin Trudeau Is the prime minister Justin Thoreau is an actor who has been in many wonderful things. Nobody nobody at home caught that Traff Oh Several Several several people
Starting point is 00:44:58 Let's say a couple things one thing is It passes out comment from the two of you so you can cross it. Yeah. Yeah, if you hadn't realized the error you instantly would have I mean that would have been the rest of the episode. Yeah, absolutely. Jennifer Aniston's ex-husband A current husband ex-partner. Definitely. Well, I think she wants to get back together with Brad Pitt last I read I don't want to talk about this anymore. Okay, either There's some parks and rec. Oh, yeah, you're so good. Good turn on parks and rec a good turn They had it's not wild though. They had Kamala Harris. So it's like not wild. It's not wild
Starting point is 00:45:32 It's just that they're two individual human beings, right? Yeah. No, I know man. I know I get confused with Justin McRoyle if they had Richard Harris on and you were like they had the vice president of the country on It's just a half their name is a different name It's a different name of Kamala. Thoreau and Trudeau is very simple. I mean, yeah, you could rhyme it in a poem. Absolutely Hey, let's do let's do another question. Maybe Yeah, sure Travis, I cannot believe you put this next one in. What? I love listening to your show. However, sometimes you fellows use large
Starting point is 00:46:09 Are unique words that I have to look up because I don't know the meaning irony I always tell myself I'm going to remember those cool words and use them when I can. However Um, I after I close my dictionary, I almost immediately forget those words and then fail to use them Brothers, how can I get a cool vocabulary like you? Yeah, um, that's from vocabulary vexed in Vermont Yeah, sometimes, you know, you you know, we're trying to do the show and you feel that tracheolence And you're like, oh, I don't remember and those words can be such a femora You can't actually do that twice per episode. It's illegal. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to be personic You guys are right. I mean
Starting point is 00:46:47 What I my recommendation would be to get a job where you have to talk about everything All the time Yeah And then eventually you get you start to hate the way that you say it and you think there must be a new way of saying these things Because I hate the way I do it. Yeah, and that's so you inspire yourself to get some some new vocabulary Um, you know, you look for opportunities to use in your day-to-day life You don't even have to know what it means. That's the beauty of it. If you say it with confidence
Starting point is 00:47:16 We live in an ever-shifting Linguist society now And so sometimes you can just say a word with confidence and someone could be like, I don't think it means that You're like, um, it does now actually because somebody used it on tiktok and they can't disprove that. It's amazing Oh to be alive in the world today. Oh Nothing means anything anywhere You should change your life to use the word So like if you learn a if you learn a new word like
Starting point is 00:47:46 Can't even think of any word juice think of any word pal. Come on. You can do it. I used so many early in the episode Come on Verisimilitude From downtown I thought it was versus similitude Verisimilitude. No, that's when you fight militude There Then you should do things that where verisimilitude would be part of the
Starting point is 00:48:12 You know, like you should I know it because richard donner used it when he was talking about the superman movie So like if you're making a really hero, he's verisimilitude like truth to be like I wanted to seek out verisimilitude in the superman movies a movie about a man who flies backward around the planet um It's just it's it's here travis. Okay. You're gonna feel like a real horses pituit when I send you my this is my twitter banner Okay I'm not on i'm never on twitter since lack. Okay. Oh, okay
Starting point is 00:48:46 Oh, I see. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's superman the holding a banner. It says verisimilitude. Yeah, okay, great It's so i'm saying like find a time in a place in the world where that concept would be important and shift your life to meet your vocabulary You know what I mean? Yeah, but sometimes also big words are like fucking overrated because like there's a word polkratutinous means like very beautiful I'm like beauty and shit. That's an ugly sounding word. It's a gross word Sounds super gross. Just say bodacious way better Way better. I think we could you're not gonna say like check out that polkratutinous ass Right, you're not gonna say that but I also wouldn't say check out that bodacious. Who would I be saying that to you wouldn't say
Starting point is 00:49:24 You wouldn't say check out that bodacious a but who would I be saying that to travis in my life? Well, your son when he's older griffin Yeah, I forgot It's so important to build your kids up like wait Hold on. Sorry I was saying you would say it to have a bonding moment with your son about a bodacious ass Yeah, like we saw we saw a baby target. Yeah, and you want to talk about that bodacious ass Now, but that's what you're saying is like he's ready for his first like homecoming dance and you're like sniffling
Starting point is 00:49:55 I'm just so proud of you. Look at that bodacious ass and he's like dad. Don't come on. You're gonna get me crying If I could say bodacious ass You get it from me son. I know dad. I love you. I love you so much dad I love your bodacious ass too dad. I know that bodacious ass is the way you say I love you Because you were raised in a different generation. You're wildly uncomfortable and every time you call him in my bodacious ass Because you love me bodacious ass son bodacious ass to you too daddy Interesting Yes
Starting point is 00:50:39 What a munch squad Okay Little Caesars Not batman related Is a pizza restaurant where you can get things at a drive-thru And you drive up and you say give me a pizza, please Can I also just say real quick little caesars a great example of a restaurant where I have no idea where we're at culturally as to Have they turned to their shit around? Is it still viewed?
Starting point is 00:51:04 It was the cheap pizza because you get to right and that's what we had at church all the time It was all I fucking love little caesars, but have they turned it around? I'll see because dominoes this is interesting See that was my my supposition right when I would get pizza hut or Dominoes I would think oh, I'm really treating myself now because I'm naughty or god forbid like a backyard pizza Oh my god, who has the money? Who's got the money in this economy? I thought let the common folk have Little caesars, but then I tried it recently. It's been a debt. Maybe a decade
Starting point is 00:51:39 Great yeah great quality food. I really enjoy one of the best sausages in the game, frankly One of a great sausage. Oh, yeah, not like you're gonna get over at monnie's pizza. No, no, no you get that That kind of crumbled. No, no, no, that's the Circle into squares. Love it. Oh, come on. Oh forget about it. You throw some barbecue chips on there You're Narrowcasting to the people on this show. Yeah to each other Sometimes I forget there's other people listening. Yeah, yeah little caesars unveils a new superhero offering The batman it is batman
Starting point is 00:52:17 Yeah, that's my my that's why you did the batman theme. Yeah, but the batman calzoni I saw a sign for this at the little caesars across from fantastic sands Over near the car. Yeah, I know that one and I was like I had to I literally stopped my car to take a picture with my phone Because I was like what it just said Batman calzoni 799. Now, can I just say That one does not look like a calzone two. It's not a calzone. You idiot. It's calzoni It looks more like moth man than batman Okay, well like maybe next time you make a half calzone half pizza. You'll make it look more like batman
Starting point is 00:52:52 I'm just saying that is not the shape Yeah, either the batman or his symbol. No, that looks like the bat symbol It does not look like the bat symbol the bat symbol is much more oblong This is a pizza that someone fucked up. This is okay. So I can't just talk about it. Yeah, sure It's the batman calzoni The bat signal has been spotted in detroit, but not the way you'd expect Um, this is from mlive.com, which is a michigan news source. I think The bat signal has been spotted in detroit, but not in the way you'd expect
Starting point is 00:53:28 Comes courtesy of little caesars, which unveiled a super new food item on monday introducing the batman calzoni It's a bat shape product. It's not one second The bat shape product is a buttery tasting calzone crust filled with garlic white sauce cheese and julienne pepperoni Combined with a pepperoni pizza and served with a side of crazy sauce I'm staring at this and the picture you have sent us just them The pepperoni are arranged in such a way that it feels like a magic eye poster
Starting point is 00:54:06 And I'm like Transfixed by it and I'm trying to find like it, but they're perfect. They are geometrically sort of a lot Yeah, I think they knew they were going to take a picture of this one. So they made it look good Okay, because it's also really shiny and red It's $7.99 And it says it's going to be available for a limited time starting on monday Now normally that would stress me out But in this case, I think that's probably good because I would hate to go into little caesars four years from now
Starting point is 00:54:33 And I'm like, why do you guys have Something called a batman calzoni. They'd have to look at me dead in the eye and be like, I absolutely have no idea Well, you just always had a batman calzoni. So we just always what about superman ice cream and basket robins That's different. That's different. It's different. It's different. It's so much more sense Anyone can now bring superhero vibes to pizza night by trying the new batman calzoni said jeff cline chief marketing officer at little caesars It's the most delicious part of our partnership with the upcoming film the batman. What are the other delicious parts? What's the least delicious part? What else you got? Yeah, what's the least probably all the try the batman sweat soda
Starting point is 00:55:11 That tastes just like the inside of his cowl after a hard night's material. It's fucking gross But patents and insisted Try the riddler press freeze The the only question you'll have is why did I get this? The batman which will feature the cape crusader uncovering corruption and Gotham city that connects to his own family While facing a serial killer known as the riddle I've heard of this what A serial killer known as the riddler
Starting point is 00:55:42 Will be released on march 4th. What's happening with this crime wave? There's a serial killer named the riddler Did we name him that or did he name himself unclear? Do you guys think if you get killed by the rid if you live in Gotham city? Yeah, and then you're there's like an explosion and you're like, oh, shit It's a batman level crime that's happening and then the riddler comes out and kills you you're like Fucking fuck, but the riddles guy is killing me couldn't even be like the penguin or somebody That's gotta be a really stressful thing about
Starting point is 00:56:17 Being batman is when you are fighting the riddler. You're like, please don't let me die fighting. Yeah, I can't be like this, right? Please kill batman who finally killed batman who got him a bane? Oh, okay That actually makes sense. I thought you were gonna say the riddler and I was gonna be like, what do you do riddling? To death. Yeah, he riddled in with bullets and he laughed the whole time, but then we were like, that's not Anything that's not how the name I'm so excited that I get to watch uh, paul dano fight Uh, uh, robert patterns my my dear friend robert patterns and Who went who will win that fight? I have an answer me I'm just glad that we're finally finally bringing the batman to the big screen
Starting point is 00:56:59 Yeah, let his story be told. How did he get where he is? What's his whole deal? Does he have some sort of butler man who helps him? I don't know these things Are his parents cool? Are they cool? What do they do? Right, does he connect with other human beings in an easy way? Right, is he cool in social situations? Is he at all haunted by some sort of dark past? I don't know What's his financials like? Yeah, where's he at? Is he you're barely getting behind? Finding this free time. He's gonna fight some villains, but also gotta pay the bills I don't know. I don't know now it is worth noting that um
Starting point is 00:57:37 We're having a lot of fun here, but of course any permutation of batman that comes up like Maybe in like podcasts or whatever is like is great. We're just more batman more batman stories the better out there Thank you. Yeah, we do love that But here's the thing audio batman That's where it's at man. That's what let me picture my own batman And he's got oh, he's got long curly blonde hair. Hey guys. What's your perfect batman? This calzoni does look like a menstrual pad though, and I don't know What they were thinking when they did it
Starting point is 00:58:10 It's not wings It's I saw guys. I think I've can I tell you something I had had a pause earlier I'm sure Rachel edited it out, but I had to pause earlier because I had a wave of nausea And I think that was caused by the incredible hunger that I feel looking at this incredible calzoni This makes you hungry. I want nothing more than to eat that. I would ravish. I find can I tell you speakable? I find the symmetry of the pepperoni very off-putting Why because I know it's fantastic. I know a human being touch this a lot Yeah, that's a good point. This isn't somebody threw down a scattering of pepperonis
Starting point is 00:58:46 This is this this this took somebody several minutes A human being individually touched each of these ronies. Yeah What on earth why on earth do you assume that the calzoni that you would buy at the Little Caesars for $7.99 available without pre-order monday through friday from 4 to 8 p.m What on earth makes you think it would look anything like this? No, I know that Justin, but I can believe that that is a naturally occurring batman calzoni Or I look at this and I say this is a man made This is a man god. I'm so hungry for this calzoni. I think that means it's time to stop the show
Starting point is 00:59:20 Yeah, yeah, it's calzoni time. Thanks so much for listening to our podcast uh Oh boy, we're to start let's start by again We fucked up last week by not telling you all about this great virtual live show we have coming up on the 26th Amanda'll be so mad. It's uh, it's nobody's bought tickets to it. We kind of messed up It might be an eastern time you can get tickets at bit.ly slash mbm virtual It's friday. It's this friday. It's this friday. So come on out this saturday this saturday So come have a good time this saturday with us
Starting point is 00:59:53 It's the it's it's weekend fun time with your hey, but listen Can you just sound a little like it you're selling people on taking in more of you? Can you just sound like you're not completely miserable? I mean I got like you're excited to do it. Yeah, I mean I got some personal stuff Going on, but I guess if you need me to amp up the volume a little bit. If you could turn it up and turn it on and turn it loose Yeah, sure What's up sickos? This saturday baby bit.ly slash mbm virtual you fucking freaks
Starting point is 01:00:25 Yep, there it is Oh, that's great, but uh our dad wrote a kid's book. It's called goalie's guide to grandchilding and if you go to L i n k t r dot e e that's link tree with a dot before the two e's slash goalies guide g o l d i e s guide You could see some Events that he's doing to promote that Book and you can go pre-order the book and you should do it is going to be so cute And our dad wrote a book and we're really proud of him. So go get his book and go to his book events
Starting point is 01:01:04 I love you dad. Just when you thought just when you thought the best had passed We went and saved the best for last Because we are doing it the 20 rendezvous fancy takes flight tour Tickets on sale this friday february 25th at noon local time big dot l y slash macroi tours for ticket links and more info And listen, yes mask and proof of full vaccination or negative covid test within 72 hours of event are required One more time you got to wear a mask And you got to show proof of full vaccination or negative covid test within 72 hours of the event But we're coming to your city. Maybe we're coming live in our own flesh. Yeah, we'll be there real this time beautiful human flesh
Starting point is 01:01:51 I will be there threatened it a few times but now we're serious time for real I will I do need to say I will have a sort of proxy Homunculus But it will look just like Griffin Except what under his skin to stay Christian Except it can't pronounce case. Yeah, so that that's the only sort of problem with it But other than that, it's just like it's just like and he's about six inches tall. Really? Well, he's bigger Yeah, yeah, and a little more mostly
Starting point is 01:02:21 Oh, he's better than Griffin in every way except he can't pronounce the letter k other than that though one more time Tickets on sale tell him to think c and just say a hard do a hard c and or or like a ch if that helps His mouth doesn't just can't he won't do it. Yeah, we'll get there Um tickets on sale this friday february 25th at noon local time bit.ly slash macri tours So you're gonna do that and do the live show and get dad's book and go to macri merge.com. We got a new besties tiebreaker coin featuring new york giraffe the one and only So that is that macri merge.com. We got the pin of the month We got the 20 ronnie vue pins and we've got the i'm not ashamed of my clown husband sticker. It's all
Starting point is 01:03:06 There go fly you fools go be free. Thanks to montane for these for a theme song. My life is better with you It's a track that bumps in the night. Yeah bumps and humps and jumps and the lumps okay And I think that's the end of the show. I'm on twitch Yeah, okay, and Travis will just say that I'm on twit. That's our new wrap up. Where does that stop? Where does that stop? I wonder oh, it sounds like twitch.tv slash the Travis McRoy Right, right, but when will you have achieved enough twitch success that it doesn't become when I'm up there? Or with some of the greats like twitch johnson and twitch twitch jankins and twitch johnson
Starting point is 01:03:45 And I'm up in that echelon twitch and tear twitch and terry peters. Yeah when I'm up there I think that'll be the movie starting will Will smith twitch when I'm in that realm. Yeah, I think that's probably where I'll be able to take a year off I think so I can come back hot Griffin, I was thinking maybe you could try to like instead of the yahoos which I love maybe you could try to like Just tell like work. You could just like workshop a new closer. Oh, that's good until you find something a new bit Yeah, I feel like a new little mini bit. Can I like a sign? I think it's like undeniably griffin Can't be honest with everybody now
Starting point is 01:04:22 I've been making them up. What? My wife Sorry, that's not the button. Oh, yeah No, no, no, okay No You need to really practice this before you do it. Now here. Okay. You should label them. Can you label them? Just say it again, say it again I've been making them up.
Starting point is 01:04:49 This is a MB, MB, AM exclusive. I mean, it's not something we should joke about. I've been effectively lying. This whole time. Does your wife Rachel know? She's the one that put me up to it. Did he get quieter? That was a lesson.
Starting point is 01:05:17 I wasn't as big as the other ones. Yeah. Well, that'll be the bit for this week. Like, that's what we did this week. And it'll be different next week. You never know what you're going to get. There's no familiarity. Do you want me to send you a list of words
Starting point is 01:05:29 you can use to help apologize? I'd want nothing less. My name is Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. This has been my brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad's square on the lips. My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
Starting point is 01:05:51 it's better, it's better with you. It's better with you. My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with you. Is this true? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
Starting point is 01:06:11 ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, it's better with you. Artists owned. Audience supported.

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