My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 599: The Hand that Drinks You

Episode Date: February 28, 2022

Y’all, we’re comin’ in hot with a brand-new seriously original movie pitch. Get this. It takes place in a galaxy far, far away. And the hero has a last name that is something in the sky and a mo...de of transportation. And there’s a twist about his dad. Wait, this has been done already? More than once? Hm. We better check in with Guestpert Chris Gethard instead.Suggested talking points: Kerp Live in Walls, Prescription Sheets, Geosh Sunrunner, Lazy Day Drawers, Musical DoxxingNational Black Women’s Justice Institute: https://www.nbwji.org/ Huntington Children's Museum: https://hcmkids.org/

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better It's better it's better
Starting point is 00:01:00 It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to Saw Bones a marital Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me an advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. I'm your middle. It's probably Pregnant is pregnant. It is like that positive pregnant with triplets. I'm your middle. It's brother Travis the effervescent Macalony do you stop saying your last name and it's like that's our fucking brand dog No, but like that's how a flourish works like Peter the great wasn't like I'm Peter Great
Starting point is 00:01:52 I'm Griffin McElroy this the youngest of them and So glad so glad to be here. I just want to say I just want to take this opportunity. It's from a heart I just want to apologize to you too. I've been watching a lot of incanto lately Yeah, and it makes me realize how hard it must have been for you guys to grow up in my shadow Because I'm kind of like a mix of like both Louisa and Isabelle strong and perfect Exactly, and I'm it's making me realize now how much you guys must have felt like I don't like a Bruno or Maybe you know like even like a Mirabelle just completely no power I felt more like one of the dirty rats that lived in the walls that just like nobody gave a shit
Starting point is 00:02:33 I feel like I feel like Kirk Is the Bruno right like cuz we don't we don't talk about Kirk no no and Kirk live in the walls Walls little griffin the rat. Yeah Walls he'll tell you that but don't ask him Kirk kicked ass I did like kicking it with him because he was like way more loosey-goosey Than the than the rest of y'all. He's kind of the one of us that's pissed off about cancel culture You know what I mean like it's we curbs that vibe. Kirk gives up I do not really have crypto and he keeps calling it curbed. Oh
Starting point is 00:03:06 And then he moved out and he's he's high on the hog at this point he has a dinner plate and He like always has it on him and I'm like what's up and he's like Bitcoin and I'd say no and then he shows me that he did draw a dollar sign on it. Yeah, and there's And that there is bite marks all over that he put on that he put in there. That's Kirk But that's just another fictional brother was there a dad we've had so many fictional brothers Which is so cool whenever we post a picture of us with Any person who's not us and they're like, oh, there's Kirk
Starting point is 00:03:41 So I've just stopped taking pictures of people who aren't you too. Yeah, they confuse not even my children in a big way Especially if you do a photo of the two of us of two of us with one of them not in there But somebody else is there and they're like man Travis looks fucking Buck wild and it's like that's That's not him that's Travis doesn't look as strong and perfect as he usually does yeah exactly exactly He's not covered in donkeys and flowers like he normally is right cuz you're a fusion of the Well, I'm not saying I'm literally a fusion Griffin I'm like it's not like there was some kind of like transporter accident and it combined
Starting point is 00:04:18 Louisa and Isabella. I'm saying that I Represent the strength and perfection of both of them. Yeah, you guys are struggling to come out from under my beautiful perfect shadow Yeah, I have an unrelated announcement. Please. I have an announcement for all the listeners of this program all of them and the haters and the haters no just listeners I now know uh-huh That dr. Pepper. Yeah is making a berries and cream flavor. Oh I have this information. Okay. I have the information from you and you and you and you and you and you and you Okay, I got it. Yeah, they're making a I
Starting point is 00:05:05 Let that go that part of myself is in the past. Yeah, I am moving on to new projects much like Gordon Lightfoot stopped playing the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald because he didn't want to overshadow the rest of his great Tunes the rest of Gord's gold the launch of the admin Fitzgerald, which was the prequel. He wrote right and the model of the Nothing's ever going wrong with this bitch. Hey, wait Gordon. I don't think that's what we would say The lyrics that's not a cool terminology Gordo didn't make that one up Gordo. I think Further alienating our listeners, but no like Yep, I got it. You don't have to tweet it
Starting point is 00:05:51 But Justin or Facebook it or or signal it or gab Yes, you don't put it on parlor for me anymore. I got it. No more periscopes No, no no vines. I've got it run to all of it. I got it But Justin you can't shut down the pipeline that has served you so well like Sherlock Holmes never went to the bigger street or regulars and you're like, I get it. Somebody's murdered guys It's just it's just I can't I can't explain to you guys what it feels like I know we've addressed this topic for but now when corporations are gonna make Mondo money off of this and it's like, thank you Justin. Thank you for this great corporate give it
Starting point is 00:06:33 It's like you should have thought about that Yeah, before you accepted all that money from dr. Pepper to launch the berries and cream sound on Tiktok so that they could launch this judge It's all been building to this and now you're biting the hand that feeds you and yeah and drinks you Anyway, oh, you're just not gonna address. I'm not Say this I think that's that sounds like a kick-ass flavor. It sounds good. It sounds really good They need it in a diet though. I don't I dieted dr. Pepper is Zero would be ideal berries and cream zero. I'd never drink anything else. I get out of here
Starting point is 00:07:12 Now Justin, you said you do other things and I would like you to list some of them, please. Yeah Yeah, I get remember I used to do the doll thing. Yeah, that was like that. Yeah, okay. I got a I got a shorty award in 2008 for what for a tweeter, you know, I was the AP Regional AP award winner for my business writing and the regional AP awards I had a really good Facebook memory about that Back from 2008 that you posted on my Facebook wall link to your shorty award and you said something like eat my balls or something It was we both up for that I don't think we were both up for it
Starting point is 00:07:54 But I think I know word for how good a single tweet was it's so fun when you think about how different things Things were what is that 14 years ago that you won a shorty award And you were the type of person that went on your younger brother's Facebook wall and posted a Link to your shorty award and just said eat my balls Different time. I will say though in 2008 that could have been a reference to the hit meme About different characters eating your balls. Yeah, it definitely was that but still I don't think that changes the point that the odds Were a different time would you do that now Justin? Would you win an award for a tweet you wrote and then go on Griffin's Facebook page and
Starting point is 00:08:34 Post a link to that award and right now. I think you'd probably get like a scarf my ass Yeah, scar half my farts kind of deal. Yeah, it's half my farts harder edge Seems like much more of a commitment like if someone's gonna eat some balls Versa hoofed farts huffing farts could almost be a passive. Sorry. I found it This was from February 12th 2009 and Justin posted a link to a CNN article about the shorty awards, which Wow, it's pretty wild and he just put and he just wrote and his younger brother's wall on Facebook for everyone to see Suck on this Wow Suck on this CNN article that doesn't even load anymore
Starting point is 00:09:21 What's CNN I tell you to suck on that CNN article? I don't know man You've been rooting against me like I don't remember this. We've been working for Polygon or joystick at that point. It's I forget the timeline, but I did I guess that made me feel small Justin I just want to say there's a part of me Why didn't you post on my wall that I could suck on your shorty award? Was I not on the social media at this point was I not probably not you're too busy in college or something? I listen in 2009 Justin. I was 24. Yeah, you did go back there for a bit. Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:09:58 Oh wait, I did didn't I did yeah, you did. Oh you did. Yeah, I did go back to college for a while That might be true. God good times. Thanks everybody for strung down this memory lane with us Yeah, that's gonna do it for us this week folks. Oh, no, no, no, we're ahead of my show. We're gonna help people. Yeah, okay I'm gonna visit my sister next month and while I'm there. I use her guest room. Yeah one problem Her sheets suck. They feel like burlap. Would it be rude to gift her sheets for the guest bed or Any advice y'all could give thanks that's from sleepless in San Antonio Now listen it is it is Fine to give a host a gift so you could be like and I brought my own sheets now. Here's the thing
Starting point is 00:10:41 Unless your your sister is completely obtuse. It will be pretty obvious Yeah, pretty clear. I brought these sheets for me to sleep on go ahead and put them on now, please I'll wait It can't be a preference thing, right? I like I prefer burlap like nobody They've got to be sleeping on some Silky stuff and yeah, I don't think that I just don't think they care. Yeah, they're good It's a cow's bed. It's getting used to what maybe maybe once a month Probably never used. I mean, it's a very good chance that she doesn't know see this is why your communication is so important
Starting point is 00:11:21 You got to go in and just say hey, I I love you as a person your guest bed sheets are trash I mean, they're trash. That's one that's one option another option is you show up day one and you're like ghost costumes and Then you have her put on those and so she can feel it all over her body And then when you guys are done playing ghost costumes and scaring people around the neighborhood saying that you're a ghost She can be like, you know what I just had these on my body when I was pretending to be a ghost earlier And they suck they're terrible doesn't matter because there will be holes cut at them Problem has sold itself with a ghost costume Now hold on it depends where the holes are put because what two holes that's gonna stop you from using sheets
Starting point is 00:12:01 Come on mr. Money bags. I didn't realize that two holes was all it took before you stopped using sheets No, I like my child. Oh, so you're not using fitted sheets for those costumes Justin You'll look like a sack of testicles look like grimace Okay, that's here. That's a good point You look like a bruised up sack of testicles like grimace and maybe maybe you could help in this So you get the sheets and then you throw them in to the washing machine with some shoes Okay, and fabric softener and then you just run them. You know you run that shit. Maybe that could like Soften them up a little bit. So it's a little more pleasant for you
Starting point is 00:12:43 I'm just saying that like I if someone came to me if if one of my brothers the one that I loved the most Came to my house and said hey I think fabric softener works I assume it's acid that breaks down the bonds. Why don't they put it on before I have to be involved in it It doesn't actually soften it does not magic. I mean it it does it's softer So like why do I have to be involved in that? I thought it just reduced static. No, it makes it soft. Whoa, are you? Are you serious? What did you okay? When you when you put a sheet the dryer? What's that for? Well, I I use woolen balls in the dryer just I bet you do. What's that supposed to mean sir nasty dog?
Starting point is 00:13:30 Anyway, I'm an adult after work. That's proven. Go ahead Travis I'm just saying that if the brother that I love the most which now might be evident came to my house and said hey These sheets on your guestbed suck and I brought you other ones to put on there and I'll put them on myself I'd be like, okay. I don't care like it's my guest, but it really has zero impact on me And in fact if anything this is a net gain because you brought the sheets you put them on it costs me nothing You don't you don't even have to you don't even have to say against the sheet You don't have to say anything bad against the sheets. Hey Becky. I hate to be a pain But my doctor said I have perigabititis
Starting point is 00:14:09 Uh-huh have to use these I think I got special sheets that I'm gonna leave here. There's special sheets that I'll leave here I'm leaving them everywhere. I could possibly sleep but because of the perigabititis I have I have to use these prescription sheets. There's also a good chance You could just change out the sheets and like secret away the old sheets and your sister would never know never know If anything your sister might one day years from now Approach this to change the sheets on the guest bed and think are these the sheets I put on the guest bed I don't know. I don't mind
Starting point is 00:14:45 Unless unless your sister's just crazy about these shrek ass sheets. Oh, I love exfoliating my guests. Yeah Hey, can I approach the wizard? I wish you would Cool, we got a this one was sent in by so many people and it's it is how to make a Star Wars movie. Oh Well, oh, yeah Yeah, just for how just for fun You might like to toy around with making the next big episode in the Star Wars saga using your own home filming gear I would it won't be as spectacular as Hollywood's special effects But you assume but provided you focus on the fun of making a movie and use your creativity
Starting point is 00:15:24 You'll enjoy the experience and learn things in the process Awesome. It probably won't be the next big episode in the Star Wars saga So you did I feel like you opened with a pretty huge salvo there of like do you want to be Borge Lucas? And then you like immediately dipped out of that But I do like that they used they couched it though by saying it probably won't they weren't like this Definitely won't be the neck. They're like, hey listen. I'm a fucking no man. Yeah, maybe Listen, I'm gonna be afraid it probably won't Listen, we can do this ourselves. This can be a fun little little game that we play
Starting point is 00:16:02 So step one think up some characters. You can't do anything until you got a couple main characters You don't have to flesh it all out now Just have enough to build a story around a good guy and a bad guy Just make sure you have enough to start your plot now. Obviously we could also I mean if it's a next in the series We could use some of the ones who started there. This is Chewie's big movie. You know what I mean? Like that guy hasn't gotten enough to do right we start the problem is if you do that then you get in trouble with Lucas and Okay, so come up with new guys a new good guy a new bad guy, okay? Boy, I'll leave you right alone
Starting point is 00:16:36 spork No Spork magnificence the first name has to be normal, right? Oh, right. All right, Josh My Josh is great. Yeah, Josh G EOS Yeah, right. Yeah That's how they spell it on boba bean, which is the yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. This one's Josh Dawn Treader Josh, that's the now that's hitting me a little fantasy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about
Starting point is 00:17:10 It's got to be something celestial and then a mode of transport. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Josh Sun Truck Josh Sunrunner Sun Trucker Josh Sunrunner is cool. That's Pretty good way of making a cool mate Fine, it's John John Josh Sunrunner Well, then we can make if you want we can make the villain like John Sun Trucker and it's very confusing. They're always getting confused everywhere. They go Dr. Lucas made it easy on us for this one because first name is Darth and then the second word is just a nasty sounding word So Josh Sunrunner hates his dad Darth
Starting point is 00:17:52 It can't be his dad. That's taken Darth Darth Dark this is the bad guy. Yeah, dark. What's the good guy Josh Sunrunner? Josh Sunrunner versus Darth flippings Gotta be this city Darcy is Vader. You know what I mean? Like it's gotta be okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Darth scab Darth shit scab
Starting point is 00:18:17 Dar dar What can't be dar dar dar? Can't be dar dar dar dar dar dar dar dar dar dar dar dar dar dar dar dar dar sauce I See your forces as powerful as my dar dar dar. Wait. Is this another villain talking to Villains fighting to see who gets to be Josh Sunrunner's dad Your mother your mother loves me more. There you go, dad Yes, so this is to this is like we're combining Star Wars and daddy's home
Starting point is 00:19:01 Darth dar did under dar dar. No Please call me Dar dar dar. For sure. Darth Dar dar versus Darth S disappointed or something scar? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Scapeulous Darth scapicular stamp you FBI Hematoma and then Darth scabular Love is cool one to put in there because It's just a dark scabula. Okay, we can agree that dark scabula is the cool one, right?
Starting point is 00:19:26 Yeah, sure. It's not dark, dark, dark. We're rooting for dark scabula. Well, now, don't assume whom I'm rooting for, Justin. I'm rooting for the underdog. You got to keep the fuel under the fire, under the writer's room. And that's us right now, so let's keep it, let's keep it. Who's writing this down?
Starting point is 00:19:42 Step two, the wiki. Step two, couple the plot. And can we agree that Marissa Tomei is playing the mom? Can we just establish that now? Well, I'm not casting her right now. No, I'm just at this really tight. Oh, my God. Okay, but I can't picture it without her.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Okay, also, there's no moms in Star Wars only aunts. That's... Okay. And we can't make Marissa Tomei another aunt. That is true. You know what I mean? That is true. Okay, so come up with a plot.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Awesome. Start with the main idea, the main conflict of the movie. We got that. These two darts want to beat Josh's dad. Next, think of some things that could happen along the way. Okay, okay. They take him out for a drive in the pod racer. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:18 No, they take him to a pod race. But Darth Scabula bets on the pod races. Awesome. And that's good or bad. We don't like that. Well, it's kind of up to the, yeah. Oh, and through a series of misunderstandings, Darth Dardar is in the race.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Oh, that's funny. He shouldn't be. He shouldn't be. He was looking for the bathroom and he went in the wrong door and suddenly he's out there in the pod race. Okay, focus on a theme of your own. You might want to make it really original, like the Great Sith War or the New Republic.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Now, that's too big. That's too much, like that's too much lore for me. Yeah. I like this. I want to establish that this is a quiet time in this galaxy far, far away, right? Everything's pretty much, I'm not even going to say simmering at this point.
Starting point is 00:21:05 This is just like, everyone's like, well, I don't feel like doing anything right now. So the darts have some free time. Yeah, to fuck around. Okay, so step three. They're not fucking around. Griffin, they're looking for love. Right.
Starting point is 00:21:16 And all the wrong places. And this next step is going to really be in our wheelhouse because it's the literal next step in this WikiHow article. And it does say, make it funny. Oh, hell yeah. Humor will improve the amateur. Keep your grades up. Keep your grades up.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Make it funny. It'll improve the amateur moving, allowing for much forgiveness for the amateur setting and storyline. Add a few jokes and punchlines to your movie. It wouldn't be a good one without it. Make sure that you understand people's styles and make the humor fit each of them.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Here's an example scene they have. Rebel one and Rebel two are walking. Rebel one collapses. Rebel two calls for his commanding officer. Rebel two. Sir, my partner collapsed and is not breathing. What should I do? Commander, make sure he is dead.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Then tell me. Rebel two shoots Rebel one. Rebel two. Now what? Oh my god. That's a killing. Wow. That person's dead now.
Starting point is 00:22:03 Can I punch up that joke? Yeah. Rebel one collapses. Rebel two. I think he's dying. Rebel one. Nah, I'm just sleepy and I shit my pants. Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:15 Funny. That's funny to me too. You could also have Josh, Stargitter. Sunrunner. I forgot his name. Starrunner come up and like everybody's like, wow, fucked up. We just saw a murder on the screen.
Starting point is 00:22:29 But then Josh Sunrunner comes up and takes the laser out of him. And now he's okay again. Oh my god. Do you know what I mean? Because then that way you do get the really funny joke that they come up with but you don't have to feel guilty about it because you watch someone die. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:22:42 Because he took the laser out. Uh-huh. So that's cool. And you might be saying like that, but that's not an established Star Wars power. And to that I would say watch anything. Watch any Star Wars shit that's come out for the last 10 years, guys.
Starting point is 00:22:57 We're just having fun with it at this point. Yeah. Now, this does occur to me Griffin because we hadn't, this is probably knowing Star Wars came and something we should have decided early on. Yeah, sure. Is Josh a chosen one of some sort? That's the dumbest thing you've ever said on this show.
Starting point is 00:23:12 Yeah, of course, yeah. Of course, yeah. So Josh and also he can turn into a wolf. Part four. Hell yeah, dude. Produce a sprint. Like a force wolf? Yeah, of course it's a force wolf, Travis.
Starting point is 00:23:24 That's the second dumbest thing you've said. Wait, before we move on, what have we established so far? Josh Sunrunner is the, is a chosen, he is a chosen one. He's a chosen one. He is a chosen one. He is the nephew of. He's got it. There has to be so much like you got to have something set up
Starting point is 00:23:39 so that in episode like the third or fourth episode of the show, like fucking Greedo walks in and everyone's like, oh, and that's them nutting. Yeah, he's, he's Grogu's, he's Grogu's nephew. He's Grogu's, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want to, I don't want tied up with the Mandalorian verse. Like, yeah, it's got to be, even though Timothy Ola fancies in the Mandalorian verse, that's great.
Starting point is 00:24:02 I don't know why that changes the point. Like, well, he's going to come out at the end and sweep the mother aunt off her feet. Is he maybe related to Kit Fisto? Oh, yeah. We're porkins. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:16 Wedge Antilles, perhaps? Yeah, he's the Death Star's grandpa. Anyway, and then the Death Star shows up in the sky and everyone's like, oh, yeah, baby. I love that big shit. He's why he's half Java. He's half Java. All right, all right.
Starting point is 00:24:32 Griffin, you're an architect in the Star Wars universe, specifically. Yeah, I got my fingers all over the Java pulse. Produce a script. You'll need this for the actors. Oh, well, I didn't know that was part of writing a movie. Yeah, it starts to get less fun. Do you know how fucked up it is that Griffin's here doing this
Starting point is 00:24:46 and he did actually write it's part of the Star Wars extended universe? Yeah, that's why I'm so good at this part. OK, that makes perfect sense. Then just break off a couple of lines, Griffin, that feel inherently Star Wars. You know what I mean? Like from the script?
Starting point is 00:25:01 Yeah, like, what's something that? Because, listen, you can't just like, hey, how's it going, man? That's not what someone in Star Wars would say. Sure, sure, sure, sure. So, like, what's a Star Wars-y waiter? OK, so this is like episode, this is the pilot. Because I just decided it's on Disney Plus, this series. But yeah, and Josh told me, I was like, I just feel something
Starting point is 00:25:19 calling to he's got like a British accent, right? So he's like, yeah, I'll wait, how old is he? He's 31. I feel something calling to me from the stars. And if that game, let me finish. OK, I feel just something in there moving for me and I can feel the power grow. Is that fucking Greedo?
Starting point is 00:25:44 Now, wait, is that the sound of Josh nutting over seeing Greedo? It's turning into a wolf. It's he's. Oh, right. Of course, yeah, that happens when he nuts. Let's get some humor in there. He turns into a wolf when he nuts, like in Teen Wolf. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:56 And at this point, I think I've decided we shouldn't do the two dads thing. Oh, OK, I'm waiting. Which of the darts do you want to get rid of? Probably Dartadar, because that's not going to we can't make toys of them. Can it be an unrelated storyline that is happening offscreen that people keep waiting for it to intersect? People love doesn't even have to be B. I mean, it could be D extras.
Starting point is 00:26:19 Remember, Star Wars is full of extras. Got to find extras. Hey, guys, we're doing this kick ass movie about can I see the script? Well, we've got one line written so far. Yeah, and we've made some major cuts. But listen, we. OK, I know, I know, I get it.
Starting point is 00:26:37 The problems with only having one line. But if you're like being my movie and the one kick ass like that, I feel something calling to me from the stars. Is that Reno? Oh, well, I'm like, I'm like, you can sell that shit in the room. You don't have to give a script to the extras. They don't have lines. No way.
Starting point is 00:26:57 They just are going to react to Josh turning into a wolf. And that's what we're selling this series on. First. Oh, my God, this next part beats ass. All right, this is creating the backdrop and effects. OK, part one, make a set. You'll need at least one set to film against. Yeah, if you live near a city or in one, you could make it in Coruscant. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Huh. What? Where do you live? Cleveland, you can make Cleveland look like Coruscant. Easy, easy. One to one. Buildings, one to one. If you live in the woods, it would be a good idea to make the movie in Kashik or indoor indoor. Yes, obviously, obviously.
Starting point is 00:27:34 You didn't need if you live in Arizona, in parentheses, desert, you could make it on Tatooine. Awesome. If you're in the mountains, I want to create a new planet. Mountains can be hot. Big field can be Naboo. If you live near a swamp, make it Dagobah. Welcome. This is my planet, backyardia. I mean, it looks just like it's someone's backyard.
Starting point is 00:27:54 And these are the backyard against. Yeah. I have long been the mayor of Kroger parking lot. You've made this long journey, Sunrunner. And it looks like they're asking us to leave because we didn't acquire any permits. Let us move to mom's basement here. It's a stormtrooper. My name is Carl.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Get out of my fucking Kroger's. Get out of my car. Do you want to be in my movie? Yeah. This one. Of course. There's a lot of lines in this article that beat absolute ass. And this is another one. Step three, find suitable music.
Starting point is 00:28:33 You can play it on your guitar, but you can make it better by adding the real deal. Hell, yeah. Yes. Hell, yeah, dude. Yeah. Get some real jizz in there. Get some real space jizz in there would be so cool. But how much cooler would Star Wars have been if it was like down to the down, down, squirreling, and people will be like, well, that's isn't the real deal music because it's just a guitar.
Starting point is 00:28:56 But damn, that's good. But what if it was more like? Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Oh, that's good. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Do you think do you think that George went to John? Did John Williams do the Star Wars? He did, right?
Starting point is 00:29:11 He did some of it. He did some of it. And then he was like, so he and George was like, so we need a music for this scene in a bar and then John. That's a really good George Lucas. Thanks. And John Williams was like, OK. I think it'll be like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
Starting point is 00:29:26 And then George was like, no, I make it stupid. Like boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. I make it sound like a child's toy. Make it dumb, like dumb jazz. What? What did you call it, George? Dumb jazz? Did you mean to say jazz?
Starting point is 00:29:39 No, I meant jazz. He wasn't thinking of jazz when I said that. That's what they call it in space. George you're saying that they call music jizz and say yeah, I'm George Lucas I gotta go work on Howard the duck the only thing wilder than the moment that a person learns That George Lucas called the music jizz It's the music that George is the moment that George Lucas learns that semen is Yeah, that would be the only thing water that's it too. Is it too late to know?
Starting point is 00:30:10 What's that people only know about it if I talk about it in interviews? Well, I can't stop myself from talking about You've got jizz in your heart. You've got to let it out. What's a funny story? Isn't it get some actors Remember how Harrison Ford flew the Millennium Falcon in circles just to lose the Imperials in the asteroid field and the Empire Strikes Back Well spoilers. Well to get characters with good personality like solo you need actors with equally good personalities Why do you know Tom Holland's Tom Holland's? his brother Get Tom Holland get Marissa to me We're gonna get Robert Downey jr. Yeah, I get Cynthia in there and of course
Starting point is 00:30:51 What what would the film be with old Josh Sunrutter as Willem Dafoe we gotta have him We need gotta get well up this is the thing because not a lot of people wait now stop the show Griffin just said Josh Sunrutter as Willem Yeah, that's what it is The other way I think the sentence I said was what would the film be with Josh Sunrutter as Willem Dafoe as if like I was Pitching that to you. Yeah, you're pitching a parody of your own movie that you have. Yeah. Yeah. I love this The rest of this article kind of think it might go Now give me a job that long to foe might not normally have right I'm hearing sex therapist this the rest of this
Starting point is 00:31:37 Article is boring except for there's one last step. This is create the DVD Once you're satisfied send the movie to a menu making program like IDVD or others that work for you Make a cool menu design then burn your movie to the disc. This is your prototype If you're happy with your movie then burn some more sell them on the street or something maybe make a trailer If someone came up to you on the street is like, hey, do you want to see do you want to buy for $10 the Star Wars movie? I made The answer to that will never be no. It would yes I would actually rather do that than if someone how it says like I have a bootleg copy of a real Star Wars DVD
Starting point is 00:32:18 No, like ten bucks versus one I made. Yeah from scratch. Yeah, starring Willem Dafoe Yeah, as himself as Josh Sunrunner His last we just don't look at I'm changing the movie again because I do feel like I'm taking a sort of like directorial role at this point It feels like an executive producer to me, but yeah more money Well, so here's what I'm thinking is that you're cut you're constantly Sure, so listen, I'm happy just being there to shepherd what I consider now my baby
Starting point is 00:32:51 Well, yeah, but I as the writer I got my hands on the scissors. We can co-make it Traveling do you want to call your brother Charlie? We know Travis Russo. Yeah So like the Russo brothers. Yeah, and I can be like a powerful movie producer and there's honestly only I Can't think of too many of them and a lot of them are pretty bad. This is a shit. Yeah. Yeah, so let me just say that Kevin Feige Well, let me do say this No last name for the protagonists. He's just Josh. No Hey, hey Justin, can you join me over here in my trailer? Yeah, I'd love to yeah I'm willing to foe as Josh. We got we got it. I think we got a cut Griffin out. No, wait, we gotta give him a different name
Starting point is 00:33:34 We got to give who a different name Griffin. You can't just be Griffin. That's our brother. He's the producer of the movie Yeah, we got to cut him out. He's it needs a new character though So we're gonna give Griffin a character and then cut that character out of the movie No, no, I'm saying in the rich fiction we're developing Griffin. Can't just be Griffin. Okay, I Josh too. We got a cut Josh too Okay. Yeah, I agree. He's let's go back out of our trailer. Okay. Hey, do you want to handle it? What would you just drink? I'll take care of it Griffin Davidson as a new Justin come back over here. That's a really good. It's a really good. It's really good. Let me talk to Griffin
Starting point is 00:34:12 He would be like a hut like a like a crazy. Oh wait, just a step back over here. I don't like that I don't think I don't want I want Pete in the movie obviously, but not as a hood. That's it I'm striking out on my own. What it's a solo project now. No, they already made solo and directing This is this is my Body of evidence, this is my I'm gonna make my own then I'm making my own movie Okay, we'll run them next to each other simultaneously Hey, we need to take a quick break and then when we get we're gonna go to the money zone is what is gonna happen? I mean, that's what's happening
Starting point is 00:34:56 Oh, I see that might just sound like Babel to you, but I was actually speaking a foreign language and That's because I learned it on Babel This is not that is not a ringing endorsement for this actual advertiser. Yeah, unless you're speaking. Are you speaking Atlantean? It's an actual service because I can't say it's so edifying to learn another language It can make travel more fun. It could just keep the fucking neurons fire Yeah, I mean just like make you feel like you're making progress in your life Even though some other things might have run aground, you know If one of your other friends knows the language you can badmouth a third friend in front of their face and they'd never know
Starting point is 00:35:35 That's so fun Abel's 15 minute lessons make it the perfect way to learn a new language on the go choose from 14 different languages Including Spanish French Italian German Pig Latin plus just learn them all at once. That's what I did learn Not once Babel speech recognition technology helps you to improve your pronunciation Oh, yes, I studied English there right now when you purchase a three month Babel subscription You'll get an additional three months for free get out that's six months for the price of three. Just go to Babel Dot-com and use the promo code my brother. That's b a b b e l dot-com Code my brother Babel language for life. Hey Griffin. Yeah
Starting point is 00:36:24 It just seems like you're you got a lot on your mind. Mmm. Actually Yeah, yeah, I'm a pretty good day Okay, cuz you seem pretty stressed out. Yeah, no guys. I'm doing I'm doing great Well, why don't you take a moment? Just check in with yourself. Don't eat you. I'm awesome right now. Actually. Oh god He's really freaking out griffin. Have you considered in a tailspin maybe doing like calm to like clear your head and maybe try Some like guided daily meditations. You can improve your focus with calm's curated music tracks or drift off to sleep with calm's imaginative sleep stories for children and adults. Yeah. Oh, well, let me try it. Okay. Oh Yeah, I was fucked up. Yeah, I knew it
Starting point is 00:37:10 I was saying that I was actually good, but as it turns out I was pretty fucked up I knew it. Wow, you at home too can find out what Griffin has just found out Which is the the joy of calm by going to calm calm slash my brother You'll get a limited time offer of 40% off a calm premium subscription Which includes hundreds of hours of programming and new content is out at every week There's over a hundred million people using calm around the world So go check it out calm calm slash my brother and for listeners of the show calm is offering a special limited time promotion of 40% off of a calm premium subscription to calm calm
Starting point is 00:37:48 slash my brother so go to C a l m dot com Slash my brother for 40% off unlimited access to calm's entire library. That's calm calm slash my brother Um, hi, I'm looking for a movie. Oh, I got you. There's that new foreign film with the time travel There's an amazing documentary about queer history on streaming Have I told you about this classic word giant robots fight or there's that one that most critics hated But I thought was actually pretty good. Oh, I know the one with the huge car chase and then there's that scene where Wow, who are you eclectic movie experts? Well, I'm if you why do I I'm Dray Clark and I'm Alonso Derraldi
Starting point is 00:38:32 And together we host the movie podcast maximum film new episodes every week on maximum fun And you actually just walked into our recording booth. Oh weird. Sorry. I thought this was a video store You seem like a lady with a lot of problems Well Manolo we have a show to promote it's called back to a game show It's a family-friendly podcast where listeners submit games and we play them with callers from around the world No, that's good new episodes happen every other Wednesday on maximum fun It's a it's a fast and loose oasis of Absurd innocence and naivete
Starting point is 00:39:16 No, and just saying things from my memory and it's a nice break from reality Is that are we allowed to say that? I don't know it sounds bad. It comes with a 100% happiness Come for the games and stay for the chaos I Have to do my laundry at a laundromat and I often find that people will leave their clothes in the dryer Along after they're finished and I need that dryer. You don't mind where this is going You're gonna throw away their clothes. They're closing the garbage I don't want to just pull their laundry out and put mine in that seems rude and the laundry will get wrinkly
Starting point is 00:39:58 So I fold the clothes and put them on top of the dryer. I know that's weird, but is it too weird? No one has caught me yet Well, that's not a good follow-up Yet I have no idea what I would say if someone caught me I just don't want their clothes to get wrinkly, but I also need to use the dryer and I don't want to wait Do I need to stop doing this? That's from secretly folding laundry in San Antonio I'm fucking stumped man. I got I don't know what weird is anymore. I've lost all kind of like perspective
Starting point is 00:40:33 Yeah, oh, you know who could help Let me call Chris gathered real quick because he actually He's not gonna take your call. Well, let me see. Come on. He's so busy. I'm dialing Oh Sometimes it feels like you just dial with your heart. That was just me making noises with my mouth Okay, now I actually call him. You know, I got him on speed dial Also, it's way too many numbers. Where is he really fucking busy? Who is this? Oh, I told you hi Chris Chris gets a welcome to our phone call
Starting point is 00:41:23 We're having together a real phone call. Thank you for calling But do you know how much it cost me to get the custom number when you wish upon a star? Oh That was that was supposed to be Bob off black sheep boys my face red I think we may we may have just docks to you Chris gathered for our more musically inclined listeners Yeah, it's like a vanity plate, but phone number Once I was on TV for the first time I Demanded the phone company give me when you wish upon a star as my phone number. Yeah
Starting point is 00:41:54 Yeah, they did it because you're one of the Hollywood elite Big time. I'm known for it. Yeah, that you'd synonymous at this point when someone's like, you know, like a famous person like a like a Chris gethard. Yeah. Yes. Yes And then someone says who and they go he was on the office after Steve Carell left He played Dr. Gary Lamar shot NBC's blind spot show some respect I Blind spot isn't blacklist. No, that's it. Thank you Justin. That's really that's a helpful mnemonic device I used to keep blind spot separate in my mind
Starting point is 00:42:31 Yeah, my mother-in-law for every Sunday will be a quarter for dinner for Literally 18 months in a row. We say have you guys started watching the blacklist yet? I'm thinking about it man. It's worth it just for James Bader and every time the pitch is the same We had a laundromat question come up you had no way of Hearing it So I just wanted to sort of recap for you basically someone wants to use the dryer at the laundromat But there's clothes in it and they take them out and fold them and they want to know if that's okay
Starting point is 00:43:02 And I just want to get like your take on it sort of it, you know You're a real close horse and we know that like you're you're big into fashion and we wear supreme Stuff all the time and so we just figured you know your way around a laundromat. Well, I actually have pretty strong opinions on this Okay, all right cuz I lived I lived in Queens, New York for many years in a building that had shared laundry and way too few machines for way too many residents. Yeah, and You are absolutely allowed Well, there's like a certain set of social social graces you have to go through there's steps You have to go in you have to realize that the dryer is sitting there full of laundry you have to get kind of huffy about it
Starting point is 00:43:44 You have to look around You have to open the door of the dryer Then you have to look around again to see if anybody's coming shut the door Then you have to quietly simmer that someone has put you in this position Wait, wait, wait opening the door and shutting the door. Is that like a trap a distraction? What's the purpose? Performative is it to draw attention you open it because you realize you're being put in the bad position of having to touch someone else's clothes I'm gonna give them 10 more seconds to get down here and handle this and then you open it again But you give it that cursory open like I cannot believe another human being did not
Starting point is 00:44:21 Set a timer or pay attention to their timer on their phone or whatever they are putting you in a bad position and at that point if they haven't arrived you are allowed to Toss all of their clothes into one of those rolly racks and leave their clothes there and I've been on both ends of this I've tossed my fair share of clothes into rolly racks, and I'm not I'm not proud to say on one or two occasions I've come down to a laundry room and found my clothes in a dryer and I deserved it I deserve that and I know that I put that person through some mental duress, but never fold another person's clothes Thank you, I cereal. Yes
Starting point is 00:44:57 That's why I would rather walk up to someone at a nice steak restaurant And then reach down and pick up the steak off their plate and then set it back down Then interface with their clothes on such a deep and intimate level Intimate that's the word recondo that shit On on such a large scale. That's that makes me want to be sick and listen you could say listen Wonka make the argument that at that moment It's the cleanest the clothes could be and then you're sullying them
Starting point is 00:45:31 With you if I came in and also I like my shirts folded a particular. Yeah, they're gonna fold it wrong That's what I was gonna say They're gonna fold it wrong not the way the special way you like to do and I'll say you're gonna find out I left like a paper towel in my pocket and now there's scraps everywhere And you're gonna know that I lazily threw my jeans in there or whatever I get it You're gonna come across like a sweater that should have been laid flat to dry that I clearly didn't give two shits about yeah You're gonna judge me. That's my secret shame You're not supposed to know about that if I came upon a pile of my own clothes that had been folded by a
Starting point is 00:46:04 Nameless faceless stranger. I would have to throw those clothes away and I had to move out of that building Building because someone would have that on me forever. Yeah, right. There's such an invasion. I mean for starters What if your silky drawers are in there? Yeah, exactly your silky sexy drawers or worse? You're lazy day drawers. You're lazy day drawers like you don't want someone pawed all over your unimensionables. That's a no Problem and then you know, also, what if they do something weird like fold your underwear? Yeah, you don't like I would never fold my underwear in any scenario in my life ever Roll it. No, you want it up. You want it up and jam it in. There's no I'm a finite Person right my night life like I'm not gonna fold my underwear. No one will ever see it like you jam it in
Starting point is 00:46:58 Yeah, now Chris anything else Do you want it up and jam it in you want it up and jam it in you can say just jam it in say yourself a step now Chris when you lived in New York and you had this issue. Did you did you? Did you never just like go out to your window and put all the clothes on the clothesline that ran between your building and the building across from you? Watch the kids play stick ball Cat's having fights and trash cans and somebody yelling about a pizza or something while the gangs of New York did battle down on Yeah, that guy selling who shaved down some ice off the big block ice was clanging his old bell As they collected dead from the plague
Starting point is 00:47:40 Every once in a while, I'd do that sure Yeah, okay Like I would take advantage of that if I get like I don't want downy fresh clothes I want the smell of the city on me like at all times Mm-hmm, and then some detective sidekick a little put a pawn boy in a news boy cap He'd yell up at me. Hey, mr. Don't hang those clothes there. This is a this is a active investigation miss stuff, right? Like I saw something, but I ain't talking Yeah, and then they would come put the screws to you
Starting point is 00:48:08 I imagine and also it's good because when you put your clothes on on that clothesline if someone falls out of building They can land in your unmentionables and that's gonna help break the fall and be comical I have another problem on top of the dryer is the dirtiest place in my house. It's feel it's covered in lint Yeah, that's disgusting now. You just in linted their their garments. That's this hurry. That's the punishment though I would say to Chris's point from earlier if they wanted to avoid the inlintening then they should have been down there Before the timer ran out not after like if it's gonna take like 48 minutes or whatever You set your timer for 43 minutes to give yourself time to get down there and be poised and ready to remove your clothes as Like your hand should be on the handle when the buzzer goes Chris
Starting point is 00:48:50 I have a judgment call for you because you've had more experience in this less weird Folding someone else's clothes or taking their clothes and putting them back in the washer and when they come down just like you must begin again The cycle starts anew putting them back in the wash it's such a fuck you I Looked at them. They were still dirty. You had to go one more again What if you pulled them out and then you piece by piece hid them separately around the room and left a note like yes Your clothes are clean and dry, but it's up to you to find them. You have all the clues That would drive a person truly insane if a person came down to the laundry room in their building and was like I am
Starting point is 00:49:33 Positive I switched these from the washer to the dryer. Why are they back in the washer? That's like an Edgar Allen Poe level psychological torture We need a third device We need a third appliance and though in the clothes cleaning Process where you wash and then you dry and then we need like a proving Drawer where extra clothes can be stored so that someone else can get down on the on the well If we're trying to avoid maybe just put it in and it just bounces them around for a while, right? It's not really doing anything except they can't settle into wrinkles. Yeah, it's just keeping them vibrating
Starting point is 00:50:11 That's good a vibrator. We could just call it a vibrator. I just got a vibrator. I feel like wrinkles is a burden if you If you let it go longer than the dryer and you are not there to get your own dryer stuff out promptly I mean ideally before the buzzer goes off certainly within three to five minutes after it goes off if it goes past that window Wrinkles are your burden to bear. That's your penance to pay and you know that and that's part of the social contract of living in a City where you shared laundry rooms I If I was on an elevator in a building Unsure if one of the other people in their head at some point folded my clothes for me
Starting point is 00:50:51 Uh-huh. Yeah, I would have to be dead I would have to find a way to turn off my heart and my brain because I'd know I would I would I Would never be able to look anyone in the eye again a wrinkly clothes are and accept it Everyone knows that when you live in a society, there's certain actions that have consequences and not getting to the dryer promptly Means you might have wrinkly clothes. I'd much prefer wrinkly clothes on my own terms Then folded clothes on someone else's and I'll die on that hill Also that way when you walk around the building wearing wrinkly clothes or if you spot someone else doing you're like that's them I know that's the person who leaves the laundry in there. Now Chris. Let me let me ask you this because I'm dying to know
Starting point is 00:51:31 Would it be better or worse if the question asks Or had printed up some business cards with their face with a picture of them and their name on it And like their apartment number that said like listen, I don't want you to worry about this I did it. I folded your clothes and this is my schedule. Should you choose to avoid me for the rest of our like or it says on there like hey, I I'm trying to get into business for myself Only the first one's free though So if you would like this kind of attention to detail, you know, if you do our white glove service in folding laundry If you came down and they were tied up in some like like parchment paper with like
Starting point is 00:52:15 Like on a cruise ship when you get them and they all got the little tags and they're a basket Oh, I feel like that's gonna turn this from like weird to ooh, I've got like a fairy godmother. Yeah Oh, Chris, what's the what else you got going on? What's going on with you, bud? You want to just stick around and rap for a while? Yeah, what's going on? What's going on with me? I'm a dad now. I got a beard now everything Happens simultaneously happen. I mean They all tie into a midlife crisis. That's very clear
Starting point is 00:52:47 Triggered a larger midlife crisis that has now reflected itself in facial hair. Yeah, that's why you called your baby Corvette I get it now. I didn't I actually got a Vespa with the first baby And then I was like that was fucked up and then with the second baby. I like reflexively got another Vespa Yeah, so yeah, that was weird. Now, I'll tell you Chris when my first was born I had a very long beard right up until she was about nine months old At which point she was able to make full-blown fists and attempt to remove my beard from my face at which point I shorn it down to quite a short level So just I am not quite certain how old your baby is but you've got that to look forward to
Starting point is 00:53:26 He's about to be three and I oh, I cannot grow enough facial hair to Have him he already Punches me kicks me Yeah, I was in my face. He's at that age already where He I'll tell you the exact window He's in because I've heard that most kids go through this is He can pee in the potty no problem But he gets really embarrassed about pooping
Starting point is 00:53:50 So he poops in the diaper and then when you go to change the diaper, he's humiliated and shamed and reacts with rage and violence That's the exact window That's how I feel when I poop too. Just like still it's grow. It's it sucks that we have to do that It's so weird and and our parents told me I was the only one who did it Um That's fucked up that they said that to you trap. Yeah, I know it's really weird Hey, you got a you got a new uh, uh essay coming out from from scribed Oh, yeah, I'm promoting. I just I wrote a thing called dad on pills. It's on a service called scribed
Starting point is 00:54:25 Um, it's like it's not quite book length, but it's up there You can get an audiobook or ebook and it's all about I wonder, you know, I think a lot of people of our generation It's like we're the first people who started openly saying like hey, I take depacote. I take xanax. I have anxiety I have depression. We're all going to talk about these things But I wrote a thing that's all been about how I'm reconciling that with being a dad because a dad Like you're supposed to be a role model. Hmm mole rattle mole rattle My father was a Fantastic orator and a fine mole rattle for me
Starting point is 00:55:05 It's like I've spent my whole adult life feeling sort of like broken and not like a god No, I don't feel like a man by the traditional standards. So how do and now I have a son. That's ridiculous So I it's all about that and it's pretty funny and I like it and it's raw and it's real Can I ask you a question chris that I was struggling with last night? Sure. And this is a little more serious Well, we everybody's allowed to get so heavy. It's just like one more thoughtful. Um, the My kids are you know, like talking and but not Communicating just like, you know how kids are just sometimes like I just gotta make some noise Oh, yeah, and they were both doing it and I was really getting stressed out because I get too much like
Starting point is 00:55:48 Noise people talking and then you're feeding the kids and it gets like just because of the way my brain's all put together I got like unduly frustrated and like really in my head about it. And I really struggled with Should I like Should I tell my kids that like it's hard for me when this is happening like It was a real struggle. Like I didn't know really how to handle it Like I I felt weird telling them that they had to modify my behavior because of my You know mental illness and like I feel like as a parent sometimes I have this urge that I should just like keep trucking
Starting point is 00:56:27 And keep on pushing through no matter no matter what but it did feel like Admitting a a frailty To them and I and I don't know. I just want to get your thoughts on that sort of that's exactly what I did This thing that I wrote it's exactly about all those questions like that and and I'm with oh, so you're saying I gotta get It's gotta get his Plug plug plug No, but I'm with you and it's exactly just I sit there and I have all those instincts too of like I better put the poker face on and I better make them think everything's okay
Starting point is 00:57:00 And I gotta be strong for my son and my dad did all those things for me And he's a great dad, but then I also think about how many years I've unwrapped So much of those exact things in therapy and How that mentality of feeling like you need to be tough in the face of stuff and how You shouldn't show emotion like how much that built to boiling points for me and I go Oh, this is all stuff that instinctively I'm feeling like I have to do because that's the only example I know maybe some of it's example. Some of it's biological. I don't know
Starting point is 00:57:31 But it didn't work out well for me all those traditional like I wish that maybe at you know I'm not the only person of my age who probably wishes my dad could have been a little more emotional, you know, who Could have let his guard down at times and maybe that would have let me let my guard down and I sit here and I'm like, man I am a mess like I'm I'm an actual mess. I had an incident We moved to our house in jersey And I I write about this in the thing that I'm plugging, but I I started to have um
Starting point is 00:58:04 Like an attack like I've had these panic attacks these anxiety attacks over the years and I realized I hadn't looked up The mental hospital closest to me at my new house So I looked it up just in case I had to go and it was one that we used to when we were growing up in jersey One big thing that people like to do for fun is they go and they break into abandoned mental hospitals Yeah, it's really fun and I was like, oh It's gray stone hospital. I've broken into the abandoned parts of that Am I really going to go be is that the full circle moment of my life like when I was 16
Starting point is 00:58:36 I used to break into this mental hospital for fun and now I'm going to go be a patient there and I'm in my yard holding my That's the real circle of life And I'm like googling that with my phone in one hand while holding my son in the other and crying And I'm just like, oh, I am Am I I am bad at being a dad in the traditional sense so how do I
Starting point is 00:59:01 how do I do this and When I went to look for advice on it, there wasn't much out there. So I just wrote a thing that is funny I I'm not qualified to give advice, but it's like a funny look at stuff like this stuff Maybe yeah, we've been doing it for 13 years. There you go. Yeah, you build it, right? You just start getting honest. You just got to start getting honest You can also just and you can just do what I do Which is I I'm very open about my emotions in my mental health with my kids But then I also I also tell them stories about different wild animals that I've been in fist fight with
Starting point is 00:59:32 And like how much I've embarrassed those animals and be like, yeah There's one time three bears came in and I whooped their ass I do that too. Like I'm like, yeah, I know I'm crying about this McDonald's commercial I saw And I don't seem to be very okay, but I built that table you're eating on kid. Yeah, right, right? Oh, yeah I just watched 30 seconds of a homework bound and yeah, and now I'm sobbing But also watching me pick up this heavy chair. I can't listen to solo salute from sussical. So what kid get off my case I gotta punch this drywall Hey, you're going you're going on uh on the road again. Yeah, how you that's gotta feel gotta be exciting
Starting point is 01:00:07 Oh, it's the best. I I'd start it going on the road last year and then the omicron shut it down. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah, baby Yep I got it all scheduled starting in may people can go to chrisgathe.com and I got I mean dates all over the country of florida and uh, california and Portland and seattle and guess where else west virginia That's right. I'm the morning town I'll be there first time have you never been to west virginia general performer
Starting point is 01:00:35 I've driven through west virginia and I in my past life I used to work at a book series all about like haunted places and conspiracy theories and stuff So I've driven around west virginia in relation to trans allig any Asylum there. There's a huge Uh Abandoned mental hospital that they turn into a haunted house tasteful Yes
Starting point is 01:00:59 That's that's yeah, we did when we uh We are all our tours planned out for 2020 and we I can remember very clearly having this discussion of like Well, we had to cancel the march shows, but I bet this will be all set by april And I was right, but I it turned out to be april 2022. Yeah. Oh, so you guys got your your tour dates back up Oh, yeah And it's I wanted to like name the tour or something like You know the god willing and the creep don't rise to her or the like temp this time for sure Yeah, the pending to the hubris of man
Starting point is 01:01:40 That's at chrisgaff.com scribbed is where you can find uh, uh, chris's new not a book. I know It's like a novella. It's like a novella. It's called dad on pills. You'll like it on pills and uh Well, chris, I appreciate you being here, but thank you. Thanks for having me and we didn't even talk any smack about jd amato Which we could have done. Oh, we were all that fucking clown Join us for the for the mb mb am after show. Yeah Thank you. That was so fun. Thank you so much. Thank you chris No, that was for chris. Oh, that wasn't for you. Damn it. Don't try to steal one of justin's precious. Thankses Well, I was just so excited, you know, like on uh, great british bakeoff when uh, paul hollywood goes in for the handshake
Starting point is 01:02:26 And another contestant will swoop in and take the handshake. Yeah, and he says you can't take it back. Yeah, well Sorry, I was gonna shake your hand, but then tom rick came over and took it Yeah, tom rick is the name of every contestant on the show Anyway, thank you chris getherd and thank you to you for listening and I guess thank you to travis Yes, I don't need thanks. I don't need it. Got it I Travis do the promotions. You're good. Oh, right. Right. Right. Uh, so we're really excited. Uh, we're going back on the road 20 rondevue fancy takes flight tour tickets are on sale now
Starting point is 01:03:00 We have stops in washington dc. Detroit, michigan. Cincinnati, ohio st. Louis, missouri. Kansas city, missouri minneapolis, minnesota. You don't have to say the states Oh Mash and tuck it. It's all like city portland San diego and nobody's gonna be like tuck aerial people aren't gonna be like, oh, you mean san diego north carolina You know, I know but I was trying to get I was trying to pump it up You know, because sometimes people just like hearing the name of their state, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's how I feel when I hear ohio
Starting point is 01:03:30 Um, so virtual taz in may we've got all kinds of stuff going on You can find out, uh, all the links and all the info at bit.ly slash mackleroy tours And mask and proof of full vaccination or negative covid tests within 72 hours of the event start are required You can find out all the info once again, all the ticket links at bit.ly slash Macro like tours. We're so excited to see you and come to a town. Hopefully near you. I mean, we're doing as many as we can We're trying to catch up here. Uh, and thank you to everybody speaking of virtual mb mb am Thank you to everybody who joined us for the virtual show on saturday. That hasn't happened yet No, but it will once people listen to us. We haven't done it yet. How do you know if anybody joined?
Starting point is 01:04:12 Maybe nobody joined. Well, at least dad will be there video on demand is still available for 10 dollars You can still watch that now at bit.ly slash mb mb am virtual. You'll be the first Maybe you'll be the first. Well, I doubt they'll be mb mb am virtual travel. You got to do the year I know bit.ly slash mb mb am virtual. There's no way they'll be the first dad wrote a Children's book called goldies guides to grand traveling Comes out on march 29th. You can pre-order now at link tr dot ee That's lin k tr dot ee slash goldies guide
Starting point is 01:04:47 Go pre-order that now. We got all the great stuff over at macrimerge.com including the pin of the month Which benefits the national black women's justice institute We've got the 20 rendezvous pins over there. You can get two pins or one or whatever you want. Go check them out That's design three, baby. Whatever you want. It's designed by lucas hespin hide Go check those out and we've got the i'm not ashamed of my clown husband sticker Which is designed by jacob bailey and benefits the huddington children's museum Also, i'm on twitch twitch.tv slash the travis macroe Hey, thank you to montane for these for our themes on my life is better with you if you're in the mood for
Starting point is 01:05:24 dope tracks She just did a new single with david burn called always be you Possible impossible nobody's that it's possible. She is that cool and uh, yeah, good. Thank you. Thank you montane And that's it. We don't have a final yahoo ever again, but instead let's just Well, you do short prayer the thing is you're doing like a new bit Yeah, maybe oh griffin maybe this try like maybe this is like your final point sign off to like a college graduation Like this is your like, you know, don't forget to wear sunscreen or something like that Like what i am doing that
Starting point is 01:06:00 In a well, oh, then this is great practice. We haven't talked to listen griffin We don't have time to get into that because it will be a Thorough conversation. Okay when we do address that topic. Okay. Um, well then i will say that Go well go out there and just fucking go ahead and Go just go out. Sorry. It's go out there go ahead Tonight sounds like you're holding the door open for the graduating class tonight tonight makes to make the most of it Go and go out there go out there go ahead. Meet you at applebees
Starting point is 01:06:38 Why don't you just back i'm travis macaroy. I'm griffin macaroy. This has been my brother my brother me kiss your dad square on the lips Ah, it's better. It's better with you It's better. It's better with you. Is this true? It's better. It's better with you You Maximum fun org comedy and culture artists owned audience supported

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