My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 603: A Cold One Between the Shoulders

Episode Date: March 28, 2022

This episode has some notes of oud wood and creed green Irish tweed. It’s a little bit chewy with some sulfur undertones, and it’s a bit dry on the palate. In any case, there’s definitely some l...ingering wetness.Suggested talking points: Bespoke TikToks, Time to Blast Off, Umami Water, Community Theater Shrek, Bosh, Clone CologneThe National Asian Pacific American Women’s Forum: https://www.napawf.org/about Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up you cool, baby? Precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better with you
Starting point is 00:00:54 It's better it's better with you It's better it's better with you Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me an advice show for the Modron era I'm laughing already. Just get excited about these jokes. I'm Justin McElroy your oldest brother. I'm Travis the unappreciated I Don't think you can say that. I am. I'm feeling it Griffin. Yeah, but it does smack of like now appreciate. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, why do you think I would say it Griffin if I wasn't saying like I wish my brothers appreciated the hard Oh, it's us. Okay. Yeah, Griffin. I thought you were saying like the audience. No, I'm universally beloved
Starting point is 00:01:47 But not by us though is what it sounds what it's no well. I don't know if you guys love me I don't want to put that I just know that you don't appreciate the hard work that I do for you Okay, so it's day in day out. I'm deep in there mining that good content on tiktok curating a certain amount of like quality content for you. I texted you guys no response. Yeah Like I get to I send you like two to five tiktoks a day. Yeah, man. I mean I Mean I mean sometimes they're good days, you know where you go down the mines and you're like, oh I was going for 16 tons but I got 18 tons, you know, I mean and then I send those tiktoks on to you And I thought this is a baby makes a funny face or oh, it looks like this dog is talking or
Starting point is 00:02:33 This man just dropped a pizza down the right and like hand came out of the sewer to get the pizza And nobody's talking about pizza hand. Yes, and I'm like you guys love this and I send it to you And maybe they're not going through Maybe there's some kind of data plan issue. No, they're going through I only get tiktoks on nights and weekends and you don't send them then. Yeah I actually used all my tiktok minutes Well, and then you guys don't respond like ha ha good one or I really appreciate all the hard work you did finding Oh, wow this tiktok. Oh, wow. I mean honestly an emoji would be no that was me being surprised that that is something you expect like
Starting point is 00:03:13 Would yeah, I I nod Sometimes I sometimes I even watch them which I think is is nice. Yeah, that's huge. That's a huge Thank you for basically like bespoke tiktoks that I have. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've dug through Like the clearance aisle of tiktoks for you guys because I know that you have uh, let's call it what is very specific tastes You like very specific that makes us sound like perverts Well, I'm not gonna say it right, but you guys have Uh particular proclivities when it comes to your comedy videos And so I go through I find them I dig to the bottom
Starting point is 00:03:52 I find them and I say although like this and I send it to you guys Like I come to if you picture it in real life I'm cradling these tiktoks in my hands like a baby bird like a baby bird and I'm handing them to you like here But I don't look what I found for you No, this is like if the mama bird brought the baby bird like a rubik's cube And the baby bird would be like I didn't ask for this I didn't I don't know what to do with this. I don't know how to interface with this Am I supposed to thank you mama now when you entered into a relationship with me griffin you that was implicit in there
Starting point is 00:04:26 I hate the way that sounded implicit in there was when we began our connection our deep intimate I'll hang up relationship connection you you had to understand that you would be getting these presents for me Like if you befriend a present is a fun way of saying what I'm the crow bringing you a shiny button You know and sometimes oh, it's a mint You know like 1916 coin that's worth millions and sometimes it's a shiny button and you don't just thank the crow Uh when he brings you the mint coin you got to thank him all the time, you know Well, let me just go through the the most recent tiktoks that you've sent me. Yes, I'll watch them I'll watch them on the air
Starting point is 00:05:11 and we'll we'll know okay, so this is like Okay, so this is like It's like a willy wonka joke You sent one that's like a joke about willy wonka about how the girl and willy wonka asks for a bean feast and that's fun That is funny So that's one that's one really good one. Thank you I mean, here's my problem traf. I work really hard on my algorithm Yeah, if there if there's if I it bored for a second half a second. Yeah a moment, right
Starting point is 00:05:43 If i'm bored for half a second, I swipe what because I don't want I don't want I don't want I don't want The algorithm to think oh, he like this you want all wheat no chaff. I get it. He like he like this. He like this So what if you send it to me and I watch it to the end? Because I'm like, why the fuck would he send this, you know And but the algorithm sees that and thinks oh, he like it My if you don't trust me justin of all people like one of two brother one of your two favorite brothers Yeah, like Who do you trust the algorithm over me? You're trusted computers. My my algorithm is pretty much all
Starting point is 00:06:22 Hodor fan edits from game of thrones set to like cool anime theme songs Yeah, so every time I turn on the app there's there's just more hodor and some of them is like Here's there's some uh hodor's funniest moments And then some of them are quite sad. Yeah Would you say more funny or more sad? Uh, what sucks is sometimes it'll play like a funny song and hodor will be like, you know picking up a big thing And you're like, I love that and then yeah, but then he dies and it's like I don't like that Oh, no, that's a bummer. You know, I have a secret account
Starting point is 00:06:58 because I've used it to My algorithm is so perfectly honed that I only get videos where people are picking up big Hunks of ice from on top of things and smashing them But the ice also resembles 1990s kids tv stars Wow, that's very specific Well, there's only about four of them and then they just like loops through them over and over again But god, I fucking love them man. I will watch I will watch mark paul gossler's face get smashed on the ground It's all for all four out of context as bad
Starting point is 00:07:29 Well, he's made out of ice in ice war They're just too long travis if you sent me sick and maybe too long if the god damn griffin they're at most three minutes Too long i'm not sending you war and peace Do you understand that the idea of me sitting down to watch a three minute long video on my phone? Like when do I have that that's the saddest thing i've ever heard griffin How long are your bathrooms that you don't have three minutes to watch a goddamn tiktok? How efficient are you in there? Pretty efficient, man. I push it to the I push it to the limit
Starting point is 00:08:06 Yeah, I go in and finish and I get back to work. You're doing a full tech savory I need six seconds. Do you realize that vines were perfect for me? Yeah, I know because I could go in there blast off I could watch a couple vines on your reinforced toilet on 12 seconds I don't have a reinforced toilet. I don't have some sort. I don't have like a special way of I do it the way most people use the bathroom. Thank you Most people don't blast off in the toilet griffin your words fucking read. Maybe you should um Read like habits of business successful business people my favorite book. Do they have it in tiktok form? No, that's the next wave. Oh, they have it in vine form
Starting point is 00:08:49 And the vine just says push it to the limit and then blast off and then get back to work Uh, that is that is shorter. I would you guys believe tommy smurl fired me I really it's still such a mystery. Yeah I had the shortest bathroom breaks at that whole company Now I will say tommy has told me many times about how you would announce time to blast off Loudly every time you walked into the bathroom and he assumed that there was a masturbation thing The bigger problem is that I made my co-workers time me Yeah
Starting point is 00:09:19 All of them at the same time to see if they're watching this thing. I wanted to make sure that there was no discrepancy in the time keeping devices Yeah, and he can blame you. Uh, this is an advice show and uh, we're going to help you To start fresh this this spring to to take a fresh step in and to to really just you know, yeah get it Okay You know what fancy can't take flight if you're weighed down by the old Interesting so get ready to your grandpa Yeah I meant like the grievances of the sandbags on your fancy hot air balloon
Starting point is 00:09:58 But you know what in moana when her grandma beef set and she's like fucking finally. I'm free. Yeah She's been keeping me here. I couldn't have done this if my old sack of grandma She made me squish her bananas in just the way she liked them and I don't have to do it never again Now I'm flying on the back of her stingray spirit. Take me out of here. Hey, Maui here. Give me that rock I gotta put it in this lovely lady um, I love that movie so uh Read me a tiny tale that we might answer. Justin a tiny tale. Yes a story from a listener. Yes, really
Starting point is 00:10:34 Entertain me, Justin and let me dispense my wisdom I'm an aspiring judge for the berkeley springs international water tasting held annually in berkeley springs west virginia I've heard of it west virginia. I mean not the other part In order to prepare for the world's most prestigious Water tasting competition. Can you please help me think of some adjectives or phrases? I can use to describe the taste qualities of water and that's from your thirsty fan. Oh boy, excellent wet Well, okay, can you rate? I feel like I feel like wetness is fixed. You know, I mean wetness is fixed. You've never had a glass of water and been like
Starting point is 00:11:18 Wow That wasn't that was not especially that was not a very wet experience. That was Yes, I think for me it would be about lingering wetness We're like for me. I think it would all feel wet in the moment Yeah, but I wanted to stay wet right because if you stay what I take the wet in if you stay wet, you don't have to get wet Exactly. Thank you. You don't you wish you'd been there the first time someone was talking about wine and they drink Dranked it and the person's like Hmm very dry and their friends like what what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:11:52 What do you mean? It's dry. It's like it's a liquid. It's can't be dry And they're like, no, I just mean the flavor is dry and they're like, oh interesting So the opposite of that would be yes, sweet. That is the opposite of dry Yes, sweet. There's too many letters in there my friend. You're fucking up just like it's wet Is it wet or like why would you choose dry to describe the flavor of a liquid? It's so confusing Did you know I I'm trying to remember if it's one. Yes. I think it's in wine there is a taste quality of chewy
Starting point is 00:12:26 Oh and No, I don't think you can just say like somebody said that and then like quadrupled down on it so hard Oh, this is fun. Thank you that everybody started to like question it right like somebody was like, oh, it's chewy What? Okay, so it's chewy. I've got travis has led me to um a list of esoteric wine terms from wine mag or wine enthusiast as it's called now Uh umami could be a fun way to describe water. I think that that could actually right
Starting point is 00:12:56 What is water but umami flavor because it ain't It ain't the typical old straight out the waterfall water typically isn't Sour it guess it can be salty, but I don't think you're drinking oceans water But I mean you get some sulfur in there. Oh, that's um, that's umami right there Like any water that comes out of the sink in florida. That's umami right there And I think also what we're finding here is a question asker if you start any observation with oh That's blank, right? Not to be questioned that right like because that oh Represents a my seasoned palette has made a right like you can't just like bitter, right? You got to be like, oh
Starting point is 00:13:39 That's a spicy one. You could say this is a this this water is a closed Vintage it needs. Oh, it needs this water is not ready for prime time It needs to bud and bloom and blossom. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's a bad bake Is another one that's a bad bake is a one thing you can say about water You know, I actually said that and I think we all agreed that I Especially am like the girlfriend signs where if a glass of water has been sitting out for longer than Six hours it is
Starting point is 00:14:11 It is impotable. I drink water from a A bottle that's like at least a week old get out of here. Oh, yeah You lose your water bottle and then you find it later like I lost my world's best dad water bottle For like over a week and I found it uh this morning next to the paint next to the paint sink Wait, had you drunk out of it previously or was it untouched? No All your bacterium were just Climbing around in there. I'm just here enjoying it and that was the last they ever heard of justin
Starting point is 00:14:44 It's just water guys. How do you like? Yeah, but your mouth bacteria goes into the water Changes in all kinds of terrible ways becomes a paramecium brain disease There's a there's a society setting up inside your body now. You've got your fucking and I'll say it again I've said before I'll say it again. You got an osmosis jones situation happening. Justin Only your osmosis jones situation. It's like some it's like the thing inside it there like yours It's not a fun little white blood cell who like teams up with david high medicine Instead, it's just like a bunch of monsters that came out of your water bottle. That's disgusting I I have the uh wonderful combination of uh, not wanting to drink
Starting point is 00:15:24 Old water however, I see it and adhd So I'll fill a glass of water set it down and five minutes later Can't remember which of like the glasses on the counter What's the one like what was I drinking out of and so the only safe thing to do Is assume they're all old. Yeah, because it's just why that's a good thing But why are you just dump it out or throw it in the toilet or whatever because it's just water And there's always more of it We have the same water on the plan that the dinosaurs had where we need to we need to focus here
Starting point is 00:15:56 Muscular yeah, yeah describing water muscular water. This is a strong water. That's a powerful virile water Very muscular. Oh, that's here You can also make it really really completely subject like oh, that's the water to write home about Right and so like that's vague sounds positive sounds good Right and no one's gonna say to you. That's not true Hi guys, it's me Justin. I thanks for opening my letter. I have to tell you about this water guys All right, guys. You gotta check out this water. I sent some of it along in the envelope There's a I have to read this from from wine enthusiast one of the terms they use feminine
Starting point is 00:16:45 And then it says don't automatically bristle at this gendered wine term Uh, you can't just uh, it perfectly describes wines that tend to be lower in alcohol and tannins This is a quote from, uh, Ross Wheatley director perfectly Ross Wheatley director of food and beverage at lucy restaurant bar in yonkville, california Imagine a wine that has similar characteristics to a woman and her best qualities a wine that is light refined and delicate It might be called feminine the polar opposite of those so-called masculine qualities and wine strong muscular larger and bigger But don't automatically don't bristle don't automatically bristle Wait, can we explain it so you can really really bristle? You're gonna fucking bristle, baby
Starting point is 00:17:24 However much you're bristling right now. It's not enough just buckle in Don't use up all your bristling now Let us explain it. Don't burn out on the bristling now. There's so much more bristling to go much more to come uh This one really good I think the only wine term I like is sweet because I understand that and it's what I want Like if I'm being I I would like a wine that tastes good. Please like fruit tastes Can you give me good fruit taste, please?
Starting point is 00:17:53 Listen, if there's any professional sommelier's listening and I hope you're professional because I don't want to meet Just like amateur. Yeah, um, please start I it would mean a lot to me personally if you guys would use gross But use it like it's a good thing like chewy about a wine is like oh that's a gross wine I love that. This yucky one makes me want a barf. Uh, oh, yeah. Oh, no, it's so rare to find a wine this yucky That's great. Really? Oh, that's a meh. Oh when I drink this it makes me want to die This smells like a straight-up piss. I love this. What is this? Oh, this is magomore wine It's piss
Starting point is 00:18:32 Uh, hey, do you should we go to the wizard? Yeah, yeah, yeah wizard's got something helpful for us today. It was sent in by deli. Thank you deli It's uh, it's there's no name on it as wiki house staff. It was updated. I wrote it Oh, great work trap. This one had 42 co-authors. So a lot of cooks in the kitchen. I was one of them I was the third. Yeah, okay. So this one is how to flip someone off with style Yeah flipping someone off as a classic nonverbal signal for showing anger and frustration toward a person You might flip the bird to someone who has cut you off insulted you or otherwise provoked your ire Yeah, I'm not going to read the rest classic. You guys know what it is means to me. I got you. Uh, before we start
Starting point is 00:19:08 Can I ask just um Do you guys have a most memorable time that you were flipped the bird? Hmm Cooper did it to me one time real good. Nice. Oh, yeah, she got you. She got me when she was like A like her fine motor skills should not have allowed her to isolate a finger Yeah, let alone her middle finger, which is not the easiest finger to isolate but she was you know I want to say two months old and she gave me a cold one right to her shoulder blades and uh,
Starting point is 00:19:41 I still feel it when I was about 23 one time I was trying I was working in charleston about an hour away from home. I was driving home and uh, this car I saw it out on my periphery pulled up next to me And then like on the highway stayed Like side by side with me for a long time and I was like, I'm not gonna look I'm not gonna look I turned finally and looked and this person is complete stranger. No idea who this is Flipped me off in such an enthusiastic happy way But like force was like I felt the impact in my chest
Starting point is 00:20:15 Yeah, and then threw his head back and sped away Yeah, and I still I remember it to this day I still feel it in my heart Um, my friend stevo who I worked with at best buy uh-huh when the customers would be, um Really rude to him He would wait until they'd turned around to walk away and then he would flip them off Um, and he used to call it a cold one right between the shoulder blades. That's where I got that term Okay, I was wondering where that came from it popped out of my mouth and I was like, why do they call it that?
Starting point is 00:20:48 Yeah, yeah, I recall stevo stevo did it. Okay. Let's get into it. Give someone the finger This is a straight simple straightforward into the classic flip off Turn the back of your fist towards someone as though you were shaking a fist at them then extend your middle finger Hold the pose hold the pose and this part. I don't ever do and look the person in the eye Oh, oh, you gotta do that. You don't do that. No, I look down at the finger. I want to make sure I'm doing it Oh, I think my eyes dart from finger to eyes finger to eyes like see that get it Yes, try to point out it with other hand is an option. Oh, yeah, I'm doing with my left hand But I'm pointing with my right hand. Don't miss this
Starting point is 00:21:25 Don't miss this. I'm out or thought you do the west virginia or not. No, I don't no come on because that can mean anything Um, okay, so try using both hands. Yeah, whatever. That's twice as good the double. Yeah It does say as sort of a subsection to this second tip Do the x cross your middle fingers into an x and hold them against your chest facing the offense. That's cool I'm trying that right now and that feels really oh That has a chris angel energy to it for some reason. Yeah, I feel like that's how chris would flip people Yeah, he would definitely any view he do is both hands and then you'd be like, is there a third hand there? Oh, wow. Yeah, now it's more of an asterisk
Starting point is 00:22:02 Switch fingers this one. I don't understand and I'm even looking at a diagram For a somewhat more rapid dynamic insult flash your left and right middle fingers at the person in rapid succession Alternately keep both middle fingers extended and wave them around for emphasis. Oh, I see you go like left right left right Right, that's hard to do. I get cramped when I try to do that But yeah, I feel like that leaves you open to really undercut the moment because then like what I'm like I lost the hold on. I lost the pace That's a good workout If I saw someone do this to me, I would be
Starting point is 00:22:40 Pretty impressed actually. Yeah. All right. So now we're getting into some discreet flip-off moves. Act like you're itching your nose They talked about that on how what was the fucking show with Tim Roth whereas all about microaggressions and like you see What I don't think it was the ball Yeah Okay, I don't think Tim Roth I think it was what I think it was either bull or bosh Bought I think it was beep Beeper it was beeper boss or boop. I can't remember which show it was Um act like you're itching your nose. We did that one flip the person off behind their back. That's a good one
Starting point is 00:23:21 That's that's some cold real stevo style The do the now we're getting sort of theatrical and this is the opposite direction and these I've never heard of some of these and they made me Fucking bust do the jack-in-the-box flip-off. Oh, that's a good one And you're like doing the cranking it up and it's like getting bigger and bigger And it does say here make sure you have the person's undivided attention This move takes a bit of time to pull off and you want to make sure Just hold on wait, wait, wait, wait Also can't do it while driving because you need at least one hand on the wheel. Come on. Yeah
Starting point is 00:23:52 Uh, yeah, well you can put your elbows or your forearms sort of at ten and two and then yes Or how fucking funny would that be if somebody tried to do that? So the Check this out. This is how I feel about and then the other person was just like I'm gonna walk I will leave before you can finish the night. I'm on my way out the tool I'm not going to receive the bad part of this maneuver. You can't trick me into doing that Practice the balloon hold your fist in front of your face and put the tip of your thumb in your mouth and act like you're blowing up A balloon blow into your thumb and slowly extend all your fingers as if your breath is inflating them
Starting point is 00:24:26 Then you hold the middle finger of the balloon hand with your other hand and you move the thumb away from your mouth Slowly close the other fingers on your balloon hand until you only your middle left finger is so much work you want to flip Yes, I I've always thought that that move makes you look like the silly one Right like that is blow it up your hand like a balloon does it makes you look like a silly person That doesn't embarrass the other person so much as it's like that's a lot of work Yeah for what you've done to me It's like the holding up three and saying read between the lines which i'm betting is on this list
Starting point is 00:24:55 It's not that's funny though Read between the lines you hold up all three fingers I like that one a lot because you can do that at school and not get in trouble This maneuver requires you to put your filthy hand in your mouth So like who's on the losing end of this one the person who you have done the balloon flip off to or the person Who has contracted the novel coronavirus you you are the one um I also am imagining somebody having this article open following these directions step by step to do the balloon flip off like
Starting point is 00:25:26 Hold on I mean like Oh, I forgot the fingers hold on the fingers Um pretend to find your middle finger like it's in your good one fuck. Yeah, that's good. Yeah But if you don't find it though, that's gonna be terrifying and what's really fun is you can do this You could actually keep this going for a long time. Hey, have you seen it? No, I just had it But can you look in the oh, I found it and then they're like blown backwards Yeah, the longer you take the better if you can make it last a couple days play. I just had it Oh, here it is and you pull it up, but it's your ring finger and you're like, oh, no
Starting point is 00:26:01 Shoot, I thought this was it and what's great is you can do this one and it can be like a fun game for a baby, too You can be like, where's my middle thing? Can you help me find it? Where's my where's my daddy finger? My favorite one and it's uh a little intricate. It's a lot like the balloon one But uh or the dragon box really but you don't uh, I think it's less embarrassing for you And you hold up one finger you do make it kind of a show right and you go It's the index finger And then you hold up another hand and it's empty And then you slam them together and that finger jumps over to the middle thing on the other
Starting point is 00:26:35 Yeah, and it's like a magic trick that one is horrible That's song for baby's daddy finger daddy finger. Where are you here? I am here. I am how do you do? You know that one? Yeah, but I think the one I think the daddy finger is the Thumb, yeah, so but the middle finger is so much the mommy finger is the index Yes, the brother finger. I think is the yeah because it's immature, right? That's that's the immature finger It's bigger right because sometimes dads are not as big as their sons sometimes sons get bigger. That's fair But that that the thumb does so much more work, right? The thumb's got a job. What's the middle finger doing? Right like if you think about it your index finger and your thumb are the hardest working
Starting point is 00:27:17 Fingers on your hands, right? That's why it's mommy and daddy that that now that middle finger It's not really doing a lot, right? Yeah, I like doing a lot. Hey brother fingers should have been what we called the this podcast Fuck no, wait, we might have attracted a different audience if we said Long crowd I think would be drawn to brother fingers. Hey try the trumpet Blow on your thumb while pretending to play the trumpet and flail your fingers as though you're hitting the valves Periodically hold up your middle finger add some musical effects for style pretty sure I did See Ace Ventura do this one in the theater. I think so too But also driven the way that you said the trumpet made me think you're going to go into mambo number five. Thank you
Starting point is 00:27:55 Okay, good. Okay. Our brains are broken in a very similar fashion. All you said was the trumpet. Yeah, that's like, oh, okay Here we go. Let him Monica. I said it that way on purpose though. Okay, great Yeah, you're you're playing with our Pavlovian responses. Absolutely. I am this is honestly the reason why I included Why I wanted to do this article because the last maneuver is one I've never seen before um Try the double extreme Extend the middle fingers of both hands then bring your arms behind your back and through your legs You should have both middle fingers clearly presented note only people with long arms can pull this off
Starting point is 00:28:37 Okay, well through the leg wait, hold on around the back And through the legs. I see you trying to Like work through the physics of this um It's there your middle fingers are basically going to be sort of pressed down against your inner thigh While you are in sort of almost a seed like a squat while your your middle fingers are Imagine if you were you squatted and you grabbed your thighs and tried to rip yourself in half Why instead of doing that you just extended your middle fingers. It's very
Starting point is 00:29:11 Unpower it's a very it's a very obsequious way to I think give someone the double bird It seems like you're inviting people to push you over at this point Unless unless the thing is here like I'm flipping off and I made you look at my crotch at the same time. Yeah Yeah, that's the oh, that's a good. That's that's this is a good actually. I'm turning on this one. I like it You like it now. Yeah, I'm gonna do this to a bag to a bad guy. I don't like another good one This is one of my favorite also when magicians do it They see it in front of like a background right and the cards just seem to keep coming in their hands And they're like pulling them out of thin it you could do that with middle fingers too
Starting point is 00:29:47 Where you're just like they're coming from all what there's so many that's a good one too And once again, then you're uh distracted when your friend can pickpocket them If I ever did meet the piss man Theodore Cruz And I Realized that this would be my only opportunity to try the double extreme on him Yeah, do you think that by the time I started this maneuver his like body guards or whatever would take me out Because they would think I was doing some like no, they love it There's no way anyone who works for well
Starting point is 00:30:15 No, just imagine the imagine the the setup for the move of me like very quickly shoving my Hands behind me and through my thighs like are they gonna think I'm about to go You know I'm saying they might they might think let's see how this plays out Yeah, they might just roll it a little bit I would need a photo like a professional Photographer like a senior pictures photographer on hand to make you want to jostin's there They would pull out their phone and be like, oh shit geoduck. Hold on one sec I'll get this geoduck real quick. Is he laundering your pants for the fifth time today?
Starting point is 00:30:54 Because you piss because you piss like you like the feeling of the warm when it runs down. Did you say geoduck? The big clam That's not a pokemon is it? No, it's a big clam. What am I thinking geodude geodude or perhaps cyduck? Yeah, I kind of fused them together when those I've always wanted those two to Fuck you know to fuck no, it's it's about more than sex with these two. There's romance too. Oh, that's nice They have so much in common Did you see did you see the piss boy? Uh in interviewing the uh potential Supreme court justice and he asked about a children's book about anti-racist baby. His baby's right
Starting point is 00:31:34 Hey, hey, I got one for him. But the scorchy robot is baby's racist God this fucking I can't talk about this fucking dude. The pest list you do governance No Does he do governance or does he literally just troll 24sf? He I think literally just trolls 24-7. He he recently missed a flight at airport in montana And he got a little unruly and airport police had to Help diffuse the situation and then a day later. He was like, I don't think you have the temperament to be a supreme court justice He sucks shit and I I I would love to just give him a double extreme
Starting point is 00:32:11 Yes, and his and his his mom wishes he was dead. Okay. Wow. So wow Just uh Okay, so here's some quick community q&a question. Can you suck your middle finger as an insult don't Yes, as I can indicate that you're telling someone to suck it suck it is a rude sentence that may offend people So try not to use it too often or around sensitive people. Well, hold on now. Imagine this I flip someone off Clear signal, but then I start sucking my own finger That my friend that sucks. No pun intended. That's rough stuff. That's the most mixed Signal I've ever seen in my life
Starting point is 00:32:54 Uh, well, I get in trouble if I flip off my pet hamster if a parent sees you maybe or if a sibling sees you and tells a parent But a hamster doesn't know what human hand gestures mean You don't fucking know that just because the hamster can't respond The hamster can't tell your parent can't knock on you doesn't mean that when you flip off, you know Little jerry the gerbil or whatever that he's not like, oh fuck me. Yeah, you're close um I thought we were bros I don't want to yuck a yum here potentially, but is it bad to have a flipping off fetish
Starting point is 00:33:25 Is it bad? I I would say that if I was ever able to give Theodore Cruz the double extreme I would get pretty hard What technique would be most appropriate when dealing with a difficult child behind their back would be the best approach They wouldn't see you so they wouldn't snitch Wait, how difficult and are they your own child? Because if it's a kid on the playground who's being a dick to my kid Yeah, I want them to see
Starting point is 00:33:54 There is a chance though that you flip off a kid and like who's you know Who really like needs to be flipped off and then you have like, uh, you know like um good will hunting kind of thing Where it's just like hey, I needed that man. Thank you for sitting my life. Thank you on the right path Yeah, you're right. I am a dirt bag and I did trample your child on the I never thought about that How I moved through space without considering the fact that there might be other children who might in fact be smaller than me Around and I never thought that maybe I'm the problem, but you flipped me off, man And you really changed it's like you were pointing up which was the only direction I had to go Right, and you really turned my life around man and now the parents come up the parents come up and they're like
Starting point is 00:34:33 Thank you. Thank you. And now I'm a doctor and I'm gonna save your life That's you we're in a car accident and I having to be driving by And the lord works the mysterious ways man, and you flipped me off and you were my angel and now I'll be yours I bumped you up the heart transplant list because 30 years ago You gave me a cold one right between the shoulder blades right when I needed it most Yeah And I turned around and saw it and you nodded and you pointed at it and I felt it in my heart And it turned me around that day and now I'm the president and I'm president doctor and I'm gonna save your life
Starting point is 00:35:05 I'm gonna give you my own heart while I do the transplant. That's right. Watch I'm cutting it open right now and I have enough time to finish and now I go fast go fast go fast go fast All right, I didn't you're gonna have to do the selling up part yourself if you can handle that Um, and now I died That's a beautiful story we just told and it was a true story. I saw it on my nanny's facebook And then the liberal college professor fell down an open manhole and died Let's celebrate our risen savior in the muddy zone You
Starting point is 00:35:59 You know when god wanted to teach everybody a bunch of new languages he did it with the tower babble and now you Don't think that was the point of that story Yeah, that's how god invented languages, but now they're all out there and they're all done Babel is the name of the service b a b b e l It lets you to learn a different language. You're gonna be traveling abroad You want to connect a deeper web family? She's got some free time. We want to expand the brand keep the narrow transmitters Pumping you know today this day and age. We're more connected than ever You can have friends all across this great globe of yours who share, you know, whatever
Starting point is 00:36:36 Weird things you're into and you can talk to them about it using babble Babble has 15 minute lessons that make it the perfect way to learn a new language on the go They got 14 different ones not just the boring ones that everybody knows But some like off the beaten they got Esperanto They don't got Esperanto, but they do got spanish, french, italian, german many others Obviously, there's 10 more than that. Yeah, I just did the math the speech recognition technology that the app uses Uh, we'll actually listen to you talking and be like, hey, that was wrong. No Oh
Starting point is 00:37:10 It's like you don't even speak this language. You can it's so weird in the settings. You do have uh, like high school bully setting Where it's just like, you know, nice. Normally, it's just like, oh, you can do better next time But if you turn on a high school bully, it's like nope beefed it That's great. Uh, right now save 60 percent off your subscription when you go to babble.com slash my brother That's babble.com slash my brother b a b b e l.com slash my brother for up to 60 percent off your subscription babble I'm good for life. You know what guys Oh, I used to think and this is really hard for me to admit
Starting point is 00:37:46 I used to think I wasn't A short sleeve button-up kind of person Wow Yeah, I used to think that I was only a long sleeve button up and then roll up the sleeves when it was hot Yeah, and it took It took my friends at stitch fix to help me realize that the problem wasn't me It was that I wasn't finding the right shirts And now I look at my wardrobe and I see these beautiful
Starting point is 00:38:16 Like short sleeve button-ups that are really going to show off my muscles And I think thank god for stitch fix. They saved me And they can save you too because when it comes to looking good stitch fix has you covered Say goodbye To endless browsing and hello to fresh mix curated for your taste and size because here's the thing I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty sure I know about you too The idea of someone saying what kind of clothes do you like? And you're going
Starting point is 00:38:46 I like good ones that make my weird human frame pleasant to gaze on You know, I like uh the ones that uh with the fabric And so that's why it's wonderful to have stitch fix because they have like this quiz you can take and you could tell them Like where you would wear it. Um, what kind of things you're into what do you do in your free time? All that stuff instead of just like having to actually know anything about clothes or fashion And they'll find it to you from work wear or casual basics
Starting point is 00:39:17 They can help you elevate your look and they will send you five pieces that fit your style size and price range And you only keep what you like you only pay for what you keep It's amazing and if you prefer to shop but don't want to browse endlessly you can check out stitch fix freestyle Which is an online shop built just for you based on your choices So go take that style quiz so stitch fix can learn your preferences from your favorite colors to preferred fits and price ranges All that stuff get started today by filling out your free style quiz at stitch fix dot com slash my brother and get free shipping and returns stitch fix dot com slash my brother
Starting point is 00:39:53 My brother it's you you can wait. No, dude. I think it would probably be smart. Yeah, it's in yeah I have to say it right stitch fix dot com My brother I know it's stitch fix dot com slash my brother stitch fix dot com slash my brother Hi, i'm biz host of one bad mother whether you're a parent or just know kids exist in the world Join us each week as we honestly share what it's like to be a parent I signed my step son up for a camp that is actually in another state
Starting point is 00:40:28 I feel really stupid and I don't think we're gonna get the money back And then he found out that the car manual is a book about cars. So now he's reading our car manual We So join us each week as we judge less We'll have more and remind you that you are doing a great job Download one bad mother on maximumfund.org and yes, there will be swears Hey there beautiful people i'm travel anderson and i'm jared hill We are the hosts of
Starting point is 00:41:03 Fantae the show where we have complex and complicated Conversations about the gray areas in our lives the things that we really really love sometimes but also have Some problematic feelings about yes, we get into it all You want to know our thoughts about Nicki Minaj and all her foolishness? We got you you want to know our thoughts about gentrification and perhaps some positive question mark Aspects of gentrification. We get into that too every single thursday You can check us out at maximumfund dot org. Listen, you know, you want it honey. So come on and get it period
Starting point is 00:41:41 How about another question yes, please I recently pulled the trigger on something i've wanted to do for months and died my hair green nice Well, I love the result and i'm very happy with how it looks I'm having some annoying comments made about strangers and friends The two that are most repeatedly said to me are did you die at first st. Patrick's day and much worse? Did you want to look like the joker? Is that really worse? Yeah, it's a little worse. It's a lot worse travis. Okay. It's definitely worse I
Starting point is 00:42:13 Usually meet these questions with a chuckle and an excuse about liking the color But they are really wearing me thin. Do I embrace this new persona thrust on me? Or is there a way I can Dissuade these questions remember being asked that's from not so serious in the northwest I would say there's a third. I suggest you know, you don't have to embrace the joker persona and please don't Please he sucks. Yeah, at least one of the tasteful. Yes. One of the lesser threatening one Caesar Romero Yes, that guy was just kind of silly with big weird bombs Um, big weird weird bombs. Um, bongs bongs. Yeah, probably
Starting point is 00:42:50 And I think he painted over his mustache if I remember correctly. That's fun. That's great. Let's crank some cotton on that face Oh, ribbit clouds Um, but I I think that you don't have to accept it and you want to know how I got these nugs Ha, I don't think you can also dissuade it unless you like wear a sign or a shirt or something But I think people can ask these questions and you just like no Oh, yeah, but no, but I mean here's the problem and and question asker you I'm so proud of you For going for it and dying dying your hair green go for it
Starting point is 00:43:26 But here's what the the sort of thing that you gotta you got to accept is that People see things that are different and they are curious about it and they want to Say something and I mean like it's an external thing, right? It's not like you've privately started Some sort of meditation practice or something. This is a public expression of yourself So you got to figure out why and it's if it's another person's business and you say like, I don't know I just felt like it That's a perfectly valid response
Starting point is 00:43:59 But you are going to get people commenting on it because it's like That's just humans. That's how humans are and you know what? I think it's maybe not the word especially if it's strangers doing it I think that's great because it's like a good opportunity to like I don't know you got the what's it as they say in the communication World like you got the what's it just they they they start the conversation and you can continue it meet meet new people Now it happens it happens to me a lot that people will see my purple hair and Clearly they feel like because I've done it. I want people to comment on it
Starting point is 00:44:30 Um, and they can't think of something to say and people will just go purple It's like, yeah, and then that that's the extent Of these people five-year-olds travel Hey griffin when it comes to social interaction everybody will often like devolve into that. Yeah, sure Another option is you could if they say did you get that is that joker hair and you say no, it's actually Insert anime character here. Oh, yeah That's a conversation that will stop the conversation in its tracks depending. Oh depending on where you are and who you're talking to That's fair because maybe you just started a new friendship. Yes
Starting point is 00:45:08 um It looks like the main boy in my hero academia has green hair So that's one for you. Just say I did it based on the the main boy Is Bulma does Bulma have green hair? I can't remember. I thought Bulma was bald It makes me really sad because I dyed my hair purple Because I thought at the time I remember I went in and I said Purple like the jokers and no one corrected me I thought the joker had purple hair and then no one commented on it
Starting point is 00:45:37 But I was already committed to the purple hair thing. You got your hair dyed purple to look like I thought he was the Who has green hair? I thought I just didn't I didn't look it up before You said enough You said it just I blew it. No, you stop and let us talk when you went in to get your hair dyed purple You wanted it to look like the joker who has green hair? Well, I didn't know I didn't know I didn't look it up I remember the color of it well because I but it's you're sure enough You're sure enough to dye your human hair. Well, you had the purple suit But not I think that's what threw it Justin. That's what Travis I have
Starting point is 00:46:13 I'm gonna give you one chance to tell me that you're this is a joke for show Yeah, and I need to know that it's a joke for show now Justin What does it say about your opinion of me that I have told you that I your 38 year old brother Who's had his hair dyed purple for like five or six years now did it to look like the Joker? But I didn't look up a picture the jigger beforehand and you're like I can't tell this is real or not What's us say it's making me Re-evaluate a lot about my life Honestly, that's true. That's true. Actually Travis. That seems like a problem and not a does it but yeah, no, okay, but this is a thing
Starting point is 00:46:59 It's like a Halloween costume Joker and there's nothing better for your Than just googling people dressed up as the Joker. Oh Incorrect Googling community theater Shrek Shrek is great community theater Shrek is if you don't have that same as a Google image search. I would highly Highly recommend Google Google image searching community theater Shrek because they're all oh boy Basically the best there every single one is a fucking purple This one's a purple Shrek with a green nose and green ears
Starting point is 00:47:35 Got wait is Shrek not purple god damn it Oh, no, every image from community theater Shrek Google image search is funnier than anything Every single one you just can't get him Right. He just isn't gonna look right ever. Yeah It just all looks wrong. It all looks if he's not right It's just him being realized and it's not the community theater. He looks weird in the musical, too Yeah, it's just you it's just weird to have a Shrek in real life. Well, it's the it's the uncanny valley Justin Or if you actually got too close to Shrek, it's upset it right if he's bad if it's a bad or that doesn't look like Shrek
Starting point is 00:48:12 It's funny, but if you're like that. Oh my god, that's fucking mighty. I wish this was a video podcast So people my lord, can I just say Justin that donkey ain't great either? No, they're all it's all it's all that we should do a video One day of like community theater Shrek's cuz they're all Really, this is we should Justin. I here's what I want. Oh my lord Justin The next live show we do I want you to put up pictures and we have to guess which level of theater That oh that's that could be a fun game if it's professional community Alternate idea is we just at the next live show. I'll show up dressed up as Shrek. Oh
Starting point is 00:48:56 I love the Kansas City is just around the corner We as is Shrek country as they call it Shrek country. It's time to put our show to the test Justin Here's what we're gonna do We're gonna build an hour-long slideshow of different Shrek costume pictures and we are not going to reference that it's gonna play in the Background as we try to do our show. Oh, wow, which one is funnier, right? Well, like I we would lose that every time every show we're going to go amp to amp Ant versus amp battle of the bands us versus theater Shrek to see who is funnier They look so swollen. This one's got a huge eyebrows
Starting point is 00:49:33 something about it does why Why can't the head pieces be that I'm looking at Alberta Alberta Alberta's got some thick We can't do this anymore. No, this isn't for podcast I just have a problem with the head pieces seem like they were molded to somebody else and then It was a different Shrek at the last second. Yeah. All right. Let's stop. Hi guys. Oh You can't just sneak into the room like that Y'all Justin left so I came in and there's so many pictures are Shrek on here guys. What's up? It's Richard Sting Welcome to the party. We were we were here. What party? Yeah, we've been here Richard. Welcome to the party boys
Starting point is 00:50:15 All right, um, you ready to crank it. What? Oh, no Richard No, Travis, you ready to crank a party out boys. He doesn't mean like the jerk off way. No, no, no I mean it in the regular way. Um, yeah, let's get out Here we go Hi everybody, I'm Richard Sting and I'm so excited to talk with you and be here on the show I'm gonna do 50 jokes. I know everybody's thrilled to have me and I'm thrilled to be here with you So let's get going with Richard Sting and my brother my brother featuring my brother my brother and me All right guys, I just wanted to do something high energy. It can be so sort of like
Starting point is 00:50:57 boring oh our show our show can be it can just be like not boring like there's people who like it, but like It's a little low. Oh Okay, sometimes I like to pump it up get real, you know sure Yeah, so hey guys, what's going on? I was promised 50 jokes Richard. Yeah. Yeah, I can't deliver on that I don't know why I promise it. It's okay Richard. It was good. You have one. Can you do one too? I I cannot joke with my heart is filled with such a sad Yeah, is it about your walk with Christ? No my walk strongly never bro, but thank you for asking Hey Richard, have you ever had a standoff with a liberal college professor?
Starting point is 00:51:42 Yeah, then he dropped it. He dropped his chalk and it landed his bank coffee. It's amazing So and then he was hit by a bus and died. Yeah, and where did he go when he died? Well, that's he's up to his walk with Christ I would never suppose another brother where he was in the okay, so anyway, like I'm pretty sad cuz I'm I'm out of the game. What? I'm out of the cent game guys. Whoa, huh? Well I'm married what a girl right she's Singapore, you know, I don't wait this guy gets it. What are you in the last three months?
Starting point is 00:52:21 That one got it right there. You get it. You know what I'm talking about. She's a girl from Singapore I'm married and it's like I love her so much. Did you just get married? What is this new or if you've been married this whole time? I just got married, bro Okay, I wouldn't tell you before this right? I mean, yeah in one of our just got married all my job sessions So I just got married to this girl from Singapore and it's like so specials her walks first off the body's fuck All right. Yeah, what's her walk with Christ like though her walk every walk is like good man She's like six foot five and she and you're equal you're equally yoke as far as we're both six foot five super sexy, okay? I Just don't want her to drag you down, but no, thanks, bro. Yeah, but she's allergic, right?
Starting point is 00:53:12 The first time she met me she get that this is actually our meet cute She met me and got within three feet of me and blacked out. Oh, man, Richard. You don't want that I'm actually amazed she made it three feet like that close Hitting the Tom Ford woodwood a little hard Big old powerful sexual okay, this is a big boss fragrance that you're see Look at this. You can't stay out fall fall into all that. Yeah Drags you back in. Is that a spring scent though? Cuz I do need a new spring set. I've been doing the imaginary office
Starting point is 00:53:52 Would you fucking ask the Tom Ford woodwood would be a spring that don't fucking know Richard I'm still doing the imaginary authors one. You sent me you want to do like something with Vettiver like spring freshness green Irish like something with like violet in it Vettiver. I'm not doing this anymore. I got the new game. Okay, your boy Irish tweed by the way green Irish tweed in like the scent of green Irish tweed It's creed green Irish tweed. Oh by the band creed No Travis here. You are wasting my time. The audience When you go to the store when you go to
Starting point is 00:54:37 Walmart, do you ever get the dive it off cool water? No, I don't when you go to Walmart to get the bacon And cheese and different bread that you need and you got to get Underwear, do you ever get David of cool water? I think my own bread Richard. It's like It's a devil of cool water is like is a is a green Irish quit Green Irish tweed like clone. Oh, okay. Does not clone not clone. It's a clone It's a clone. That's a clone. I got it does creed the band to make a celebrity fragrance. Do you know? I'm not gonna talk about fragrance. I think I call it like with nose wide open Stank is synonymous with one thing. That's fragrance sure, but if I can't do like clone cuz
Starting point is 00:55:32 She's too belerting. What's her name by the way? Sorry Sarah Sarah three a's. Oh Sarah three. Wait three a's total or three a's in one place That's a nickname. Okay. What's her real name? I'm not gonna. Oh, yeah, that's fair. Yeah, yeah, even as I was asking it I yeah, everybody's trying to get to me, bro It sounds like Sarah stink might like might be the name. Oh, did she take your last name? Stank is synonymous with one thing. That's fragrance if I can't do clone. What's my what's my what's your name? No, my name is still Richard stink. I just get the new thing waffle cheese. Oh guys
Starting point is 00:56:13 I'm now like a cheese lifestyle kind of guy. Okay, so like if you I like tell people in my youtube series and like to talk Did I do you do tick-tock? Yeah, do you want me to start sending you videos? I Rather you didn't cuz I don't want to like pollute the creative waters mine or like It's like a lot of me eating ice What yeah There's a lot of tiktoks of me eating ice and like sometimes it's just me squatting in my underwear with a pile of vegetables And I'm just like praising Christ for the bounty, you know, it's a good
Starting point is 00:56:51 I've seen those Richard. I didn't know that was you That's me. Yeah, I do a lot of you use a lot of weird music choices with that But not a jewel in there. It's all cheese. All right Like this is the new thing if you want to stink But you don't want to make your life allergic then you just I mean you name it bud. Like you can get a nice girl. Yeah, good spring cheese What spring cheese? Oh? You're gonna want to go out pine for like a nice spring cheese. Yeah, that's like a pressed cheese
Starting point is 00:57:29 Like Gruyere. Yeah. Yeah, or like, you know, it's like a that's like a just like pressed How do you they press it? It's like a good like Sexy run on the outside. It was like huge beast mode or Fred runs on there Like fontina of the hour. These are your like what would you say a Alpine cheese like a mango goat cheese? Would that be spring years that were summery? That sounds pretty gross That I would cuz obviously just cranberry goat cheese is like fall winter. Wait, wait, wait I'll make a cheese
Starting point is 00:58:09 Oh Richard Richard a goat. You can make goat cheese. I read a book. I read him book. I'll make it Yeah, no cow doesn't that's true cow makes cheese, but you don't make goat cheese They're actually doing really cool things with like non-dairy cheeses. Can we just can we can we stop for a second? Yeah, Richard I Think that this might not be your calling. Yeah Your calling might be To spread the word, but do they make a person cheese? You know Richard the person cheese. Yeah guarantee they do You can milk anything. Yeah. Yeah, you've been watching me. Oh, that's funny
Starting point is 00:58:52 Could you know 49 jokes? Yeah, Richard. Are you happy? I know Sarah makes you happy, but are you happy? I Don't smell like anything. Oh boy, you're neutral my hands smell like a Okie cuz she's most of it smells really bad. Yeah, my dad and it gives my hands a cheesy stank a smell that slingers When I walk in the club, yeah, no one is like Fuck be small this guy over here huge okie notes. What is that? Elixir Like no one is like that people are like, oh, they let the cheese man in the club He must be bringing more cheese for us to enjoy at our party that he is not invited to Richard
Starting point is 00:59:38 I want you to know you might not know this our show is Primarily an advice show. Yeah, I like to walk. Yeah, who would listen to that? Well a few a few people, but I want to I can solve this problem Richard This is a quarter great relief for me What you're gonna need and I saw this once When I was taking a tour of the underground bunker at the the Greenbrier in You're gonna need to build yourself You're gonna need to build yourself
Starting point is 01:00:13 She wants to become walk on the beach. Oh, that sounds nice You're gonna build an airlock kind of thing right so you can enter the house right remove your clothing change into non-perfumed clothing After I've already removed. I don't wear clothing usually unless I'm going to like a funeral It's basically just underwear and a gold chain. Okay, you're gonna say vegetables that you just Praise I get it right you're gonna like fully shower off before you into the home You're gonna be sent free but only at home Richard. Yeah, it'll be like the Andromeda strain Richard You're gonna sort of completely distinct before you enter into the domicile
Starting point is 01:00:51 Then you can reapply you can have a shed outside Your sprays. Yes, just like a spray down. Yeah, you could get like like a spray tanning booth But just fill it with your you know your favorite. Yeah, and then stink up on your way out cuz here's the thing Justin likes Perfumes yeah Justin despises what he calls raw cheese Which is to say any cheese that hasn't been melted in sort of queso nacho form or sandwich for him Or do a grilled cheese. Yes. Thank you. Justin doesn't know anything about perfume But I believe he is actually garnered a lot. He's Jennifer garnered a lot of your
Starting point is 01:01:34 Yeah Right, okay, yeah, because you do leave a lot of it around the studio my ectoplasma. I meant bottles But yeah, I'll say wait. Hold on Travis. Wait. Don't just jump over that You're what? Excuse me Richard. Are you a good good good ghost? Oh Lord he's a banshee it seems don't make fun of him Stop making fun of him. You're making him uncomfortable. Is that his uncomfortable sound? Wow Okay, this is my this is my English is not good when you said ectoplasm, what did you mean?
Starting point is 01:02:28 Right that from that. I mean stink cloud Surround me is it my ectoplasm. What do you what is this word ectoplasm ectoplasm? What do you what is the word ghostly English word for your stink cloud that is in the room for many hours after you leave it? What is English word? God is fine. You can call that cloud is fine. Yeah, right like visible where you can Yeah Yeah, I miss that God I miss that how do people know if I've been in a room before I will be approaching it within the half mile Yeah, I don't know man leave cheese around you could sort of seed cheese. I
Starting point is 01:03:10 Don't even like okay Richard Listen, I love I love that you are willing to make these sacrifices for Sarah, right? But you need to make sure have you asked her if she wants you to make these sacrifices she does yes, I mean this Okay, have you considered maybe just a long-distance relationship cuz those can be really fun and sexy or a boy in the bubble kind of thing Right, I don't know how if it's long distance like how I Get it. Yeah, no, you don't have to say it We know We know you waited till marriage
Starting point is 01:03:46 My question is like how do you yeah? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you don't have to say it Richard Cuz we know it right yeah But it can yeah that part's tricky. I bet you could find a special suit though that would contain your stink But let your yeah Special, you know your little Richard out. Yeah, this thing thing this thing think wow, okay? Well, look at that. That's all the time we have and I gotta go guys. Bye Richard See you in summer and in hell seems so far away. Hey guys. Hi. Welcome back. Yes, mister. You just But you notice there's no stink around, but there's a lot of cheese I
Starting point is 01:04:26 Would be I'm just as heartbroken about that as you will be if you miss us the Macaroy brothers In our 20 rendezvous fancy takes flight to her tickets for all shows are on sale now at bit.ly Ford slash McElroy tours, but you're gonna want to get here in April for st. Louis on on you guessed it Travis 420 we're back on the road on 420. I hope we don't get too high Wonderful is gonna be opening that show. It's gonna be in st. Louis. It's gonna be four four twenty You know what that means. Couldn't have planned it better. I don't know what that means
Starting point is 01:05:06 But also Kansas City, Missouri on a 421, which is like one better than 420 and Minneapolis for my brother my brother and me on the 22nd and The Taz show on the 23rd. Don't miss that will also be in Boston, Mash and Tuckett It's all like city Portland, San Diego, Washington Detroit Cincinnati and a virtual Taz in May Mask and proof of full vaccination or negative COVID test within 72 hours of event start is required Get your tickets at bit.ly slash McElroy tours. I also want to tell you about cuss cares, which is a virtual live show I am hosting this Friday April 1st. Our guests include Rob Cordray, Adam Brody, Christina Arielle,
Starting point is 01:05:46 Montaigne How do you get these people? I asked them and they said yes It's that and more. Yeah, you can get tickets. Well, I've also built friendships with them over time Remind too hard sincey ticket comm slash cuss cares that's c-i-n-c-y ticket comm slash c-u-s-s-c-a-r-e-s All proceeds are going to people here in Cincinnati that are experiencing homelessness or at risk of experiencing homelessness We're also stocking some free fridges with masks and COVID tests and it's also going to be a super fun show tickets are only eight dollars It's this Friday April 1st 9 p.m. Eastern time. It will be available for two weeks video on demand after that
Starting point is 01:06:28 We're gonna ask our guests your would you rather questions? So you can tweet those at me with hashtag cuss cares and we will ask those one more time those tickets are at sinceyticket.com slash cuss cares our dad has written a children's book called Goldie's guide to grandchilding It comes out on May 10th. You can pre-order now at link tree slash Goldie's guide That's a link tr dot ee slash Goldie's guide Goldie's with the IES We've got new merch Yeah, well, I mean it's the end of the month. So we got new for March merch March merch We got a trial by Fieri sticker, which is a horrifying hot dog that looks like Guy Fieri
Starting point is 01:07:12 We've got our candle nights 2021 special video on demand you can pay what you want to watch it and all proceeds go to Harmony house And if you go to Macroy merch.com, you're gonna see a whole new look there. Go check it. It's absolutely beautiful We'll tell you more about it soon, but go check that out Thanks to Montaigne produce for a theme song my life is better with you and thanks for everything and thanks for everything Yeah, absolute absolutely Montaigne say in my life One time I was walking through a dark alley in crime alley and some thugs came and tried to steal my pearls boom
Starting point is 01:07:44 This is there's Montaigne dressed like Batman. This is a lie. She punched she like she didn't kill but she didn't tell us his line No, there's absolutely true. It happened 100% it was the dark night in Gotham The Joker was there, but it was just he and I hanging out quick impressions. We're best friends. Oh, no I'm good. Wait. No, I want to hear your Joker. We've been talking about the Joker a lot this episode So can you just do a quick do you want my Mark Hamill Joker or I would love to hear your Jared Leto? Oh, I have a really good. I have a really good Mark Hamill Joker. Okay. Okay. Well, yeah, yeah Yeah, what's something that your Joker would say he's like Mark Hamill Joker. Oh, hey Batman. Give me all your money I don't think he robs Batman
Starting point is 01:08:28 Wait, what if he knew he was super rich? I guess that's true You know the difference between you and me. I'm not wearing hockey pants That's what he said, but that's what Batman says Joker doesn't say that But Joker says it to him in a funny way where it's like it's he's written the Joker's dressed up like Batman So maybe it's just Joker ribbing him the show's over. Okay, so just just Joker ribbing Batman. Yeah, just giving him a hard time That's Did you got some dead parents much? Wow? Darn, that's actually pretty good. It was pretty good, but really dark Joker really dark
Starting point is 01:09:05 But very good, but I think even Batman would be like whoa, that's fucked up shit I'm a spoiler to say that Batman has said yeah, how does it wait? How does Joker know that Batman's parents are dead cuz he killed him? Oh, right? I'm just a McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy I'm the Joker. Oh, too scary. Too scary. Joker my brother. No This is my joke of my brother me cuz that's brother lips It's better Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.