My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 605: Could You Fight a Horse?

Episode Date: April 11, 2022

We’re talking classic movies and TV today. Films about superheroes everyone has heard of, video game sequels starring YOU the audience, and of course that iconic episode of The Office where Andy makes the journey to meet The Chronicle of Gonsolar to fix his vision but instead gets second sight, and it’s a whole thing. Classic!Suggested talking points: Too Many Jareds, Morebius, Stinky Rick’s Dirty Plates, Justam, Don’t Move that Big Fat ButtTransgender Law Center: https://transgenderlawcenter.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better It's better it's better

It's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me an advice show for the Modgen era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy, and I am Travis McElroy the spookiest I thought that Justin had pretty much planted his flag on Dracula Mountain You can't just know no one can just claim Dracula voice as their own But I bring such a sensuality to it, you know to be fair I think Griffin's claimed it for tabs and I do think now in retrospect Justin is claimed it for my brother my brother me I'm gonna claim it for till death do a sport. I'm the only

My name is Griffin McElroy and that's popcorn popcorn that can only mean one thing Let's all go to the movies. Hey, let's all go to the movies. Yeah Sonnet the hedgehog to no nope We can't we actually can't do that cuz I'm genuinely very fucking stoked But there's no reason you can't be stoked and also do a watch we don't do watches for movies that we're not sick I mean let me ask you a question Why are there no vampire movies? Why are there no superhero movies, right? Well, good news. Justin don't even fucking worry about it. You worry about me. Yeah, you do dumb ass

You don't need to worry about that shit anymore because now we got us a superhero vampire. No, not blade. Huh you silly boy No, you silly boy not blades not the day walker. Why? Checks notes Morbius, of course Morbius Morbius is here and oh man his teeth are very sharp and it is Jared Leto It is Jared Leto Jared Leto and did you know it's a odd it's a autobiography of Mr. Leto and his life and his challenges his blood disorder and the magical means he went about getting Dracula powers to fix it somebody saw Jared Leto In his turn as the Joker and said we should put that guy in more superhero movies

This is what this is what this is where it's hard for me Yeah, this is where I struggle because Jared Leto appeared in the Suicide Squad. Yeah, everyone said that that sucks That sucks. Let's give him also not only sucked on screen, but ask anyone who apparently has ever worked with him Sucked off screen. Yeah all around it. I'm not here to delve into the lives of our Hollywood stars We should be happy for whatever they give us. No, we save that Questioning beyond judgment. Oh, yeah, okay, okay, so Jared Leto is in Suicide Squad everybody's like bad job. Let's give him one more try Yeah, and then he's in Birds of Prey and it's so and and in that one

They're like we actually are gonna cut these parts out Like we're not actually not gonna use these parts because it's pretty it's pretty rough Actually, we would like you to go. Uh-huh. We've got new Joker and we'd like you to go, please Yes, and and Marvel sees this and is like well We do have one we don't really care about they called Jared and said hey Jared when God closes the door I technically this would be Sony. Yes, not not Marvel. This is Sony spider-berst Sony was browsing through the thrift shop and made themselves a pickup of Mr. Leto and they said fresh off House of Guts Get over here friend your vampire now

Thank you so much Jared so the film you're a vampire, right, what's the film I see a Good Jared Leto joke that is a good Jared Leto joke. What is more BS about you ask? It's about on it's the Sony spider-Verse and it's about a superhero who's a bit of a bad boy Bit of a loose cannon. He's out there At night doing some spooky stuff scaring the people Urges I know what you're thinking. I've heard about that one. No, this is a different one Because this one is not starring Tom Hardy. There's one starring Jared Leto, and that's the main difference. Yeah I wish it wasn't another venom movie Jared Harris is in this you remember too many Jared's well

This is Jared Harris is the is you remember him. He's a great actor from Mad Men and many other things the crown French my favorite my favorite film critic Mark Kerman said that Jared Leto has never been the best actor and now Morpheus, he's not even the best Jared nice But listen, okay. No you listen. No you listen. I'm looking at the Rotten Tomatoes page Don't here's a close. Let's not put a number on now. It's not a number. This is just an idea. No, it's not a number Given it's the Scorpius The first this is a quote from Ian Jones the further I get from it the Moritz flaws seem crippling

But I admire the spirit that Espinoza and company brought to the project which I'm convinced was nearly destroyed by a Metal some and cowardly studio. That is a positive. That is one of the positive reviews I Now we all know that he got way too method when he's playing the Joker and listen like you can judge him While you want but talk to Paul Dano and like we know how twisted that shit can get Yeah, so I'm willing to forgive that but all of Paul Danos was inside his head and made his head high Where Jared Leto's was like, I'm gonna put some fish places or whatever like yeah, yeah, I'm gonna figure out exactly I'm gonna I'm gonna kill that person's dog my co-star, but it's because I'm the Joker on its method

You didn't even let me finish my point. Okay, go ahead in this one he got method by His character has a blood disorder That gives him chronic pain and so to stay in character He would use he will walk around on crutches very slowly everywhere on set and The bathroom breaks were taking a very long time and so this is real This is a real one is an interview. I'm looking at with Daniel Espinosa the director of

Morbius in theaters now And so they put him in a wheelchair to get him around faster to the bathroom and I don't and I that's and I see Nothing wrong with that. Yeah, there's no problems with it And in fact, it's sort of excuse that away. Mr. Espinosa the director of respondents said hey, man It's people's processes. It's not though Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, hey man's Man and man, it's people's processes. So you can that's like saying like oh that guy Yeah, he's an on he works construction and every day before he builds the wall

He squishes a frog in his bare hands. He's pretty good So it's processed to build that wall with that one squished frog It's just I kind of am starting to get What people who aren't White guys are saying. Oh, okay feels like this is hold on wait This is the moment. I feel like Jared Leto is what really helped me to recognize the idea of privilege Oh, yeah, but it's something good. It's just it seems like we keep he keeps like he gets the bat And then he drops the bat and he picks it back up

Yeah, and he eats the bat and they're like someone get this guy another bat or rather Let's turn him into a bat in Morbius in theaters now. Thank you, Sony Pictures Jared Leto, this is great because there's the Venn diagram happening here of Jared Leto helping Justin realize what everyone's saying about white guys and also Helping me like lose a little bit of my strength in defending actors when people are like actors are so out of touch And they're fucking shitty and it's like no man like they're people just like us. They're stars. They're just like us They're doing it and they're like, what about Jared Leto? I'm like, well, fuck. Okay. Well, fuck Yeah, he has kept in a big white egg pod but between films where he can just dream his wonderful dreams

Jared Leto uses his acting career as an excuse to indulge in his real love being an asshole Being a big big butthole everywhere. He goes Hey, who the fuck is Morbius though? Because I know a lot of shit about comics and nerd shit I don't know this dude from Adam. Who is from black hat? You don't know him from black out from black out Who is Morbius? Well, you know Griffin how in Batman? Somebody who thought it was really funny said what if Batman fought a guy named man bat, right? Yeah, and then somebody said that's not funny It's super fucking cool. And now spider-man has one of those tunings called Morbius, but it's not man spider

No, that doesn't say that does exist though. Don't get it twisted Okay, but it but not in this one in this one He is Dracula and is there a scene where he fights this the sweet Tom Holland boy? No, this is not that he's in the venom verse Which does cross over in the multiverse, but it's not the same verse This is the Tom Holland verse God almighty. I love it. I love all this nerd shit. It's like hey guys guys And I'm talking to everybody not my brothers cuz they get they get this I get yeah Vampires the the royal guys vampires are bad. Yeah, like can we stop like yeah, do you mean they're evil or they're done?

They're evil. They kill they kill people for food This is true. This is true. This is it drives me up a wall with this Hey, what's the dad the woke culture trying to the fucking defend these vampir? Yeah, someone with the likeability and charisma of a Jared. I know what you're trying to do. Yeah, we get it We get it right. It's like it's like when they made Jim Carrey Dr. Eggman Yeah, they're trying to make me think he's very funny and silly and he's not he's the bad guy Speaking of they made that Pattinson fellow another Batman, but he didn't vamp out Once in that home. I watched it and it's three hours long

There was plenty of time in which he could have been a vampire at one point That's ridiculous. And can I tell you guys something just to sign up about Batman? Wait Travis Travis Travis you have subjected us over the last week in pre-recording times There's a special family times the only time that we really check in on each other on a personal level Telling us about how you do not like that. I don't want to hear how you don't like the Batman I know this is one thing. This is so important. Don't actually it's so important the movie Okay, well wait if we let you do this then we get we get something in the future. Yeah, this is all right I don't want you to talk about Batman and how you don't know Batman, please the Batman on the on the podcast

So like that means like in the future I'm gonna want to talk about some shit that you guys aren't gonna want to hear about But I will get to see well. No juice you'll have one to you get a good you get one too So if you want to talk about cash solitaire and how like deep in the pockets you are then you can do that And I'll find some I don't know I'll find some you know, but it has to be as short as this thing I'm about to tell you. Yeah, it feels like the preamble may have extended this bit longer The movie is three hours long and they have the gall to then also have a post credit scene That's so

How do you how do you make but you have a three-hour movie and then you're like well We couldn't squeeze this in before so now it goes It's not about it is to me Griffin They expect me to sit through the credits after a three-hour long movie to see 30 seconds when I know YouTube exists They want you to walk out with a sweet treat in your mouth off my butt Okay, well, I didn't make the decision. So I can't wait to see Morbius Why not Morpheus or Mobius when they make a second one will it be M-O-R-E-B-S? Oh, that's good. Yeah Do you it does Tom Hardy make an appearance in this one?

Cuz that would be the thing that would actually pull me into the theater if there is a Tom Hardy slash Venom cameo Yeah, I'm in because there's a moment in the trailer. I don't know if you guys saw this where They're like who's who are you and he's like I'm Venom and like scares the guy is like now. I'm just kidding It's fucking hilarious used to be we used to do jokes about the movies And now I feel like Travis is just sort of like talking movie like he's just he's just talking What jokes could you make about a vampire doctor who saves people and fights crime? My wife didn't agree with that by the way. Oh because because of The fact that he's a doctor who also does vampire stuff. Yeah. Yeah, she was so upset that

She doesn't want to see Morbius or at least I'm assuming that's three Yeah, she keeps turning me. She keeps saying no, no, no, no, no, no, not with a million Not for a million dollars not with my worst enemy's eyes. No. Yeah Because of like yeah, because because it's a doctor that hurts people Well, there is that great line in it because I did see it opening night Where he like eats someone's fucking neck meat and they die instantly and some bystanders like what about the Hippocratic oath? And he's like what about Hippocratic both of these nuts and then he bites them twice and they die from on the nuts Yeah, he bites them twice on the nuts Morbius ate my balls

Is there a specific line in the Hippocratic oath about not Vampiring people. I mean, it's pretty. I mean is it says do no harm. It's pretty. I think that that's a blanket statement That covers what if it was the only way to save their life To harm them to turn them. Oh Shit, I gotta turn them to save their life I'll give them the eternal curse, but they'll live and that's what matters Is Morbius out there making other Morbius's he's gotta be right. I know I know Sony's not All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, Jared knows you're

Getting all right See you this weekend at the birthday party for Morbius I think we love you so much Morbius. Happy birthday. It's a special day So excited about Morbius can't wait, but more excited about helping people because that's our that's our thing. Oh Elon bought Twitter by the way if I can just oh my god, okay, this is gonna be your thing No, I'm not. Okay That cuz that's been my problem with Twitter. Yeah Not enough Elon not enough people like you on

Yeah, okay I'm not on Twitter anymore Bullshit, I'm not Do you still do you passively do Twitter? Oh, no, I'm not like I'm just like not I'll dip dip in Yeah, that's what I yeah be wild not to dip in you gotta dip in I gotta find out what the celebs are doing I'm planning to propose to my long-term girlfriend on April 9th on April 8th Sonic the Hedgehog comes out in theaters How bad of an idea would it to be to see the movie with her on opening night the night before I proposed to her?

Shit, I'm does he okay Go she is resigned to the fact that she will be seeing this movie with me and wouldn't describe herself as a fan These would be on two different days But the proximity of seeing Sonic and Knuckles clash it out less than 24 hours for I have the question Mike tie the two memories together this from Eddie now listen at first blush I see where you're like, I think it's fine But now imagine it's like a decade later and people are asking the question like what was the proposal like, okay? And how like eventually

That story is going to be so the night after we saw Sonic the Hedgehog to We what you'll do is you'll do that to figure out the date, right? You'll say let's see Sonic the Hedgehog came on it to come on April 8th I remember so we got engaged in April 9th, right? This is what I'm saying So eventually it will become inextricably linked yeah to watching the two powerhouses Sonic and Knuckles The miles prowler present. Let's not rule out mr. Tails. Did you say prowler? Yeah, that's what it is No, it's miles prowler Travis. It's a pun. Are you sure it's not miles? I thought it's prowler. I know it's per hour

I know it's miles per hour and that's the joke, but I thought it was prowler Okay, well, it couldn't be less important but Yeah, I love that You know all of these considerations and there's a considerable you're right Griffin. I'm sorry. No. Yeah, I know of course I'm right um that the that the idea of watching Sonic the Hedgehog to later

Did not yeah, that is not no not an option not an option We're going opening night got to see Sonic if anything actually makes more sense to me to propose at Sonic Then to move I mean if it's gonna be linked Link it link it. How about this? Okay? How about this? Okay into Sonic the Hedgehog to I've not seen it It's not out yet, but this might be how it is Fucking dr. Robotnik dead big robot not dead kick Sonic so hard and his rings come shoot Oh, I love where this is going. I know where it's going. I love it He's like and then he sits up and like miles per hour by which I mean tails is dead and that's a spoiler

So he's like looking at his dead corpse and he's like I'm so sorry tails. I couldn't finish the fight if only I had another ring and Then he looks out at the audience Uh-huh, and you're down on one knee. It is like girth. Could you help me out? Yeah, it's Eddie It's right there in the question, but that's okay Eddie girth, and you go by girth Eddie girth. Yeah, and girth's like I got a ring But I can't give it to you Sonic because it's going to my beloved will you meet me and then Sonic's like

And then your girlfriend now fiancee has to fight dr. Robotnik Well, or you know like that's the end of the movie and in your very special screening Why won't they know what if this wasn't a special screening? Why don't they have it in more movies? Yeah In more movies there should be a special There's to be a special built-in generic proposal I Dr. Morbius the vampire. I'm going to kill you but first I think someone here has a Special question to ask and that's also going to leave it open to other things too, right? Like we don't have to just leave it like I think someone has something important to say and then it could be like I quit or

You know, I'm very sick. Yeah, everyone. Yes, your mother and I are getting a divorce Yeah, that would be dope. Why isn't that in this is this is all this is all I don't think there's any problem But I I hope I hope she's not a listener of our podcast because she now knows with one hundred percent That's okay. This won't come out until two days after then. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah. Yeah, Eddie. Let us know how it went. Yeah, I Guess maybe and Google like what's the shortest engagement in history? And call up, you know the Guinness book and all that God, I can't wait to see son. I didn't realize it was so close Henry has been asking about this fucking film Since the first trailer came out a hundred year

I mean technically he's been asking about it since the after-credits scene of Sonic 1 when Tails Miles Prower flies out of the Portal and he's like don't worry Sonic. I'm on my way and Henry's like who the fuck is that? I'm like I am way into this. Yeah, that's Sonic's best buddy and he's like What why isn't he in this movie? I was like, oh, he'll probably be in the next movie And then I was like why the fuck did I say that out loud? And then for the last what year and a half it's just been let's get there get there Why haven't they made it? Why haven't they made it yet? Tell them to hurry tell Jim Carrey to hurry hurry knuckles You're supposed to be fast Sonic. What the fuck?

Can I um, do you guys want to talk to the wizard? Yeah, I like I like we don't have to no I just I always feel so formal addressing the wizard is the wizard and I just wish we were on a first-name basis at this point Kenneth. Oh Yeah, hey, what's the frequency Kenneth? Oh, I bet he hates that fuck Yeah, and he just changed his name because he I'm a joke so bad. I believe now. He's called Morbius How to fake food poisoning Megan sent the same things Megan and food poisoning can strike at any time making this the perfect illness to

Imitate if you need to get out of work or school true Symptoms are relatively easy to impersonate including things like nausea vomiting and stomach pain as long as you set the stage fake Dealness correctly and provide proof when it is necessary Gross you should be enjoying a free day to yourself now I One one little thing there. They do only list the physical symptoms of food poisoning and not Just kind of the emotional ones of like this is gonna be forever Is this forever?

I don't remember a time where I wasn't shitting and puking and Set me up a little TV by the potty. It's like super gross. Yeah, I don't want to okay. I'll try to There is also the the Emotional responsive like all food has betrayed me. I thought you were my friend. I'll never look at food again Yeah Did I even eat this much food? Talk about stomach issues if you've had stomach issues in the past or claim to have a weak stomach try to make it more Believable when you claim to be suffering food poisoning. So this is a long con that I've been setting up

professionally for over a decade now, so like y'all know my Journey, yeah, or quote-unquote journey. Oh I'm ironclad. You're not you don't really have the delicate constitution of the boy from Secret Garden No, so when I run to the bathroom twice before like when Paul starts his announcements before a live show Yeah, I have to go run to the potty before the show even starts That's I'm actually playing with toys. I'm like fun and like doing my own stuff Yeah, like a potty leisure. Well, I'll go in the potty just so you all think that I'm being sick But really I'm not I never have I actually think it would be more convincing

To brag about your iron stomach and like how you never get sick. So then when it happens, you're like, what the fuck? What is it? Oh my god? Oh, is this how you guys feel all the time? Oh Oh, not like I think to me. That's like, oh, this is serious. He never. Yeah Invent a dicey dining situation You don't actually have to go out to eat but if you tell your but if you tell your classmates co-workers and boss You're going to eat somewhere likely to cause food poisoning. I'll make it more believable when it happens I'm going to stinky ricks dirty plates Yeah, say that before is that like setting up the the fiction. Okay

I'm so excited because they have like day old escargot over there that they sell for like 50% I cannot wait. There's just like a half inch of standing water everywhere Love it. It's a theme. That's great. You you should do that more often I like I like to go when I'm at the office All sometimes announced like god my great granddad's been like so sick lately. Wait, hold on set up the scene Are you talking to like Jim or Pam or Dwight or? The whole the whole gang is as always hanging on my every work. Okay, Andy and I had just finished our Office lottery, which has gotten us into more than a few scrapes. Okay. And was there an acapella moment between you and Andy?

Uh, yeah, I knew it. It's like B 24 we would like singing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and the engine was pissed because she doesn't like the fun Just so fucking me in the whole gang Margaret Kevin. Yeah Deschanel the Hulk Kareem Creed Creed is there, of course Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is there when he joined the office. They're hanging on my every word Yeah, I'm telling them about how my great granddad is is it very sick

And then I just sort of leave it and then when I need a break a little later. She's really sick. I deploy Yeah, that's fun. It's not but because it's a sad thing when it does You know, eventually that she's not real though. She's not real This is made up. What do you tell them that to you when you say that she's dead so they don't feel bad? No, it's okay. They won't really feel bad. That's great. And if they do sleuth it out and they'll be like Hey, I did some sleuthing and your granddad is not real and you'd be like, yeah, she got erased from the timeline Oh boy. So it's sad, but don't like feel bad about it or anything. They won't feel bad about because I'm the office bad boy Yeah, well, you didn't say that before I'm actually they think I'm too hard

To have emotions and then at the end. Yeah Pam is like Seize me. I'm like out on the dock. Yeah With daryl and some of the other guys and they leave and she sees me and I'm sitting there crying And then she falls in love with you your granddad with me instead of and instead of jim and pam jam Now it's just an impam jam Justam and you can be like She'd be like, well, I'm so sorry your grandma got erased from the timeline

You'd be like, yeah, she looked at the orb. And then I look at her like who and she's like, oh I don't know. It's so sad But then she's like I wouldn't want to have their sleep with you than jim. What are you doing? Yeah And then you'd be like, I can't do that right now. I have for christ. I have to go smash the orb Yeah And daryl's like, can I can I come too? But then he vanishes and I'm like, you're not gonna remember this There's no way to change everything. Oh fuck dude, but it's always been you Pan you kiss and no, we don't it's chased. It's a chase

Because if if I selling myself with a touch of a woman the time gods won't let me through the street Of course. Yeah basics. The orb can only be smashed by someone pure of heart and genitals Yeah, yeah The man who's never achieved an erection is the only one People give the sixth season of the office a lot of shit Yeah, because like people are like, uh, it wasn't funny anymore into after see curl after it's like, well, maybe it wasn't funny anymore But it has some stuff to say the quest They talked a lot about purity and not just like don't have sex but like no physical contact of any kind from birth

Yeah, and like That kind of like it it says a lot about the indulgences of our culture Yeah, because that one character who had never had soda or any kind of spicy foods or the touch of another human being Didn't dress up for didn't didn't recognize halloween or didn't recognize halloween or even the days of the week And like just saw time as one continuous bubble And they're the only ones who could touch the time orb. That said a lot. I think about like consumerism Yes, it means so yes. Yes. Yes. And when kevin started wearing a robe And said he couldn't work at the office anymore because he was the chronicle of gonzola, right?

Yeah, he was the only one that could protect the sacred text. Yeah, and it turned out His consciousness was in several different timelines at the same time. So it seemed distracted Yeah, and then there was that funny scene where he turned into an eagle in the office And then dwight was like trying to get him like who let this he's like who let this eagle out in the office And someone's like it's kevin don't don't get him and then jim made it It's not the kevin kevin's gone the kevin You knew yeah was a flesh prison for the true chronicle of gonzola Whose knowledge cannot be bound by your primitive paper and leather bound books

He is one of all of us and part of the eternal consciousness exactly and then jim set dwight's phone to portuguese And like yeah, it was like how do I even and it ended up ripping a hole through existence Yeah, and then and then the chronicle of gonzola pecks out andy's eyes and jim looks at the camera like rail Yeah, it's not again Yeah And he says like we always have it and everybody fucking loses it And then andy has to make the multi-year pilgrimage to the fountains of philoshuna to restore his original site Yeah, yeah, but he ends up getting second site and he can see beyond seeing and it's a whole we remember we remember

Yeah, we all remember these classic scenes from the office. I forget what we were. Oh, I was doing a wiki howl Oh, right Uh Use likely food as the scapegoat things like poultry meat fish and eggs earlier in the article It says that you like to imagine four people in their car listening to the show And then when something like that happens They start like kind of chuckling but also looking at each other like is this a reference to something that I do not That I've never heard of and no one's really

Obviously, I always think of these moments when when I picture someone saying like you got to listen to this show I've been telling you about and then they play that and they're like I don't think I do. I don't think I get it most of the time depending on the age of the person I end to say oh, it's twin peaks. Oh, yeah, like they will let that slide Earlier in the article it does say that certain foods like mexican indian and chinese have a reputation for causing stomach issues I would counter that by saying that the worst stomach issues I've ever had have been mostly because of salad That was not washed good. So it's less about the origin of the cuisine and rather the sort of Uh

Dedication of the feels like that's always happened into romaine. Like I needed an excuse to not eat salads Right, okay. Don't try what I've done before which is like I think I had some bad bourbon and admit that doesn't work That that never plays. That's nothing broadcast your illness by telling your friends and family You're not feeling well on a facebook post or tweet. It's more likely people will believe you've got food poisoning That's awesome. For instance, you might say something like i'm gonna be on the download for a day or two got food poisoning last night That's a classy way of doing it and not just like Tap tap tap 140 characters if you all could if you all even knew my butt dot dot dot dot dot It's bad y'all

Dot dot dot dot this might be the one and then you can skip work for a couple days. It has it Okay, listen, just a quick edit here. You have to say like, yeah, I'm feeling pretty bad But work comes first and you gotta make it like that school comes from and you need someone else to say to you like No, man, take care of yourself. You gotta stay home and you're like But I gotta finish those reports and it's like the reports can wait man What's important is your health and you need them to tell you to stay home. So you seem like a real trooper right Focus on symptoms difficult to verify stomach pain and nausea will be the two easiest conditions for you to imitate and the hardest to confirm

I would argue that with food poisoning anybody who wants you to verify uh-huh with pure reviewed evidence is Out of their fucking gourd or a boss at a business where you should not be working if they're like, oh, man My dye dye is so bad and then they'll be like show me the dye dye You know, you can't work at that business anymore. Show me the dye dye. Do you guys remember that scene from the From the jerry maguire. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's fucking funny

I don't want to talk about movies anymore. You know, okay Keep your so much and we did keep your sick call short when you're sick The last thing you want to do is make small talk over the phone This is actually a good point. If you like try to over explain it Um, then they're gonna know that something is wrong. Yeah, so you just want to hit him with like a Derek I can't click and then like they'll be like, hey, where's jeremy today? Like I got a weird whiz for your ghost phone call earlier. I didn't even do it

It's great if you have someone else in the house. I used to have dad Calling to work sick for me a confederate The best vibe like listen my son, it's me radios clip acroy the voice you can trust Doesn't shit miss fans bud Can't do it today. Can't sell can't sell netflix subscriptions So it when you came back to work. I'm so worried about my boy. Please no question much When they went back to work, did you ever get was your boss ever like don't make your fucking dad Call us anymore. I don't want it. I don't want that pressure on me to speak to radios clint macaroy

I get star struck. It's not fair. The power dynamics are off the star struck is and I promise I say like listen Never again. Don't worry. Oh my god. He called you. I'm so embarrassed guy. He just loves me so much I was just gonna shit at home and not call you because I'm kind of the office bad boys, you know ask andy Return to work under the weather. This is the most important step in this whole article Is that you do come back like a hero like a champion? Yeah, you should still be home. Are you kidding? This is what I'm saying. No, okay. No wait. No, no, no, no. So they're saying Okay, so you're faking. We're faking right now, right? We're faking. Oh, that's the point. Okay. Sorry. Go on. Okay So we're faking right now that it we're so nervous about this fucking drag net being pulled up around us

That we're keeping our phone conversations short But I'm supposed to go in and give a fking richard the third style like full physicality performance of me soldiering through my Food food poisoning. Is that what they're suggesting? But if you pull a bueller on april eighth And then you come back think I'll see sonic Thank you traves for the joke that I was going to do. Oh no, you just sort of saw you like get me get me Well, I didn't know you were heading there cuz I'm back April 9th, and you're hailing hearty. They'll be like Sonic, right?

Sonic cured you is an interesting angle. That's not the one I was Not the one I was intending. I figure you're in man. What's your secret? I went I did honestly shit myself silly went soul Sonic never felt better Saw Morbius on the 7th nearly fucking killed me Sonic 2 and the 8th Brought me raised me right back brought me back man one true one true sonic. Yeah I've heard of two different critics by the way both David Sims and Mark Kermode tweeted that they saw Morbius and then met some physical calamity

Kermode had a toothache and David Sims said he has summer gay actress it both tweeted about this after seeing Morpheus It is hurting people It's too far. It's not funny. It's hurting. It's hurting people the movie is bad. It's hurting people now Here's what you have to wonder though. Uh-huh if if Jared Leto had agreed to participate in batman in the Camel Knights like Ben Schwartz did Yeah, have different things to say. No, you're right indoors. You'll never know sliding doors. Thank you So let's roleplay this and just now I want you to pin the email to Jared fucking Leto Asking him to please do a bit on Camel Knights this special episode dear Jared Dearest dearest Jared. Perfect. It's

Justin McRoy. I do a podcast. I know that you are a bad person, but I hope that Even though you're a bad person you would be in Camel Knights, which is a charity event Famous love that shit and you can be The Joker in it or Morbius, but please don't be Jared Leto again. I've heard a lot of different stuff You could play music from your Mars Mars attacks your band. Yeah, that's fine But please just Just don't be yourself. You could be Jeremy cool or whatever your character's name was in my so-called life

I think it was Jeremy cool or perhaps Slater cool You can be Stanley Gucci if you want it doesn't matter a gucci if you would like to sir Uncle Gucci Was that it? I think he was Uncle Gucci. I think he was maybe uncle. Did I ever tell you guys? Gus my baby's favorite toy Slash food in the house is the Apple TV remote, which is not great I want time He was just too chomping away on it and his spit and saliva like got in it and that makes that terrible remote do strange things Like move around on its own like scrolling through a video if you're trying to watch it anyway through a

Various like a string of chomps chews and slobbers. He did purchase house of Gucci For like for like 20 Not rented like perch like when I go and look at the movies we've purchased which is largely like you know Sonic the Hedgehog one other shit that Henry is into so we can have just instant access to that shit Now we have gaga and we have leto Just waiting to spring it like it's today the day Griffin. No today's not the day Jared and gaga today. I will not be watching guchy. Thank you very much muchy

Can we go to the money's home? Yeah. Yeah, let's go. I need to I need to make up that $20 I Guys, I'm sorry. I don't want to talk about Bombas. I don't okay. I don't can I tell you what I want to talk about Yeah, I want to talk about soft seamless tagless and luxuriously cozy feeling clothes You then you're talking about Bombas wait really? Yeah, everything they make is soft seamless tagless and has a luxuriously Cozy feel I'm wearing their socks right now. I love wearing their socks. I'm excited because I have more of the short ones the short socks and

No shows I guess you'd call them. Yeah, and I'm about to make the switch This weekend probably Saturday or Sunday depending on the weather. I'm about to take my Tote bag full of short socks. Yeah, and dump them into the drawer Excited the long socks in the tote bag. That's how you knew that spring is true with a young man socks turn Yeah, no shows, but I don't want to talk about Bombas I want to talk about a company who has a simple mission That works to make the most comfortable clothes ever and then match every item sold with an equal item donated A company that when you buy from them, you know, you're also giving to someone in need, right? Do we yeah?

That's a great try to grab this. That's Bombas. You're talking so embarrassing. What? Yeah Yeah, Travis. Trust me. Go to Bombas.com slash my brother and get 20% off your first purchase. That's B. O. M. B. A. S. Are you writing this down? Yeah, B. O. M. B. A. S. Dot com slash my brother for 20% off Bombas.com slash my brother. Okay, but one last thing I want to talk about a company that sells really super bulky underwear That's really uncomfortable and itchy and like sandpaper on your loins and like just just so like it's so obvious that it's there Then you're talking about the competition brand. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I just love big bulky itchy underpants That's a bear. I know how you can get some of those brought to your home. Yeah. Oh big bulky itchy underpants Griffin kick it for one more time. What you heard me draw some knowledge on this fool

No, but what did you just do because you were like, I know someone who can help out with that Well, I was setting you up as I flicked the foosball in the air and now you just have to slide it over the net That is well illegal. That's an illegal maneuver, Justin No, you actually I you Hiked it too much crank in my spank and the foosball Flipping the dang air talked about this Justin. That's gonna get us to qualify disqualified at regionals It's a valid tactic. It is not a valid. Maybe all the streets. Maybe when you're playing You're doing a lot of foos man. We're playing by the rules here. It's a league game

Twirl up you curl up your wrist put a bunch of fucking crank in your spare We don't play that way knock that ball clean into the air listen I know you can blow on it to adjust the trajectory. You're the bad boy The bad boy of foosball just and I know that but we've talked about this. That's gonna get us disqualified We're never gonna get that prize money to save the rec center Door dashes listening to this right now and they're like Part of the fucking ad cuz these boys are wild started yet cuz it's a long Was that in there as the must-be-read verbatim part was that yeah, it says I was

It says here ad lib foosball skit, so you guys did that And I'll tell you about door dash, which is the thing I use several times a week at this point to get delicious dinners and lunches and breakfasts is sent to my house, but more often than not is to get you know Medicines and an onion sent to my house because every time I go to the store I always forget onion because I just assume we have them at home and we never do because we can also send an onion To someone else's house as a threat. No, I don't know that door. I don't know that door dash would want us to say that Oh, that's probably a good point. Hey time out on the door dash ad

Come on and say that Travis is a joker is is a Jared Leto's Joker actually I got I got fucking door dash last night got El Ranchito brought me that quesadilla. Oh my goodness Oh my god shit. Well, how do they have that? What I'm just surprised that they have that they have everything on door dash all my local all my favorite local haunts are there including El Ranchito Do they have flat-jack itself in its windowed as the party after the pandemic? Yeah, I was wondering where that was gonna be that's popping off at El Ranchito Do they have flat jacks to napas on door jacks napas is now the faux place that didn't close Is that what it's called?

But flat flap jacks to napas is dead and gone flap jacks to napas is dead and gone It was replaced by fo you and me to compete with The other faux place that you time has a race that's gone in the time or because it will have a noodle house chicken and I think of that one was called all right for a limited time our listeners can get 25 wait You're paying for this again door dash time in time in for a limited time I listen to get 25% off and zero delivery fees on their first order of $15 or more when you download the door dash app and Intercode my bambam That's 25% off up to a $10 value and zero delivery fees on your first order when you download the door dash app in the app store and

Intercode mb mb a m don't forget that's code my bambam for 25% off with your first order with door dash subject to change terms apply Max fun drive is just around the corner 2022 Starting April 25th It's the best time of the year to support your favorite shows by becoming a max fun member or upgrading your membership in just two weeks We've got some great episodes and amazing. Thank you gifts in store and who knows Maybe a few surprises don't forget bonus content So make sure to tune in starting Monday April 25th to get all the juicy details on what each show has in store

Look, it's a rough world out there Especially lately. I get it. So let's take care of our minds as best we can I'm John Moe host of a depressed mode with John Moe every week I talk with comedians actors writers musicians doctors therapists and everyday folks about the obstacles that our world and our brains Throw in front of us depression anxiety traumatic stress all those mental health Challenges that are way more common and more treatable than you might think the first time I went to therapy I was so ashamed and I was like can't believe I gotta go in there Like I thought I could be a man and comfy book. I was never in therapy and then my dad said yeah

But he smoked a carton of cigarettes a day Give your mind a break give yourself a break and join me for depressed mode with John Moe Have another question, okay, yeah do it for the past six months or so I've been playing wiggle by Jason Derulo featuring stoop dog for my district manager Whenever he comes in the store, I of course just wanted to hit you guys with the samples so we all know we're talking about here It seems okay So you get the idea No, I need more how much yeah, really play to to the millisecond

Let's play as much of Jason Derulo on our podcast as we are legally allowed to do Just a little bit. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. We're past it. We're past it Okay, oh man, I'm dugging like crazy over here. Yeah, I wish you guys could see my duggy So you'd know what to do with that big fat button. Yeah wiggle It's pretty explicitly clear. It's very explicitly clear wiggle wiggle. I In fact, mr. Derulo if you're listening you probably could have left a slightly longer pause for me to answer Because you asked me a question and then you answered your own question rude Yeah, because I I'm still really for the fact that you said I have a big fat

But and I don't even know what to do with the right and I know you probably meant it in a complementary way But I was not ready for that and that's not how I like to think about my own But this is a workplace. Anyway, the initial intent was to get into wiggle wiggle just a little bit. Yeah, obviously Yeah, that's right there Now I would settle for him just acknowledging that the song exists because it's escalated to be playing the song on repeat Every time he visits and he has not said a single word about it Yeah, the biggest problem is that it's an awful song. What what? Did you I don't think you are listening

Look, are we talking about the same song? Oh, I'll turn my bluetooth off, but you get it This we are so far past fair use now. This is our most expensive. Okay, so I was just buying the ringtone on my phone So I go on Man, it I think a good ringtone would start right at you know what to do with that big shot. Yeah, let's see. Hold on Let's see what I don't know. No, no, no Yep, and then it wouldn't tell you good. I'm very tempted. I'm sorely tempted. Oh, I just did it Okay, that's me or fall. Okay. Got it. I'll keep wings of love. Uh, okay

Um, how much wiggling is too? When should I cut my losses? How much wiggling is too much? That's from done with the Rulo and Denver um You run the risk of it being sorry go on you started to do a prank, right and you wanted to It says here. I don't think this part got read Uh, the biggest problem is it's an awful song and I have to listen to it every time and the whole store is developed To Pavlovian response to him coming in so basically the premise of this question is I tried to do a prank But I was the pranky doodle dandy. Yes, and

Now should I stop doing this thing that I don't like I would I would push back against the terminology of prank to say like a fun Interaction because it doesn't seem like there's no prank here I played a song and I thought it would be funny if I played it and you wiggled I mean a skit a bit. Yeah a bit a bit. Well, we'll call it a bit. It's a bit. It's fine. It doesn't matter I think prank implies even a small modicum of like, uh, cruelty It's small

Well, I mean when we did pranky doodle dandy um and I told I told lin that he could have bathed these nuts and that wasn't that was coming from a place of like love and fun And I think that you can I think that you can do a fun prank And I feel like this is definitely in that pain no one's getting hurt here except you it sounds like because you really don't like The song which is weird to me because it beats ass It one thing is the song whips ass. So let's start there. The second thing is like

The you your boss beat you You know, I mean you gotta get you lost you lost. Yeah, you lose sir. Yeah good day. You lost You tried to prank him He made you play the song that you don't like so many times every time he enters the room and just by entering the room You have to play the song you hate you he he reversed it on you. Yeah, you got reversed That's tough. Sorry That's tough Sometimes you can't this is the term cut your losses is literally for this very

Because the thing is is like you're not going to regain like how much we're going too much well apparently negative like Because I have been in this position before and I guarantee you Every time your district manager has come on you play this you have scrutinized Them hips to see if there's even a little wiggle. Yeah, so that you could claim victory And just to take your failure one step further Um There's no way your district manager didn't realize what was happening the first time you did it They realized what was happening and they did not give you the satisfaction

Of a response you have been so thoroughly Bested that it's time for you to start to stop this one unless you secretly do like the song and that's fine Be proud of it. It's beats ass Um, but you need to start working on some new material knowing now your your district manager's steely resolve To not at least be like what is this? Bob, this is so good. Right to just not even acknowledge it is actually some next level shit You could write your own song That's like, you know what to do with that big fat, but don't wiggle stay still

That's right like that. Don't acknowledge me. Keep going. Oh, you're cutting places Oh, you're here to lay off a bunch of people Oh The company is oh, we're facing extreme hardship. Oh, okay. Oh, it's a it's a branch closing Okay, with that big fat, but and like See how that goes What if the original song did go, you know what to do with that big fat, but manage the district? Encourage employees record highs

profit and loss statements Um, should we do another question? Is there uh, I actually have a submission here. This is not. Oh kick ass Yeah, it's just like from from meeps Uh, who emailed uh this quora Discussion I've I've wanted to elevate the the discourse in our show a little bit more so elevate in the discourse uh meeps Got surfaced a question on quora

That was just that the meeps could only see the question. Okay. The question was could you fight a horse? Could you fight a horse meeps had to make a an account? Oh boy quora And to to see the answers and meeps was right to do this Um because now meeps shared the answers with me And only a few people weighed weighed in on this. Um, so I just wanted to um Just wanted to share their answers with you very quick. All right. Yeah. Is that is that okay? Yeah, good. Okay So, um, and and you tell me who you think this is the the question that I want to pose to you guys after you I read these and I'll try to truncate them because someone really get into the weeds

But um, I just want you to tell me who knows the most about horses. Okay Fight a horse is a jaden fight a horse. Well, now if you're talking about fighting a fucking wild horse while you're on its back Heck, yeah, I've done it many times so far Sure, I've gotten thrown Trampled and broken a bone from being bucked, but that's probably the experience of breaking a horse Or being a rodeo. Now if you're not on the horse's back and you're fighting them Sure, you could find a horse from the ground. It's kind of like wrangling a horse. All you need is rope I've ripped a few horses from the ground. It was very hard the rearing bucking moving made it harder

Plus it hurts if you get kicked. Yeah Yeah, that's sort of the main reason people aren't out there fighting horses And it kind of seems like the horse was whipping your ass Right, but if you had no rope you could still win I've tried this many times. It took experience trying Don't run off and try this so I have a wild bucking untamed horse running around in a pen I'm standing in the middle. First I put my arms up where any charges at me I put them into a t-shape and act like a fence. Oh good start

Oh I put my arms into a t-shape and act like a fence and don't move They will stop unless you shit get out and move awesome. Is that how can you guarantee can you guarantee that? After they stop they may rear and buck but clap your hands together and make them run around the pen clap Stop whatever to make the horse run. I didn't realize when you say break you meant like their mind because a fence just clapted them Right when it's just like I gotta fucking stop. There's a fence Once he's running around and tries to come back to you Keep him out there until he lowers his head or licks his lips in a sign of submission

Hold on then let him come to you. You have one. How does he like his lips though? That would be different. There's different ways to lick one's lips to show submission versus life. All right. Fuck. Let's do this I'm gonna kill Bob. Come on, bud. Let them come to you. You have one He wants to join your herd because you seem like unless he's spacing it. I could find a horse Oh, man, that's a good question. That's a good question. Now. I have another answer here This from kata, you can find anything Well, that said a horse is much stronger and much quicker than a human if a horse were really determined to kill you You would be physically unable to do anything except perhaps climate fears. Yes

And that only if you're really quick about it. Now, this is actually I love a good pedantic answer because It doesn't say could you win in a fight against a horse? But somebody could you find a horse? Yes It's also not like Can you kill a horse? You know what I mean? Like if you're getting a fight with a person most of the time You're not like so I can kill them. Right. Sorry kata kata continues. Oh, yeah, we have one really important advantage Oh Guys, what would you guess weapons really important opposable weapons? Opposable thumbs. Okay. No the ability of abstract thoughts. Oh, of course the take for example a round pin

It is a round space some 12 or 16 meters in diameter Once the exercises are done with a wild horse is to make him run circles around you That makes the horse see for himself that you are faster. However fast they run you can still come in front of them This has a profound effect on the horse's mind. Whoa Wow, okay, the horses are so wicked stoop Is what you're saying they don't understand Things moving through physical space

Okay There's one last answer. I just want to just just tack on here from Raymond Can a human successfully fight a fist fight a horse? Well, I raised horses My grandfather captured wild horses and domesticated them for sale. Okay One previous answer mentioned a horse will most likely run away. This is true That one that doesn't It will end you. Huh. Whoa. Holy shit. Wow

They're likely to outweigh you five times or six times as mentioned in another answer Their teeth will leave gaping wounds in your flesh. Holy shit Their preferred method is to charge you bold you over rear up and trample you your only defense is to run If you're in a coral and try to box a horse probably corral just just in just real quick probably a corral I read the word that was written here. Okay horse expert If you're in a coral and you try to box a horse that wanted to end you one of two things that happened You would be so busted up. You would wish for death or your friends and family would be attending your wake Horses are intelligent mountains of muscle. Whoa, that's to respect them now

Yeah, if you go in there boxing with the queensberry rules. Yes. He got going here do some street fight Right. You got you got to do astra You were throwing sand your you know bobbing and weaving and tucking and rolling. You know what I mean And I can't tell you guys my problem with this question They're only thinking about it quite literally could you fight a horse? But I would add in a couple words there. Could you bring yourself to fight a horse? Oh, right. You walk up there and you're like, all right, let's do this I I feel terrible. You broke your leg. I gotta put you down

But I'm gonna do it because I love you so much with these two hands Right. I'm not gonna use some highfalutin gun I'm gonna do it with these two hands and you roll, but then you look them in the eye and you're like, god damn Don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like that fight back Just fight back, please Uh, thanks so much for listening to our podcast We hope you have enjoyed yourself today and you have fun and we're so happy to have you as always. Thank you Your time is the greatest gift you give us. So thanks

Oh, wow, that was just really sincere. I was taking it back. That's it. Yeah, I thought I was gonna go longer But here's another sincere thing. Sincerely check out the 20 rendezvous fancy takes flight tour Tickets for all shows are on sale now at bit.ly Slash macaroy tours Uh, it's gonna be listen. It's gonna be what it's gonna be. We haven't been on tour in a while. We have it It's uh Listen, the rust might make it more fun or it might be fun to watch us totally beef it on stage But at the very least we'll be dressed up fancy and you can dress up fancy too and yeah, try if you want to dress up fancy

I think that'd be a fun Fun vibe. I think I'm gonna go. I think I'm gonna go get a tux. Oh, yeah Yeah, I think I'm gonna go get some tux Okay, well, let's come up nothing Uh, we're gonna be next week. We're gonna be in st. Louis the week for I'm sorry. Next week in st. Louis. Who's gonna feed my fish? 420

That's gonna be my brother my brother me with wonderful Uh, Kansas city the next night the 21st. That's mabin bam with schmanners and then minneapolis on the 22nd And I'll just be mabin bam no sol bones. Unfortunately Uh, this is going to be my brother my brother just us. Sorry guys. So just us, but it'll be raunchy Extra raunchy and uh then on april 23rd the next night there is a taz show You can find tickets to all those bit. I know y4 slash mackle roy tours It's going to be fun and fancy And we're really looking forward to getting back out there and if you if you if you could come

It would just really god. That'd be great. Yeah, but it'd be really cool Uh, because if people don't come they don't let us do them anymore They let us do them but we have to do them at like 4h fairs and like, you know The we have to like a um vfw's and stuff like that. Yeah So, you know, and yeah, so come to the show. We've got a bunch of them. You can find them all there including a virtual show In may so don't miss that. Um, it is important to note mask and proof of full vaccination or negative covid tests within 72 hours of event start Is required. Uh, so make sure that you have that

Uh, taz game expansion pack available for pre-order. That's right. If you have our taz board game from together studios We've got 70 new cards over 70 new cards You can pre-order that at together studios. That's t w o together studios dot com Also available for pre-order is a set of the five taz 20 sided dice. That's uh, you know, the dice with like one through six Three times on, you know, you use them in the game. It's got the bureau of balance logo on them It's really beautiful. We got the taz bureau of balance dice bank. Uh, so go check that out together studios dot com And dad has written a children's book called goldie's guide to grandchilding. It comes out on may 10th You can pre-order that now at link tree slash goldie's guide

Uh, and then make sure you check out our merch store at macroi merch dot com We got a I think personally very cute schmander's poster over there We restocked the taz dice and 10 of all merch proceeds this month go to the transgender law center So check that out at macroi merch dot com Thank you to montane for these for our theme song. My life is better with you Uh, it's a bopper and a showstopper and a soccer bopper a soccer bopper and it raps call the copters and um Yeah, thanks to maximum fun for having us on the network. Uh,

That's good bring us bring us home. Okay. Um, no, what do you mean? Uh, I want to hear a celebrity impression. Okay. Yeah, tell me who and I'll do it. See you boo shimmy Ah Get back here Ha ha ha classic Wait, it's just my Travis McRoy. I'm griffin McElroy. It's been my brother. My brother. He hits your head Classic Oh

Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported