My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 614: Bigfoot Historical Site

Episode Date: June 13, 2022

We’ve been struck by a terrifying possibility: what if we’re all just pretending to think? Does that mean that we don’t really exist? How do you know the difference between actually thinking and only acting like you’re thinking? Who knew acting like a Furby could cause this much existential dread.Suggested talking points: Dino Park, Jujubee, Electronic Flour Bag, Building a Mystery, Bugs VizierFairness West Virginia: https://fairnesswv.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up you cool, baby? Precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better

It's better it's better It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me an advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-est brother Travis McElroy. I'm a sweet baby brother Griffin McElroy Oh my god guys guys guys what what what is it trap? I Listen if there's one thing I know about the two of you It's that you're always looking for a good investment And I hope you guys are ready to get in on the ground floor because I've got a really exciting opportunity for you guys

So much money, and I want to make it. I want to turn it into more money by doing no work Yeah, so happy to hear that so I was approached by some scientists and they're looking for investors They are going to open. What kind of scientists? Oh Like really really smart. They have like lab coats and what's their light? But what's their like field? Let's say genetics Very promising very promising. They're planning to open up a experience park and They will be

Bringing back and you guys aren't gonna believe this Dinosaurs Dinosaurs and they are looking for investors to help fund this park and this thing Oh my god guys, it's gonna be a huge hit. Yeah, the return on investment is all but guaranteed So can I can they will they name a stagum source after me if I give them like a hundred bucks? They are looking for a little bit more than that. I They're looking in the range of like mmm, and this is this is gonna pucker you up a bit, but like five million dollars Okay, the five million be going towards yeah

Making dinosaurs and feeding the dinosaurs and building walls for the dinosaurs I could probably make you a dinosaur for like ten ten large Well 10 G's I mean maybe split it three ways, but listen guys listen I know I know that that kind of number is very big But once this park opens and everybody starts going to it. We're gonna make so much money back Okay, I'm gonna I hate to put you on the spot. Okay, but you are now the official representative representative of the park understandable. Yeah, okay What if we bring them back

They're a danger and I think this is and this is my question. Okay, if we bring them back Oh, is there not a danger? That they will sort of run. I Mean, I don't want to be offensive. I know PC culture, but kind of run wild on Humanity. Oh, oh did you miss where I said we would be building walls. There would be big kick-ass walls We'd have walls that's and the other thing chooses the reason the caveman's got pwned They didn't have our bazookas yeah, okay our

Electricity weapons Dinosaurs hate those so I'm not worried so much about that. I'm more worried about that dinosaurs are not sexy So I guess could we could we give them like? big boobies big jugs Weeners and that's already part. Yeah, that's definitely part of it limit our audience No, no, I don't think so. I think because we'll have we'll have a little bit of something for everyone Yeah, not all that not all the dinosaurs are gonna have big juicy jugs and like we can't do that to a terror terror Territorical because it would fall out of the sky. You got to balance that but like and so it's like some t-rex

Yes, we'll have being juicy change big big beautiful Right, yeah, let's let's go up depends on how much we invest let's pivot Here's me at the dinosaur park where's t-rex over there. Oh, that was pretty cool. Wow. Damn. That's a good t-rex Well time to go home. How are you gonna make it sticky? Right, right, right Well, we're planning to have a couple restaurants that will then serve chopped up dinosaurs Oh

Okay, yeah, but they will have dinosaur steaks so you can find out what the dinosaurs tasted like, you know what I mean That's actually if I'm gonna be honest. That's kind of the primary focus of The park at this point. Yeah, we will be churning these dinosaurs out at a rate That to keep up with a hunger basically Okay, and that can be like our NFTs, which is which is new food pterodactyl exactly Also at this this this one's kind of important We're gonna make the dinosaurs bigger and bigger and bigger but also

Yeah, and this is my innovation that I kind of gave to them some of them smaller and smaller and smaller That could be cool What if we made the small dinosaurs big and the big dinosaurs small and then we'd like let everybody see them Get revenge on like a tiny little t-rex that they could just kind of stomp around You know we you touched on this briefly, Trev, but I do think the possibilities of eating the dinosaurs is massive Thank you. Um, I think that if we're breeding them already. We're creating them with you know, big beautiful juicy jugs That's already I'm actually gonna put a I'm gonna put a Limit on that I'm talking about that and it the limit was two times ago

Okay, so that's off the table, but we are still talking about eating these gorgeous Well, yeah, and I'll tell you this guys these geneticists have made some serious breakthrough They said that they can breathe these dinosaurs with inherent teriyaki flavor. Okay, it's just right in there DNA as their worry is the dino DNA, please It is there a worry is there a concern that that will make them too delicious to their compatriots now If I'm struggling I'm waiting for my next bucket of sheep's lop and I am and Craig starts smelling real good A lot of umami waftin off the crag. Yeah, I might have to go in for a taste now Justin I'm thank you for asking the scientists did say that it will not make them more violent towards each other

But the teriyaki does get in their brains and just make them more violent in general more aggressive So there will be they will be delicious and angry, but I we don't see that as a problem Also, it will increase their vertical leap tenfold. Yeah, but we just gotta be that much walls. Yeah How would they know that they could jump that high right like they won't know are you telling me the secret is that they have to believe in themselves? Well, Justin, I mean that's not scientific, but yes, we'll have a tinder dactyl. We'll have a stochosaurus There's a lot of opportunities here that I really try tip Sarah tops is another great option for when they do cut cut up and eat these Yeah, perfect and Scene thank you so much for joining us on t-bone Rex on this

Sponsored episode. I don't know if you guys are excited, but all two hours and 26 minutes a drastic world dominion Is coming my way This evening at the local multiplex. Are you excited to get a seat for this this this ride? I I will say Justin the thing In the movie what they resurrect dinosaurs But what the movie resurrects in my heart is hope and let me tell you why Justin and maybe Resurrects not the right word because it doesn't make it seem like some kind of dinosaur Jesus, but For me Justin. Yeah, I just can't wait to see how they once again are surprised that dinosaurs are running amok

Right, you'd think after a while after six of these ding-ding things, right? We get to the point where they'd be like Oh, what's that? Yeah, we're fucked man. Yeah Invented some sort of dinosaur poison certainly at this thing. Thank you. They are just animals and what do humans excel at? If not poisoning the animals. Yeah, unlike other I was inspired to take on another sponsored episode because I was I was listening to our Macquarie family for an hour sure sponsored by 15 don't need to say the name of the branch is they don't well They already I mean they're a dear friend a dear friend of the brand of our brand as a brand partnership And I really miss doing those but people aren't exactly the line. You know, there's a lot of other podcasts out there Yeah, these days, so this one is kind of on spec in that yes, I feel like Universal should just donate whatever

They feel is fair to us. Oh Interesting, yeah, so like we'll do the we'll do the episode, right and then hope that they hear it I guess that I don't know how to reach them. Yeah Yeah, and then they'll sort of like pay us whatever they think is fair for this branded content. It's on spec Well, what we're done if you guys want I can like put this onto like a CD our disc and like send it to Sam Neal Can you get this to somebody? It's so cool that you know how to do that. Yeah, thank you. I Tried I can't get my computer to do it. I put CDs in my computer and it just starts playing the songs on them Oh, no, no, no, no, you got to have a burner

Can I tell you guys something great? What? This is great is I want to keep it on Jurassic Park just for a little bit Jurassic World Justin, please Jurassic World Dominion huge opening Is what we're trying to get them going that long people heard this flick listen people are sick of dinosaurs But we're gonna bring it back. You're welcome. Just like they brought back the dinosaurs got a story from the Hollywood reporter here for you You know Sam Neal's back for this one. Oh, yeah, my buddy. Yeah, your buddy Sam Neal is back for this one Get not the team back Alan Grant Ellie Sattler. Sure the whole team Shkronk you remember you guys remember Shkronk the big one the caveman they resurrected to help him kill all the dinosaurs and I think it was

Three that was in three. Yeah Because that guy parachuted into the pterodactyl enclosure and saw a frozen caveman in the wall And then he like landed over there and then he like held the lighter up to the ice for a while It was Vince Vaughn and he was getting pecked apart by the pterodactyls But then Shkronk broke out of the ice and he was like I'm your granddad No, actually, I believe Vince Vaughn played Shkronk in this one because Yeah, I called Dibs. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Okay. So you guys remember in the first Jurassic Park One of the first ones they see is that Brachiosaurus and they're like yeah, man

I'm nutting out like yeah, they're fucking losing nuts in his pants and he's like You know, he's like so yeah classic that I thought that by the way I thought the sound effect they used was a little over the top but go on yeah So Hollywood reporter is interviewing Sam Neal and press junk it for this film In 20 and this is the story says in 2018 Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom the fifth installment in the Jurassic franchise the beloved Brachiosaurus from the 1993 film Parished as a result of a volcanic eruption on Issa Nublar and Neal

until now Meaning in the interview was unaware that it was the same Brachiosaurus that had bold Grant and Sattler over in 1993 so here's the Quote from Sam. I didn't know it was the same one. Well, that is heartbreaking Such a sweet creature Sam You tender hearted soul What

Wait, hold on stop the interview stop the interview what what it was the same one. What are you talking about? No, someone would have told me I got I I've hold on I've got to call somebody about this any confirmation Sam also, I didn't know is it how are we supposed to know that? Yes, it's a tattoo And it's kind of like play break did have a Dino tattoo from Flint Flintstones. Yeah Hey, did you guys ever put together that Dino is also like spelled like dino don't insult My intelligence and the intelligence of our many listeners because it's like he's it's so I can't wait to see this one I did miss the last one of them and the one before that and so I am wondering if I if there will be certain things

Nah that I will okay. Well my only exposure is that sometimes we go to the dinosaur park here in Austin and it is a purely These things are dead as disco. These are decorative dino's only But they do have toys there from the JP franchise and it's like watch as he shares a psychic link Via Bluetooth connection with blue the velociraptor and it's like whoa There's definitely some hot losing. Yeah, I would say in the first and second we're There is okay guys There's a moment in the first one

Where what they've done here and I find this quite interesting as a choice is they've said People are getting fucking bored with time. They've seen dinosaurs So what we're going to do is invent our own dinosaur gonna make a different dinosaur Okay, and it it what it does is events a world in which after like a decade or so everyone's like dinosaurs fucking seen I thought yeah, dude, I get it It doesn't invent that world Travis it it observes the current world because if you don't think that would happen You're not paying attention, man. Yes This is paying attention, man, and you know what nobody else is either. So let's do some advice questions

Okay, yeah, and I think that that's what America needs right now Now we didn't plan this spec episode by the way in time to request Dinosaur-themed questions, so I just pulled the questions that I thought We could maybe we could we could somehow tie it in yeah, that's part that's so tasteful Thank you. Yeah, a lot of people are so sweaty in these in these sponsored things And they're like so desperate to like say the brand over and over again You know me and we may as well. We may not mention We might not mention it again, right? This year. I'm gonna be working at a camp for most of the summer

I'm super excited and this will be fine except my birthday is also in the summer I will be turning 17 if you were curious. I was I am not a big birthday person in general preferring to do something smaller with my friends and I do not want to celebrate my birthday with people I don't know well the issue is I have some friends that are also working there I'm not sure if they know when my birthday is I don't want to tell them the other staff But I also don't ask them directly in case they don't know and then slip up later, but brothers. What should I do? Hmm. Yeah, or you guys see the catch here, right? You guys see the problem, right? Distill it for me. Dr. Grant if you go to your friends and say like hey

Do you are you guys like do you know where my birthday is? Right like so loaded. Absolutely That's what I'm saying that to any human being ever in your life. You cannot cannot be done Because just by introducing that right there is no like if they're like no Why and you're like don't worry about it. So sad. Oh god. That would be so brutal. Oh Right this one is actually tough a lot of these are easy, but this one's tough because what if they like what if you walk in to the egg Hall And they have all of the kids with special powers

Assuming that's the kind of camp it is. Yeah, why else would anyone go to camp talents and gifts that they have to be? Honing like what if you go into the egg hall and they're like Singing you're like they they're like here. They are and then they sing happy birthday to you Or you're like right in the middle of like running like you know a training exercise in the danger room And then they're like what's this? Oh, no, it's the birthday cake monster and you're like, oh, no, man This is so unfair thing and in front of Wolverine. Oh Well, yeah, I don't think it's X-Men. That's a that's a comic. That's like a cartoon Well, it's also a good point given because there's a school and not a camp. Yeah, so that's a good point because like they're not working

Do you think Do you think professor Charles Xavier school for gifted children? You think they had like Field trips to Heinrich's like oh, yeah Got to go to cosine and do all the things like did they get to go to King's Island? And today we're gonna go to the dairy farm to figure out how you milk cows. Exactly I can shoot like spikes out of my hands Shut up we're milking the cows so they'll make all the milk come out Do you think that professor Charles Xavier school for gifted children that they have like algebra? I

Mean interesting like what I don't you have to cut something. Yeah, I don't have time for the danger room and one It's got to be home economics though like you know those kids, you know ice man walks out with his fucking diploma And they're like, okay, that'll be $1,500 for the diploma and your robes and we will take a check and he's like I do not know how to Do a check But this one is why that there is a teacher there He gets a small rip in his costume

You see I just show me get into a trash. Yeah, I don't know what to do with nothing to be done for it I'm sorry. I need a new where do you get more of these but that implies there's nothing to be done There's a moment as a teacher's lounge, right where it's just like here's y'all Emma frost and she's like yesterday We taught the students how to you know fight the sentinels or whatever and then like there's like, you know Teacher mister like Stevens who's like yeah, and I got this kid is not doing great in math But what did you say about sentinels? What's your class? Yeah, that sounds good Do you think it's just sitting in the audience at Hamilton like this is fucking what what kind of twisted my thought about these crazy characters Did you say jiu-jitsu?

I'm pretty sure I said jiu-jitsu believe I don't think I said jiu-jitsu. It's funny I'm a professor of savior school for gifted children. Thank you. Did they get like Christmas break? I'm like Summer break and shit. No that wouldn't make any sense like your parents A lot of these kids didn't come from great environments. They don't want to go home for Christmas Yeah, but like if my kids like oh, yeah, baby has powers and she can like, you know make machines do her better I'm like awesome. Oh, yeah, she's got to go to this special school. Cool. Cool. When do I get to see her? Oh She's got to fight the sentinels. Excuse me

My kid my kid's got to fight the fucking sentinels. Yeah Well, that's how else do you want them to learn how to? Make it in this great this cuckoo all of ours and you guys are also going to teach stuff about like Taxes and like how a bill becomes a law and stuff, right? Well for sure sort of yeah Actually very close to that on Friday's the teachers get a half day to go kill Magneto So they're going to watch mr. Holland's opus So it's kind of that Okay, one of them's fucking fighting Magneto Magneto is like what's that terrible smell and it's like oh, I have a

I have this weird hot stink that comes out of my armpit hair I have a hot stink that comes out of my armpit hair and um Yeah, and it's why it's like crazy, man. It's like so You think that kid that kid is like he get he goes to his senior year And then he's the all everyone's like so here's your costumes with big X's on them And then this to Jake is like so where's they're like here you go Jake is what's this is your diploma? You graduated. See you later. There's gotta be good luck

There's gotta be someone who just discussed this in a common book But I've never thought about it before that there's like when they graduate It's like hey listen, you didn't make the team And you're also Not even alpha flight Canada. Yeah, you're not like cut out to be like a teacher here. So You're you you're done. I was like, what do I do? What do I do now? Well, my suggestion? My first would be to get your g ed because you do not have a compliment. We're not accredited here

This is not an accreditation You've basically been um Legally truant for the last eight years. So there's gonna be some issues here Also, we will be sending a bill to your parents because like we kind of fed you and did stuff for you for like eight years And now like you're not part of the team or whatever So I'm so tired of giving away all these great free ideas I know and I also worry that we're getting a little too like

Like into the nerdy stuff. Yeah, let's get back to dinosaur stuff, right? Yeah, these big beautiful be now Here's another question. Here's a well Griffin. You got something just speaking of nerds Here comes a wizard and I can call him that because we're friends Cool. I'm so glad you guys have grown so close by the way. Adrian. Yeah, we're like real road road boys So atrean cow sent this in thank you atrean. Nice to have you back in the fold It's how to act like a furby Oh Furby's a fun toy for kids and well and is fun to act like they change their whole outlook on life often and are

Always hungry if you're a huge furby fan acting like a furby can be a lot of fun Oh, yeah, can I ask you the weird weird of an age to remember the the furby craze Are furbies fun? Sure Yeah, how in what way they talk to each other. They do tricks. Talk to each other do tricks. How's that fun? Like why are you being so judgy? No, I'm thinking about this. I'm not trying to be judgy I'm trying to think about there are toys that do I I just bought bb and dot a marble run Oh fun for days, right?

A furby I'm just not sure what service is providing as far as fun goes listen to you Yeah, I say that sentence out loud again and then think about what how you're saying it about this the service that the fun Child's toy that talks and sounds like a What does it do? What does it do? It's just like no just chill. Okay guys. I'm just saying you're ruining the fucking mood Wow, okay. Please go on. I'm willing to open my mind up to the fact that Maybe a furby is in some way Fun

Yeah, okay. All right creep. All right. Thank you. I don't know. Maybe it's such a gosh damn So sorry about my gosh damn. I'm just saying guys. I just don't see what it does. Okay. It's fine What is it have to do? What does a marble run? A marble run just goes down. I put marbles in it and I watch it do things a furby demands my attention It's not gonna fucking rub my feet at the end of the day. So this is a shitty toy Huh? Yeah, it's not gonna cook it's not gonna cook me my my ham at the end of the day. So what's the fucking point of it? It's not making me money. That's for sure I'm so sorry about all this graphine. Can you just try to did to carry on? I don't know that I fucking can

Looking the part decide what color furby you are they vary a color from white black orange pink blue and even yellow Choose the color you like best Cool. I think I'm gonna go yellow. Okay. You don't even like them. You don't like them. You don't get to even say that You don't even get to do pretends. Oh my god Justin's I'm just saying that a furby is an electronic version of a bag of flour given to a kid in health class To learn about responsibility. Okay Marbles just rocks and ramps. Yeah. Yeah That's awesome, dude. Where you just listen to you cool things

Where furry clothing according to the color you picked for example, if you are a blue furby Wear blue furry clothing with no texture designs on it Whoa, that's an indication go barefoot furby's dread shoes. So whenever you can't Furby's dread shoes. So whenever you can't choose Go barefoot whenever you can in the summer where flip flops a lot. Um, okay, but you just said Um, here's here's another thing don't wear makeup and jewelry. Furby would never wear these things furby, baby I like you just natural You don't have to try like the other furby's make up off take your shoes off

Put some makeup off you're a furby now But do wear a realistic pair of ears that are the color of your furby Purchase a realistic has some text that's busted Purchase a realistic tail to wear them every day. Do not sleep in them Do I don't sleep in furby can't take off his tail Furby can't rip off its ears and tail That you'll sleep They'll grow back

They always do Um, really Change your personality according to what is happening in life pretty sure We're all doing that all the time. That's automatic. Actually. Yeah, that's actually how Being works. Yeah, how do we know furbies don't like makeup and jewelry and stuff? Maybe we just never offer that Maybe we've never tried to doll up Tart up Tart up one of these first tart up these beautiful boys

Tart my furby Tart this furby for me Please if everything is going well with your family and friends and life is great be social kind and caring If someone angers you or makes you mad or life is pretty sad for you be grouchy and veer away from crowds Check check checks across the board. Yeah, I've got this covered. Actually. I'm actually already being a furby all the time Was this copied and pasted from maybe a different wiki howl article? Yeah, it's like well, I can just use that here It's perfect It's applicable when someone pulls or steps on your tail do something according to your personality

If you are in the loving one gig if you are in the loving one Giggle if you are in the grouchy one glare if you are the dancer girl slash boy go out, dude If you are the sassy type roll your eyes That is what happens when someone pulls my butt now just as a human something pulls my butt and if I'm in a loving mood I'm like But then when I'm in a dancer girl or guy mood, I guess sure. Yeah I was on the street dancing the other day So when you grab both cheeks and pulled as hard as they could oh man, I'm sorry and I I was my mistake

So I was like, hey, I didn't say out dude Because I was in dancer mode and so I I'm not allowed to be a furby anymore eat a lot Furbies get hungry frequently. Don't stuff yourself Never overeat or put yourself at risk for diabetes What what? This took a strange turn. Thanks wiki howl article, um Just eat whenever you feel hungry and eat a variety of anything you like love desserts and sweet treats eat dessert a lot

What what wait? This is part of being a furby. Yeah, man. Eat a lot, but don't eat a lot Hey, Jeremy, uh, I was looking at your first draft to this, uh, wiki howl article you wrote about how to be a furby Uh, what do you think about sir? I'm sorry, sir. I only I only wrote in 30 or 40 pages of nutritional This is mainly an article about nutrition that I've briefly mentioned the furbies at the beginning. Are you yeah? Yeah, no I think it may be expand the furby aspect of this and maybe include something about how to react when someone's mean to you Might be useful to I mean just a general reader, right?

We ran it through the focus groups and We definitely need way less nutrition stuff way more stuff about how if someone pulls your butt you go out, dude Yeah, and maybe change the title from like how to eat healthy And like have the energy you need to accomplish things throughout the day. Maybe change that to be like how to be a furby Um, I don't actually know. I've never actually seen a furby. Is that a problem or no, um, I've pulled up uh several tabs on my computer just like all the time just in case you were asked about it your computer's smoking Is that it's a lot of tabs? Um, so if you want to come check them out, they've been up for a while So there's some burn in on the screen. Let me just oh

Why do I have to hold well you got to hold it because that's the sacrifice you make for furbies now Let me pull your ears the tail off Oh, that's weird. They won't come off. Well, I'll just pull harder Yeah Okay, now go back and write and don't let this happen again. I don't know my wife's probably got to come downstairs now She's gonna see that I cut my finger off over the mitre song. Yeah, that's fair um sleep a lot I'm doing again

I'm kind of refreshing your life, huh? Uh furbies get tired easily take one or two naps during the day and have an earlier bedtime than others sleep in as long as you like There is what sleep in as long as you like as long as there is no school if it is a school day wake up on time Yes No, did you add that? No, no, no, it says that So it's right in there, huh? It doesn't say keep your grades up, but I think it's implied there. It's implied Um, hey check this out. Love music Okay, boy

Love music dance to music and have fun. Don't forget to change into a dancer's girl slash boy with music design Okay, guys Here's what I'm starting to learn that I was wrong at the beginning because apparently a furby is very useful to teach us How to be more human Right. He's teaching us like what someone makes you mad. It's okay to be mad And when you're hungry, you should eat don't deny beauties and like you're tired You should sleep man. And when music comes on fucking dance like nobody's watching Um

It's so wow that they felt they had to clarify you should not eat to a point where it's detrimental to your health Why did we have to clarify that for this one? I'm not sure I trust um the wiki howl furby article To set those kinds of parameters Yes for Anyone anyone at all Sing if you like singing have some have some confidence in your convictions when you're like sleeping as much as you want That's what a furby would do unless you have school. Well, which one is it? Yeah

Um, yeah, it should go whole hog. It should be like kiss a furby kiss like a furby's whole hog Yeah Get your furby whole hog out sing if you like singing sing frequently and always hum pretend to think no one is listening when you sing wait Pretend to think Holy that just sent an existential chill up my spine. What if that's all I'm ever doing? Holy shit furby article Oh, no Nulu happy learned furbish I can only pretend to think

And so am I only pretending to exist? What would Descartes say? Oh, no I cease to exist I'm Nothing What dreams may come when we have shuffled off this furble coil if you can't get a furby I read the instructions It comes with a guide to speaking furbish memorize all you can and download the furby app Look in the furbish dictionary and learn to speak fluently. Do not go overboard with furbish. Make sure others can still understand you Fuck you wiki how article. I'm gonna make edits to this right now

Yes, change it griffin go for it. Let's go to the money zone. I fix all that. I got a furbish dictionary here I'm gonna do the money zone in furbish perfect Hey, if you want to Get your website off the ground that would make me really nulu. Justin Oh, I can't actually do this discourse space. They've been a long is this not an e-day way to do this Article this is a wonderful friend to us as a as a podcast and I can't do this to him It's the all-in-one platform for making a better website about translating

Furbys to English Iita Iita indeed Trav They say in the copy here. They encourage to read Make this read our own and I think we are Accomplishing that yeah, that's definitely toad. I done It's toad. I of course you could you too could stand out with beautiful website and it's not actually, you know kidding aside It's not really that hard to to make website with square space They make it really easy make it easy to like change things up and yeah, you don't have to be a doll way to do it

This is actually it's running. It's natural course. I think it's natural course. Great. Great. Yes. Good. And wait This is not one of those things where we are challenging you Right. No, I don't I actually don't want to do it anymore. I felt myself slipping away I felt that okay I felt myself losing myself too deep into furbish and I couldn't see The outside anymore you can you know, you can add it's a great Competing for your business too because you can add booking and scheduling and and you know sell stuff All through your Squarespace website. So if you've been putting it off or maybe you have a website you don't love check out Squarespace

Go to Squarespace.com. Maybe you have a website that you still love but not in the passionate way you once did The fire's gone out. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely trap. Thank you So rekindle the flame with Squarespace head to Squarespace.com slash my brother for free trial And when you're ready to launch use the offer code my brother to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain Let me tell you about bombas's mission Justin can you give me some mission music their mission? Whoa No, that's not it. Can you give me something else? That's the only music I have. Okay. Well, just any sounds there. They got a mission

No, I made it quieter. Now. Give me something more intense. Give me anything intense doesn't have to be music Sure a piece of that just the tip just got me Odell their mission That got me good. Okay. You all right a piece of that tip just got me. Okay Their mission is to make the most comfortable clothes ever and match every item sold with an equal item donated So when you buy bombas, you are also giving to someone in need Pretty cool Pretty cool. If you ask me plus they've designed their socks shirts and underwear to be the clothes You can't wait to put on every day that is true. I just bought myself. That's right. But I didn't wait for bombas to send me

So I bought it underpants and I love them They're comfortable and they make my junk look great Come on that business load Lulu. It does make a little Lulu down there Everything they make is soft seamless tagless and has a cozy feel And clotheless It's just like the emperor stuff. Yeah, it's like wearing nothing and everyone's like, hey, I love I can't participate in this scam anymore Bombas since you empty box I'm sorry. You got to find out like this

And there's a no card and it says looking good, baby And it's like bombas. You don't know me like that when they sell no show songs. They literally it's literally they don't show up In the box. I can't believe but all this is the thing All the clothes they sell get donated even the stuff you're like, but I was gonna wear that tough Should we say now that these are jokes? These are these are jokes. They do send you things for you to put on your body No Griffin

You can't wink. You can't win. All right. Is that kind of undermines the whole thing? They really think clothes Seriously They really do They really send you some That's still bad. That's still bad. They don't they definitely don't not send clothes. All right. All right. Yeah, you've had enough fun Okay, yeah, the socks are not real though for real Griffin Griffin come on go to bombas.com slash my brother and get 20 off your first purchase. That's b o m b a s dot com slash my brother for 20 off bombas.com slash my brother. They're real socks

Definitely real socks and they don't cut 20 off the socks like some people say that they do That's not true. It's all the socks are there. It's entire socks for 20 off the price real socks Hey, it's john moe join me on depressed mode for conversations on how mental health shapes our life This week david sedaris with stories of his late father that he's finally willing to tell I think there's a difference between, you know, a good person and a good character Like he was a good character. My boyfriend here and my father was another one of those people He was a really good character, but he wasn't a good person depressed mode with john moe wherever you get your podcasts

Can we please do the second question? Oh Hey, welcome to our new segment building a mystery. Oh, okay. All right You guys are gonna love this as children. We were all raised on encyclopedia brown books Um, this is a book if you're not familiar This is about a young boy and his friend sally and how they solve mysteries together and encyclopedia is a genius To the point where the cops often consult Like an 11 year old. There hasn't been a crime in idaville For over a year. This is where encyclopedia brown lives

So we were raised on these books and i've been getting my daughter charlie into The books as well and it's fun. You listen to them and then you try to solve the mystery You know at the end just like encyclopedia does it's fun. It's good problem solving. They're great I assume they're available at scholastic book fair still you can find them anywhere fine books are sold There are however, I have to say donald j. Sobel the author of this franchise wrote a lot of these Oh, yeah, and he had let's call it a gift for metaphor sure And what I what we're going to be doing in this brand new segment is we're going to be checking out some of mr. Sobel's absolutely bananas

Metaphors and you are going to try to guess this is a quiz show Oh, okay, you are going to try to guess how these these absolute bangers Uh complete. So i'm going to give you the first half. Okay, and then you have to guess the second half Are you ready? Please We're going to begin with encyclopedia brown saves the day not the first book chronologically But it was the one that we were listening to Uh when when I thought of this series and in fact it was this first question That prompted me down this rabbit hole that was so much deeper than I thought it would be here we go bugs meaning

That's the bully of I mean this guy's a master chrono. This dude. He's real fucked up He's so fucked up. He's like twist. He's basically The joker. Yeah. Yeah, thank you travis vector the joker up unless it's bugs Bugs meanie was the leader of a gang of wild older boys They called them. I would actually be really good doing audiobooks for encyclopedia. Oh, I thought you're gonna say as a gang of wild older boys Justin you would slot into a gang of wild older boys Like a like a key into a lock. This is this is our neighborhood's toughest gang. They're called the tigers It's bugs meanie a bunch of other kids and a 41 year old man in hawaiian

He does a lot of the driving around and purchasing the buying beer. Yeah, yeah Bugs meanie was the leader He isn't He answers to that He answers to that priest. He bugs meanie. Okay. He's kind of the vizier Bugs He is helping him start a 529 to raise money for college with the school Please offend me. Let me bend your ear for a moment. Please my little birds

I Okay, you want to know your principal's address? I can do all right Bugs meanie was the leader of a gang of wild older boys. They called themselves the tigers. They should have called themselves the weathermen Why why? Because why complete the metaphor. Why should they have called simile? I don't care. Why should they have called the tight? I mean, it's a joke. It sounds like the setup for a joke You're gonna have to tell me after i'm done Why should they have called themselves the weathermen because they were always raining on everyone's parade

Okay, fascinating griffin. Why should they have called this gang of boy because they they are thundered because they Are destructive as a hurricane or tornado. They should have called themselves the weathermen They never stole anything until the coast was clear Huh Say one more They should have called themselves the weathermen. They never stole anything until the coast was clear You know how a weatherman is always looking at the horizon from the ocean and he's just like there's a storm rolling in Donald are you okay, bud? Okay. Give me another you've had your turn growled bugs

He jerked a thumb over his shoulder now make like a pair of headlights and Make like a pair of pair headlights and um and go and and I don't And damn and swerve and hit Hand switch off switch off

Click off. I'm gonna say hit the road hit hit the road. Travis. It's hit the road. Yeah But they don't good job headlights don't tip it the car hits the that's yeah Well, the car hits the road. No, no now now hold on to mr. Soba's defense the light shines on the road so you can see it. That's fine Benny was a good friend standing up as soon as he laid down. He went to sleep and became a threat to the nation's forests Why Because he snored like a buzz saw His snoring shook branches loose for half a mile around all right now donald

Travis gets half a point for that Yeah, he gets half but also I donald mine was better. Why did you reach so far? As encyclopedia bite past the empty lot on rock garden lane He saw nathan winslow swinging a pickaxe at top speed what the boy detective break to a halt Hey, nathan. He called what are you doing? What does it look like said nathan? I'm digging now leave me alone Now how does he now? Complete this line Now leave me alone

I have to practice. What are the grunts there? What does he say? What what could he possibly be saying there? Leave me alone And it's like a turn of phrase. Yeah, it's like a turn of like a classic turn of phrase Leave me alone Uh you Rackabuffin we were looking for go wash an elephant or something huh Okay, when are these books one of these books from

18 No, like the 1960s. Okay, so maybe that's just how kids talk back then. It's just I don't know dude. We don't know go wash an elephant or something or something Okay, we have one more from encyclopedia brown saves the day Forget it said encyclopedia the shine of gold can be worse than a close shave Oh The shine of gold Can't be worse than a close shave

because you can you can cut yourself on the My brain is not capable of the kind of lateral thinking That is that this that these passages demand use that broken brain Yeah, I know right a shine of gold can be worse than a close shave Uh Smooth I don't I guys made a lot of people lose their heads

Oh I don't think a lot of people have cut their whole fucking heads off all shape Donald sobo also wrote a sweeney Todd So that's that where they need to know Two more quick ones. These are from encyclopedia brown keeps the peace in every book They do one of these about the tigers and then there's something mean that bugs mean he says to encyclopedia brown This happens in every book. Yeah, bugs was the leader of a gang of tough older boys who called themselves the tigers They should have called themselves the teabags

Oh boy Um, they should have called themselves the teabags because they were always stirring things up Um, they should because there was always something brewing Damn it Travis is too Travis is leagues better at this game than I am like he's in a whole nother echelon Um, but he didn't guess it. Oh, I didn't Called themselves weird because they love to spoon because they always found themselves in hot water They were always getting in the hot damn griffin nice griffin macro are really nice. I'll take that one last one Bugs to this is bugs in psychopedia. Get off the earth

Wow Get off the earth. He snarled upon seeing the boy detective or I'll twist your nose so far around you'll What? You'll stand on the ceiling. You'll smell your brain You'll part your hair every time you sneeze. That's good. That's what we're looking for bugs. That's fucking good Anyway Absolutely now Justin My first crush was the uh young woman who played sally kimball hell. Yeah, dude in the encyclopedia brown hbo show. She's so tough

She's so tough embrace. Hey, so when I asked you during the outbreak to play some mysterious music Both and you're like this. Yeah, I know travel. It was the button was right there, but you fucking lied to me That's really no, but if I had burned that early, then it would be like You just had that lying around or something. You know what I mean? What are some of the Specials also, I don't want sarah to come after me. Yeah, fair. Yeah very loves a band and puppy She don't have any love for the gman. She said that publicly Uh, here we have a second christ. I've been waiting my partner and I recently purchased our first home in a small rural town One of the bedrooms in our house has two very large murals of monster trucks floor to ceiling

And the word bigfoot painted on the walls Every single one of our new neighbors has joyfully brought up these monster trucks in conversation The problem is we're not monster truck folks And do not know who or what monster truck bigfoot is If you don't I put in order. Yeah If you don't know who bigfoot is you do not know who literally any monster truck is. Yeah, right? Yeah That is the I mean that is the microtrug of monster truck. You might know truck Also, but that's not even a monster truck. It's a robot that eats truck. It just showpies somewhere than anything

It is not it does not participate in the events. It's also you have you have large pictures Of monster trucks painted on the wall and you know that bigfoot is a monster truck You cannot say you don't know who or what Bigfoot is it's a big monster truck called bigfoot. It doesn't have personality traits That differentiate it from other monster trucks. It's the first monster truck. I'm looking here It was it it was a 1974 forward f250 pickup that was modified by its owner bob chandler beginning in 1975 By 1979 the modifications were so extensive the truck came to be regarded as the first monster truck

Bigfoot bigfoot bigfoot had like a cartoon show like bigfoot's bigfoot's. Wow. It's the blue one on the wall that you have Okay, so anyway this person this question asked her Uh, how do we respond to all these bigfoot compliments from our new neighbors? Are we allowed to paint over these regional treasure murals in our new home? Do we lean into the monster truck honorific? That's from rurally remarkable in cumberland, canada Yeah, um I'll never forget like do what you want. I'll never forgive you Do you know what I mean? Like you can paint over the word bigfoot. That's fine. That's just it's a we have pictures here

It's a small like font treatment whatever paint over that right because it's not even close to the two pictures of the Fucking yeah, it's like in a corner by a window to right so it could just be like unrelated like this is actually about the monster bigfoot I love him and it's big in cat and cat's cradle curfew Vonnegut writes as bokeh non says peculiar travel suggestions or dancing lessons from god Wow, I would extend that To bigfoot's on your wall. This is the universe Trying to show you That this is part of your life now like you

This is part of your life these floors by the way are Fucking divine. Yeah, I would not risk painting these walls just because I don't want to ruin these beautiful floors Holy crap. Yeah, these murals by the way. These are not big heads. You may end your home be thinking. These are fact These are painted these are hand painted by somebody tasteful and there's like a perspective. Oh, yeah There's one where like bigfoot is leaping. It's that one by the way It looks three-dimensional the detail in it is incredible. Now what I will say I can see where that front view monster truck is a little much It's that one's almost if I could say weirdly it's kind of suggest it is kind of suggest

And the room just looking at the dimensions I would say maybe 10 by 10. There is a lot of There is a lot of mural In this space. I would grant you that I think I think the text of bigfoot Is a sticker. I think you think I don't think that that's actually yeah, you can get that off You could take that off. You could paint over that. I don't think that would be a crime against humanity If you did anything, uh, oh wait a minute

Okay, enhance enhance Victoria Zoom in. I think I can make out an artist's name. Victoria enhance, please enhance Are you able to make it out? Where is it? In the in the corner under the wheel under the wheel on the left wheel near the outlet The left wheel near the outlet Oh god, yes

I don't see it, but I'm seeing a mark look great look below the outlet. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Okay over there on the one on the wall Okay, hold on I believe I don't know what that is Marky mama toto It does seem like those letters are in there marky marky mama toto I don't think mama popo marky mama popo It could be it look I'm people are thinking we're having a laugh here. If this looks like any name It's marky mama toto right mama popo possibly or mama popo possibly mom are popo

Anyway, I would anyway, you can't know you absolutely can in no reality Or any other paint over these big beautiful big and listen, let's rank them, right? You can paint over the word That's solid. Yeah, I can see where you can justify Painting over the red truck at the front of the rim. Yes. Here's the justification. I'm a monster And I have but you can see where it's like it's bearing down on you and friends Now you could also that can make position a hell of an entertainment center there. Yeah, it's a tone Or a head a headboard for your bed because then you could be like who's in chuck like for like sexual stuff You could be like who's in who's in charge?

Well, then I would want it the bed facing that but it's not important But the big foot on the wall the ramping jumping beauty If you Touch it with your fingers, right? You're gonna get oils on it that are gonna it belongs in him It belongs in a museum. You're gonna which means that you have to make your house a museum And I'm sorry this part of your home doesn't belong to you anymore It belongs to all of us and I hate to do like imminent domain. Yeah, but I do think that I'm doing I'm Oh my gosh, I never thought I'd be able to do this on a podcast

But in my powers as a notary public I am declaring this room of your home on the register of historic places in cumberland. That's amazing So yeah, I and I'm I got my stamp right here Okay, this is official folks and I would never abuse this power. I take oh wow your stamp says good for canada on it Yeah, it says also good for good for one canada Wow, I don't know you're gonna need to get a plaque first and foremost Yeah, and I'm not just talking about for the wall. You're gonna need to get a sign outside too, right robin mars If you're listening

Uh any advice you can get on how the the process of getting those but like home of the painting of big foot That's really good is my like suggestion, but you wouldn't probably go to another option because this is clearly not You you don't appreciate this in a way. It needs to be appreciated So you can't just take that door out and sort of um drywall over The door and then in like 150 years when someone else owns the house and like one of their kids throws A hammer or something and it like smashes into the drywall and they'll be like hold on a second. Wait a minute. I think there's a A room past there Or maybe they're just looking at the house from the outside and be like there's a window there

But there's no room and so they get in there and they're like what treasures are we going to find and they find two big beautiful fucking badass bigfoot boys up there on the walls um That's gonna be like a real national treasure moment for them and you can if you're gonna do that though I think you gotta go one step further and leave like in the dead center of the room like one like forward key Oh, they're like what wow is this and a note that just says find it Yeah, find me here. Find me. I need to hear from you know, I'm gonna reach out to justin mackerel in canada In canada canadian justin mackerel. Uh, I feel like would be my best point of contact here

I'm also gonna reach out to the village of cumberland itself To see the process of getting a house added to the historic registry. Yeah, and let me because I will do I question ask her Thank you so much for your support. I will do anything Yeah I will swear no expense spread no expense there. Hey, I will also say this josson. I'm actually willing to go one step further Um, I not only do I want this room registered and protective for all of time I think you have been gifted the opportunity to this is a hobby now, right? Because sometimes you're like, uh, is it too late in life to start a collection?

Is it too late in life? Do I care enough about this thing to like spend my time doing it? This decision's been made for you. You chose to buy a house with a big foot room in it. You knew it was there It's not like they cleverly Hid that from you as they showed you this room. You knew it was there So now it's time to start buying up all of the historical big foot merchandise you can find one last thing question ask her If you can zero in on who that artist is, I would love to have them If it's if it's marky mom and popo, that would be a real vindication for me I also would like to address the fact that the owners of this house probably walked into this room

We're like, this is fucking funny. We got to send this into our favorite podcast So they took some pictures sent this question and I like did you send the pictures? Yeah, I did Okay, now we can paint and then they painted over all of it and now they're listening and now they're listening to the episode And they are very panicked Like can we find marky mama popo to recreate this work? Can we try and draw our own badass monster trucks on the wall? We're gonna roll up to this thing With the you know governor or whatever ready to just sort of like take take it over and find some real Let's call it what it is shoddy shoddy craftsmanship

Of some busted monster trucks that we'll recognize with our keen eye not the original work the brush strokes The brush strokes are we're gonna need a difference, right? We're gonna need a proof of life Uh, hold up today's newspaper next to this and take another photo, please And then just proceed to do that every day until we die If you have not already regretted sending this question any year about and like boundaries are so important and we are really cognizant of that and we have tried You know, we have really endeavored to establish those healthy boundaries between us and our audience, but this is our Fucking room now. This is our room. Yeah, this belongs to us. This belongs to us now

Thank you. All right. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself Uh, we're going to go do some shows this week. What? Yep, we're coming to your town provided your town Is boston? Yep Or the foxwoods casino In connecticut. Um either one of those you could come see us and we would just I mean, honestly, we would love it. I'd be thrilled I'd love it. Yeah, it'd be cool How cool would it be to see you there? Right? Am I right?

If you want to go the macquarie family macquarie dot family and click tours, you can see we're going to be at the wank theater in boston june 17th and That's taz june 18th is with a ma'am at the uh, boston at the wank theater wishmanners, by the way Wishmanners nice, uh, june 19th, uh, will be my brother my brother and me at the Foxwood casino in mash and tuck at connecticut So please go get tickets to those shows. They are going to be Actually good and not bad and don't forget to send in questions for those two but uh, you know

Either foxwoods or boston in the subject line, whichever one you are going to be at so we can you know do those questions Don't forget your masks. Don't forget masks and proof and You know proof of vaccination or a negative covid test within 72 hours Uh, also pre-orders for taz 11th hour are now open. It's gonna come out February 21st 2023 You can go to the adventures zone comic dot com to pre-order and i'm just gonna say it's the best one. Yeah

Whoa. Yeah, there it is. I said it All right folks, that's gonna do it for us griffin. Thanks montane for our theme song. My life is better with you You it's one that you can really fucking slam dance to if you try if you try Really hard, but do it. Did you hear their new one with? the uh The pronunciation is going to be a problem for me. Okay But they're great the great folks from the eurovision

show that Baby, uh, can we to know What are you thinking about believe it? You know that guy? You know you remember that one you introduced this topic And then you're acting like we made you do it So i regretted it so bad. I'm so sorry Okay, and go to macro and merch.com check out all the cool stuff that's there because 10 of all merch proceeds this month Go to fairness west virginia

Which is the statewide civil liberties advocacy organization Dedicated to fair treatment and civil rights for lesbian gay bisexual and transgender west virginians Great cause and you can get some fun merch and you know, it's awesome. Do it Uh, okay, let's go daddy frayer Okay daddy frayer Okay, yeah for daddy fray. I assume that's the person from eurovision and not like yes, what you're now calling briffin Uh, okay. I want I want to hear a personation of bigfoot a bigfoot

Um, the truck. Oh god, that was close jesson Oh, there's problem with the alternator Muncher muncher cruncher muncher. Oh, and he's got popcorn He's killing people he's in the crowd. Oh, no Oh, no, we got ringo star What another monster truck's coming in to stop him the penguin orphanage is here on a field trip not now Oh My name is just a mackerel

My name is justin mackerel My name is travis sakura I've become bigfoot Life finds a way don't get your dad's grand lips Oh It's better. It's better It's better with you maximum fun org comedy and culture artists owned audience supported