My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 617: Platonic Neck Kisses

Episode Date: July 4, 2022

If you’re at a loss for what to write in your Freedom Day cards, we’ve got you covered. Big ups to the self-sustaining heroes of past or whatever, but we’re focused on that giant cheese cracker, y’all. You know the one.Suggested Talking Notes: Flimsy Man Make a Accident, Netflix's Psychic Weapon, The Clown Prince of Factual Accuracy, Legally-Mandated Sprinkle Jimmies, Orange Slog Bog, Meat JazzTrans Youth Equality Foundation: https://www.transyouthequality.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby Precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better

It's better it's better It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and Me an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy buzz buzz. I'm your middlest brother Travis McElroy Yeah, buzz buzz. I'm Griffin McElroy more like my brother my brother and be we've got be fever or beaver as I like to call it No, we're ready. We're ready. We've got we're all honey sticky sweet over here and ready to talk about the show we've been talking about and I

might even say hyping up and Extolling the virtues of maybe I don't remember doing that Griffin. I don't remember It being overwhelmingly positive our discussions, but I but but I we have gotten lots of messages from our good friends who have relied on us for 12 years now for culture Recommendations sure our Real guidance spiritual guidance just like last life style tips. It's live

It's live MVB these boys at MB MB AM more letters wouldn't tell us all about this show if it wasn't gonna be a knockout and I Can we stop? I I Don't like it man. You're talking about man versus be right now Yeah, I'm gonna rely pretty heavily on YouTube to talk about it cuz I haven't watched it You didn't watch it. Nah, it just doesn't seem interesting to me. It Are you fucking well, you know, I watched the trailer and like I went I went and I saw it on Netflix

I was like, yeah, it doesn't seem like my how dare you you're kidding, right? No, I haven't watched it. Okay, so we'll just sit here For 25 minutes while you 35 minutes. Well, I figured you guys could just like walk me through it I was just busy like spending time with my family and taking care of things around the house We say you're busy as a bee. Oh, yeah, I would say that is that can I use there be in the show? Can this can this I think there's a lot of other things on most hostile energy. I feel like you've ever brought to an episode I hate it. It's it's really that's saying a lot. It is Fucking lot travel. Yeah, I know. So why does kind of walk me through the first episode. Well, I Is this the last episode we talk about make can we can we establish that before we begin?

So I can prepare myself spiritual I need to know how much to leave out on the court if this is the last time we ever discuss This program then I'm I'm you're gonna get beast mode Griffin Which you have not gotten in a long time. I would love that if we have more in the tank more in the future I will set something aside for that. I will say one problem here at Travis. I didn't watch it, which I hate Uh-huh, I didn't I think he did he's being I didn't I really did I did watch it the first episode Are you that's that's it? I Watched one you watched one of this incredibly short television show how long are the episodes?

You're like 18. There's like it's like seven minutes. There's skits and sketches What is like they're fucking quibbies Justin and you couldn't watch one quibby. Yeah, Justin. Come on The problem is I watched them also Pretty high yeah, I will say the one I watched I was pretty high Did you love it just to evidence that real quick? I'm gonna play the video I sent you guys so people gotta hear where my head was at sure part the part with the The hairdryer that was good. The hairdryer was good

Okay That's sort of where I was for the For this episode of television, uh-huh you said thumbs up on this Uh-huh, uh-huh the hairdryer part Justin's referencing is he knocked the head off a statue chasing be be and Knock a head off a statue and tries to glue it on actually kind of make a point. That wasn't be That was man. The statue put that one in the man called statue was he was on the phone Yeah, and he just wasn't paying attention and he was knocked it over

Yeah, the bee was not in involved at that about and I just say guys as someone who didn't watch it Which I hope is the majority of our audience right now. You haven't mentioned anything that wasn't also in the trailer Yeah, yeah, I will say this good trailer in terms of Representative cross-section of the experience that you're gonna be in for which is to say flimsy man make an accident Then the trailer did a great great job of of selling that hey Griffin go be someone and tell me all about the first episode of man VV I Watched more than one episode. Oh, then tell me as much as you want to tell me It have you ever watched the television program or films mr. Bean? Yes, I have it's it's that and you know how mr. Bean is

flimsy man make an accident over and over again and talk talk a little This time he talks kind of normal still of a very sort of like obsequious little wretch Whose family fucking hates him. Yeah, and everyone hates him. He's a he's a house sitter He shows up to this house and the owners of the house are like open the door. We hate you. We hate you You're not a normal guy whose name is Trevor. I think or no his name is try unless there's a second Trevor We are we are meant to revile these rich out-of-touch douchebags because their house is so nice and their car is so nice and But here's but the market has placed a value on the work that they do clearly that has allowed them to

Accomplish this lifestyle Everything they say About the flimsy bean man is a hundred percent, right? Yeah Okay, you're gonna fucking kill our dog. It's gonna shit all over the house It's gonna destroy our our Gutenberg Bible. It's gonna fucking wreck our jaguar It's gonna destroy our lives that we've worked so hard and the market has allowed us the beautiful free market has allowed Thank you to achieve and you're gonna destroy that and we the viewers are supposed to be like Fuck him up bean. I'm about to like

No, he's a bad. He's a bad man and he makes so many accidents and He sucks and the show sucks and I had a shitty time watching now The problem with it is that he bean is a narcissist bean is a bad person who only care now Are you talking about Rowan bean or Trevor here? I'm talking about bean Trevor is Painted as like a nice guy. So these terrible things happen to him. Wait. Hold on jump back in your mind Mr. Bean is a narcissist clearly hundred percent. Whoa, terrible person. Yeah. Whoa means a really bad person Watch the Christmas episode. I mean you you have his girlfriend comes over. He

Gives her a picture of two other people He as soon as she gives him his gift He immediately takes it and starts opening it like he only cares about himself the test episode Okay, he's copying off the other person. He's you know, he's You really open my eyes Even the my flexible friend Sam making a sandwich on a park bench He is clearly making that other gentleman deeply uncle in every episode mr. Bean makes a different gentleman deeply uncomfortable I know does he give a shit? No, he sucks Trevor is is supposed to we're supposed to be on his side

But the problem is when calamity occurs and our friends it does mostly be be related It makes you It makes you not feel good Okay, I feel this is saddled This how okay the first episode of this show is so while we joke in the Paul Blart podcast till death was part about check-offs gun show where he literally like goes to a gun show and he's like here's all the different guns that

You will you will be using later in this later movie this movie is maybe more Ostentatious than that with it's like what up where they go step by step through this house and it's like Here's this thing. Here's this other thing. You won't remember. Here's how the locks work. Here's this special book That's worth a million dollars. Here's this special painting. That's worth a million dollars. Don't stand on that trapdoor the dog Yeah, exactly like the dog only is this special beef or whatever and it's like so this is just you're just I can't remember all this Stuff I know being camp, but then they're like it's all in the manual. It's all in the house manual It's all in the manual. It's all in the manual fucking five minutes in you know, this guy has the manual on the stove Just like lighting it on fire and we've all been there

It's not on purpose, but it might as well be for how Easily it could have been avoided and I will say this There's a lot of nude being in this film. Oh, we keep saying film. This is a ten episode Maxi series I still haven't watched it, but I assume it's like a cereal where you could watch all of them together They could put it into a film eventually if they wanted to show it at Sundance Absolutely, they could show this at Sundance for sure There's a bit in in this show go off where he he tears it So there's a soundproof room

What all gets in there and starts tearing up a book He hits a window with a hammer to smash in through the window to keep the book from being more destroyed The hammer bounces off the window flies into a painting that's like modern art You know what I mean like color blocks that kind of thing. Yeah rips a big chunk out of the painting. Okay. Yeah so He they're gonna be gone for a week. He's been there for like ten minutes, right? And this happened He the man cuts a section of the couch The bottom of the couch where there's like fabric. Yeah cuts it out

Then the color block that was torn is just like a big red square. So cuts it out paints it red with ketchup Yeah, huh and then duck tapes it on to the back of the paint like That's why bean Time to go to the paint you could go to paint store You could take it to an art restorer and they would actually fix it or somebody to it more importantly in the

1997 film beam destroys a very famous painting the Mona Lisa. Yes, it's not the Mona Lisa It is the Mona Lisa. I don't think it's the Mona Lisa I'm pretty sure it is because I think he erases the face He does erase the face, but I'm pretty sure it's not the Mona Lisa at the screen. It's whistler's mother. Oh Yes, he restores it using like toothpaste and a clever a clever See and then he gets a poster and like lacquer is over it to make it look like so we've done this Accident before with you. We've done this and Better job you did a better job job and can I also just say pretty challenging stuff?

I mean, it's pretty the victim here. I felt offended as Like fuck and then it was and then I remember what he said about that. That's a good thing actually Yeah, that's what it's supposed to be difference here is you don't have Peter McNichol Holding it down. Oh look looking like bean. I'm flipping out right now His reactions to bean flipping. That's the issue with man versus be they don't give nobody a Ron Atkinson to work with except a CGI be Peter McNichol is over here like Ah, ah, I love fucking actor Peter McNichol. I don't his performances I love his performances wild to think to use the thing of like oh in that comedy film

Peter McNichol plays the straight man is a wild like that's how that's how silly We're all straight men. That's right Mr. Bean doesn't believe in homosexuality Challenging man, you're right Justin. He's challenging, but it's true I will say this he was right about one thing this show is a weapon and Netflix is holding it in its hand And it's sitting in the now trending charts fucking cocked and loaded and if you see you honey We finished stranger things what next well next in the hot Section is a show called man versus be that might be a good way to kind of decompress a little bit

We're all really stressed out about hopper over here And then you watch man versus be and you've been killed by yeah, this psychic weapon I do like it seems like Netflix was like hey you guys like stranger things, right? Yeah You'd like the final two episodes of the season. Well first you're gonna have to watch Fucking vegetables. It's like it's like What was what was a Malin use thing God the yeah, the what's in the box where you had everyone had to tap curiosity Everyone had to tap this box a bajillion times and never tapped at the bajillionth time. We get an incredible

That's what this is like everyone has so if you want the rest of stranger things Everyone has to watch the rest of man versus be a million times. I don't want to talk about this anymore No, I don't want to talk about members be ever again confronted with the reality I know here's here's what sucks shit though is we are gonna have to talk about it again because Travis has to watch it Oh Travis, I will never yeah, our audience will never forgive you for this. I'm sorry. I was busy I had things to do I cut my finger with the head shimmer. I just didn't do that It did you do that like a fucking Vietnam War deferment so that you did not have to watch I just finished reading a prayer for Meanie and I was like, yeah, I know how to get out of this great idea. Yeah, okay

I would can I say this I would gladly shear my finger off to not watch another I didn't shear it off Let's be clear she had into it. All right. That's man versus be that's our segment I would love to hear your thoughts about it in the comments I'm gonna go ahead and say this I will continue to talk about it in every episode until Travis's watches The entirety of hey Justin. Hey Justin Which one of us has more of a stomach for a long unfunny bit But one of us needs craves the love and adoration of the the listeners most I think you'll be the villain. You're the you are the villain Travis. Okay, you are a villain until you watch this

So am I the man or the bee in this scenario? You're the man who is the villain. Oh boy. Okay, so just This is seen in the second episode There's a scene in the second episode where he devises a trap where he puts some bread with peanut butter on it in a microwave Beast floats in there gets stuck in the peanut butter and he shuts the microwave and is ready to turn it on and cook it And he doesn't what's your fucking How is that not the end of the show? How is that not the end of the show? Does he chicken out? He doesn't want to kill the bee and it's like why would I continue to watch this show if you don't even have the Strengths of your conviction. I can't believe but also the bee stuck on the beer. Just put it outside

He does and the bee flies back into the well. Okay. Okay. This is an advice show As you've certainly guessed by this this this moment um So thank you for joining us yet again for this for this program or maybe you didn't it's quite possible. You're not here Yeah, well, whoa, think about it. My wife's friend was hosting a my wife's friend My wife's friend My wife's friend was hosting a canadian thanksgiving party. It was getting which is usually like october Is no one knows when they're there. No, i'm so i'm telling you i once had

It's the 44th thursday of every year I once had canadian thanksgiving in Honduras because there was some canadians there was great. Guess what they eat turkey Oh It was getting a bit late and I wanted to get our six month old son down for bed Been there everyone wanted to get some photos with the kiddo before we took off He started to get a little agitated at the commotion. So I tried to bounce him a bit and kissed his fuzzy little head He was having none of it So we got as many pics as we could and I shuffled him off home as I was putting him his crib

I came to realization that instead of gently kissing my sweet baby boy on the head I may have kissed my canadian broy friend's neck As he was standing next to us in the photo I Haven't spoken to him much since then but I'm haunted by the idea Softly kissed the peach fuzz on my buddy's neck and not immediately recognized. This is not my baby Do I ask him if he felt anything strange during the photos or do I continue to act like nothing? And that's from I guess la la lips la lips

It's hard to say if every question that was sent to us That was sort of a toss-up like this Included photographic evidence Then this show would be so much easier to to yeah, but then anyone would do it Griffin if it was easy Anyone would do it. I'm just saying look at the look at this photograph. I'm kissing my buddy Derek's neck Let's assume a baby's head. How do you confuse a baby's head with a grown adult? Looks like baby's head I guess so because maybe Derek moisturizes a lot and he had six months of beard growth

And it was equal to six months of baby hair growth Let let's assume would it be safe to assume because if you didn't kiss Derek's neck Then we don't need to proceed any further, right? So if we're assuming you can't we must assume So let me say this Derek in the moment also didn't say anything Sure, right. So maybe maybe there's not as bro as you think maybe it was just a nice moment between friends It was intimate, you know, it's just like oh, this is not you know what we never show each other a affection like this This is very nice. Thank you. I love it. I love it. Let's bring back platonic intimacy. Please. Yes, please and thank you Thank you

I mean, sorry not for me. Thanks. Oh, yeah But to be fair riffin doesn't care for any intimacy whatsoever. Oh, that's not true. I'm a real sex monster But I don't want it. I but what but that's in a very specific place, which is to say my my christian bed Uh, uh, outside of that. I'm No, none for me. Thanks. So you wouldn't you guys you guys kissing each other's necks. I'm I'm fine over here But keep it up. You look happy. I'm happy So if Justin or I if we had like a really great live show We came backstage and everyone was like, oh great live show and Justin and I wanted to share a round of like brother kisses on the neck

You would abstain. I wouldn't be there I would be good for you for well when I I would know the vibe Was leading in the direction of platonic intimacy and I would probably just like Squirrel myself. So wait as we walked to the dressing room holding hands like we always do at the end of live shows You would break off. No, I told you that's not that's that's just brother stuff. Okay, and this is not like a it's not like a homophobic thing It's just uh, I'm good on platonic intimacy over here Yeah, if if some of any gender of any sort of or yeah You're not loving the platonic just not really bad. Uh, bup, bup, bup. No, thanks

Yep, yeah, you know what now that you said it and I think yeah, that's yeah, that's gripping That sounds about right it's a topic that that I feel like we've glanced off of before but I do feel like merits exploration is that Oh, just it we're recording video for the first time and I can see just intending his fingers It's very frazier ass go on solve this the frazier ass Look at this. You got a frazier funko as long as we got video. Look at these. Well, frazier pop That's I got a frazier pop. Okay. Okay, and then I got a martin and eddie pop still haven't found the Niles

Oh Niles is the chase um, I There is a these things Uh-huh. They go they go rotten when you leave them in the fridge of Of not confronting them They go they go rotten and this this this topic

Has it has gone it has gone fallow now. It is you can't do this anymore. You can't return to it You bring things to us. You have to start getting the habit Of anticipating these situations and emailing us before you accidentally I'm going to a Thanksgiving A canadian Thanksgiving party and I feel there might be a chance. I might kiss my Broly friend on the neck my friend has a patch of hair on his neck That and there's also a sort of weird Soft bone plate in there. Anyway, it really looks like a baby's head. Yeah, and um, I want to kiss it

I just can't help myself I think here's like this is There's a good chance that you could ask your broy friend like Did I kiss you on the neck while we were taking photos? I was so tired. I've got six months old You can't now. This is what I'm saying. Oh, yeah. No, it's a long path to do it The instant it happens because it's going to seed like from the moment you don't discuss it It is like one of those time-lapse videos of a fox decomposing like yeah You have to address it in that exact moment don't hold back

You'll figure it out once again Not because if you had accidentally to kiss him on the neck, that would be the weirdest thing But I would say anything like this the longer it goes The weirder it is to then ask about later, right because it's like what he indicates is I have been thinking about this Right on stop tragedy plus time equals comedy. Yeah tragedy plus comedy equals time Yes awkwardness plus time equals Weirder like it just I I actually think comedy plus time does equal tragedy

Where it's like you make a joke or something funny happens and it would be funny in that moment But then it sat too long. Yeah And it was like if I know it was a joke. Was that funny? Was it weird? It's like, oh, no We've thought about the funny thing too long and now it's horrifying. Yeah, like when I see mr. Bean in 1995 Gives clothes torn off and he's got his naked bean dick and he's just running around a swimming pool And I'm watching that like busting up But then a full grown but then a see dong But then a full grown bean almost 30 30 years later does it because a bee chased him out of his house

And that's tragedy now because time has made it tragedy. Is he allergic to bees in this show? It's not addressed In the early episodes that Griffin has enjoyed Travis will have to report back to us Hey, I have something for us today and it's a it's a special something I was looking through wiki house and I stumbled on an email that ethan sent us. Thank you ethan. Thank you ethan and it's it's a it's It's from a website called hola dappy

Which I believe is a mixture of the word a portmanteau of the words holiday and happy um and hola dappy This article has a lot of helpful tips for us Can I just say that's a that's a portmanteau. That's terrible. That's not how you don't have to say that In doing portmanteau is itself Think about that. Um So hola dappy has composed here a list of happy independence day messages and wishes that we can send each other and our loved ones to

celebrate the good times great oldies and this incredible country Yeah, completely flawless. No notes this kick-ass country that we live in and how we can send messages to each other on On independence day to really acknowledge that a griffin might have proposed a game Sure, sure What if you read the message, right? Okay, and then we counted to three and all three of us said who in our life We think would send that message to us. Oh, no, no this game won't work and I'll tell you why they're all nonny Can I begin? Ah damn it?

Okay, go on Short greetings for text messages. So just like and this doesn't it's not just for us This this episode. I don't know if we're putting this out on our usual day if we do it is July 4th right now when you're listening to this So go ahead and snap off a few of these and just like shoot them over to your buds and see What you get back from let's salute the nation That's a that's one that's the first one and that sounds like weirdly like making plans for something, doesn't it? Like that's not just like hey happy for that's like let's do something. Hey, what are you doing right now?

Let's go salute the nation When you salute the nation, do you just do you look do you look at the down at the ground or do you just try to shoot? You lay down you lay down face down with your Hand between your forehead and the dirt. That's good. That's good So the second one escalates a little bit in that it says I pledge that the labor of our past heroes shall not be in vain Wow Wow Wow. Hey. Hey. Hey. Wow

Also, not necessarily what the 4th of july is about. Yeah, I think you're thinking more memorial day That's more of a memorial day vibe. Can you um, can you bring hot dog buns to the cookout? Thank you I pledge that the labor of our past heroes shall not be in vain Is because I asked a pretty simple question about the hot dog buns That's also a thing you could say after watching a lot of marvel movies too. Uh-huh. Yeah, uh-huh You could also say something like, uh, I feel proud to be part of a prosperous nation Well, well Followed up by happy independence day. Yeah. Hmm. Didn't start there though, huh?

Nothing nothing is as good as living in an independent and self-sustaining nation. Well, what are you talking about? Doesn't mean anything. You mean our self-sustaining nation that worries about our wheat supply oil supply Yeah, our self-sustaining nation that when boats couldn't get her from trying to start choking on its own puke That doesn't have enough doesn't have enough microchips to make things We're doing it Yeah, we have incredible computers that we have truck city and factories that don't have chips in them Our one gubernatorial douchebag just strangles the entire avocado pipeline. What is what a beautiful self-sustaining nation Sustaining we don't need anybody else. No, baby. We got it. Uh, hey

At best wishes and happy independence day. Here's wishing you have a happy independence day. Happy birthday to our dear country Let's remember all the past heroes who fought for our freedom and unity Okay, okay. I love our past heroes. Let me say yeah, we're a hero and in the past wild about it Yeah, yeah, I feel like they do have a day That's their day, you know, I mean the ones that are past heroes and current heroes Both days like they both we were being honest these messages would be like and let's salute the idea of signing a piece of paper Because really that's I mean come on. There's always gotta be somebody though. If you try to say what fourth of july is There's always somebody who's like, no, it's not actually that it's like the sign of decoration independence

And then there's always gotta be some some joker who's like actually is the day that the The continental congress announced that the different papers have been signed. You you bring up such a great point, doesn't it? Why is the joker so pedantic about history? I've never understood that thing. I'm like, ah, yes batman I will get you also not everybody signed the declaration on the fourth actually a lot of people signed it It was the fifth. It was red. That's the worst. Hey trav. That's the worst joker impression I've ever heard Thank you. I'm trying the new take for the joker That I'm trying where he's both the clown prince of crying but also

The clown prince of factual accuracy. Yeah If somebody does come at you with that very pedantic correction just hit him back with a may god continue to uplift this country's glory Is that what he's been doing? I missed that Oh man, where have I been looking? Or just hit him with a very Straightforward right over the plate today is a very special day for the nation and its people Well, yeah, I would just then I would just send that every day for a while because it's probably true whether good or bad There's probably something happening on that date that feels pretty major

Yeah, here's wishing you and your family the best the nation has to offer as we celebrate our country's independence So like some five guys Is sure is that what you mean? Is just some five guys in a national park go eat some five guys in a national park That's assuming it's open because they could get staffing for it. They could that could be an issue those are texts, but You all know me

um I don't like I don't like to text. Yeah, it feels very like it's so cold Cold and impersonal. I like a car. It's robotic. These are some slightly more Thoughtful longer messages that you could write in a car. I love getting cards from Griffin. I do too. Yeah Like I I'll get a card over a few days. It's like hey, I'm hopping on fortnight. Let's go Or like yeah, hey, you're late for this or the postcard. It's like Hey, what size t-shirt do you wear? Do you know? Yeah, or like can we reschedule today's recording because I have diarrhea again

Yeah, yeah, um Do you guys remember the greeting card? I got you both and it had like a cute Cartoon firework on the front of it and then when you open it up inside the card it already had written Baby, you're a firework. Happy 4th of July. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, and then underneath underneath that I wrote Myself I added the future progress and development of our great country do not depend solely on technological advancements But how we build social cohesion and trust between our nation and its people. Let's continue building a great nation We can all rely on and be proud of happy 4th of July. I'm Griffin McRoy and I approve this message. What on the fuck? What? Yeah

And then there was the one with the cartoon grill on it and it says you're a you're a barbeque Happy 4th of July. Yeah, and underneath that Um, I wrote every citizen should have a sense of belonging wherever they find themselves May all our politicians rise to the great task of building trust between the people and the nation so we can have peace and stability in Our country. Here's wishing everyone a happy freedom day celebration. I do remember that I did think it was weird that it was written and cut out letters for magazines But other than that it was really now. I liked the sentiment. Do we call it freedom day? I do not believe so future rama does is this person confusing real life with future rama

Real life. Yeah, that does happen. Yeah, those are just some normal things to write inside of a greeting card. Um, and This is this is my favorite one as we mark our Insert number independence day today try to think of something that you have done to better the welfare of the people If nothing comes to mind then try to think of what you might be able to do in the future happy independence day Just a little homework for you. That sounds like a card That sounds like a card a funeral home would send you to thank you for your business. Does yeah, you got on their mailing list And it's like what there's a tiny calendar that you have no use for whatsoever and a card

Asking you what you've done for the nation. Hey, I'm gonna play. Uh, this is a quick math challenge I'm gonna count to three and then you guys say how many years we like since 1776 Fourth of july you ready? one two three go 350 40 some wow. Yeah, it's it's 354 I think 354 354

Griffin 354 Seven is the year 21 30 I said 240. I felt pretty good about that. How's that 240 is pretty close 240 is pretty close. I believe it's 246 You believe you didn't give me you didn't give me a lot of time, but you went with 300 you couldn't do simple 300 griffin already puts it at 2076. It's your common core, bud. It's a big blocks the hundreds blocks

that it 300 is obviously a bad start That's obviously the wrong start A two at the front and then any number afterwards would have been excusable. Yeah, okay. Now here's what I was saying Difficit defense. Yeah, 17 Was was the start of it, right and 20 is where our starts now Yeah, 17 plus 20 300. I can see how you would get there. It's not it's not that 17 plus 20 is 300 I think we can all at least agree with that

Remember the greeting card I sent you that had the cartoon American flag on the front of it And it said looking good in stars and stripes, baby. Happy independence day and then underneath that I wrote each time I remember those who laid down their lives for this day of freedom. We are celebrating tears roll down my cheeks I wish they were alive today to see how the country is progressing toward greatness I'm actually not getting any of your cards because every time you turn it out my house number It just says seven seven seven three three three blue. It's like no griffin That's a holy holy incomplete understanding of orthopedic Listen, I know we've talked about it before on the show

But if someone could snap their fingers and the founding fathers would be alive today They would not care about where our country is that they'd be terrified at everything out tv's cars Okay, mr. Bean, let's visit our old gags to try to reuse them for new for new purposes I would take a blink and go see that new Jurassic world movie and he'd be like the whole time like Like hiding under the chair fucking idiot Wouldn't you love to actually like if you got people from a certain time period I don't know when this would be like say Shakespeare times

Yeah, what and you brought him into the future and everybody's like, you know, I would take him to Steak and shake or whatever like I don't have to you know, um or whatever. I would I would show him tv The best thing to do is somebody from that time period would be or guess any biblical times whatever Would be to tell them about dinosaurs Yeah, and then instantly tell them they don't exist anymore. Yeah Like hey, guess what dinosaurs be like, oh, shit. You let them go on for like a half hour You're showing them all the sick ass Like videos and photos that we have of dinosaurs

From the media and then at just at the right moment you're like, but they don't exist anymore. Yeah, sorry bud. Sorry And then send them right back and then they're right back there at their desk But go go start digging for bones. You never know. Yeah, can we go digging for some bones in the money bone? Oh I think you meant funny bone Monkey bone, that's what it was. Let's go to the lucky bone. Hey, let's take a quick two hours to go watch monkey bone It's it's 93 minutes. Yeah, but you need 30 minutes to decompress afterwards You know a lot of these sponsors that we have have a couple benefits

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That's up to an 80 dollar value at imperfect foods.com Offer code when you use the promo code My brother join the movement at imperfect foods.com and use code My brother honey yeah I love you, but let me talk about a service call honey

Because today's episode is sponsored by PayPal honey the easy way to save when shopping on your iphone or computer. Listen. Listen Ask anybody they know they know I love Online shopping. It's how I find all my little choshkies All my little doodans. You know what I like. I like those little garden gnomes But they're way if they look like they're big fans of a sports team You know those get all those wonderful toys. I get them online Griffin I'm telling you right now about the garden gnomes that look like they're like, I love the bingles Right those garden gnomes and they're what if fat man did get all of his doodaz and gadgets just from wish.com

And they were not they were not very good Well, you'd save a lot of money, right? Especially if you used honey. Yeah, sure. Sure. Yeah Yeah, because honey is the free Shopping tool that scours the internet from promo codes and applies the best ones It finds your cart like say you were buying like batarangs in bulk, right? Because once you throw them they're pretty much gone Like you never see batman going around and picking them back up They'll never fly the same again after they ding off of a wall, you know, that's also true

Or once they like sever someone's artery, you know, I mean they get a little rusty after that, right? So you want to buy what I don't think that's what he does with them. Well, listen, he doesn't purposefully murder anyone But he's not doing triage. You know, he's much like bean in that way. Yes. Thank you So you're shopping on one of your favorite sites batarangs.com And when you check out the honey button appears and you click apply coupons and it finds all the battering coupons And then you wait a few seconds and honey searches finds coupons for that site And then if it finds a working coupon, you'll watch the prices drop. Listen batman didn't get to be rich By paying full price for batterangs if there's one thing I know about batman

He didn't get rich by paying full price for batterangs. Just a huge kind of say Huge shout out if you go to batterangs.com. It's about to say the exact same thing if you get did you go? Yeah, I went as soon as you go to batterangs.com. You know what there are what a bunch of batterangs you can buy Hell yes, it's just a place you go and it's it's a different website, but they didn't pay to be mentioned So whatever you just go to batterangs.com. You can buy This ad within an ad which i'm sure honey loves. Yes adores I'm just glad thank you batterangs.com for keeping my brother from having to spend money to secure a url that we mentioned in there Yeah, that is a huge relief actually

listen listen When we buy school clothes for bb when we buy, you know Buy any clothes for the kid right because the kids they're always getting bigger Right, it's great for you, honey to save that money because kids grow out of these things so fast And it always feels bad paying money for them because you know pretty soon they won't fit anymore And it's so good to save so thank you, honey and honey doesn't just work on desktops It works on your iphone too. How well you just activated on safari on your phone and save on the go

So if you don't already have honey, you can be straight up good see Okay Okay, how do I get a bad rap? How is that? Safari's a good No, keep going That's one line isn't a rap justin No, I was gonna try to rap bad, but I'm physically incapable of doing it You're so good at rapping you can't do it bad every every bar is a kilo

Over a year. Yeah, uh, it is is no joke Okay, so if you don't already have honey, you could be straight up missing out and by getting it You'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this show I'd never recommend something I don't use so get honey for free at join honey.com slash brother That join honey.com slash brother. Is that both of these are actually really good Yeah, which I should start saying at the end of all of them, but like yeah, no cap They're not shit. No cap. No cap Um, hi, I'm looking for a movie. Oh, I got you. Uh, there's that new foreign film with the time travel

There's an amazing documentary about queer history on streaming Have I told you about this classic word giant robots fight or there's that one that most critics hated But I thought was actually pretty good. Oh, I know the one with the huge car chase and then there's that scene where The car jumps over the submarine. Wow. Who are you eclectic movie experts? Well, I'm Evie Wadiway I'm Draya Clark and I'm Alonso Derraldi and together we host the movie podcast maximum film new episodes every week on maximumfun.org And you actually just walked into our recording booth. Oh weird. Sorry. I thought this was a video store You seem like a lady with a lot of problems I

I'm a psychic. My name is psychic carry. I'm ross. Oh, what a pleasure to meet you Of course, I knew your name was ross as I am a psychic, but please take a seat Well, I was hoping we could talk about my podcast. Yes, I know it's called ono ross and carry Yes, we investigate from science spirituality and claims of the paranormal You took the words right out of my mouth. Yes, this whole podcast It sounds like it's been a real challenge for you lately. Actually, it's a lot of fun. Yes, exactly because it's so fun I don't know how you do it. This will be 75 dollars. Okay. That seems fair. Oh, no ross and carry at maximumfun.org You knew it was a dot org. I have a gift

I just want to talk about like some uh, personal adjustments or something you want to say Nope Okay, let's do another question. Okay, perfect I wanted to give you something in a row. I felt like there was a munchkwad coming Hmm. Hmm. Guess I'm getting a little less predictable in my old age. Okay I paint apartments for a living while walking. I bet that's a very satisfying job Oh, especially if you're doing it like by yourself just put headphones on But especially if it's a nice clean job no cutting in you just oh

I paint apartments for a living. I bet it sucks when they don't move the furniture first And you get there and they're like, yeah, you'll move it right and you're like, no that I just paint. Oh my god Move your shift for a living. I hate when I have a cat. What if they have a cat? You paint the cat into the paint the cat into the wall sucks I've painted I love that book about how to write a movie called paint the cat But it's like that's how you establish like a bean character right away Right, if you want to establish this is a bean ask character, which we're all going for you gotta have him paint the cat Paint apartments for a living while walking through the hallway to the apartment. I was assigned

I overheard the building is having an ice cream social later for the tenants Yes, the chicken is having a heat wave. So the building has no the building has no ac and I love free food Is there an acceptable Way for me to get some of this ice cream out of context the entire building is specifically for people 55 years and older So I'll be at least three decades younger than the rest of the people there and also I'm covered in paint That's from melting in the midwest. Okay. Let me start with this We have so much to add here. What kind of cut rate slum lord Is like the old people are melting

We need ac and then this slum lord turns around his throne is like let them eat ice cream And then slams the door in their face. Yes. This is a bad building they're spending money on repainting Before they preserve the temperature control for these poor old people. That's that's fucked up That's fucked up and let me say this these that I'm and I'm not gonna I'm gonna try my hardest I I don't want to propagate any sort of ages stereotypes But I will say that this 55 plus year old ice cream socials probably gonna be rocking some pretty gnarly fucking Butterscotch briars and not the good shit

Not that fucking caramel core fucking ben and jerry's they are going to have some straight up Fucking right out the tub right at the big old raunchy big old tub. That's the top fruity fruity out of the tub I've never rolled up to an ice cream social where I didn't see that like Big like five gallon bucket of just like signature select really pale chocolate versus I'm really like just a tan chocolate or perhaps worse the Tiny fluted cups with the paper lid you have to peel off like it's a party It's not it's not a party and they have those like really cheap ass waffle cones or they're not the way they're just like little hollow Dried out decayed husk of an actual ice cream cone. Oh bad news guys. I'm hungry for ice cream. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep

I'm hungry for ice cream I got the kids some of the they're like the drumsticks, right? But they're like miniature and I was like, oh, this is the perfect size. I can eat them in one fucking bite I'm numb numb numb numb. I'm a giant and I love ice cream numb numb numb I'm a giant and I love ice cream would be a good ringtone if anybody's still pulling Okay, listen all you gotta do is pick one person and stick at this ice cream social Just kept saying like yeah. Hey gramps. Just grab some ice cream before I finish painting your apartment. Boom You're in there right now. Now you're someone's grant. Hey, let's follow through

They say I'm not that far gone I'm I'm a medal of honor winner Get out of my building. You play wait. Fuck you. You call you play call duty No, you fool I was one of the heroes that proudly defended this nation so that you could continue to prosper and self sufficiency I do that too. We call it duty. Let's land my dude You who makes the power for your call of duty in tindo games

Who makes the the screens the bezels that you use to get the different pixels running around america? That's who The worker sufficient land of ours, but I'm a worker. I'm I'm a painter But not like not one of those artsy painters. Don't get it twisted. Okay. I was about to have you thrown out for a Homosexual now. I'm a real. I'm a real uh like working painter. Can I have some ice cream please? This is I could perhaps spare A nubbin of pistachio. Oh, thank you Um, this sucks. Don't I deserve the ice cream for my work? No says the man in washington You can't be my guy. That's no. I was being sorry. I was being andrew ryan

I've wanted us to get in the more characters. Okay. I want this to be my brother my brother and me Characters welcome. Thank you. Sure But I was being andrew ryan. Were you also being andrew ryan? I was old alternate universe andrew ryan where I never stopped being bad man I I hate to be this guy because I try to like Stand on some pretty anti-capitalist like footing most of the time But I will say this is one of those scenarios where you can get yourself

A tub of shitty briar sherbet For about 250 at sam's club And then you don't and then you don't and then you don't have to be in this situation But it doesn't but he's working bring it to work with what griffin okay ice cream to work with you two things griffin Yeah, two things one It doesn't matter the price Free ice cream is better than paid for ice cream. Yeah, just like donuts, but two griffin what you are fucking forgetting dude Is this an ice cream social there's at least gonna be jimmies

There's at least gonna be chocolate sauce at least jimmies. There's there's in this building in this building that doesn't provide Cool air they're gonna have jimmies like sustaining cool air. That's enough of a problem. Yes I agree that is an issue griffin But if you put social on the flyer and then there are no toppings at the very least jimmies Take them to court. I don't care about the air conditioning thing. You said ice cream social social That means toppings. I've made at least jimmies and maybe at least jimmies and at least sprinkle jimmies I'm not over here asking for hazelnuts in magic shell. You know what I mean? It doesn't have to be some crushed up Oreos I'm not an axe and Irma's in the in the hot the hot

Topping bathtub. Yeah, there's not gonna be cheesecake cubes or like cookie dough. I get that I get that But some ready whip some ready whip Yeah A jar of maraschino cherries. What's that like three bucks? I can't want to kill you Now those come on though. You don't want to clean up after that Well, you're gonna put down a cloth on the table in the rec room Well, anytime you're getting a lot of old people together you want to put down some newspapers Justin Patrick McElroy, that is not his middle name. It's not my middle name

Um, I I think just go for it. They'd be happy to see you there There's always ice cream leftover if they got just enough ice cream for these people once again Take him to court. Take this landlord to court If you say if you walk in there and say hey, um, it's a hot day and I'm gonna work really hard Can I get into that ice cream? They would be thrilled. Do you know how to be overjoyed? They would be to be able to share. Okay, girlfriend. You're making your face. No, they would be thrilled It's just when was the last time you were in a room with exclusively a bunch of They've got stories Griffin. They got stories. Let me finish

Sweaty 55-plus year olds who are now reaping the benefits of the sweat from their brow Which is to say briars and jimmies and then you walk in there with your fucking AirPods plugged in probably listening to fucking choppo trap house and They look at you with your fucking invaders m t-shirt on and your fucking wallet chain Wait, and you're fucking You're a little you've got it

You've got a doll Obama doll that you're just carrying around for and they look at you and like a ventrilo You want to eat Our ice cream That are past heroes of our nation fought for In desert storm You want our ice cream? Okay, um

I don't think I don't think so. Why don't you go out there and get your own hip $15 ice cream at a cool cafe or something. I bet you eat gelato probably Sorry, we don't have any uh dairy free Here you're gonna have to look they probably do though. I mean, they're probably Okay, you would think they do you'd need to have at least one dairy free option One other thing that we're not considering here Dada, okay. Thank you god

I want a munch I want to Griffin I like the mario s squad you were doing Welcome to munch squad its podcast within the podcast profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating I'm going to attempt. I'm gonna see if I can Show you guys Okay, I can do a chrome tap. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right good. Okay so this uh

Today we're going to be talking about a new Taco Bell menu innovation A innovation. No, it's not what he said Huh? Oh, oh What the Everything has changed Everything's different. It's so big. What is so big Travis to cheese it Justin. Well, that's the big cheese at tostada It's currently being tested in southern california for what would you pay? What wouldn't I pay Justin? Well, I hope

I'll tell you what you won't pay that's two dollars and 50 cents because it is 249 and if you pay a set over that you have been Ripped off and then did you say this is available at all locations now at all locations in california that are that it's being tested in The masterminds of taco bell and cheese it have come together for the ultimate test kitchen test The big cheese at tostada Just like the iconic cracker this innovation features a cheese at square, you know and love made with 100 real cheese ridges, but it's not It's now 16 times the original size Just like you would buy at any restaurant in mexico. That's literally the the sense it says is

The cheese that you know and love made with 100 real cheese ridges, but is now 16 times the original size um The collab were they paying by the word like it was an old timey telegram Should we put and ridges? No, no, we can't afford a man's ridges The collab creation tops the oversized cracker with layers upon layers of taco bell flavors for a limited time in southern california Which I love that they don't have to specify anymore. It's just like, you know, it's got a bunch of taco bell shit on Just let you get it the stuff we put on things

We put the leave-ins on it You know how we take we take a hard thing and then we just do some meat jazz in there For a limited time in southern california fans can crunch their cravings with this abundantly cheesy and nostalgic yet magically modern dining experience get fucked there are Few things weird that they put get fucked in their press release a few things that everyone can agree on but the iconic flavors from taco bell menu items And cheez-it snacks appeal to all sure to All

Yeah, everyone can agree that we love taco bell flavors and cheez-it snacks Uh-huh. We're thrilled about this new concept with cheez-it Which gives our fans the chance to experience the real cheese and crunch they love from both our brands in a whole new way Let me just say the real cheese and crunch parentheses for the first 30 seconds and then say goodbye to that crunch Until there would be enjoying the new orange slog bog I would love to see side-by-side pictures of this image and and then I opened the box That's not all uh a crunchier exclusive surprise

But by the way, they describe what it is, but it's a big cheez-it with like beef On it and sour cream and tomatoes and crisp lettuce and cheese Um, that's not all a crunchier exclusive surprise awaits for users of the taco bell website and mobile app It's the big cheez-it crunch wrap supreme. Huh, okay, okay Now i'm now i'm on board now i'm in something i can pick up you say like an original counterpart This version includes seasoned beef nacho cheese sauce lettuce reduce fat sour cream and diced tomatoes But the typical tostada shell is swapped for the oversized cheese at cracker before being wrapped inside a tortilla that's grilled to go This is the first time taco bell is offered a digital exclusive as part of a one restaurant test

Fans can get this cheesy goodness in the big cheese at crunch wrap supreme for 429 this partnership is a true testament to cheese its continued success and commitment to innovation Says stephanie miller president away from home kelog company We're excited to incorporate cheez-it made with 100 real cheese into taco bell favorites and deliver customers a bold cheesy twist on the iconic chains go to Menu staples so this is at they they roll the cheez-it But here's the real fucking kicker. This is at one taco bell location at two two two Baranca parkway Irvine, california nine two six oh six for two weeks

So please you have to get there and let us know how this is because it looks amazing now my question is Does taco bell have the strength do they have the power? As a the fortitude to just sell me a giant cheez-it Yeah, just eat the without taco mess on i don't want the mess. I want to pretend i'm a giant Yeah, just like a no you know no With a giant cheez-it you're like a borrower or a borrower. I want to pretend I'm a borrower which I think you were about to say or maybe just a tiny mouse in the wall One of those things but like I have two thoughts one the fact that they sell this un-crunch-wrapped is

Bonkers the only thing I want to eat right now is this in crunch right but crunch wrapped because un crunch wrapped You're talking about you the person at the taco bell window hands you into your car A Temporarily firm square piled high with mess that then like what do you you tell me imagine eating that yeah You're gonna take one bite and the structural integrity will immediately be compromised Lap of crap now your lap is the taco if you contain it in a tortilla garbage bag Which is what the crunch wrap would be that's a different story second thing Justin made us look at a jpeg of this for a long time

And I felt like it was that scene in big fish where the kids go to like the witch and she shows them the moment of their death That's what I felt Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you have enjoyed yourself. Uh, we've certainly enjoyed spending this time with you Um Thank and thank you. Thanks to everybody who came out to our shows a couple weeks ago I said it before but I wanted to say it again because I really appreciate you got some more shows coming up in july So make sure you go to uh, macaroy.family and click on tours and then you can see it It is important that you do that right now bit.i.y slash macaroy tours

Only two weeks away when you're hearing this and uh, we have tickets for the salt lake city my brother my brother and me and Limited tickets available for the san diego taz But the portland my brother my brother and me and san diego my brother my brother and me are already sold out So if you want to see it in salt lake city or you want to see uh adventure zone in san diego You need to go get those tickets now bit.i.y slash macaroy tours Thank you to montane. I wasn't done Well, you are for a little bit because i'm going to say thanks to montane for the use of our theme song

My life is better with you um slap that bad boy on the On the nicolodeon and just get ready to bump and boogie to it because that's what you're in for Uh, we also have tour stops coming up in washington dc, detroit michigan and sinsonati, ohio So get those tickets now You have to justin you gotta move to detroit so we can just do shows in cities that we live in. Yeah fair Um, we have new merch. We've got an approach the wizard shirt designed by dana wagner

This shirt is all time y'all like it's gonna blow your minds out of your ears. It's incredible It's a very very very good, uh old sort of, uh, Hobbit animated show esk It's so looking at you're probably beautiful. You're gonna love it Um, and uh 10 of all merch proceeds this month july We'll go to the trans youth equality foundation which advocates for transgender gender nonconforming and intersex youth ages two to 18 Go check that out. Uh everything 10 of everything sold. Uh macroi merch.com Uh pre-orders for taz 11th hour are now open. Uh, and that comes out february 21st 2023

I can go to the adventure zone comic dot com to pre-order. I also just wanted to say, uh, if after the news of, uh, the the, uh, supreme court of returning rovey wade and you're looking for ways to help Go to abortion funds dot org and you'll find a lot of state local and specific abortion funds that you can contribute to To ensure abortion access for people who need it Um, I don't i'm thinking real hard about not doing this anymore About not doing the important but now hold on. Justin did just say the fly. I have a good one for you I want you to do one of our nation's heroes that help this be a self-sustaining nation

Taking a bite out of a Cheese it to start okay, and then it all falling on their lap Yeah, now do we want to specify which hero or is this like a founding father? I don't want to be a specific hero just like one of our heroes that are stories. Okay. Okay. Okay Who are still with us or not with us with us? Yeah So not a ghost and not a specific person A ghost would be funnier though. Can I get a hold of her person? Well, it doesn't have to be like What if it's just like transported from the past to now? I just want to hear an old person get taco on their lap

Yeah, okay Hey, Phillip, this is pretty good. Thanks for taking me out for my birthday I'm eating this look I finished the whole thing without making any kind of mess at all Thank you, Phillip. I don't need a tissue. I don't need a napkin. I do need a tissue My do you want a second one grandpa? Who who the hell are you? Oh, I'm who the hell are you? What are you doing in my car? You're not phillip. That's phillip Wait, who's that?

I've phillip. Who are you? You're one of those macaroy boys No, I'm phillip. I promise now just sign this Hell out of my god sign this paper old man I'm a I'm a I'm an army god. I'm gonna put this taco on your lap so my brother can finish Now take this taco mess on your old lap. I'm done. I gotta take pictures for my brother Justin paid me a million dollars to do this and I'm Griffin macaroy This is for my brother. He gets to dance square on the lips My life, ah

It's better. It's better with you My life, ah It's better. It's better with you Is this true? It's better. It's better with too My life, ah It's better with you Maximum fund.org

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