My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 622: Face 2 Face: Leave the Cannoli, Take the Gun

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

This week's episode is our 20-Rendezvous live show from Portland, OR. We’re pros at giving advice but sometimes we have to defer to a higher legal power: Judge Judy.Suggested talking points: Suited and Zooted, Dr Dr give me the Phil, The Doll is Right, Meat Sweat Defense, Slim Badbody, The Shrek-Godfather Tontine , 4-H After HoursCenter for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Oh, Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree in his wall balcony, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? It's better, it's better with you Hello everybody and welcome to my brother and my brother and main advice show for the

modern era, I'm your oldest brother, Justin Tyler McElroy. I'm your middlest brother, Travis Tyler McElroy. And I'm Xavier Dark, my Xavier shadow raven, and I am a sorcerer. You know, they never talk about this in the books, but like 90% of being a sorcerer is just having the confidence to call yourself a sorcerer. This is Griffin's second night wearing a tuxedo. I will say, I will say the cape is new, the cape is for you Portland. It's not new, Griffin borrowed it from our tour manager Amanda.

Our business manager Amanda, thank you. And I will say that the fit is as such that it does make me look like Mr. Potter from It's a Wonderful Life. And it's also impressive because I don't know how he's done this like physically, the cape is on the outside, then jacket, but the cape is connected to the vest underneath the jacket. Everybody looks great. I don't know, I didn't see dad until right before we came out. I do not know.

He doesn't run any of that by us by management. It used to be that dad would buy a t-shirt or something at the airport that had like the name of the city we were on. And now he's gone, I don't know. My favorite part of his intro was when he suggested that he is paid for his services. I saw dad and Travis standing next to each other backstage and it occurred to me it looked like if there was a New Sherlock Holmes movie and you turn it on and then five minutes in they come on the screen and you're like, no, I don't think so.

No. I think, no. Did he just say, did he just say his name is Maury Farty? That's not it. That's not it. Anyway, this is an advice show. We're so thrilled to be back here in Portland, Oregon. We ordered, we, how can I, how can I, you know that spicy lettuce you guys like so much.

You should have. We haven't consumed any. Yes. Act two, suited and suited is the thing. No. No, no, no, no. Don't work, Howard. There's no way.

There's no way. You could have seen us tittering like school children backstage as we legally purchased recreational drugs. It, it, it's just me and Travis like, look, this one's called Obamacare. That's pretty good though. That's hilarious. I like anything that sounds like the name of a cream song, you know, where it's just like soda pop dreams.

And I'm like, yeah, that's my thing. I want to go to sleep 10 minutes after the show's done. It's, I couldn't possibly be harder to choose like, I'm looking at them and they're like, this one's fucking chock full of resin. And I'm like, yeah. Yes. Yes. Good.

And then I start thinking like, is that too much resin for me? Can I handle that level of resin? It's resin. Like wax. What's resin? I think it's demoralizing on purpose to keep the squares out. I, I purchased weed in Texas a few times, which I can say now because I don't live there anymore.

Yeah. Good luck getting them now, Ted Cruz. And I would be like, oh, excuse me, sir. How much of it can I get for this many? And they'd be like, you got to have, I've got the newest, I've got cheetah piss. It's the newest strain from the backpack boys. I'd be like, yes, okay. I love it.

I love it. Justin and I were also like those friends at a restaurant where someone's like, I think I'll get some fries. I'm like, well, if you're going to have fries, we're going to be like, yeah, maybe she gets just like, well, if you're gonna, if you're gonna let me, let me just look at the menu. We're real bad boys doing this thing. You all do twice a day and we're cool. We're cool.

And hopefully did it before this because it will be better, I guarantee. And we won't. We did have a brief discussion about guys, maybe this is the one where we just second that come out barmed out of our monster. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen. Stop. No, no, no, no.

Are you think, you think right at least one third of us though by which I mean me would be so paranoid and weird. I would say something and you guys would laugh and I'd be like, why are you laughing? What did I do? This is an advice show, and we have emerged here in Portland, like our friends, the Chilean miners, who dug their way out of the ground with their own bare hands. They don't talk about that enough when they tell that story. They burrowed out of the ground with their own bare hands?

And then they saw their shadows and went back, and it was six more weeks of winter. We're going to help you now. Are you ready to be helped? We're going to fix this town, guys. There's so many of you, it feels very nice. May I please unbutton the vest, please? Yeah. Let's take a vote.

Oh, wait. Yes. Okay. Erotic. Erotic. There we go. Let it breathe. Okay.

Today, I saw my pup's breeder on an episode of Judge Judy. Portland. I knew that the breeder was having issues with another breeder around dog ownership. I mean, I didn't think they were arguing over the rights of the matrix. I assumed, but I didn't know the details. How can I casually bring up that I saw the episode and would love to know more? I grew up watching Judge Judy with my mom and would love to get some details about the judge.

We all grew up watching Judge Judy with our mom. That goes to that saying. It seems a little insensitive to ask. The episode was from last year, and the ruling was a little bit of a mixed result. That's from pondering pup owner in Portland. Are you here? All right. I love the concern that it's insensitive to talk about the private matter of them being

on Judge Judy. It sounds like they got their ass beat. No, it's a mixed result, which is always what you want in court. I am. You're both guilty. Yeah, 50-50. Yeah, there's a, listen, I say this at 80% of my cases, both sides were in the wrong. Let's just come together.

Now get out of here. Get out of here, kids. Now make sure to stop in front of the camera on your way out. I can set a one thing for you conclusively. I guarantee that your dog breeder saw Judge Judy for the exact same number of seconds as you saw Judge Judy on television. I guarantee, Judge Judy had five episodes to film that day. I guarantee Judy's not coming out beforehand like, so how's everybody doing?

Can I get anybody anything? Anybody need anything? They give me all the pretzels I want. Come on back. We can have some pretzels. I got store brand LaCroix trailer if you guys want anything. Yeah, it's not lemon lime. It's just like lemon or lime, but we can pour it into a big glass.

It's a bit warm. Yeah, you are. I bet we can find some ice if you want it. Can we get ice? No ice? Sorry guys, no ice. Yeah, I heard Judge Judy does five minutes of warm up stand up. I want to show you all some paintings I made earlier today.

Hey, tell me, does this look like a dog? Yeah, I do shadow puppet stuff. You guys like that? Not your thing? Okay, I'll just get up on. Of course, the person wants to be asked about their time on Judge Judy. You guys know, hey, this will be a very specific reference, but I bet there's a few people. You guys know anybody that's ever been on Jeopardy?

Okay, do they want to talk about anything else? Because the people I know that have been on Jeopardy, make sure you know they've been on Jeopardy. Yeah, the idea that you would ask like, hey, I saw your episode of Judge Judy and they would be like, oh, and I can't. I can't. You weren't there. You don't understand.

I signed an NDA for the thing they aired on television. And also, I love this because it occurs to be hearing the thing of like how often we get asked how to casually ask something like, you're like, hey, so saw you on, you know, Judge Judy. Like, just say like, I saw the episode of Judge Judy. You don't have to be casual. Be excited. Yeah.

It's awesome. I don't believe Judge Judy has the power of subpoena. I don't think you can, I don't think you can involuntarily be on Judge Judy. Give me five minutes with him. I'll get him to talk. Yeah. Judy, your methods, we can't condone this. Turn the cameras off.

Judy, no. What? I'll break you. I thought this was just normal court. What's with all the cameras? They put makeup on me for normal court? Oh, no. It's her.

Did you guys, you guys know, this is unrelated sort of, but I accidentally watched an episode of Dr. Phil. You don't have to say accidentally. I accidentally watched two episodes of Dr. Phil because it, wait, the first one's an accident, Justin. No, I accidentally watched two episodes of Dr. Phil because it was connected to a podcast I was listening to at the time where that episode was referenced. So I was watching the episode.

So on purpose. Was it? You sought out the episode of Dr. Phil. You were a subscriber to fill me in, which is, no, but do you know Dr. Doctor, give me the fill. No, but do you know that that, do you know that he has an, was it his own podcast? He has podcast. No, no, no, no.

He's not on the podcast, but he has his own podcast and the podcast that they were promoting in this episode is called anatomy of a murder with Dr. Phil. And it's just Dr. Phil, like, I don't want to go. This is how I did it. This is how I would have done it. This is how I break murderers. Like, I don't think I want that from you. Wait, hold on.

So you listen to a podcast. They referenced an episode of Dr. Phil. You watched the episode of Dr. Phil and on that he promoted his podcast and then you listen to that. No, I didn't listen to that. His podcasts are over. Do you know he does have one called like fill in the blanks though? Hell yeah, he does.

Yeah, he does. Do you want to do another question? Uh-huh. Okay. I'm tucking in my shirt. I'm in my 30s. So I guess it was just time. I've never thought about it before, but do you think when we start reading these questions

at live shows, someone in the audience goes, start tucking in my shirt? That's me! I'm the shirt tucker. I love when they dub over Samuel Jackson when he's like, you shirt tucker. Thanks. Get these shirts off this mother tucking plane. I recently started tucking in my shirt. I'm in my 30s.

So I guess it was just time. Yes. However, I work in construction and all the bending down and moving around pulls my shirt out of my pants constantly. Are you doing backflips? In order to re-tuck my shirt, I have to loosen my belt and stick my hands down my pants, which is a weird look when people catch me with my pants undone while I'm working on their kitchen countertops or whatever.

Oh, because it's like you're enjoying your genitals. You could have found a more tasteful place to fix yourself, to get yourself situated. You step over into a corner, you face the corner and you do your business and no one sees. But if they do, they'll think at least he's politely masturbating. Is there anything I can say to people when I'm elbow deep in my car hearts? Not that though. Well, I was elbow deep in my car hearts on a Friday night.

In the back of my truck bed with my hands in my car hearts, but they weren't the only hands. If you know what I mean, yes, ghost hands like in Ghostbusters one, you guys ever seen that? It's weird. Am I right? How could they make a new Ghostbusters and not have slimer in it? Come on, guys.

Slimer doesn't get anybody off the whole movie. Are you ready for some football? It'd be cool if that ghost kept calling him through the whole movie. Like, hey, I thought that was never gonna happen. Hey, I just never heard from you. And that's where the term ghosted comes from. So that deserved better. No, it didn't.

And I know all of you guys crushed it. Is there anything I could say to people when I'm elbow deep in my car hearts to justify or gloss over the situation? Just saying I'm tucking in my shirt feels a little if your voice breaks like that at the end. I'm tucking in my shirt. Don't look at me. God, I'm almost finished.

I'm 41 years old. I don't know. I'm Greg Brady. And every okay, just saying I'm tucking in my shirt feels a little he doth protest too much. That's from tucking troubles into Portland and it says here alliteration is not my strong suit. Neither it seems is discretion.

What are you? Are you here? God bless you. I got it. You ready for this? Yeah. You're gonna need to sew your shirt into your underpants. Excellent.

That's really good. Sew your shirt to your underpants and make a Velcro front so you can just rip it open. There you go. And then every time you reach up to install a countertop hinge or whatever, you'd be like, countertop hinge. I'm ripping myself in half. No surprise hugs. That is as far as I can hug right now.

Suits are not made for hugging. This is why business dads are so distant. The dad and Mary Poppins was a great dad. Mr. Banks can't physically hug his children. So he makes up all these excuses that he has to hire someone in petticoats to hug his children. That's how restrictive his tuxedo is. He's sewn into it.

Sewn into it every morning. I mean a belt. A belt doesn't hold the shirt and it holds the pants up. No, it just gets in your way when you need to fix it. Maybe what about like an elastic belt where there's some tension there? Great. Okay. And then what about longer shirt?

What about really, really, really long shirt? Oh yeah, screw that shit. Yeah, screw it up. And then at night, a sleepy time, you light your candle, you have a bit of potato soup. Loving it. You learn a lot about love. Put on your tussle cap and slip on off to dreamland. It'll be beautiful.

I have great news for you. Anytime anyone has ever been in my home to do any work whatsoever, impressing them is my number one priority. I am not letting them know how ignorant I am of what they're doing and making them... I can't think of another word other than proud of me. I've been meaning to ask you both, do you do this thing when someone comes into your house to fix something? Do you ratchet up your West Virginia accent like 20%?

Oh yeah, baby! Yeah, I need to tell you like, yeah man, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what's happening. Yeah, I also check that. Yeah. I mean, life, am I right? To build on Justin's point, I think the answer is whenever you are caught adjusting yourself.

And if they have the audacity to say something along the lines of like, what are you doing? Just look back at them and be like, this is part of it. Do you want these countertops installed or not? Do you want hinges on these counters or not? How are you going to get to the sink if I don't put hinges on these counters? When is a good time to tell this girl I've been talking to that I've released an acapella album? Oof.

What's the right time? Rock 4. Oh, you're liking this, huh? You're enjoying this, eh? Well, surprise. Check this out. That's right. I love, what have you made of an acapella track, but you just did the backing vocals?

I couldn't find anybody else to sing with me, but you get like how the rest of it would go. I do all the... Don't get me wrong. I love when that member of acapella went on a solo career. Don't get me wrong. Acapella is pretty cool, thus the album. Yeah.

But telling someone about it, nah, nah, nah. That's more abrasive than saying you're a SoundCloud rapping career. When, if at all, should I tell her? That's from Connor. I should. Are you here, Connor? All right. Woo.

That was perfect. What was that? Like a bee? Uh, you definitely should at some point. Yeah. Ah, man. It'll come out at some point. Wait, hold on, Connor.

Connor, Connor, Connor, Connor. Be honest. Is it good? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. That's Connor. I actually have a little bit of life experience with this. Many years ago, we were in Portland here and we got high on drugs and decided we were gonna

get into trolls too. And part of the recording of that podcast, we would frequently feature our, um, Tough as Nails mean, mean, mean guy. In a different time period, gangster. Yeah. He's like a really mean guy and his name is Joel Beglighter and he's our agent. I mean, he's not mean, he's just a tough guy. And we found this track.

He's just tougher than us. He's just tougher than us. Just a low bar. A low bar. And he's got, um, he did, uh, he was in an acapella group in college called the Brown Derbies, right? And we found Downeaster Alexa by the Brown Derbies. If you could find that on Spotify, Paul, in which he was the lead soloist, he was the

lead soloist. And we were so jazzed to find this because we were like, we fucking got a crack in the armor. We finally got a cracking Joel's armor. And then we were like, Joel, guess what dog? We got you. And he was like, did you listen to it? And we were like, yeah.

And he was like, it's pretty good. Right? We're like, yeah. It was a beautiful chair of angel from Jesus. He's like, yeah. So it was pretty cool that I did that, I guess we were a great group and I was like, yeah, I guess it was pretty. Yeah.

Joel, you got us. And that's, wait, you got to listen, listen to Joel here. Joel's going to sue us now. Well, all right. So good. It's infuriatingly good. Does that one shut up? Thank you, Paul.

Thank you, Paul. God, it's good. So I think if you lay down, I think if you lay down some sick shit like that Yeah, have a play and next time she gets in the car I think you do have to play it first because if someone told me I made an acapella album And now I'm gonna play it for you. Oh boy. I would need a fucking Texas Instruments graphing calculator to figure out my facial expression I could not know way Know how could I have the right face for listening to that?

But if you're already listening to it, you're like, this is good. Yeah, I like this Connor. Here's my advice You're gonna walk into this backwards. You're going to be like whatever the conversation is is if it's about like, you know Projects you've worked on hobbies. You've had whatever you can say like, well, yeah One time, you know, I put together an acapella album and they're like you did and like yeah I'm pretty good. They are inevitably going to ask to listen to it. And you're like, I mean, I guess we could which at that point It's great. But if you went into it saying I'm going to play this but you can't do that No, no, no the next few seconds between that announcement and tell you press the play button are going to be the worst Seconds of their life. And here's the thing

Trust me from experience Please don't try to stream it because I guarantee. Oh God It will play two seconds and there's a lot of it's just buffering. Hold on one second. Oh, no There's some kind of hold on. Wait, the blue to visit. It's only coming through the left. So you're only get Hold on. Let me go get my big speakers. Hold on I Swear I charge this before I hunt Paul was all Paul wanted us to mention that he used to be in an acapella group called the Vinci's Notebook

If you've never heard their shoehorn with well, they're still in it. They just don't get together anymore You don't leave an acapella band You've probably heard them because you downloaded a Lime wire or Kazaa version of shoehorn with teeth that said it was by Moxie Fruvus and it turned out it was actually by Paul Yeah, so that's where what a pleasant surprise. Yeah, what a treat for you Another question We got a haunted doll watch, okay Okay

Okay, no, sorry ironically I was watching Ghostbusters after life backstage Let me just move over to Chrome Travis watches movies so that he can tell you how he doesn't like them Yeah, a lot guys. I've heard Travis Travis has been watching Ghostbusters after life for four days and I have I have ADHD Yeah, I've heard four different reviews of the film based on how much he has watched Yeah, so he's like so I watched the first 20 minutes of this movie And it's like let me tell you what I think and then he has done that to me three other times like so I'm 75 minutes in And here's where I'm at. Yeah, man. I didn't want to hear about it at all

My experience changes as the movie goes on Boy, you are furiously looking at something on your phone. Yeah, it's got me really worried. No, don't worry about it Don't worry about it. Okay. So I this is my version of haunted doll And Whenever I do a bit I like to gamify it. So I like to call this the doll is right Okay Okay, so here's what's gonna happen I will describe the doll and you'll see the pictures and then you guys are gonna guess the price of the doll good

Paul please bring up the first doll Spirit of sky Hanna doll Spirit of sky giggles laughter loving Can we get any more information? Yes, we can welcome may I present sky? She is the fairy spirit She is quite charming. She can be silly funny then very serious She surprises me all the time

She will give you a vivid dreams Always come to me during meditation. Whoa, the scale is so different from what I thought it was The first couple look like a doll and now it's on some fern golly shit And is very responsive to anyway, you would like to communicate I don't need that She can be very mischievous and likes to be spoiled Her favorite thing is to hide small items. No worries I have always been able to find whatever she is hidden because she didn't hide them because she's a doll Yeah, I

Will send a candle herbs from my garden and a stone for you to welcome her into your home The doll vessel is in a sitting position with her swing About myself. I've been doing 40 years and then there's a whole nother paragraph But it does continue is my favorite line. My mentor was my late great aunt Maude Some say she was a witch. I Believe she was ahead of her time. She preferred to say healer. She did not like to conform two words This is a lot of images of this end of description. So I'll start with Griffin on this one griffin. I feel by the way like I'm going to get it to the penny. Okay. How much griffin?

1399 Justin 3999 Paul reveal 99 cents That's a starting bid that's different from the shipping is 814 Well, there's a stone in the box. What do you want? Hey, guys ways 11 pounds guys. It's tour manager Paul Just so you know, I'm following this along live right now in the time This has been up on the screen the bidding price has gone up to 66 dollars

Somebody make that 69 bid real quick. Come on. Okay ball next doll Active what? That's not the name Haunted demonic doll active found while digging Paranormal scary creepy the blue censor bar is so fucking long I've never had people this close and being able to see people recoil and terror from the dolls is really something else I Purchase and re-home haunted dolls and items from all over the world The pair uncovering my wiener with a cross

The paranormal has been part of our lives forever We're very shovel. I use wait a minute. They just They took a picture of themselves breaking ground like I bet there's a fucking scary doll under here My dowsing rods are going wild This time we brought our metal detector and struck gold how creepy is this Wow amazing the doll is sold by itself. Oh my god, it's wrapped in plastic We can clean it up for you or just leave it as it is You fucking freak

You'll never see my wiener. I died on ash Wednesday All right, this is on price Justin we'll begin with you Wow, okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna hit you with this $80. Okay Griffin a hundred and thirty one dollars reveal She says Two hundred and seventeen American dollars. You all rack that one up. Yeah, probably not, huh? That one's probably going unsold tonight

Next doll. Oh My god show the picture wall This is a simple description for this one Todd is a beautiful artist made doll He is 19 in his long and does great with an SLS camera and outings on paranormal investigations He is one of a kind. I'll say okay Griffin your guess I'm going to say I'm gonna say $170 Justin, I mean to a Jim Gaffigan collector. This would be huge

But you're gonna have to find the right audience for it To a common person this might not stoke their interest, but it you know, it's everything's worth what we're willing to pay for it So what's the number just the number for me is going to be thirty nine ninety nine the buy it now price is 295 dollars, I love how it says condition used You're telling me this isn't fresh off the shelves at American girl next doll Oh We have two more. Oh my god Travis. Oh, I like him. This is fun

This is haunted paranormal a handmade four and a half inch thread doll three. Oh ill intent excuse me ill intent, please read We purchased this aggressive man at online auction from Wyoming. Have you seen this aggressive man? It was listed as a handmade talisman used for ill intent and misfortune That's a shame rude Please note some have questioned the spirit not interacting with them in items They have purchased from other sellers spirits have their own personalities

Sometimes it does take them a day or two or even longer to adjust their new surroundings They don't do parlor tricks and if they choose to hold off on interacting It is their right to do so 0.2 doesn't seem especially haunted, but but it is red I guess that's right. Okay, that lets you know. It's pretty haunted Justin your guess. I'm gonna say Trav on this one 3999 Justin or Griffin I said 39

I'm going to say 3998 Reveal 13 bucks 13 bucks. I mean to be fair. It does say it's bad They said this is made for bad reasons One more Haunted Raggedy Andy doll active paranormal demonic voodoo

Ritual spirit just looks like a raggedy Andy doll though I want you guys to keep in mind there are two prices here the bid price and the buy it now Which one is higher? The buy it now prices. Okay. Yeah, it would be weird if they were like starting bid is higher than if you just want to Buy it away, but okay Dark energy attached keep it away from kids Bring into your house with caution eBay wants description short. Why that?

eBay wants description short when it comes to paranormal or supernatural any questions, please Message or your answers by buying item and asking vessel yourself Then one of the most poetic lines I've ever read Not everyone has a connection to the spirit world and that is okay What salsa is hot for some may be mild for others That is not relevant to the topic at hand Justin let's start with the starting bid price my starting bid on this one is gonna be 39 I'm gonna say I'm gonna say

$199.99 okay, and then Griffin. Yeah the buy it now price I'm going to say $1,000. Okay Justin $220 Paul reveal Griffin once again say your two bids, please $199.99 and the buy it now prices $1,000 For those of you at home The starting bid was $200 the buy it now was $1,000 We're gonna be back for act two in a second. Have a great intermission. We can't top that

Hi everybody Travis here Griffin is still moving, but it's going well. He should have his Internet all set up soon, and then we'll be able to get back to recording episodes But in the meantime, we sure hope you are enjoying these live shows and we hope you are well in all things But right now I want to tell you about stamps calm Having to drop what you're doing to make a run to the post office is a major pain not like the movie major pain That's a different thing That's probably too dated right do people still talk about major pain I don't know maybe maybe it's time for a major pain comeback doesn't matter stamps calm is your

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How do you explain these gains shirt designed by Lucas? Has been hide who is at Mooseley based on Twitter 10% of all merch proceeds this month will go to the Center for reproductive rights The Center for reproductive rights uses the power of law to advance reproductive rights as fundamental human rights around the world You can find all of that at Macroy merch.com Also, we have an ad survey running right now through the end of the month It's our annual survey that helps us try to make sure our advertisers are well matched with our audience

If you go to maximum fun org slash survey, you can find it there. It really helps us out Thank you so much the pre-orders for Taz 11th hour open now That's gonna come out in February of 2023. You can go to the adventure zone comic comm to pre-order And we still have a couple shows in the 20 rendezvous fancy takes flight to her you can find all of those Shows and buy the tickets and everything at bit.ly slash Macroy tours the November shows are in Washington, DC Detroit and Cincinnati mask and proof of full vaccination or negative COVID tests within 72 hours of event start is required Thank you so much and now back to the show Hey, it's John Moe host of depression mode a podcast about people's mental health journeys guess who we got guess who?

It's Jamie Lee Curtis. I look at life now as the game of guess who which is simply the process of elimination I know what I don't like. That's how I found out who I am Jamie Lee Curtis on addiction show business and fooling people all on depression mode for maximum fun wherever you get your podcasts Well, Manolo we have a show to promote it's called after game show It's a family-friendly podcast for listeners to make games and we play them with callers from around the world No, sounds good new episodes happen every other Wednesday on maximum fun.org. It's a it's a fast and loose Oasis of Absurd innocence and naivete

You're writing a poem. No, and just saying things from my memory and it's a nice break from reality Is that a real out to say that? I don't know. It sounds bad. It comes with a 100% happiness guarantee Come for the game and stay for the chaos I Want a munch One two munch That's the hardest polls ever work out anything amazing job Paul Welcome to munch squad. It's a podcast within a podcast

Profiling the latest and greatest in brand-eating and Today we got the meats Because we're talking about Arby's baby Some Arby's heads in the house some Arby's heads in the house. I don't you can blame you This is legitimately the watt. I mean, I don't want to hype it up too much, but this is the widest thing I've ever seen All right, are you ready? I don't know okay old spice wait and Arby's

team up for high mistakes Collaboration I Don't want it to smell like Arby's or taste like old spice Well good news neither of those is happening Because to get oh man It's a collaboration to conquer the meat sweats

With A limited-edition meat sweat defense kit drop. Oh my god. Oh Shit, oh wait, it actually says meat sweat defense on it old spice and Arby's Have joined forces to tackle the meat sweats Arby's is really taking a beating in this brand part Like this had to be old spices idea right for sure thinking is like, you know how your gross people eat your gross We'll fix it. Remember how your food's so busted that makes people a sweaty pile of mess Yeah, we'll put a sweaty sandwich with a sweaty pack of sweaty sauce on the bottom. You want to fix our stink dogs

Yes, please no longer with the the long-lasting sweat protection of old spice sweat defense dry spray No longer will you live in fear of that treacherous moment halfway through a delicious Arby's half-pound roast beef sandwich? When the dreaded meat sweats strike with a vengeance Okay, what the okay fuck live in fear. Hey You know what I was thinking maybe we could have Arby's for lunch. No, no God not again Not after what happened Dylan's baptism is it for? This our food's delicious

But halfway through it you might get so yucked That it makes you sweaty from it and the people around you want to barf the Arby's they just ate and listen I know you person reading this. You're the worst. It's ever To defeat it. It's gotta be right. It can't be this bad for everyone. Can it? No, just you to defeat it once and for all you need You need to learn to close off your pores We're gonna cauterize your pores the limited edition meat sweat defense kit now available at Arby's shop calm Don't waste your time. I bought them all

The key he's gonna you're gonna come home from towards him and be like you smell like not beef What'd you do? I was the first time in forever. You've been open in my mail The key defense against the meat sweats is drum roll please anti meat The old spice defense dry spray with its 24-7 sweat and odor protection Hey, I don't want to quibble, but if I have the meat sweats, I sure the fuck hope I don't need 24-7 It actually I'm looking at maybe just a nice cool 30 minutes, right like both the uh stick and the spray say 48 hours How bad are these sandwiches fuck you up? No graven breakfast today

Breakfast lunch and dinner my dude. Yeah. Yes The half pound with roast beef sandwich, which I have to say is not depicted in that image There's no way that is not a real roast beef. Uh, it might be a big montana or something, but it's not anyway Uh, each meat sweats defense kit is equipped with two dry sprays in popular sense that protect Guys and let's be honest. It's just guys with this product protect guys From the meat sweating potential of the half pound roast beef sandwich. They are they are naming names This specific sandwich is notorious for meat sweats

That's not all notorious notorious. That's not all Alongside the dry spray will be a one-of-a-kind viral worthy roast beef pattern meat sweats sweatshirt and sweat pant With a What with a co-branded towel and headband Paul Sabor and let's see it baby. No, no, no For those who can't get their hands on the limited edition kits Old spice and arby's legendary commercial creative minds came together to create an iconic new advertising spot Featuring the old why does it define defense?

Um on the box it has the definition of defense Paul if you can find that That old spice guy arby's commercial that was directed by rug Rugrats no rigs Howard and produced by uh weed and candy and fallon fans everywhere We'll be able to check it out on youtube facebook instagram and tiktok quote a Collaboration between old spice and arby's makes all the sense in the world Oh You can say whatever the fuck you want

It doesn't make it true. Oh, I thought it I thought it was saying makes all the sense In the world come on beef good smell This is the spectrum. It makes all the sense in the world to hilarious. What's that? Sorry arby's just hired you griffon. Yeah Something something smells like uh like lavender on a hot dog. Yes It makes all the sense in the world to hilariously solve the age old problem of the notorious meat sweat also defined sweat Listen, it's very can you imagine buying this kit and not knowing what meat sweats is I'm just a big old slice head I'm really glad there's a clock on the stage right now because I feel like I've been thinking about arby's for about an hour and a half

Okay, it makes all the sense of the world to hilariously solve the age old problem of the notorious meat sweats That we've all faced at some point in our lives Yeah, we all remember the first time we faced meat sweats in our lives Technically all sweat is meat sweat if you think about it. Oh my god. That's deep griffon old spice continues to find unique ways to surprise and delight fans with signature humor and unexpected partnerships that remind them of the importance of long lasting protection Even if they've just eaten a half pound roast beef Do you think at some point the roast beef the half pound roast beef sandwich is like, okay?

I love all those for sure. This is all so funny If we could pick other sandwiches to highlight that also provide the meat sweats that would be so choice for me Like if you say all of our products, then it just sounds you're having a bit of fun This sounds accusatory It feels a little targeted At me a sandwich the mountainous half pound roast beef sandwich isn't the only place the old spice has been lately What beef tastic brulee ha ha?

began this past week when the old spice guy made his presence known on the streets of new york handing out sweat defense dry sprays Arby's gift cards and these meat sweat defense kits It's like if someone handed you An antidote and I was like and also here is poison Decked out in an old spice and arby's suv Which I assume will be in my driveway at some point through hooker through crook

The old spice guy even ended up in the meatpacking district to tell them that arby's has the meats And they said no, you don't actually don't eat it. We know we pack them here and send it to you You have some of the meats, but you can't claim all the meats Whether you are eating a meat mountain or a half pound roast beef sandwich or just a nasty boy Arby's is thrilled that our guests have access to this innovative solution that helps them fully enjoy the meats While avoiding the sweats We are big fans of old spice products and creativity and it was a no-brainer To have a little fun with them on this program if i'm jim taylor arby's president if I'm gonna be so bold

Maybe next time let's try at least a half-brainer Or at least a three-quarter brainer You can buy a meat sweat defense kit at arby's shop.com No, it's still there right? Meat hyphen sweat hyphen defense hyphen kit for 60 dollars. They're all gone. I don't know why I read that Um, and you could get one of these kits. Maybe check the bay because they aren't on Arby's anymore. So check eBay and maybe they're there Anyway, that's the meat sweat defense kit that was

A journey can you imagine a brand like Deep like absolutely annihilating themselves to that extent. What would it would be like? McDonald's started selling you a co-branded partnership with hefty that lets you capture all your farts in a bag All your everyone knows about McDonald's farts and now you can put them in a bag Every quote from arby's in that article did sound like it was written at gunpoint. So maybe Okay, incredible Hey, we uh, we have some questions from you all that we have chosen to address. We will We will call you down. Uh, the microphone is right here center stage behind these two people

Don't mind them back up if you need help. Hello. Hello. Hi. Who are you? I'm Nathan. Hi, Nathan I just started a new job teaching hackers Yeah, hell yeah. Yeah, I teach at an online academy for hackers and I don't know what the appropriate dress attire is Okay, first off. Thank you, Nathan. Thank you, Nathan for this gift. Thank you, Nathan Teaching an online hacker class dangerous. Yeah, is is the if they show up and had to pay tuition Are you like you already fucking failed? Yeah, that's it Uh, he's the end of the class and present my social security number I mean first obvious question if I'm going to plan an outfit for you white hat or black hat

Uh, officially Are you gonna say you teach a dark web black hat hacker class? Let's say white because I've been wearing a wire this whole got you, Nathan Well, first of all, I assume you're already like hot glue and glow sticks like to your jackets That's important. Yeah, function. Yeah, bandolier Oh, yeah, absolutely. No, that's kind of what I'm realizing now is a lot of my references are from the movie hackers and the tv show reboot Yeah, and that one episode of ghostwriter. Yeah, I don't know. Oh, yeah, that one. Um, what do you normally wear? Uh, well, I own a lot of shirts that are themed after breweries

Okay, okay. Yeah, if I yeah, I I could see that on a hacker I say this to your fucking face Okay, here's you need to get a t-shirt that says typing noise typing noise typing noise. I'm in Oh, that's good That's good Can you wear like part of a keyboard on your chest and just occasionally be like Just when they're not really paying attention That could be cool

I could probably get away with it. Yeah, maybe a power glove Oh, shit And you're like here. You're not making any progress through the ice. Give me a second. Do you Do you have and I hope you realize now that this is going to be the whole bit Do you have or know someone who can get you access to a katana is that I know lots of people He wears brewery t-shirts and teaches hacking classes And he does that on my brother and my brother in my live show

Yeah, I know lots of people that can talk about katanas. I don't know Okay, real good. Any other you have to go to the dark web for those. Yeah Uh, okay, what are there other hacker teachers teachers? Yes, it's a code. What do they wear? I I imagine it runs the gamut. Yes. Well, the other teacher is like 55. So like okay I don't know what they're bringing. Okay, Nathan, you ready for this When someone uh, whoever performs like the worst on a test or whatever the next day wear a t-shirt with all their information Oh my god Said co-teacher actually did hand out his credit card information yesterday as a dare

Um, okay, not a great dare Get a shirt with your social security number on it. That would be so cool. What an amazing just have a say good luck. Find me Yeah, oh, what's that? I'm broke Oh man, I got everything Nathan. Does that help that helps? Hold on. I'm not done Thanks, obama care You have it just be like a word jumble that says the word internet and the first student that gets it, right? You'd be like That's an a plus right there and rails fails

You shelf my jumble You made me stop for that Yeah Does that help Nathan just walk away? Okay. I can't be responsible for real less so now, but yes We actually anti Thank you. Hello. Hi. My name's zaza. Hi zaza Um, I was the one with the shrek and godfather question. Yeah, you did Let's hear it

So it is my partner's sense of pride that he has never watched the movie shrek And it is my point of pride that I have never watched the movie the godfather. Why don't you all want to watch good movies? Sorry, sorry, Travis. It's a exactly. Well, why doesn't he want to watch shrek? Uh shrek is a good movie. It's a good. Yeah, sure. Yeah, basically the same as godfather. They're both good movies So you're saying you want to do like a movie swap except you don't have to watch the godfather in the exchange Okay, yes No, but usually if someone says as the point of pride it's like I've never sharded or something like the idea of like as the point of pride I refuse to watch like

a film that Now everyone's trying to emulate in cartoons or a film that everyone's trying to emulate Hey, you know what's fucked up? I bet you there's I bet you everyone on earth has either seen shrek or the godfather Yeah, I bet you there's not more Okay, obviously quick poll and be serious. No, everybody hands up. No, no, okay. No, this will be these. Yeah. Yeah, okay Everybody put your hands up. Okay. Hands up. No, I don't know. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. No, not in the cool way Yeah, no one hand up

One hand up now drop your hand if you have seen the godfather and don't fucking lie If you've never seen the god, wait, no, if you've seen the godfather, put your hand down If you've seen the godfather, put your hand down. Okay, if you've tried to put your hand down, right? Shrek. Yeah, put your hand down There's like there's like four Four four soon-to-be best friends I need to tontine The last person to watch either Or the godfather or die gets all the money

Hey, listen, here's what you do um You fuck you send him tiktoks from the movie shrek Until you've sent him every scene in the movie. Yeah, legally if he's seen 51 of shrek, he's seen shrek Right. I get up if I go to the bathroom during a movie. I still say I've seen the movie I got up three times during top gun maverick because I was bored It's not me. It's not it's not the movie. It's me. I sat down 10 minutes and I'm like, I don't fucking like planes That's my fault. I went and saw it. Anyway

If you said no, no, jesson, please continue on with your full review of top gun maverick If you send him enough tiktoks to where he's seen 50 point 001 percent of shrek, but don't spoil the ending. Oh That's right the twist then he seemed all right. It was donkey the whole time neither of us have tiktok. What oh Okay, you should have warned me about that. What is there other places with videos? Um YouTube I guess you could send him youtube videos of shrek until he's probably seen it over half of shrek Oh, you could take no just started finding find shrek on youtube and started with like you got to watch this hilarious video

You could You probably would only need to clear 47 minutes or so if you could eat that griff go out of 47 You could take nathan's hacker class and then just drop clips of it in Combined two Okay Does that does that help? Yeah, just every time your partner tries to call their mom. It's shrek I Are you are you serious about getting out of this because I have a 100 full group way. Oh, yeah

Watch the godfather part two. Are you serious? Oh the part the part two Where's the director watch part two and then tell him Hey, I watched the godfather part two. I didn't really get it. I guess I don't really They'll be so furious that they will drop the entire enterprise I guarantee you can also do this like start godfather. I'm like, oh no, actually I think I have seen that it's like with the whole mafia thing Yeah, no, there's like Yeah, he's the reference. Leave the canola. Oh leave the cannoli

I'm like leave the gun take the canola whatever it is. Why would he leave the cannoli? You We just did a murder. Why would you leave the gun leave the cannoli right there? Why would he leave the murder weapon? Yeah Um, so which one is he leaving? He leaves the The murder weapon he leaves the murder weapon at the scene of the crime. Yeah, because once he gets you leave cannoli No, they're going somewhere else and I don't think I've seen godfather. Listen

Here's what you do. You watch five minutes of shrek five minutes of godfather five minutes of shrek five minutes of godfather This is how eventually it's one movie. It's one movie. You're watching it on two screens Can you watch them at the same time? Yes. I feel like a Operioscopic 50% no one TV 50% Opacity godfather channel shrek right channel godfather a dual screen moment. Okay. Yes. No one Yeah, that helps so thank you brothers. Love you guys I'm starting to feel like this is our greatest live show ever All right, I want Amanda just said no

Thank you, Amanda. Okay. Hello Uh, hi Hi, we're a podcast. What's your deal? Um, so I'm kate. I sent in the question Hi, kate. I'm kate hands in the audience Um, uh, I sent in the question about rabbit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure sure Go ahead. Um, okay. So I And also let this be a lesson to you if you ever come to another live show, you know, like I think my question will get answered This is the new baromp. Like this is the new

Okay, no pressure. Okay. Oh, yeah for sure. Um, so I Volunteer at a 4h county fair every year. I'm the rabbit superintendent and And this year I got to attend and as the rabbit judge and you were the super attendant And so Um The problem is is that today was the breed class and I had to judge all these rabbits Yeah, um, so I had to pose them all and you have to go through every animal in the barn and um, there was a problem that arose because when you're handling all of the female rabbits

And all of the male rabbits the male rabbits smell the female rabbit And they start sort of just going to town on your hands arms body and you a k you've showered since then, right? Yes Very very much. I mean, I don't have dirt all over me. So you can also tell from that Um, so I'm sorry that you had to say that Hey actually from now on if you're at If you're at one of our live shows, I would like everyone to just mention I don't have dirt all over me. Anyway, it is it's an audio medium. Everyone might not know if you're listening to this later

I do not have dirt all over So what I mean the rabbits are getting down. Is it the problem? Yeah, so they well do completion if I remember Are they going to completion? Yes multiple times throughout the show wait multiple times per rabbit Kate it's it's what rabbits are known for. Um, is how many jizzes they do they like carrots They like carrots. They give me eggs out Easter There's a lot of clarifying There are a lot of other things I know about rabbit rabbits other than they like to jizz a bunch. Yeah

So basically I mean there's a whole show circuit and there's like people who do like judging and stuff I thought you're about to say that people who walk them off He can't he can't show right now. No one's wax him off yet. Give me a second. Hey Kate It's rabbit. Sorry. You don't okay. I'm sorry to ask this question. But I have to know. Yeah, do you deduct points when that happens? Or do you add I give him a blue ribbon, but I'm afraid he jizz again excitement

I I did I did give all the rabbits that finished I did end up giving them all blue ribbons I didn't It's how it worked. I I didn't deduct points. They were all good rabbits. What can I say? I hope you were locking this in your memories in amber Because no one will hear it again after tonight. Oh god. Okay. Hold on. Okay. So my big question, of course, I thought Yeah, what do you have about this? How do I stop the rabbits from jizzing on me? Yeah, for sure for sure

But hold on Is there a Is there Is there a How high does the bunny hop Contest as part of this not not as part of the no that's that that's that 4h after hours That's where the bedding begins back alley What are the can you give me one of the other criteria that they are judged by?

It's like it's like a dog breed show. So like, you know, the good the shape the the density Okay, how do we how dense is the? Like You like a you like a thick boy. It just you like a buddy. Okay, not the yeah the rabbit the rabbit If there were people by the way, if you're listening this later, there are people close to us who have physically turned their bodies They are recoiling. They're no longer oriented towards us performing. They're oriented away from us to other directions That's good. I love that if there was a how high can the bunny hop contest? Do you think there would be a judge? Stopping the bunnies from hopping so high and saying don't hop so high bunnies

Well, of course not. This is a Sorry y'all invented what is essentially a jizzing contest You cannot We have to stop talking about rabbit jizz now Hey, Kate. Kate next time judge the boy bunnies first Does that help Kate? Does that help though? Sure. Yeah. Okay. Thanks everyone big hand for Kate Hello

Hello, I'm Owen. Hi Owen. How are you? Oh, all right Um, I sent in a question about getting perma banned. Yeah. Yeah, all right. Oh from the 4h rabbit show I guess chanting's not loud Oh, and how did you get first? What's the name of the bar? Uh, it's space room. It's over on Hawthorne Well, hold your horses. Yeah, hold on a second. You don't know this tale of what oh and what happened My birthday was wednesday and so So I went out and drank with some of my friends cool ended up at the space room

End of the night comes around last call happens My friend charlie decides to whip his pants down in the middle of the bar Wait, no, it's not as bad as you think gone. It's super bad And I end up getting super fucking enjoyable when you have to finish with like they mooned you not just whip their pants down Yeah, there's two sides Dumped it out on like in front of our table. Oh pressed ham mooning. Yeah. No, this is this is very charming Dumped it out could also I'm just saying this is like a tasteful mooning This is not the first time he's done this either. Okay. Yeah, this happens in a lot of bars

No, he's not. Oh, thank god. Okay, because I'm gonna say some mean stuff about him Wait, but that got you perma banned the target not perma banned Not you I'm perma banned. This is what I'm saying. That's messed up. That's not fair. You didn't do anything I don't how do I get on band? Did you hold on take him to judge shooting? Did you did you did you laugh though? Oh, of course I did Now I also think the context that it was last call actually should provide some leniency because that happens at 9 30 p.m Right that's a perma ban two 30 in the morning. Like yeah, we love it. I mean did this bar did this bar serve charlie?

Yes, you could make the argument then that they are culpable, right? Like you gave this person so much boost that they're mooning people You got a cut of you provided windows right um How do you get perma banned? Have you tried to just walk back in? Yeah, sure This is a development. Picture of you or something was a story all of the bartenders know me I used to live like two blocks. Oh, okay. All right. So it's also the fun banning. We're like, uh, you get out of here No, it's the not fun. Apparently they don't know you well enough to know you're not a butt weirdo. Your friend is

Ah Have you tried wearing a mask that says like not about weirdo? It's important. It's a mask for some reason. Um, otherwise it's just written on your face griffin You could you could bring a tray of my mom's world famous chest bars Oh, that's gonna get that would be nice bring a nice baked good in and then you should be like, I'm sorry about all the butt Fuck that. No, what are you what are you gonna write on the card? Sorry? My friend showed me his butt and you kicked me out of here forever That's fair. If that was a stranger, who moons you

They're not gonna kick you out. So it's your friend. How is this joking about judge judy? I'm starting to think it's the appropriate. This is kind of I wasn't joking. Yeah, I think it might be the appropriate venue for She would love to get her hands on this one. Yeah, all right. So let me get this straight Hold on. Let me put no at pretzels. Let me get this great. So you're telling me this isn't a custody battle They didn't like paint your car weird. Thank you christ I don't know why our judge judy sound like that. We're so shitty sounding like judge judy Um, oh and do you like the bar? I do Sounds like a cool bar the way everybody cheered at it

Wait a minute There are definitely worse things that have happened there too. Can this be one of these times? Where we abuse our power As taste makers And so if you go into this bar just be like you should really let oan back in it was not oan's fault that oan got moon tonight I'm just saying Not tonight because I don't want to be associated with it. I want to be in san diego california

Would you lead a lay miserable? Style revolution down the streets of portland. Do you hear the people moon singing the songs of angry men? Oh, and does that help? Yeah Hi Hey right off the bat, I want to say thank you to tyler reid for the beautiful poster. Yes Thank you Uh incredible rachel jankos for making the trip all the way out here to record us. Thank you rachel is covering her mouth In a I might throw up kind of way. Yeah, okay. Yeah, we're gonna get a thumbs up from rachel

Uh, thank you to uh, emily and michael r.a.s.l. interpreters Yeah Wait, hold on. Sorry. What is that sign? I love it. What's that? I think that's applause track. Yeah Yeah, thanks to paul saboren Thanks to our dad Our dad bill from true blood Thank you to amanda for managing our business and cleaning the microphone and letting me borrow this is a great cape Hey, you know what thank you to montane. Yes for the use of our theme song my life is better with you

And griffin real quick and thanks to the arlene schnitzer concert hall. Oh, it's a beautiful place Uh, real quick griffin. We always close with a celebrity impression. I would just love to hear your impression of a rat jizzing Just one rat. Wait, hold on you a rabbit. That was my favorite part of ratatouille. I miss what is this a mushroom A rabbit jizzing No, hold on more of that griffin. No, no, no only a rabbit jizz. That's just my patent oswald impression. Let's hear a rabbit jizz Do I Travis don't help him The show doesn't end until you make a rabbit jizz come on griffin

One noise baby. Come on bring it home for him. Okay. Shh. Shh quiet silence silence griffin in the show Oh, yeah Justin macaroy I'm Travis that girl macaroy my brother my brother me kiss her that square on the lips Oh Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported you