My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 623: GooMail Me

Episode Date: August 15, 2022

Extremely important breaking news: Justin has a new very pretty kitty. Absolutely nothing else matters, not forwarding that evil chain letter, not eating revolutionary French toast, not learning to whistle better. Nothing.Suggested talking points: Grizabella the Pretty Kitty, Victorian Skeleton Well Boy, My Eyes Are Gleaking, Unlock the Old Man Krav Maga Poem, Social Interaction Cheat CodesCenter for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up you cool, baby? Precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better

It's better it's better It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome my brother and brother meeting my show for the monster there I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-wiz brother I Yes, it's true. I have a pretty new kitty Is olive or Olivia? Hello. I'm a pretty kitty now look at that special cat Is that her real name? Justin because we were told a different name yesterday. Well, she came home and her name was olive and then

The girls decided grizzabella, you know the glamour cat of course Cats the movie that we all love that I love you love we all love yes in our play and Then I Sydney and I decided we're gonna keep calling her olive Protests, which you usually don't do to your kid. You don't usually do a protest. Well, it was gonna be an evening name Yeah, I thought you're saying the inverse I thought you were saying in the evening time when the Jellicle cats Historically do come out in prance that is when she becomes grizzabella Well, we I think we can agree that the only confusing thing about cats is What is a Jellicle name? What's the human given name? What is their chosen name?

Right cuz it's three different one fucking kitty. Look at those little Toby cuz you can't tell me that like Jenny any dots It's the same as like rumple teaser. Those are two different worlds that those names exist in planets Look at that kitty. Is she changing color to match your shirt? Is she a community wild if I had a chameleon kitty She's so little we record this show on video now, and that's what happens is the cat comes It hangs out sometimes I guess I was sitting on your shoulder like a pretty little parrot They get sweet pair on feed and she likes you, which is nice She's a nice change of pace those to my other cat that I just like me You let's see ask her

She loves You got a beauty blog that kitty you're dismissed. Oh, it's gonna stay here on my lap Mr. Miggles oh Biggles were no mr. Biggles worth. Oh man. I shouldn't name. How many bad cats How many bad mystery like cats that were not not well loved do you think we're named mr. Biggles worth? Yeah, I just I you know right until this moment when you say how many bad cats or whatever And it made me think what if like mr. Biggles words are like that cat that blow fells was always hanging out with What if they were really nice? What if those cats were like?

Couple beauty babies like a rude Justin went away. Yes kitty went away. It was distracting to everyone and we can't do our podcast I want the kitty on the show instead of Justin there. I said it. I want three kitties on the show instead. Oh my god Are you kidding me? Oh, I used to not like my brother my brother me But now that it's silence with occasional purse. It's good. It's a good show Have you played that that weird mod of stray where it's just three brother kitties and instead of exploring like Much yeah, they're just recording a podcast. I love it. I don't reference turbo teen as much, but yeah Okay, cuz it's that's three pretty kitty boys. They talk about mice a lot more. Yeah

All right. Well, I feel like all the oxygen got sucked out of the room the moment the cat Yeah, definitely. We should just call this episode This is this is this is um, this is actually perfect. Oh, okay This is actually perfect like Connection here because I am desperate to talk to you guys about a podcast called Hank the cow dog Now, I don't know this. Okay. Good. That's perfect. Actually So I was listening to blank check and they were talking about I don't know how they got onto it, but they start talking about Hank the cow dog and

They had just discovered existence and then I in turn discovered it through their discovery and I just want to tell you guys about Hank the cow dog. Oh, please Okay, the self is it funny or is this like are we getting really pop culture happy? I want to talk to you about the cast Okay, okay. Does it include a dog? It stars Matthew McConaughey as Hank the cow dog. Okay. Good start Good start, right? It also include it's written and directed by Jeff Nichols An executive producer by Jeff Nichols There's nothing Hank who also McConaughey served an executive producer Justin, I hate to stop you real quick, but I think there's been some confusion

You said podcast but clearly this can't be a podcast because it like has one a celebrity in it and then two you said it's written And to record. Yeah, you're not actually supposed to write them I think you're talking about like a movie or maybe a TV show or like a radio drama Okay, so Jeff Nichols did direct Matthew McConaughey In mode the movie correct and now they're working together again with Matthew McConaughey as Hank a Spiritual successor to mud. I haven't seen it, but dogs love mud Jesse Plemons as Drove, okay, sure Kirsten Dunst as Sally May John R. Erickson as well as the buzzard Michael Shannon as

Sinister the bobcat Joel Edgerton as Rip and Snort and then you got Leslie Jordan and Cynthia Riva bringing up the back of this this this incredible cast This incredible cast of United for Hank the cow dog a five episode event Now if you were to tell me when this series was released, I bet with a little bit of thinking You could carbon-date it to almost a month. Can I guess? Yeah, I'm going to say June 2020 Wow Travis Wow

August of 2020 Little bit in post there a little bit of post work to do like Michael Shannon really sound like sinister You know everyone I was trying to wait wait wait stop It does not take much work to make Michael So I met Michael Shannon for eight seconds at a restaurant Yeah, I want to be like I pissed my pants and somehow he pissed Michael Shannon's pants. It was amazing I thought he didn't have any food yet. And so I bet he won't mind if I go say hey to Michael Shannon So I walked up and he looked up at me like we're eating

What are you eating? No, he didn't really say that what a pleasure it is to meet you Griffin. Yeah, I'm a Hollywood big shot Michael Shannon now if you'll excuse me, I'm learning my lines for a bobcat roll I'm playing sinister It's the role of a lifetime Nothing else is happening. No, not Justin. I'm sorry. I hate it right. This was years before He played said he was just preparing for a bobcat roll knowing it would walk. He was manifesting I'm gonna be a bobcat It's not really what he sounds like it's weird they didn't come back to this one after the sort of pandemic

Restrictions were lifted for Hollywood types. Yeah, not a lot of return. I think they just made those five and then kind of Did it well pot podcasting is hard man Not everybody can put out 600 some episodes, you know what I mean like a lot of quitters out there Apparently, it's funny you say that trap apparently according to an email or received I Said an episode like 12 or 13 that this would be the final episode This one we're recording this one recording recording right now six, whatever. I mean, what we should have prepared more I don't I don't think of it I don't think of it as episodes. No, no, it's a conversation. Oh

I just Okay, it's jazz. I Regret to inform everyone It's jazz. It's jazz. You've been listening to jazz this whole time We didn't know I've been hearing jazz and it's not but kind of jazz. You're enjoying dad likes. Oh, okay Sorry. Yeah, I got ahead of the thing That happens sometimes when we're jazz when we're just jessin. Oh, she's just sitting behind my monitor What a stinker I bet it's warm back there. Should we do advice? Yeah, let's do advice

I'm in the process of moving and I have no chairs to sit on and I eat in my place now and eat No place to sit and I got my clauses have weird emphasis like kitty clauses I'm in the process of moving and I have no chairs to sit on and eat in my place Okay, I have no chairs to sit on and eat in my place now. There we go I ordered pizza for me and my roommates. That's nice And then they left to get drinks while I waited now the delivery driver has given me the large 24 inch That's large. That's big. You gotta turn that sideways through the door feet of saw That's one foot shy of a big foot. Well, no, it's a two feet. It's a two feet

Diameter, but I'm sure if we could do a little bit of pie our squared calculation We can figure out what the what the actual area of the pizza is but yes, it's possible actually you cannot figure out area of a circle Damn, does it matter? I tried it's people tried But that's something important thing the important thing is the only place to put it and eat is On the ground in the living room You don't got a kitchen counter. What you don't got kitchen counters No, the only place to put it and eat is on the ground in the living room The living room has a huge window which he can clearly see me from the driver the driver and he has been sitting

In his car for about three minutes, and I've just been standing with the pizza behind a column So you won't see me sitting on the floor. That's good You're good at this eating off the floor You're doing good alone I didn't so far the job you're doing is except is exemplary. Is this a ridiculous should I care this much or just do it? I'm so very hungry again. This is a large and they they have a look house here a large 24-inch pizza that's I do you think that's important older that is important that it's a lot because if the driver rolls up You're in what sounds like an empty apartment like empty bear

And it's just you and you ordered a large 24 There is is I'm just gonna say a slightly disturbing imagery that I'm getting yeah for the driver You need to set up a sort of home alone shadow play Situation on the curtains and blinds. I mean you don't have furniture in your house So I'm gonna assume you don't have a big inflatable clown and a talk boy. You know what happens when you assume I guess that's fair really good point. Thank you. I want to say 24 inches pretty big Yes, there was a place. I used a Mediterranean place

I got pizza from in Austin and it's called arpeggio grill and they had what they called the giant 30-inch pizza That they had to slice so I think we had some of that when you boys were in town from my for mine and Rachel's wedding Correct, and it's such a big pizza and they have to have slices really thin and it looks like a clown's necktie And they had they had you slightly angle it to get it through your front door if I remember yeah And in my in the the trunk of my Toyota matrix anyway, I think Speaking of something you boys can see behind me. I have nothing That is the rules are suspended when you have just moved in a way that you would be It would be a shame for you to waste that opportunity

This is the time where it's okay for you to sit on floor and eat pizza Some of my most special memories in the last house that I lived in was just sitting on the floor with my with my My fam my buds. Yeah, and just gobbling down some peteries burgers on the ground on the ground Special because you're connected to the root of it where the where the burger came from you know how much you appreciate Having table and chair. Oh my god. I have also used to sit on the floor. You'll say I was a delivery driver for Jimmy John's for a while, which I'm sure talked about. Yeah, I'm The driver does not care three minutes feels like a long time, but let me tell you a little secret He's just for him. That's three minutes where he's not at work. That's all he's thinking about baby

Is that three minutes appeared from his? Yeah, the moment that door shuts because there's no way that this is the first time a pizza delivery driver has delivered to someone moving Into an apartment as Griffin has said it's such a common connection of like help me move. I order pizza. I'll just say it to Three minutes. Maybe that guy should roll on out You know, oh, see maybe he should roll on out Maybe I'm gonna say three minutes isn't that long three minutes is a lot imagine someone pulling up outside your house and There look you notice it that car honey that car's been there for three minutes That's a weird amount of time to idle outside someone's home. Okay. I here's what I'll give you

You are correct. I've never been a pizza delivery driver. Maybe he was like Noting it in his logbook or something Depending on which side of the equation you're on three minutes is a long time if you're in the house looking out Three minutes is a long time that they're sitting there If you're the driver and your friend sends you a great long-form tiktok and you're like, well watch this for you at the road I want to be responsible and not watch tiktoks while I drive and they don't let me watch six Then three minutes is nothing Right, but I get you that's about how long it takes to pack a ball of that green stuff, which I bet

Oh, I say not to catch not to catch I had a dilemma yesterday I want to bounce it off the two of you speaking of cars being in places where they shouldn't be for a long time Lightning McQueen shut up one to fight you he wanted to fight me for the love of my wife. Whoa, not again Someone left a car in our driveway in the morning and at first I was like, oh, that's weird Someone parked in our driveway like who who does that? It's a one it's a one-spot DC driveways that we and we don't have permits to park on the street is very Inconvenient, so I was like, I bet they'll move it a couple hours later still there. I was like, that's weird Anyway, I'm gonna check the mail open up the mailbox the keys to the car were in the mailbox

What someone had someone had delivered an automobile into my possession Incorrectly and there was no information on whose actual car it was How did how did how to do it how to how to do the thing? I had to drive it push it in the street street and just leave it all the police I had to move it so that I could park in our driveway, so we wouldn't get a ticket you got into this illicit So I got you got your fingerprints. Let's go. What is stole a car? Yeah, I did do a grand theft auto for like so you fell for the bait car You got your fingerprints all over it. Yes

Griffin my innocent boy my young my young naive Gentlemen your assumption that someone incorrectly delivered that car and not dropped like what could be a Like murder clue. Yeah, you're a driveway And they're like this is a Griffin's problem now Yeah, and And then what did you do? Oh? I I moved it out into the street and I left it there for a while and still nobody came to get it

So I went door-to-door and fortunately like on the third house. I went to but those first two houses You didn't drive it, right? I did have to say I was like, yeah, so it's nice to meet you. Yeah, we're just across the street I drove your car, so we'll see you at the pop. No, it's Christine. You can't drive it Yeah Hey, can I do can I do a wizard? Oh, I'd love that griff. Yeah, do a wizard on us. What do you think Olivia? What do you think she wants? Stephon sent this in it's how to not get creeped out by a chain letter Okay from school or work you take off your shoes turn on the TV and check your email

You look around and see a message you read it and you realize it's a piece of chain mail with a threat Wait, hold on. Can I jump back real quick the series of events there turn on your TV and check your email? There's a disconnect there and then you look around and see a message like what where's the information? Coming from in this scenario the TV the air around you. Yeah, a trap. I'm scared shitless right now So we could just power through this if you don't forward it to 10 people you'll get a frightening consequence What do you do what to do this how to explains how to deal with this also works on comments such as sites as YouTube Okay, yeah, sometimes I am just trying to You know ASMR myself into

the sweet oblivion of sleep and I'll be scrolling through and it's like if you don't Like this comment 69 times then Your dad is gonna fall is gonna gravity will reverse for him. He'll follow up into all now You've seen these letters. Yeah, YouTube comments This is why I hate to spoil it, but I assume this comes up This is why whenever I go to a place like bed, bath and beyond or like a Yankee candle And they're like, do you want to sign up for like our email newsletter? I say yes, and then I when they email me I write down that email address

And I just keep ten of those right next to me ready to go shotgun. So awesome So when you get one, it's like your gravity gravity is gonna reverse. Yeah, dad He'll fall up into space if you don't send this to 10 people. You'd be like, what's up? Bed Bath beyond what's up Yankee candle all I'm saying is I heard circuit city didn't forward it to 10 people Look at him now. Yeah, did you guys um? Have you all when you're at the the store and you're checking out they're like Just need your email address and your phone number Have you guys ever made up fake ones to avoid having to say I'd rather not give you my email address

Absolutely, I have no I'm Devin's not getting paid enough. You don't think Devin you don't think Devin would like that, too No, not I'm the eighth person to type in stinky cheeks at goomail.biz that day Stinky cheeks 69 we could not secure stinky cheeks at goomail.biz. Yeah, well I had to put an underscore in it to be quick real quick. Yeah, you guys think Yes, think goomail.biz is available, right for sure, right? Hey, Justin. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's gonna hurt our brand I think in the long run you think goomail.biz I don't think so juice snatch that up for me. I'll pay you back. Sometimes the bat biz can get a little pricey

Let's see how this does do it Goomail Goomail.biz is taking it. I knew it How could this be? Goomail.gov I could goomail.me That means goomail.me bro. Goomail.me bud. Shoot me a goomail. We got goomail.goomail.fun Goomail.me was it we found it. It's goomail.me. Hello. We're a goomail. An orc

We're a regular non-profit. We need to sell goomail.com or just gift it to our favorite non-profit and be like This is it. This is for you now. This is yours now. Okay, so let's get into the article. I'm not buying any goomails If I can't get goomail.biz, it's like not it's now. What about all goomail.com? Get goomail.com Get goomail. Okay. Okay. What do you think? What is the chain mail? Is it BBQ at my house? I won't like it if you don't come. If it is, you're fine It's not really an alarming thing just a friend who expects you to show up It might be sore at you if you don't if not continue on I would say that's an alarming thing

Yeah, if someone sent me a message like hey grilling up some some sweet beefy boys at my house I won't like it if you don't come That's not really sorry article a chain wheel. That's called an invitation if someone is chain mailing invitation It says invite 10 other people to this. Yeah, that's wild. That's lazy also Don't get drawn into reading it usually at the top There is something such as don't read this or stop if there is you should stop and to lead it good advice in general Chain letters often tell you to read or don't read as a ploy playing on your initial curiosity So you read them they'll eventually hit you with a bunch of bologna designed to push your panic button or use any other emotion

You have against you for one purpose only to get you spreading it further So I guess if you get email and it's like read this or don't read this then do the opposite But here's the problem. I get a lot of emails from my doctor with important like test results I go like once a week just to get random tests whatever they got and they'll usually test Travis here any new tests today? Yeah, we got three new ones. Which one do you want? Surprise me? Yeah, I was this is something I want to talk about remember me characters. Welcome. Yeah, we're doing a scene Okay, that was a scene of vignette. That was a skit. Let's get a skit. I want us to get better about skits

Okay, I'm gonna play everybody in my skit and I feel like it's not fair I've been meaning to talk to you guys about this when we're not recording but like this yeah, yeah Now do it here. Yeah, this is don't double up on the skit. Let other people have fun with the skit with you, right? Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. You want to try it again? Okay Fucking with you. Yeah Sorry, honey. Daddy's trying to whistle. Sorry that your daddy's a bad whistler Travis here any new tests today? I've got a gun Oh

Holy shit. I've got a sword gun Wow. Yeah, you win No, I don't want to be in this skit. Oh Hey, who's that at your door? This is my little brother Griffin. He's recording a podcast with me. Hey, what's up? He's got a gun too Yeah, look out. He's got a slur gun and he loves tests I'm instigating this. This is the this is one of the worst kits we've ever done if I if I may we should stick to one person

Yeah, I think it's better. So if you get an email that says oh like don't read this or stop Then don't read it and do stop Stay rational and sensible often the email or comment will be some story commonly about some monster or a fictional dead kid attacking people Don't lose your head and get scared. There is no such thing as monsters. Wow or Dead kids attacking people you've known that since you were small no chain letter is going to cause what? To one to blip into existence to kill you or anyone else You know dead people are dead and can't go around attacking you pulling you down It's some non-existent. Well or do any of those things that you suppose

So specific your dad's ex-boyfriend Darrell. Is it going to come back to your house? I don't know shit about shit. First of all, I know that up till now that hasn't happened But also up till now I've always forwarded every chain letter. I've ever got correct. So we've got a chain of chain letters You don't want to break that chain. Yeah nice. I try never break the chain Victorian Skeleton boy, but you will never get me to go in that well cuz you're not real You're not real and the well is not real either, but if it is I did forward the chain letter So I have nothing I'm doubled down. Yeah Understand it's hard when you're a Victorian skeleton boy and you just have like a really cool rock collection inside a well

And you're like come check out these rocks and they're like no, you know, like I'm not I just want it You can't have a house When you're a Victorian skeleton in this economy in this economy, especially not The consequences of not following along with the chain communication do not exist after you read the story It will say something like if you do not send this to 10 people you will die in two days. I assume through some sort of Victorian well boy I Think will this happen to you will you actually die because you didn't send an email

How is it even possible I made up story in text and pixels created by some anonymous hoaxer can actually kill you well I don't know I know if I knew that then I would be the one sending right Harry murder You can't say you can't say will it happen because there's a whole point is I don't know Right. I don't know the future. I don't understand the What the author of the scary Victorian skeleton boy chain letter email gets out of it unless they're like Send this to 10 people and also here's a link to my bank camp. Yeah, I've got a new I've got this I've got a really hot new sound. I've been working on check that out

Oh, the hot new sound will also keep the scary Victorian skeleton. Well boy. Oh, yeah, so things Subscribe to smash that like button forward it to 10 friends or the skeleton boy is gonna. Well you really hard I wish I could be there when this person finds this article like, okay, Valerie calm down. It's okay It's just a chain letter. We're gonna get through this. Yeah, just go to yahoo. Let's go. Yeah Now this step is fucks me up step 5 don't send it to anyone else doing this stops other people from getting it and passing it on and getting worse Okay, so you do want me to be Drowned in a well. Yeah, which is which is which is it which of the two things is it because you're telling me not to be scared of

The chain email and in my personal experience That means giving into the demands of the chain guys I figured it out. I'm gonna solve this whole thing I'm gonna fix fix chain letters for good. What it's gonna take is 12 brave souls, right? And then it's gonna be a full-time job But every time you get a chain letter, you're gonna forward it to these same 12 people, right? And then they're gonna forward it to each other and just as chain letters come in We're just gonna keep sending it to these same 12 people until eventually we've created Like an echo chamber for every chain letter until it's just these 12 people bouncing it back and forth through each other

It should be 13 I guess because you need one to send it to 12 others, right? Right, and we're just gonna bounce it around and contain the energy now God forbid when one of them kicks it I know boy. This is going to become like a night to the round table Thing of like you're gonna have to find somebody to take over but we're gonna love this You know we call it what the unbroken chain and it's a group of people that just keep passing around they protect all of us Yes, it's not a chain letter toilet that you just flushed in that endless that is also the secret society from Adventures on graduation, but that's fine. No, but that's how they got started, right? Oh, okay. Very good

Equal to this is a prequel to our pretend Cast yeah, just different from this podcast Are very real This one gets fun keep the email even if it is absolutely creepy keep the email and smash it Write out all the things wrong with it and make yourself laugh at the utter ridiculousness of the story and the threat attached Keeping the message is a good way of stopping a troublesome email. Are you tell someone teacher parent friend don't tell someone Tell someone teacher parent friend, etc. You have proof of getting this unwanted email teacher teacher Check this out, please. I'm going to show this to you

I'm not going to forward it to you so the curse will not be But I need you to know that I have been threatened with a well boy and I think about it. I guess that we're getting into semantics though, right? Because yeah, you're not mechanically forwarding electronically forwarding it But you are like moving the information in the brain the digital data is how the curse is transmitted Okay, see I've never seen the ring for obvious reasons But I do know that in stories like the ring like there's always that moment like you heard about it Check this out. There's no way right and like that idea of I like this thing of don't take it seriously

But don't not take it seriously like just contain at least let the buck stop with you So that's how to not get creeped out by a chain letter Confront the sender if the person sends you three or more emails tell someone else you've already told the teacher I guess get multiple Just sort of hands. Yeah, tell someone out first you tell the teacher and then the vice principal and then the principal That does the chain of command. It doesn't go any higher. That's why it's called a chain letter. Yeah. Yeah You pass it on up the chain to your principal. Yeah. Oh, no You're vice principal. Don't take that. Don't hey get this off my desk

I'm the principal of a major middle school. I don't have time for chain letters. Take this to the associate vice principal I'm gonna have to talk to the superintendent about the letters to me and then I give them to president Joseph Biden And he for it's them to our nation's greatest enemies and then the well boy hunts down terrorists New from Amazon Prime well boy, well boy Well, well boy, you're a last hope sending this to Kim Jong-un Kim Jong-un well boy you and Dennis Rodman are gonna work together on this I'm not working with Roman no more. I can't trust him. She hit me in the wheel

Get me Jack or that was Dennis Rodman's voice Yeah, well boy sounds like this. Yeah Well boy has seen some shit Boy's been in a well or two. I guess I don't think you get to be a Victorian well boy skeleton child without being a little bit jaded Well, I've seen a lot of the inside of a lot of wells pal. Once you've once you've pushed Non-forwarding strangers into a well or two. We'll talk about it Changes yeah changes you've been down in a well for so long. Hey, can we try to do? You hear about this Jessica

Baby Yeah, well boy, I'm sure you bring that one up a lot well boy. There's not a lot of famous well characters I just didn't finish the job and it's my fault. Oh, no, she had sinned Jesus well boy. Yeah, baby Jessica was a creature of sin and I was trying doing my best like that one part of the leftovers She ended up okay, though, right? I don't want to talk about it. Fine. Okay adorable and evil She'll forward every fucking letter. She receives this kid. This kid's for it Menards flyers that she gets just to be just to be extra careful. She's not going back to the well And that's what I live for. That's why I'm in this business, brother

Damn if I'm gonna give up wells for you or anybody I might try a sister in her to just to see how it goes Watch a video of Macho Man Randy Savage on our city a haul and our city hall is like does the Macho Man ever cry? He's like, oh, yeah, brother the Macho Man experiences the entire range of emotion Yes Fuck man fuck. Yeah, dude Let's do the money zone but in chain letter format so we get the most sort of Impressions we've got in our lives got it. Let's go

I Squarespace is the all-in-one platform for building your brand and growing your business online Stand out with a beautiful website engage with your audience and sell anything your products content you create and even your time You're so and tell everyone what? In your soul Sell yourself for the chain letter your soul this still not That's still I don't think anyway Tell everyone you know about Squarespace and share this episode of the podcast with them or else

You will have a a bad time with it when next time that you are at the Bus Building mm-hmm. Yeah, it Whenever you're Do you like having all your How do you feel about your bones Squarespace is an all-in-one platform for building your brand? Maybe that's it Maybe we just sort of it's a power of suggestion

Every Squarespace website and online store comes with a suite of integrated features and useful guides that maximize prominence among search results And you all and you stay healthy and strong. Oh, maybe we chain it like that. Oh making a positive chain letter Yes. Yeah, like you you want to do you want to get like cooler and bigger and Be able to eat more chicken wings in one sitting. Yes. Do you want God to build up your finances? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah great news my friend Stacy had a real bad finances problem and told everyone that she knew about Squarespace and God sent her like a grip of cash My smallest friend Dwayne

Was feeling real puny and he used Squarespace and now he's the rock. Whoa turn into the rock. Yeah. Yeah overnight Whoa, nobody talks about how Dwayne the rock Johnson got big right, but like you never see teen rock It's always this young boy rock and then big man rock Yeah, there wasn't a teen rock because he he's forwarded on this incredible chain advertisement for Squarespace And he got huge and God gave him all the finances he needed sell your products on an online store Whether you sell physical or digital products Squarespace has the tools you need to start selling online and getting huge and rich Mm-hmm create pro-level videos effortlessly the Squarespace video studio app helps you make and share engaging videos to tell your story Grow your audience and drive sales. Here's the story. I want to tell I used Squarespace once my dingle-donger got huge and I got a hundred thousand

Whoa in the mail from who I don't know. I don't know it was an empty It was an envelope with nothing on it. That was actually from me. I wanted you to invest that I Got a letter from the census bureau that's like, hey, we're doing this thing on a national survey of children's health Will you fill it out? And I was like, uh, I guess so and I looked further in the letter There's a five dollar bill inside of it. You know, they were doing that. Thanks census By myself with three musketeers. What were we doing? Advertisement. Yes, go to Squarespace comm slash my brother for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code My brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain and we probably should say here

That this we're having a really fun time. Yeah, absolutely Clearly it's a but these are not these are jokes in Squarespace I think would be pretty PO'd if we didn't say that like when we said that all of your bones would revolt and leave your body If you don't tell everyone, you know about this episode of the podcast in Squarespace Then you put something bad will happen to your bones or God will make your business rich That probably won't happen Legally, we have to say that here at the end. Yeah, but it definitely will but wink Hi everyone, I'm Adam McLeod and I'm Alexis B. Preston and we host a show called comfort creatures

The show for every animal lover be it a creature of scales six legs fur feathers or fiction Comfort creatures is a show for people who prefer their friends to have paws instead of hands unless they are a raccoon hands That is okay. That is absolutely okay. Yeah. Yes every Thursday We will be talking to guests about their pets learning about pets in history art and even fiction Plus we'll discover differences between pet ownership across the pond. It's gonna be a hoot on maximum fun Hi everybody, my name is Justin McRoy, and I'm Sydney McRoy doctor That is true. It's important in this context because we host a medical history podcast called Sobons. Oh, I thought we were gonna we shouldn't

Sobons. Sobons isn't afraid to ask the hard-eating questions like our vaccines as safe and reliable as they want us to believe Yes, do I have to get a flu shot? Yes Okay, is science a miracle? No We have a lot of great history for you and a lot of laughs and sometimes the history is so bad that there's no laughs, but You'll learn something. You'll feel something. It's always Sobons. That's right Every week on maximum fun dot org Okay, your your your middle name is macho, but I'm wondering if you ever cry you ever has macho man ever cried Yeah, really, huh? It's okay for macho men to show every emotion available right there

You know because I've cried a thousand times. I'm gonna cry some more But I've swore with the eagles and I've slithered with the snakes and I've been everywhere in between And I'm gonna tell you something right now There's one guarantee in life and that there are no guarantees. Yeah, and Understand this Nobody likes to quit her nobody said life was easy So if you get knocked down take the standing eight count get back up and fight again And you're a macho maniac

There it is. Yeah, there it is from the macho man himself Do you remember when Macho Man body slam toxic masculinity? Yeah, thank you much. Oh, yeah, dude Remember when oh, oh good everybody saying was fucking Richard Belzer. Yeah All I'm saying is Macho Man press freedom those two things were body slammed by Hulk Hogan We've never fully discussed this as society. I think Macho Man Randy Savage's ability to Use the two-word phrase. Oh, yeah in so many different ways. Just that like have you ever tried it's an Yeah, yeah, it's an interrogative. It was fucking poetry when he said I love that. Oh, yeah Macho Man's cried. Yeah, Macho and it's it can even be more passive than that Macho Man

Do you want some blackberry cobbler? Oh? Yeah, yeah, I heard that when Macho Man cries the tears don't trip down his face. They like come out Okay, they like glee Brother That's very macho. Um, I train and teach at a local Krav Maga gym. Ah The beautiful dance the art sweet science recently We had a 78 year old man join our gym and started attending classes and he beat everyone to death. No I miss ready just told came to one of my classes but ended up leaving after about 20 minutes

Got and all I needed to I guess just wanted to learn how to punch his mailman in the face And now he's ready to go. No, I don't think that's it the next day at another instructor's class he came up to me and said I Wrote a poem about your class yesterday. Do you want to see I said, okay? Then he went out to his car, but instead of getting the poem he drove away We have seen one another at the gym multiple times since then but neither of us have mentioned this poem Brothers, how can I unlock the old man? Krav Maga poem that's from trouble in Tennessee. This can't be

This can't be real, right? I mean this can't be real. Well, you know in So I build a question list and in picking this question Not until this moment that the possibility occurred to me that perhaps in in poem form It's like a performance art thing. It's a poem. He wrote a performance poem. Thank you The performance he wrote is the leaving or he was like just what's it mean to you? Like I did a performance art piece about right off McGaw and here it is I'd like to do it for you right now. Also, let me just say it was also good to me If you are ever in this the old man's position here and you start taking the class and you're like, oh

I don't really want to take this class anymore Instead just walking out loudly announced like oh wait, I already know this Oh Okay, I'm sorry, I've probably something else. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know I know this I gotta confuse this with quilting. Do you think do you think? Do you think there's a possibility? That this old man thought he was going to a class for people that crave mega It's like hell, yeah

If that's the case he made it 20 minutes So that's like it's coming. It's good. Yeah, okay. He's trying to hang in there like yeah this too. I guess yeah Also this all right. Yeah, I don't think they're gonna get to it I don't think maybe maybe that's a second class They they don't want to let you they don't give it away for free if you're really craving the maga Sorry miss read it. I was craving manga You guys have any any rare one-piece issues I Yeah, I like how you read them backwards

Is it if anyone ever comes up to you and says I have written a poem and then the active verb that they use in the next Sentences, do you want to see it that feels weird to me instead of do you want to read it? Or do you want me to read it to you if they go I wrote a poem Do you want to see it and then they try to take you to a second location where the poem lives? No, do you think that's what's happening Griffin like the old man went out through this car And then was like surprised like they didn't follow me, huh? I thought I just assumed they'd come with the poems at home The poems at home is interesting like if he thought it was in the car and he's like

I'm gonna get that fucking poem and yeah goes out. It's like poems not here And it's like I should go back in and tell him. Oh, but I'm so embarrassed That's having to me with my wallet at a store. I'll just go in and recite as much as I remember. No David God damn don't it's embarrassing as that that has happened to me at it like a grocery store So put like why I've bought all the groceries up to the front and realized it in my wall And I said I must have left it out of the car I go out in the car while it's not there and then there's the question of like I'm not gonna go back in and say so I drive home. Do I get my wallet? Do I just say like well?

Let's scrap it for the day. Right. You had a good run didn't quite get there. It happens. This is This is for me a non-issue. Oh Because if someone ever came up to me and said I have a poem I wrote about something you did and now I'm gonna do it to you right now and you you can't oh, it's in the car And then they leave and don't come back. I have just avoided at a social interaction that would have Shaved years off of my life. Yeah, that would be a tricky needle thread unless it's really good unless You think this 20 minute 20 minute observed Krav Maga poem is gonna is on some real Robert Frost shit

What I'm saying is that perhaps the reason that he left your class early is because inspiration struck him so hard that he Had to grasp the reins and hold on tight And it was not up to him when he pursued of the muse But rather the muse pursued him and he had to like follow and write it and and like It just moved him so much that he had to go write this poem But he did say he had already written it. Yes. Well, this is the following day Yeah, but then he went home and he was like they're not ready for this If I give him this poem, it'll change the way that they think about Krav Maga and they're not ready for that

This is a bank error in your favor done very well You've broken this you've you've somehow bugged out This NPC interaction that was going to make you very uncomfortable. Yes, and that's dope I would love the sweet cheat codes that you are rocking my friend so that I can avoid any other stranger poem Sort of moments that may happen to me in my lifetime I don't know when that would be perhaps when I'm strolling the the streets of Perry at nighttime with with my lady love and some bohemian type comes up to me at the Riverside And you know, it's like give me five dollars

You know, they do now they do it You know how the bohemian types are always doing that for five dollars in Paris where they want US currency This is this is a fundamental difference between St. Griffin and I of Insincerity a gentleman has approached me and said for five dollars. I'll do a poem on you. No lie I said yes, of course, I handed him five dollars Now I do not remember the poem but I remember enjoying it thoroughly and saying thank you very much in tipping him an extra five dollars Because it was such a wonderful poem and I went on about my day feeling inspired Well, I mean on the day where I told the poem man that I didn't want the poem

I went on to do a bunch of other really good stuff. Oh Like what so? Well, you know, I helped I bought some apples for the school. Yeah, like What apple computers? No Just like the eating kind enough for everybody. Yeah enough for the whole school. I bought apples for them all Well, that's a lot. That's a lot apples dude Cost me so much money and then I would did I went to the hospital and helped it like fixed a couple people Well, you know what? I heard given a lot of those people ended up in the hospital because someone had bought all the apples

And they were having apple deficiencies and it made them really sick. So they had to go to the hospital Well, you know get do something nice for someone and Yeah, and also I heard given that the people you did figs were serial killers what yeah Okay, but I did other good stuff that day like what day where I said no to the poem man The serial killers and stole all the apples from the rest of the world and gave it to one school Yeah, which honestly now that I'm thinking back about it was probably good on apples But I was just feeling really guilty about the poem guy. Yeah, what else did you do that day Griffin? Oh, I bought season Three of lost. Oh, that was really kind of you. Yeah, and I gave it to the library

To the library and I was like give these out to kids who want to go on this like Mysterious adventure now with everyone was that the season three box out that was discontinued because it spontaneously will combust and like catch fire to whatever building it was then This is how is a DVD gonna come that doesn't make any sense The other stuff we've been saying has been like funny, but yeah, like make you think Yeah, like when I was like I bought all the apples and you're like, but then there's no apples for other people That's real and that make you think but when you're like the lost DVDs burn up and burn your house down that does not make How would a DVD you knew that Travis? How would a DVD do that?

It caught the light and refracted it in such a way that the house bring it on. That's never happened ever Yes I want a bunch Wow guys, can you give me a little bit fucking more than that please you made a squishy noise in the middle Justin Had just a little bit more than that, please. I don't want to scare the Kenny Hey, he's still there. He don't know Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. I want a bunch

I'm loving the beer, but I feel like when you start to bust out but rock riffs on it It goes it turns on me. Just a little just a little shit. I don't know why okay. I'm a challenging man now I'm aesthetically more challenging than I was before it takes a refined palette, but those that are into it They get it. You know what I mean? They get it Ray J What did he do? Ray J is helping out Crystal Back late night finally Crystal is the original slider of the South is the South's version of White Castle. You understand Never heard. I've literally never heard of this once in my life

Real quick to spotlight all thick cuz I have another thing. I want to Real quick To spotlight all things fun after dark Crystal is partnering with American actor singer and TV personality Ray J For a series of commercials quote more of our restaurants are staying open later Striving to meet the crystal crave as our guests are getting out and enjoying the nightlife Hey, guess having a fun time at the clubs and with the nightlife and everything. I guess my hamburgers from rage Weird you feel super big The next hot spot for us small hamburgers from a J

It's weird that you would need to do a commercial to advertise Keeping your restaurant open late because of high demand. That is an excellent The 199 crystal snack is Is a new option there it's valid at participating restaurants, which they always clarify But like I feel like if a restaurant is not participating That's a pretty good sign that you're not gonna walk away with that particular way But no look what and not only that crystal you're in charge make a participate. Why are you giving your restaurants? Like I don't want to do that deal. Also. I don't think you can just have

Item on the menu that is name of restaurant snack I think if I ever went to McDonald's and they're like, do you want McDonald's snack? Especially when the name of the restaurant is another noun Like do you want a crystal snack? It sounds like rock-gallon with it, right? Absolutely with a side of pebbles. What are you talking about? Real quick. I just want to mention that Ray J Actually, this is a quote Ray J actually reached out to us

Through our head of creative marketing You guys know the head of creative marketing for crystal, right? Two chains No, it's two chains and he wanted to get involved in spreading the word about crystal They're like MCU of sponsors. He's like, hi, it's Ray J. I'd like to help get the word out about Yeah, and a lot of people know this but two chains got his names because he owns two different Things in the restaurant chain crystals It's two different

That's gotta be a humongous change One on I-64 and the other one on I-75 sub on bite anytime you want to be happy to see you That's gotta take a little bit of the wind out of two chain sales We say I cannot get this across the finish line on my own two chains I'm I must I must bring him I must assemble the team I don't have the I don't have the like self-confidence to become three chains No, that point in the beach where there was only two chains. That's when I was carrying you. I'm Ray J I do want to say not a lot of people know this it's short for Ray Jesus. I

Want to have it don't think so. I want to check in real quick on Carl Laredo My one of my favorite Hype men in the biz worried about Carl Wendy's is adding sweet twists to its breakfast menu. That's right Homestyle French toast sticks. It's happening. It's a sweet new taste at win at Wendy's But how did they settle on this? Well Carl said Our homestyle French toast sticks strike a perfect note of nostalgia and bring even more morning flavor to our menu This time was something sweet from day one We launched our breakfast offering to save fans from the boring and bland morning options that exists some of our competitors

Yep, we've done just that so you get so caught they were like Carl I love when QSR does this they did an interview like Carl. How in the fuck man Then how did you do this and he said we have a couple options and we really honed in on French toast as a platform Yeah, I love when he uses that word the reason being is that there's there's only certain foods at breakfast time that consumers love But are really difficult to actually put together Yes, but also carry a lot of emotional benefits. Oh fuck. Yeah, so we start this program of focusing on nostalgia We could have done waffles, but you know, unfortunately waffles There's so many that are out there and yeah, they're really bad

Carl and and it harkens back to mom or dad pull out waffles of the freezer And there's always freezer burn. Yeah But I'm just reading it Carl is a fucking artist. He's like the Jean Shepherd like of our time the story He's creating. I am sucked into this so it harkens back to mom or dad pulling waffles of the freezer There's always freezer burn. It wasn't really all that special. Yeah cakes Which are honestly just like dry mix and you mix water and then you throw it in a pan. Take that fucking pancakes You're on blast Carl Loretta

Bullshit fuck. Yeah, fuck that play anyway Certain pan it lacked a little bit of extra love that's needed French toast So without research we discovered French toast is one of those things that was super special Hi, I'm a researcher Carl and I've got the report in and turns out French toast is super special You're right He just swirls a beaker around and the fluid turns from blue to purple and he's like it's special The French toast molecule collide with the syrup molecule and we did it the God Smell this beaker. Oh, what is that waffles? That's not no

This is contra images of freezer burn and just mother and father taking him out of the the freezer It's like my mother and father who I hate now this Real quick, what's the key differentiating factor of your French toast takes from the others? Carl says it took us a year It took us a year. We went through 18 different. Oh, whatever they say that I always wonder is that like Six of the same people rolling up to the office every morning. They're like, well time to make some more fucking freaky toast This is Carl Laredo of french fry visionary So yes, just and I'm going to say that this was Carl and maybe a team of five that had Carl

Cmo. He's just a height man. He's not out there He's not like chef Mike out there like developing recipes like he perhaps you don't remember the fucking poetry that Carl Laredo laid down about Wendy's new crispy fries. No, I know he spits words, but he doesn't like fry fries himself Yeah, you assume It took us a year. We went through 18 different iterations to get this right So if I could just do a little bit of math Real quick if everyone could just be patient. I'm just pulling up my calculator Real quick. Nope. That's my camera. Are you dividing 365 by 18?

So if real quick if I divide 365 by 18 I get 20 so They would make it for 20 days every 20 days. They're like, no, no, I quit Do it again Give me a new batch of French toast of chefs of chefs. You're out We have to make the French toast just like your mom grandma your dad Whoever it was that made it in your house the talking dog the robot butler, whatever it is The big French ghost

The magic oven whatever Dude, well boy, you're sometimes you just wake up at the French toast is there and you live alone and not sure Whatever the labra 3d printer Whoever doesn't matter the French toast tree you grew outside that everyone said would never work But look where you got the void gate in the ceiling. We get it. You get it from doesn't matter So we went through okay. Hey, so we start with Texas toast It goes through an actual egg and dairy and vanilla sugar mix. It's Royale. It's it's a custard

I'm just reading by the way if I had to realize wow, okay. Yeah, it's a Royale It's a custard we make sure it sits in this Royale for the right amount of time notice He's not saying the right amount of time. No, it's like give that away That's trade secret it's got absorbed and then actually go through a griddle process Yeah, cuz you actually want to get all the caramelization around the French toast to get that Caramelization color and more importantly the flavor Then when we get it to a restaurant There's just a quick flash fry to get it crispy on the outside and you maintain the custard interior

That's what we want to land on it took us this long cuz we didn't want to launch until we got it, right? Hey, if I could just say Carl fucking great instincts, man. Yeah, like you don't want to do a good You don't want to do a soft open on this one on some shitty way We're at this one's in beta. So just try it and if you don't like it, it's it's fine We weren't gonna stick with it anyway. It's fine. I do want to say it sounds like he did describe how to make French toast Yeah, which I should mention It's not hard to do my friend. It's really not if that's the goal is like my mom won't make me French toast anymore I'm going to Wendy's

Sorry dad No time for this anyway there you know how your your Caregiver always cut your French toast into sticks and then part of it in a cardboard sleeve and charge you $5 Memory the magic is back, but unfortunately the magic is also ended damn I bet you putting them in the in a frosty. I bet that goes down real soon. Oh fuck you magic I mean of podcasting. We've made podcasts. We've had a great time enjoyed each other's company enjoyed your company Well, you were kind enough to be here with us But this show has come to an end not that it is a show

It is a conversation and not that it's come to an end because now we have important details We need to share with you correct Travis. It's a conversation. Well, we have an ad survey running right now over at maximumfund.org Survey it's an annual sounds like business stuff. Okay. It's an annual survey that helps to make sure our advertisers are well matched with their audience So, thank you very much. We're gonna be at DragonCon September 1st through the 5th Details are coming soon. We're gonna update bit.ly slash Macri tours as soon as we have more info and folks We are so excited. We have brand new tour dates If you are in or around or want to get to San Jose, California or Denver We're going to be in San Jose with an adventure zone show September 29th

San Jose again on September 30th with my brother and my brother and me and we're gonna be in Denver October 1st with my brother my brother and me Those tickets are gonna go on sale this Friday the 19th at noon local to those shows So one more time September 29th, San Jose Taz September 30th San Jose my brother my brother and me and October 1st Denver MBMB AM that's This Friday tickets go on sale noon local time. You can get those tickets at bit.ly slash McElroy Tours exciting stuff speaking of you can head there bit.ly slash McElroy Tours to get tickets for Washington, D.C Detroit, Michigan and Cincinnati, Ohio in the fall in November mask and proof of full vaccination or negative COVID test

Within 72 hours of event start is required We got a whole bunch of great merch over at McElroy merch.com including a Garo plushie that is so cute So good and if God's not dead, how do you explain these gains t-shirt by Lucas Hespinhide? 10 explain things I tried to explain that shirt to Sidney and it didn't go great now It's it's an unexplainable inexplicable 10% of all proceeds this month for merch sales Go to the Center for Reproductive Rights. So check all that stuff out at McElroy merch.com pre-orders for the 11th hour our Fifth graphic novel in the Adventure Zone series The pre-orders are open now if you go to the adventure zone comic comm it's gonna come out February 21st

2023 get that pre-order now Thanks to Montaigne for these for our theme song my life is better with you It's a it's a dope track. Montaigne actually has some new some new tracks out that are They they make they will make it your booty Like pop to the music to the rhythm in a good way in a great way in a great way it feels great I was I was doing that yesterday and it felt so it was good for my back Okay, music was great and the music was great, too. So check those out And thanks to maximum fun for having us on the network. Thanks maximum fun. You're welcome on the network. Whoa

Jesse, where'd you come from? It's me Jesse. I've descended from the heavens. Whoa cool. Yep So that's it for the show. I love you Griffin. How do we in the now long it's been since we've sat down to record Man, it's been forever forever. Yeah. Yeah, and maybe this is a good time for us to do like a quick read a reboot Refresh of how we end the show and maybe and this is just something I've been kicking around for a while It's not always contingent on me Saying a funny thing at the end of it. Well, I think it's awesome. We have done this far though Yeah, yeah for sure for sure and that's great But if we could find a way to have some of the pressure be taken off of me and put on

You all for a while. I think that that would be cool Griffin's right Griffin's right. So at the end of every episode I would like Griffin to start suggesting a bit that Travis and I can try next time and Then we'll see how it goes But this still does feel like a lot of pressure on me to generate the like you're asking me to write a skit one time Just this one time. I'm gonna write a skit and then we'll talk about it in between see if it works And then if that's the one Okay, no more work from you required if it's not the one you just come up with another one and certainly that will be the one

Okay, so we're at a Jamba juice. Okay, and You're but you both work there. You both work at the Jamba juice only one of you is Like among us imposter and you're trying to do bad things to the juice. Oh great. Yeah But it's up to the audience to try and figure out which one of you is trying to hurt the juice But we won't tell them so let's actually play that out right now. Oh, we'll try that next week Travis and Justin are both my name is just a macro employees and one of them is up to no good I'm Travis my brother. What do you want in your juice all the mystery? What do you want?

You just hey respond to that. I tried to do something different Griffin and you see what happened it fucking claps around It's like a house of cards. What do you want your juice? I would like some strawberries and are you in the scene? Yeah, you didn't want to participate. I'm the customer you two are employees of the job I'm gonna pissing your juice. Okay. You're the customer and try to start over Travis. Don't make it that obvious I'm pissing in your juice like we always do start over start over. We can't say that about okay I might piss in your juice. Hi. I would like to have a hello. Can I have a okra strawberries? I'm a glass of juice. Oh, no. Yeah, and I'm gonna put okra in him. Oh Bye I'm Griffin. I'm Travis Zachary. I'm juice

This is where my brother my brother me kiss your dad scrub the lips It's better with you maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported