My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 625: Contact High

Episode Date: August 29, 2022

Our producers went through this episode and offered a lot of notes, so you may notice some different things going on here. More Justin laughing at his own jokes. Less excruciatingly long silences, like so long you thought the podcast was paused. More foam rollers. Less Texas-sized hunger. And always, more TikTok.Suggested talking points: Put More In to Edit Out , Yankoviched It, ClnRid, I Thought We Were More Than Stink, Victorian Garbage Pail Kid, Twist it Up TonightCenter for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better It's better it's better

It's better it's better Welcome my brother my brother mean advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy I'm your middle-est brother Travis McElroy. I'm my girlfriend McElroy. Hey, what's up? So guys this morning. I was at the gym, you know the the iron temple and And I got a message from our Well, the executive producer, I mean the producers all got together but from mr. Jarmson and They just sent over some studio notes the name mr. Jarmson Jarmson, did you say yeah, there's not as many vowels in it as you think and

Mr. Jarmson asked me to just go over these with you real quick So I figured we always have a little time in the intro where we don't really say anything funny So I just go ahead and get these out of the way here. Okay. Yeah, all right Griffin right off the bat and they said that this is mostly a legal thing. Yeah now that you live in DC They've asked you to stop saying that you have a Texas size hunger for things. Oh, man Yeah, you're just not allowed to do that. You can't do that anymore because but I mean that my hunger Was established in Texas like I yeah, you seen the bowls of chili that they serve there It's it's it's fucking wild and they're just worried that at this point. It'll be like a legal issue with the state of Texas

But if I go back to eating these very small trendy metropolitan bowls of chili Then with all their various beans in it like it's not gonna. It's not gonna fill me up They made a suggestion. They said that you could say a honking big hunger Okay, I like that better actually. Yeah, okay These produce a lot of people these things down. I think it's good stuff. It's good to get an outside perspective Justin they said they they're loving your characters. Obviously. Oh, it's a big hit in the studio They said the lore isn't complicated enough. Oh, if you could yeah, if you could develop a little bit more I have actually been deeming my own taz arc people don't realize oh within within my brother my brother

Oh, it's a little ARG. It's a rich tapestry They said to me. Oh god damn it still not interrupting enough And I don't know how much more. Yeah, I hate that I hate interrupting Yeah, and you don't woman. This is what's fucked up to when we don't record. Yeah Travis is Very patient. Yeah Always waits till someone finishes their thought and then he gives it like five seconds of sign talking to Travis It's interesting because then he'll be silent for like five seconds as he's like, let me think on that before I respond But but they don't like that for the show

Oh, they said a lot of dead air that they're worried about Yeah, so you can just always cut that out though. Well, they said we need to spend less money on editing So we got to leave a lot more in that was another thing on here They still want Rachel to do the same amount of work, but editing they don't understand They said put more in to edit out. I don't I don't follow that one so much Let's see here. They said oh more About our advertisers operating in defiance of God. They really like that Wait, that was a hit. That was a big hit. They said both with advertisers and

Our demographic of seven to 28 it really hit big Seven year olds hate God, yeah, that's so I also read that that one doesn't seem to be a no It's just scrolled across the top of the email and somehow God. Okay. Um, they also said you're not enough stunts Okay, how would we do that in an audio form? Yeah, I tried to explain that to him and they said that's the best part because we could basically do we Could say we're doing a stunt. I mean we are recording. We do see each other on video now Yeah, yeah, fairly recent which you know what you know, which I think is so interesting that you do know you do know that Yeah, cuz you're watching it right now. Oh me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, we're supposed to be watching the video. I

Always do cuz I want I want to see the jokes come out So Griffin, if you could just do a stunt now I think they would I got a foam roller back there. Should I just pop my back real quick? Yeah, I think now. Yeah, I think for us That's a stunt Okay It's a thinner foam roller than I would and that's on his butt. Is that whoa? Whoa, he's doing it. Whoa. He's like well. He's going off screen now, but it's like a knee. Oh, it's like a neo matrix thing See if you guys can see it. It looks like he's being bullied by an imaginary eighth grader

Yeah, like making him lie on the ground It kind of look like he was being bullied by an imaginary eighth grader who was shoving him over a smaller imaginary eighth grader Oh, I nailed down behind him. So fucking good though. I am an inch taller. I'm ready more stunts They also said we hadn't done enough to incorporate the Chrissy wake up Like remix song that they did from tick-tock. They said tick-tock integration in general has it We could reference the kid who likes corn Chrissy wake up. I don't boy who's very upset by this table and is it being and it being broken. Yeah That's when they said

Well, they said they just wrote here tick-tock equals timeless Apparently counter-intuitive, but okay, apparently the more we reference the more timeless it will make our show Can I give the producers a note? Yeah, okay? Okay, normally what was done running running a little long producers notes Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, then I don't think it's fair that this should just go one way I just want them to know that it's the one last thing just as far as tick-tock integration goes They miss the bit where we developed our own tick-tock sound where we each said one thing and then people can flip that sound to use Not being a huge success. Well, but it was critically for the producers

Like within the producer community and I don't just mean ours apparently they got together with the other producers and talked about they loved it That's fast. Okay, so Griffin you go first and then Justin. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Oh my style. I guess you could say ow Okay, now Justin say something quick It's a good tick-tock sound now keep it going keep it going Justin. I Can't top Griffin's his is so vibrant. It's full of life. That is true Griffin you want to give us another run at it? Yeah, sure Hey, everybody, it's the summertime and you know what that means. Oh

Yeah You guys remember SpongeBob SquarePants, yeah That was don't interrupt the tick-tock sound. Oh You guys remember a little show called SpongeBob SquarePants well, here's a visual joke about that don't I look like one of the characters right now? Okay, I want to try one. I don't try one. All right Hey, baby, what's going on? You want to come over to my house and check out this closet full of monkeys? And so I figured that could but it will be it'll seem like it's a first trap Maybe it's stuffies. How about that? I'm gonna let how about like oh, yeah, am I a real gamer?

Just check out these stuffies. Yeah, that's good. How about that like what do you uh, do I like Pokemon? Yeah, I guess you could say I like it a little bit and then there's like a Grand reveal of all their. Oh, yeah, yeah, right over it How about like Gundam more like fun? Okay, that one's good. That was a good sound. Yeah, you okay, Justin You need to really hit it on one hit it hit us with a success. We've all I think me and Travis have both crushed it on at least one Yeah, I just haven't okay. Oh Do something about ghosts people love that shit

Okay, here. Okay One of the regular players on whose lines in any way. Yeah, I guess you could say I am and then that TikTok sound could only be used by like Mockery Yeah, right is that all the gang Can you give us something like oh that's a ghost something like that or it's just like something Where it's just like the ghost revealed like I'm gonna do a really generic. Okay. Yeah generic is better Yeah, generic people can use that people can use that that's

That's not how you do that wait no no stop that's not how any of this works, please stop far enough stop it You're killing him Now I did notice Justin that was great. I love that thank God less than less generic towards the end there That's the build. Oh, okay. God. I love that. I love that. Okay. Well, we'll let that percolate For like a week Let that go by world now Justin the producers also said that they think you had a story You wanted to tell you said that was the last producer bit. No now. I'm the producer. I was okay now Okay, good

It's so tough when we're doing bits, you know, was that a bit it's so tough. Well, it's just like high performance You know what I mean? It's like it's so tough when we're doing it Yeah, I had to have some pre-workout just to get through it. You know what I mean? It's got caffeine in it. Oh it makes my skin tingle which isn't normal. I don't think that's fantastic. That's great trap so, uh, right, so I just wanted to like Say say this story that I wanted to tell you okay great I love when people preface the story like Okay, so

This is a little long, but hang with so dad texted me a little bit ago few few few days and Said hey, he sent us all this picture of like Weird Al coming to the Paramount Art Center, which is a beautiful venue It's in Ashland, Kentucky about 1400 seats if I had to guess But which is smaller than Weird Al would normally play so I was thrilled, right? He's yeah been the Paramount Art Center before so I'm like, okay Definitely gonna go I look online. It's like basically sold out. There's two kids left maybe from for me and Charlie Charlie did raise the point like

Weird Al was on your TV show you guys are friends. I'm sure well to buy a ticket I like that those two things one of them is true and one of them's not it's like a door in the labyrinth up He was in our TV show. He what why do you have to buy tickets daddy? You know weird Al. It's like well, honey It weird Al did appear on our television program, but we don't text on so I just bought the tickets because I want to support out I've been a weird Al fan. It's like the first Guy I liked right there got me into him and in you know my middle school years and here we are so Show up to the concert Emo Phillips is opening. Are you kidding?

I'm just gonna treat myself to a little emo who was far too funny hysterical So then I'm looking around this place is packed and it's packed with like a few people I could tell are like deep in the paint And then a few other people who are like remember weird Al and maybe or maybe they're like season ticket holders And they're just like there right because Paramount Arts Center. It's part of series Weird Al comes out and he's wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Whoa Yeah, I know so weird Al comes out and he says I don't know if you all know But this tour we are only playing unpopular songs

Yeah, it's burst into laughter. Oh Al you cut up. I can't but No, he's serious. Well, this tour is No pokas No parodies Just deep cut originals Yes, I would have loved that show so this man is playing this legend this icon is playing his heart out to a by design by the way, none of this is unintended

But this man is playing his heart out to a room full of septu generians who could not give less of a shit stone-faced Nothing from them. It is a room full of people that are so disappointed that he's not gonna play beat it and one thick king who Ah feasting As close as friends are gobbled in Up are you really you drop the theme song to UHF on me? Why can't I really it you're gonna give me you're gonna give me a Skipper Dan the song about the guy who's it on the jungle cruise. You're doing your your rage against the machine total

Pastiche I'll sue you. Thank you my liege bless us Sorry, sorry. Is this a extremely protracted harpsichord solo Really for me what a gift Can you for from room of Altair is gonna just stand up there for me just a McRoy and do a harpsichord solo What a blessing. Thank you my liege bless bless us more and what's great? But the important thing I think that I don't want to lose sight of No one gets up. Yeah, no one leaves. Yeah, even when he plays did he does one song?

That's not an original deep cut. I shit you not it is all right now by free What okay? He says I want to do one cover is all right now. Come on. Are you are you with or kidding? No one left because it's a fucking great Band and a great songwriter with a lovely tapestry my man closes my man closes this show with Albuquerque a Minute God that is designed to irritate people that is a song where the joke in the song One of the jokes of the song is I forgot where I was and I'm going to start over in the song and It's designed to irritate people. That's the closer

Amazing thank you Al. I guess I just want to say thank you Al, right? Thank you Al Thank you. Thank you and you're welcome to everybody in there who got to go out to the boneyard with me My fucking middle school years of listening to the entire album. Yeah, I'm finally paying off Thank you for this blessing my leash. I do appreciate it The thing I love most about this and there's so much to love about it is that he also has the bio pic coming out Starting Daniel Radcliffe. He is about to and this is saying quite a bit I think be the most like mainstream well-known. He's ever been and He was like, you know what I'm gonna do

I mean, he said at one point he said I don't know if you heard but I have a bio pic coming out Which is wild and I and we wrote a new song for it, which I would love to play for you here So everyone at that point is like yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Give it to us King. Thank you some new material fantastic They count it off two three four and then the song stops the lights come up and he says but we can't The lawyers would get really upset about it. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, it away from you He's like a Yankevich did away. Yes. He Yankevich right out of my and then that's what he said

I have the theme song to my last movie and I'll play that and he played you a chef fantastic. I love it Yes, I love that but about our bar. It was a it was such a great show. What a talent I I'm sure if he had known I was there. Yeah, he would have given a little and if he and known who I was and He would have brought you up You think and remember if he had remembered that he had been on our show and if he had interacted with you in the show I'm sure he would have like Justin get up here. Hey, I'm gonna do brother brother me. Let me be your hog man. Get up here

You don't love me anymore. Get up here. He did one more minute. Are you kidding me? Wow one more minute. What a show Oh I didn't tell you the wildest part before Albuquerque. He's 13 minute closer. My man does like an eight minute doors Tonal pastiche called Craigslist that has like a three minute long second to like freak out We're just watching a bunch of 60 year old men on stage Cranking out a door fantasy Yeah, baby. Yeah, Charlie who is a Something of a weird Alphan

What her favorite song in the whole show was cuz she didn't know Any of them and she said my favorite song was the song where they did the flower colored lights that they were shining around the door Okay, that was for the kids. That was the highlight for the kids is we had some colorful lighting Fantastic, we can see this show. It is outrageous. You will you will have such a good time. Anyway, that's my plug For we're not hold on. I have to tell you the the name of the tour of this of this particular tour is the Unfortunate return of the ridiculously self-indulgent ill-advised vanity tour. That's good. That's my dream I that's my dream. I hope to one day get up and just do unpopular bits

Oh, good news. We've got a couple of those. Remember the Detroit Remember Star Wars. Yeah, but what if we could pay a bunch of thirsty noobs to just drink a lap up our our Our our bonus material. Okay, so this is an advice show obviously piece of advice See where now on this tour. It's fantastic. See if you can get tickets. Yeah, good luck Yeah, the next piece of advice is coming right now I love car washes specifically the automatic ones that have all the colored lights and bubbles Boys like them now. I'm living in the city and I don't need a car So I haven't been through one. Is it weird to call an Uber and ask them to go through the car wash?

I would pay for it. So it seems like a win-win That's from car wash conundrum in New York City and I need a I need a second Yeah, here's what's fascinating to me, right? Because this question is maybe one of the most clear examples of the question Is it weird having a couple different connotations, right? Is it right out of the ordinary? Yes, yes, obviously it wasn't that would not be right. You wouldn't you knew you knew that going in I don't think that the average Uber slash Lyft right writer Has done this. Is it weird to the point where the driver would say no?

I don't think so. I think if you could chain it together with something else, right? You can't just put car washes your destination because then right drop you off at the car wash It has to be like oh, let me add a stop real quick the car wash now You do need to say something ahead of time or else. It's going to sound like a nasty dig Because your whip is so dusty it looks like it looks like it just climbed out of a mummy tomb That's gonna be insulting But if you get in the car and you're like hey I know that I put Trader Joe's in here as my destination

But I do want you to know that you have won the contest the prize is a free car wash on me And we'll go to one. That's really far away. So we'll run that fair. Yeah all the way the fuck up and This is just for you. I don't think your car is very dirty. I decided I was gonna do this before I saw your car But I'll even get like the rain. You have no judgment. Is there another way that you can fulfill this dark urge other than Ride sharing I mean the only other way I could think of is to go to an automatic car wash And then wait so you see someone get in line for it. And then you're like, hey shotgun. Is that cool if I hop in? I love this shit. This is my favorite thing and I'm not gonna I have no knife

I know I have this rush album that I need you to crank up and let's lean the seatbags Open up that sunroof and let's enjoy that. Well don't open it up. Obviously that would create a whole mess of problems Hey No, oh CLN Ryd Clean ride Okay, this is your app. Oh, this is your dream. Oh disrupt your future. This is your destiny. It's like uber

Uh-huh, but instead of coming to pick you up. I Come to your house and I take your car through the car wash for you. I bring it back. You didn't have to do anything You call clean ride. I'll be at your house I'll take your car. I'll wash your car for you. I'll bring it back. You pay me Now Justin, here's my worry. This is there's no worry. It's actually this is a really good idea. Yeah, good for our show Clean ride I'm worried about publishing this and someone drinking our milkshake on it because this is a good app that could really disrupt it This show is not about money Travis. What is as our as our as our

Several minutes of promotional materials at the end of every episode. We'll attest. We don't care about money No care about ideas. Yeah, and furthering the human experiment and that's what we're achieving with clean ride You're like the Socrates of podcasts You could be at a position where you've given us all your personal information Yeah, hey, this you've bought like we call them we call them ride bucks I don't want you to just pay in the app. You have to buy ride bucks and you can buy them at like any Duncan Wait, is this like paper money? Okay, we don't want Apple to take a cut right crypto. No, you can't use crypto

We don't want Apple to take a cut. So it's a different phone from your regular phone. Oh wait Okay, so you buy a phone loaded with ride bucks You ever remember like cricket cricket wireless like I don't think they're still around but they probably do have a bunch of phones So we'll use those and those are now clean ride or soapy boys Clean ride feels a little antiseptic to me. I'm worried that it's not going to engender trust in people But soapy boy soapy boy like let me call my soapy boy And with washers

So be boys better I feel like it's a gendered thing Griffin that's gonna get in the way we're whip washers. That's universal That's a that's too hip though only the Gen Z people will know what a whip is Let's maybe clean right let's see how that sticks So we'll go you go to a Duncan or a BP and you get a clean ride phone That you can you can't know listen. You'll just use it doesn't make calls You can't use it to summon clean ride, but you can recharge it. Oh, it's a new more Ride box three times three times

Can I jailbreak it and get some emulators going? But be careful because it does not have At this iteration. Yeah does not have charging capabilities on the on the on the so when you say recharge it You mean reload it with money. No, well, they have a special European outlets at Duncan's and that's what you need So wait, is there a tie-in with Duncan here? I'm confused I'm just picking something that there's a lot of right. We could do Duncan. We could do Bank or Julius the bank anywhere that you might see a Tesla charger fire state firehouse fire houses anywhere people go a lot to shop or or commute yeah, whatever

So that's your business. That's like a free business idea from from from me to you You can just do whatever you want with that. No problem That was close because that was almost a good business idea, but we ruined it. So yeah So I have a wizard that with a wizard sent sent me this well Lucia sent me this one It's a wizard wisdom and I would love to read it all to you. It is from the wiki house service It's from dating coach Imad Jabara and it is what does stink mean in a relationship? Did your partner call you stink and now you're scratching your head trying to make some sense of it

It's reasonable if you're a little lost on this one stink isn't a super popular nickname So it's fair that you'd be looking for help here. That's where we come in wait Is it like an ironic thing like calling a big guy tiny or calling a clean person sticky? I mean, we'll get to that That's where we come in in this article. We're gonna break down what this means We'll also cover all the other ways someone might use stink in a convo So you know each and every way this word can be used. Okay, but it is just stink that form of the word It's just a noun, right?

It's also a verb. It's both things you stink. Okay. Yeah guys So what does it mean if your partner calls you stink in a relationship your stink is like your boo This isn't a very common phrase, but if your partner calls you there stink It's sort of a sweet nickname like babe love or sweetheart There's a slight hint of teasing with stink that isn't there with other nicknames But it's almost always meant in good fun. For example, your partner might say, you know, you're my main stink, right? I could never love anyone else. Oh my god. Yes. This is Melissa. She's my stink Hey stink you want to cuddle and watch a movie tonight use stink the same way you'd use any playful pet name

If you want to use stink as a nickname you'd use it the same way you use any cute flirty name for your partner Just keep in mind This isn't a crazy popular slang term and your partner may not take it the right way if they've never heard it Use this way before you might say hey there stink. What's going on? You're my favorite love bug my cute little stink Stink want to order a pizza tonight. Hey stink stink it's it's used that way out of context even in a Obscure context where I feel like it borders on the inside now I looked it up on Urban Dictionary because about 18 times this article is already said that it's not a common thing

And I'm like is it common in the way that it's zero and I looked it up But now here's where it could get confusing. Okay on Urban Dictionary says it's an affectionate name for a close friend or relative Wow, so you two are my stinks, right? So if I said this is my stink Melissa Melissa might be like I thought We were more closer. I thought we were more than stank. I thought we were are we just sink to you, Derek? Because Derek we've been Intimate this next tip sucks ask your partner what they mean if you aren't sure. Oh, no, that's not that's Purpose though. I would say I would love to avoid if someone said you stink and I said like I love you too And they're like no you stink like shit right that would be I would like to avoid that

That's a good rule for all relationships if you don't understand what the person that you are in a relationship with is saying It's really important that you not ask them. Yeah to clarify or expound on it because well, this is an article That's like proof. Well, I'm sorry Griffin. I'm I've been married for a really long time. So I'm kind of giving like some gold If you ever ask your partner to clarify their feelings or like explain how they're feeling or ask any questions Then you're that's like a sign that you're not communicating well So you're yeah, yeah, yeah, if you just understand it if you just understand it without asking or pretend you understand Right, you understand it to save the relationship. I mean most of a good relationship is pretending right? We can all agree you pretend Constantly, I don't think this is good advice. You don't think so like if your partner says you stink, you know, like I love hey guys

I don't love that but I'm hey guys. Yeah Stink normally refers to a bad odor. Oh Okay All right, a lot of this is really stacked. Okay, it's opened up now. Yeah. Yeah now I get up a stink might also refer to a Tantrum or Alpers if someone's raising a stink or causing a stink it means they're making a lot of noise Giving someone I was gonna refute that until he gave the examples where I was like I've never heard someone say well, they're really throwing a stink over there. Yeah now I do want to start saying that

This it's trying to become more grounded this article here toward the back half Except for this next part giving someone a stink might refer to an attitude or a mean look ever hear of the stink I it's a term for the look someone does when they're annoyed and want you to stop whatever you're doing For a very serious illness that we don't talk enough about frankly like we talk a lot about pink I but not enough about stank I same cause but one smells pretty bad. Some folks abbreviate that to stink No one does that. No, are you mad at me for something? You were giving me the stink from across the room all night Oh That is a good way to defuse an argument though because you're gonna say that and they're gonna be like wait, hold on all that aside

What what did you just say? No, no, I know. Yeah. Yeah, you know did you just say I was giving you The stink give me the stink and then last tip is it says some shit about pheromones, but I think it's the most important thing is that We all need to be using this word a lot more because it's very powerful Stink is such a great word like I wish I'd been there the first time instead of smell bad and somebody's like this Stinks and everyone would look at them like yes. Yes. Yes. That's the word. I know exactly what you mean by that I know what you mean by that. Do not define it. Do not explain it. I will know our relationship is in trouble Stink then some woman looks at her husband and is like I don't that's what we use That's the word we use. I don't want it for both people will get it

People will understand if you had been there you could have been you could have sprinted home and been like honey stink You'd be like what no, I heard it today. It's very word. He's like does that mean something smells bad? Yes. Yeah, right stink The same guy also said puke. That's like when the stuff comes out of your mouth. Yeah, exactly You got it the wet mouth boop. Yes. Yes It's puke now I love that we're going with puke I love this victorian garbage pail kid that you guys have I've been calling it vomit. No, no, no two clinical

We're going with puke No, no, no, no, no not dick glue jizz That's fun and I could use these z's and scrabble finally I was going to go with cum, but that sounds like you get so confusing so often That I don't even know why we decided to to even flirt with that idea Because it's well a sixth grader suggested it because they wanted to giggle in class But I think jizz no one's going to use jizz. Hey, it's me George Lucas. Damn it damn it

Uh Okay, how about another question brothers? Is that is it time for questioners? No god We've been recording for so long. We gotta stop the the fun to do other different fun different fun And uh take a trip to the money zone Hooray Honey Yeah stink

Yes Okay, thank you. Um, I want to tell you about honey. Listen, I'm not gonna joke. There's no jokes here I'm not gonna joke. I'm gonna be very serious I'm gonna use my big boy serious voice to tell you that today's episode is sponsored by honey The easy way to save when shopping on your iphone or computer You guys know about this you hear about this. Hey, do you hear about this in the news? You put honey on your computer now. I know what you're thinking

Poor honey on my computer. No, you silly billy go. I said no jokes Honey is something you download onto your computer or phone. Don't pour honey on your phone. Take it from me It's a mistake It's a free shopping tool that scours the internet for promo codes and applies the best one it finds to your online cart What do you guys think sound good to you? Why are you asking it? Why yes, why are you at of course? It's good. Well, I was just trying to get you guys engaged I'm doing all the work over there. Just do the ad travis Okay, just do it

Okay, wouldn't you check out? The honey button faster The honey button appears and all you have to do is click apply to coupons and watch prices drop Honey doesn't just work on desktop. It works on your iphone too Just activate it on safari on your phone and save on the go I know you're wondering when I click the honey button doesn't it make my finger sticky and my answer is stopping such a fucking prude like Live a little try some try some new stuff out

Now griffin you love honey. You used honey to buy your weird paraphernalia for your body and your home, right? Um, yeah, I think I actually used it to buy my foam roller that I just used earlier I got a sick got a sick fucking deal on it. Hell. Yeah, dude And I got a skateboard That I bought with it. Yeah, I bought a skateboard and honey got me a bunch of money off it And then I got I didn't you know what I didn't buy though a helmet because I never crash Whoa, all right. Wow. Yeah If you don't already have honey, I've been sketching

On buses and I sketched a bus all the way to the white house and then Then you went on a date with the president's daughter and I went on a date with the president Thanks to honey, I got a discount skateboard. I sketched all the way to the white house and then I Can I say I fucked Joe Biden? There's a lot of people who seem to want to Yeah, a lot of people say that and they say and but I don't think they mean it enough Coming to theaters careful. Let's make a movie call my date with Joe It's just like you and Joe on a completely platonic just like living well assumed platonic

I do you think there needs to be a conversation at some point where the sparks start flying and it's like What what are we are we stank? Is this stank? Hey, is this stank or experience stank before is this stink? Is this stank? Put amp stink and uh, so if you don't already have honey You could be straight up missing out and by getting it you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this show Get honey for free at join honey.com slash brother. That's join honey.com slash brother I had to mail a letter the other day gross

Uh What is this Paul revere times and I went and I was like where are the stamps where the stamps? We just moved did we pack up stamps and then it turns out that we Did and so I got them out of where we had Kept them and I put it on the letter and I sent it off But for a minute there, I thought we didn't have stamps and I was confronted with this possibility I would have to go to the post office relatable hashtag relatable You don't

You don't need to say that Found sign and a holiday line relatable and the holidays are sneaking up on us Stamps.com That's told us in the copy. I guess it is. Are we on that Christmas creep here in August? Because that feels that feels excessive Um, I guess I smell the pine in the air and you're gonna have to send off a lot of shit and that means the post office trips basically every day And nobody wants that nobody wants to do that. So stamps.com is like a 24 7 post office

You can access from anywhere No lines. No traffic. No hassle you get access to the US ps and ups shipping services you need to run your business right from your computer Well, yeah, hashtag blessed and rates are constantly changing with stamps.com switch and save feature You can easily compare carriers and rates. So, you know, you're getting the very best deal every time Hashtag Chrissy wake up Travis the hashtag the joke that you don't understand how fucking hashtags work is so busted, dude It's so It's like no, no, listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. It's like fucking late night with jimmy fanlin fucking 2009

No, shut up. It's it's a 13 year old fucking joke. It sucks. Do you understand that? Even it hasn't come back around to the other side yet. You what's it? Well, hashtag with the hashbrowns stop that It's working on me the bad news is if I keep laughing he's gonna keep doing it So I gotta reign it in get a get ahead of the holiday chaos this year get started with stamps.com today Sign up with promo code my brother for a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale No long-term commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com click the microphone at the top of the page and intercode my brother This week the greatest discovery becomes greatest trek

That's because greatest trek is for way more than just discovery We're the hit show on maximum fun that covers all the new star trek shows lower decks strange new worlds peccard Prodigy discovery and any other star trek show paramount throws at us Come check it out for our funny and formative recaps of all the new stuff this star trek industrial complex churns out It's in your pod catcher every tuesday Subscribe to greatest trek. It's a new star trek podcast from the makers of the greatest generation Hey there, it's adabelle gerwig and i'm lara house We host tiny victories the 15 minute podcast that's about the little things getting into the tiny victory frame of mind

Is about recognizing minor accomplishments and fleeting joys Isn't it a wonderful day when the first password you try actually works? When it's freezing cold outside and toasty is all get out in my shower My tiny victory is that I turn off the water and get on with my day We can't change this big dumb world, but we can celebrate the tiny wins So join us on maximum fun or wherever you listen to podcasts. Let's get tiny Give me another question j man Okay, unless you have one of your classic bits here comes another question question man. I had a classic I had a classic story

Next next week. I think we will finally be I've been on pins and needles over here on psl watch and I do just as a public service as of um august 25th anodomony 2022 There is no pumpkin spice date yet. Yeah, I'm it could be any minute though I mean mike i'm refreshing this page because that'll be a huge event, but we're not there yet So let's just do questions. I recently started a new job as a vet tech Things are going well or so I thought this morning

I brought in a beautiful homemade peach pie to share with my co-workers and no one had any I told people I made it to share and I took the first piece. Okay, that's One. Yes, you did the exact right first thing to indicate that it's open for business have to yeah Otherwise people will assume it's a gift or a friend No one even picked at the perfectly flaky crust What never being faced with leftovers before I left my almost full pie dish and serving knife there on the break room I have the next two days off. Do I go back for my pie?

Do I wait and hope someone mercifully tosses it while i'm gone? Should I put in my you can't wait? You have to go back to work Yeah, that's true Can I put on two weeks because I never felt such rejection and don't know how I'll recover That's from peach perplexed and peoria. This is a fucking good question. This this is a good one I like don't quit over there. Don't quit in this economy There's a there's never been a better time to quit. So that that is actually bad. Oh, okay um

First of all, let's just say vet tech Is it a very important job? Obviously, but it's not as like Like cyberpunk as it sounds which is unfortunate Like you're not making robot dogs when I hear vet tech like I want someone to put like a you know a hacker Deck Inside of my cat's forearm or something like that. Yeah, obviously So that's that is disappointing to me from this from the start Mike, I guess my next question is a peach pie

is um Is a gooey A lot it can be a lot of work. So did you pre? Did you pre slice the slices because that's a big issue for me of like Am I gonna slice as a really small piece and people look at me and be like What's wrong with your small piece of pie? I bet you have a small wiener too or something like that Or if you make too big a slice of pie, they're like big pie for a big wiener boy Yeah, um save some for the fish and I'm like

I uh, did you have plastic cutlery or real cutlery and like plates set out like you need to remove every barrier between Your co-workers and Having pie in their mouths You're 100 the ideal for a pie if you're bringing in a sharer A pie is a rough one a pie is real rough. I mean even a cake cookies are an obvious one because they're great Tiny pies Tiny go that route But like it's really hard with a pie because there's a lot going on first off

In its ideal design a pie feeds eight Right? Tell me it depends on how big no no no no no no no no no no no no as designed the perfect pie slice is one eighth of the pie Right pies actually stands for a it's uh, it's like greed. It's the greek number for pie Nobody's gonna nobody wants to be the first like you took a slice out. That's huge perfect but it's really hard If you just see a pie there and it's like are there plates? I'm looking around are there plates?

Are there four exists sliced? It's I mean, I think in a future scenario you can help yourself by being like hey Hey, can I cut your slice? Oh, that's nice. Can I get you one? A little thirsty, maybe. Well, yeah. A little thirsty. But especially if you're new, there is also, I will say this.

If you bring in baked good from home, there's a chance that it is not good. No. No, I'm not saying yours is good. Yours is good, but Travis is saying that that home baked goods can be gross. And so I think you do need to be a little thirsty to get the ball rolling. Now I will also say this, question asker. You didn't ask this, but as someone who likes to bake and would often bring baked goods in when I worked at the theater, you do need to be careful because if it's good, how it's

going to end? You do it like twice. I think you said a precedent of them being like, are you going to bring in another pie? When are we going to get some more of that pie? Huh? Did you cake deer? Oh, I love. And it's going to be a thing of like, I miss when you used to bring in a pie and it's just

like, that was one time five years ago. And you could get like an added, eventually people start to make you into a character. I've had this of like, oh, he's a fantastic bake. Justin's a fantastic baker. Why do you try these? And I'm like, no, they're garbage actually. I hate these. Yeah.

I hate these. I did a shit job on these. And these are shit. And they made him crust. And they made him wear a big white chef hat at the office and speak with a French, speak French accent and French words. And he wasn't good at that part of it. And so Justin stopped baking entirely because they wanted him to, they said, be the ghost

from Ratatouille. And Justin was like, I don't want to be the ghost from Ratatouille. No. I mean, Gusteau. Which by the way. Next time, here's what you do. You make some of my world famous caramel snack mix. And nobody, if they make you wrap their lips right, you guys have tried it, right?

Yeah. But is that a bowl people are reaching their dog hair covered hands into, Justin? Yeah. A scoop and tiny bowls, Travis. Even that. I was to say, I've worked. Is this going to be funny? Well, it was a dog grooming place.

Are you going to tell about that expressing anal juices? Okay. Dog hair and peach pie is actually a thing. Right? This is what I said. If I'm tending to a diuretic emu, for example, who's just like big, tall bird shit and everywhere and you're like, you want some pie? It's like, look at me.

I got my hand up a rhinoceros, his asshole trying to impregnate it. This is escalating. It went from dog hair to emu to fisting a rhinoceros. Emu Phillips is fine and he does not need me to impregnate him. He goes to a person doctor. He doesn't need you to, Justin, but that doesn't mean he doesn't. I would love to bear your children. That's fantastic.

It's going to be hard for him when he finds out about the vasectomy. He's going to be so sad. If you all could see this, did you, you had the vasectomy. If you all could see how pleased Justin looks with himself and realizing how good he is at this emu Phillips impression, it's always thrilling when you find that you have one. You didn't know you have one. When you have a good one inside you. He's there.

Yeah. Yeah. We need, we need. I'm also just realizing that taco, in addition to my friend, Michael Begg is heavily emu Phillips inspired. Yeah. 100%. Even a cobbler.

A cobbler. You can't bring him in like the serving size of a cobbler. Oh, I see. You've got a patch in your loafers. Allow me to cobble. Wow. Justin, you're busting yourself up today. I was just thinking about opening a cobbler, a cobbler shop until he, until he, just like

bring your old beat down Nikes and I'll take him apart as they disintegrate in my hands. All you do is you got, you got shoes on one side and like baked goods on the other. You're selling cobblers, you're cobbling, you're cobbling cobblers to make cobbler shoes. I love it. Now I will say this, here's the catch 22 by the way, in case anyone gets the same impulse to make a pie for a new workplace by a dozen donuts, it will be a way bigger hit and way less effort.

And that sucks because you should get rewarded for like, I worked so hard on this pie and great, but a dozen donuts will be a way bigger hit. And that's just, There's maybe a time for it. Like if you are somebody who does a hobby that you share with people, like this happens with woodworking all the time. If I make someone a woodworking gift, they will never display the amount of gratitude I need them to do to account for the literal dozens of man hours that it took me to like

make this thing, right? And baking is the same way. You got to make it because you love it because no one's going to honor that time that you've spent on that in the way that you want to do it. No way. You could have got it at Cargher. They don't know. They don't know that you hand unless they do.

And if they definitely do, then maybe it's time to go back to pie school. A different workplace. Yeah. I think your original instincts may have been right on this one. Yeah. We came back around to it, but you're right. Yeah, you should just find it easier, find it easier job for real. Sell your pies on Etsy or something.

People are doing that left and right. Yeah. Are they? Can I buy a pie on Etsy? Hold on, guys. I got to go. I really want to do this one briefly. I got super hot.

I bought a gun on Etsy. I got super hot. Do you guys want to hear about my Etsy? It says live, laugh, love on it and it's got seashells glued to it. I got super high and decided to reach out to people I hadn't talked to in a long time. The question actually says I decided to reach out to you people I hadn't talked to in a long time, which is like, you did not reach out to us. I would have remembered this.

I was feeling good about myself. But when I woke up, I realized I hadn't given an explanation. Just a single word, hey, around midnight. Nice. Nice. Is there any way I can fix this? Most of these people I hadn't talked to in over five years. This profoundly.

They respond in Portland that they did not clarify if there had been any responses. Now, I can say I mentioned Derek earlier. Haven't talked. He was something I knew as a child, have lost touch with real good. He was an amazing blogger. I brought him to church, came once. They set up a stage and he clogged to Janet Jackson's if at my church. Come on.

Fucking hell. It was so fucking fresh. Anyway, I haven't talked to Derek in ten years, but I was at this weird out concert and then I got later on that evening. I was I got, you know, a little elevated as one does. And I said, like, I got to get elevated, Justin, elevated. Well, no, Travis, that makes it sound like the weird owl music got Justin completely fucked up.

No, I got him part of the way there, but then I got home and I was like, I was a little bit and I was like, so I sit Facebook message that's like, hey, just want to see how you're doing. Went to a killer word out show tonight. I mean, I didn't realize until after I sent it that a lot of typos was eleven forty five at night also have never sent him a Facebook message or anything else before ever and was casually talking to him as though we had texted earlier that morning.

But then no response. Still trying to find him, actually, can't find can't find old Derek, but I'm sure he's out there somewhere. Um, this is not an invitation for an invitation. Our audience, please don't try to. You could then text them again, like I said, hey, double down on it. Hey is the worst. Hey, hey at midnight.

God, oh, man, it's just as bad as it could be a. It's as bad as it could be, because there there's no read on that. That is flattering to you like the best read on that is like, I consider it. I consider it. Yeah, yeah, especially there's the context of the time. It was like five p.m. It could be like, maybe they just had a question. Maybe they just had a question specific for me and they wanted to see if this

is still my number. Midnight, they're high. The best case for you, or they think you got hacked is like, is that's and that's best case for you. And maybe this is a good way for you to get your foot in the door is, you know, 72 hours later, you texting them again, just like, Hey, I got hacked. So don't click on that. Hey, this isn't this, it's not, you know, the problem with that. It's a lie.

It's a lie. It's a lie. Oh, okay. Hey, it's a. Texting this. This is. I got hacked by a high Travis. We'd hacked my body.

Contact you. Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I sent you a random. Hey, I was extremely high, but I did miss you. That part was earnest. I hope you're well. Yeah. Oh, shit.

Okay. Justin, take it a little bit. Say I got contact high. And when they're like, what? Like, well, that's when I got high and I contacted people. And now it's a good joke. That's a good joke. And now you're like, you're back in it, right?

The room's warm. The room's warm. I love it. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. My brother, my brother and me is the name of it. It's every Monday and it has been for. Time immemorial, 12 years, something like that over 12 years. So thank you for continuing to support us.

Travis, what we got going on, bud? What we got cooking out there? Well, I think the most exciting thing is this weekend we're going to be in, in Atlanta for DragonCon. You can get all the details at bit.ly slash macroi tours. We have the whole schedule up there. We have events starting on Friday and going through Monday. There's like, we're doing like photos and signings.

We've got panels, all kinds of stuff. Go check it out. We're also like Rachel's going to be there. Theresa's going to be there. Dad's going to be there. It's going to be all kinds of stuff. So check that out bit.ly slash macroi tours. And a lot of those, the photos, by the way, I believe you have to pre-purchase.

So go check that out now and get that done. We also have the schedule that you can, you know, like take a screenshot or say for whatever over at the MacRoy family social media accounts, which is at the MacRoy family on Instagram or just MacRoy family on Twitter. We've got some cool merch, the Garo plushie. And the, if God's not dead, how do you explain these games? Shirt and 10% of all merch proceeds this month. Go to the center for reproductive rights, all of that at MacRoymerch.com and more.

We got pre-orders for the Taz 11th hour open now. Just go to theadventureszonecomic.com and pre-order that. The 20 rendezvous fancy takes flight tour tickets for all shows are on sale now at bit.ly slash MacRoy tour. We've got the shows coming up in San Jose on September 29th and 30th. That's the adventure zone and my brother, my brother and me, respectively. And then on October 1st, we're going to be in Denver doing my brother, my brother and me, and then we've got November shows in Washington, Detroit and Cincinnati.

Mask and proof of full vaccination or negative COVID test within 72 hours of event start is required. Thank you to Montaigne for the use of our theme song. My life is better with you. Montaigne's got a new album coming out, I believe, later this week. September 2nd called Making It, that you can pre-order now, get yourself some merch with a dope-ass design on it and get a great fucking album for you to bounce to. Do not sleep on it.

So get that and that's it, right? Thanks to Maximum Fun too for having us. That's it. Now we just need Griffin to give us like an inspirational quote to kind of roommate it on. Is that what we decided last time? Yeah, you're going to inspire everybody. It is, are you sure?

Yeah, just something off the top of your head that's like inspirational to millions of people. OK, twist it up tonight. You think you can't. But can you? My name is Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy. I don't know what twist it up tonight could be.

It actually sounded like the beginning of a bop it game. My brother, my brother, my kids are now square on the lips. Twist it, bop it tonight. It's better with you. My life. It's better. It's better with you. It's better..

It's better. It's better with you. It's it's true. Its better. it's better with you. My life. Is better with you. Maximumfun.org, comedy and culture, artist owned, audience supported.