My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 626: Blunder Gigglin

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

Uhh . . . hey . . . there, what are you doing here? You’re looking for podcast? Right now? Shoot, um. Give us a second, we’ll be right with you. Yeah, we were expecting you! Of course we were! Just . . .one second. Okay. Here is podcast.Suggested talking points: Chaotic Dog Wishes, Sopping Wet Scone, Clifford the Small White Boy, New Fall Hat Month, Welcome to the Pumpkin PortalEarthjustice: https://earthjustice.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby Precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better

It's better it's better It's better it's better Guys guys yeah, hi the red the lights and the lights on oh Fuck okay, I'm I guess hello and welcome to my brother my brother me and my sister for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. Hold up the queue. Hold up the queue. Um, I'm Travis McElroy. Your middle is brother and I I'm Okay, none of this is where don't look at any of this. Yeah, we're already this is all this is Griffin You didn't say your name you stopped at I'm yeah, well the teleprompter is not going

Here just take the thanks. Yeah, read them. Just read the paper and I'm Griffin McElroy Yeah, we're um you shut up a little early Okay, you came early. We were packing for our flights to Dragon Con last night So we didn't get a chance to prepare the show we were trying to do it this morning And you were not supposed to be here yet. I forgot there was a studio tour scheduled. That's Sorry, I think Conan's down the hall if you guys want to see Conan Hey, Travis, why don't you walk down with them? I'll stay here. I'll stay here. I'm staying also. There's no fucking way I'm going there with you. Okay, Griffin. I'll stay here to straighten and then trip

No, wait, okay, you two stay here to straighten. I'm gonna lead a tour guide To some of the other podcasts that are already recording. Okay. I'm gonna be the tour guide. I'll show you Okay, great. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay over here. Come on right this way. Those are feet Okay over here, this is where we do all the movie podcasts that are Dudes talking about movies. We make them do it all in one room. Let me just open the door Yes, the laser's coming. I'm like, that's not laser. That's what it's a sore a laser sword. Sorry about that now over here What a big bomb this is Over here, this is actually we promised Conan O'Brien. Here's Conan O'Brien

I don't know who his special guest is today, but I'm really excited to see. Oh, he's coming back from a live commercial Let's listen in Oh, it's me Michael Cain I'm so excited to be on your program. No, I don't know why Michael Cain is talking them back from break Guests on podcasts don't normally do that because I'm fucking Michael Cain in now I feel like Conan should step in here with one of his trademark and I'm Andy Wait, you're both Andy and like that's actually not about Andy. Yeah, I was doing my impression It's your Louis Anderson impression actually and those two I don't think are this but Andy is within the name of Louis

Andrews. Hey juice. Can we switch parts? Yeah, Justin, you do Conan juice switch parts with me. Yeah, and I'm Justin walking you through all the different This could be you No, that's not switching parts. Then is it Justin? I'm Griffin or Justin and we're gonna continue the tour. Uh-oh. Hey, look at this It's Conan. It is Conan O'Brien and it's not Travis Well, I I can't believe I'm here Conan O'Brien. It's me. I finally have a podcast Welcome back to Conan O'Brien needs a friend shutting the door very slowly on this week on

My I have two brothers brother guests It's uh, Ben and Casey Affleck guy's so nice to me. No, I call Ben. Fuck Not even nice nice fucking try. I call Ben I don't want either of them, but I'm definitely Ben of the yeah Hey, I got a fun idea Let me code it O'Brien lead your tour for the rest of it. Go ahead tour guide you to leave Okay, I'll take over from here. Does James fader have a podcast because I can do a pretty good James fader if you can find James fader somewhere

Just start going through this labyrinthine podcast Ur studio that we're in until we do find the James fader podcast. Yeah, um, uh, uh, okay over here um Let me open the door to our new office-based fancast Hosted by people who were on the office For a short period of time Uh, it's called

Blunder giggling. Yeah. Oh, it's pretty good. I got something. I welcome back to blunder giggling I'm the kevin one and and Today my guest is the guy The today that get my guest is props master We called him props master dave

and he He made I feel like griffin is is arnold schwarzenegger in that scene in true lies when he's holding Uh, jamey lee curtis dangling from a helicopter and that's the grip that griffin has on this kevin voice right now It's like right there and if you could just pull well, the whole point of this was to give me a chance to do my slam dunk James fader and then he introduced this James fader couldn't make it today Because he got here. He got very sick. James spader and i'm here. I don't know who this is, but it's not It's it's me. James spader. I was pretending to be. Oh, sorry. I'm wait. I

Watched the stop at the The the coffee shop. No, this is dark james spader. That's not the real james spader. That was jeff goldblum. Actually He's next on the show. Was jeff goldblum on the office Gosh rip the I probably was it seems like I probably would have been hey guys. It's me griffin Sorry, I love this show Is the office ready for us we're in a sort of loop Right now a kind of vortex that's going to be hard for you two james spaders and you the actor who played kevin on the office to understand but

I'm going to do you see this orb that's floating around. That's where the audience is I'm gonna take us over to smartly scrufflin. No, I can't yeah, let's stop it all smart. Let's real All right. Hold on. Let me grab the orb. Oh, fuck. It's so hot Okay, now here's what I want. All of us are just gonna start doing our impression of one of the three hosts And I want to see where we like in a perfect world will all pick a different one. Okay. Okay, you ready? I'm gonna count down from three. Can't wait. Should the impression be of your name. So to be immediately You're introducing yourself like and I'm looking I'm watching griffin google the names. No, no, I got it. I'm good. I'm good You're good. He's good. He's good. I didn't have two fellas. All right. You ready? I got him tattooed on my heart. Yeah, three two

One, I'm john. I'm Jason Bateman Is john crier one of them Damn it griffin. No, you were looking for shon haze griffin shon haze But we did do three different ones which that was three different ones. Maybe the guest this week was john crier Yeah, he definitely was on That podcast at some point, right? I mean come on. Oh, well, they've had every well Let me grab the orb and I'm gonna fucking run with it Right down the hallway back to the bim-bam studios and wait come back

I jason bateman need to eat your orb for fuel. Oh, no, not again He's an orb based talent. So this is a that's pretty good. That's pretty good. It's all right. This is an advice podcast Now do donald duck. Yeah, let's all freak Oh Oh, we love it. We love that here. We love that here my mickey mouse is getting better, but I still don't have a donald Yeah, no one does nobody has a donald. Uh, it's a real duck. Hey, so this is an advice show um, sorry About the inconvenience, but you did show up

Uh, don't complain about this because it was your fault for showing up so early Time for advice. I love to take my dog for walks in our beautiful riverside park He's a good boy and other dogs and people love to meet him I'm fine with this as he's super friendly and loves the attention But i'm socially awkward So I don't know how to interact with the other people who are petting my dog. Do I pet them too? Can I look off into the distance? What are some small talk suggestions for people whose dogs have their noses halfway up my dogs, but

Please help me brothers. That's for mumbling mutt and Memphis. They had to have meant Do I pet their dog too their dog? They could not have meant Pet their pet the flip at the flesh of the human being who's just trying to live their life Next time someone says can I pet your dog say can yeah, absolutely. Can may I pet you? Yeah, and then my dog will pet me and the circle will be complete Your dog gets left out. Fuck your dog. Your dog does not belong here guys. We never get questions This just occurred. We never get questions to start like so my problem is I'm too socially well adjusted I always know what to do in every situation. You know, I have a problem

For one of those lucky people we it takes three of us to figure out what not one normal person might do. I I think What I would do start petting my dog is I would look away and say I'll give you two a moment That's good Just step back and go when you're ready. Yeah, we have no business you and I Can you charge money $20 I was about to say the words $20 $20 my dog Oh, good thing if someone says can I pet your dog say I don't know can you and then you don't have to worry about it Because they won't keep talking to you. No, that's bad face with with a knife. How about this? Okay, yes, you can but you have to promise me that you won't make any wishes promise

They could go really really bad. I've seen some really bad chaotic wishes come after this dog Please you have to promise me you're not wishing anything and you might even in the back of your mind Like I wish I could get some Arby's later And you might think that you've got it airtight and that there is no room for ironic Classic but it's this dog this dog will twist it on you a hundred percent of the time. Please don't use up my dog Which that's the horrors that I bought him um Can you

Pet the dog too and be like wow that is I've never touched this dog do what to it That's even thought of that very good the first show me how you do that show me that get flat hands or closed hands If you were gonna express this dog's anal glands, how would you go about that? Just Can I bet you're done? Yeah, as soon as they touch me like haha yours now and run away You were the last one to touch it. He's your problem now Um, why do you do you love my dog? What are your intentions you love you love my dog. Hey, what are you asking me for ask him? Um

This seems make him ask the dog say can I pet you? Yes, get down there hands and knees and beg Say it in say it in dog tongue not in your filthy human speech the dog only let him pet you back um it's uh Yeah, I it's I mean I feel like there's a certain class of people for whom this is not a bug. It's a feature Yes, where it's like I get to meet lots of other like this is the moment right the ice has been broken This is the moment where they would say like so

Now we've broken the ice. Let's chat like people who seek out. Yeah, this is like a It's like people who are into Like motorcycles and stuff where they just want you to ask them about their motorcycles so that you can ask them like about their motorcycle And be like good good car people regularly have events because I hear them. Yeah, uh where they just park their good cars near each other Yeah, and then they just and they walk around like pretty good pretty good Well, the nice thing about that especially if they have a dog too, right if you have that shared thing You can focus 100 part a percent of the conversation on that thing

Yeah, right it's when it starts to branch out if someone's like and tell me about you The human attached to this dog and I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, but then that's not what this is You've got five like rapid fire questions about dog care like what so We love dogs, right like like but a good conversation started. I don't talk about dogs So I don't know is that I mean you could say like what breed how old are they? Yeah, what's their name if you want throw something like looks like there's some

Oh like she but in there doesn't have to nobody knows nobody Just pick any kind of like classy looking dog. Oh, there is there's some visual in there And then this person this person is uncomfortable talking to other people Travis I know that you don't understand this but they're uncomfortable talking to other people And what you want them to do is take a swing and a miss Like to have the awkwardness of getting their dogs breed wrong. No, here's what I'm saying There is no miss, right because here's you're not a dog person There are two things that dog owners love talking about their dogs breed

The correct. Yes, you are right good for noticing or I you would think that but actually either way that person It's the two things that they will talk about The most is if you get it right or get it wrong. Now either way, it doesn't matter It doesn't matter if they do pay your dog a compliment like oh, he's such a precious special baby Look at those toe beans. I want to eat them up. You can say like, yeah But did you did you see Clifford the big red dog movie? Because this dog this dog is good

But in that one you're what are some of your favorite dog in that one the dog is A very unique color and so big that a grown-up can ride on him like a big horse and you can't Do that with my dog. Um, so it's it's a fine It's a fine dog. It is no Clifford the big red dog. No, which now I would I'd trade him for Clifford in a heartbeat I would put this dog above Beethoven though because that dog Messy all right, and I see that look on your face A lot of people get confused by this Beethoven is actually about a dog not about the composer

I know what you're thinking because you see it's a Beethoven movie people think Beethoven is the charles groden character But actually Beethoven a dog is called Beethoven's dog. Yeah And strangely charles groden is called Beethoven's owner and no one's quite sure Where Beethoven exists in there's a middleman we haven't pinned down yet Between charles groden and the dog that connects the two of them. We're not sure But do you think turner and hooch are married in real life? God, I still miss grody every day. I know it's tough. Yeah, they made a series Of successful films off of is a big dog man. I don't know what to tell you

He's a big dog. Sometimes he knocks it over. It is that it is No, it's a genius formula. It's fiverr said that fiverr said man I love it when when charles groden hates stuff Yeah, whenever you ever see if you ever wind that guy up and see him get like really really grumpy Oh, it's good. He puts like a weird manic smile on when he's really mad that if I was there in real person I'd be terrified but we watching I'm just eating my popcorn and loving it They but they pointed this out of black check, but he was in cliffer. You remember cliffer With martin short as a big red fucking dog. Yes. Justin. We talked about it a second ago. No, he's a little white boy

That's what it's called cliford the little white boy Played by the old Uh, I just realized what was the pitch for the cliford movie with martin shorted. No, here's the thing He's a devil. He's a demon child Played by an adult and also charles groden is there. Sorry. It's it's skewing too This is too close to anti martin short talk. We won't know. I would never I would never not abide I would never uh, there's one another question Yeah, because I just discovered that the wiki how I had pulled we have done before

And so I do believe that the wizard is going to be on vacation for this particular episode Well, how about another question that you know what? What you would have noticed that if they had arrived when they were supposed to arrive. Yeah, instead of 20 minutes early You would have had this is their fault My mom and I love to watch shows together. I they actually said like So I'm putting a little yeah. Hey, Justin. How about you don't editorialize? They're still getting to know each other My mom and I like to watch shows together and recently What if the question was like my mom and I like to watch shows together

Can you guys recommend several new shows that you've been enjoying? No jokes and jokes out of the room the jokes part is the word to talk about what if they were just like What shows? What are you guys watching right now? Don't make bits about it. Don't describe it too much. Just say like the name I've been watching resident alien. It's good Do you have friends that when you see them at a party you only talk about the shows you've been watching? Yeah, and once you once you have gone through all the shows you've been watching you get this feeling like I don't know this person very well

I'm an adult. Of course. I have those people. I don't think we have that much in common Now that I think about oh, it's fun when you find out they also like board games or something And it's like well if you played this board game and that opens up another 20 to 30 minutes of conversation Yeah, and at that point you feel okay about leaving the party you've been there long enough 40 minutes Is a good amount of time at that point Do you want to read more than the first five words of this question? Yeah, I was just making some conversation for the podcast sorry um

Let's see now you got me on Recently we've been watching the great british bake off nice We invited my dad to come watch with us and ever since he's been watching it often Every time I go downstairs. He's watching it. I heard him step till one in the morning last night watching it He said he couldn't pick me up from school today, and I had to get a ride from a friend And when I got home he was watching it Should I interfere? That's from baffled by bakeoff in ohio. Oh, he found something wow I miss this feeling. Oh, when you find something don't you oh you find a show

There's so many of them. Yeah, and you could just watch all of them if you want god I miss that also for it to be great british bake off in this day and age. Oh the joy the serotonin You're in you're in for some pivots. You need to be a yeah But I mean imagine if you got him on to like uh breaking bad and it's just like I'm worried about the influences Is going to have on my dad but great british bake off the worst thing is going to happen You got some more big goods in the house now. He might start affecting a british accent Yeah, and we love that it it the thing with breaking bad is it doesn't have paul hollywood sir paul hollywood's just like cerulean

Pools that you just went that he just shoots his sex beams out of the tv Have you not seen the supercuts of all the times when uh, welterwhite finished making a batch and paul hollywood Step in and try it and back. It's a good bake and shake his hand Do you remember that? Yeah, it happened like a hundred times. You would pick up some of that crunchy that crunchy rock And you'd like eat a big rock of it and he'd be like it's a little soggy in the bottom And then he'd be like zeep-zop zubidy borp. I don't know what you do when you have done milk I don't I've not done that and I don't really know I don't know what it's like like I can imagine what doing other drugs is like but meth

I assume you just go like And it turns you into like a alien man. It turns you into an andy samberg character. Yeah, yeah This is fine as long as it does lead to getting goods baked for you Because that is the outcome so often with with great british break off. It's also a good Uh, uh, it's a good onboarding to like task master, which is another good one. You want to watch together No, now you're just doing the thing that we said we wanted. I know But I wanted to do it now. There is a okay There is a cd underbelly of possible outcome of him watching too much of this

It's like next family get together grandma brings that a little pie. He takes a bite. He's like soggy bottom It shoves it away, right where he's oh and he's like you call this a scone I'm like throws it back in her face like prude did that one time You know that kind of thing or he's like oh you guys hear about bin gate and it's like that. We can't keep bringing up In gate it's been a long time that kind that's the downside that is I I will say that I do enjoy On a whole baked goods less Because now I know what to look for what they could have been

Yeah, like when I eat a bread and it's like super chewy Before I knew anything I was like oh chewy bread, but now I know like they didn't prove it They didn't prove it enough they didn't prove the yeast they improve the existence of bread No, I I'm glad now because just from watching great rich bake off I've been able to add the word claggy into my vocab and I don't know what it means And I don't think they do either But it seems like a good way to really put down someone's baking. She's like it's a big Claggy is a little stodgy

You don't have to interfere. You don't have to intercede. Just let me enjoy the baking Maybe set a timer so he doesn't stay up till one o'clock or miss picking up from school I I I do. Okay. I love cooking shows. I love great Jewish break off. I mean, I love Zumbos best desserts I love is it cake sweet genius with Ron Ben Israel Uh, is it cake? But the other ones I love And uh, I I'm hard on is it cake because there was a version called eye candy starring josh groban on roku

What was a quibi and then it was on right anyway, sorry Doesn't have anything to do with anything Is it possible your father is obsessed just with the episode where they had to make cake busts of famous people And someone may be nightmare tom de long I love those shows. I have never felt like I gotta fucking watch the next one really I gotta see what happens next. It's the reason I did a watch the long podcast called bacon Uh, I think it's the last two seasons. That's how we feel when we watch it. We have watched uh the season

Uh, like the first season that aired on netflix. We watched that shit. Uh, uh, like once a month We watched that same series over and over again I feel bad that the wizard let us down this week. Yeah, it is a little sad, isn't it? Do you guys want to learn how to fight with us? Hey, we're recording this on uh, september 1st griffin Don't monthly observance. Do not do this to me. Aren't you guys curious? What kind of months it's gonna be in september? I'm so curious God dang it Yeah, so we got some special month observances

To do happy september happy september first everybody Did you know that this is the month if if you do have a new fall hat? That you are excited about it is fall hat month No, it's not fall is here. It's getting colder. So it's time to break out the head gear. It's fall hat month During fall hat months switch out of the cool weather head protection And into stylish felt and fabric styles. No period on the end of that sense. No period. Just laying it all out there someone was murdered writing that first paragraph and somebody hopped back in

For the next paragraph hats were probably one of the first items of clothing found among primitive humankind What so Where are we going with this? That can't possibly be right when we're walking around with our butt and gooch and Privates just out and someone's like I have to get my hair hidden birds and bugs keep getting in there um So it's fall hat month everybody and

I guess hats have played an impressive role in human history presumably us president William Henry Harrison died shortly after his inaugural dress because he refused to wear a cap on that cold nasty day Now hold on just as was it just if my man's had had A nice derby on he would still be with us today is what you're saying you can't prove that you can't prove that you assume But there's no way to prove that It wasn't a magic hat that a witch gave him and said as long as you wear this you'll never get sick You don't know No, I refuse to

But what if it was no no no no i'm closing this what if it was a magic hat they give all presidents Better breakfast month better breakfast on you judgment till you don't know what i'm eating You don't know baby. I can't get better. Hey, you can always get better. I'm looking at a picture It looks like it has seven banana slices and some chia seeds. No, thank you That's it. No, thank you any breakfast be better than that. That can't be it That can't be i've seen pictures of a balanced breakfast and they didn't contain chia seeds It contained frosty flakes a glass of milk and orange juice for some reason. Yeah, it toast If I ate a balanced breakfast as recommended by cereal commercials

I would be on the toilet until lunchtime. It's so much fucking food It's so much food. It's milk and orange juice Do you want me to do the orange juice also? It is in a picture Did I did I need did I wait did I take the extra minute to get out a picture and fill my kid's picture with juice to order breakfast month decant your juice for your dirt Decant your juice and give your kids These fucking hard hardened charcoal tablets to enjoy with their seven banana slices Can we go back to uh as long as we're talking about can we go back to original fruit loop recipe, please

Just before they use the art back when they use the artificial colors and the artificial sweeteners Like the old school tricks recipe as well, please I'm listen. I'm an adult now and I would like to make these decisions for you. They did they don't okay You're saying a lot of wild stuff. They did go back to the original tricks. Look people hated the no artificial colors Thank you. So you're covered there. Thank you. Awesome. Save your photos save your photos month save your photos month Now in case of I guess a storm That comes to try to take your photos away. I guess put them in the cloud that that one doesn't feel like it needs

That won't take me out. I don't have the urgency of spending a month doing that um I'm almost certain we've talked about international update your resume month, which like for us would be kind of I don't want I don't want the two of you to ever update your resumes because that would affect me That would have implications for me and my life If I find out the two of you are updating your resume I would probably quit first Just so you don't get the satisfaction of pulling the rug out from me

Well, good news. But I could tell you this personally. Yeah, unless the employer is interested in a decade of podcast experience I don't have a lot Unless they're like, well, yeah. Oh, we see here that back from 2007 to 2009. You worked at Best Buy Interesting. Yes, please be the manager of this big company. I don't see that happen I'm not bringing a lot to the table outside of what I'm currently doing Looks looks like I haven't updated my resume in about eight years So I really don't know if I have I don't have one. I have an acting resume From my time upon the boards

I have a curriculum verite that I use for my professorships Special skills being really good at acting That's not one, but that's a secret for you. You can put that as a special skill and anything being good at doing this job Um, baby safety month got to take that serious. That should be every month It's hugely a problem. That is a massive the idea that you have been putting off making your home safe for your baby Then you see like Something pop up on my space. It's like good news. It's baby safety month. Like fantastic baby safety month. We should really get on that Yeah, what about baby stunts month? That comes the next so but first baby safety

Then baby stunts. That's October Be right back after this Oh Hey, Justin, yeah, I want to focus on you for a moment. How are you feeling? Finally, uh, yeah, wow trap. Thanks. Um Well, I'm a little how are things going? Yeah, they're fine. We just want to know about you now Today, yeah, I'm a little stressed out. I want to help

We're here to help you Justin Yeah, hey, I'm really interested in how you feel. Hey, who am I? Justin? How are you doing? Hey, who am I? I'm pretty I'm here to help. I'm here to help George decay. I'm he I'm listening That's um, frasier crane. Oh, okay. Wait now. Wait, Justin. Justin. Who am I doing? Uh, yeah, I'm here to help Uh Patrick Orbert. Yeah nailed it. That's good. Yeah now Griffin you do another one

Okay, but I do home is a service that I have begged my brothers to talk about and they refuse to come Why is my question because it is uh a slam dunk if you are feeling stressed out because your brothers are more Invested in their men 90s sitcom stars. Hey, Justin. Justin. Justin. Why so serious? Why so serious? Why so serious man news big news big update you guys are doing the rest of the call man. I'm not I'm done I'm done with it. Oh, somebody stop me. No, I check this out mortal call man Reduce stress and angst. I'm scorpion reduce stress and anxiety through guided meditations improve focus with curated music tracks

Now travis you'd be another mortal mortal calm ad character. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Um, I'm uh raiden. Okay Rest and recharge with combs imaginative sleep stories for children and adults There's even new daily movement sessions designed to relax your body and uplift your mind Raiden now juice you you do one you'd be a yeah, you know a lot about this I'll do Justin. I'll do a Justin. I was trying to care I was trying to put you two on my back and carry you the finish line and I'm not doing it anymore If you go to calm.com slash my brother, you'll get a special offer of 40 off a calm premium subscription

And new content is added every week. I'm just a mackerel. I'm and I'm goro for listeners of the show Calm is offering an exclusive offer of 40 off a calm premium subscription at calm.com slash my brother Um, that's go to calm.com Slash my brother for 40 off unlimited access to calm's entire library. I'm goro and that's calm.com slash my brother johnny cage Are you are you goro? Because you've been served shit That would be great if somebody had to go to moral combat island like I'm here to fight lu kang and lu kang's like

I'm lu kang. It's like you killed a guy. So here's i'm actually you've been served I'm cops and here's a subpoena for you to be arrested for the gig for killing actually everyone here Just go ahead and get on this boat This boat goes to jail and arrest the person to your left Uh, I don't have enough manacles for everybody. Uh, I didn't expect goro to have so many arms That's on me. So I'm one. I am one set short I thought I could just do two sets of manacles on goro, but I kind of have to do a crisscross apple sauce Goro

That's a good question. Justin. Do you go side to side or you go x's? Yeah, if he could still go up and down and squish things, that's not good, right? Yeah Yeah, so speaking of Goro bondage play bombas is their mission is simple They make the most comfortable clothes ever and match every item sold with an equal item donated So I bet goro is a sub though. So when you invite You are also giving to someone in need Uh bombas design their sock shirts and underwear to be the clothes you can't wait to put on every day

Everything they make is soft Seamless tagless and has a cozy feel Unlike do you guys think subs ear on scorpion ever kiss? And did you know that socks underwear and t-shirts are the three most requested clothing items at home? Are they related are they are sm there's also smoke and there's like a snake one reptile That's why bombas donates one for every item you buy so far bombas customers Like you have helped donate over 50 million items of essential clothing We're kind of the same clothing so they're the same size. Yeah

Are they related? I think they're sometimes they are sometimes enough I think that everyone on mortal combat's related go to bombas.com slash my brother and use code My brother for 20 off of your first purchase. That's b o m b a s dot com slash my brother and use code my brother and check out bombas.com slash my brother code My brother your soul is mine You know what that was there at the anger?

Immortal callback Hey there, I'm ellen weatherford and i'm christian weatherford and we've got big feelings about animals that we just got to share On just the zoo of us your new favorite animal review podcast We're here to critically evaluate how each animal excels and how it doesn't Rating them out of 10 on their effectiveness ingenuity and aesthetics Guest experts give you their takes informed by actual real life experiences studying and working with very cool animals Like sharks cheetahs and sea turtles It's a field trip to the zoo for your ears

So if you or your kids have ever wondered if a pigeon can count Why sloths move so slow or how a spider sees the world? Find out with us every wednesday on just the zoo of us in its natural habitat on maximum fun dot org Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts Carey is it? Oh, yes. Hi. I'm carey. I am psychic Ross and I will be reading you this evening. Oh interesting Well, okay. I co-host a podcast. It's called ono ross and carey. Yes. I'm sensing that the spirits are telling me It is a show about well, it's about like fringe science and spirituality and things of the paranormal Oh, you knew that you do research online. You but more importantly like we do in-person investigations

Investigate as well. Oh my god. That's amazing. See me and my friend. This is so weird My friend Ross same name as you weird. He and I just go and try them all out Actually, we've gone to a number of psychics and to be honest with you. It's a lot like this It's called ono ross and carey. They confided at maximum fun dot org. I could have told you that Hey Hey, uh What I want a munch squad

I want to munch We'll get a munch squad as podcasts within a podcast profile and the latest and the greatest in brand eating I am your co-host Justin McElroy with me. He's always is Justin McElroy. What and today there's could be only one Yes Yes, how welcome to the pumpkin portal. We're taking the pumpkin portal to fall you guys this is uh, this Can I just say real quick note, Justin? Yeah Uh, I think they lack courage in their convictions because they put two fall at the bottom should have just been pumpkin portal Welcome to the pumpkin portal to fall. No, oh, no undid it

Yep, just just have the strength of your convictions. This is the starbucks back with the psl And uh, we're celebrating in those different weird ways that starbucks always celebrates the return of the pumpkin spice latte You'll remember one year. They had a dial-in number that you could call and hear pumpkin stories Remember that? Yes, I do we called live on air if I remember correctly this year We're going to the pumpkin portal. You guys are going to be challenged Right here alive the pumpkin portal has terms of service The bottom and a privacy policy Yeah, skipped him

Okay, so we're going to use the emoji keyboard to answer fall riddles. This is gonna be earned pumpkins for correct answers. Okay You ready? It's gonna be funny audio start with three chances after three incorrect guesses. It's back to the top Guess What this is a picture of an apple. What would you guess it is? It's an apple It says delicious fall fruit may keep the doctor away. I'm gonna say apple pumpkin apple or cherry Fill this fall treat Can you do the dancer the the the what the person in the red dress dancing? A red dress dancing. No, it's pie airplane

No, it's pie. Justin do it. Okay. That's a empanada will empanada count click empanada Pie It's kickoff time for this fall sport lightball rugby Leg ball and rugby I said light bulb, but leg ball is Exclusively what I'm calling soccer Type leg be just type leg leg. Yeah leg leg. Okay. So now just a picture of it No, not a turkey leg like a leg got me take this the yellow leg. Yeah. Yeah, click the leg

This is gonna be right. Trust me. Click it and then guess that. Okay. We can just choose a skin tone. That's nice I love that. It's weird if the answer does depend on the correct skin tone of the leg skin tone, right? Okay, so it wasn't that oh weird. Oh wait a minute foosball No, someplace sometimes they spell it wrong try it with a T. Yeah, I think I think hockey season actually kicks off this Well, there's a golden football with it. Oh What changes color in fall my hair me me if I'm down at the beach Yeah, base What changes color? Well a lot of things do

Yeah Pie after you bake it leaf leaf leaf. What not a wrong leaf idiot Well, I said a wrong leaf. It's just a leaf the answer is leaf. It's a leaf. Well, try the fall do a christian cross You carry all your back to school supplies in this well, this is hands hand Oh, yeah Oh a fist. Oh, okay, gun Dang it. That wasn't it. We had a good run. Oh, no, we were oh, we died. I didn't know we could die in the game Yeah, you die. What happens if you win?

You see the old prospector from uh, or the undertaker from mad dog McCree and he comes out very easy You've run out of time reversal cubes. Yeah, don't stop believing it says. Okay. You would just make Okay, our our score is four. We got four pumpkins. We're foliage friendly You sleep to the sound. Oh, I did it on my own Justin and I got all of them right and it called me a pumpkin fucker Yeah It's heavy. So the psl is back now. This is just a public service announcement. It's topped with whipped cream It's got pumpkin spices. No way are blended. I mean the whole bit. I mean the whole bit But what it is there's pumpkin spice obviously, but what is it?

What are the other drinks Justin that they're partnering the button with spice experience with? Well, there's a pumpkin cream cold brew Which is back for another new year. I like that one and it's a fan. That one's a fan favorite. Yeah, I get nasty bringing something back four times Then I would hope That fans enjoy it because otherwise, I don't know what you're doing with all that pumpkin cold brew. Oh, shit I could be buying pumpkin flavored beer right now Yeah, you should be actually

All they've got some festive fall merchandise Just so you know They're Dipping into the starbucks coffee reserves. I mean, it's it's gonna be a big fall over there. I don't know that we have But isn't that are they trying to lower the price of coffee by the gallon? What do you mean to open up the reserves? No, it's like a fancier coffee. It's like a better fancier. They have better coffee And they're just like we could be giving you better coffee than what we have

But we're holding this back. You dirty birds. I mean, it's a commodity, right? Supplying to man you can pay for the as good of a coffee as you can afford You guys like a pumpkin spice lattes basic. No, I'm not really my thing basic much Get up. Why don't you go watch friends? Oh, yeah Yeah, where's your floppy hat? Where's your floppy friends? What your floppy friends that that you watch Well, you think your public your public spice When you drink your public spices

Fucking basic talk about how friends is better than new girl for reasons. I like I like, uh Coke zero Yeah, can't sophisticated eat a plain scone for jelly. Don't you have any flavor? Don't have a flavor. The jelly the jelly is flavorless, too Yeah, just a flavorless scone with a flavorless jelly in your friend's hat It's can I get a scone with wet is what I say when I Stopping wet scone Plain flavor with a wet scone. Please. I want to be gunter

While I'm wearing my floppy hat and eating my flavorless scone and then we're gonna fall in love Just to recap real quick. Just you know, what's going on pop bellies got a pumpkin spice shake um Hardies is making a beer. I mean what usual the usual what hardy's making beer is fun Yeah, hardy's is teamed with southern gris brewing company on a strawberry biscuit ale So it's like you ever I eat a strawberry biscuit at hardy's and think god, I wish this get me wrecked. Yeah, dude Well now your dreams can come true

Yeah, drink a delicious beer that is actually a biscuit from hardy's that all mushed up and fermented delicious Does anyone else on this call or in the world have the experience of it becomes fall you get really excited you buy like fall beer So you buy a bunch of it and then you have like six of them in a week or whatever and you're like Oh, I'm tired of this already And then those pumpkin beers sit in your fridge for many months until it gets to be like summer and you're like Well, I haven't been to the store in a while and I'm out of beer So you crack open like a pumpkin beer in the middle of july and you're like, oh, this actually is terrible

I hate this. Yeah, but then fall comes around again and you're like, oh, hell. Yeah pumpkin beer season Yeah, that's sort of just the futility of Of it all, huh? Yeah, man There's an Artemis moon donut at crispy cream. Oh, what delicious. Yeah, it's a one day special For the to celebrate the planned launch of Artemis one Can you and they fucking post I have beef with naza because I get my kid I get my class together

And sit in front of the big tv screen. I say they're about to shoot that shit right up into outer space It's got nobody on it, which is wasteful It's like do you see cars on the highway with no one in them emissions much And I was my class was psyched and then the last minute they were like something was wrong with one of the engines So we didn't do it and it's like no one's in the rocket if it does a big explode My class is gonna talk like remember that forever and talk now I didn't know there was no one in it and that actually explains to me why they were so candid about The engine problem because you know if that's a manned mission. They don't just say like we had engine

They were this close Right. Well because then shuffled a few there was a big whoopsy that devin should have caught and he didn't And if that shit had gone up there, it would have been yikes city end of astronauts Imagine being an astronaut who's like on that and they're like, yeah, we had a lot of mechanical issues But it'll be fine by tomorrow get ready to go and you're like what no It is still kind of hilarious. I understand what happens. I'm basically I've watched a lot of different movies But it is kind of funny that we're gonna black like blast a rocket into the sky

It's cost like billions of dollars To get to this point and then it starts raining and everyone's like Fuck No, no, no, no No, sorry Sorry, we tried to oppose your will with our incredible brains. You win. Is this is it bad for the rocket? No, it's just we wanted that morning glow on it when we took all the pictures And we was like been staging it. We put a bunch of like doilies around it and stuff when the rocket get wet. It looks

So dumb the tear gets really flat The decals get loose. It's it everything is wrinkled There's a lot of steam when the rocket goes If you the wet rock they do that they do that if for takeoff, but they don't do it for landing Yeah, they're never like it's raining go around We're gonna rear out you to phoenix You we've been we've been thwarted Madagascar is dry take a left go the ocean people are watching

Be careful There's a reason they don't fish the rockets out of the ocean once they do go splash smash And that's because they look so fucking stupid. Well, like a wet penis. Yeah, it's a big stupid. It's so stupid so stupid My first job out of college. I ran art groups for teens out of necessity I trained myself into a lot of habits to help maintain boundaries and dissuade unwanted attention One of these things included if I ever need to bend over I did it in the most unflattering way possible Years later. I still have this habit

Problem is I now have a serious girlfriend. I'm afraid I've trained my body to move in this not ironic way forever Brothers And learn to bend over sexy. That's for resting in Rochester All right, that's it takes your it takes a long time to train that out of you Take it from me. I've had to work so hard to drain every bit of sexy out of my body Yeah, it took years it for me. It just took um Oh god, oh Travis dropped his camera Wow, you really dropped it, huh? Yeah. Wow. I feel like I'm watching a colonoscopy for a robot

Wow Wow, you dropped this shit out of that tribe. You still haven't fixed it. It's still he's still trying to fix it It might have come unconnected disconnected. Wow. Wow Well We don't need to see I guess Yeah, we just won't film the rest. Okay. I'm curious. I wish I'd gotten a little bit more Maybe you could share a screen of a picture of you great, uh

If we could have gotten some description of what your unsexy bend over method looks like if that would have been hugely helpful Yeah, I think we can just take the bend and snap from Legally Blonde and do the antithesis of that Yeah, so it's like kind of your squinching down to the side for sure What if you just fall your camp is going one way your knees go the other you just fall to the ground You have to stand back up and but see standing back up in a non-state like what's that look like? I'll The amount of overthinking that went into this is truly humbling

Like I thought I thought that I overthink everything but to be like I'm an art teacher I can't possibly bend over a sexy way if I drop a paintbrush So i'm gonna develop this new I sort of twist my body Sideways a little bit and then I do like if golem was picking up a paintbrush. Yeah, I go down gorilla style, baby And then I get the paintbrush and I stand up so fast that no one could ever look at me and be like that's a That's a erotic pose right there Perfect. I love it. How do you bring it back? The question is not how to undo the sexy. They've done that How do you bring it back? Oh, thank you, Justin?

Thank you for screen sharing a picture of me talking to a microphone. Now you did pick My big beard face. Yeah, I'm sorry, travis. I should have measured your beard length against your current to find the exact Image or maybe you can stop being such a clumsy Fuck and keep your camera on your desk Well, all right, okay Um, I turned it off because I feared I was too sexy and it would distract you guys um, but now I've made me feel terrible about it and I don't know how to turn with so the weird thing is the camera light is on

So it wants to be on You got it. I'm going to go over to bnh.com and see if they got manuals And I will I will get back. All right, and then all how about this you guys do that and I'll do the show You guys go do some other thing and I'll do the show people are listening to right. I got the orb right in front of me It's not it's not my fault griffin. We weren't ready. Okay, right? Travis would have had his camera in the perfect place So secure. Yeah, all of this would be all set up already. Yeah, we weren't ready for so the bnh snap, you know Look at that picture. You know about so good. Yeah about how to bend over sexy. A lot people think you're eating a mouse

Won't tell you wow that you have you gotta squish your butt cheeks together With your hands Oh To get a sexy bend going to do a sexy bend if you can't squish your butt cheeks together using just butt Muscle it's okay to use your I I'll write you a note that says it's okay So you make it that's all right a note that says it's okay for you to use your hands to squish your butt cheeks together Like a doctor's note. And so when you're your partner is like, why did you do that? I mean, it looks great

But did you need to use your hands? You can show them the note that says griffin said it's okay for me to do it Like that griffin said it's actually very important and fine. I would also say, uh, you know what makes everything sexy What's that doing it a little slower so the slower you can bend over and stand back up the slower you can do it Yeah, the also more eye contact. So slow lots of eye contact And now that's gonna be harder if they're behind you you gotta turn behind so slow slow quick quick slow Yeah, no no no slow quick slow slow quick and the whole time just push them What push them together with your hands push them together with your hands eye contact No matter where they are in the room if they move around you stay locked in on them the whole time

And when when you're picking the thing up you have to say, oh, there it is Every time make sure you see like okay lock into the object first and then make eye contact Because you don't want to whiff on it a couple times because then you're gonna be like, oh, there no, oh there Oh, there it is. Can you tear your pants and make it seem like an accident? Oh to get it all out Yeah How do you sorry? How do you mean tear your pants and make it look like an accident? Well, you're already holding your butt Yeah, yeah, well, they're gonna know they're gonna think you tore your pants with your hands, which is not

sexy Oh, can you hold your butt and then move your butt like it's talking You know that clip of uh, linny kravitz on stage and then he Kind of does like a little dip and then and his kravitz leather his leather pants and his like whole hog Springs forth as if it's been in prison this whole time like It's so it's so tight inside of linny kravitz's pants I just had to get out of there like something like that. I'm the real prince

What it's like the man in the iron mask. Oh, okay I got confused. Yeah I don't know why that was so hard for for me to get Is it that reference is usually right at the top of mine, so it's very surprising Hey, uh, thanks so much for listening to our program. Sorry that while I was gonna say sorry that you were early But that's not my fault. That's your fault Uh, try to work on that for next time griffin. Do you have any notes for the listener they can try to work on? um, I guess

While you are doing stuff on your computer go ahead and uh purchase montane's new album making it montane Of course. Oh, yeah of our theme song my life is better with you that album is fucking great and You are gonna you're gonna love every second you spend listening to it Uh, and I guess I got some stuff here. Yeah, go for it trap. Nice as we may or may not have mentioned doing this It's fall and that means the weather's turning a little chillier So get yourself a munch squad hoodie

Over at the merch store as well as a brand new besties tea, which is available in sienna tea or raglan 10 of all merch proceeds this month go to earth justice Which uses the law to preserve a rich sustainable and diverse natural heritage for current and future generations Check all that stuff out and more at macroi merch.com Get your tickets for the 20 rendezvous fancy takes flight tour tickets for all show are on sale now at bit.ly Slash macroi tours at the end of this month We're going to be in san jose for an adventure zone show And i'm my brother my brother me show and then october 1st

Denver with my brother my brother me and in november we've got washington dc Detroit and cincinati uh all those tickets on sale now at bit.ly slash macroi tours Mask and proof of full vaccination or negative covid test within 72 hours of event start is required Hey, we got pre-orders open for the adventure zone 11th hour graphic novel. Can I talk about that? Yeah It's a fucking great book comes out february 21st 2023, but it would really really Really help us out if you would pre-order that one at the adventure zone comic com. Um Speaking of the adventure zone, I don't want to say some exciting stuff happening over there. Oh, yeah Dust season two just came out with special guest eric e-e

Uh session zero and episode one are out now With three more to come and then after that justin's deeming a full arc So come over and check out the new shit we got going on It's a it's a good time never been a better time. Also. Thank you to everybody who I assume Showed up for dragon con. We haven't actually gone yet. We're recording this ahead time, but I'm assuming it was amazing Yeah Well, that's gonna do it for us this week and we sure hope you've had a good time. We definitely did And so definitely just need a motivational end of the show

a motivational quote Some of the big people okay something to give them something not to tear them down, please Yeah, build them up, please. I heard a lot of feedback that last week. I really tore him tore him apart Yeah, a lot of people said that in a good way. Yeah now build them back up build them up grab the sun Grab the look up grab the sun in the sky and Eat it fucking eat fucking eat it

Eat the sun My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy This is my brother. My brother me. Kiss your dad square the lips Oh It's better You Maximum fun org comedy and culture artists owned audience supported