My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 630: Face 2 Face: Alabaster Hawk, Governor of the Thirteenth

Episode Date: October 3, 2022

Live (at the time) from The Balboa Theater for San Diego Comic Con, it’s a very fancy episode. You see, San Diego Comic Con was a live show that featured discussions of touching orbs, making small talk with people who have more interesting jobs than you, and revealing the secret pants under your regular pants.Suggested talking points: The Sky, Right?, Old Mug with picture of train, Big Hot Spill, Sqütty Pöoty, 69% Sword Discount, Space Jam HorcruxesFair Elections Center: https://www.fairelectionscenter.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts. And their advice should never be followed. Oh, Travis insists, balcony, that he's a sexpert. But if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so you babies out there know how cool you are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, it's the start of something beautiful.

A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's rapping into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like it's better, it's better with you. My life, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, it's better, it's better with you. My life, it's better with you. Hello, San Diego, and welcome to my brother, my brother, and me, an advice show for the

modern era. I am your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. And I am your middlest brother, Travis McElroy. Thank you for making it louder than his. And I'm the Phantom of the Balboa. That is part of the deal, before we get the Balboa, you do have to let the Phantom join the show. And you have to bring your own Phantom, which is like, times are tough.

They had to kill me. Had to. They made me a ghost, contractually. The hardest part was coming up with your unfinished business, because you've done so much. Right now, my unfinished business is finding out what is sharp on dad's hat that stabbed me in the fucking ear when I came out here. Oh, that's the Gamjabar. Oh, no!

Gamjabar! Griffin, no! Oh, sorry, this is Comic-Con, we have to explain. The Gamjabar... You see, fear is the mind killer. In the documentary, Dune. This is Griffin's third night wearing a tuxedo. And...

Well... And... And... Last. It continues to evolve. The cape, without the coat, is new tonight. I do hope you and Sailor Moon finally work things out. I would love that.

Oh, sorry, okay. No mask is a character. Here's the thing that has clicked for me that I didn't realize. Griffin putting on a tuxedo makes him, and he's already a fairly uncomfortable human being day to day. Him putting it on, he begins to move like Vincent D'Onofrio in Men in Black, where he's like, is this how I can't... And like, I'm loving it.

And like, Griffin's like, next year, our theme is about pajamas. It makes me feel so pretty. I felt like a sexier era of Vincent D'Onofrio, where he was like a cool move. How do you choose? Wait, when was that era? Was he in Full Metal Jacket? He was in Full Metal Jacket. And Full Metal Alchemist.

The sequel. Sure. Not a lot of people talk about how those two things are related. Travis, just because we changed the theme does not mean you cannot continue to dress like the rich villain from a dystopian YA novel. Thank you. You can continue to rock that style. His name's Alabaster Hawk.

Yeah. Hey. Governor of the 13th. Everything you guys are describing rules. Yeah, actually, it sounds pretty good for you. I would love that. Are you kidding me? We should have done that instead.

It's not too late. Yeah. We're heading towards a dystopian future faster than you think. And Travis would be a steady hand on the rudder. This is what I'm saying. Could do worse. Could do worse. Could do worse.

Could do better. Could do much better. I'm not going to lie. Could do much better. This is an advice show. You know what I would like to see? You've made me think about this now, Justin. A dystopian novel, right?

But what we're in the middle of is a presidency in this dystopia where it's like, yeah, he's not the best. He's not the worst. It's okay. It's like, we've had worse. We've also had better dystopian president. This is not the setup for a longer, more political bit that Travis is worth shopping. Do not sweat it.

This is an advice show. And we have reemerged here in San Diego, like our friends, the Chilean miners did long before us. We have long been in hibernation here, underneath the Balboa, waiting for our moment, biding our tongue. To strike. We'll cheer that line. Are they, I mean, I should ask you, are you cheering the callback or the tremendous effort

that went into saving the latter? That's it. Y'all just still can't believe how well that all works out. Holy shit. Are you kidding me? They all made it, I think. This is what I'm saying. There's a sliding doors universe in which we're not referencing it, especially not in

our comedy podcast. How many of them would have had to not make it out for Justin to not use that? Because if I mean a quarter of them don't make it, still pretty good. Still not bad. I think baby Jessica messed up the percentages because the 100% of baby Jessica made it out of the well, right? Was that right? Sincere?

Because I don't remember. 100% of baby Jessica made it out of the well. Okay. Comic Con. Baby Jessica was, okay. That actually might be that. Anybody under the age of 32, we probably shouldn't slay that. Imagine a world before Twitter when a child fell down a well and the entire fucking country

lost its mind and cared in a non-jokey way. Everyone glued to the TV. We've got to get this kid out of the well and we did. That was the last time things worked out. And originally she didn't. So I do want to say a huge thank you to Dr. Sam Beckett for quantum leaping back and saving baby. Oh, sorry.

We should have saved. Dr. Sam Beckett. That was a short episode where he leapt in and he was like, am I crawling toward that fucking well? No, thanks. This is an advice. Did they spend a lot of time during that with baby Jessica? Does anyone have thinner arms, thinner, but longer?

Todd has thin arms, Jim has long arms. We need someone in between. How far down was she? This. Look it up, Paul. This is an advice show. Could I have gotten her? I got long arms, Paul.

Travis, I for sure think you've got. You definitely could have got. I think our stretching technology, our understanding of the human physiology has advanced so far in the last 30 years. You know who you could have gotten her? It's our show. I have a baby Jessica report for you guys. Yeah.

It was 22 feet. Okay. So just, just out of my reach. Yeah. Okay. Now I'm like, how did she make it out? Cause who has 22 foot arms? That's a good question.

Okay. Was that like a claw game kind of thing? Hey, I'm pretty good at that too. And thank you, Inspector Gadget for making time in your day to save baby Jessica. Inspector Gadget was French steward is okay. This is an advice show. A lot of people are going to say Broderick. This is an advice show.

Yes, it is. And we take your questions and turn them alchemy like into wisdom. And now we're going to do that. Okay. I promise. You all are fun. I miss this. Okay.

I'm planning on. Are you talking about us? No. Demonstrably. No. I'm planning on going skydiving for the first time. And I need. I need to know what are some topics of conversation I can talk to the skydiving instructor about

while I'm strapped to them gently floating for five to seven minutes. That is from Caitlin. Caitlin, are you here? Hi. Hi. Oh, hi, Caitlin. Okay. What I love sitting awfully low Caitlin, not in the, not in the high up seats.

The laughter and reaction I heard from most of the audience, I believe you shared a similar feeling I did when I first read the question where I thought that's not something I've ever thought about. And now it will be what I think about every time I think about tandem skydiving. Yeah. Because there is a certain point where it's like you get out of the plane, you're falling for a while. You're like, oh, whoa.

There's not. We're still. It's still. Whoa. Ground's still pretty far away. Pulled it a little soon, kind of creepy how soon you pulled it actually freak. I actually want that. If I ever tandem skydive with someone, I don't want to be in like, I got more time.

I'll pull it later. Pull it now. I want it pulled as we're jumping out the door. Yeah. I, um, I think it's interesting that you have prioritized fears and it is one, jumping out of plane much higher than that. What to talk to person while jumping out of plane about. Well, to be fair, jumping out of plane is a, like you're either in plane or not, right?

But talking that can fit loud. There's so many. Gravity only goes one ways, but a conversational discomfort is a wide spectrum because, oh my God, what you don't want to do is say something to upset the person. What if you say like, oh, you watch the football game? Yeah, let's hear it for Marshall. And they're like, I hate Marshall. And you're like, oh, please don't let me die.

I kill you by dropping you to your death. Then they flip over so you're on the ball when they land. I assume I've never thought of it. You know what? I actually think that the onus is absolutely on the person that you're jumping out of the plane with because for you, you're jumping out of a fucking plane. For them, it's Tuesday. Yeah.

Right? I'm gonna come up with some small talk. You're losing your fucking mind thinking, why did I do this? I'm so squishy. This is ridiculous. I've got so many bones. Also, the chances are you've either passed out or peed yourself, which are both great conversation starters when you're strapped to another human being.

How long was I out? And sorry, it's warmer. Do you think it's hard for the instructor to find a balance between like, you don't want to seem scared because that's weird. But it's got to be every time. Yeah. Every time your body's got to be like, oh, God, damn it. Again?

Fuck. Okay. Fine. But you also can't be so laid back. Right. Because the other person is having the experience of like, what are we doing? And if you're like, what did I have for dinner last night? Yeah, you can't.

You're like, what? You got to be 100% dialed in. That's supposed to be a hard line to walk. I also think the question has to be, because when you're doing a tandem dive, I assume you're connected in a pretty, like not permanent, but like what at the butt, they connect you at the butt. Butt to butt. Butt to butt.

And the parachute just comes out from between you. Yeah. Butt to butt. But there has to be a moment when you land and if you don't time the separation well, you land. Whoa, that's awesome. So. So.

You got to unclip us or am I supposed to unclip or? I'm unclipping five feet off the ground. Oh, I'm just doing a halo jump from. Wait, no, we're still, I'm just ready. How many of these do we really need? I have a second parachute in my pocket and I'm base jumping off you. If we spoon on the ground, it's cheating. I also, because chances are the person I was strapped to has heard me say some things

at this point, right? I've done some pretty desperate prayers. I've cursed myself and them. Chances are, why would you let me do this? You're making us heavier. I have kids, you monster is definitely a thing that's coming out of my mouth. I mean, I knew that we'd land and high five and go get a beer together is out of this world.

They've heard me make some death bed confessions. They might have to die. Let's be like, Caitlin, you're worried about the wrong time period because when you're falling through sky, anything goes, they're barely going to hear you. But after the flight, you will be in a van. You'll be in a van driving back to your car and you're going to have to think of eight different ways to say, fuck the sky, right? Yeah, man.

Jesus. Do you remember when we, yes, I remember. As I've said, I was there. Do you remember that we fell out of a fucking plane? Yes. The chance that you will come up with an observation about the experience that this tandem diver has not heard before. That's the real, like, what am I going to say when I'm like, oh, it smelled funny.

That might be good. That could go bad. It could also just be Ozone. Hope that helps. While eating at Fozoli's. My girlfriend will scan our receipt to reap the loyalty points. She will then. They knew loyalty points at Fozoli's?

Yeah. They got to keep you coming back. She will then go from table to table asking strangers for their receipt. That wasn't enough of you reacting that way. Ozone insists it's all right since their points would go wasted. I think it's rude to interrupt a stranger's meal. For reference, points are $1 equals one point and 75 get a free spaghetti. $75.

No, wait, hold on. Are you thinking that's a lot? Because my thing is one point for $1 isn't enough. You got to jack that out. A hundred points for, and it's 7,500 points for spaghetti, whatever, but one point, I know it's just one doesn't feel like a lot. She currently has 140. That's from a lot of Fozoli's you've either consumed or stolen your fellow customers.

I don't think. I'm going to use the word reapsed. Yeah. You've reapsed that many points. Yes. Recycled. Loyalty points are weird if you think about it. Yeah, wait, yeah.

Go to the comedy microphone, Justin. Okay, yeah. Okay, so this is just how my mind, this is just how my mind works, but you'd view skewed view. Yeah. I want to give you my twisted skewed view. Thanks. Careful folks.

He works blue. So I don't talk when he's doing it, you're heckling now. You're heckling. Okay. I'm going to check my phone. So I go to subway. They gave me this card. If I get 10 subs, they'll give me a free one.

But if I like the subs and I want to eat one and I'm giving you money for it, that should be enough. No, don't. That should be enough. Oh, no, this has become a dramatic one-man show because it should be enough that I, if I go to. He's crying. If I go to.

If I go to. Listen to how his accent is changing. He's trying to, no listen, he's trying to supplicate himself before. I'm saying you should just want to go to subway because you want to eat fresh. Yeah. And you shouldn't need to punch a card to feel good about it. Yeah. Yeah, man, for sure.

Now saying bring him home and the audition will be over. I will say that the discomfort that is introduced by having to say the sentence, may I have your fizzoli's points. Yeah. Is as such that I would much rather go table to table and say, may I have one dollar that I may then one day spend on fettuccine. This is, I think that if it is uncomfortable, it is not because of the idea of click the points.

You just got to work on your pattern. Right. Cause if you go over like, Hey, who here likes table magic? You guys like table magic? I'm going to make those points disappear. Right. Something like that. And they're like, I think this is part of it.

I mean, I've never seen a table magician fizzoli's before, but they are wearing a cape and a vest. So I'm defending my PhD dissertation in Oceanography at the end of next month. This live show is my early celebration. My school has a tradition where students sign their names in the rafters of one of the campus buildings when they successfully defend. I always thought I would think of something cool for this, but now it's a month out and I got nothing as three famous who sign your names often.

What's the coolest signature? I study, I shit, you're not whale and dolphin sounds if that helps. As from soon to be PhD in SD. Are you here? Wait, how many of you are there? It's a lot of you defending your, was that echo location? When you say it's a school tradition, is it sanctioned or is it like we did it? Get the ladder.

What you kids, ah, you did it again. If I may. You may. It feels a little presumptuous that you're like, what's the dope shit I can say when I definitely defend my dissertation? No, no, I'm not saying you're going to fail, but I am saying you're putting the cart a little before the horse. This is a time that you're never going to think about whales and dolphins again after

you finish this. Right. Right. This is your last time I have it and think about it. Just power through and think about them for one more month and then you're out. You came to this show early. You're planning. We do appreciate you buying a ticket.

Thank you so much, but you shouldn't have come. You should have just bought the ticket. Yeah. You came to the show to celebrate your signature as soon to be PhD. You're planning on what your, your signature is going to be. That's three pre celebrations. You should drill down. Think about dolphins and the sounds they make for once because you don't know you might

be out at the beach and do whatever it is you do to summon the whales and dolphins to the shore. Don't get them too close though, because then we have to all band together to push them back in. Yeah. And that's a lot of work. It's unpaid work. It's not great.

And what if I accidentally push you out and fall through the whale? Embarrassing. It's super embarrassing. Why aren't you super busy drawing off microphones? I would think that's like such a big part of your day. I'm just saying a whale might make a noise you've never heard before. You'd be like, well, start over. When you defend, when you defend your PhD, is it like a bunch of people in fancy wigs

saying like, that's not what a whale sounds like? I've heard a whale. I bought a CD once at Borders. And you're like, no, that is actually what whales sound like. I don't know. If you haven't practiced making whale sounds with your mouth, you should, because that will definitely be part of the defense. I'm not looking.

No, I'm hiding the sheet music. Just do it. I figure with something like, oh, no. Can you sign in a way where like the Y at the end of your name becomes like a whale? Oh, that's good. That's good. Right? You might make one of those bumper sticker Jesus fish.

Yeah. There's a high ichthuse probability. Could you sign it in dolphin where it says like, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, ee. Listen, this is all insulting, but it's all we know about you. That's true. I'm sure you got a lot of other cool shit going on. The next best thing I have in the question, the next best thing I have is like, I had a whale of a good time here at school.

That's fucking funny. It's fucking funny, though. If you do, if you're the first one to get there, it's yours. Future aliens will be like, Griblar, get over here and check this out. This is fucking hysterical. Now, it isn't important that you then do put a little note of like, I got my PhD in the whale. For context, aliens, I got my PhD in whale sounds.

You get it. Last Christmas, I received a $25 gift card to Red Lobster, but no one will go with me. My friends and Kamali laugh when I suggest going to the restaurant. Restaurant. Is it sad? Oh, now read the question. That old thing. I dusted it out from my rejected by weird alpial.

I get it on that one, honestly, Albert. No, this is a question. Is it sad to go by myself and chow down on the four core seafood feast for 1499? Can I take an unsuspecting date there? Is it bad to use a $25 Red Lobster gift card on a first date? I've never been to Red Lobster before, and I love lobster. That's that's from Lobsterless in Los Angeles. I've never been to our backstay house, but I love Australian culture.

I've never been to McDonald's, but I love Irish culture. How when you say an unsuspecting date, how unsuspecting? Is that like surprise? Like take the blindfold off. The blindfold is actually a bib. We're at Red Lobster. I can tell you the only thing I think would be sad about eating by yourself there is if you didn't use the whole gift card in one meal.

If you said like, OK, so that's what 1499 was $10 one cents left. I'll be back tomorrow. No, it's not good. Yeah. Coconut shrimp, top it on there. Twenty five dollars even. You've got to get it even, though. Got to get it even. If you go over and you're like, and here's a nickel you've lost.

I don't waste your time going there. Are you here? Hi. You know, you could be at Red Lobster, right? Right now or any of the other fine Darden family brands, the gift card will work at any Darden restaurant, including there's no way. Yeah, you could be used to that. All that's too much power.

No, no, no, most of the Darden are interchangeable. You should read the fine print. So don't waste it. You got to wait until the vortex opens up and it's endless shrimp fest. Yeah, because shrimp fest, you are going to extend the value of this gift card in a way where you won't want other people there. And if I may, Justin, you won't want other people to witness. This is what I'm saying.

Right. Most of the time you can't find a guest to join you. This time you can't find a witness. Yeah. And you're not going to want that. Because let me tell you from experience, it's more impressive to tell someone you ate 102 shrimp after the fact. Right. But if you're keeping the count as it's going in front of another human person, yeah, it's not it's not fun.

It's a fun story, but a bad act. Yeah, right. And they are there is definitely like culpability. If I can say that, if you watch someone eat 102 shrimp and you don't try and they're like writing it on the back of a napkin with a pencil so they can keep track to know exactly how many they are getting deeply, deeply specific. Well, maybe you're there with your older brother and his like newborn daughter

and maybe it's the first time you've ever taken your newborn daughter to a restaurant and you want to make her proud with how much shrimp you can eat. And there's a certain amount of what begins with unspoken competition and then becomes very much spoken competition to see how many shrimp your human body can consume. Don't waste time. By the way, sometimes they're going to try to give you shrimp with like rice. Oh, no, that's a fucking suckers.

But it's not rice, fish. No, pasta, rice, potatoes, suckers game. Yeah, those are fillers. They're going to be like, are you sure you wouldn't want some more cheddar bay biscuits? Absolutely. No, but you're going to put those in the go box. I'll take those with me. They don't reheat well, but they are free.

Don't ask for. Do you guys remember that time you paid $40 to watch two adult men tell a great Red Lobster eating story that they did? I guess saying don't cut the legs out from underneath. If you ever go for shrimp fast, one last piece of rice, you're going to want to alternate breaded, saucy, breaded, saucy. Don't do all saucy, too much flavor. Don't do all breaded, too filling.

Too much flavor is a common problem at Red Lobster. This is just too zesty. I can't handle it. And don't pace yourself. Regret it later, not in the moment. That's what I always say. You know that they make you pick your lobster out of a tank. You know that, right?

I mean, tell you its life story about all its children and friends. Red Lobster is a great restaurant. Hey, for your ocenology defense, you should just go burn down a Red Lobster. I defended the hell. This land is defended. Hey, guys. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's time to do some minion quotes.

OK. Now, there is nothing. Here's what I want to say. There's nothing more delightful than this bit. And when I am not the one doing it, what a treat that is. So before we get to the first one. Finding minion quotes is a surprisingly difficult task because of trying to find the right search terms.

Right. And so what I tend to do is I find one and I'm like, this is great. And then I just go through like the related images search. Yeah. And I hit my new favorite version of minion quotes. Can we see the first quote, please? Quote number one. Wait, can you explain how the bit works? Travis, can you explain the rules of the game?

Yes, Justin and Griffin are going to try to guess the cartoon character represented here in this hilarious meme. And if they get it right, I will post it to my Facebook. It's Carfield. Now, Justin, will you read this hilarious caption I found? Happy Tuesday. It's got to be Garfield. He made it through Monday.

He's excited about Tuesday. It's got to be Garfield. Griffin. It's not fucking Garfield. It's too easy. These the artists who create these, Justin, possess minds capable of a type of lateral thinking that you and I can only aspire to.

I think Odie. No, you can't change it. I'm going to say Bart Simpson. OK, reveal. Shit. It's Yogi Bear, my dude, stoned out of his mind. Yogi Bear? With his, I'm just seeing now, far too large collar.

Yeah. OK, fine, whatever. Next image. God, it makes me so mad when I fucking don't get him on this game. It should have been Garfield. OK, reveal. What? Now, this one says it's only Tuesday.

Exclamation point, question mark, exclamation point, question mark. OK. And how has the cartoon character been removed here? Paul has done some Photoshop magic. OK. I feel and this may just be a color palette thing like Fred Flintstone. See when Travis responds with anything other than fuck,

I know it's not. Now I'm trying to keep my game face on. Taz. Like Adventure Zone? Tweety Bird. OK, reveal. You were close, Justin. Oh, that's got a fucking sting, dude.

It was Woodstock. Woodstock can't talk. It's Tweety Bird. That's a badly drawn Tweety Bird. That is not. That is not a badly drawn Tweety Bird. It's a bad Tweety Bird. How dare you say that about Charles Schulter's work.

Take the L. It's a bad Tweety Bird. Our third and final. Now this one says good morning. Happy Tuesday. OK. I found so many about Tuesday. You guys are lucky.

I limited it to three. I had six. Fine. Fine. Fine. I'm going to. This is not my guess. But if I wanted to go down a pretty deep well,

I would say what if that's not an M that the shape is obscuring and it is in fact the noid and those are its fucking ears. Now I will say I had one that contained an M&M and Paul told me that you guys would say that was cheating.

So I have not included any mascots in that way. Thank you. That was a gift you've given me because now I know definitively No, I don't. Fuck. Can we have a hint?

Because it's no fun. No. It's no fun if we don't get any of them. Travis, you have to give us a hint Come on. The energy ending act one on a win is so much better. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. And not a bullshit hint. Just tell us the answer. Tell us the answer so we can embarrass you. There's so little context for these, Travis.

Justin? Griffin? Yeah. Follow your heart. That's fucking Garfield. I'm gonna... Yeah!

We'll be back in just a minute for some more comedy jokes. Send us your questions. We love you. We'll be right back. Is that a... Is that a movie? Griffin, I'm so stressed out.

We had to cancel these shows. I can't imagine why, bro. It's pretty chill out there. No, it sucks. I'm freaking out. We had to cancel these shows. And my brother has COVID. He'll be fine.

But I'm like freaking out. Yeah. It's so stressful. And I just wish I had a way to calm down. Yeah. That's fucking funny. Because we have a sponsor this week. And the name of the business is calm.

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That's how you spell the word calm.com slash my brother for 40% off unlimited access to calm's entire library. That's calm.com slash my brother. I have recently moved to the District of Columbia and had to go get a new driver's license from there. And today I walked in, handed over my paperwork confidently. They're like time to take a photo. And I was like, this is an important moment

because it's going to be my representation in photological form forever. And I looked down and I was just stitch-fix H to T. And I was like, I'm ready. I'm ready for my fashion to be captured. And they took the picture. They're like, this looks so good. We're going to put it in the Library of Congress,

just down the street. Where'd you get those duds, man? And I was like, stitch-fix. Has it worked, Griffin? Well, at the Library of Congress, oh, stitch-fix. It's so stinking easy. You just go through this questionnaire

and they ask you where you get your clothes from, what you like to wear, what your price range is, how big everything is. And then they will send you a box with some stuff hand-picked just for you. Clothes, right? Clothes, yes. Okay, we found a bunch of paper clips.

And all of this. Do you need these? Check it out. It's taste stations. We just have these lying around. No, you try on the stuff. You check the fit. If you like it, you keep it.

You buy it. And if something doesn't fit, you don't vibe with it. You send it right back for free. There's no problem at all. It is incredible. We've all been using stitch-fix for forever. And I'm excited because I've got this, I've got a lot of sort of fall and winter wear

from stitch-fix that I didn't, never really was in the rotation for very long in Texas, but now, baby, it's sweater weather. And it's all stitch-fix from here on out. Right now, stitch-fix is offering our listeners $20 off their first fix at stitch-fix.com slash my brother. That's stitch-fix.com slash my brother for $20 off today, stitch-fix.com slash my brother.

Thank you so much for listening to our episode for this week. This is a lot of fun. I wish we, we, you all could have been there in one big room. I wish Travis could have been here. I wish Travis could have been here, and I wish you could have been there, but you can bring the magic home.

I want to start saying more. Oh, that's fine. You can bring the magic home with our merchandise. We've got some new stuff. A Garrel blanket, designed by Lynn Doyle, at lindoyle.com on Instagram. We got candle and ice wrapping paper, designed by Justin Gray,

who is at part to build on Twitter. 10% of all merch proceeds this month will go to the Fair Election Center, which uses litigation advocacy to remove barriers to registration and voting, particularly those disenfranchising, underrepresented, and marginalized communities, and to improve election administration.

If you want any of that, you can get it at macroemerch.com. We have some shows coming up in Washington, D.C., Detroit, and Cincinnati for Mbem-Bam and Taz, and also San Jose and Denver. We will be figuring out new dates for the shows that we had to reschedule,

I guess, last week when you hear this, very, very soon. All that info and tickets and everything are available at bit.ly slash McElroy Tours. At all those shows, masks can prove a full vaccination or negative COVID tests within 72 hours of event start will be required.

And hey, would you do us a huge favor and pre-order the Taz 11th hour graphic novel? It comes out February 21st of next year, and pre-orders are very important. If you didn't know that already about books, I didn't until we started making them. And it's pretty important, and also the book is good,

and I think you'll feel good reading it. Go to theadventuresowncomic.com right now to pre-order it. Check it out. Have fun. And that's it. That's all of them. We'll be back with a new,

dead episode, I guess, next week. And prayers up for Trav. He's doing much better. But this freaking... So I'm done, man. Corona... I'm done. I'm over it.

Because Joe told me and everyone we whipped this thing. Yeah, it's impossible that Trav's got it. What is his angle? It's weird that he got it. And Justin, let me tell you, I think he did it to, like, try to embarrass the American president.

That's so rude. He'd be like, oh, yeah, it's over, is it? And Joe's like, oh, damn it. He's like, Joe's like, it's not cool to have COVID anymore. And Trav's like, I'm sorry. Sorry, Joe. Sorry, Joe.

Anyway, that's all the ads for this week. Let's get back to the show. Hello, Dreamers. This is Evelyn Denton, CEO of the only world-class fully immersive theme resort, Steeple Chase. You know, I've been seeing more and more reports on the blogs that our beloved park

simply isn't safe anymore. Murdered them? I'm gonna wreck it. They say they got mugged by brigands in the fantasy kingdom of ephemera, or hijacked by space pirates and infant item. I mean, I could have a knife. My papa said that I needed to do a crime.

Friends, I'm here to reassure you that it's all part of the show. These criminals were really just overzealous staff trying to make things a little more magical for our guests. We're just as safe as we've always been. This isn't a county fair, Dreamers. This is Steeple Chase.

The Adventure Zone. Every Thursday at MaximumFun.org. Since the dawn of time, man has dreamed of bringing life back from the dead. From Orpheus and Eurydice to Frankenstein's monster, resurrection has long been merely the stuff of myth, fiction, and fairy tale. Until now.

Actually, we still can't bring people back from the dead. That would be crazy. But the Dead Pilot Society podcast has found a way to resurrect great dead comedy pilots from Hollywood's finest writers. Every month Dead Pilot Society brings you a reading of a comedy pilot that was sold and developed but never produced,

performed by the funniest actors from film and television. How does Dead Pilot Society achieve this miracle? The answer can only be found at MaximumFun.org. I realized moments before we came up here that I have spilled red wine on this rented tuxedo shirt, which I'm pretty sure is, like, the one thing they ask you not to do.

This is also where I go through in this moment. There's no way you're the first person to spill red wine on a rented tuxedo. They're like, throw it in the vat. I may be the first person to charge that to his family business credit card. I recently got a job working at a train museum. Wait. When my next-door neighbor found out about the job,

he told me he had some items he thought the museum might be interested in. Not how that process works at all! I was skeptical, but I asked my boss if they'd be interested in receiving some items from him. She seemed kind of annoyed and said he could email them pictures, but the museum is too full of artifacts already. Okay, wait, real quick.

That feels like there were some words edited out in the middle. They were pretty annoyed, but said yes. It's like, wait, they're not looking to add anything. I told this to my neighbor, but despite this information, he made me take pictures of an old mug with a train on it. And told me to show my boss. Now, every time I see him, he asks me if I've shown her the pictures. Brothers, how do I get out of this awkward situation

without annoying my boss, and that's from Train Lady. I also like that nowhere in there do they say how the boss responded after showing them the picture of the mug. But we can all assume. Yeah, we know. Like, the rest of that story wasn't like, oh, fuck! Check out that mug! Yeah! I do.

I want to quibble with something before we're helpful, and maybe this lets you off the hook. I take Umbridge with the train museum boss who's like, what do they have? Old train shit? Ugh. Like, do you have the dopest old train shit already? And you know it.

The fact that you're closed off the possibility. Secondly, if people who run old train museums can't get excited about old train shit, what are we even doing? Like, you should be the one person who's like, no, you don't get it. It's a mug with a train on it. What we've got, Justin, is a classic scenario.

When they started the museum, oh, God, they were so passionate about trains. They cared so much, they had a fire burning inside, but now years have passed, and the world has crushed that fire out, and now you, the young train lady, have a chance to come in and reignite that fire with your passion for this busted-ass mug.

Did anybody else imagine it as a museum where everything's tiny, like, model train size? Okay, so that wasn't just me. That's not a museum, though, right? You can't be a museum to that one thing a guy bills. That's just Rod Stewart's attic. Rod Stewart's way into model trains, by the way. Hey, this is Comic-Con.

They know that Rod Stewart's way into model trains. He's blown a lot of his money off model trains. These people, it's just labyrinth quotes and Rod Stewart trivia with this crowd. Train magic? Okay. I mean... I think you should say, like, we have it,

we're putting it in a... You know, in real museums, they don't exhibit everything all the time. I'm sorry, real museums? Sorry. I didn't mean that. Okay, no. You know what? Fuck off. Real museums aren't like...

Real museums aren't like... The paintings got enough. No, hold on. Hard pass. It's a triceratops. What? No, thank you. If everybody who worked at the Louvre came in and said, my neighbor has a painting, do you want it? The Louvre wouldn't be like, hell, yeah, we do.

The more the merrier. Well, and more specifically, no one comes into the Louvre saying, my neighbor has some drinkware with a painting on it. You guys like the Mona Lisa? Well, I have a blacklight poster of the Mona Lisa. Do you want that too? You know the Mona Lisa?

What if you could sip a bev out of her head? Now I've got you interested. Oh. I... Yeah, I think just take it. Yeah. I think just take it and leave it at the museum. And then anytime he comes by, put it out.

Just like he was, like, an in-law or something, it's fine. This is going in the private vintage. They actually, they would have displayed it, but it's too valuable. They can't afford the insurance. It's too erotic. This is going in our erotic section. You must be 21 years old.

There is beaded curtain. It's a haunted doll watch. When you listen to this recording later, you'll be like, wow, that was really smooth how they transitioned from one thing because none of that will be in there. Let's meet Mary. Oh, oh, we got track by Ludacris.

They got orb on this track? Paranormal. It's a regular doll. Don't freak out. Paranormal metaphysical doll vessel. Touched orbs, free spirit reading, free gift. Touched orbs? Sounds like something that you say

when you're in high school and are trying not to sound like you are a virgin. Yeah. Oh, me? I for sure touched the orbs. It applies to so much. I guess you could say, thine orbs have been touched.

And yeah, I got a free gift. Yeah, Link. It got metaphysical. Paranormal metaphysical doll vessel. Touched orbs, free spirit reading, free gift. Greatly powered, my friends. Her name is Mary. It's like she's carrying a derringer.

She is positively touched and charged. She will be out tonight for the supermoon charging. Did you know that if your haunted dolls are running a little low, you can take them out during a supermoon and charge them up and follow that good spirit juice that they crave. Your personal card readings

have been drawn during listing with Mary's help. Listen to that called shot. I did a reading for the person that will buy this with the help of my assistant, a doll. Who you are buying. Who you will buy. Wait, but during the listing,

was it during every other word? When did they stop and do the... A special prayer and intention has been sent out for Mary's new owner. So that's like... Wait. She just hit select all on her phone and just uploaded everything.

I mean, to be fair, that's a top-notch cat. That's a great cat. Cat has buoyed the power of the show. I'm saying like a special prayer and intention has been sent for Mary's new owner. Mary... This is... Listen. Mary... Because I will not repeat it unless you ask me to.

Mary comes with a gorgeous bracelet. I do not see a stamp mark in it. I do not see a stamp mark in it. I do not see a stamp mark in it. Mary comes with a gorgeous bracelet. What is that image though? So it's basically the seller saying like, don't try to take this on the Antiques Roadshow.

There's no stamp mark in that bracelet. The bracelet gets lost and found often. That sounds fucking annoying. I don't want to buy that. Mary attracts orbs and spirits. Take photos of her when you request communication to the lost. Fucking wow. Okay, so they went out for the supermoon charging.

Person took a break from writing this listing to go out and do the charging and then return to the listing. Take another break to do a reading. Right. I revised listing to show orb manifestation during supermoon. Incredible! Yeah. Okay, real quick.

Paul, let's go ahead and enhance the orb... the orb manifestation. That I'll remind you, the cops can just look at no problem. Orb manifest. No, no, zoom in on the... Okay, yeah, they should have clicked the featured image that has the fucking orb in it. That's a Hyundai Sonata.

Right there. That's not two orbs. That is a Ford Taurus. Nice try. A day ghost. Okay, email with questions. Are you sure? Because I got a few paragraphs worth over on this end.

Lucky numbers included free? Talking with her tonight sent Coco nuts. Oh, that's a cat. That's the cat. Look at that cat going wild. Do you take that to mean that she was talking to the doll and it made her cat wild, or that her cat was talking to the doll

and it just drove her apes shit? Justin, if I could real quick, you pretend to talk to the doll and I'll be the cat. Okay, that's how I think it went. Would you like a treasure from the... Ah! Talking with her tonight sent Coco nuts. If I could buy that note, maybe it's sold out.

It went for no bids. No one bid on it. That's all right. I don't know why. It sent Coco nuts. We asked you, our beloved audience members, for your queries, if I may be so bold. Let's begin.

Hello. Hello, I'm Annie. Hi, Annie. My pronouns are she, her. Hi, Annie. My question was, how do I avoid seeing naked people at work? Yeah. And you know what?

Can I tell you, Annie? Yeah. I hope your job is like, I work at McDonald's. Like, what context? So, I work in retail. Yowz. Oh, it's a fitting room thing, right? Yes, it is.

Thank God. And I'm just, you know, doing my thing, helping her out, finding her sizes, and I come back with her item that she asked for, and the door swings open. You know, butt ass naked, all right? That's all, that's all you need to know. You said that in a way that was so...

Butt ass naked. You get it, right? I was alarmed to say the least, but I had to remain calm. We don't do that. We don't do that. I don't do that. No. Not there.

In fact, sometimes when I'm trying to close on in the store, if I hear other people talking, it breaks the spell. I'm just reminded of like, oh no, I share this space with other human beings. I hate this. Well, and the bigger issue, Annie, is that underpants are the secret pants we wear underneath. Oh, that's an excellent point.

Underpants. What kind of stuff do you say? Underpants are the secret pants we wear underneath so that that exact scenario doesn't happen. I know that I have at least that. If all else fails me clothes-wise, I know I have the secret pants that I wear under my big pants.

Yes. If a big spill happens, a big hot spill, and burning is an issue, or a bug gets up there, I have options. I have smaller pants underneath my large ones. That I keep underneath that are humiliating. Yeah, but... Not illegal.

Yeah. Humiliating for one, not both. Which is what new that is. Yeah. Can we all agree? Anytime someone is... We should all be deeply ashamed of our bodies. Exactly.

Thank you, Travis. It's gross what's going on down there invariably. What even is that? No one knows. No one knows or understands it. Knocking? No, it seems like you knocked, they opened, and they're like, check it out.

Look at my emperor's new clothes. Was their behavior as such that you assumed, that they assumed this was an everyday thing for you? Yeah. That you had become so immunized, so inured to the nude form, that you would just be like, oh, whatever. That's what you have going on?

Seen it? Were they an older person? Yes. Okay. This is my gut. In the 40s, they didn't have Twitter, so they just got naked all the time. I do think that there is, as time passes,

you're like, I don't have time for a modest day. Right? Is the feeling of like, oh, no, that's bad, actually. We should all have time for a modest day. That should be, but I find myself feeling that way more and more. Did they? Hey, did they say ta-da? No.

Thank God. Good. Good, good. That's a relief, honestly. Thank you. I think in that circumstance, it's really justified to go, no. No.

Please. You have to leave this baby's RS. I insist that you see your way out. You're trying on a starter jacket. What's wrong with you? You don't winnie the boo a starter jacket. You wear pants. Does that help?

Very much. Thank you. Oh, good. What a relief. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hello.

My name is Eric. I go any pronouns? It's a great dress. Thank you very much. It was $7 at a thrift store. Oh, yeah. Wow. Wait, hold on.

Are you from the Midwest? Because that's a Midwest reaction. This? $5. I got to say, Eric, I have to come up in the words of my friend Macklemore, our relative Macklemore. Yeah. What any change his name?

Let me change his name. Eric, what's up? Good question. So I got into D&D from the Adventure Zone a few years ago. Nerd. Yes, sir. Oh, yeah. Get him.

Oh, okay. Wait real quick. D&D stands for Dungeons Not Dragons. Actually, it's Dungeons Not Dragons. Okay. Go ahead. And I made a bunch of dork ass friends. And being the only handy person I know, they went, hey, can you make us some swords?

Okay. And you responded, yes. Of course. Sure. Of course. What was your skill set before this moment? Making one sword. Okay.

Yeah. I assume, Derek. Okay. I have run into this exact problem. I do things with wood one time and I've done that now. I don't ever want to do it again. Then people say, can I have one? I don't think so.

I already did it. So I'll do something else. Thanks. Okay. What is your question? Now, I don't want them to stop, but I do need to know what to tell my mom because I'm home from the summer from school. I'm out there with an angle grinder, going ham.

Yeah. What do I say to her about- Mom! Put on some goggles! Way too loud. Trav, that was way too loud. Hey, mom. That was unamplified for me.

I'll try it. Let me try it like this. I can't. No, no, no, no, no. Back off, mom. Put on some goggles. I'm working. That'd be good.

And now some ASMR. Can you make your mom like a custom blade? Are your friends paying for these swords? One yes. Two no. Oh, hey, guess what? You only have to make one sword. Yeah.

Yeah. And also, it's a part-time job. Mom's love part-time job. Yeah, I'm making money off of this. Slam dunk. But when you say they asked and so I just started, everyone in your life should tell you not to do that. It's, hey, I've done blacks, I think.

It's really hard. Don't make swords for free. Yeah. It's a romantic gesture. One of them. Okay. All right. All right.

Now we didn't know romance was involved. You can give them a discount. A 69% discount. Yeah. They're going to lose it. They're going to lose it. What? Oh, okay.

You wanted to. Justin, he said the, he said the num. Did you hear? Oh, the sex num. This hand is injured. So I only have the one option. I hurt myself carrying bags because I'm old. And I've also reached an age when I say that and people go, no, it's not a joke and they

don't laugh and it makes me sad. Does that, I mean, I know the answer, but does that help what we've said? I think enough because she's right up there. Okay. Hey. All right. Back off, mom. So cool.

You brought your mom. We don't spend enough time telling mom what's up on this show. Hey, how's it going? Can I say something? It's been a while since we've done live shows. I never do this. I never do this, but that's a great shirt. Thank you.

Yeah, I don't wear that. That's a real Justin shirt. You don't have to wear that. Give it to us. No, no, no. Don't, don't, don't, don't. I can't. As we said, everyone needs to hide their bodies.

Okay. Uh, but if you had another shirt under there that looks exactly like that. Let the person talk. Okay. Hello. Who are you? My name is Dom. Hi, Dom.

Hi, Dom. Hi. Um, so I have a squatty potty. Yeah. Bragg. Yeah. Great. Really choice made out of wood.

Uh, just beautiful. Everyone in the audience just had this same incredibly specific reaction. I'm like, what? It's the thing you put your feet up on. Oh yeah, we know. We stand the squatty potty here. My brother, my brother. If you don't know, it's a, you've been pooping wrong.

I'm sorry to break the news to you, but the squatty potty makes you poop right. What's great is I think that the Venn diagram of, um, like people with kids and older people who care about squatty bodies is a perfect circle. Yeah, for sure. Like whatever's going to make things go faster down there. Yeah, great. So I can get right back to parenting. Yeah.

If you don't, some of you don't know it pushes your legs, your knees up in the air. So your butthole doesn't look so stupid. Thank you. Thank you. So you can blow it right the fuck out. It also improves your aim for whales. Okay. So anyway, I did not know squatty potty was doing tasteful wood numbers.

I assumed this was something you assembled. Yeah, I, I, now looking at that, that's an Ikea squatty. That's like a squinty-pooty. Where did you? A squinty-pooty. It's a squinty-pooty. It's a squinty-pooty. Squinty-pooty.

Four hours to assemble it. You know, Ikea humor. Okay. Hey, have you guys ever dissociated while during a live show? Okay. So what is your question about the squatty potty? Well, it's nice enough to show off. Yeah.

Obviously. I don't know if I want to. Okay. With COVID and everything. Yeah. Doing what it's doing. Wait. Okay.

There are definitely parts of your body that I'm afraid of COVID on. Bottom of your feet. Not one of them. It's just rather, should I hide it or not? No. Who's a whore at that point? I guess you. That was a stupid thing to say, huh?

I think it's... You're also talking to three men with bidets in their house, by the way, which is always great when a guest comes over. And you're like, try it. And they're like, not now. There is no way to show it to someone that you have a bidet in your house and not end it with, forget I said anything. Yeah.

Showing someone that you have a bidet is a 100% guaranteed way to make sure they will not use the bathroom at your house. Yeah. There's no way. Because the two options are, one, they go in the bidet room and you give them a... Have fun. Enjoy.

Or the afterwards like, did you? Well, how did I go? Or that they don't know what the fuck they're doing in there. And they blast off. Yeah. Why do they keep putting blast off buttons on bidets? And label them. It's hilarious, but I fixed the roof three times.

I'm done. I think that if you show someone that you have a squatting party, I think it introduces to them this idea that they pooped wrong their whole life. And I don't think that's very nice. I think it's kind of like you just lost the game, right? Like, I don't think you should introduce... Oh, sorry about that to everybody. I don't think you should introduce this.

You were... Okay. Were you happier... Before you found out... ...in your beautiful ignorance. In your beautiful ignorance that you pooped wrong your whole life. Listen, it took longer, but you were happier. Anytime you go to a Bucky's or a Wawa,

do you need to use the bathroom? And you... And it's just like this... I know I'm doing this wrong. Is it this hard for everyone? Why isn't the floor sinks? It's just higher. Hey, this sucks, right?

Hey, give me two of those cases of Pepsi in here. And no reason. I would have fashioned my own DIY. Were you happier before you knew? It's been pretty great since. Yeah, it's also... That's hard to answer because we all used to be happier. Wait, great since?

Are you telling me it fixes that too? No. We all learned about this the same way. We were just doom scrolling on Facebook and saw the ad come up with the 3D diagram of our stupid idiot all squinched up colon. And the unicorn pooping? That was it, right?

Yeah, and that's it. And they were good commercials because pretty much they were instantly like... As you're scrolling through it's just like... Patriotic Naughty. Baby, I don't care about it. You pooped me wrong! Whoa, hold on.

Because on some level I always knew. This can't be right. This can't be how I was intended. This can't be the best version of this. Can I... Can I... I'm gonna do a little fun little... See if I can soothsay this a little bit.

I am guessing based on the fact that you bought a wooden squatty potty that you owned earlier, a crude plastic squatty potty, yes? It was more like a trash can or anything I could find. Wait, wait, hey. No, dog, that...

You know that's not the same, yeah? And when you say it was like a... It was a trash can, right? Yeah, it was a nice gold trash can. So you could also do bongos. I think that you now must tell everyone you have a squatty potty. I've decided it's no longer advice,

it's a sentence. You must tell everyone. And then you say... And then you look at them dead in the eyes and say, don't laugh, I used to use a trash can. Well, it was like a trash can. It was my off... It was my off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off, off...

Broadway production of bringing the noise, bringing the funk. I brought in a lot of funk. The funk outweighed the noise. Does that help you? Absolutely. Okay, what a relief. Hello.

Hello. Who are you? My name is Mary Beth. Hi, Mary Beth. My pronouns are she-they. Thank you. And my question is, how many copies of Space Jam?

The first one. Thank you for clarifying. It's 100% incredibly meaningful. Is it okay to own? We have six. You have six. We have five DVDs and one Blu-ray. My husband wanted to make the distinction.

Okay. Hey, thank you. That's huge. Certainly that changes the English on this. And so Mary Beth, just contextually, when you say we have six, is that the right? His husband has six, right?

Yeah. Okay, fine. Unless you have one and he has five, baby. Okay. They are all his. Okay. Okay, now Griffin. Yeah.

You made a statement about this backstage and I want you to repeat it because I have feelings that I've seen them. Okay. The number of copies of Space Jam that is too many to own is two copies of Space Jam. Because, and here's the only reason

why I feel like that. Wait, wait, wait. Sorry. Physical copies? No, I would count digital amount. Okay. The one copy of Space Jam is gonna have all of Space Jam on it.

Okay. No, no, no, no. Let me tell you why. Let me tell you why you're wrong and I love you so much. No, hold on, wait. There's no way I'm wrong. They really do put all of Space Jam

right on the one DVD. Okay. You've never heard the term special edition? You already own Space Jam. What's that? A new version comes out. Not only that, you need a legacy version to give your kids and your grandkids.

There's one you watch and there's one you protect. I am 35 years old. Bragg. DVDs were invented well after I was born. Uh-huh. I do not own any more DVDs nor do I know where to acquire a DVD player on which to play.

Putting a lot of faith in the cloud, Griffin. Yeah, it's a lot of cloud faith. You gotta have a thing that is often associated with the word dissipate. Wow. Think about it. If you... Sheep.

If you... You gotta have one for the car. Yep. Because your kids are like... Space Jam. Space Jam. Space Jam. Yeah.

And we took a tour bus on our last tour or two tours ago and they had a copy of Space Jam in there and I doubt that's their home copy or their personal car copy. So that's Space Jam for car. Space Jam for home. Space Jam for business.

Say a business. Yes, thank you Travis. A business Space Jam. Oh, this is my professional Space Jam. You gotta say one copy just in case. Yeah. For special occasion. No, no, no.

Just like you need one behind glass, right? In the deposit box of the bank. I love that you guys were like, you put a lot of faith in the cloud and then you're like, here's all of our Space Jam Horcruxes that we fucking embedded throughout the fabric of time and space.

No, I'm sorry, but Marybeth even made the point. Blue, right? DVD. VHS. Laser disc. Vinyl. Mini disc.

They, they change these moves. This is a thumb drive that I've just written Space Jam on. Space Jam used to be on it, but now it's season three of Great British Make Off. Like you all remember, you're old enough to remember

what they did to Star Wars, right? What if they do that to Space Jam and you can't get the good one anymore? But you do need to own a copy of it. A copy of it just, oh. Don't. Okay, so. Don't.

Don't. I think, okay, so I've proven four mathematically. Yeah. Home, car, business, just in cases. And then a streaming one. That's like, that's five.

Physical one, one of the physical ones came with a digital version where you enter the code. So that's five. Yeah, but you're not going to get that across all your devices. I bet y'all,

I'm not even on the Wi-Fi. I bet you in 60 seconds, I could be watching Space Jam. Okay. Hold on, hold on. We got a timer. No, no, we got a timer right in front of us. I'm going to hit it though.

Okay. Okay, at 410, I'm going to start it. Ready? On your mark. All right, wrap up. Go. Does that help? Hey, does that help?

Yes. Okay, thank you so much. Okay, I have 60 seconds. Thank you to Tyler Reed for our posters. Thank you to Paul Sabore and thank you to Rachel Jacobs for recording us. Thank you to Amanda and Nate

and Shannon, one of our amazing staff members who's here, Shannon. Griffin, still trying to watch make sure we have 25 seconds. Thank you to Clinton McElroy, his wife, Carol, who made the journey with him

and keeps him from wandering into traffic. Thanks to Sam from AEG who put the show together. Thank you, Sam. Thanks to the Balboa. Always a beautiful place to do a show. We really appreciate it. 45 seconds.

I love you. We'll be back tomorrow to do Taz when it's going to be a good one. No! What? Griffin, what's wrong, Griffin? HBO Max is denying you, eh? Amazon Prime wants my five-digit video pin.

That's a minute. $59.93. He didn't do it. Griffin sucks, everybody. Griffin, as a record, oh, thanks to Montaigne for the use of our theme song and my life is better with you.

Griffin, as seeing as you failed the battle... I spent $7 to rent Space Jam 1. I'd like to hear your... To win an imaginary contest. I would like, as recompense, I would like to hear your impression of Bugs Bunny telling everybody how badly you fucked up.

You don't want to miss this, folks. I've heard his bugs, and it's out of this world. What a... What a fucking... Idiot. He's Justin McElroy. Travis McElroy.

Griffin McElroy. This is with my brother, my brother, me, Kids Your Dad Square on the Lips. It's better with you. It's better, it's better with you. It's better, it's better with you. It's better, it's better with you.

It's better, it's better with you. It's better, it's better with you. Is it true? It's better, it's better with you. It's better, it's better with you. It's better with you. MaximumFun.org Comedy and Culture

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