My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 634: Universally Unpleasant Gestures

Episode Date: November 1, 2022

We're really elevating the brand, striving for a more grown-up adult vibe. So we're trying out some new mature segments, like Fitting in with the Dads, How to get the baby bookings, and  Justin McElroy's Munch My Stuff.Suggested talking points: Chili Splash Zone, Plenty-A-Centa, The Secret But for Bad, Keep Your Ribs, I'm More Delicata Squash than Man, The Biden-McElroy AgendaFair Elections Center: https://www.fairelectionscenter.org/  

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up you cool, baby? Precious friendship Could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better

It's better it's better It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me an advice show for the Modrin era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. Hello governor. I'm your middle brother Travis McElroy And I'm your sweet grown-up brother Griffin McElroy. We are back in the saddle again Backstates I had this realization Yes That this was while we were on our hiatus. So we're the last episode you recorded would have been

Like mid-october 13th was the last who can say that is the longest time I Have gone without recording an episode of my brother my brother and me since I was a 30 year old man since I was Sorry 29 years old Yes, since I was 29. It's the longest I've ever gotten Gone without you're only 30. You're only 33 now. No, I'm an old man and what I realized is um I Had been contextualizing bad stuff that happened to me in my life

With like well at least I'll be able to tell this story on the podcast Yeah, I see now when things happen guys Since we record our last episode I Spent two straight calendar days doing nothing But making 15 gallons of chili and then serving 30 gallons of chili now Sorry, that's not kind of loaves and fishes shit. Is that just you made 15 and then there were 30 Well, how did you do this? He cut he cut it Water

Some water and some wood shavings So, okay, you my wife this is how long it's been my wife has forgotten this is just the sacred Yeah, I made yeah, I had some people also making chili Mary made like 15 gallons of chili and then I I served 30 gallons guys 15 gallons of chili is so gross Yeah, yeah, and I feel like it's probably the worst with chili there's probably other foods But like I was have these giant freezer bags, and I would just like That's not the best way to move And then I'd have this big vat of chili that I'm stirring all day

I'm stirring this frozen chili, and then I would take it over to the serving pot And then yeah, I would watch it and I would beg them like first off take step back because you were in the chili splash Please don't watch this when you see this amount of This boiling chili into a big pot guys that draws too much attention to what a shared experience that is and like Feeding pigs that a trough, right? It's just like a Parisian is too obvious at that point I wouldn't talk about this on a more politically minded podcast, but I think here I'm in safe company our booth was the Democrat Like county Democrats, and then our booth is directly positioned across from the county Republicans

I mean direct and these dudes brought two full-size cardboard stand-ups of My man DJ Wow was Trump was watching and presiding over the chili festivities over at their booth known chili aficionado They did it a fix Donald It was a windy day they didn't hold on. Oh, no He flat-stand-lead around everywhere. That's fun flying away. It's great at least well

Can I ask a question? Did they at least hang a sign on DJ Trump that said like? Yum-yum chili time or yummy? Just standing like a gargoyle and silent about the chili bad president good chili eater boy They we started serving 11 and they were done by 12 and it turned out they had only brought one pot of chili No, and it's like guys Yeah, that's the same shows the same way that they think about politics and cuz they're Like one pot Travis, they brought one pot of chili and two Donald Trump's

I don't want to tell you your business, but maybe half the drums twice the chili Then what the dudes came over to our booth is like do you have a cup? Like what he said do you have a cup and luckily another candidate had brought provided cups with his logo on them So I gave him when he said thanks. I got a skim all this grease off the top Wow Seems like you guys really poured your heart and soul under this jelly Oh my god, but I felt pretty I was hoping that you were gonna say like they came over and they're like Hey guys, could we have some of your chili to give away?

You seem to have a lot of chili like the ants in that one story and we're like the grasshoppers in that story And if you could give us some of your chili to give to potential voters and say that we made it that would just be great Yeah, I I've had a while. I drove a truck in a parade Justin yeah, it was like the whole I mean I went to a castle and stuff, but no go on about your chili in your car Thank you, yes, but the thing is we know all about we know all about your castle Travis. Yeah, sweet You went I went to like three castles dude. Yeah, three Yeah, were they all really different? No, they were basically like big stone buildings. Yeah, sure We never really got wild with the architecture like I walk around my neighborhood now and I'm like that building was different

Oh, look, that's like that's a mid-century monument. Oh, this is and like castles man They pretty much did just like squared off stone buildings. How are the buttresses though flying? Wow, and the battle man. Oh, yeah, it was there. It's definitely there the pork call us forget about What about the Bailey the Bailey it was old Yeah, it's been a while I've been thinking a lot about elevating my brand in the last two weeks, okay Like and this is true I think for all of us and I've been meaning to talk to you guys about this for a while so maybe maybe maybe this isn't the show but I

Think we're grown up adult men. I think we're grown up people sure and there's a vibe of Specifically me I think because I have put toys in my mouth before yeah that I'm like a Some sort of boys still but I like I have a mortgage and two children And so I've been thinking about like having my brand instead be like grown-up responsible Cuz it's all true. It's just not the face that it's not the public-facing It's also not as funny or interesting, but it's like well, maybe not Travis, but it's it's real And I think people want real shit now. So I'm like I'm like Janus

Flipping the mask around The guy has two faces and so now the goofball Who eats who like eats toys and and bananas talks about like toilet humor and stuff like that Like he's in the back now and up front is Grown-up Griffin McRoy. I Okay, I care deeply about grown-up stuff. Okay, okay Give me an example of something that you like care more about than you did. I mean just two weeks ago Yeah, publicly I care more about than two weeks ago

Yeah, what part of this like new rebrand the new Griffin like if you were gonna say like now I care about blank instead of Pokemon Yeah, I would say sort of like Moisturizing, okay moist. I'm huge on that shit now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I realized that I wasn't wet enough ever basically Serums I do I have a I have a salve. I have an urgent that I apply On every every full moon That really is what keeps me going. There's a lot a lot a lot of placenta in that one But it keeps it keeps it tight and very very very wait Are you using plenty of center because I've been using plenty of I've been using plenty of sense the day I turned

29 years old. Yeah, I can tell because that's when things really start to drop off, but the plenty of center tightens dampens Revives revitalizes and even now I can tell I'm getting silly again. Like, you know what I mean, it's work It's work to elevate your brand, but like, you know Do you guys know what I'm saying? I feel out on a branch right now No, I feel like my brand is solid and everybody is just really in favor of it. I don't feel like there's any holes in my brand People often lift me up and so like hey Travis I notice that like you seem to be like the best and like yeah, they're always three and The most like just completely I I think the word is neurovergent. I think is what it is. You're just a real neurovergent guy

Yeah, that's what they definitely say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Justin anything you want to say about your brand? Uh, how's your brand? Mine's Mine's pretty well fucked at this point. You know what I mean? I've done enough stuff where I don't know that I have much of a brand anymore. I feel like yeah I've kind of ruined my you know what it I think it was it was becoming a notary public Yeah, you think that's real. Oh juice. That's an inspiration for me. Oh really? That's like once I hit that point I'm like once I'm a notary public and a sommelier like then I'm I'm for real done

I have put my childish things way the fuck behind me now because I can sign government documents and shit But I think if I may yeah, go ahead. Justin is saying to us Griffin what you're talking about is like a redirection of your brand And what I think Justin is saying is his brand became so dispersed between everything that he's doing all at once I see you cannot pin down one thing about Justin It's like, oh, do you mean the guy who like is a notary public and is count donut like those two things Oh, wow, that's beautiful. Like Janus the mask it flips. Yes, but it's like if his mask had like 162 faces I think it's a problem. You know what it is. I'm a modern renaissance man. That's exactly

Oh, that's a good brand. That's a good brand. Oh Way up there, man extremely elevated I like to think that my brand is like, uh, just lazy cult leader like I could do it But who can be bothered like that's kind of what I'm going for the beard has has been bad for my brand too I think so. I think so in a major way. Okay. Good. I just want to make sure you know what it is good for your face Yeah, right for your face. You know what it has allowed me to uh, sort of um Insert myself into certain dad circles that I would not

Welcome into because while they may be able to talk about sports and stuff If I see one of them's got a beard I got an in I'm in. Yeah, you want to talk about beards? Of course you do. It's all you think about It's oh just me. Okay. Good. Good. Good. It's way cheaper than it's way cheaper than buying an e-bike Like I had to do to fit in with the cool city dads here in dc Who do fucking wheelies and stunts? I don't get dads now. We're not even doing the show anymore We haven't talked about it like half a month Uh, what I don't get because I realized this recently like if you're like a full-blown like dad joke dad

You gotta dye your hair to a different color because the dad jokes that this were like the number of people like I love your hair and I'm like thanks. I love it too But I hate ruining pillowcases like the number of like just straight up a dad joke as much as it is That's not so much a dad joke as much as it is just like a thing that is true And I think annoying about uh hair color. I'll give you Yeah, I like wore a pump. I I did a pumpkin carving contest that I was the mc4 um Man, justin your life has just gotten off there. Is this season two of your life?

They're just like we gotta ramp up the vid does feel like that break in battle star when they come back three years later It was like this is the matter Yeah, why? Thank you, Travis. Um, I uh, I had a pumpkin pumpkin suit on like like mr. Pumpkins Yeah, but it wasn't a pumpkin costume. It was just a pumpkin suit and people be like, I love your costume And I would say thanks. I had a wedding earlier today like that. Oh, that's good. That's really good stuff juice I like that Should we do the

I got a lot of like I got some munch stuff some munch related stuff to talk about I'm excited It's gonna be too late to change the name of the bit to munch stuff Like I just like the way that it's uncomfortable in my mouth as long as we're elevating the brand This is just in macaro's munch my stuff It's Oh, that's a much my stuff. It can be like a old like playstation video game intro Stinger much my stuff

And if it's a thing that makes you really mad you can say like, uh, this helps my munch This really munches my stuff Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good. So let's do a question I just had a baby last month and all my friends and family say he's adorable. I obviously think so too. However Dude all the baby hormones. I'm not sure my judgment could be trusted. What if I'm just surrounded by liars How can I tell if my baby is really cute or if people are just lying to me and that's from cute fuse in Chicago? Travis was there an image attached? Well, no, they specifically said

They didn't want us to like be biased by an image because this isn't about our judgment on whether the baby is cute or not Because how would they know to trust us? Right? This is about how can they trust? Oh, like they should know that I don't care So like you can definitely I want most folks to know that when you ask my opinion on most things And you're not an immediate family member of mine. You're gonna get the gosh the gosh darn honest truth Because I I mean you need to be mirrored. Don't we all Oh, that's an interesting point griffin because I would have said I would lie to strangers and be honest with my family And no, come on No, because I have to see you guys like all the all the time and we work together all the time

So if I say like a bad thing to you about you that I felt for a long time then like uh-oh next recording time Uh-oh You know schedios, but if I see a stranger with a busted looking baby Then like, you know, I can let them know that and then they can take the necessary steps to To beautify that baby. Uh, do that Step up the game get a flipper in there brand. Yeah extension something elevated. Listen Uh, people lie. You know who doesn't lie? Animals if your animals are reacting to your baby like like a disney princess birds landing on their shoulder

Dogs want to lick their faces. I think it's safe to say that's a cute baby Cute is a human cute is a human reaction though. Like we don't if animals animals don't have like cute instincts Excuse me, sir. Like a baby cat like your baby is cute for a baby cat, but not Cute for yeah, that's fair. Well, then why are why are dogs and cats always putting on cute outfits? Huh, if they don't have like cute instincts, huh? Think about that. Justin. Yeah, you actually I'm hoisted by my amperturbed. I'm not Thank you Um, I think I think all babies are

Cute like they're no no. Well, hold on even the ones that even the ones that aren't like traditionally handsome babies They're still like They're really really little and they can't do they can't do anything and that part's great I I agree that that's great. Their vulnerability definitely wins me over. There's so little and they fuck up non-stop and they Just like piss and shit like whenever they want to that's like

That's big cutie behavior if you ask me frankly for me and listen, I might be in the minority here But I like me a wall of Sean looking baby. You know what I mean? It's like ill for me Yeah, I love it. Give me a baby with a tonsure on on the top. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, just a little just a little shiny fontanelle right up there Sometimes you see a baby trying too hard and it's like yeah, man. I get it. You're conventionally attractive for a baby All right. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna I'm gonna blow this one wide open um You can't trust people

Yeah, tell you the honest truth about your baby. There is only one force that we can turn to at times like this It's capitalism Here's what I want you to do. I need you to take that baby to los angeles california Oh, you are gonna put your money where your mouth is and you're gonna start pushing that baby You need a baby agent. I recommend baby joe beglock He's just like our agent but a baby Okay, I have to go around and say like I gotta take my shot and then you just Start cranking it if that baby is really cute

You're gonna start booking and that is the only thing you can trust is your baby booking Yep, because this is also a good chance. Listen, your baby might be cute right being accused easy But this is also a good chance to figure out is your baby driven, right? Yes, because it's like baby rocks that it's about Why fade drive, right? It's about drive. It's about power. We feel hungry. Yeah for sure for sure I will Yeah, that you gotta start but wait for the inevitable full house reboot. Oh my god when they open their roll up for, you know Baby like what michelle pray it'd probably be a dinosaur Like yeah, like whatever when and then you come for that crown and let's see how cute your baby is

Let's see, right the the baby auditions for fullest house are going to be It's going to be the hunger games. I have quintuplets. They can each work 15 minutes Swap them out as needed. You know what we can go through them work work one They're like you can keep one It's so tight one. That's yours. We have a pa who runs in and swaps the baby out mid-scene Mid-scene no cuts. We have a we have one of these quintuplets We only use for lighting so we just the baby there so we don't have to get one of the really choice babies to stand out Yeah, we got a close-up baby. We got it. We got a back of the headshot baby. Don't worry. My name is Derek

I thought I was working with a Skyler today. Yeah, I'm Derek I'm I'm just running your lines with you. They're gonna shoot me from behind the back here It all looks I look just like beautiful Skyler. I mean for the two shots. Don't worry about it two shots stuff Hey, let's bang through this. Okay. It's martini o'clock. Let's see. We got a some adr here. Okay Oh, let me take that again. That didn't feel natural I'm a mo cap for my brother Derek Please ignore all the white balls glued to my face. It's hard for me to because I'm a baby and whatnot I'm just gonna swing at this tennis ball hanging in front of me pretend

It's I don't know a fun toy that a beautiful baby would get And I and I did eat one of the balls. Please call my mommy and my doctor Apologies to Robert Zemeckis that we have backed into Uh, baby herman from frame rudder rapid just back to her again Um, hey, can we go to the wizards house? Yes. Oh good. This one was sent in by Zach. Thank you Zach I want to knock first. Oh sure knock knock knock Well, the door just swung open and a and a bat flew out and the bat is the wizard And this is the wiki how it's how to blow a kiss how to blow a kiss

Just because it's Halloween. It doesn't mean we can't have a little valentine stay in here Don't you think I I think Halloween is like couples costumes and group costumes and friends Becoming lovers lovers becoming wolves Um blowing a kiss is a great way to show affection for someone in a lighthearted way I remember to lock eyes with the person while blowing them a kiss Always choose an appropriate time to blow kisses and avoid making this gesture to anyone who might not like it, which I will say statistically speaking is everyone

If you were to take the statistics of the human population, which I think is like eight Some billion right and then you take out of that number The number of people that it's okay for you to blow a kiss too. It is so statistically insignificant that it is zero for all Ticket of human interaction. They're just like once in a while once in a great while It might hit a little bit and that's probably because the person thought you were someone else that kind of looks like you I blew a kiss I blew a kiss to my baby today because he clocked me while I was taking Henry to school

And he was at the window and I gave him a little And then I thought like Was that right? Yeah, did I do that? What did he look like? What kind of look did he give back to you? He's I mean, he smiled. He loves he really is a big fan of me, but you look like oh dad That wasn't the time for that. Yeah, it was pretty fucking condescending actually now that I'm thinking about it Um, so anyway making the gesture. I'm hung up though on the uh lighthearted gesture

And now I'm wondering if there's like a way that one could dramatically Blow a kiss like either in a threatening way or like this means something kind You know like when you see in like mafia movies and they get that like kiss of death Could you do that with blowing a kiss or it's just like hey you Nah, I don't know. It's the black spot. What I think I don't think that gets it done I don't think this is a lighthearted if you take lighthearted at face value to mean like something that's just kind of like playful and a little little poof little poof of smoke A blowing a kiss is not that because I'm gonna be thinking about that all day if someone does that to me

But let's make sure we're doing it right, please Wait until you are a short distance away from the person Blowing a kiss is a nonverbal show of affection that works best when you're a short distance away from someone E.g across the room if you blow with someone a kiss at close proximity, it may seem odd and unnecessary That's true. Some cute cute some close quarters combat Like what's the farthest that's such a vague that's a great That's the next question is like I feel like I could 360 no scope my baby with uh Remote smoocher like yeah from from across like a crowded theater and I feel like

I think one end of an end zone to end zone of a football field clear line of sight Yes, I could I could get them the line of sight is important It can't be full of people right because then Unless I can stand up like on one of those bandstand that like, you know, uh, that the drum line leaders using stuff Like if I could get that I think I could get him it exists. You don't want it to hit someone else No, god. No, are you kidding me? Yeah in this economy This one's important A lot of guys with the person you're blowing a kiss to making direct eye contact with blowing a kiss

Let's the person know you're sending it to them Look at the person until they look back at you and smile when they meet your gaze Hold that eye contact while you blow them a kiss if they break eye contact before you make the gesture Wait until they look back at you to try again. That's a no in front of your mouth like yeah It's like uh, oh, so it's like, um It's like tipping at the deli Yeah, they have to wait until they see they're gotta wait till they're looking like hello. Here you go. Yeah um

I can't think of anything worse than Somebody leaving you hanging on a kiss blow That's gotta be a tough. That's gotta be a tough one that to just turn away in the middle like I'm like And they turn away in the middle of it and then it's like someone else sees me blowing a kiss to Nobody to a ghost what it's just like playing catch with someone without that eye contact You blow the kiss when they're not looking hits them right inside of the head. They're down I mean they're unconscious. I just had a freaking grand idea if you're listening to this show And you see us in the real world

Just blow us a sweet kiss. Wow, that's interesting if you blow us It's big big bold move and I clock it. No, it's not bold No, well, both of you include your two brothers. You didn't get a vote in this new idea Yeah, I feel like and this is one of those things that is like the secret on the show But for bad but for bad Like if there was a secret that was for bad that was like when you say it the bad thing is going to happen now It's like the it's like the I think that's what you've done. I mean that don't just start indiscriminately, but I'm like

I'm saying here's my consent to just like blowing me a kiss anytime you see me and I'll Here's Justin's consent. I'll know your whole story. Yeah, I'll get it And then just be like you'll be you'll be completely comfortable knowing that I've just like I caught it with my hand I smooched it on my cheek. Thank you so much. Now. Here's what I will say Justin from that gesture It's just occurred to me that there is not a I guess maybe a thumbs up But like blowing a kiss seems Intimate in a way of like kissing on the cheek would be yeah as opposed to like a high five Can we long distance high five as a thing to replace going to have us look at yourself do it again travis

Oh, yeah, no, I did it. No, I did it and I felt it. No, I'm not doing it again ever get in my life Half of a high five is bad bad. It's not bad. It's a bad historically speaking while you're driving No, historically speaking not great Not a great look half a high five. How do you guys receive a Kiss blow you catch it you put in your pocket I like to make my kids bust up because when they blow me a kiss, I'll grab it out of the air and I'll fucking eat it Oh, that's a good one. It's a sweet little candy. Yeah, it's like no, I get like I'm like a beast I'm like

Like I I it's filling me up good kiss your palm So they bring the palm to your hand to your mouth touch your palm like you with your lips I don't think that's right. It's fingertips It's a poem for me. That's this is where I got fucked up when I blew a kiss to gus today Is I I did it very very much on the fingertips. I rolled it off there I rolled it off. Oh now that's it. Oh griffin. I'm sure we'll get to this but when I hear those kids with the fingers I well, I don't blow. I'm sure there are people Who and what and like wafted off

If you don't send it on its merry way, yeah, how the kiss is supposed to get to them. I'm sending it I think you got some delicious I'm sending it right with my energy, but I'm not blowing Oh, that's interesting if you look at your kiss I know Justin I know Justin. I could feel it too The way you're doing your hand with flinging your kisses looks bad That's why I'm doing it backhanded now and yeah, maybe throw maybe throw him a grounder trap. You know what I mean?

Slider right I'll put it in a little envelope and I'll seal it and I'll put it in an imaginary and then they can open it And it's safe that way Uh position your hand after kissing your palm place your hand flat under your mouth We know this one. You got to have a stable firing platform But here's step five blow away the imaginary kiss this motion will signify you blowing the kiss so it's intended target Do this gesture slowly to create emphasis I think that's the thing that's most threatening because if I was close to that person, right and we have a relationship like

Basically or emotionally Both, you know, if it was someone where we had a relationship where we kiss each other on a regular basis I would feel comfortable kissing them What I would not do is kiss them and then blow against their lips to cement that kiss in there Like a kiss on the cheek. So like I'm sending the kiss You know that that's not like my kiss is like a butterfly it flies on its own me blowing on it It's just gonna fuck up a street that's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. You're crazy. Yeah, you're crazy. Your kiss can't fly on its own

Make sure my kiss is a fucking butterfly. I don't know about you guys lead balloon kisses. Sorry your kisses suck Be mindful about your cultural surroundings. This is good. I think in general. Hey all wiki. However Like you have one keep your grades upset Kisses a gesture that's well understood in north american culture, but not necessarily in others in brazil For instance the gesture of bringing your fingers to your mouth as you kiss them signifies the enjoyment of a meal And not a sign of affection this to me seems like That's still okay. Like yeah, if you're in brazil and you blow someone a kiss Someone will look at you and be like they must have eaten something very delicious lately

That's not so bad if it was like You wish that they're you know that their their whole family was sick or something like that like that's what this this is a cursing This is a cursing gesture And I think as we've established earlier on in the segment There's definitely some gestures you could make they are universally unpleasant Right that everyone's like there's no confusing that for anything else choose an appropriate time and place Yeah, I mean don't Blowing a kiss is

Is seen as a flirtatious gesture which can be problematic in the workplace. Yes In fact, I would say it can be problematic in a workplace Any workplace or people are any workplace you don't have to work at the workplace if you are at the workplace Then it's not good and you also the place. What's the name of the thing that connects all the workplaces Outside the world Don't do it there either because that one can also like somebody might be working your bike not to do it is Well, I mean unless I'm there which I've already consented to blow all the kisses you like Other than that just like not inside a workplace and not outside a workplace. Yeah other than that those two situations

I think There's two people I can think of that I feel comfortable doing this too and neither of them Are you guys or my wife? It's my friend's bob and brad berry. I think bob and brad berry. We could be like, hey buddy What's up? How's it going like and be very comfortable. It's cool just exchanging that like it's a cool thing That would be like a cool feeling very hip way to do it. I would not make a show of it I think there's something in the show like Right where it's just like you fucking but if you're just like, hey man

Stay classy or whatever. I think I could pull that off. I think I could do that. I do it to my little stinkers That's oh, yeah. Yep. I've started doing this thing and it like It makes me feel once again like a cool dad where like I'll make a Drugs, they're awesome. And I put my hat on back. What's what I talked to my kids about how great they are Hey kids, let's talk about drugs. Have you tried it? You got any know where I can get them where I will make a joke Like for my three-year-old like maybe for lunch

We should have a bowl of farts and dot last but I wink at bb as if to say like, you know We wouldn't really farts and she like looks at me and nonce and I'm like, yeah, man. We're cool I want to bring back the wink. Is that something that we can like reincorporate? No For sure not no either I thought we could but you know what you guys are right um And also the last tip here is make sure the person won't be uncomfortable which like well should have been

first of all the first tip also impossible also uh I would just air on the side of caution was just to say don't blow a kiss unless it's one of your little stinkers Uh, or to a dog or someone you have told I'm going to blow a kiss at you. Is that? Do you mind? Then that could be okay, right? I think you would have to you would have to phrase it like at some point I would like to try to blow a kiss at you. That's cool

And I'm totally fine if we do it and then you're like never do that again Are you willing to try this exchange at least once to see how we both feel? Let me I don't know that I I couldn't give blanket consent to yeah As we are introducing this into the sort of like social consciousness of our cultural surroundings We have an opportunity here to kind of like set the rules because we are on the cutting edge. We're pioneers Yes, so like at first order business for me. We've we've discussed technique, right? Like yeah to the fingers. You got to blow Um stable firing platform all that stuff. Yeah, absolutely big thing for me

Sound isn't necessary Is it is it creepier for me to go? Or is it creepier for me to go? I think silent is weird. Well, but see then we're getting into sign language is tapping that is thank you. Yeah, thank you Yeah, and I think it's an inch lower with the fingers and no sound Yeah, the only way to make it clear that what I'm saying is I'm kissing you and I'm blowing it at your face Is like okay, and then the receiving end of it. I think just a nod just like

Or a gentle touch of the cheek like a breeze. Well, no no no no no no no no because I don't know Because I wouldn't kiss you on the cheek. Do you know what I mean? Like I wouldn't kiss you on the cheek. I'm your brother No, I wouldn't kiss. I wouldn't kiss you harry boys on your harry cheeks. Oh, it's lovely It's like no, it's not it's not lovely. I'm not going to kiss you guys harry cheeks. Stop it Oh boy, stop it. So like I don't want to address I don't want it to be I don't want it to land on me Like I don't want to I don't want it to to land on me and me be the one that put it there Do you know what I mean? So just a

Look and like a cat like just curl your fingers at a knot Like I want something of like it's been received. Oh, that's cool That can be like a cool gesture of just like you sort of like uh, like you're david bowie with the the or Oh, yeah, I just like I've got the kiss now And you can kind of like play with it and roll it around your fingers like a coin Oh, yeah, do tricks with the kiss. That's good. Oh, I like that just a catch and a nod What are you justin's thinking about? I don't know man. David bowie No, I need to guess. So there's a contact juggling that's settled on boy kisses. That's all done

We've waited on that and I think it's time to treat ourselves with a quick trip to the my zone Can I tell you guys something messed up The whole time I was in the uk, I didn't receive one letter No one sent me any letters as I bounced from castle to castle Just cleansing them of every wrongdoing that's ever been done there. I didn't receive one Stinking letter from either of you. Were you sending them? No, you know, I I I was going to your house, but I actually don't have the time to go to the post office right now Oh, Justin

You that's the only place where steps are so Whoa, what sorry, what? Sorry. Sorry, Justin. It's a idiot is used they were you or they use over in the uk To me like somebody who doesn't know something you might not have heard it before And because you don't know about stamps.com, uh, which is this new invention Whether you can get stamps and postage and stuff through the internet. Have you heard about this? Okay, have you heard it? Did you hear about that? What did you hear about that wanker? Do you just take a picture of the stamps on the screen with your phone and then no, justin you bollocks head

You go The two big ones for them are idiot and bollocks head Yeah, chris brink chris sprain chris sprain, uh, swatted dick you go to stamps.com Right, it's the one-stop shop for all your shipping and mailing needs to get access to usps and ubs services You need to run your business right from your computer. No lines. No traffic. No hassle especially important During the upcoming holiday season Absolutely, uh, maybe you run a small business and you're shipping things out to people or maybe you're just like

Sending out a lot of christmas cards or gifts or whatever stamps.com can help you get that done Rates are constantly changing with stamps.com switch and save feature You can easily compare carriers and rates so you know, you're getting the best deal every time this holiday season trade late nights for silent nights We started with stamps.com today Sign up with promo code my brother all one word for a special offer that includes a four-week trial Plus free postage and a free digital scale no long-term commitments or contracts Just go to stamps.com click the microphone at the top of the page and enter code my brother all one word Brands like it when we have a little fun

With them, right? I hope so. So can we talk about trading late nights for silent nights with the stamps.com offer a completely silent way Of getting my shit from point a to point b I know they offer a quick and affordable and convenient way of doing it But I do not I am not convinced stamps.com that your service is going to make my evenings Any any quieter. Oh, uh, so griffin and actually it's buried deep in the contracts. We'll be careful. That's why it's important You read everything. Yeah, when you sign up with stamps.com

It does require at least one night a week. You watch a quiet place and act it out Oh, wow and not make any sound now I've never seen a quiet place except that I know that people are really quiet in it And I think Jim from the offices in there pulling faces constantly Uh, and you could also probably just get by watching the office on mute if that's what you wanted to do instead They don't have any way of checking up on you. That's what I found out You guys see a quiet place. What's it about? Uh, I have not seen that one yet. Um, yeah It's one of those movies where you have to pay the dead dead kid tax at the top of it in order to enjoy the rest of the film

Yeah, I wish there was a website just for that. There's one about whether that dog's died I really like that because they could really soil a film for me. Yeah, like I don't have a dog Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah for sure. You know what I do have. What do you have a fresh? Look All the time. Yeah, how do I do it? A lot of people ask me what's my secret? I'm a busy guy You know, what's my secret? I have the clothes sent to me. I don't go to the show the clothes come here You know when your clothes you put them on it fits just right and it's like this is for me. Yes I call that this is actually with the stitch fix feeling

You came up with that. That's good, dude. But that thank you you get clothes that fit you at a budget You're comfortable with styles you love you're working with a personal stylist that you give them your sizes Your taste your budget and they're going to send you a box of clothing items that are like this is for you You're gonna love these and you will you open it up you put it on like oh my gosh I love it if that doesn't qualify for the items rare fair you put them back in the bag You ship them back. No postage. No fees. No returns. No problem. No, can I tell you my my favorite thing, Justin? Oh, I love this happens from time to time where I'll get some from stitch fix and it's something I would not have picked out in a store. Yeah, but I put it on and I'm like, oh

This fits me perfectly and looks great on me. I never would have known This is my thing But my stylist has like geared it towards me and pushed that a little bit and I'm like, yeah This is a new style that I love my wardrobe needs have changed And so I dropped back on my stitch fix to like a like quarterly fix Which works for me and my schedule Uh, but also like I find that I've learned how to dress myself Because of stitch fix and the many many many clothes they have sent my way getting an adult in the room to say hey

Hey, this is what you should do. Yeah And that's also nice to have an adult there to teach you how like the buttons work because sometimes you're like I can't figure out is this a hook and eye situation. What are we doing? Yeah, and my stylist walks me through dressing myself when it's very lovely When you reach for something that you think will look good on you, but nobody else does Yeah, this fix is at the store when you don't have any help stitch fixes like the hand that reaches out and smacks your hands Is no That's not 40 you this isn't yeah, that's not yours

And it's the only rough part was when stitch fix kicked in the door to my house and took away all my cargo shorts And graphic tees with stewie griffin on them Uh, you said stuff in those in those cargo shorts and in the stewie t-shirts Yeah, because they have pockets and I kept all my bay blades in those and In the stewie griffin t-shirts Anyway, that's the only bad thing is they'll take your cargo pants right out of your Your house and also if you have any of the family guy guys It's over right now stitch fix is offering our listeners $20 off their first fix at stitch fix dot com slash my brother

That's stitch fix dot com slash my brother for $20 off today stitch fix dot com slash my brother I'm lisa hannah waltz and i'm emily heller wow emily we've been doing this podcast for 10 years I know but hey, don't worry you can jump in at literally any episode and hear us talk about some of our favorite stuff Caterpillars becoming butterflies Martha Stewart flying around in a private jet full of trees. Yes, you heard me right trees neighbors becoming enemies Just kidding Whatever messed up stuff we can find on wikipedia our impeccable taste in everything from dogs to tv shows to bodily functions And horses lots and lots of horses

Come for our horned up rants about the world stay for the catchy theme songs You might not learn anything, but we're a good hang baby geniuses every other week on maximum fun dot org Hi, i'm jesse for an america's radio sweetheart, and i'm jordan morris boy Detective our comedy podcast jordan jesse go just celebrated its 15th anniversary It was a couple months ago, but we forgot uh, yeah completely our silly show is 15 years old That makes it old enough to get its learners permanent and almost old enough to get the talk Wow, I hope you got the talk before then a lot of things have changed in 15 years Our show's not one of them. We're never changing and you can't make us

Jordan jesse go the same forever at maximum fun dot org or wherever you get your podcasts As promised I want to munch I want to munch Welcome to munch squatters podcast within a podcast profiling the latest in grand eating I am so excited to be back. Obviously things have been happening so fast Just In jake like yeah, oh

Pour one out super quick I don't want to do a story about this, but the McRib is guys on its farewell tour No, yeah, it's back for one brief moment And I and i'm like why now you know what i mean like why now and are you really going to get rid of it? Uh right now and then i do you guys ever wonder where it goes when it's not here I think about that all the time drab back to pigs. Um the pigs get them Peaches get to keep them keep the ribs Keep your ribs. We don't need them. Yes. These are yours. No. Oh, no the clown is here for our ribs. No

Do not not chill. He keep your ribs children Today, um nobody died. So I just wanted to tell you guys real quick what's happening out in the world Uh firehouse has released the prime rib steak sub That's where they go the five star flavor This five star flavor comes from being seared and then cooked to perfection via sous vide Oh my i know they use wait, isn't this a fast casual restaurant? Yes, they sous vide them and then let it sit Just kick it here for four hours while we're being sure they started before the customer gets there griffin I don't think it's sous vide to order

Yeah, that's fair. Um the now why sous vide? Well, let's check in this uh berthelon a michelin star train chef and a matré cuisinelle de france Who's been a pioneer in sous vide since 1989? chef gerrard Hello, is this chef gerrard berthelon? Uh, we uh, it's firehouse subs. You want to cook up a lot of these sloppy boys? Words or what? Oh, we absolutely He says water is the best medium to transfer heat because of how precise it allows you to be

By searing firehouse subs prime rib to capture flavor and then cooking it for 12 hours sous vide Guests receive an incredibly tender and flavorful piece of beef just as good as they would get in any steakhouse in the world Yeah, man drunk on his own Now I also say uh firehouse subs. I don't know how much you paid this man to say this I could have told you the same thing for like 50 bucks. I would have done it I've been sous vide eating for like six years now. I could have told you to say it's good. The water's good Yeah, it's pretty good. I I don't know I've been in the back room of plenty of fast casual restaurants enough to know that it's gonna be sort of a spooky thing to have back there

It's good. So just have like this specimen and floating in a fucking back to tank Just like waiting for you to just sear it and slice it up I I'm I think that that would give a sort of but it's halloween Yeah, it's halloween now see I thought you're gonna say a spooky thing because basically you have uh, just have a vat of scalding hot liquid sitting around For people who are maybe at best phoning it in. Yeah, I mean they're probably keeping that bad boy like what 129 130 tops I wouldn't want that on my on my it wouldn't feel good But it's not scalding so so that so that was the story that I noticed like

because I was thinking a lot about like meat and yeah, um, yeah So I noticed that one that state that that's steak and cheese sandwich that that uh, that they are doing the prime rib steak sub and then I noticed This is always in the same week. Roy roger says they're bringing back the steak and cheese sandwich Oh, wow steak and cheese

Features thin slices of beef steak with american cheese and grilled onions on a delicious six inch roll Yeah, um, we're roger's restaurants the western themed quick service restaurant chain based in frederick maryland is announcing the return of a highly anticipated limited time menu offering in Uh introducing a new side and launching its gift card promotion just in time for the holidays Yes, the holidays are here folks in the this time the festive season has been running in by the steak and cheese sandwich from roger roger's Quote the steak and cheese is always a fan favorite. We're happy to bring it back for our royalists You know customer. That's the senior director. That feels like that's something else That feels like that word means something else

That means it's people that love roger roger's We know customers will love the addition of our new mozzarella sticks and marinara dipping sauce as well They pair great as a side or as a snack on the go We I got a lot of errands to run today. Give me some monster If you're a fast casual restaurant and you announce something that has existed for 500 years I think it should just be I think the press statement should just be like one to two sentences Hey guys, it's us roger roger's. We do mozzarella sticks now You probably thought we already did come have them. Yeah, we get that it seems like something we would have done before now

I like the the they just casually threw in their uh scenario. They would imagine like Uh one last present took behind the tree. Let's see what it is. Oh, oh roger roger's gift card Thanks, son of a dad. Ah, you're welcome, son So this is the second press release. This is how this one closes This is the perfect time of year for food that provides comfort and reminds us of home These seasonal Limited time offerings do just that and are delicious additions to the menu Royalists can now give the gift of high quality burgers beef and chicken with our holiday gift card promotion

The perfect gift or stocking stuff for this holiday season Okay, so we really are and then I then I I just drive on over by quiz knows Press release out no way Quiz knows prime rib sub makes their long awaited a turn return announced the same week as these other stories Is it okay? Is this all connected to the McRib retirement? This is what I don't I can't figure out Is it they are they are searching this is guys. This is house of the dragon. I haven't seen it But I think this is what it is where they're searching. They're vying Politicking to discover the heir apparent to the McRib kingdom and I

This is thrilling for me. This is super exciting Three years after its last appearance the popular prime rib subs are back For guests to indulge in the comforting and satisfying flavors of slow roasted prime rib as the holiday season draws near Are you kidding me? So this is both of you all trying to be like the perfect holiday food A messy cheesesteak sandwich. Okay, so this I looked it up right because it stuck in my mind A prime rib is like a thing that for like many is like a traditional Christmas dinner thing, right? But this isn't that is right. This is a steak hokey

Not that it may be bursting with with flavor and dry rub with black pepper garlic and salt Don't brag about putting salt on it. Yeah Three of the most basic things you could put on something salt pepper and garlic Listing salt is an admission that you didn't put any other flavors on it, right? You would have said anything other than salt and get this we cooked it Yeah, it's like, oh cool and craig craig. It's got a creamy horseradish sauce The prime Italian is made with slow roasted prime rib provolone cheese

sauteed onions g rd Uh G rd nera g rd garlic. It's the pepper. It's like the yeah, the pepper whole g money green peppers and mariza for many The holidays, this is a quote that is in a different Press release than the last one For many the holiday season is an ideal time to cozy up with indulgent foods and get together with family

Surrounding themselves with comfort and familiarity Says mike geisman vice president of culinary innovation We invite our guests to experience those same feelings at quiz when they when they walk travis. That's the next No experience those same feelings when they walk into a quiz nose Yeah, you experience the feeling of being home when you walk into a quiz nose That's not good. That's bad. No something. I feel comforted and surrounded by family at this quiz nose If you work at the quiz nose and it's like these are my people like this is my family. That's fine I would say though even then even that's not great

It's a found you found families are huge with us and maybe your family is at quiz nose. That's fantastic I'm saying if you eat a sandwich, you know, like i'm home like that's probably less than great But i'm saying you're going more quiz nos across the country are closing and you're like you're like uh chasing your home My yeah my home is my home in huntington on fourth avenue My home is now a place where people go to drink wine and paint things That's in my house and your house and they didn't even ask you They are there. What is it paintings paintings sip? Maybe I don't know some some reputation of that Uh, I just I can't I I guess it's true

What they say that the supply chain is really just dictating all this stuff like it's clearly somebody backed up too many Too many we've got a lot of rims got a lot of beams Everyone's got some thin slices of shit Teens are for christmas Telemates of christmas the light My monies on quiz nose I think it would be fun if roy rogers won like if roy rogers became the big the big one just because like in the Why does in the in the yeah in the rib crisis of 2022 2023 because let's be honest

It's gonna we're not gonna whip this thing in the next two months. No, no, no Um, how about you another question? Yeah Yeah, hi brothers. I'm faced with the moral quandary because you've come to the right place Our school is holding elections for student council The two of my friends are running I've already voted for them But this morning on the quad There was a guy who was campaigning by handing out mini gourds from a massive burlap sack to people who promised a vote for him The gourds are really cute and I want to have one. Is it morally right to lie to this poor man?

Just for a free calabash squash And that's from squash squanderer in new york Can I just say it feels like a long way to go to get a vote When you could just like buy a bag of like mixed mini chocolate bars Especially now. Yeah during a halloween season. Just hand those out, man. You know people love candy You know what it costs like five? Where are you getting so many gourds that you can hand them out as a favor seems like a huge expense You know, I'm in I'm in politics country now. Yeah, where it all where it all happens. Yeah

And I will say that a lot of like a surprising amount of stuff here Is like a lot of the pro the political processes are lubricated with like fun-sized mr. Goodbars. Yeah, man crackles um Hershey's with the almond That's it that greases a lot of the wheels because they can't get enough of this stuff Well in the secret is you do a special dark and a good bar at the same time. Oh fuck off. That's yeah, we're talking This is a this is a crime. What this person is doing is a crime. That's all right Just it Justin's been like toby zigglering around for a while now and he thinks he's mr. Politics and ethics

If I can pay people for votes Yeah Enough said, okay. Listen if it was legal, you can't do this. It's a crime now that being to hand out gourds You don't want to be You don't want to be mixed up in this endeavor. You can't pay people for votes that said If they got a delicata over there Let me let me come by I can't get I don't have a trader ricks A trader. No, that's the yeah, that's werewolves in london the trader

Sam's nope You'll get there trader joes. I don't have a trader joes around here. I don't have a jungle gyms You know what I mean? Like I gotta get my delicata when people go out of town. They're like can I get you a souvenir? Yeah, bring me back some delicata squash from this one. Do you need the rind? Thank you But Justin, I'm sorry every night. Oh, yeah Up into oh constantly man at this point I'm more delicata squash than I am man But here's the question. Justin in your mind Hanging someone a tiny decorative seasonal gourd is paying them for votes

Yeah, yeah Yes In what world can you use a tiny decorative gourd as currency? And please point me in the direction of that world because I'm a very rich man Pumpkin town Good point. Yeah, I didn't think about that. Yeah, that's you can't you don't want to get mixed up in this business This is hard stuff. I'll say but it sounds like to me you have two friends running for student council

Competing it sounds like against each other. They said they already voted for them. So I well fraud clearly They might be different positions Oh, that's another good point. Yeah, maybe it's not fraud But you but regardless you can feign ignorance and be like, sorry I thought you guys were competing against each other and I could not choose and I got this cutie little gourd this sweet little The squash outside and I told the guy I vote for him because I couldn't pick between you two It's not fair. So I voted I voted I voted third party for this one. I'll tell you what guys here's the beautiful thing I don't know if you guys know this you can tell anybody you're voting for anything

They can't check Thank you You can be like I'll definitely vote for you and unless that guy loses by like one vote And then breaks into like the student council offices or whatever it goes through Each thing is like wait a minute. It was taunt. Taunt took one of my gourds and they didn't vote for me I'm going to ruin Todd's life Maybe maybe that might happen in my new YA novel that I'm working on. Please don't copy this concept I've said it out loud everybody forget what I said forget what I said. This is mine

It is kevin costner swing vote and that's fun that you reinvented that film. This time for my mind gourd to death Yeah, so yeah, thank you That's really out of bloom house. That's good stuff Um speaking of like the poll the politics thing Uh, did you all did you all see that? I'm so delighted. Did you guys see the attack ad that hell? Yeah, I did dude griffin. Did you see it? Oh, yeah, I saw the attack ad I got sent it. Do you realize that someone made a lot of good points? They made a lot of good points

Um, I don't want to talk too much about it, but I do want to say There's the front of it is just this picture gas prices with joe biden like good gas prices and city's like I love it It's like I had no idea. I've known sydney now for decades. I had no idea. She had sus influence over the national gas Is here is no idea Here's what I wanted to say though is that this mailer does include The phrase that is on a political mailer in the world the biden slash macaroy agenda The biden macaroy is really really really really strong That's not something we made up for this show

That was like the biden macaroy agenda very very good The only way that that makes sense is if it's like the biden slash macaroy agenda and then underneath it in bull points is Leaving a ticket. I will call at every live show they've ever done in washington dc for joe biden hoping he'll show up That's the only macaroy slash biden agenda. I know of that exists on this planet Yeah, I do you know how bad you have to be at your job? To not be because of who sydney is married to To not be able to cook up a very very Very very very bad mailer

The possibilities are There's so much we love sydney. You love sydney everybody loves sydney this clown this absolute To jitter it that she is you see this guy in the pumpkin suit who said he just came from a wedding He's like right there with her. Do you see this man in a chili suit? Who's in a pumpkin suit who's got chili all over his hands and face that's in the last week We're not even getting like scrolling out of his google calendar page to find these embarrassing things That's a choice sydney made once. Oh, why like I was stuck with

Every other choice has been great, but she did this one time choose this guy. Are you sure are you sure? There's got to be something fun and mentally fun Oh gosh politics is fun. We have a lot of fun. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast I really really really miss doing it and I really really really miss talking to you guys you both you too and the the listeners Uh, I really miss doing this. So it's so nice to be Be back be back here with you and I hope that we're going to be seeing some of you in person very soon Exactly. I will also say uh, mine and joseph's birthday is coming up soon Uh, and it's a birthday present for me if you are in some place where you can vote for sydney

Do that that would be a great birthday present for me Uh, hey, you're welcome. Now. Can you pick up on my uh, let me do my my fun segue again I okay. Yeah and griffin if you want to interrupt with any plugs for my wife's candidacy. I listen that's that's all fair Yes, let that tee that tee that up again Okay, uh, and then I hope we see some of you in person soon Uh, uh here in the next week week away. Well, yeah very soon and I vote for sydney Okay, so we're gonna be in Yeah, and dc and detroit

That's not in that order though. Not in that order travis. I'm begging you if you could just yeah I don't we're gonna be in cincinnati doing my brother my brother and me uh on uh in november 10th if I remember correctly Yeah, that's the 10th. We're gonna be up in cincinnati doing my bambam then in the 11th We're gonna be at the masonic in detroit doing the bambam. Yeah, and then on the 12th We're gonna be here in the district In the dmv as we say in the dmv at the dar Constitution hall doing my bambam and then the next night we're coming back for taz at dc d8 r dmv Baby, let's go with brennan lee mulligan

DMing dadlands too Y'all I could not be more excited for that fucking live show come out to it If you live within driving distance of this show, I guarantee you it's going to be a gosh dang barn burner The last one was a who it's out now. I did a thing with role 20 con Playing with with brennan and a bunch of other folks including abria. Uh, and it was great But when I was there I was talking to brennan about the show and I was like, yeah I'm thinking, you know, maybe new characters and the look I was like, you guys are gonna be the same characters But I love those characters the boys. Yeah, I had forgotten that he remembered until he said you're not gonna be guy ferrari again

I was like, but that's good. Yeah, I'll be guy ferrari. Yeah, man. It's gonna be great Speaking of abria, we've rescheduled our shows for san jose and denver. They have been postponed But now they will be april 27th in san jose california adventure zone with abria who uh Taste of that when we did spirit breakers for halloween abria is an absolute joy and brings out the best in us I would say uh april 28th We're gonna do a my brother my brother in me in san jose and then april 29th We're gonna be doing my brother my brother in me in denver all existing tickets will be honored for the new dates If you can't attend the rescheduled dates you can request a refund at the point of purchase

And if you don't have tickets but want to go now, uh that we have new dates tickets are on sale now Mask and proof of full vaccination or negative covid test within 72 hours of event start is required Uh, so it's a new month. So there'll be new merch. Go check that out macroemerge.com a lot of cool stuff there And don't forget to pre-order the taz 11th hour. Uh, it comes out officially february 21st 2023 But you can pre-order it now at the adventuresomecomic.com and I just wanted to say one more thing about that detroit live show um That is going to be on november 11th, which as you all know is the 14th anniversary of the release of star wars

the clone wars like I feel like a themed Star wars episode only makes sense to celebrate only makes sense that release And we can say that because they pay us no matter if people come or not Like we obviously prefer if people come but if nobody shows up then we can kind of like griffin's griffin's right But only in this very limited scope. We're like that trick works once Right. Yeah, and then they don't do any more after that. So please we will not be doing. I guarantee you We won't be doing a star wars show. I won't mention star wars up there

But it'll be in jesson's mind. You can feel it. You'll feel it. You'll be in full cosplay. Hey, yeah, thanks What if holy shit? What if we were in full cosplay but did not mention it? Okay, that's anyway Thanks to montane also for the use of our theme song my life is better with you Stream that album making it buy it get it get the merch support That support all art, but especially montane's arcs. It's very good. That's it for it. That's it for the show Thank you so much for listening. Uh, griffin can you inspire us for like any quotes that you want to like? Um, you're looking very thoughtful. Don't give up Unless

Don't give up unless it's unless no I Keep on pushing. Oh, what's the thing that the guy that one of presidents said or he's like if you're going through hell, don't stop If you're going through hell, don't stop I think it's benjamin franklinus said if you're going through hell, don't stop I'm travis macaroy I'm griffin macaroy. This has been my brother my brother me kiss your dad square on the lips Oh

It's better It's better it's better with you It's better it's better with you This is true It's better it's better with two My life Oh It's better with you

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