My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 638: Great?! Expectations

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

Are you being totally PWNED on the video game airwaves and need some tips for turning the tables? Well then this is the episode for you! We've got topics for n00bs, like shelf elves, feet movies, and underappreciated highschool drama teachers.Suggested talking points: Big Adult Energy, 2 Hodgemans Removed, Santa Faith Hard Mode, Don’t be Agnoxious, Car Dates with BabesHarmony House: http://harmonyhouse.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up you cool, baby? Precious friendship Could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better

It's better it's better It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me an advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. Well me. I'm your middlest brother Travis McElroy, and I'm your sweet baby brother I'm a grown-up man, and I'm Griffin McElroy. Now. Why did you feel the need to specify that you're a grown man? I just feel like it's sort of my thing this year and as I step into 2023 stepping into my adult power It's it is intro any time I post a picture of us when we were younger Yeah, we'll talk about how different I look and and how much more mature Justin looks and people are like that Griffin

Didn't even age and I'm like guys. He had look at the bags around his eyes When they released a video for Montaigne did the video for With you, and we're all in it I don't read the comments on stuff, but that was somebody else's video So I read the comments because I was curious and the one that read that stuck with me really bad is like they all look so old You look old I love me picture you look at me right now I don't know how my face has done this it does look like I've died my like Van Dyke around my face

But my cheeks are completely gray and it's just like yeah, I look all this shit I don't know what's happening people are like you look more and more like your dad I'm like yeah, my dad's old and I come from Because that's how time works. I love When people use us as a yardstick for how old they must be getting oh, yeah Whoa if the macro is at this old I must be old and I was like that's a valuable service I can provide to you guys but BuzzFeed has made a cottage industry of that by showing you what beans From even Steven's looks like today

Let me save you a few hundred clicks. It looks like an adult B Yeah, it's all beans grown adult beans a big adult energy this weekend boys. I went and saw the glass onion And listen, I don't want to talk about that because there's so many spoilers, but it's very good If you why did you fucking mention it then because if it's if you like the first one see it I In there was 22 minutes of trailers and within those trailers boys. There's a trailer for a movie and Got me pumps now don't look up. Don't look up anything about this movie. Okay, I will tell you tell me so This is a Gerard Butler vehicle. Okay, and he is a commercial some bad-ass flicks

We're like he has to get out of prison and kill the president he punches so many things in movies even when he's not supposed to and He is a commercial airline pilot and they're about to take off and then some police show up and they're like hey We we're gonna do a prisoner extradition on your airplane Which I don't I didn't know that was a surprise thing that you could drop on something like oh by the way Yeah, and he's like what I'm not wild about that and like too bad draw our butler's not up to you And he's like what's this dude steal and he's like ah he murdered somebody 15 years ago or whatever and he's like, okay So then they fly through an electrical storm

Yeah, and they end up crash landing in scary jungle part of a country and oh no like a cartel shows up or whatever And takes all the passengers hostage, okay And then it's up to Gerard Butler and the escaped convict guy the two of them have to work together to rescue everybody This sounds fucking cool. They play by their own rules. Yeah, and the name of the movie is plane That's great, I like it right. Yeah, I like it's like if they may is that what you've described like die-hard And then it's like this movie is called feet. Yeah, these movies building This one's called Bruce. I'm I'm so excited about this is a new naming convention Cuz I think we've had it before you know something you're like gladiator

I mean my man my man M. Night Shyamalan I would say crush the movie titling game with his I believe his most recent feature film which was just called old Yeah, and in this one and that's I guess kind of to tie it back into the intro of the podcast Welcome to M. Night Shyamalan's old to But it's slower this time. Yeah, it's slow. We age one day for every day Yeah, so instead of a child walk on a beach turn to a grandpa It's like a 22 year old becomes a 35 year old over the course of 12 years I just remember when I worked at a movie theater

I remember watching people come up and these people still to this day befuddled me people who come to the theater and then Stand before the posters and pick out which movie they're going to watch at that moment And I remember people walking up to you the Ewan McGregor film the island and Deciding impulsively knowing nothing about this film. Yeah, that's what they were in the mood to watch that day like his face Oh, yeah, okay, can you escape sounds good? Let's do it and now I think if we can enter into an age of singular non Specific nouns. Yeah, it's just like what what's this movie's whole deal. It's mostly about a plane. Yeah, okay. I like planes We could see plane or we could say boat or elevator which one you want to watch or old or old feet for feet

Oh feet for four with Justin long gotta get there for feet for long feet long feet Justin long feet. They thought they could break me. They didn't know I was long feet Many ties the bandana around his head. Yeah, sure. That's a short film. Cool. I saw Justin long one time Yeah, I did too and we were at that thing We were at the entertainment weekly thing and man, I wanted to go say hi to Justin long so bad Yeah, my connection to just along is so tenuous. It is like it's too hot It's too Hodgman's removed. It's like Hodgman. I know current Hodgman and Hodgman of today new PC Hodgman and if you knew that Hodgman

Did text in the moment I texted Hodgman I said we're in the same room as Justin long and Justin wants to go introduce himself based slowly on the fact that they're both named Justin and he wrote back. He should do it Or for all you know, that's Justin long favorite thing in the world is to meet other He's never met another one. Oh, yeah, like he knows about Bieber, but they're fan never met him Yeah, and if you're wondering why I'm not better connected or more successful I think you have a pretty succinct wrap-up in that little anecdote I'm just saying if Travis Barker was at the same place. I was oh would you now Travis? No, maybe Travis Mastrana

We have no way of knowing which Travis's but those are the only three or the band Travis Justin take us to another segment We're just I was camping to I was trying to look we were Recording late, so I'm trying to find oh there he is. Thanks, Travis. Thanks for these questions, buddy. Hey, you're welcome Travis actually writes all the questions We don't we haven't gotten an email in our inbox in like two and a half years probably because we don't mention it anymore The hardest part is thinking of different cities and stuff that people can be from yeah There's only so many cities and if you use one twice people are gonna be on to the yeah the grift Before we ask a question. Yeah, and I do want to do this. Yeah, the question. Yeah, of course

Can I can we talk about the elf on the shelf for a second? Yeah, is that like a way of saying like the elephant in the room? No, no that would be that TMTMT Can I say that we did a face or a face time so our kids could play Pokemon together over the weekend Which was delightful and Henry had never seen elf on the shelf before and when Charlie showed it to him She was like yeah, he's pretty creepy. So like who's it for Justin? Yeah, BB asked me if we could do over on the shelf this year And I said no the elf on the shelf is just designed to horrify you into being good

She goes but Charlie has one. I was like, well, I can't speak to Justin's mind I don't know how it happened I think Mary got one first and kids loved it So then we got one the elf on the shelf if you don't know the elf on the shelf is a toy that you buy and you put him up on They got all kinds of different ones him or her What culture am I right? Okay, so you hide the elf on the shelf and The elf watches the kids and then reports back to Santa every night. Yeah, if the kids touch the elf

This is so important if the kids touch the elf it loses its magic and dies dies I mean it goes from being a magical fairytale creature that can teleport all over your house and report on you to the government definitely Yeah, or a lifeless a Corpse, I mean, it is what it is Story they die all the time. Yeah, or like humans are around. Yeah, sure Justin would you say that Elf on the shelf is the most commercially successful haunted doll on the market today? Wow, that's wow

That's that's huge actually. That's huge for a brand But it's and also the other key thing about it is after reports back to Santa it returns to a different spot in your house homework as a parent right or Guardian you now are the one and you have or home intruder or home intruder. Thank you Just I know the kids can't touch this. Let me just zoop. It's it's hard enough to Keep the whole Santa thing going. Yeah, and that's like very ephemeral, right? Yeah, it's like, you know Santa everybody Has a difference in this is like concrete Evidence proof of life. Yeah, this is magic. That's happening every day

And if you forget that what I'm saying is I don't know why we had to increase the difficulty of Santa faith Yeah, with this like hard Concrete like complex mythology because if the bottom falls out from the elf What's not a long walk to be like, okay? So the Santa thing. Yeah, tooth fair all of that stuff, right? Is is I don't understand why I had to be that way yesterday the elf of the shelf I had it hanging off a light fixture and then right in front of the kids You can't see Justin. It's so important to note. He's hanging by his hands. He's important to know He's hanging by his hand velcro on his hand. I put velcro on this thing's hands

I can make it into all kinds of wild stuff. Yeah So you love so you do you're complaining for the bit, but you love it, right when I remember it It's good when I don't remember when it's 5 30 in the morning. I sit up and like fuck Then it's bad. You just throw him in the washing machine today. I jammed him behind the air fryer took the kids 15 minutes But yesterday just all fucking falls right in front of the kids onto the ground So now I'm looking at it like well, fuck me. They're like you can't touch it like I know I can't touch it And then the cat instantly is like hell. Yeah, I want to fuck you up for years. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is my day I'm gonna judge for a day, but it's coming the cat's like about to pounce

and I'm like I think Get some I start looking for rubber gloves because I feel like I could maybe sell that yeah But then Charlie's like get the tongs like okay tongs. That's that's even better So I get tongs and I pick up this Like a like a bird that has been dragged into the house. Yep Face down a serving tray up on top of the fridge and it's just lie there like we'll let her rest It's fine. I'm sure she'll get her magic back. I'm sure the tongs were okay Last night as I mentioned we forgot to move the elf because it was very out of sight out of mind

It was lying on top of a serving tray and Sydney's like Text me why I'm just out of the shower. She's like quick. I've got Charlie distracted. You've got to move the elf like, okay Okay, so I run and then I had this really brief moment where I was like I don't know what we're teaching our kids with the elf But this could be A teachable moment. Yeah gets me having to do the elf forever, so it's basically just like That's a tough break kids

But that's what life is like sometimes Right like that's like that sometimes So what did you do? He air fried it. I stuffed it behind the air I mean, I stuffed it on the air fryer didn't use the tongs use my bare hands. Well, you broke the magic Could you not have sold like the elf spirit is still in there? but If we scale the thing out he had she had like an eight story fall. Yeah

Under her under her. She has a long road to recovery ahead of her. She's gonna be laid up on the fridge For a while, which honestly kids is a bad behavior pass for you for as long as they are You can't report. Well, look, there's an animated series. It's absolute horseshit. It's like a 22 minute movie of garbage Yeah, and this this one kid's like, I don't believe in this idiot. He knocks it off a shelf and they do In Even increase the mythology to now where he has to be flown by other elves back to the north pole and get bed rest To get resuscitated. Wow. It's it's so heinous We got that dog because I think somebody some family member sent us the dog

Elf on a shelf has a dog too And it's a st. Bernard with a little keg around its neck, but the keg Contains christmas cheer sure and it out on christmas eve A beam of light shoots out of the dog's keg that has a heart on it and that goes to the north pole to make like Christmas happen christmas would die christmas would fade from the earth if if we stop believing in it Uh, which is cool because then on christmas eve my son stays up to watch his stuffed animal dog that comes with the book and it's like A beam hasn't come out yet. I'm pretty worried that christmas is not gonna come this year and it's like

Man, what's the game unless you have some sort of beam fight laser technology that you can put inside of your dog dolls Maybe don't maybe don't build that into the mythos dad tried to think about how much hanukkah could get to shine that year Oh, wow, this is didn't come hanukkah would be in your house. It could finally get center state Dad tried to introduce elf elf on a shelf into our home by getting my kids each one bingles themed Oh, we got one of the holy shit. We got one of these two Yeah, and all the good thing is like it's already a complicated enough mythos without introducing and also they love football They love one team my preference mine the one that uh dad sent us

Ended up being the elf on the shelf in isle five of goodwill because that's where he went because no, thank you dad I don't want to have to explain that. Nope. No, thank you. I'm just saying I really pray that There is no magic in the dolls because I never remove them from what must now be their coffins Except for me if the doll is alive. I've done the most kick-ass job ever hiding it from my child Uh, he he'll never see it. That's some other family's problem. Okay. Uh, uh, we're not gonna do They can touch him all he wants. I stuck a note on him that says this is my cross to bear you touch this guy Go nuts. I said I just discovered a large spider web in my hotel room It's too high to reach it by jumping and also I don't like killing spiders

Would it be crossing some social boundary to ask the front desk to send someone to kill it for me? I'm staying here for a whole month and I think it's moving closer help brothers big bad bug in blithe Listen, I don't know how spiders run in blithe Yeah, they do they make a fun sound like that you shouldn't kill Spiders is what I'm supposed to say Whoa But there's they are they can be poisonous and very very scary and we are So much bigger than they are

Um, if it seems like if you would goosh it that stuff would come out That's my usual boundary for okay. You are big enough to deserve Some sort of primal primal dignity and I will I will usher you outside in a solo cup Um, but if they don't goosh out when they explode, is that even really alive? Does it have feelings griffin? I've both seen and read charlotte's web. They've got feelings Well, but charlotte is big enough charlotte's big enough that if you squished her stuff would come out So, yes, that is uh, that's yeah, that's a living creature right there and we have to respect that Look, can I can I ask you guys a judgment call? Yeah, which which of these you think is more acceptable?

Calling the front desk and asking them to send someone up Going down to the front desk and saying like hey, there's a spider in my room if someone could go take care of that Neither one of those is great I think yeah The best case scenario and the one that sort of gets you off scott free is you call the front desk and say hello It's me again. I've no I've called about a lot of bugs today, but This one's this one's a dooser. I have a spider in my room And that is scary to me. What happens next? I'm your customer

You tell me I'm scared of the spider in my room. Yes Whatever maybe you do something about it. Maybe you don't but I'm a active I'm over here on yelp. I am yelp ready to always ready to open your shit Okay, I think it it can't be the sole focus of the call Like if you said like oh, could I get an extra pillow and a couple of towels and uh while they're in here Um, there's a big scary spider in my just if they have time if they have time Just get it on a magazine And chuck it in the hallway. I don't kill spiders. Yeah kill a spider

No, any one of them could create spider-man and I don't want to take that away from the world May I you don't kill spiders. It's bad luck. I don't extend this courtesy to all living things obviously If I see a stink bug in my house, which I do every year for a couple months the same one No, oh, no, I'd certainly not because I'll smush those Dead that makes the stink that makes the stink come out. Justin. I love the stink. That means one less stink bug I hate these guys The worst thing about the stink bug is the stink they make you make the stink come out and you're like, ah now We can't stink. I'm actually I'm with Justin on this one. The worst part of the stink bud is their presence

Yeah, it's the being on a bug in the house now Normally, I'll try to chuck them outside because the kids don't like it But if I see one of the kids aren't around they're big tough guardians. I will send them to hell I won't do that for a spider spider. That's it's part of the fun of spiders Yeah, you got to get it on a napkin or a paper towel or something and got to get it outside before it get on your hand If this helps you There's five or six other spiders in your room. Yeah guaranteed not just one if this makes you feel any better And probably shouldn't there are probably six or seven or eight or nine or a dozen spiders in your room for sure

That's that's just the life that you live the spider. You can see That's a good one. Yeah good. I got tabs on that one Don't worry about that spider. He's out there. He's like, are we is this okay? Yeah, I'm here. I know you can see me This is fine, right? That's polite. That's polite the other spiders other nasty dogs. Yeah, they're everywhere They're underneath your bed. They're everywhere, but the Uh, the spider you can't see don't you don't need to kill him. He's going about his business. He's providing a service as well Listen, I don't like them Famously, I do not care for spiders. However, we need them. They're good. Yeah good spiders

They kill the cheetah just move rooms. That's the spider's room. You walked in somebody who's already in that room And it's a spider. You're in the wrong room. Yeah, it's a spider. The spider has to admit I wouldn't I wouldn't call somebody because they're not they might not handle it ethically Yeah, they might kill they would probably kill the spider They're probably not going to go through the work of scooping up the spider and then walking it to the elevator No, that will They want to apologize to the spider and say, I know you were here first. I'm sorry about this Uh, I gotta hope for the best you can hope for is that they have one of those old-timey male shoots

Yeah, yeah, yeah Have an incredible adventure. Jason Schwartzman voiced spider have a wonderful adventure. Oh, he would do so good Looks like I've got mail Um, then Dunstan just picks him up and fucking eats him And then the babies day out eats. What a perfect. What a perfect film What an amazing and so culturally relevant it's not it's not but it's like what if a monkey got loose in a hotel mail room like Yeah writes itself, baby. Sure. Yeah, and also jason alexander's down. He's befuddled. He's he could not be more confused Hey, can we go to the wizard? Yeah, I love that. I wish we would let's close. Let's bow our heads in prayer

This uh was sent in by shavon. Thank you shavon It's uh, it is uh written by a bunch of authors. It seems like wow This one only has the 39 percent out of 100 percent of goodness So this may not raise some of the wizards best work 38 co-authors few too many cooks in the kitchen on how to trash talk on xbox live I suppose this would work For playstation live nintendo live

No, sony cronies respond to things differently. Oh, is that true? Yeah built different. Yeah built different Yeah, they probably don't call themselves sony cronies where they talk about how cool. No, we do Oh, okay. You've you've taken that they prefer sony bronies. Yeah Well, it depends on if we're into the friendship. It was magic universe or not Yeah, yeah, this is gonna flay the flesh off our bones being good at a game is a sure way to own mad noobs Yep, but if you didn't do so good or you just like to argue then trash talking can make the match funnier Well step. I don't know about funnier step. Well step zero

Keep your grades up. Keep your grades up if your grades go too bad Your parents will cancel your xbox live count and then you can kiss master chief on his helmet mouth. Goodbye He's never coming back Justin, did you Put glasses on I was looking at another window in chrome and then when I look back you had glasses on Oh, I think I've always been there. I think I've always had glasses No, these are my blue blockers are starting to feel a little bit of ice train set in I'm okay old I'm starting to feel a little bit of like co-opting

The glasses yeah, man and the and the Beer brand you know that for a while I was the glasses one and Travis was the beards one and you were the nothing You had nothing you were the nothing you consumed all of never ending story But now you have both of them. So now it's glasses beards guy glasses beards guy glasses Not scruff scrub the bad guy is you for not having a beard having a beard having a beard Okay, well it looks weird and bad when I do it. So I guess I didn't get those jeans, but

Anyway, just something to think about step one be brave Who cares that you came in last place? Yeah, trash talking after owning everyone in the room gives you a clear advantage But so what brag about your kill death ratio or point out someone for camping the whole time cool. Yeah, there you go Go work you fucking scrub kill death ratio and it's not you're not allowed. Yeah, you're not allowed to spell the whole thing out Nice. We're capturing the flag you fucking idiots. Yeah, you died a hundred times you lost 15 points like yeah, I know but you but You died you died a couple times too idiot

In the history of video games the best trash talking comes from a place of whining Right of like well my controller is glitched. You were using the turbo button Uh, I said no odd job that kind of thing. My parents were yelling like so loud So I couldn't hear the sound of the gun Going bang bang bang The ratatouille that was piloting me wasn't very good at this match. Yeah A lot of things I think this article also submits in that most good online trash talking comes from a place of real courage be brave cares

Don't don't be too loud Just because you want to tell someone how much they suck doesn't mean you have to hog the sound waves Let that's a really powerful term for people in our profession. Did this yeah wrote this There's only so many sound waves that the human ear Can detect at any time. That's the secret of like music mixing mastering production all that stuff So you don't want to use too many of them just by being like you died twice And then making that long sustained sort of you ever wonder why we stopped at eight track. That's it That's all the tracks we got

I would go one step further and say if you really want to fuck with someone trash talking asmr I think that would really I just want to let you know that uh You're kind of a fucking I'm just gonna squirm on your face and squat and squat and squat and squat and uh, I Fucked your dad

And this is I don't think he's ever watched an asmr video. He thinks it's jimmy stewart Oh I'm gonna cut your head or on male side. That's the worst master chief is my best friend that was That was among the worst jimmy stewart impressions that have been done Uh, don't hog the sound waves let other people make their lame comeback so you can spike it at them showing your true Ownage. Yeah, man. Yeah, fuck. Yeah point out someone if someone sat around and camp the whole time say something Most people other people most likely other people are going to back you up if they were really doing something wrong So this is an interesting form of trash talk

Trying to like hey, I know you're tempted to trash talk me, but let's talk about dylan Yeah, and you're a scrub and an idiot and I fucked your dad But i'm gonna take a sort of moral position here mom And say that say that charthor was kicking it behind his bush this whole time He stayed in one place for like big portions of the game. It's captured the flag Yeah, but he was I don't know what you mean. Well, he was just in the zones He had to capture the zones and then defend the zones. Yeah, but he wasn't like running around like I was you died 700 times so

Do it for the laughs You could you could invent other jobs that you were doing while they were doing the fighting because the military is not just the shooting people That's interesting. You could be like I had kp. I had potatoes I didn't help you today. I was my kp ratio is off the charts If if the commercials for army and navy and marines recruitment have taught me anything the jobs in military are Shooting ones drones ones. Yeah, which they make seem like flying like a cool hobby hobby playing

Which I appreciate and then the other one is you can build bridges because they need bridges for Industry and for us to get those Cool big drones up somewhere to a Takeoff pad. I think there's also a job where like four people look at a radar and then point at a radar radar Yeah, that's us. That's us. Don't get going there. Oh now look. It's up there now. I moved it up to the big screen pretty cool, huh? Where's our dot finder right here, sir? This is us right. That's us. I'm gonna put a little arrow there. So we don't forget. Okay blow up every other dot. Oh, no Uh do it for the laughs as much as you want to dominate someone make it funny because everyone likes that one hilarious kid in the lobby

That's true. Everyone really likes when a bunch of ones are fighting for that Incredible honor is the best part because then it's like It's like I'm on last comic standing. Yep every day every time I play cod and Halo with my best friends Don't be obnoxious. Don't be sorry. Don't be a don't be agnostic. Don't be agnostic Christ is gonna get you there Or he won't he won't but don't don't fall in the middle make a gotta decide you gotta decide

If you're alone, there's one thing game lobbies love. It's strong religious beliefs one way or the other One way or the other either god's gonna help you Get the battle royale and the take the crown in this big fortnight match Or we're all alone and it's you and it all comes down to you And one of those two extremes is the way you gotta go avoid being obnoxious Don't whine and be annoying because chances are you're the one that's gonna get dominated This article is all over the fucking place This is what happens when you have like 28 different authors

Is one author is like be obnoxious is like all right now. Don't hey don't listen don't actually listen to that one Uh make friends. You don't have to friend request them But making some lobby friends is always good, especially if a lobby fight breaks out you want them to have your back Lobby fight. Oh shit. What why is your collar bone broken? Yeah, man You know how it is lobby fight lobby fight. No, not friends on there. I don't friend people. That's serendipity. I let him go I blow I say thanks for the teamwork Send them back into the breeze if our paths cross again, it was meant to be what about hey guys What about instead of trash talk? Yeah, we focus on some treasure talk and just say like hey

Everybody did really good this match and I appreciate it. I've never gotten a compliment while playing an online video game That would be huge for me. Yes. I I have also experienced that just as well. Nice. Nice kill. Jay man You want to hear the most effect? I've only been affected by trash talk once in my entire illustrious gaming career I was playing uh gears of war online and in gears of war to finish this is gross This is yucky stuff guys that iteration of it. You had to stomp on the enemy's Head to finish the fight. They'd be down But then it's like in fortnight, you know, somebody gets down like this except you run over to him

I have to smash my head But whoever smashed the head gets cut for the kill. So this guy next to me. He shoots someone really dead But he doesn't run over as fast as I do because I was close to the bite That's what she said and this guy says to me In the most like disappointed parent voice possible You have to get your own kills, man Oh no Devastated and man

I did feel like trash. That was some good trash talk. I remember it 10 years later. Yeah, man. I felt like trash Wow It was it was did you leave? Did you just turn? Did you turn the xbox off immediately? I don't think I could have hung in the rest of the playing like I was like so I I think I probably shut it off. But like I remember that that's trash. I mean, that's like yeah That's works on it. That's deep. That's going deep for trash talk that I will still look out 10 years later Uh No, when it's appropriate if no one is talking when you in our lobby, it's probably not a good idea to trash talk

Okay, I it's my experience. Someone's gotta start it. Yeah, be careful what you say There are people who report trash talkers if you use overly swear-filled language So trash talk all you want just lay off the f bombs. Yeah, you's like really archaic. I don't think it's I don't think that's trying to I don't think they're police in that. I don't I do not believe that Fucking master chief is like listening in like he said fuck once that one is okay It's PG 13 rules. PG 13 rules. They can show a boob Uh be funny. You don't have to trash on other people And they already say be funny

In most cases you will find that the subject matter is far away from video games in general Just don't talk about racist or controversial subjects unless unless you are in that sort of company Wow Hey wiki how? wiki how wiki how? Shit guys read the room for bigotry and then Dive right in. Listen, man. If everyone's being racist if everyone's having a racist old time You don't want to stand out as the not racist in the room

wiki how? wiki how? They will single you out for for your Unwillingness to produce a thing in the bigotry that this article or this subsection of the article Will still be active by the next time we record or will one of the 38 original authors be like I do not Want my username on this one? One q&a why is my friend acting like she does not want to be my friend anymore That is not your main to the subject what you did

Has certainly had nothing to do with this article. You fucked up irl. These are Are clinically proven ways to just have a funny time on xbox live platform And what's wrong with that a lot? Hey, do you have an exciting idea for a website an idea that you want to share with your brothers? But then they make you wait on that idea until after the break And you're so excited to share it and then they're like well, we gotta go make money first So you have to wait Well, you don't have I'd love to hear your idea because I did promise that I'd listen to it

But first can I take just a one more second just to tell you about squarespace first? completely under why I would note squarespace is a website creation Tool that and it's so much more than that But really you can use squarespace and all their incredible resources to make a website Even if you don't know anything about making a website. Yep. Um, and you know like travis for example He's got this great idea. He's gonna share with us soon. No, my idea so much as it's just like I would a reinvigoration of our brand and we'll get there. We'll get there for sure

We'll get there But you know, it's not going to take long to make this website trap So you don't even need to worry about it because they've got all these incredible templates They're created by the best designers in the biz you pull these in do they get wait. They got jerry website They got jerry website Definitely knows how to cyber. Yeah You can sell products uh with the squarespace website They've got blogging tools you can share your photos videos recommendations like it is very powerful tool

I've used it to make websites and uh now you can too even if you like me Haven't edited since the the whizzy wig dates. Can I use it to share my grinch fan art? Is that your website idea? I'd actually says i'm looking at the squarespace terms Of conditions And it says here that's forbidden only from travis, but it's only implied erotica Yeah, no, they said they hate it. They said they hate it in the terms of condition. They want explicit Yeah, oh, I don't know if I could do that to my hero of the grinch

uh Check out squarespace.com So my brother for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer good my brother to save 10% off your first Purchase of a website or domain sometimes we cross the finish line of an advertisement and one of us is just sort of dragging The like sort of whole riddled sack of the ad copy behind us As it sort of just tumbles out the back Well, it's just like imagine if you were watching like a relay race And up between like race or three and four instead of a baton. They just handed him a dildo and then they were like, oh, okay

They just had to carry that across the finish line Like this is what they gave me man. I don't know the grocery bags are torn and I'm just picking hands of peas up from the parking lot Yeah, and just like just is like don't worry guys. I got it and me and travis are just leg wrestling You probably already have a favorite animal Maybe it's a powerful apex predator like the tiger or a cute and cuddly panda and those are great But have you considered something a little more? unconventional Could I perhaps interest you in the greenland shark which can live for nearly 400 years?

Or maybe the jewel wasp who performs brain surgery on cockroaches to control their minds On just the zoo of us We review animals by giving them ratings out of 10 in the categories of effectiveness ingenuity and aesthetics Listen with friends and family of all ages to find your new favorite animal with just the zoo of us on maximumfun.org Or wherever you get podcasts Hello, I'm a stuffy dowager countess travis. I'm judging everybody's manners Oh, no trainers isn't judgy It's about teaching you to be your best self and be a little more confident when you enter social situations that you don't understand

And maybe also teach you a little bit about history didn't know or give you interesting things to talk about at parties Yeah, like the secret life of emily post or like why wrist watches are the way that they are We can talk about table manners from the victorian era sure or what it's like to attend a regency ball Yeah, uh, you can find all that and more if you listen to shmanners on maximum fun Or wherever your podcasts come from I guess manners shmanners get it Now travis I believe that before we were so rudely interrupted by this Capitalist hellscape which we are in prison The you were about to play along at home

I was about to play along at home But what I've done and I worked really hard on that I took some time away from my family during the holiday season Have you polished up this this bit? I love a lot of your bits I can admit now because of lots of therapy. Thank you, but this one. I still don't know if it's there yet I think what's so exact in Energizing about I have two sets of questions shop things as we do them. I have two sets of questions. Okay one Set of questions is about disney land or disney theme parks, right one set of questions is about pokemon We've done. I think you've done this. Yes. I know, but I this time. I've carefully balanced it

I've gone through I focused tested these okay to make sure they were balanced griffin I'll be asking you the disney questions just and I'll be asking you the pokemon questions We should call this the chuckle lab. Okay, you ready? When travis has a bit we'll call it the chuckle lab and it's the experiment and we're all in it You're in it if you're listening. We're all in it. We're all scientists Griffin in 2006 disney regained the rights to oswald the lucky rabbit by trading nbc. What? the One of the

Huey-Dooey-Dooey duck nephews No insight used to be Huey-Dooey and greg. Yeah got rid of him checked him out because he didn't rhyme It was the services of sports commentator owl michaels Okay, that's wild That's really cool that they were able to do that. Yes. Who is that good for who whose ego does that boost? I have to know Because like on the one hand it seems like wow that's to trade a whole ip just for this one guy But then from the owl michael's perspective, it's like

I'm who I'm equal to what now apparently. I'm moving my beautiful family My beautiful wife and three children of Santa claire california across the country So you can have oswald the lucky rabbit and put him in epic mickey Apparently, uh, the dude from espn when they wanted michael called, uh, and it was like hey, uh, it's me from abc We would like our michael's his contacts going and bob iar was like cool You got it But we want oswald the lucky rabbit and the dude from espn was like who is that and bob iar said time for you to do some research Awesome, okay, they probably could have just done it and no one would have been like yeah, do we own that?

Justin yeah in the original pokemon game The can I do the other ones the three starters to choose from were charmander Bulbasaur and what squirting turtle fuck off travis squirtle Okay, that's one for justin. That's dog. Nice. Okay griffin disney parks have been home to a lot of famous rides These rides include space mountain haunted mansion and a swashbuckling dark ride What was the name of the miniature railroad in walt disney's backyard? The zephyr No, i'm sorry. It was carol wood pacific railroad

He had a miniature railroad in his backyard Okay, we're gonna get be able to ride the train at disney wall again soon. It feels like it's coming up They finished the tunnel through tron Justin in the animated series pokemon trainer ash ketchum was accompanied by his buddy pikachu What was pikachu's catchphrase on the show? pikapi Uh, we'll accept that it was pikachu, but we'll take it I think that this sucks. I think it sucks for a lot of reasons griffin

Arguably the most creative disney imaginer visionary tony baxter was born on what day Christmas No, i'm sorry. He was february 1st 1947 He had a hand in the creation of star tours big thunder mountain really griffin the journey into imagination and many others including What would have been a jules verne themed land called? A discovery land or discovery bay. That's interesting. That's interesting. Justin name a pokemon You can do this mr. Mime We'll accept that yes, mr. Mime that's three for three justin you kick griffin's ass You don't have any more for me because I feel like now i'm justin you sure know a lot about pokemon

I feel like i'm kind of a renaissance dude. Yeah pokemon and disney, you know what i mean griffin You don't know shit It's like what that's like unnecessarily cruel. Oh, I was trying to trash long Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. What sucks. Uh-huh That justin's questions were a lot easier than mine. No, I balanced. I worked very carefully to balance them out They were objectively much easier and last time we did I feel like my questions were easier and justin's was harder and i'm wondering if maybe There's a maybe we need a fourth party who can step in and do a little game balance

Um for the before the next time we do the segment Well, we don't have a fourth brother So I don't know how that would work. Yeah, no, but dad just did just text us Literally this exact moment. Does anybody want to learn yuker? I already fucking know yuker Y'all already know yuker, but regardless. I think dad's our fourth brother Just from the text sometimes we get text from dan and it feels like we haven't spoken to him in six years No, okay. He is referencing the fact that we were chatting about marvel snap. It was a good goof. Oh, yeah We're talking about marvel snap in that. Okay. I'm actually quite good at yuker already fall

That plays a lot of marvel snap y'all travis's plays a lot a lot that plays a lot I play just a regular amount And I and I Go on car dates with the babes Whoa, that's a big thing to admit. You're flandering and like you're cheating on your wife. Oh, babe. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry No, not not me Griffin turn off your camera. Okay. Okay And be quiet

Hey guys, it's uh, justin and travis from the macroi brothers. Um God, I never thought we'd have to do this one. It's so hard. It's uh, As you know, no dude wife guy griffin macroi and our former brother. Um has been Try how would you say it? I mean I revealed uh has been Unmasked unmasked unmasked god as a real piece of shit He's been going on car dates with babes with babes multiple babes multiple babes multiple car dates probably multiple cars He's on one right now. He's on right come on guys. I just got hold on guys I just drove my car into my third story window and part parked it where you said talk to something about me

I'm just doing normal shit grocery store shit Um, yeah, you still have a whole car date with babe vibe around you. I'm not on a car date with six babes right now Stop it Multiple babes at the same time Even that's not even fair to the babes. Do they know about each other? Even this bit hugely Deeply uncomfortable Yeah, you did a costume change for this bit

I mean, it's a great don't get me wrong I don't regret the bit because it's I think I think it's blue beetle from dc comics I think it's pretty funny. I thought it was a pretty I post game. I thought it was a pretty funny bit It made me feel deeply uncomfortable while you're still wearing the sunglasses. They're prescriptions. So they're fine I want a munch I want to Oh Welcome button squad as podcast within podcast profile and latest grace of brand eating at two two

Two scoops of news for you today. One is kfc is giving the gift of five dollar famous bowls And limited edition holiday buckets. Sorry starbucks, but the the colonel has his own thing It's chicken time for the holiday season kfc's debut debut debuting. Yeah, let's get confused about debuting debuting Debuting debuting new bargains and buckets to make it easier to enjoy all of your celebrations Whether you're looking to sneak away for a quick bite to fuel your holiday shopping. Hell. Yeah, away from your family From your family For a bucket of chicken to eat a bucket of chicken by yourself in private

Yeah, in the in a silent nodding to the other patrons like yeah me too, buddy Yeah, I think that there was a another box of decorations in the garage and I missed it. I gotta go look What are you talking about? It's december 22nd. I got it. Just I'll be back in about 15 minutes Hey, I when I drove the kids to school this morning Uh, it smelled like and there was a big empty bucket of kentucky fried chicken Did you maybe eat a whole one of those while sitting idling in the car in the target parking lot yesterday? Raccoon must have gotten in the car. Raccoon stand they bring chicken into cars and eat it and leave it three-time grammy nominated rap superstar jack harlow

teams up with a claimed comedian and entrepreneur Druski to promote the five dollar deal. Okay Based on a childhood memory of being in his dad's truck and picking up a kfc in the drive through the press release says Picking up a kfc in the drive through So I don't I don't he's got some serious towing capacity. It's got to be a ram 1500 Oh, it's got to hit me for sure. It's a guy to hit me. This one's got to hit me Picking up kfc in the drive through harlow's nostalgia for the famous bull Transports him to an animated world of memories of enjoying the iconic bull. Whoa. How old is jack harlow?

Is this the this is what I'm like this kind of threw me right because has the famous bull been A goof for long enough that it went around Okay, jack harlow is only 24 years old So I can believe that he has nostalgia But how do you have nostalgia for a thing that still exists? I'm confused about that and is gross Also that bigger question I just want to point out young gravy is older than jack harlow. So a little bit of mislabeling more like old gravy My favorite part of the famous bull is the thick and gelatinous layer of young gravy

Let's see if there's anything you they have a new sharing is caring a themed holiday bucket Um, here's the quote the holidays at kfc go hand in hand There's no better way to satisfy craving for comfort and connection than by sharing a bucket of kfc with family and friends There's no better That's it pinnacle our holiday bucket with free cookies and five dollar famous bowls are two gifts That are sure to feed the joyful moments that surrounds this season The other thing I wanted to mention to you guys as long as I have you here if I could borrow a moment one more moment of your time is uh

Panera bakery shakes and I'm going to hold off on showing you the picture of these because The picture is really important here and maybe we'll upload it somewhere certainly or or you but uh, or we won't They could see a national rollout in 2023 and the chain begin to test them in texas They're leveraging panera is leveraging core bakery items and transforming its existing offerings to capture younger Audiences drive visitation and strengthen attachment across day parts. Yeah, the robot currently Day day parts on november 16th Panera launched a test in its texas market of its first bakery shakes and then it says in parenthetical Think frozen blended shakes. Yeah

Yeah, yeah, man. Yeah, like a shake Like a shakery be a better name may roll out this beverage item nationwide during the warmer months of 2023 this new frozen blended beverage platform Is the latest example of panera expanding into new menu offerings after launching grain bowls in 2019 and flatbread pizzas in 2020 and then I guess taking three years off to pad themselves in the back for how good things are going at panera Now this is the actual the actual reason I wanted to draw your attention here and let me see if I can yeah Here we go. I'm gonna zoom this in a little bit. See so you have a better view So

Huh So look at this for a second guys. Oh, it's a bit what you see it. No, it's not a Well, but I mean it's a bit like when you go like you remember that time We went to juniors cheesecake place in new york and it was like this is a new york style like milkshake and it had Much like the one on the right there a whole hunk of cheesecake on top Yeah, but

So if I if you're not looking at these right now, it's it's a chocolate milkshake like a blended cookie milkshake A strawberry milkshake then stacked on top of the chocolate one is Two brownies with whipped cream and then there's another one that's two cookies with pretzels and on In between them with whipped cream and then there's a third one that's strawberry But these are cheese cake strawberry and cheesecake strawberry cheesecake These are entirely created in photoshop. Look at the strawberry one There is a strawberry balancing on top of another strawberry. Yeah, they've never done this. They've never constructed. They've never done this Now just they have not made these never this is a joke

They have not made them Is it clear in the press release whether or not the drinks actually come balanced with these things on top? Or is this just a representation? This is what's so confusing to me trav if it's a representation then this art is like hugely mislead I mean the art is not meant to say like it's like this. It's meant to say this will come on top of it Yeah, for sure, but it is also so clumsy and precarious Yes, this can't be it also photoshopped on here the all the labels red labels on the cup about to you guys didn't have those Yeah, Andy

um, I Am scared to think of what any of these would look like In what it what what is going to slide across the counter to me when I order one of these for me and each of my children Uh, so you want me to moosh the cookies right away? I know careful Here's your drinks. Oh all six cookies fell down like yeah, man for sure Sometimes when we moosh them in there the drink tends to slurp right onto the counter the whole drink slurps out It's just messy cookies. Then I got fired. It's it's easier this way Take the milkshake in this hand and hold out the other hand. I'm just gonna put the whole slice cheesecake right in there pal. Have fun

Squish them together at the table like you're making a guacamole It'll be 13 dollars. Thank you This is good though. Thanks, Panera. You're always keeping keeping it real keeping it real ads We got time for another question or what's up? Yeah, let's do it. All right My friend just became a high school theater teacher and we just went to the place you directed with their students It was good and I told her I liked it But I feel like she was looking for more feedback, but I still don't really know what the director does even I know some of it is managing the kids so the best compliment I could come up with was

It seems like everyone was doing what they were supposed to be doing great Yeah, what does a high school play director do and how do I compliment them? okay, so Hearing you're not you're can I say as somebody who has directed multiple Plays with kids in it. You're not entirely wrong. Yeah, that you're very close actually Have we all directed plays with children in them? No, why would I ever why would I that's right? I forgot griffin hates the theater um I would say that there's an equal chance that they want a compliment sure, but also a chance to

complain about the entire process with another adult They want to justify the failings and play them on the children I think you would actually be better served if you could pick out who was the real stinker up there and just be like But can we talk about newsie number three or whatever because that kid was fucking phoning it guarantee the bank Thank you. Yes. Thank you worse. Yeah worse kid A bad adult even I will ghost that far. They will be a bad adult when they get older. They're the worst That I think is it like hey, it seems like everyone's doing what they're supposed to be doing Kids are having fun up there

A store the store made sense. That's a triumph when you have children delivering lines All good, but a chance to be like And did you see Her pure wet in the second that was the best I could get out of her. I know like why would a director be in charge of that? Because it's a high school production griffin and not fucking broad way You don't think they have a choreographer Well, it might end up being like our high school productions where there was like five different adults all claiming to be equal parts in charge Yeah, which made for some real solid

continuity to the entire show man art I every children's theater show we ever did felt Pretty strict in terms of you can't just make shit up and change the play Whatever you want, but all the high school shows we did were like have fucking fun, man I was just thinking about the other day our high school put on a production of great expectations And the director who I will not name The director of the show thought it would be a badass idea

If the main character of great expectations after the show ends and I think there's like a fire And maybe the old lady dies Havisham, I don't know But thought it'd be badass if before the main character walked off the stage before curtains drew It looked at the the the audience and went great expectations Just like tossed that shit right there on the end in that way great Expectations just like they do it in the book though. Yeah. Have you read the book?

Well, because at first the expectations, they're great. Yeah in your expectations They go down Realize in the middle of saying the title of the play that you are now sad because of the events that unfolded That's a kick-ass note. Thanks director And that's double cool because that director had that idea. Yeah, and then stuck to it. Yeah And it's like they heard the kids say it that way and went yes Well, control as same to his credit that the guy who was playing that role didn't deliver that did deliver the line More in a mumbly way and every night got the same note of like hey, you're doing great

And it's a heavy load that you carry up there. But do remember at the end that light is supposed to be delivered great Expectations, uh, thank you so much for listening to our podcast my brother my brother. Maybe we hope you've enjoyed yourself Trav what's all the stuff we got to tell people because I know thank you so much for asking. Justin Well, uh, first and foremost We've got our candle nights live show It's virtual once more this year So you're gonna want to get tickets for that. What are you waiting for? It's December 17th at 9 p.m. Eastern time tickets go on sale. Uh, they're on sale now

bit.ly slash candle nights 2 0 2 2 candle nights 2022 We got a lot of great guests and all proceeds from that show go to benefit harmony house A a shelter in our hometown of Huntington, West Virginia helping people experiencing homelessness We've got our shrimp angel ornament our bureau of balance metal ornaments and the candle nights with a k Ornament designed by brie polson Proceeds from that ornament also go to harmony house and 10 percent of all merch proceeds from december go to harmony house So make sure you check all that out at macroemerge.com we also have some

Some tour dates coming up in in april for the shows we had to reschedule In san jose and denver april 27th We're gonna be in san jose doing taz with a bria iyengar The day after we're gonna stay in san jose and do ma bem bam and then april 29th We're gonna be in denver doing ma bem bam all existing tickets will be honored for the new dates But you can still go get tickets at bit.ly slash macroi tours Correct that felt good. It felt right mask and proof of full vaccination or negative covid tests within 72 hours of event start Will be required did i already say that i don't remember but it's but now i've done and said it twice if so

Uh, thanks to montane for these for theme song. My life is better with you. Uh, it's a jammer and a slammer and uh, You should you should get the album Making it because it's uh one of my favorites the whole dang year and also, uh the adventure zone graphic novel 11th hour comes out february 21st 2023 go to theadventuresonecomic.com to pre-order Listen Yeah, that was a lot of stuff. It is a lot of stuff I think Who is it gonna be this we gotta come up with something

Yeah, I think justin i feels like justin has something important to say to the audience It felt like that was that was mine We gotta come up with something gotta come up with something Well, is that a sort of general? Yeah, like for everyone just everybody like We gotta come up with something so just like a general blue sky opportunity for humanity to come up with Something yeah, what does that mean to you? That that's the power of it, right? It can mean anything. No, it means probably one of two things. I don't think there's that many interpretations of what you just said

Yeah, okay greeted disagree My name is just a macaroy. My name is travis macaroy. My name is griffin macaroy This has been my brother my brother me and we gotta come up with something It gets your dad's cargo Oh It's better with you Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported