My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 642: Snort the Pod

Episode Date: January 9, 2023

We're banging out more advice than ever before! New year, new brothers! Actually, it's the same brothers, but new advice! Actually, it's very similar advice, but with one key difference: this is the year we finally admit that sleight-of-hand prestidigitation is not the answer to everyone's problems. Suggested talking points: Welcome to Podcast, Find the Bidet, Did You Piss On Your Hands?, It's an Homnor to be Menonmanated , Sauce Sauce Sauce Shoes, Poppet Never Does That for AnyoneRAICES: https://www.raicestexas.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up you cool, baby? Precious friendship Could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better

It's better it's better It's better it's better Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother mean advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy and allow me to be the first to welcome you to 20 son-in-say Surf the vibe. Yeah, hang ten bra. It's me Travis McElroy Hey, hey, hey there boogie bros Cup hey there boogie bros. It's me your baby is brother Griffin McElroy. I did cock cock in there

Did I say? Did I say that you said cock? I said hey there boogie bros. Yeah Like one might say Edit point, but it's like yeah, this is my Manchurian candidate Style activation word for all the cucks out there You know who you are. Oh Boy, I don't know about you guys

But in the four days since we recorded that last episode where we named the year 20 son-in-sea surf the vibe I don't know that I've Necessarily embodied the spirit of it. I don't know that I've been really given the chance to do that I'm the only one of the three wearing like a tropical shirt. I've grown my hair out. Well. Yes in the last four days Hair you can't is not fair to bring to the show. We've talked about this before because yours does all kinds of like fun stuff that Mine doesn't do Justin's could do it. I think if you had the strength of his convictions, but for me Travis I'm also really embracing and not letting go of just as like a personal mantra deeper than words

Deeper than by which I mean deeper than shirts I'm gonna surf the vibe in a non Purely aesthetic way with that. I 100% do not want to reopen 641, but I will say Griffin. There's something about you having your own sub theme that bothers me Yeah, oh really? Oh really, mr. Mr. Fucking be be man every year bees bees bees all the time bees bees in the trap bees in the trap I've been working with a firm who's developed that strategy I'm sick of this fucking fiction. I I will keep Christmas in my way and you will keep

yours I had some come I had some complaints in the inbox. No that we continue to insist on the 20 pronunciation and don't embrace 20 Because that but apparently they're they're making the case that 20 is Appropriate and accurate well 20. I think a lot of it is I don't want to have to hear us including myself Try to say it like I know we're definitely gonna sound like we're doing bad very bad bond impressions Or really probably like Hindsight mr. Bond is 20 20

I love that little baby the talking dog is funny, but babe the baby Stewie he is a lady Yeah, I love that impression. Oh, that did kind of sound like him didn't that yeah Wow, okay, so with my stewie Travis's Cartman juice you need can you do? Rick or Morty? I Love you. I love you Morty. Okay, we have to change the past Dinosaurs are Nazis. I don't yeah, that was actually pretty good. I love you famously like the one thing he does not say What not I love you. I haven't been allowed to watch The show I have certain

Yeah, I go over my friend's house. It's adult swim. Yeah Nighttime is kind of when Rachel gets the TV. Yeah, and you go you go down for resties I go down for rest. Yeah, this is uh, this is an advice show We take your problems and turn them alchemy like into wisdom. I mean now for a while now We haven't done that for a minute If anything we've taken your problems and turned them alchemy like into different problems Is there a resolution that you guys have for this show in this the other show for the show for the show Everybody's turning over new leaves. I don't have a bit. I'm literally just asking. Is there anything you'd like to do?

I think it might be nice if we help more people. You know what I mean? Maybe I don't interrupt enough I could really amp that up. Yeah. No, I think you did that pretty good last year Well, there's always room for more. No, I'm saying like the balance of interrupting that you do right now is like Perfect. Oh, really? It's perfect. No notes. No notes. Um I think that I've really also kind of been batting a thousand lately. I don't think any of us should I'm actually I would be scared of any of Us changing literally any aspect of the show at this point. I don't know. It's holding it together. Yeah at this point Yeah, because it could be the you know, maybe travis does one less bit and the whole jalape just kind of

Plonks apart. I could you I could do with a good travis bit today. That would be oh, no bad news fellas No, it's actually great that it doesn't come when we need it. No, it would be No, it doesn't come when you want him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Uh, let's help people I'm done Kidding around great. Okay, great I recently started a new job with a break room that features a cured coffee machine as well as a large selection of k-cups My mom recently gifted me a huge quantity of starbucks holiday blend k-cups One of my favorite coffees and I currently can't use them since I do not have a career get home

So I asked this brothers Would it be weird to bring my own k-cups to work and make my own coffee with the company's machine? How can I sneak my own coffee without my boss thinking he has a weak coffee selection and being offended? That's from out for coffee in orange county cop Oh, this is nice. It's nice to be able to knock one out of the park. We are super easy You're asking if I spend my own money And make a company spend less money replacing k-cups. They must provide With the boss care. No, I hey, I'll go out even further on limb

I unless I don't what okay assuming your boss isn't like a michael scott type, you know, like one of those guys Okay, now i'm laughing. Yeah, i'm already over here Not even gonna notice what cups you're using In the curic you okay, but you need to walk through the this is the problem with being so far removed from office Life, you don't remember it. I watch it all the time Imagine you're sitting in there with stanley and phyllis and all the game Okay, and it's time to make your coffee. Do I get along best with jesson? Do you think knowing what you know about me phyllis?

You think phyllis and I yeah, I can see that I can see you getting along really well with phyllis. Maybe real well trev Real well. Oh, yeah. I've said uh, yeah, yeah Imagine the situation when you're in there and you're like, oh, I'd love a cup and they're like yum Get your coffee break going and then you go You creep over to your bag and you unzip it and then you reach it and you pull out your own little cake Then you zip the back back up and then you're get you've already Something is wrong Well, yeah, I've done something wrong planning that that you're gonna have to palm it from your desk in your pocket

Oh, I love this and then you're doing a little misdirect. Oh bird outside the world And then like that is yours so so much better news that I put love in it and then you drink it Right in the bathroom my My New Year's resolution travis is we stop pretending that sleight of hand press the digitization is a solution to all our problems Yeah, there's a lot of problems where if you're a master of the sleight of hand The art the arts the dark arts of that. Thank you. You you could solve a lot of problems with sleight of hand press the digitization I don't think that's fair to just say be good as sleight of hand be good at table magic. I'm tired of them

Um, they are also definitely gonna clock that the cup is there someone's gonna open up this machine when it long after You're gonna be oh, this is great. This looks good. This is better than the shit That michael buys for us I shouldn't have said michael because that is the name of the boss on the office but And maybe the boss is a real deep a d bag who brought in this curing machine It was like you guys heard of this shit This shit is

Primo stuff babes, but it's like, you know, oh no, he's gonna get fired Well, yeah, or he's gonna get promoted. Am I right? He's like it's like a little I know you're looking at this little cup and you're like How could there be a whole cup of coffee in there? You fucking dummy? That's why I'm the boss And so if you do put in better coffee in there, he's gonna be pretty embarrassed probably Yeah, yeah, or he's gonna see it. It's a real alpha male move That's what real alpha does brings their own coffee. You're going places and what I've what I do know about Alphas, uh-huh

They love to eat cats being one myself is that when other alphas come around we're like cool That's great for me. Yeah alphas love taking orders from other alphas and then around with the other alphas and well It's lonely. It's lonely at the top. Yeah That's why as an alpha I like to have somebody in charge of me That makes me feel more comfortable as an alpha to know that I don't have to make all the decisions I don't have to be in charge. You know what I mean? Ticks the pressure off. Sure. Just just um Just drink Just drink the cup

Like from the tiny pod Go to your desk Drink the cup So you're saying don't put the pod inside of the machine you're saying you understand it's from what I understand I think it's just powder in there Eat the Tied pod challenge. Maybe you just Guys I for like people sometimes take the audio from this show and they put it on tiktok

And they make like a billion dollars off of it or whatever But we cannot be responsible for the k-cup challenge Because that's bad and people go to hospital I bet a lot and then all of a sudden great shame is brought to our hometown But griffin justin's just saying tear open the pod Put it in neat lines on your desk and snort the pod. No, don't do that. No snort the pod

I did not say snort the pod. No, I think you did though. That should be our tagline for this show Snort the pod snort the pod Is it too late to change the year? No one knows what happens if you put an air pod in each nostril and press play at two times speed max volume But I think it goes a little something like this and this is a tiktok challenge. Do do that And they're probably like on the screen like Because all the podcasting is going just right into the you know, the mucus membranes That's easy eat the pod next question. Next question. I hope it has the same answer. Thank you

I know you won't a lot of people send in a wizard league Okay for us a wizard of waverly place for us Never got into that one the pilot episode This this one is how to use a bidet And it was updated on christmas day Was david henry on that one wizards of waverly place. No one knows on this podcast david henry Wizard, okay. Look at this. I realized this. I made this connection this week. David henry wizards of waverly place

Okay, that one video I made for travis that one time paul blart mall cop two. Oh, holy shit. You're right lane And he's the son in how I met your mother A good gig by the way because he filmed everything for the first two seasons Gets ziggies. Oh, yeah residuals for all the seasons. They're reusing the footage. We all know what ziggies are He gets ziggies for all those episodes even though he finished filming after the second season unbelievable All right, unbelievable career this guy has david henry rolling in it. Also, you can get adam on cameo if you want I do love

Doing unpaid cameo promotions for people but juice there have probably been many people who listen to this podcast Sitting in a toilet with a dirty butt for the last two and a half minutes Like I was just so much shut the fuck up. So I figure out how to ride this spaceship Okay, okay Do you want to say something to those people who you have left with a dirty butt for two Sorry that I left you once again with a dirty butt You said my my my thing this year is helping more people and then I was like, I'm gonna help people and you're laughing David Henry get a little cameo business going. Yes. You're laughing with all those ziggies probably not with the ziggies

After wait, are you getting some off the top j-man? Are you getting oh, you're getting 10% you're getting ziggies from those ziggies There's step one And it's keep your grades up Keep those fucking grades A fee or higher. What is the question yet? What are we? I was so excited about the day How do you get a day? Okay, you don't even got it. You don't even you don't even care

You want to hear rubbing elbows with David Henry and others with star elites. All right. Step one keep your grades up step two Use the toilet first The purpose of the bidet is to help clean off after toilet You can use the bidet in conjunction with toilet paper or you can use bidet on its own Some people believe using a bidet as a hygienic substitute for toilet paper, but many choose to use both But regardless the order of the operations You don't need it. You didn't need wiki how for this to know that before you clean up the mess You got to make the mess. Well, yeah, but we've all been gifted the days in our homes. Yeah

Mine actually commuted with the sale of our of our austin estate sad because you're not gonna go But you can't go back can't go back Um No, you can try to go back to an old house and say, hey, can I really like this potty? Can I use it again? They get weird. They do. They do get strange about it. Um, find the bidet Sometimes the bidet is located near the toilet attached to the wall It looks something like a low sink or a toilet with a faucet However, many modern bidets are built into the toilet seat. So you don't need to get up to straddle another fixture. I cannot imagine

No, I cannot imagine Moving to a second location. No for a butt blasting. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's a whoa Jamie you got to be careful with your phrasing here, dude. Once again audio can you cannot go to the second location for the butt blasting You need it, right? I just gave it to him cleaner. That'll be a cleaner one Guys, we can't live we can sorry just a quick programming note for just the three of us is we can't live in fear Of the gun that tiktok has to our heads at all times waiting for us to say some shit Yeah, dear dear listener imagine at home that sometimes when you talked jojo siwa would repeat the things that you said On video that you do have that particular sort of damocles hanging over your head as you might have to see your child's hero

Jojo siwa repeat the dumb things you said. Yeah, so that that is cost that's a non zero chance It's terrifying. Um I saw the first time I was exposed to a bidet. Was that a friend's house? He shall remain nameless But in his parents like en suite Uh, I don't know why I was using that bathroom, but I saw the bidet Next to their nice toilet and I had I thought I remember thinking at the time that it was it must have been in the middle of A repair like it was a toilet that was hadn't been finished being built yet But then that didn't really answer the question of why they would have two side-by-side toilets one of which was half built

Um, but I didn't investigate further I have a week. I mean we travel a lot. We do like tours and stuff I've stayed in a hotel room that had one of those side-by-side bidets Oh, wow And I knew what it was and I but I still look at it if I ever Can encounter one in the wild and just try to like geo like geometry figure out Yeah, and it just feels like the only way to do it is to like shimmy and hover and I can't bring myself If only there was a guide

For how to use a bidet. Oh wait, that's what I'm reading out loud right now Okay, so to recap I pooped Yeah, and then I found the bidet. There it is Okay, now it's so far the phrasing of that by the way is clunky wiki how because when I first heard find the bidet I assumed you meant locate one in the world and not what is the apparatus. It's there. Okay. Um, okay You've already located a bidet. You just haven't pinpointed it. Please They are so dirty travis and now you're the one stalling Straddle a standalone bidet on most standalone bidets

You can choose to face the bidet's water controls or you can face away from them as you would on a toilet. I don't like that I don't like having that like reaching behind me to hope that I get the right spot Well, no, I don't want I don't like there being a 50 50 chance Like from the jump that I'm going to get this wrong That there was a correct way that I should have been facing Based on sort of where my stuff is and where it's dirty and then This guide has not told me specifically what use case I should be looking at. There's got to be a better Right, I think I think Justin will appreciate this most out of the three of us

But what we need is those like voiceover things that happen when you're like getting on a roller coaster at disney world It's very explicitly like enter the car Hold your hands up the bar will move automatically. I need a recorder voice giving me step by step instructions on repeat Right using this standalone bidet. I thought you were going to say you needed voiceover of yourself Every time you sat down at the toilet that went like I know you're probably wondering how would I end up in this situation? I actually wouldn't mind that So you can straddle it. I guess like a cool teacher with a dirty dirty butt and then you

That Travis reminds me I I do I do always at home Do a little like straight to camera narration like before I use the bathroom like as I'm closing the door I look out. I'm like, I think I'll handle this part on my own Yeah, that's funny. Just in case of Truman show. Yeah, if you say that they legally have to stop filming This part's great. If you're wearing pants, you may need to remove them to straddle the bidet facing the controls I don't I don't I don't know how physically you would unless you wrapped your pants around the back of the bidet and sort of like

God on it like that like it like you've created a perfect hoop Out of your legs and pants, but the instructions have already told me that I need to shit first Yeah, so are they worried that I finished? Shitting didn't right? No, no, no, no finish it and pull up pants. Travis you know not pull up pants What you were saying is that when you go to use the bathroom you fully remove Fold your jeans and hang them up I am so it's saying remove all the way to straddle My anxieties are as such that I

Am very cautious about walking into any bathroom for fear that I might Stumble in on the scene of a crime. Yeah Whenever that has happened in the small handful of times it has happened It has instantly every time been like Oh shit, sorry, and I walked out if I open up the door crack And I see you've taken your pants completely off To use the toilet. Yeah, I'm afraid my reaction time might not be as high just because I I'm going to be so desperately curious of like

Hey, wait a minute. Where did they? I'm also assuming the tech the move here is you take the pants completely off But days right next to the toilet you kind of you're sitting on the toilet and then you can just Then you just pivot Yeah, I just pivot Gryffindor is taking his headphones completely off, which is bad for He is now just demonstrating the move He's still pivoting

I think Once Gryffin puts his headphones back on I think the weirdest way to track. Did you guys follow that? Yeah, we got it Okay, the weirdest version of taking your pants off in the bathroom. I decided Is if you take them all the way off and hang them up a lot of thoughts put it What if you just took them off and scooted your feet back about six inches? Okay, so it's just enough But it's like I could get back into them quicker because I think that's what we're all thinking about right?

If you see someone with their pants pulled around their ankles, they're ready for anything They think their pants completely off. They're not ready for anything But maybe I'm ready for some things. There's a small you've reduced the number of things you're ready for Astronomically your pants on one foot and still straddle a turlet now That's interesting like you're pivoting right now. You will have to pivot back to line up your left foot, right? It's gonna be tricky no matter what or you could just do A toilet seat per day, which I feel like whoever invented that was just like What do we do? It should all the mess should go in one bowl like why?

Why do we have a two bowl solution for this guys? Come on. It was staring us in the face the whole time Does a regular bidet flush? I think it's just like a water fountain I think it's just always going down. Okay Man, I've never used a standalone bidet and I don't think I care to looking at some of these diagrams I am looking at this wiki how article I'm reading out loud to our millions of followers If I ever had to use a standalone bidet but full day, I don't think I could figure

I think I wouldn't know how to do it. I actually think that's what a lot of hotels are counting on Or it's just like yeah, it's there man. You won't use it. Good luck Note that most bidets don't have seats but are still meant to be sat upon you just sit directly on the rim Some days do that have no Let me finish please Some bidets do not have jets. They simply have a faucet that fills the basin Much as you would fill a sink basin in this latter case You'll need to use your hands to manually clean yourself. No, I know now listen. Listen

I understand that there are no no no no when you travel There are different sort of there are different parts of the world where that is more that is more the norm than it is In other parts of the world. I get that and I'm sensitive to that But it does introduce so many more points of failure for me someone who's Bidet bidet curious I would say somebody who would see a standalone bidet and be like, I bet I could I bet I could tackle one of these. I bet I could get this right

But but then I'm sit all of a sudden I'm sitting on the rim just splashing like a pool of water up into my business and like This feels wrong. I need help. I need another person in here. I think it's introducing too much uncertainty That's exactly. I mean, yes If I go into you guys ever gone this this I don't think this happens in all bathrooms But in some bathrooms, I've been in there's the one in um The one that springs to mind is the one in in batu Yes in star wars the star wars outposts in the little market there There's the big out of big trough. Sometimes you see these baseball games. It is not immediately clear

If that is a hand washing station or a urinal well both or both or it is both I mean, it is both any anything wet Can do no longer. I don't think that I would have the certainty of like if it's just like Well, there's a bowl of water. Maybe I should clean my asshole with it Like I feel like that is a big logical jump. I'm not willing to make especially not a stranger's home I don't want to brag But I wash myself in the bathtub and or shower. I'm a big boy to care for myself And I don't shy away from all the parts. I get that right so it's not like washing yourself

I just want to say because I don't want like if travis says it and we don't say it I also get cleaned down there Like if I if travis says that and I don't say it they're gonna be like, why don't griffin and jessie and also get cleaned down there For me, it's when you introduce as jessie griffin both said So I just do it with my hand like the idea of no, no, no, they're the switch Anything like that where I'm like, this can't be it is all I'm gonna keep saying this can't be it I almost heard if there is just a faucet pointing downward Someone would walk in on me

Somehow upside down like a spider man Like hanging from the faucet like some sort of like some sort of gargoyle Or vampire bat like is this right? Is this correct? And at this point we've been gone from our family and friends two hours It's been so long we come out of bathrooms soaked head to toe like I don't Ah So clean I just want to say the last step is wash your hands and that's good. Yeah, that's good. You should still be doing that

I know Fauci's not banging that drum is loud anymore. So I guess He's got a little slacked off on it. It's up to me Wash your hand if I want to I just think hand washing should be a part of any toilet experience Yeah, day or no, right? Especially when you hear Fauci's thing You should get people are like, should you wash your hands when you're doing the bathroom? And Fauci said, I don't know. Did you piss on your hands? And I was like, whoa, dude Yeah, I remember one time I was in I live in DC Fauci central and I was at a you know Sports bar watching a game and then I saw him in the bathroom. Sounds true so far

I was at the urinal and he walked in and used the urinal right next to me zipped up and walked right out And I was like Fauci what gives and he was like didn't touch it and then he left Wait, that wasn't Fauci that was just it That's a few more times than I can count Gryffindor and the marines they teach us not to piss on our hands. Yeah To quote my favorite movie the negotiator a classic I love that movie

No, no the all good actors all good times That was the tagline on the poster These two good men are swearing off in a battle of Good dudes no problems at all. Oh fuck Hey, can we go to can we go to the zone? Come on Give him a car Bombas Yeah

I think that One of the things I would like to offer as a service to people who uh by Advertising swaths on our show is like let me develop a very catchy Short kind of tagline for you and I would like to try this one Bombas put it on Whoa, well, you could do that for so many of our sponsors though. Yeah, but I'm giving it to bomb It up a little can you tighten it up a little bit? Uh, let's see

Bombas Wear it. No bombas Mmm Okay, so should we start this ad all the way over All the way over let's just start the ad all the way over maybe okay when I'm reaching for socks I don't have any choices in the world of socks. You know why because all my socks are bombas. Yep They're comfortable. They're clean after I've watched them They're made from great materials like pima cotton

And all the other great ones that they use that you know marino wool. Yes sound luxurious. That's because it is They're luxuriously soft socks and undies and t-shirts and this is really nice Those items are the top three items requested by homeless shelters and for every one of these items that you buy bombas is going to Donate to a shelter for people experiencing homelessness A pair of your items. So that's like you're doing something good for you Plus you're doing good something good for other people and If you use a code

You're doing something good for us Because it makes them buy more ads. So if you think about it, it's a moral imperative. Yes I'm just I'm going to shift the ad a little bit and say that not buying bombas is actually unethical And could get you canceled. Yeah. Wow juice. It could yeah Bob is the right thing to do the only thing to do the only choice is bombas Um, cool. Do you want to read the rest of the actual ad? For sure, man. Go to bombas.com slash my brother and use code my brother for 20 percent Off your first purchase. That's b o m b a s dot com slash my brother and use code my brother at checkout

Or go to hell Yeah, that's go to hell guys We are Once again nominated for best ad reads. Yeah, we can blame them For the podcast awards or whatever I Do wonder if maybe just maybe for the next few weeks We could try to read the ad copy in our fun twisted fucked up south parkway without

introducing taglines like you know Bombas Fuck Rudy Giuliani like just throwing in like bombas. Welcome to hell idiot. Like so i said bombas or go to hell Yeah, yeah, sure sure sure, but i'm wondering if maybe we could try to Stick to the script a little bit more instead of introducing um taglines like bombas It's like a car from the future that you can have sex with

Like well, that's very good. Yeah, that is actually pretty good. Yeah, I'd buy it. I'd wear this Okay, let's try it. Let's try it. We got babble up next Babble guys, we've done babble a lot. We cannot fuck this up. So let's try to let's try to get it get it Right this time. Okay There's an extremely loud truck driving by my house right now or I wake up in there Okay, if I have a loud truck on my track, it's gonna go to fucking smart. Let's again Hey, it's a new year and you know what that means. It's a chance to pick up new jobs or new skills like say, uh You wanted to travel more right new travel experiences

You could become an international hit hit person Travis And with that you're gonna need to blend in seamlessly To many different countries and cultures. Do you want to want to be a shadow? Do you want? Sorry, let me try let me try Travis's approach. Do you want to commit the gravest sin? Do so while getting bombas Just the second gravest cardinal sin Well, you should do so while being able to speak many languages with babble If you if you can't satisfy

If you are having a hard time slaking your thirst for death here in America and you want to travel abroad to do so Babble baby language for life But that's not for their life because you're gonna end that They won't need to worry about knowing any languages. You've terminated them. Hey Griffin. This is not about a thirst for blood This is a job. This is like we live in a gig economy, baby I know the original gig hit personing. I don't think that's it either. I think it is. It's the oldest profession

And so you can learn. Oh, there's so many different uh languages and it all comes in easy, but fun bite-sized lessons So it's not going to take all day. You could do it in between things you could do it while you're waiting You know for the next in between marks, right? Yeah, and so you can learn a new language in as little as three weeks In addition, you can get access to podcasts games videos stories even live classes So there's a lot of immersive stuff in there as well And it comes with a 20 day money back guarantee And right now you get up to 55 percent off your subscription when you go to babble.com slash my brother

That's b a bb el.com slash my brother for up to 55 percent off your subscription Babble language for life wink Jay Keith, do you know what I love more than the trivia comedy and celebrity guests on our podcast go fact yourself No, what ellen sharing all of those things with an actual audience. Yes Well, lucky for you go fact yourself is back to being a live audience show Yeah, we've got a free recording coming up on january 15th in los angeles and february 11th in pasadena And if you can't make it there, all of our recordings will still be available as a podcast twice a month every month on maximumfun.org Yeah, no excuses. So if you're not listening you can go fact yourself

Hey there, it's adabelle gerwig and i'm laura house We host tiny victories the 15 minute podcast that's about the little things getting into the tiny victory frame of mine Is about recognizing minor accomplishments and fleeting joys Isn't it a wonderful day when the first password you try actually works? When it's freezing cold outside and toasty as i'll get out in my shower My tiny victory is that I turn off the water and get on with my day We can't change this big dumb world, but we can celebrate the tiny wins So join us on maximum fun or wherever you listen to podcasts. Let's get tiny

I know that they keep nominating us because we talk about it more than everybody else. Uh-huh combined But best ad reads tough this year guys. Yeah, it's a it's stacked man. It's stacked. Uh, they got Here's who we're up against code and o'brien Nicole bier lost renee brown We have lost jennifisher and angela kenzie from the office like what? Wow I mean I'm gonna say we're way better than one of those people, but I won't say which one

Wow, I guess it's a nominator. It's all murder just to be nominated. I guess it is. I'm there to be not Because we're not waiting to be nominated. Yeah, they should give you I don't want to have some sort of plaque For being nominated. I think that's only fair because I'm not going to get the other You should get you should get a platter for being marmalade. Send a send me a airbrush shirt podcast awards Say you were nominated. I here's what I'm saying if we won we would send airbrush shirts to all the holy shit Like it was the armor being nominated with you. Wait, this is huge This can be the strategy if we win it's gonna matter a lot to us That's probably more than it would matter to these other

Very very successful comedian type people if we won it's all we'd ever talk about Yeah, we weren't just nominated that we won it too. It's gonna throw it Conan's gonna throw it in the drawer with all of his other awards. Yeah Well, we need it. We need it. We need a win Yeah This is a gross one. I want a munch No, I don't like any of these mouse Bucket of podcast, sorry, welcome much God

Just to be advertised on this one Uh, welcome much God podcast of the podcast profile the latest spirits of brand eating Buffalo Wild Wings collaborates with rookie amod sauce gardener and artist mosh to create the first custom cleats Featuring real sauce. What first custom cleats to feature real sauce Yeah, they're the first custom cleats to feature real saw real real real sauce Now I find that hard to believe There hasn't been a custom cleat before this that actually got a dribble dribble of some sort of sweet sauce on it

So this is uh, uh Continuing their season long partnership. If you don't like the word sauce I would skip ahead. You're getting here in a few times Continuing their season long partnership Buffalo Wild Wings and Ricky cornerback amod sauce gardener who notably did not allow a TD in three Years at Cincinnati. I mean come on This guy's a cornerback as a cornerback Oh, I was gonna say as a quarterback. That's a pretty bad statistic

What's up? We've been playing for three years. Is he still a rookie? He's teamed up that I think it was when he was in college He's teamed up with a claim footwear artist mosh To create their first custom cleats designed using sauce Sauce will wear the one-of-a-kind cleats on December 4th as part of the NFL's my cause my cleats program With proceeds from the online auction benefiting boys and girls club of america Cool. This is not this is mosh. What you want to see it? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, hold on Because I don't know I don't see it first

I could not pass up the opportunity to work alongside sauce and Buffalo Wild Wings to develop the first custom shoe with real sauce And even better It's his own Buffalo Wild Wings sauce sauce said celebrity artist mosh Mosh said the sauce sauce is what they've used I'm always looking to push the limits of what can be done with custom footwear And was challenged excited to make a cleat that has literal flavor and style

Yeah burns after you wear it burns the foot as you sweat in it while doing football plays Mosh is simple saucy design. It's not simple. You're going to see in a second. I don't know why they say I'm assuming it looks like a Crime scene blood splatter sort of situation This see I was imagining if I may like the old Reebok pumps with the basketball in the front Except it's just a bubble of sauce sauce through tubes. Oh, that's great. Like how it does the bane Bane does it, you know I could not pass up the oh we already did that it's sauce sauce Mosh's simple saucy design features sauce sauce

Mixed into the paint to create a custom look that drips with flavor cool and smells terrible and ants always always Many chain sauce bottles that hold real sauce and harken back to gardeners unique sauce chain Are attached to each cleat. The words are losing meaning sauce chain chain sauce for these shoes The client sauce did sauce for shoes. Anyway, it's bitcoin blockchain Let me see if I can find Just the perfect Yeah, here we go. So here's a picture of the sauce shoes. These uh, these fucking rule

Yeah, they're pretty good. It actually didn't take me very long to decide and I'm kind of the shoes guy Here, but um, these fucking kick ass actually Can you scribe them griffin since you're just a big fan? Sure imagine black shoes Yeah, okay. I'm with you so far imagine black shoes and they have a white sort of Nike logo. It's got a boys and girls club logo on the on the tongue of it Or rather the the the toe of it and in big letters Sauce is written also in white and then sort of superimposed over that it looks like somebody Sort of laid the shoes down on the ground and it took a big thing of gosh to describe the hue of this sauce

obviously Cheetos does you know the special sauce that kel makes in good burger? Yeah, um, it's the approximately that shade that yeah, I mean it's nicolodeon couch orange and they've just sort of dumped I would say about A cup and a half of it on each shoe and it's real sauce This is real paint with sauce sauce makes an undisclosed amount of salt We don't know the sauce to paint ratio. It could be quite low Right, but they kick ass. They look so good

Sorry Like when somebody mixes blood into paint to like so my to remember their grandpa or whatever something like yeah Let's take a picture of my grandpa. What are you guys talking about? I love to cover everything in sauce even my cleats said sauce gardener Mosh created an awesome design dripping with the custom sauce sauce that I launched with buffalo wild wings I can't wait to show them off and then auction them off for a good cause Yeah The custom cleats are the latest in a unique partnership moments between buffalo wild wings and sauce gardener They kicked off the season in september introducing the smoky sweet and spicy sauce sauce

That is available nationwide following the first ever signed with sauce autograph session where he signed memorabilia in sauce sauce at buffalo Wow Fuck man. I love this That's great. That's great. I wonder how that affects the resale value What hits me with this because we've done some weird Co branding sponsored episodes before this feels so much you more if you're brand The buffalo wild wings came to him. It's like, hey, you go by the name of sauce. We'd love to partner with you He's like, okay, but only if it becomes so absurd sure to come back around

I'll sign things with so what do you want me to do with sauce? You gotta put it in my shoes Maybe let's just sort of Hedge our bets here and increase our chance of getting one of these branding opportunities It would be helpful if we did have nicknames related to the Things that our advertisers typically are focused on so for instance I could be Griffin socks macaroy, but I think that was the name of the cat that the clintons had Is that right?

Sox macaroy sox macaroy This is griffin websites macaroy. Hey, what's up? It's me griffin stamps macaroy. Hi. I'm justin bugatti macaroy Yeah, just want to be aspirational. I want to be aspirational. I'm travis sleeps on piles of money macaroy Well, I know those are what we okay. Okay. Let's see something that we normally Okay, okay. I got it. Uh, I'm travis ships frozen in box macaroy Oh, that's good Only buffalo wild wings and sauce gardener could partner with an artist like mosh to create the first custom cleat designed with sauce that is a sentence

That is a sentence that is unknowable and unprovable In a vacuum. I don't think that but they are probably the only ones that would right I mean taking if they should have said This is we may or may not be the only ones capable of generating these Orange shoes, but we're certainly the first no one else has done it yet. So I think that that is proof enough This is uh, tristan maline vice president of brand management and innovation of buffalo wild wings who That's a cool job at this point. It's a fucking job throughout the season. We showed Everything really is better with sauce and sauce and our thrills

So it says Everything is really better with sauce and sauce and our thrills to support the great work of boys and girls clubs of america In its mission to help kids of teeds reach their full potential. Yes So that those are I I don't know if this auction is still going on We've got some Let's see. Tony gonzales cleats some richard. I mean, man. I just fucking googled sauce sauce shoes My google's gonna think that I'm having some sort of episode Sauce sauce shoes give me anything google

Let's do another question. Yeah, I'd love another question. Here we go I want to know if this fucking auction. I was just trying to see if the auction is still What if the three of us ended up being the only ones? Who bid on this thing like I'll just search sauce right like the word Google sauce didn't work Fuck sauce gardener Sauce gardener will tell you about the football player, but maybe not about his incredible shoes

They may not be up here yet There's a lot of other famous shoes a lot of famous shoes I could I could finally get elie manning's custom cleats Would you fuck bring those eyes and custom cleats that say team boomer on them? Oh, fuck All right Uh, here's another question I know you got out of the game a while ago, but you're the only ones I can ask I've been hired to watch a farm for three weeks to the end of the year

However, this farm has five horses and the one horse that is supposed to be the nice old horse hates my guts How do I win this or horse over that's from not horsing around? Yeah, I don't know I don't know this one Okay, we'll try a different one. Well, no, I just I don't know about I horses have changed a lot since we talked about them a lot. They still like apples Yeah, I don't I don't think so I'm so unplugged now from horse culture like I that might actually be kind of rude

If you're an apple like I guess you still like these it's like how we used to like when we were young It was like here's a bag of bread go feed these to the ducks But now we know that if you do that they die instantly I guess which is hard to believe that like we what we whiffed it on that That long yeah for a long time. So it's just like what we know about horse Physiology could be we could be looking at a completely different animal out there. Do horses like youtube videos? They like youtube videos because I got a lot of those on hand downloaded constantly all the time And let's also say this we can address this question without having to talk about our distinct lack of horse

knowledge But You're at a farm where there's five horses and one of them doesn't like you that means four horses do like you If I walk into a room and 80 of the people in that room like me Who am I kidding? That's insufficient For me Deep deep deep deep broken part of me, but I if it was five horses I think I could probably be okay with one of them being now you say that Griffin

But if the common opinion is that's the nicest horse on the farm It loves everybody, but not you that that means it's gonna be too busy for me Like I want I want I would rather have the nasty horse. It's like, oh, that's interesting. Little nasty doesn't usually Uh, you know, it's out of anybody's hand. That is by the way I I've learned uh when I went and did the uh the d&t in a castle There was a castle cat named poppet And I one day clicked my tongue and poppet came over and I pet Poppet and I told the front desk person about this and they said, oh my god

He never does that. That's amazing You're a ghost unfortunately 10 people I talked to about it who else in the state of the castle like oh He also does that for me and the front desk person told me the same thing Which is easy to leave this front desk person is just telling everybody he never does that which is Cool, you could focus less on the fact that it's a horse more of the fact that it's old So if you loudly say that the younger horses are lazy And weak Old people love that like and I'm assuming old horses do too. Like if you talk about how much harder it was

I know when my grandpa dan is around I'm always excited when I know About a business thing I could say Sure, that's good. I don't know give me an example of that. Travis, you be damn No, it sounds like fog horn like horn when I do it. Oh, okay. Well, hey, Justin. It's me grandpa. Damn Pretty good. That's pretty good. Tell me about business Well, I think we're gonna reincorporate

our small business Into what different what an slc Oh, like slc punk. Love that movie. You ever see that movie? I think it's kind of a bummer, but I get what you're saying. You know, they made a sequel called slc punk two punks not dead I'm in it. Wow. You're in it. Holy shit, grandpa. Damn. I have a big part Who who are you in slc punk two? I'm uh, I'm man on street number three. I don't know. And he says get out of here. You punk ass, bitch I thought you took the livid part

I kind of figured you were filling in for livid. No, I'd take it away from the master I'm fucking going through the list right here. Devin sawa. Yeah Machine gun kelly. I got so many. I got so many stories about working with devin on the set Yeah, you're in here right between devin sawa and machine gun kelly grandpa dan. Yeah, all three of us share the trailer And some babes. That's fucking crazy. Oh, I bet you've got some stories. Oh, we used to fucking party Oh, I've never heard you cuss before I like it. I fuck I'm a dirty birdie. I want to help more people. I'm not I'm not me. Justin Recently we had my work. I'll help you figure out the cloud grandpa dad. Oh, thank you

I got so many photos of devin sawa to upload I got we got dev. We got grandpa dad a um a uh One of those digital photo frames that work on internet I had this like ongoing thing where every time I see him he tells me it doesn't work And then I tell him that I'll come fix it and then the cycle begins anew With no action With no action to change these circumstances. Yeah

Uh, recently we had him a work crisis party at which we exchange our secret santa presents the spending limb of 20 dollars pretty loose Everyone goes over by a few dollars But my secret santa got me a thoughtful gift as well as 50 dollars and gift cards We barely know each other. She said she missed the memo on the spending limit We also don't make a lot of money here and she definitely makes less than me Do I keep the gift cards or return them? That's from many of my good in minnesota Huh, huh. Hmm. Yeah. Okay. Can I just say we have a mystery on this one to me What's that?

Well, even if they missed the memo on spending the limit They got a thoughtful gift and and 50 dollars in gift cards. Yeah, that's Unless the gift cards are for a place that they do not go Yeah, and they were just re-gifting. There's a re-gift. It's a re-gift of re-gifting They don't go to texas steakhouse, right? They don't go there. They're not allowed. They're not allowed to go to texas steakhouse That's the only thing that makes it because otherwise like why would you buy a thoughtful or why would you buy gift cards? And then a thoughtful present. Yeah, texas roadhouse. Sorry. Yeah, you When you I said it, I was like this sounds wrong, but maybe sounds wrong

Maybe then I remembered the entirety of the song. You remember the song. Yeah, sure This is the place for texas steaks. This is the place for killer reams Yeah, this is the place you've heard so much about so come on in and check it out texas roadhouse. This is the place I'd actually completely forgotten that until this moment. Thank you so much. And then they have a lot the verse It's like crunch on the nuts and put the nuts on the floor. We don't care what someone else was slipping them Don't people slip on the nuts? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. They do. It's a feature not a bug We love to watch them slip on the dirty nuts on the ground. What about what about nut allergies? Huge problem

Huge problem for us unresolved We have uh, we yes, we have cut off a large portion of the population who's not able to come here, but still please enjoy Her texas size steaks. God. We're losing so much money on these huge steaks It's so fucking big nobody eats all of them They cost 13 dollars and they're so big so big. Why didn't we say we'd make them texas size? We just don't ask where we get them We put a cow in a big oven and we charged 13 dollars for what comes out. What are we doing? We're all big. We're all big

We just order money from loans that we order food from Lone Star and then we put it on a different plate over here Please help us I don't we don't we didn't file a business license or anything. We just went in this big building We said this is a steak restaurant now. It's a chain now. No one said anything Um I've forgotten the question. I question it. Yeah, I think you just keep it or give it Yeah, I think you keep it nobody wants a gift regit likes giving back to them You've already accepted it. You can't tell this person that you've been agonizing over this for days

Yeah weeks, perhaps you just got to just use it just go to texas roadhouse Yeah, and use it if it's a gift or for a restaurant Offer to take them to dinner. That's really good. That's really good But could be considered or lunch. I I think lunch lunch is the safer play there. Yeah Lunch is the safer play or after dinner drinks If I was the sort of person that got lunch with people I would have hey with you Would you like to join me for a cocktail at texas roadhouse? The drinks are really irresponsibly big and you're not allowed to say over serving out loud

Like it's not even a thing there. They'll never cut you off. No matter how many people you eat You can drink as much as you want get totally blotto with your dad. Yeah That old place might say no rules, but we literally have no rules. Just right Logan came in here and he started barfing. He said I wouldn't love this at my roadhouse It's where Logan goes to really cut it's where it's where it's where dr. Ponderosa goes to really cut loose at a steak restaurant Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. We hope you have enjoyed yourself We know we've enjoyed having you here with us

It's always a delight and honor and I never want to lose sight of that. No, me neither Justin tell us about the new merch Yeah, bud. We got some new stuff at the shop macroemerge.com. There's a flame bright dice from Taz amnesty designed by uh, uh, ewolin And created in partnership with diehard dice There's a rudeness enamel pin based on our mackerel royale uh, gallivanting which again 10 of all merch proceeds this month will go to races Which promotes justice by providing free and low-cost

Legal service to underserved immigrant children families and refugees. That's all at mackerelroymerge.com Also, I'll let you guys know we got some uh, the leftover 20 rendezvous fancy takes lake two or days coming up Ticks are still available for those three scheduled shows uh, april 27th We're doing adventure zone with a brie ingar in uh, san jose April 28th, we're doing my brother my brother me in san jose april 29th We're doing denver my brother my brother me all existing tickets will be honored for the new dates Mask and proof of fulva exonation or negative covet test within 72 hours of event start is required also just a reminder, uh, i'm going to be at sketch fest on uh, february 3rd

uh doing some stuff with uh, paul and storm and jonathan colton and friends Uh, i'm also going to be on the joko cruise and i hope to see you all there Hey, we got a we got a graphic novel coming out and yeah like six weeks or so Uh, yeah, yeah, it comes out february 21st of this year. It's the 11th hour. It's it's one of my favorite chapters of all of Uh anything honestly, we've ever done in adventure zone You can go to the adventure zone comic dot com to pre-order and you can submit your receipt to bit dot ly Slash 11th hour pre-order to get a lenticular sticker featuring art from the book It's a great book and it helps us out so much when you pre-order it. So please think about doing that. Thank you

Do it. Do it. Thank you. Do it That's gonna do it. Justin. I'm sorry. No, Justin. Was that a reboot of starski and hunch reference Is it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a reference. I just did my head. I don't know why I've never I've never Kicked that flick man. Funny enough like it's funny flick. Can't believe they make a sequel. Can't believe there's no sequel How do we how does it in there? We need to settle this right now because I'm fucking tired of it gang I don't like this. Hey, Justin. Can you just do like a jack johnson quote or something? No, I it doesn't it can't be how about this sir

I want to surf the vibe of not being stressed out During our end of show run because I know that one of the three of us is going to have to be placed upon the altar To bomb so that we feel comfortable in terminating the episode. Yeah Yeah, you should be allowed at this point to have the strength of our convictions to just end it Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's the episode fuckers Enjoy silence for one week And break drink up the silence. We'll talk to you in a week My name is Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. Sit on it for seven fucking days for once

This is my brother, my brother, me, kids are dead square on the lips Ah It's better with you Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported