My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 647: Share the Holes

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

Listen. We can’t get into why, but our beef with ham is back on. You know the one. The thing where every so often we decide that ham is the worst thing in existence? Yeah, that whole deal. It’s back on. Fuck ham.Suggested talking points: The Quittin'est Guy in Hollywood, The Cranberry of Meats, Homework in the Microwave, Nasty Geocaches, Sarbbytical, All-Chicken No Crust Justin Foundation for Black Women’s Wellness: http://ffbww.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby Precious friendship Could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better with you

It's better it's better with you It's better it's better with you Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy I'm your middle-est brother Travis of McElroy. I'm your sweet baby brother Griffin Andrew McElroy. Hey guys What a time To be a basketball fan. Thank you LeBron James Just beat Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's All-time scoring record and my favorite thing about it. I didn't watch it, but I saw clips later. Why was it the gym?

I don't want to brag but They kept a camera Kareem was in the was in a stand. Oh, they made him watch They made him watch and the two I don't want to talk about LeBron James mindset because of course He's probably elated and like chasing that bliss I want to talk about two mindsets and that's the mindset of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and the mindset of the other team who's still trying to win a Basketball game as there's a big counter like really do it And they're like I would like him to not score points because we're trying to win a

Basketball game the blues had a home game where somebody on the other team was about to score his 500th goal and it's kind of what the whole game was about and it was like some of us are trying to enjoy the hockey contest Just let the guy do it. Just let him get one and then we can move on with it with the athleticism We could focus like he scored he broke it right with a three-pointer I'm like the whole game ground to a hole as everyone's like yeah, he did it And you know the other team is like I think was the Oklahoma Thunder was like hey, but It's like the game's not done yet, and we're actually pretty close. We can still win this thing Honestly, you're icing us a little bit right now

Mentum's on their side now and Kareem's face was great because the whole time he's like Like kind of smile like oh cool And you know and his head he's doing calculations of like but how many games that I play versus how many games he's played Can we get an asterisk in there? What I know of cream of duljabbar, which is close and intimate and personal You mean author of Sherlock Holmes books and my cross homes books Yes, cream of duljabbar This is the same cream of duljabbar that sold his championship rings

So he could give all the money to charity because he's like I don't want These are so big I start an airplane. I don't need this. Thank you. I'm fine guys Do you think I would have I don't watch basketball? I probably would have if I found out that Kareem Abdul-jabbar threw on the jersey of the opposing team and was like, okay Let's make it let's make it interesting now. We got to go one for one. You know what? I'm coming out of retirement We're gonna make this a race I'm gonna keep scoring points and then he'll have to come back and score some more points as soon as LeBron retire's creams coming back Oh, what a fart in the face. We are describing the plot of the Bernie Mac classic. Mr. 3000

This is our sportsiest fucking episode yet. This is this is wow. This is pretty wild so far What's hot in I mean normally I wouldn't but we're talking about any time I can talk about Veronica Mars co-producer Kareem Abdul-jabbar. I'm gonna do it a true Renaissance man Kareem Abdul-jabbar. Yeah, he wrote an episode. Did you know this? He wrote an episode of Veronica Mars. I Didn't know that no part and was a producer on Buffy the vampire slayer. Yeah It's all out there and meanwhile we're here doing our stupid Stupid, what are we gonna get? Yeah, I'm worried that somewhere out there There's like a 12 year old dreaming of podcast dreams

Who's gonna beat my record for most canceled or given up podcasts and I worked? Hard to get that number by yeah, my the cemetery of my podcast is vast and deep Some that sometimes I had to bury some of them on top of other ones cuz I ran out of room You will know Travis by the trail of pilots. I'm so worried. I'm so worried you have some podcast You've canceled more than once right? Yeah. Yeah, man Yeah, and you know what if I have to pick up and you're like no, I'll cancel them again if I have to you know I mean, I'm not giving up. I'll cancel this one if this puts me over the top. I'll cancel this one Yeah, no baby beats the old man

I'm the quittest guy in Hollywood and I won't stand for this of Brother podcast this is probably the longest right no brother. I don't think so. I think Hank I think Hank and John probably got No, we started before they did video shit. We can't step to that but dear John came later I think you can narrow the parameters Enough so that we'd start to get into records. Yeah Guys, what if what if this episode was just us Sports and shit talking other people in the in the biz and it would just be our most sort of aggressive Agro-crag episode today. Yeah, the segment is done though, right?

Five minutes and that's already the most we've ever talked about sports and then 55 minutes or just like and fuck that guy. Oh them Or whatever but the supper boil is happening this Sunday, isn't it always? Oh, yeah, that's that's a big one for me Think I think one of the wildest things like there's a lot of stuff that Would be hard to explain to visitor from another land Probably the weirdest thing that we do is that we the biggest sports event of the year But no one is allowed to say it by yeah, but no one is allowed to say the name of it That's wild. That would be very hard like why can't everyone calls it the Super Bowl, right? Yeah

It's just a thing that happens. Yes, so but you so you can say the name. No, no, no, no, you cannot Yeah, legally if you Give free advertisement to them. They get really mad at you. They hate it also J-Dog Do you think if aliens came to our planet? They would even take a beat to get to know us and our steeds or would they just start? Well Griffin most Sick comms about aliens have taught me that we're fascinating

They're man third rock from third rock from the Sun if that was a documentary Yeah, French Stewart would have come down in his Biopod and just started blasting. They are not gonna ask us about sports You don't think they come down and help us build like new wonders and they're not gonna teach us a Magic language that gives us prophetic visions. Oh, man. They're not they're just gonna come down and John Lithgow It's just gonna start fucking blasting Joseph Gordon-Levitt is gonna put a hole in my house with his giant rabies. He might do that anyways He may I've said some stuff about him. Yeah, even if he's not an alien he might be coming for you

Yeah, sure I think Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Elijah would have plenty of reason to team up together to stop Griffin McRoy I'm just saying like between the two of them one Griffin I feel like is always being complied to Elijah would and I imagine it vice versa He's probably getting that too and then day in and day out from his closest and most Renowned friend hearing it. Yeah, he hates hearing it man It's why Griffin had to move away from Austin cuz people got saying like didn't I just run into you yesterday And it's like no that was Elijah would and vice versa and then Joseph Gordon-Levitt. There's just I mean, there's vitriol there obviously

Yeah, obviously No, my I have a pretty long list of enemies The detectives would never solve my murder cuz it could be but you gave him all the clues No, I gave him too many clues for too many people This is too. This is actually to you can have too many clues. Oh And maybe it's a thing we're like 15 different people teamed up to all kill Griffin And it's like oh the clues are pointing us so many different ways Let's just call this one. Was there ever a Sherlock book what was did Karim Abdul-Jabbar's Sherlock book?

They have a like a criminal who just scattered clues hithering yawn about the crime scene as they ran out of it And then they went to Sherlock was like, haha, I see a cigarette, but it's like I don't think that's a real one There's 16 cigarette butts here. Fuck. How long was the guy here? Yes, hey juice. Yeah, would you like a question? Are you looking at sports? I would hmm No, I was curious what the name of Karim Abdul-Jabbar's Sherlock Holmes sample is it's a mycroft hoes. It's mycroft if I'm not mistaken. It's great It's great. It's his first adult novel. I love Karim. Has he written an adult bar? Has he written young adult novels?

No, he's written elderly adults They're just they're for old people only you won't get it. You won't get it only 1890s kids look at this My partner has been hinting to me increasingly that she would very much like for me to start making use of mood music To romance her it has been pretty straightforward picking out some romantic music for a playlist, but I have no smooth skills Pressure questions this how do I smoothly integrate this new music into a dinner date sometime raise my eyebrows seductively as I hit play Figure out a way to already have it playing when she walks the door slowly fade up the music as dinner progresses Yes from almost smooth as silk and Cincinnati, but you already got the answer slow very prolonged fade up To the point where like it starts from zero and over the course of 20 minutes gets to like 50%

Like there's gonna be multiple like are you hearing that like do you hear like they're wandering around the house looking for Where the sound is coming from minutes four through eight are gonna be Confusing because it'll only dogs will be able to hear it at that volume correctly Just enjoy your spaghetti carbonara If don't worry about it if I had if I attempted This or any similar maneuver at this point. I feel like I would need to hire an intimacy coordinator To make sure Yeah, it would just be so out of left field you attempting to use romantic music that

Yeah, I think uh a a dj would be Great for this someone who could kind of take the work off the ambiance work off my plate So I can so I can enjoy it too. You know what I mean an intimacy dj You know what I mean and listen. It's not just about remixing the music Sometimes it's like Hey, hey, it's me raise your hand about three inches. That's it. That's better Okay, so hold on my intimacy dj wouldn't be giving me step by step Sexual technique. This is we're talking about having you're not talking about an intimacy coordinator

You're talking about like you see on a film free a pre pre production I'm saying maybe it's half and half, you know, you get one is the music. Yeah, but then it's also like Hey, have you tried ear nibbling? Oh No, even that is not necessary for my guy. I have I have he doesn't do that. He's never even tried He's been a professional since day one. I find starting music of any sort To be a profoundly vulnerable moment That even when it's just my family there, I feel like it's so

It's got to be so right on to just say like You because you always end up yelling like alexa turn on pleasant dinner for friends Play dinner for friends jazzy Yeah, play a classical italian dinner music. No, no elect no alexa stop alexa stop It's so vulnerable. I feel so it is so revealing to just start it. Is this right? Is this the right mood? I don't know. It's I just want to say good on your question asker for already having the songs picked out Yeah, because that for me would be the biggest stumbling block

If I figure that out the music would never stop playing in my home I would I would do it and then I would cover up the microphone on any device So no one could ever stop it playing because I'd be like, no, I'm bragging. I figured it out It we're always romantic now I just picking any song for any situation. I don't think I have the gumption to do it anymore I don't think we found a playlist that we listened to One of griffin's playlist that he put on the first time We started signing posters before a show

And we've played the exact same playlist Every single time except for when carly's got a new album out and then usually we'll bop to that For the around the release window of it and then it's about right back to grill and time Or if it's if it's a dadland show and then it's just like all 70s and 80s dad rock boy I don't know man. I've never done that guys. I this is too. We don't normally get so personal on this I've never done this in my entire life. I would have no way No way

Of answering this question in an effective manner You could do a silent disco kind of mood setting where you have headphones on and you're listening to it And your partner's like, what are you listening to and you're like put these on Put these on and come with me on this quiet journey And then if anyone walks in the room like why are they staring at each other so sexily? What's harry is this complete silence as they eat their garlic bread? Yeah, the sexiest food garlic bread. It's important leave it on during copulation The headphones

Yeah, you're gonna need some sweat bands to hold them in place and to catch the sweat because it's gonna be sweaty Hey, it's me a wolf man. Get out of there. Have some fun having sex in there. Let's get out of here wolf man We didn't cut down on whispering sweet. Nothing's in the water. Yeah, well, it's like I said it looks bit and weird It looks bit and weird Um I I can't do this. I couldn't do that. I couldn't do this. Happy valentine's day. Happy valentine's day. I couldn't do this Take it from us. Take it from the mackerel brothers. Keep it chased

Keep it pure. Keep it secret. Keep it safe Sometimes it surprises me that we have six kids amongst the three of us. Yeah, like that statistically based on how we speak about intimacy Statistically unlikely possible. Yeah I have a wizard and he's been banging down my kicking down my fucking door You have a wizard. I have a wizard He's been kicking down the door of the room that he lives in and he likes it in there Like I've recreated his magic environment pretty good. Why is this taking it down? He wants out. There's toad stools and stuff in there though and like his like parts of his tower and some of his brooms

So like he's happy Doesn't sound like you I saw some chicken nuggets in there sometimes they're frozen still but he has fire magic Anyway, this is how to um get revenge on your siblings. Oh boy. Oh huh Weird that you would bring this to us griffin and this these are gonna prank you guys pretty bad So I want you to be ready. I mean april fool's day is just around the corner and when it gets here I'm gonna fuck you guys up. Whoa. It's great. Oh methods of getting revenge Okay, go ahead griffin

Revenge us But yeah, so the first one Maybe we could also sort of give these each a rating of how bad they would Actually be for us in our current modern lives too bad. Just you you guys Bad in one way so I know bad just in any way that a thing could make your life worse Oh, okay, like this first one set their clock four or five hours ahead Four or five hours hours. That's a war crime. That's a bad one. That's rough stuff Also, I I would argue for some people not that effective though because like I

Thanks to my human alarm clocks in the form of my children I get up at like 645 to 7 a.m. Every day anyways, like that's not an option I wish I could sleep in I can't sleep in anymore. Yeah It's the worst so much purpose though that this is the next one and this one Well, it also is impractical because Like who's relying on like even digital clocks that like I have a phone You can't fix that. You can't change that shit

Can you my wife uses an alarm clock from the mid 1990s? Oh boy that she has kept Since middle school It is sounds like a hell being drowned in a toilet and it's the worst thing that happens to me Whenever it goes off it also when the power goes out The hour button doesn't work. So you have to push it really really hard And she won't let me get rid of the clock. So yeah, it would be a pretty big deal if the clock got changed It would be the worst thing that could happen. Well, yeah, I don't know that everybody has a big a big bin-esque

sort of Uh atomic clock that they live their lives by in the way that you all do. Yeah So i'm gonna say seven Okay, uh number two torment them with their least favorite food Make sure to hand out the biggest portion of that dish onto their plate when it's being served Huh, it's actually pretty mean because I would feel really guilty about throwing away a big pile of potato salad Yes, but you think the exact right food But also i'm an adult

So like that's the like I could not eat that like there's no one above me To say like you can't leave the table until you finish that Like yeah, but why did you get so much? That's what that does a question on everybody's mind Why did you ask for so much potato salad? Okay now if you amend this to in front of like their celebrity hero Or like a boss now Now you've got me but I might just go to dinner at griffin's house and he's like

Here's a huge scoop of I like potato salad. I'm trying to think of something else Gross why yucky grody? It's good But if you oh potato salad in front of your crush chicken caught on blue. I do not care for it Would you eat potato salad in front of your crush and grody? Yeah, I would I would eat potato salad in such a way that they'd be impressed with how much potato salad I could if you decide the day your facial hair is longer than one inch You should have to say I've sworn you should have to legally swear off potato salad

Now you know mayonnaise in your beard period Unacceptable the end you the end no more mayonnaise for you. It's out You can ask Teresa We've been together 13 years now and I have perfected the art of only taking bites when she's not looking at me um to the point where uh like uh some kind of forest Animal if I catch her looking at me while I'm mid-bite. I just freeze until she looks away Um, so I'm not worried about that. Okay. I'm worried about like John Cena being like Why'd you take so much chicken caught on blue and I'd be like I I didn't John I didn't

My brother put it on my plate seems like extreme rated e for extremely your shit You don't like chicken caught on blue. Oh man. Don't care for it. It's a ham in there Combining a ham with your chicken silly can we cut it out with ham? Thank you. Thank you. It's the cranberry of meat and I stand by that Every three years We get intensely anti-ham for for one reason or another Vegetarians are right about ham. Yeah. Yeah, that's the only one um

Hey Try taking their things and hiding them Put their pencil case under the couch or their homework in the microwave not my pencil case Uh, try taking only one thing every day something that they won't notice right away like a pin Hide it in your room to make sure it blends in with your stuff or simply hide it in your closet I keep making the things you I swear to god someone could be doing this with washcloths in my house And I I I still would have no idea nail clippers nail clippers. Where do they go? What do we do? Thank you I'll tell you the beauty of this though. Is that someone with ADHD?

I feel like I've become uh immunized to this And like if I'm like I can't find it. Well, what are you gonna do? Like I've just grown accustomed to not knowing where things are anyway, you're not gonna cling too close You'll smother the nail clippers. Yeah, it's fine. They'll come back to me when they're ready like homework bound When you see them you gotta snatch them up like I don't need a trim right now I'm gonna go for it anyway. Yes. I don't know what I'll find these again You collect them all together in one place and then slowly they escape one by one until eventually you start flipping Couch cushions and stuff. It's fine. It's just how life goes

Like I know how many I've bought through my lifetime. Yeah, probably in the like over 20. I need one right Um glue their deodorant closed What by some super glue that is invisible once it dries and glues all their deodorants closed That's so mean if you want to wait, hold on. Hold on. If you want to be really mean if you want to be Really fucking mean You can glue all their soaps in the shower closed too. This will confuse them and really frustrated Close my so close that soap. Did they this person said deodorants plural do people have different Like different deodorants for different occasion for different moods

I usually always have two Giant old spice pure sports rocking one one on the countertop one in reserve, right? Yeah, a cartridge a cartridge At my side in case I need to get get back in and finish finish my stink fight Once again beauty of adhd those I got I buy them like five at a time online I'm not going to the store for this anywhere. Who has the time and then They're all going so the chance that one of you could find all my deodorants and glue all of them closed Zero percent. He's got deodorants in places. You'd never even think to look never even know. What's that?

Why is one in the recording booth with me? Don't worry about it. We own three suitcases Two of which none of which are in use right now, but I do know that two of which definitely have deodorant Just floating around in their various pouches. I do that with preparation h. Okay You're very prepared age. I don't want to say to anybody like I have to leave for this I have to go to cvs and they're like why and I say preparation h Or I don't want to go to the concierge of the hotel and say do you have preparation h because they don't know why Yeah, they'll know why Justin

Yeah, they'll know why Juseph I'm I'm also nervous about being attacked by a bear, but I don't carry bear mace around with me I don't pack bear mace in every suitcase. That is foolish. That is your uh, yeah, you're asking for trouble You can use preparation h to reduce the The bags underneath. Yeah, but nobody does Justin. I do Just because it's out anyway. I figure I might as well my confidence is low What with the hemorrhoids at all, but doesn't you hate Justin? This is important. You do the eye application first, right? What even more important

You don't really mean that put a preparation h on your face makes your confidence better, right? That was like a word typo that you did where you said the wrong words a little bit sparkle Uh, a little bit of extra tighten it. Yeah, just tighten Tighten it up Put some tape on the nozzle of their sink leave a small gap toward the front when they go to wash their hands The water will spray them right in the face. This is a simple effective prank. I have two children Uh, and everything in my house is wet all the time. Good luck You can't get me every room in my house

That is able to distribute water has water all over it already. Good luck My kids if I if ice cubes fall out of the thing on the floor just leave them. Yeah, they're gone It's wet. It'll dry. Yeah, I have two dogs. I've got a cat that drools when she's happy I got two kids and I'm a big old shrek oaf the chance that I would even notice That something was wet that wasn't wet before and care. No, no way Sometimes I sit down on my couch and there's a wet spot and I'm like, what are you gonna do? What are you constantly constantly constantly? Especially if they're not if it's my like evening shorts

And not my day jeans. Oh, yeah, if I get my day jeans wet and it's not close to quitting time, you know That's an issue. Yeah, then I'm gonna have to switch it up to my auxiliary jeans Yeah, uh, that that is something I will address Got to keep your work wear osha compliant. Yeah, it's so important. Justin, I've stayed with you many times There's always my favorite time of the day when five o'clock rolls around And your shoes get up and pull that old whistle and all your clothes just like oh quitting time And they all line up at clock out and then they pass by the nighttime shorts and they're like, oh It's a rough one today. It's a rough one. It's a rough one someone glued all his deodorants closed

It's been uh, you don't want to be draped on this guy right now. It's tough Um spray whipped cream in their hands while they're sleeping. That's here's the thing about this this prank It's never worked once in the history of mankind But there is something to waking up and my hand has whipped cream in it. That sucks Oh, that sucks enough It doesn't have to be on my face for me to not be stoked about there being whipped cream on my body Yeah, it's an issue regardless. It's a real it's an issue no matter where it is if it's not in the can or On food would you rather it be shaving cream or whipped cream think about it before your answer?

Please don't just play around shaving cream. Okay Yeah, no, yeah, shaving cream is supposed to be topically applied Uh, yeah, I'm well see if it's whipped cream once again I've uh protected myself by having two dogs and I feel like by the time I woke up It's gone anyways if it's whipped cream Yeah, I'm fine Um, I'm protected from all this revenge. I didn't even know it. Yeah, come at me. You're unrevengeable Change their auto correct and microsoft word. That's a pretty good one or change the wallpaper on their computer

Do this after they go to bed before they head to school in the morning Please don't do that because I have a really cool RRR Like desktop background and if that's a good idea. I need to do that. Yeah, dude It rules it's the two of them like shaking hands from the ropes with like fire and ice behind it Please do not change that because it's the only thing gets me through some mornings do you guys Do you guys really have like desktop backgrounds with like lots of stuff? Mine? No, mine's just a simple dark blue. I never really thought about it. I have so many fucking

little doodads and gizmos floating around on that user interface at all times. I cannot have Giant strong men like sailing through the air on a tiger like because then I'll be that the amount of razzle dazzle sort of Mind confusion that would take place on that desktop Gives me chills. See my computer desktop is an rr rr conveyance device that has some other Oh, okay Yeah, that makes sense actually it's it's it's that I think there's other features to it that I've been meaning to check out But who has the time rr is three hours long, you know, that's a big commitment Uh, this is the last one I want to read. It's filled their backpack with underwear at this point

I would love that doing me a Yeah, man, huge solid. Yeah, I already have it. Yeah, not need it I pack for any trip like I'm planning to shit my pants every day so That means that would mean the world to me. Thank you very much There is I'd tell you this part of being a parent going through body training Um, I don't go anywhere without some form of someone's underpants in my bag at any time I have dead drop. I left a lot of these dead drops behind in austin. There's there's underwears of all kinds hidden in little

Uh, little film capsules Just a little little just little just geocache them around I don't see geocaches Any more griff? Uh, no, let's go to the money zone, please. All right, right this way. Take my hand second star on the right straight until morning Oh, wait, this is neverland Hey griffin yo, how's your uh stitch Oh, baby. It's uh, it's coming so correct. I live in a different like

Parallel a different longitude now. Yeah, and the weather's different and so I had to get rid of all my clothes Um, it was just a lot of sort of tank tops before but now I have to survive the cold months and stitch fix has been Instrumental in that survival effort. I gotta check that out because my stitch. He's a wild little guy He's blue and he bounces around everywhere and he's a real wild guy. I gotta get that fixed Yeah, I we love this blue dog and we love stitch fix Uh, because it's the easy way to get the clothes that fit you without having to endlessly scroll through options Shopping for clothes traditionally the worst thing But stitch fix has really streamlined and perfected the whole process

You just answer a few questions about where you typically get your clothes from what you like to wear your sizes your price range Uh, and then they'll find your perfect fit and send you clothes handpicked just for you I'm gonna start um a competing company But just in the name and my company if you have a stitch, I'll neuter him I will fix that stitch Yeah, just like that one scene and lilo and stitch it's that's messed up by the way when they graphically show The neutering graphically show and then he's like jokes on you. I've got two penises Yeah, the second penis comes out. Yeah, I don't I don't think I know how neutering works

That's a funny movie right now and stitch fix wanted us to say all this stuff. Well, these are all copy points Um stitch fix is offering our my listeners $20 off their first fix at stitch fix.com slash my brother That's stitch fix.com slash my brother for $20 off today All of my listeners all you girffin nuts stitch fix.com slash my brother I'm jordan morris and i'm jesse thorn on jordan jesse go we make pure delightful nonsense We rope in awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We got stupid with judy greer My friend molly and I call it having the space weirds pat noz won't could I get a balrog burger and some aragorn fries? Thank you and kumail non giani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use come get stupider with us

At maximum fun.org look your podcast apps already open just pull it out give jordan jesse go try being smart is hard Be dumb instead Hi, i'm hal loveland and i'm martin gagliardi and we're the hosts So we got this with mark and hal the weekly show where we settle the debates that are most important to you That's right. What arguments are you and your friends having that you just can't settle apples or oranges marvel or dc fork versus spoon chocolate or vanilla best fagal What's the best disney song we got this with mark and hal every week on maximum fun We do the arguing so you don't have to oh all answers are final for all people for all time

Justin you want to do another question? Yeah, I'd love to do the i recently started a new job one morning I went to the kitchen area to fill out my water bottle and noticed that someone had brought donut holes I reached into the bag and popped it in my mouth While I was chewing the owner of said donuts came in the room made a gesture of as if to say oh, that's where I left those And took the bag and left I think they noticed the bag was open and that I was visibly chewing brothers Should I apologize to this person? Should I assume they didn't see me? I've seen them several times since this happened and have adjusted my body to the amount of water

Since this happened and have adjusted my path to avoid walking past them. That's from donut hijacker if you Buy a bunch of two doughnut two tomatoes. Nope. Sorry. Oh not that one if you buy a big bag of donut holes

Yeah exclusively for your own personal consumption You're either a monster or a dipshit. What's whoa? What's the point of donut holes? Well, they fill in the donut. I'm asking You what's the point you put them in a donut and then it's a complete Circle You're not doing that. Are you traveling? No, you don't have to do no But that's one thing you could do with them if you want because sometimes you want a donut

But who has the time? Right to commit to a whole donut. That's where donut holes come in It's a bargain you're making with yourself, right? Like I listen. We can't eat a whole donut right now And I know you really want to so this is the best I could do for you. I hope it's okay This will satiate the dark passenger within you, right? And then you eat six of them and you're like, I bet if we added those all up that would be a donut Oh, no, I would also say a question after they Left food no matter how long they did in a break room

Fair game Like it's sitting on a table, especially when it is nature's most shareable food Donut holes. Yeah. Yeah, they're designed to be They're designed to be shared. Yes. This wasn't a labeled friends This wasn't a labeled Tupperware container. This is a bag of shareable donut holes left In the place where it is just understood that shared food is to be left They fucked up. They should apologize to you for taking away your donut holes. Yeah, you wanted more of them

Hey, you want hey? Hey, I want more of them. Hey, whoa Whoa Hey Hey, I want more of them. There was an unspoken promise between us here. You're breaking it Why did you leave the donut holes if not for me to enjoy? We're gonna break it. You should be in the break room though to be fair. That is fair That is where promises should be broken and hearts

I think you could bring the fight to them. I think you walk up to their desk and say What were you fucking thinking? Yeah, what were you thinking when you bought donut holes? For your own personal consumption And then also when you took them from and then you left them sitting around You didn't even keep it a secret shame in like a drawer at your desk Yeah, you left them and then we're like, you know what on second thought they're all for me Did you have a tough day? Do you want to talk about it? Share the holes and we'll sit down and

Share the holes Tuff in the bag 20 sudden C share the holes Tuff in the bag tough in the bag That should be the earthy with some open up and share the holes Oh, yeah, we crushed that one Yeah, we have we helped with that one. It's not your fault. It's not your fucking fault, man If they try to go to somebody to complain if they try to slander your good name

By going to other people and saying like, yeah, they ate my fucking donut holes The person they are telling that story to say like, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what? You got your own personal bag of donut holes just for you and you left them in the break room They came to your desk and took it. No, I had left them in the break room unattended Sitting on the table and you didn't share them. Well, no, I no you're fired I don't think we should hang out anymore Derek You bait you bait card him you did a bait car essentially um

The bird the other person's a bad guy. That's what the version is. You're the good guy more of these questions, please More where we can vilify a stranger. Yeah and tell you to gas you up from room I Want a munch What too munch Just a certain creature of the night that I would love to hear from right now. Oh Okay, about what? Just about donuts. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't know how they should be called donut plugs

Because the hole is already in the box. Yes, or just nut plugs to make it shorter and easier to say. No, um All right 27c share the nut plugs Do you guys want to hear? Okay, this is this week's munch squad is interactive. Oh, do you want to hear about? uh national bros day do you want to hear about the oldest person that works at our bees or The conchisius blockbuster returns. No, man. I gotta hear about the oldest arby's employee. Yeah, I'm kidding me Okay, so they were there when roast beef was invented. I want to give a huge

Congratulations to arby's team member at restaurant 7 1 1 5 in indianapolis one of the nazi franker She's lived there her whole life and she remembers when arby's came to town Oh, she didn't live at the arby's the whole time. Okay. No, no, no I retired a year before they built the arby's at edgewood and madison After it was built and someone I knew called and said they were looking for someone to work through lunch I went in for an interview and here I am 21 years later. Fuck. Yeah for josh johnson arby's regional director of operations. Nancy's been nothing short of an inspiration Nancy is one of our longest tenured team members. She joined us. She has tenure

Yes, you can't fire her. She does whatever she wants Wow, what a gift. No, she has to spend 30 hours a month doing arby's research. So I'm going on sarbetical medical from arby's a sarbetical Oh, man for six months. Um She marked an incredible milestone in december her 93rd birthday And uh to celebrate don't make her work at arby's anymore. No, she likes it at arby's don't get it twisted The arby's team at her restaurant invited co-workers friends and regulars to join a surprise party

Honoring nancy's positive attitude and dedication. Hey, justin. Yeah, no matter how much nancy likes working at arby's There's an amount of money that she would like to have more than working at arby's I don't know what that amount is But I guarantee That there's a number that exists where I said hey 93 year old woman How about instead I give you a large amount of money and you don't have to work at arby's anymore That's stupid. She likes to work at arby's part of the job. It's the best part really the people Uh, she says my favorite moments have been with the wonderful guests who come in and talk with me

I'm also blessed with a great boss and co-workers who are always so kind to me. Hey, but thank you to her co-workers Though I can imagine that is uh, there there are a few people That would stoop to the level of being mean to the 93 year old woman that works at arby's with you I think that that would I think everybody would have a tender touch with with nancy. I did want to just Real quick. Hey steve. Yeah, what's up? Um, nancy's till is short 150 dollars again. It's like the 10th day in a row Should we say something? What? No. No. What are you a fucking asshole? You can't say anything. She's tenured Uh, no, I do want to I I know that we're not doing our video thing right now

But I just I just you guys have to maybe we'll like I don't even know full tweak share some nancy pics. No, okay, so Here is this image this first image. I'm sending you you see nancy Um There and it's she's like behind the counter She looks like a sweet lady and then there's an image of her with someone from inspire brands Holding a cake for her. Okay, but that's not why I'm showing you this image why I'm showing this image is

That they have used a bit of this as the header for this official Arby's post this is the official image at the top And I need you guys to just check out that photoshop work over there. That's great. She is so deeply angular they spent 14 seconds creating this banner it's wild like they use the magic lasso and relied on it very heavily You can't you you will not believe if you go on over to the Arby's Inspire brand page. Anyway, that's not a mean story

It's just a nice one about nancy who's having a great time working there So real quick this the interactive thing is I'm going to tell you about the other things anyway Just real quick. I signed bros has launched the ultimate bros box And for us it just felt like we gotta you know what I mean? Because february is a month dedicated to love and friendships everyone wants a lifelong companion But sue says it has to be your other half. Maybe it's a bagel Enter the bros if valentine's day and gallentine's day aren't the aren't the moves this month I signed brothers bagels declares february 15th as national bros day. I'm not sure

That you're allowed to do that I signed brothers bagels. I'm not sure you could just declare it national bros day If I wouldn't say you can't Yeah, I wouldn't turn to the einstein bagel bro bagel boys those einstein bagel boys are at it again I would not lean on them to tell me when bros day is I would I would I don't know probably just go to a A paintball course and just see when the bros are particularly fired up and that's the day Oh, see I was gonna ask hank and john Yeah

If you're wondering what national bros day is it just says it's an official day dedicated to the bros squad It's not official. You can't just throw the word official out No travis macaroy. It's an official day for the bros squad Official by what standards just official day for the bros squad Travis I can't argue with that. You know, you've convinced me. I'm different Justin, you don't think I've tried that for 39 years Hey, it's the crunchesius blockbuster real quick. I do want to tell you about the crunchesius blockbuster of the year I remember when the crunchesius blockbuster came to town and we'd go there and get the crunchesius movies and the crunchesius in 64 games

Loved it. The new year just became happier as kfc announced the return of cheetah What? Yeah, you're on me, right? No, I think I was actually thrown by the fact that it's february Now you can't mute. Well, this is a older press release. I didn't do it earlier. So I'm doing it now the cult fave kfc cheetah Is back with a bang promising to be the biggest blockbuster of 2023 Bringing together the two things that foodies love most chicken and cheese. Yeah

You can't just say whatever you want You know, you can't just say whatever you want. No, you can't kfc cheetah is sure to leave you drooling The problem is also mama mia juice. I don't know if you were planning on sending us a picture of this bad boy But I could not resist googling Yeah, holy Fucking that's a rough ride my fella. That's a fucking rough ride on the eyes The soul don't describe it because I'm going to describe

The product is all set to make a comeback on popular demand After it received immense love by kfc fans Over the years thanks to its flavorful taste and the shockingly delicious crust What crust you ask? Well, it's kfc's crispy chicken on top and more crispy chicken at the bottom that has made it a fan favorite Now, is there any ham involved because they're starting to creep into my least favorite food They're inching closer and yeah, this image I found is from 2017 There's a non-zero. Nah, I would say 100 chance. We have done

An a much squad on cheetah before I think I remembered it, but it is possible I would but I think we all probably pushed it out of our minds as a sort of like coping mechanism The all chicken no crust cheetah And all by the way, I want you guys to start describing me as the all chicken no crust Justin If you haven't you got it it consists of two zinger filets of crispy chicken I think this is written by an ai is what i'm getting at is what i'm getting as I think is written by an artificial intelligence I can't believe a human put this together the all chicken colonel sanis jr. Yes, son Have we maybe invented too many words?

In our like corporate speak for it to still be understandable to a human I don't know what you mean. It's just two zinger patties on a cheetah. Oh god It's a smattering of uh, there's so there's two zinger filets and zinger filets Is it capitalized? I do want to say they're just calling them, you know, they're zinger filets of crispy chicken Top with the lektual pizza sauce molten cheese a smattering of onions and mixed peppers finished with you guessed it an herb sprinkle Trust us this irresistible crispiness and cheesy pull will leave you wanting more

starting at Justin uh, what is I i'm trying to very quickly deduce what the inr currency is Singapore Is this singapore god they get all the best stuff the inr cheats will be available wrong What is it? What's the inr? uh, indian rupee

Okay, so this okay. All right. So this is starting at two hundred and nine nine rupees cheats is going to be available across all 600 plus kfc restaurants for now january It could also be the international normalized ratio that you use to determine if you have a blood clotting problem Yes, that's okay. That's possible. Yeah The delectable cheats comes with kfc's 5x safety promise of sanitization screening social distancing and contactless service with vaccinated teams What that's the promise that you get at india kfc, which that sounds pretty good to me a good one sounds pretty good

All surfaces and frequently touched areas of the restaurant are regularly sanitized and you'll fucking need it after you Jam one of these things in your in your cram hole if i'm gonna cram one of these big boys I'm gonna need to be sanitized after like me personally. I'm gonna need there to be like a chamber. I walk into That just kind of like completely sprays me down Um, you can also get your favorite cheats cheats in a completely contactless and safe manner Yes, which they don't say anonymous But it does feel that way, doesn't it deliver to you in a plain cardboard box your neighbors will never know They'll never guess they will they'll see something dripping. Is that marinara sauce and chick? Oh, oh, oh

Oh, no, that's a chizza That's chizza. That's chizza. Call them. So what are you waiting for chizza? Chizza the crispy cheesy delight is back at a kfc near you order now and feel the cheesy pull. No I said Order now, but I don't want to feel the pull of cheese. I'm going to online dot kfc Dot co dot in yeah order Get one to be delivered by the time this chizza reached your door It would have become sentient. That's exactly what I was gonna say. It would have a you would open the box

A face would be there papa. Thank you for releasing me from the bug papa. It is me chizza I love you. I love you. Do not eat me papa. I would never um, so that is what's going on It sounds much better over there. Honestly, um, I mean they got cheats They got chizza. How bad could it be baby? That's my favorite scene in rr Where the two of them get together and eat chizza. Yeah, love it Uh, as friends as pros they they got a bucket over there. That's uh, uh Popcorn chicken and pasta. Oh, yeah, Maggie Maggie matcha in my ma ggi. I got this food looks so good

I gotta get over there guys. Yeah gotta get over there cheats cheats of capital of the world You know what people listening cheats is it says here You know what people listening gotta do What they got a pre-order the taz 11th hour graphic novel because it comes out next week February 21st And we're gonna have a live and virtual event on february 21st at 8 p.m. Eastern time to celebrate the release with special guest abria engar mega ran gape hicks janet varni gene gray and christina ariel And we're gonna have event exclusive signed copies available from brook line book smith and left bank books

You can go to bit.ly slash taz g in live 2023 for more info and purchase the event exclusive signed book speaking of live and virtual We've got my brother my brother and me live in virtual. It's our first 20 son and sea show March 17th at 9 p.m. Eastern time tickets are only 10 dollars And we got saw bones opening and video on demand will be available for purchase for two weeks after the event Get those tickets at bit.ly slash mb mb am virtual If we're gonna send justin to deli on

Uh on a chiseled quest We're gonna need some money to death. Yeah, we're gonna need money to make that happen and we're trusting you guys Please please. Um, hey, thanks to montane For the use of our theme song. My life is better with you It's uh, it's it's like the it fills you your heart up It's like the it's the I was gonna say it's the cheats of music, but that's actually would be a bad thing I think uh, I've come up with if we are ready. I've come up with the uh potential show inder Uh specific here to 20 son and sea sent me through palpitations. Can you meet you mean episode inder trough? Yep?

Yep, that's what I meant you um, so I thought we could uh go to one of the patron saints Of 20 son and sea for like an inspirational quote That we could maybe spend some time Just really uh meditating on Until next week's episode. Oh, okay. That's great. That could be good. That could be good depending on who it is Your this one comes from jack johnson Oh, okay. Yeah, that could be good. We could even put like beachy sounds

Behind it. Oh, yeah, can we get some beachy sounds in here? Okay, great. Nice. So horizon has been defeated by the pirates of the new age jack johnson So that one doesn't no, no you taught griffin If you talk about it It's not an ending. Do you understand? It just has to be I think maybe it was the delay it felt like a challenge to me and you want to try it again. Okay, give me beach sounds again The horizon has been defeated by the pirates of the new age

Jack johnson My name is just a macaroy. I'm Travis McRoy. It sounds like snow crash. It sounds like it's anneal stevens You gotta say your name Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother. My brother meet kissy mad square on the lips Better with you It's better with you Maximum fun org comedy and culture artists owned audience supported