My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 649: Truly Random Nudity

Episode Date: February 27, 2023

Brace yourselves, we have a very, very exclusive guest on this week. He doesn't know what malls are, nor crispy mac & cheese, nor his own birth year. But he does love a good chocolate custard drink and casually giving Travis an existential crisis.Suggested talking points: Joking for Two, Dead Man with a Boner, Peaky Blinders: The New Class, Hat Waldenbooks, Singles Awareness Day, What is Acting but a LieFoundation for Black Women’s Wellness: http://ffbww.org/ 

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists. He's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby Precious friendship Could have never seen what was coming for me hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels It's better it's better with you

It's better it's better with you It's better it's better with you Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother and me and advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. I feel so fortunate So happy to be here with you two you two scamps. I'm your middle is brother Travis McElroy. Oh, why? Griffin I'm sorry guys Did coach not tell you did you talk to coach did coach talk to you?

No, I didn't get no I didn't get pulled aside Yeah, I made some late roster changes. I'm on I'm on injured reserve. I'm on scratch I'm on the scratch list today. So I can't what happened. I can't play I I Ate to you know how I like to carboload after a game Yeah, and that's a weird thing that I I do and you guys give me a lot of guff for it I yeah, yeah, I ate too many jelly beans and corn chips last night for a special snack and So you decided to carboload on jelly beans Yeah, and so it now my diamond concussion protocol

So coach scratch me for this one. So I'm gonna be over here cheering you guys on The whole time and talking shit to the other guys. Yeah. Yeah, who's he subbing in? Yeah, thank you Travis. Yeah, it's the very obvious question. Yeah, cuz I don't see anything else Yeah, so it is supposed to be Franklin, but he's late. Oh Man late Franklin is always late. That's why we call him that late Franklin does run behind sometimes and this is one of those times But I'm I can't I can't joke or I'll get fined Why didn't he call in early Steve early Steve would have been a way better call. He died. Yeah. Oh, so now he's late

Yeah, he's the late early Steve. Yes, that's we have a lot that I did just there. Yeah, I just got an email from the commissioner. Hold on. Ah fuck. We need you to fight the Joker That was really funny Trav Great joke Travis. Thank you griffin see that's what I can I can do that But I just make some gatorade in a big jug for everybody I can get that ready Travis had just come off his months long. I are apparently I know fill the gap Left by I know people were really excited to see what we did out there together to get the you know get that line repaired, but yeah Well, I'll joke for two of us

Okay, I'll make out the difference Justin if you want to take it easy. I could do two and a half That's better than what we usually put out I think the the extra half is what you the listener bring to it with your own imagination Why didn't say no, you can't sit on the bench. I still need you to bring 50% I'm saying I okay. I'll deliver 250% jokes I Can text you guys I can text you guys jokes to say Yeah, I it's just you do that for me now

Can I do that for you? Yeah, I've got my phone in my hand if you want to text me Wanted to do that that yeah, you guys are I've always um I've always like stories you hear like people who know SNL people. Yeah, like yeah I just text them a joke when I think about it then they use it on update I wish I knew somebody that could text because I get some real good ones and they aren't all appropriate for this this venue the setting and I would love to be able to text like punky or Yeah Collin or Michael or

Bowen, you know any of the crew yeah You didn't go with Kenan a safe bet Kenan. He's been on the show now for 36 years I think I wish I could get Kenan Kenan is a dream guest from my brother my brother me Yeah, man. I love to get can I just say I think you guys would get along great you and Kenan I feel like I would get along good with Kenan. Yeah, you get that impression too. I do a hundred percent I feel like we would get along really good. Yeah. Yeah, maybe two get at me, but love to hear from Kenan Love to get Kenan on the show. I'm almost done with this joke. Oh, wow. I've really been vamping with a big I know I've been trying so hard. I

Really, this is gonna be good though. I can feel that this joke is gonna be good I can tell by Griffin's dead. I'd stare as he ties it out He's so focused into the comedy void praying Okay, here we go No, I'm on injured a reserve too because I sat on my balls I Griffin has to work so hard not to laugh at the joke he texted me to say so he doesn't get fun. Look at Griffin's Absolutely, you're the maternal mouth as he holds it

His quivering He tries not to laugh at the joke he texted me to say about sitting on my own balls Can you come up with a narrative? I can't You are going to seriously Audio podcast That was really hard guys That was really hard. Fuck it. You know what I'm running up. He's coming out. He's playing hurt on my bill coach

You can't fucking stop me when the championships on the line. Oh shit. This is the championship My stomach does hurt a lot though. I should say about the jelly beans and corn chips. That was not a joke I it's a bad situation inside of me. I I Love in sports movies when it's treated like a real act of heroism when someone is doing something physically dangerous for the sport And they're like I want to do it. Anyway, it's like yeah, it's not really a win It's like when people are like, I'm gonna be myself. I'm dumping all my brain meds down the toilet. It's like, no way That At least there's a step down process for that my dear to the very least

Contact a physician my man. You go cold turkey like that. That's a bad scene dog So based on what I do to it My toilet could probably used to be on like at least like 200 milligrams of well-butered at the at the minimum Maybe it would perk Nemo's dad up cuz he always seems to be on edge Yeah, oh man, I hope Nemo doesn't live near that my toilet exit pipe That would make me really feel pretty self-conscious about what happens in my home This is an advice show we're gonna help a lot god Travis Why are there so many questions in here? There's six

No, like a lot. There's like 10 there is not There is so I would never That's way too. Okay. They're there twice. Okay. My favorite show to watch at the gym recently has been picky blow-inders Whoa, but the second season has some random scenes with full nudity Am I okay to watch it when other people might walk by and see my screen for additional context if helpful I'm watching it on my phone. So the screen's not huge. It's at my university's gym So almost everyone there is college-aged. That's a weird detail to include peaky. That's from peaky Blinders now, you don't mean ran. I haven't watched peaky blinders, but I assume it's not random scenes

It's not like they're they're going for a big gang fight and just the nude man walks across the screen They're probably somehow related to plot or whatever, right? I'm also guessing that you were never a 13 year old person who had to scrub through a lot of VHS tapes to find nudity in His parents collection because that has given me I would say a preternatural sense for when Absolutely, you can tell you can tell by the lighting cues you can tell by the vibe You know, it's just you sense the nudity. It's not really random if you're paying attention I will also say it's it's funny to me. I have someone experienced this I remember the the first time I ever watched the shining

Was on the screen in a back of an airplane seat on board an airplane and while There might not be rampant nudity in the shining. That's a lot of Truly random truly random nudity. That's right. Yes. That one's somewhere a Delta employee was like this is fine. Somebody wants to watch this on a plane surrounded by other human beings that are Even remotely paying attention. This is a fine experience Is this season is season two of peeky blinders the one where Killian Murphy's characters pants keep splitting like Lenny Kravitz in that one concert. He did yeah With that, I'm thinking about it now that is pretty random when he's like all this other truck boys think they can stop me

Hey, well, I've got a special knife for rip and then like his Happened again. No not in me me me to veg I'm listen, I Will deal with the nudity thing. I feel like this is finally we're taking a stand in the McElroy brothers We'll deal with the nudity. We as a nation dealt with this when everyone was watching Game of Thrones on planes Yeah, it is the Game of Thrones lean. We're like you see the iPad like tilt back towards yourself You don't want to completely miss it. Maybe it's narratively important. Of course Of course, they wouldn't just put it in there to forgive the word titillate. Yeah, I don't forgive it

I do I you can't Plan on just fast-forwarding good because I don't know what kind of technology they are using To scroll through the timelines of airplanes, but it leaves it leaves a lot to be desired Yeah, I one time I watched it was that right after Girl with the dragon tattoo had just come out I watched out our airplane mistake because you try to fast-forward through some of those scenes But you end up accidentally going like halfway through the movie and then when you rewind you land right back on this sex scene Which makes it look like

You were you were doing a little bit of hunting and pecking for it like a hungry bird now I could you when you're at the gym your wait wait wait. Can I mention something that's relevant to Griffin's place? Yeah I'm also worried you're at the gym and You're I don't know what exercise you didn't you didn't clarify huge Important content. I assume if they're on their phone. It's a red. They're not like bench-pressing with the phone tape to the bar Right, but they're walk. Let's say they're walking or using the elliptical or something. Yeah, if you are look you got your finger You're moving you're exercising. You're a little sweaty If you're look, there's the button that can fast-forward great

During the nudity you see the fast-forward fine, but there's people around you Almost any other button you could accidentally press Disaster is so bad pause pause bad crank volume up bad awful rewind ten seconds Exactly exactly I stop you look puritanical like no or make treadmill go too fast You go firing off the back of it while the nudity continues. Yeah Dead ass lying on the ground like I think that dead guy's got a boner What I'm about to say next is very important Travis made me think if we did do a recreation of peeky blinders starring awesome powers and called it cheeky blinders

Would we need to get approval from? Mike Myers I guess first The peaky blinders people who make that show yeah I think if we if we step sideways enough because I guarantee the not another team movie people in the scary movie Oh, they weren't going person to person and say no we do this We just have to take it sideways just enough that you're like I'm pretty sure that's Austin Powers and I'm pretty sure this is peaky blinders But I'm not a hundred percent certain and I think if we can pull that off. We're fine. We're both fine

I've I've personally I I've had it with the peaky blinders. Thank you. Spearcy. Okay. I am 99 percent sure That if I clicked on peaky blinders, it would just be an empty street and then killian Murphy would be like Guys no no no someone click come here Seriously seriously no no no we got well these blinders are peaky today Get me my hypersold That is similarly how I feel about once upon a time. I don't believe that that show no it pops up on take talk enough But I'm like wait, that's fucking captain hook and Ursula. What's happening that I humping Yeah, what's created 40 commercials for that show to prank us

Specifically there is nothing beyond these 40 commercials because you can't tell me that there's a commercial where fucking Maleficent is like I'm good now and also the president and then she's like whoa. What's coming out of the snow? It's Elsa That's there's more show than you've made more show than that you put Elsa in it Oh my god, you just cut over to is that is that Maui finger-banging Hades? While the While the gingerbread man from Shrek watches, that's not anything That's not a TV show guys. You didn't this isn't real. No It's just basically a big portion of the of the internet turned into a TV show. Yeah, God bless

How about another question? I would love to do please that's help salt I just started commuting to work on a train in Boston nice I just noticed that the commuter in front of me must not have had time to fully check their outfit before leaving for work Most of their pants and a few other spots are covered in dog hair. What appears to be dog hair, okay? It's a fellow dog grow under myself. I always travel with a lint roller How can I offer my lint roller to this fellow early morning commuter without insulting their cleanliness? How can I get away with lint rolling them discreetly? No, that's stuck in a hairy situation from boss You know not to do that, right? You knew before you wrote that to not do that, right as you were typing

You knew not that right? I think that this is an example of like for example This is like someone's fly is down, right where what you're talking about is one one-on-one Direct immediate embarrassment moment versus a slow Like embarrassment potentially spread out over time, right? I would rather someone breach the topic right away Rip the band. Hey, your fly is down Right, and be like why don't want to embarrass them by saying it like no no no if you don't tell me the chance that like more people See that my flight like now. This is not as dramatic, right because they're meat and two veg I'm gonna pop out of the dog hair on their pants. That's so fucking funny every time. Thank you

But I do think like you have what you need to do You need to start lint rolling your pants and then be like, oh dog hair am I right? And then you're really enjoying it open that up for that. No, I didn't say that Pleasurable. I'm loving this fuck. Yes. It's like a foam roller But it also gets the dog to try this off my pants Dear my brother my brother me the guy next to me in the trade is going absolutely apeshit While watching just a super cut of nudity scenes from Vicky Blinders That would be a pretty short video because it would just be Killian Murphy over and over again going

We'll get the a what? Not again constable. I told you I oh Stop selling drugs to nuns is that what the show is about I think so I I I Don't I don't think I've ever been a hand at a lint roller in my life and not been like oh fuck. Yeah, like oh, that's true I would love to get all to just get all your clothes smooth like a dolphin Love it a really really nice thing and usually if someone's handing it to you It does mean that you do have a pretty hairy situation happening somewhere

It's like it's like portable advertising right it creates the need that it's solving as soon as you see it It's like when somebody has gum. Yeah, there's gum. They offer you gum. You're like, oh my god Gum I didn't eat gum. I didn't even know I needed gum. So you show me that Absolutely always take some gum I would also Sherlock it for a second say if the dog hairs on the back of their legs and not their lap But they might have been visiting somebody who has an animal Wow And they don't even know right because it's not their home because if it was their animal would be on their lap, right? Yeah, like that's my assumption and so they might not even know they're gonna love if you're just like hey

Hey first one's free roll that shit. You know what I mean? Yeah, get them Roll that beautiful being roll that beautiful being for I would I you it doesn't really matter what we say Because I need you to really hear this part though You can't discreetly roll anybody this one's important. This is important I know we said at the beginning, but definitely want a button. Yeah, just want to come back Sweep right back on that. No amount of help. You're giving anyone like he's going to be outlaid by hey What are you doing down there? It's not gonna balance man. I like I actually you know what I'm glad you did that

That's not gonna happen. There's always the chance that they look they want to look hairy on outside They're close to scared to ward off predators. Yeah to ward off any sort of wild forest Beasts that have wandered into the city keep in my mind. This is happening in big city. Oh, yeah, it's in Boston Griffin It said it right there in the big a big city a big oh, okay You are also if you do this especially because of the placement of the hair You are not setting yourself up for a brief

Social interaction. No, you are about to be proofreading this person's pants cuz they can't see the hair They're gonna be imagine here says here's what's gonna happen guaranteed They're gonna be rolling the back of their legs and whoa, whoa, whoa moving train. I'm falling over. Can you just do it? I can't see the hair. Can you please do it for me cute meet cute meet cute meet cute? No No, you guys are both giving me a face that this isn't a new your pants. They're pants split. That's cute. Me cute And cute veg cute veg to cute veg Is this peaky blinders the new class that takes place in a modern day Boston, Massachusetts? Yes They're back of their peaky or whatever

Starting that guy from Boston Commons who was in another show with that you remember that guy That guy who was in a lot of shows for five years. You let's do another question. We're fucking trucking right now on fire I'm a medical scientist that sounds that does it. That's all right I'm a crime detective I'm a local crime. I'm a hard-boiled crime detective I'm a medical scientist about to start working for my good friend creating a new clinical lab Since this is a new department in the company It will just be the two of us and we started joking that he'll be my captain and I'll be his first mate

I'm very into it, but I do have a problem with committing to bits way too hard. Hi. Well, I stop it I I captain or go all in I can make matching captain and first mate Badger eels. Oh Name the instrument pirate theme names design a custom pirate flag Craft a wooden name plaque for the lab like it's a seafaring vessel. So how far do I take this? Just from surfing the vibe in the sunflower state and if you come to us asking how far to take a joke I look I feel like you're looking for Absolution. Yeah, you're not right for for real guidance. I'm a sucker for this kind of vacation Bible school theming guys So like I was in it man

I was I was gonna say as long as that lab is a private safe shared space for the two of you Exclusively go as ham as you want, but If you're doing like important medical research in there And I and someone comes to tour the facility just to see you check on the work that's being done And it does look like a miniature golf course Uh, then that's maybe going to cast a shadow over any kind of exciting medical science discoveries you make in there Listen, uh, here's the answer you guys slowly introduce all that stuff But now I want to talk about when Pixar became a thing and I remember on the disney channel

They would show like we're going on a tour of the disney animation Pixar studios And it would be like you're walking down the cubicles and it's like and they're all like, uh, you know It's like vacation luau themed and like tiki huts and stuff and we're on razor scooters and stuff And I remember as a kid I was thinking like that fucking rules and now as an adult I think there's no way everyone who worked that was bought into that there was one guy who was like, uh, could I just have um I'm just like a desk. Uh, this is all really distracting. I do finance if we could please just focus Oh god, you just ran over my toe with your goddamn razor skewer. Could we please just this is an office This is a place of business

Oh, I hate this place. I wish I wish would he never existed What's that? What is this did somebody make a wish? What? No, I just you wish would he never existed? Well, then welcome Welcome to a world without woody It's cool to sit on the bench sometimes Because you really get to see the ice in a way that like you you usually don't when you're in it, you know what I mean Yeah What I also doesn't interfere with the science you're fine Yeah, no, but I think it is a question of if the friend is going to be like if you show up

Right and you've got all this stuff set up when they come in they're like, whoa That was a fun joke that now you've made an identity, right? Yeah, you don't know what the buy-in Is from your start small and see if they up the ante right right start with like Uh, the badges are fun because that doesn't require any energy. I like the badge reel the custom badge reel feels good Start there and see if they elevate, you know, um, okay, I think Sorry, griffin. Did you did you uh, I think there's just a green but in a way that made it sound like he had a big revelation Yeah, oh, he's on the bench. That's right. Okay Uh, are you so you're taking yourself on and off the bench at will is that what's happening here? Is that the bid?

Guys, that's how sports works. Do you think fucking tom brady's out there for the whole game? He goes down and sits down so now that defense is out here griffin It sucks it sucks that We It sucks that we missed the opportunity To do uh an 80 for brady watch. Thank you. I'm really I'm so upset about the fact that we didn't get to talk about 80 for brady I didn't think that way

I I saw the first commercial for 80 for brady And I would have sworn until the last three seconds that it was the tostina's commercial Nothing could convince me Nothing could convince me otherwise and it was not Hey, jesson. I felt the same way see in the plane movie trailer. I was like, this is an m&m's commercial I know they're gonna show up at the end jar our butler's gonna have sex with the green m&m. It's gonna be awesome That's anyways, that's on the next season of peeky blinders Yes

This is a cool show we're coming up with now We should just make a cool show where like totally random shit happened all the time and just call it fucking peeky blinders I think that's what once upon a time is Oh, okay. I'm not certain Uh, wow, we've hoped three people and I'm exhausted. Yeah, man. There's one thing that always picks up my spirits money Let's go the m&m Hey, do you want to mail your flat brother to your grandmother's house?

Sure, we all do. Hi, it's me javis back right for stamps.com I'm worried that perhaps flat stanley might not be as universal a reference as I think it is Not just in this moment, but in life The first time we're moving it over here the first time flat stanley the very flat boy Got mailed in envelope to somebody else It was his parents that put him inside and licked it the seal clean and put a stamp on it It said cheap cheap parents said good luck son They put a tiny they put a flat sandwich in there that they squished real flat for him

It's still first of all first of all, it's called a panini Second of all, don't mail panini. You know what with stamps.com You could probably mail a panini. You could probably figure out how to use stamps.com To to get that done because I know 2023 already a couple months in your small business You've been waiting to level it up. You've been waiting to selling paninis by selling and mailing paninis and children Get ahead of the competition by using stamps.com to mail and ship panini sandwiches

For 25 years stamps.com has been indispensable for over one million sandwich-based businesses Stamps.com lets you print your own postage and shipping labels right from your home or office or delicatessen It's ready to go in minutes. So you can get back to or take care if you need to get this kids home fast Uh, if you got to get back to running your business Stamps.com is here and if you sell products online stamps.com seamlessly connects with every major marketplace and shopping cart So flat stanley gets flattened by a bulletin board falling on him, right? Right and nobody seems to want to diagnose and fix that issue until like near the end of the book He goes to his brother and he's like, I don't want to be flat and the brother's like, okay, cool

Let's do something about it. How are how are flat stanley's parents? Well, I guess we get the answer because they mail him in an offload But how are they not worried about his internal organs and whatnot? Yeah, they're bad people. Um, you know, what's the problem? The post office, I mean probably go post office. I I love my post office Larry shout out to Larry over at all the street location Yeah, and don't blow up the spot. Justin. That's your post. Oh, you don't want everyone Showing then you can't get a reservation. I have multiple. He's got dead drops in Memorial Boulevard. I got Dave over there Hooking me up. I love it there. But what's the advantage of of stamps.com? Well, you don't have Whenever you mail something at post office, they always ask you is there anything liquid?

Hazard is perishable and then you have to stare at them for five seconds Like you're a fucking criminal that just got caught while you think is there? I don't know and you have the guiltiest expression on your face until people behind you in line or like Can we move this along? Yeah, and you're like, hold on. I'm trying to figure out if I'm a male criminal or not Yeah, over here. That doesn't happen with stanley. I have an opposite problem where I just reflexively say no Then my brain's like, but what if there is and you just lock it? Yeah, I start going down the lithium batteries in there. I start going down the list like is mustard a liquid There's a lot of mustard mustard is a non-nitonian liquid. That's what I thought it was more of a plasmoid. Yeah

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I know how much you love milkshakes. That's true Well, you tell me when's a good time to hop in to ask you about your hat because if you're on a tear right now I don't want to interrupt you. This is a daniel day lewis hat Uh Well, I thought you were researching like the role of a riverboat captain. I assumed it was connected Well, it was either this or a Sherlock Holmes hat So if I go to lids at my local mall And I say can you hook me up with a daniel day lewis? No, no, I'm sorry. I've I've not been to uh

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Walden books, it's like a hat walden books It's like a hat bookstore Like bedalton bookseller books. Yes, but hats. Yes Anyway, this is the this is the what you cannot learn you cannot learn this. Yeah You can't read it on a book sure Your voice has changed dramatically. He's a transformative actor griffin. Sorry. Sorry, mr. Day lewis. Sorry Um, griffin's not a fan. You'll like I am so uh, yeah, I think you suck shit, dude Whoa, okay

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I'm sorry. I'm trying to start reading this uh professional release press Press release that justin has uh book bookmarked for me, but I'm obsessed. I'm drinking this He left something for me called. Have you heard of you? Who? Oh, man, justin's drinking a you That is a it's a chocolate drinking custard Okay, real really amazing. It's so wild because I think of my older brother It's like an adult in a way of like he like he's more

This much or is that an honor more deserve for me? I'm trying to give 250 percent because jesse was funded in They didn't grow from his bench. So I had to be oh, I ate too many corn chips. Mr. Dayluis What that hold on I have to write that down that is That is heartbreaking and jelly beans Sorry one more time did justin decant the yuhu into another bottle for you Jelly beans now speak on that for a moment sure. Yeah, these are uh, it's a it's a confection But they are bean shaped delicious. Yeah sort of like, um Turkish delight. Yeah, you know, you know, Isaac

The boy chocolatier who sells candy Ah, yes, so he makes these jelly beans uh out of this world out of this world some of them are burger flavored Would you like to hear about the news that's coming out today? I'm this I'm learning this alongside you Now this is smash burger. Yeah Charming isn't that smash burger? You're really making a meal out of this. Aren't you mr. Day? I would love I would love to I have not sucked today and a smashed burger sounds Edible they've released a macaroni macaroni shaped body pillow In honor of a new

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Oh, no, it's too much for me. Can't handle it. Yes guests can visit smash burgers instagram page and enter for a chance to win this exclusive body pillow inspired by the dish They're just making the one They have an asterisk after dish I don't know what that is meant to imply There's a oh Oh, this is a quotation

I'm sorry. Oh, he's getting into character. Hi. I forgot. I watched a documentary about this dude once He does a lot of A lot of weird stuff like yeah, he he's method. He learned it from joe. I'm carl bachman I'm carl bachman. I'm carl. I'm carl bachman As a leader in the fast casual space Smash burger is proud. You're enjoying this aren't you mr. Dayluis? You're you're liking this version constantly pushing the boundaries of flavor with quality ingredients to create Delectable new menu items. That's carl bachman now mr.

He's the president of smash burger duly elected. I'm sure mr. Dayluis Um, if I'm understanding correctly what smash burger is done here is they've put some macaroni cheese on a burger And then claimed that they're pushing the boundaries of flavor now is this not a conventional treatment of the burger product for Most people is this no it sounds like something my four my three-year-old would do It does sound like a big messy. Oh you have children. What a blessing. Oh my god. Daniel Dayluis Do you have to run everything? I either have or haven't been fortunate

In to have children of my own Is that when you're oh when you're deep in a role you forget you have kids? Is that what's up? Let's go with that. That's x. Yes. Would you say you've maybe even abandoned your boy? Oh You want me to do people always come up to the street. They say dan Can you do a quote? One of your great quotes from your film. Can you rip us off a quote from one of your mini? A lot of times it's phantom thread. Yes

Shout hey, hey, hey, Daniel Dayluis Can you do the that classic line from phantom thread where you were like this soup tastes yucky? Don't look it up. Don't look it up. I see the flash of a monitor Daniel It's not the line isn't this soup tastes yucky, but it's something like that. I'm sure you're remember. I'm not enjoying I'm not enjoying this soup That's pretty good. The guy pulls a gun on you That doesn't happen in phantom sounds right. This is there's more of the quotation for the scene if I can finish this Please

For this dish. We're using proprietary Smashing techniques. That is my god hugely exciting for them Uh, I wonder if they would let me in on their their secrets. Maybe you go undercover. How many secrets do you have daniel dayluis? We smashed the mac and cheese on the grill to create a crispy and flavorful baked cheese layer before adding it to the burger It's something we've never seen done before now for you and I and other people of Of clarity and vision if we've never seen something done before we perhaps assume

Yeah, there is cause right for that But not carl bachman the duly elected president of smashburger He says it's something never done and we know our guests will love it as much as we do. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, mr. Dayluis. He doesn't say it's never been done. He simply claims he's never seen it Perhaps perhaps he doesn't get out much. This is what I'm saying if he goes to other restaurants and keeps his eyes closed Then he is fully, uh, correct But i'm saying the idea of making crispy mac and cheese is definitely i'm almost certain been done before I can think of a lot of ways

Oh, perhaps that's why it's titled that way. It causes the drinking custard Causes let's just for years Justin has been drinking from that water bottle and i've always assumed it was water and you've just shown me that it's potentially always been you You know Part of being an actor. Okay. Yeah, it's buying into Imagination to buying into scenes. Yeah, so for example if a daniel dayluis type says he's drinking yuhu But he doesn't have a bottle of yuhu in front of him And it's a lie audio perhaps it's an audio medium. So you've been lying to us

That it what is acting? You're boring me now. What the fuck? What is acting but a lie? Hey daniel you gotta say daniel you gotta say funny shit on this show sometimes man You gotta get in cheeseburger is set to satisfy that craving for tasty comfort. You can modify any existing burger Build to add the smack and cheese layer It's not really returned scorching chicken sandwich by popular demand. None of it's real We got to give travest space for his existential crisis about his career choices and uh Acting acting is lying with panache

It's just I it sounded like you know who told me that do you know me? You know who told me that? daniel the video I thought Another beloved dan you'll Travis listen listen you can have this breakdown after we record. We only got daniel dayluis for a little bay here He's a busy man. Can you tap back in please? I'll try I'll try Okay, okay. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm in I'm in okay

What is love From your perspective as is this part of this part of the press release No, no, I'm just asking before I go. I just had that question for you Wow, mr. J. Lewis. Are you okay? Mmm. Mmm. You seem to have a deep sadness within you behind the eyes. I can see it behind the eyes But that could just be part of the facade, right? It could be part of the facade No, I feel a great deal of joy to be sharing this news of the smack and cheese burger with you now Boys, you may want to stop recording this uh audio program because you only have until March 6th

To enjoy as many of these delightful smack and cheese burgers as you can consume which I uh Imagine will be quite a few uh once you've tasted this proprietary smashing technique How many are you gonna eat me? Yeah, I only eat far far beans Okay. Hey Daniel Hey Daniel Yeah, yes Real quick within the next like three seconds or so. What year were you born? Me yes, say it now. Don't type say it now Daniel

19 Daniel 61. No Daniel 61. No Daniel That is the year this care, but No Daniel Daniel Daniel 68 smell no Daniel Daniel, are you American born? Ah the great question

Don't look it up Daniel. Were you born in America? My hands are here Okay, I was born in British But now I am here and your father's name was Daniel father Daniel what we we called him father. He insisted or cappin We called him cappin. This was cappin day lewis cappin day lewis. We called him our sir or inspector general when that was uh Is his job title? 64, how does that smell?

What's smelly getting further daniel getting further from the day 78 It's gotta be further back daniel. It's gotta be earlier daniel. You're not 45 Is the older than my dad? That's my barometer for old people. Is daniel day lewis older than his own father? no Justin's dad was born in I've always thought that guy was a little strange, but if he's older than his own father 1963 No What year is it now? Okay. Hmm. I have this okay

1968 we have loved having you on the show daniel day lewis um ralph Was it ralph day lewis? That was it ralph day lewis ralph day lewis i born two years before your dad next bit Um I think the character of stranger who wanders into justin's home pretending to be daniel day lewis Is a way more interesting character to me than a lot more to The problem is your workshopping it as you do it. Yeah, this is live. This is live theater. You guys never know what you're gonna find

Yeah, sure. I love it. I I thought he was great Um feel like let's talk. Let's let's troubleshoot though. Okay. Yeah, we never do that. We never do a postmortem. Yeah We never Let me get comfortable. Well, it looks wildly uncomfortable. I have my knee in the shot. It's fine. So if I let's let's talk good and bad Okay, number one that I didn't like that was great. That was great. That was super guys off kilter Yeah, so you guys off kill one thing I did the hat come first where you found the hat and you're like This'll be great for a daniel day lewis munch squad. No, no, no the hat was the last minute I bought another hat

That'll be better, but I couldn't wait a whole week to get the hat. Well, no When you have the fully formed character of daniel day lewis at your fingertips. Yeah, you can't sit on that Okay, let's talk just to continue um Things I didn't like one calling attention to The voice starting to sound like other people you're familiar with when you know, I didn't have a daniel day lewis impression Yeah, or that was but you couldn't weigh a week. That's what I didn't have the

Or the hat it's not an impression. It's like uh Embodiment it is an impression. It's not a duplicate, right? It just gives you the sense. Oh, okay On set to go back to the snl. Well, they don't usually on sarah live sketches Have somebody kick in the door to the middle of the sketch and be like, all right, jimmy fallon What was ricky martin's uncle's name? You know what I mean? Okay, so you've gotten to the quizzing. Yeah That was another thing we were gonna bring up that made it hard to sustain the bit is when you guys started quizzing About daniel day lewis, but if I can give some feedback j-man, this would be great. I would love that Yeah, I would love that. I didn't wait before you did that. Oh, I had you feel like you've owned

Your failures. No, no, no because I think of my failures. I think that maybe there was a bit of a Uh snowballing effect because once daniel day lewis introduced the concept of my mortality It really set me and I would say a very defensive position now jesson's getting a suntan on his perineum I'm just trying to relax Um I thought honestly, but I wouldn't challenge you like that if I didn't think you couldn't walk through the fire You know what I mean? I told you what on the on the name of his dad. Yeah You're asking the name of his father

You would forgive me for thinking that if you brought a daniel day lewis character to the show you would not do And no hat that the very least you've done It just sat it kind of all over the place because I feel like that's how he sounds. Yeah, definitely. I thought that bit worked I did Here's what's gonna blow your guys's mind. I didn't know research Huh, I didn't his so if I may just it and I don't mean to die to get but it sounds like him make me feel Uncomfortable interviews with really really talented people make me feel uncomfortable for sure So I didn't want to watch any interviews of daniel day lewis seems like

I don't need to see mario Lopez shoving a microphone into his face and being like, what's your favorite cereal? I don't need that. Right. So you thought of the name daniel day lewis and said I can't wait a week for this No, it's the idea of daniel day lewis Listen for the lack of daniel day lewis for the extreme lack of preparation that went into that. Justin I would say That you actually did a pretty good job. Yeah eight out of ten. Yeah for real fell asleep last night Thinking about daniel day lewis describing you who is chocolate drinking custard It's funny now

This is good. It's funny. I don't see why you guys didn't laugh at that It was so funny because you would introduce the idea not as him just referring to it as chocolate drinking custard But rather that justin had prepared it for him I think but I think what you guys were thrown by is the fact that I didn't have a bottle of you Yeah, Justin You couldn't go out and get one this morning couldn't wait a week Why would I ever do that just because you're a comedy professional who's been in the business? It's a podcast It's a podcast

But why would I have that they record? I want to start I want to start challenging you guys every time you say anything It's gonna be like, but do you have it in your hands? If you you gotta have it in your hands I roll up with lots of research about the cowboys. Excuse me the coat of the west boys of mimesa So like don't comment me for not being prepared and most weeks I get a wiki how Not this one. I did I didn't do one this one But most of the other thing that we don't want to talk about here is that we got through the first half faster than we should have Yeah, because griffin didn't do any work. Should we do another question? No. Oh, we don't have to do other questions

We can troubleshoot this all day long Um, yeah, we recorded a little bit earlier than usual today And I forgot you guys last night that if I didn't even show you guys the image of it And I'm not sure you deserve it, but I'm still gonna share I can't wait to see what flat macro a flat macaroni plane sort of looks like Oh, that's the pillow Oh, they didn't include a picture of the burger. They have they have taste

Yeah, I'm married to that pillow I sleep with a body pillow Uh for to properly orient my kneecaps and elbows And it this just seems like a normal old body pillow that somebody's that kind of curved around them a little bit Yeah, I mean if it's in a big way actually if you would ask me before you show me the picture I would have described it as different from this, but I can't quite pin down How it would have been different, but it would not have been this Do you think it's macaroni scented because that would set it apart? I'm not in a good way, mind you

Yeah, they would have bragged about that for sure. I think I was hoping it would be an actual tube Yeah, I could climb inside of and become a macaroni boy Every night when I go to sleep and kind of wiggle around in yeah Real quick super quick. Sure. Should I tell people when I dream about them? I have vivid dreams almost every night often involving friends and acquaintances Is it appropriate to tell people about a wacky dream I had if they were in it? Is it too weird and that's from not sex dreams obviously in Ohio? It's not that it's weird broadcast too much. It's not that it's weird

It's that it's boring because I think that when you are thinking about it and you're gonna tell somebody You are looking at it like I'm telling you about this cool movie I cast you in in my brain, but they weren't there They didn't get to do the awesome fly around fight zombie stuff that you're describing So for them it's just like you were saying like hey, wouldn't it be cool if right now you to fly around and fight zombies? And they're like I guess no reaction. There's no proper reaction to it. It's like it's not a conversation There's nothing you can say after I had a dream about anything. It doesn't matter if they're in it or not I would no response. I would swear on a stack of bibles. We've done this

Maybe the only reason people though. Here's the insight I want to provide to everybody when people jump to assuming it was a sex dream It's not a perverted thing. It's because that would be the only interesting option for the rest of the conversation, okay? Right. I do want to hear about sex dreams. Actually, right. Yes, but it's like I'd like to hear about that Justin Tyler macro, you can't unsave that sentence. You just said yeah, I was trying to hear about that I could use the confidence boost as long as in the dream. I'm a skilled lover. Oh boy Hmm I had a very passive sex dream about this. Yeah, that wasn't good Nice extreme about you. You were a real letdown. There's a bump on the log. Justin. We

Oh, I didn't tell you about the dream yet. Hold on. Wait, that doesn't make sense of that context Um, but it took me fair in my dream. You were going through a hard time at work. You were real stressed out And you just started some new brain meds and it was messing with your bonus stuff. Yeah, it's fine You you turned on a scrubs marathon in the middle of our It's fucked up actually and then I had to dream entire episodes of scrubs and I saw some new ones They're pretty good. I'm gonna write a spec script Turn it in Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. It's called my brother. My brother mean no matter what you say. That's what

Sorry, uh, we really appreciated you joining us and being here with us as we Work one of our working tensions The first half was great the first half was smooth sailing baby. The second half was greatness Yeah, it was greatness within the second half. Yeah, that was torn like a thunder. You're right. Some people are born great Some people become great and some people do an impression of Daniel Daniels Here's what I will say. Here's what I will say if you guys don't enjoy that I would encourage you to bring stink all to this show Just once just bring fucking hey, bud. Just don't challenge me to bring bitch to the show

I've been trying to pay her back to this one. We're in bring bring stink all to it. I've been trying to pay her back Justin all right. Hold on. Let me look at what props I have at my desk. No, I don't want no We've gone on long enough. I'm the scissor man. I'm the scissor man. Hey wait. Oh, Daniel Daniel is appropriate worker for my left toot. Is that anything? That's that's nothing Hey speaking of real quick. Can I ask a question? I know we're wrapping up I was doing the crossword and the clue was owner odors. Okay. Uh-huh. That's it was odors and the solution was Stinks Have you ever heard someone talk about plural stink before like stinks?

There's several stinks in here. Yeah, or the reverse has anyone ever said oh, man that odors like no One of those are things. Yeah, I could see like there's many odors in here No one's ever said this place is filled with stinks a wide assortment of stink no because it all it's a miasma At that point all because you can't pick out different stink notes Uh, thank you for for listening. Um, what do we got going on trap? What's what's coming up? Oh, man, thank you so much for asking the graphic novel is out 11th hour adventure zone the fifth and the series is out now Today's the last day if you're listening on monday This is today's the last day you can buy it and it still counts because the first week is super duper important

So if you haven't got it yet get out there if you're not if you're not listening to it on monday Still do you buy it? Yeah, please still buy it. We'll be the adventure zone comic.com. You can get it there We also we have the video From our launch event Up on our youtube channel. It was really great our guys were super fun. Absolutely superstars Also get your tickets for the first 20 son and c event

It's a live and virtual show with my brother my brother and me and softbones opening on march 17th It's going to be at 9 p.m. Eastern time tickets are only $10, which is a great value frankly A video on demand will be available for purchase for two weeks after the event and get you bit.ly slash mb mb am virtual If you want to meet me and my dad you can come to the books million at the honeyton mall in barbersville long story Don't get me started march 4th Uh for that's a saturday from 2 to 4 p.m. We're going to be there signing stuff and and saying hi there It's honeytons So there probably won't be a lot of people there because they most of the people in town

Aren't they just see us if they want to that's right and come to the thing So if you just want to come and hang out that would be so cool march 4th dad me Books a million you get there I'll give you some some lunch and dinner recommendations if you come into town from elsewhere Tell you exactly where to go eat no problem. Oh, also i'm doing another stardew valley run on my twitch If you want to check that out it's twitch.tv slash the charvis macroe and i'm excited to see everyone on the joker cruise And max fun drive is coming up. So get excited. We go. All right

All right, thanks. Thanks montane for these sort of theme song. My life is better with you um It's it's the it's the world's most important song Most important of all of them. All right trav bring it home. Yeah, uh, no right now because i'm sure I'm sure with the thorough drubbing that I got over my daniel day lewis preparation that you already you're not just pulling up a quote right now All right, but just i would never do that. That would be Ridiculous. We are on camera. I know Uh, let's see. Okay. Here's one

um But you're so busy changing the world Just one smile can change all of my jack johnson i'm just a macri Oh, i'm travis macroe i'm griffin macroe This has been my brother my brother me kiss your dad square on the lips

Yeah, it's better with you My life Ah It's better. It's better with you My life Oh Ah It's better. It's better with you

This is true Oh It's better. It's better with two My life Ah It's better with you.