My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 652: Travis's Fast Soup Cup for Boys

Episode Date: March 20, 2023

We've got some HOT tips for your yo-yo throwdown, how to get the best moves up and down, and also around. How about simmering some plants to help focus with some yo-yo pro-pro pre-pro potpourri? Or if you're filming your neat tricks on a ship, better use a Jo-Co Go-Pro.Suggested talking points: Bird That's Also a Person, That's Why I Watch Ella Enchanted on the Company Time, Strict Teddy Bear Punisher, Chk'n and Wffls, Fast Beetlejuice.Equality Florida: https://www.eqfl.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? To a precious friendship, I could have never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels love. My life, it's better, it's better with you.

Guys, guys, guys, guys, I've got bad news. Is this the show? Don't pan it, guys. Is this the show? Before we can even start the show, guys, I've got bad news. Dr. Guhart, the wealthy billionaire industrialist, just bought the land that our podcast is on. He said if we don't raise a bunch of money, he's going to turn our podcast into a place where they grind up puppies into sausages. Dr. Guhart said that?

Yeah, so we've got to put on a show and raise a bunch of money to save this podcast. But the problem is, can we do a different mental image? Because I don't want you to keep saying the other thing because it's too upsetting for me. Dr. Guhart said that he's going to turn our podcast. Say another bad thing that he does, like a different bad thing. He's going to take pennies away from children and give them to rich people. It's going to be a child to rich person exchange. Yeah, that's different from how it is now, right, gang?

Oh, I get it. Topical humor, right? I hate Dr. Guhart. I hope he fucking dies. If we can raise enough money, we can legally murder Dr. Guhart. I'm not going to murder him, but I want him to fall down some stairs. It'll be an accident. And I'll pay $50,000 to someone who makes that dream a reality for me.

And I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I need $50,000 to pay for the assassination of Dr. Guhart. And the Max Fund Drive is the only way I've ever known how to get funds for anything in my life. Won't you help us kill Professor Guhart today? No way. Did he get demoted because I'm sure he was a doctor. Well, no, it's a non-medical doctor. He's a professor and a doctor. You still call those people Dr. Travis.

Sorry, guys, his first name is Professor. His first name is Professor. Dr. Professor Guhart. Welcome to the Max Fund Drive. This is Dr. Phil. This is a special two-week celebration of Dr. Phil's life and career. His legacy in my name. His legacy.

He's left nothing on the court, gone but not forgotten. Let's talk about... Before she met Dr. Phil, Oprah was in shambles. I don't know if you remember this. He was falling apart. She just had books and nothing else. Nothing else. She was going to buy Walden books in like 2006.

And Dr. Phil was like, now Oprah, wait a minute. That's just throwing good money after math. Do you think brick and mortar book stores are on the rise, Oprah? Let's talk about this. Do you think brick and mortar books are on the rise? Eventually we will have to talk about the Max Fund Drive. He said back in my day, we had brick and mortar.

Now all they got is brick and mortar. Yes, Justin. What's Max Fund Drive, Justin? I've been begging you guys to tell me. You have to figure it out for yourself. It's a yearly, you might say annual, way for us to come to you and say, hey, do you enjoy this stuff that we make for you?

Do you enjoy the content such as it is? I would sure appreciate it if you would support that content by pledging anywhere from five all the way to one million dollars a month. That's not a lot. I don't think that's true, Justin. You don't think it's true. Someone could pledge a million. You think Jesse Thorn, when they come to him and they're like,

here's a million dollars a month. Jesse would be like, I don't think so, guys. Justin, I actually think he would say that. I think he'd be like, that is actually too much. Sometimes if I try to buy a plane ticket that's a little bit on the more expensive side of things, my bank immediately shuts down my entire bank account because it thinks that someone's stolen my identity.

So I would hope that any million dollar donation to any podcast network would be shut down immediately by the banks and the government. That's actually the problem. People are like, Elon Musk, you have to give them more money to the charity. He's like, you don't understand. I can't.

I can't when I try to. My bank's like, that's not you. My bank's got me on a $5,000 limit daily. I can't. It's a way for you to support these shows that you enjoy. The shows on Max Fun are owned by the people that make them. And the vast majority of your donation goes straight to those shows. And a small portion of it goes to Max Fun

for supporting our shows and paying the people that make everything, make the engines go over there. Exactly. The pistons, the turbines. Yeah. The combustion. All that stuff.

But we need you. If you like it, if you like what we make, this is the time of year. If you're able, if you can pledge some money to the network, we'd really sure appreciate it. And there's the reward levels and stuff,

and we'll get into that a little bit. But if you want to become a supporter, you can go to maximalfun.org slash join. Now let's get to the questions. I want to say something. So we can fucking stick it to Dr. Professor Goohart.

I know that there's people who've been listening to us for a long time, and those people are incredibly special to me. And I bet you there's some people in there that haven't ever supported the Max Fun drive. And to those people, I say we're going to get you this year. This year we're going to bust you up with...

And I want you to, when you do, like, I want you to say it. Like, 12 years. I wasn't tweeted at us. 12 years just, I've been raw dogging it 12 years, guys. But now I've decided.

You got me this year. You got me this year. And you don't have to tweet it. You can go back to the old school tweets where you just whisper it to a bird, and then you let the bird go. The bird comes and finds us, whispers it to us.

A cool thing I do sometimes is I just think it. Yeah. I tell me droogies, and they spread the word high and low amongst the city's criminal elements. Yeah. I've been meaning to talk to you about that,

Jonathan. Inefficient. Sometimes you're like sending a droogie to let me know you're going to be five minutes late for something. And by the time the droogie finds you, it's like three days later. Yeah.

It's tough too. Sometimes I'm at Kroger, and I'm like, do we need to get cauliflower? I don't remember if we have any. And then I have to find a droogie. One of your little spiders. One of my little birds. Beautiful little birds.

I call them the rafters. Inefficient. Let's do a question. Hey, how do we, how do we as a society, this is something I was thinking about this week. Yeah, cool. And this is kind of our first question.

The first question comes from me. It doesn't make a right. How do we as a society, and society in this instance is represented in microcosm by us three vastly different people. Right. Different backgrounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What a good selection we've got here. How do we as a society decide if it's okay for a bird to be in a building? Okay. Huh. Yeah. Have we noticed this? Have you noticed that there are rooms that you're in?

Say this studio, for example, is a very small room. If a bird's in here, fucking shut it down. Evacuate. Evacuate, call an adult. What kind of bird? A professional adult.

If there was a parrot in there, there's more content. I'm not saying you, Justin McRoy, would love it, but I'm saying there would be more context than just like you look over and there's like a turkey vulture. I don't know what that has to do with the price of gas travel because what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is flip side of that.

If you're in, we don't have them around here, but I assume Ikea's are very big. Yes. It's very large. If there's a bird flying around, if there's a bird flying around in Ikea, you're kind of like,

go be weird if there wasn't a bird flying around. Right. Right. I think in the warehouse, not in the showroom, it would be rough in the showroom. Would that be rough in the showroom? I think of it as ballooning the rafter rules.

Okay. Which is as you gauge how big a pain in the ass it would be to get it down versus like that balloons just a fixture now. Financial like work hour assessment that like, that would take two people half a day. When I worked at PetSmart, it was just accepted that there were going to be birds in the rafters because we had a whole aisle filled with bird food

and birds do not get that that needs to be bought to be consumed. Right. So birds are just like, oh sick man, I found a great spot to live. Yeah. Do you think birds come into town and they're like, do you guys have any cool places to live?

And one guy's like, Yeah, I do. I got one. I think the two big considerations. They got some hot ones too. They got hot birds. They got free food. They got hot birds behind glass that you can just go look at

and jerk off to. That's cool. That's amazing man. It's an amazing place man. They do have giant wolves. That part sucks. I think there's a square footage threshold that once you cross it,

the distinction between inside and outside at that point is negligible at best. I think the second consideration that kind of has to build on the first one is, is it bad that the bird is there? Like hospitals are big, but it's, it would be,

that's a bad place for a bird to be, because we're doing it. We're doing. Probably be frowned on that. We're kind of doing the most important human stuff in here. We kind of don't want you guys to see this part. It's embarrassing. You could use it against us.

I say once again though, context is that we can't just say all birds. Cause if I'm in a hospital room and a pigeon walks in, I'm like, that's gross. If I'm in a hospital room and a penguin waddles in, listen, it's weird. Okay. It's weird as shit.

Now fuck off. You can't pick the one bird. That one's our bird. You can't pick the one bird that is basically a little dude. The one bird that, the moment they walk into any room, everyone is like, ah, there he is.

Yeah. Like it would be weird cause how did that penguin get to, let alone in the hospital. Nobody cares. My thing is going to be like, oh ho ho. Hello. Hello there gentlemen. Penguins aren't fair.

They're not. Penguins aren't fair. That it would be, penguins are like if there was a flying dog, just there's one type of dog that can fly. We're still going to call it a dog though. Yeah. Even though it has wings and can't fly.

I love them. I love a penguin. If a penguin walked in right now, this whole podcast grinds to a halt. That's it. Yeah. That's not, but for Travis,

that is a low bar. Yeah. There's a lot of things that grind podcast to a halt. Yeah. If they wandled into Travis. Fair. Let's, let's answer your question.

I would love to. Oh, we should probably say the link where you can go and, I did. But maximumfund.org slash join. Thanks. I have a co-worker who used to use his yo-yo at work daily. He was getting good at doing tricks and loaned me a yo-yo so I could learn too. Oh yeah.

But every year, and I finally learned some tricks. I want to show him what I've learned, but he no longer uses it. How do I get him to start using his yo-yo again, so I can show off my new tricks? If it helps, I work as a bank teller.

Oh, I got another question here. It's from a bank manager. It says, where do I find new employees? I just got one employee to stop yo-yoing. And another one started doing it. What's wrong with my bank?

If you did want to do some high level yo-yo on the low low, I think you could pick a worse job to do it at than one where your lower two thirds are obstructed. Yeah. You got to learn some, like, lower to the dance level, like isolation, so that you never see the shoulder move. Shoulders?

I'm yo-yoing right now. I could yo-yo. Definitely. I have to be real careful with those hand gestures. No, it's in your eyes, Griffin. The problem is it's in your eyes. You got yo-yo eyes. You would be like,

when you go pro, they're like, one weird thing about this guy is he only works below the nips. You'll never see him go, he doesn't know any tricks above the nips. Is that usually a featured hotspot for yo-yo? You would actually know better than me, Joe. No, just where the bank counter would cut you off.

There's got to be up in the air yo-yo. Can't just hold me down. Yeah, sure. Justin, yo, and yo. If you're doing it at the bank, though, if that's where you're learning, it has to be. No, this is one of the things. That's what would make you stand out,

because I'm pretty sure in a standard yo-yo pro competition, a yo-yo pro-pro, you have to do up and down and maybe around and maybe forward and back. Yeah. But you're just ready for those when you're doing your yo-yo pre-pro. Yeah, that's annoying. For me, it's a no-go.

I actually like to use a little bit of dried leaves and berries. And I simmer them to help me focus on preparing for it. I like to call it my yo-yo pro-pro pre-pro-pro pre. I'm going to lay down under my desk and I'll set a timer for what do you guys do? You should pass for this. 25 minutes? 30 minutes?

You should pass for this. I'll come back in 30 minutes and just put on my headphones and just hear a minute and a half of uninterrupted, like pro-go-go, pro-jo-bo, pro-go-bo, pro-jo-go-bo, pro-go-bo, pro-go-bo, pro-go-bo. Record job, pro-go. Well, and it's the one I just used on the cruise. It's my jo-co-go-pro-yo-yo-pro-pro-pro-pro.

Stop it. Okay, well, I'm putting a stop to this. No fun allowed. I think that your coworker doesn't get to decide when the two of you are done yo-yoing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's the usual.

They invited you in trance, insorcelled you into their DVM lifestyle. If you will. Yeah, yeah. I think it's time to do-do-do-do-do. You're going to have to challenge him. You're the new one, right? He's, you know, the yo-yo kid or whatever,

or he's whatever, the old salt, and you're going to challenge him to a duel. Now, yo-yo off. Behind the counter, window wins around. Maybe it's, what's a slow day at the bank? You think a Tuesday? Probably a Tuesday. Sunday.

Well, Sunday, it's closed, right? Banks are open on Thursday. See, it can't be slower than that. It's pretty slow, yeah. Yeah, but don't go to work on your day off, man. Come on. Yeah, the keys. On Sundays, the bank's just a yo-yo parlor.

Oh, yeah, it turns into an underground yo-yo parlor. We got trouble right here in River City with a capital Y, and in this case, it's just yo-yo. Do you think they fucking Beyblade'em? Oh, yeah. Yeah, man. I bet you those are some quick bouts. Just throwing two yo-yos at each other.

What was the gang griffin where you used to yo-yo as a weapon? You got Star Tropics. Star Tropics, baby. You're just fighting it out. Yeah, now you're just sort of saying cool yo-yo things that have happened in the past. I'm just saying that maybe that's how you get it back into it. Battle him for the yo-yo.

It's just violent. It's not about tricks. Don't do that. Okay. Don't attack people. Okay. Coward. So, I have a Costco membership that I pay for.

Ooh, I love it. I buy a lot of stuff from their store. I don't have one of those around here either, which had a Costco. It's pretty good. I think I joined Costco to try to get a PlayStation 5 when that was a going concern. That's fine. But I've never set foot in one.

Justin, do you like pretzels? You know what? Oh, I'm glad you asked. I like nuggets, sourdough nuggets of pretzels. I like those. Or like sometimes I can fuck with like the real thick crunchy boys. And of course, mall pretzels. Yeah.

They're quite nice. Yeah. So, I guess overall, I like pretzels. That's good. I forgot why I asked. So, I have a Costco membership that I pay for. I buy a lot of stuff from their stores. They play movies on their TVs.

Would I be remiss to just sit there and watch the whole movie with no intention? Hold on. Okay. I see Justin and Griffin are nodding their heads. Yes. I couldn't tell that Griffin was doing that. I was looking at the question.

Would I be remiss to just... Holy shit, man. With no intention whatsoever that I'd buy the television nor movie because I've already seen it then, you know, and it's fine. What's stopping me from just bringing in a gang of friends, popcorn, candy, free movie theater? And they're playing that movie anyway.

And I'm paying them a fee to enter their store already. Is that a victimless crime? Now, the fact that you do have to pay to go into Costco is an interesting wrinkle in this. And they give away a lot of free samples. You could have a whole day watching a movie and just getting samples and stuff. Yeah.

Guys, this week, me and my daughter, Salish, are spending 24 hours stuck inside of Costco just getting samples, trying not to get noticed. And you're right. Nothing is stopping you from doing this except for the tissue that binds human society together at a fundamental and sort of subatomic level. Now, so here's what you're talking about,

question asked. Is this multiple levels to this? Is there anything, perhaps, legally stopping you? No, of course not. Ain't no log in it. For sure. But here is what is stopping you. And I'm going to talk about morality or any of that shit.

What I'm talking about is the time to awkward ratio here is like how many minutes do you actually think you'd be able to spend as a human being? This is like those hands on a hard-body competition. Yes. How long can you endure standing there watching it as like different employees come up and go, you need help with anything?

You need something? Anything I can help you find? I would ask that question at tops twice before they knew what your whole sneaky situation is. How long do you think you guys could stand there, or even sit there and watch like from beginning, starting at the blah, blah, blah, blah, kind of moments of a movie?

Yeah. How many minutes in do you think you could make out? I mean, is it a good movie? Yeah. A couple minutes. Yeah. Two minutes. If I looked, and I would have to be rubbing my feet

while I sat there. Oh, yeah. Rubbing my feet while Avatar played on the huge TV that I've just walked into in the middle of and probably having a great time. Got to be rubbing my feet like, oh, it's so nice to get off these puppy dogs. The only exception I can think of that you might be able

to pull off is, I don't know if they do this Costco, but every once in a while, and honestly I haven't seen one for a while, I don't know why I'm saying any of this, there were rooms that would be like showing off surround sound. Oh, yeah. Like small little dark alcoves you'd go into and like, I think you could get away with that, right?

Yeah. Because if someone walked in and they saw you sitting there, they're not going to be like, I'm just going to wait outside until he's done enjoying this and then I'll try it. They're just going to leave, right? That would be wild. They're just hanging and waiting for you.

So you would just get a string of people coming in, seats occupied, they leave, they didn't want it anyway. I think that you could maybe get away with for like a half hour. Yeah. And eventually, you know, laws are funny, but there's this other thing where it's like- Their suits stop right there.

They are fucking hysterical. Laws are fucking hilarious. But there's this other thing where like, businesses can just do what- Right. Like you're in their Costco, they could be like, don't do this. Yeah.

Just don't, just stop doing this, we'd prefer you left and not do this anymore. They could do that whenever. It's not, there's not, they don't have to call the police to come get you out. They just say, please leave this Costco and don't remember. Now, I will remind people, and I hate to be the one who's always banging this drum,

they can't actually do anything to you. They can't touch you. They can't stop you. That is true. They can't, you are, they are powerless to get you out of that Costco. So if you have the determination and grit, you can watch all of Shrek ever after.

Because they can look incredibly disappointed and frustrated with you. Yeah. But if you can withstand that mental barrage, let me also tell you, this is someone who worked at Best Buy and did many times, because I had to stand at the front, watch the entirety of say an enchanted

or a journey to the center of the earth. It is not a good movie going experience. It's not, you're not going to get caught up in the moment and be like, oh my God. She's doing it. She's falling in love with him. And Patrick Dempsey loves her too.

You're not going to get caught up in it. Trab, do you agree with me? We're both Best Buy employees. If you saw someone doing this, do you feel like there would be a point at which the script was flipped from, boy, it's weird that this guy's been sitting here for a long time.

Should I do something too? Man, I really hope this guy can make it through this whole movie. Yeah. I really want this to be the thing. Because if someone sits in your Best Buy and watches half a movie, that's nothing. But if you can tell people like, what's a guy watch Ella Enchanted,

the entirety of it, just right there. It's amazing. Especially since, let me say this, if you can communicate this, even if it's unspoken, if I as an employee can stand close enough to him where my bosses think I'm helping him do something, but also I'm watching Ella Enchanted,

that's two hours of my shift eaten up and I love that. Just occasionally if I can just say, check out the fidelity or something, like look bright colors, right? How many pixels do you count? One? Exactly.

Right, just enough. Boss gets a dollar, I get a dime, that's why I watch Ella Enchanted on the company time. That's right. Hey, let's talk about Maximum Fun Drive. Sure. It feels like it's time, doesn't it? It does.

It does. Can I tell you about it? Can I tell you about it? Please, Travis. You're the best. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. So basically, we make this show,

we put it out for free. There it is. You can listen to it anywhere you want to. You can listen to it at home, in the car, in the shower if you've rigged up some kind of water safe scenario, right? And then once a year, we come to you two weeks and say, hey, maybe think about becoming a supporter.

And that helps us at this point. This is all of our full-time jobs. We have multiple shows on the network. And we've been able to do that because over the years, people have shown us support during the Max Fun Drive. And so here's how it works. You go to maximumfun.org, Ford's less join.

You find a support level that works for you that you can work into your budget once a month. And then you become a supporter and you get access to, even at the base level, at this point, over 500 hours of bonus content. And then there's other levels above that. And you get access to that bonus content, which this year includes a,

my brother, my brother and me remix, where we remixed the episode 400, where we did the red carpet or blue carpet premiere of Margaritaville on Broadway. And I think I do Justin Spart, Justin does Griffin Spart and Griffin does my part, if I remember correctly. And then we have special guest, Matt Doyle,

who does everyone else. It is, it's, it may be the close. Okay, let me say this. It may be the closest we've ever gotten to art. But at the end of it, I was like, this was art. I don't know what it was, but I know it was art. I'm certain of it. And then there's all the bonus content from every other show

from every other year that you'll instantly gain access to. And then that money that you use, that you give each month goes to the shows that you love, right? And then it also goes to Max Fun, so that they can support the shows you love. So across the board, you becoming a supporter is good for the art and artists that you love. And I say art with our show with like quotes around it.

Don't worry about it. And there's lots of different levels. Rhymes of the art. Thank you. Justin, do you want to tell us about some of the other levels? Uh, yeah, Trav. If you want to kick in at the, uh, which one did you do? I said $5, uh, $5 a month over 500 hours of bonus content.

Well, how about this? For $10 a month, you get all the Boko. And one of 37. The way you said that was really rough to hear. Boko. This is the French way. Boko. It's Merci Boko.

You get all the, uh, uh, the Boko. You also get one of 37 reusable stickers designed by a artist, Olivia Fields. Um, it says artists. It clarifies artists, Olivia Fields. It would be weird if we got someone who wasn't an artist to get these designs. I think that would be very bold of us. Uh, they're scratch proof, weather proof and UV protected for outdoor use.

Nice. Uh, they're really cool designs. I really, really, I think the designs are radical. You also get a, uh, a fancy letter press max fund membership card. Um, it says it's ideal for flashing, which I don't know. You tell me. That's wild, man. I don't know.

I don't think it's going to get you out of whatever jam that got you into, but I guess it's ideal for flashing. And there's other levels above that, uh, as well. There's $20, 35, 50, 100 and 200, but we'll talk more about those later. Uh, we have some stretch goals that are going for it. We reach, uh, this number of new and upgrading members. Uh, if max fund does. Yeah.

If max fund does at 5,000, we're going to be releasing episode six of the MbemBam TV show commentary. The final. Uh, the final one with, uh, our pal, Sadie Amato. Uh, not for, don't say for now. Okay. Uh, 10,000. We are going to release the extended video.

Oh man. I'm not wild about this one. The extended video cut of MbemBam episode 641. The naming of the year episode will be released. Watch us viral into panic. Yeah. I was about to say it's, it's like, it's like watching how the sausage is made, but it's more like watching how the Wilbur's are killed.

It's pretty brutal out there. Uh, and, uh, we're also doing a, if we hit 15,000, a BYO. This is my idea. A BYO P pizza party stream. That's Justin's. The ultimate incentive. Bring your own pizza. Pizza party.

We can't send you. Watch three grown men eat pizza on camera for your money. I'm just excited to eat that delicious. I've never had pizza before. Yeah. This will be Travis's live reaction. First pizza. Can you imagine?

You're trying pizza for the first time at this Costco. We're squatting in this abandoned pizza hut. We found all the ingredients. Go to maximumfund.org. And please, please help us keep making this show. We love doing it so much. And it's cool that it's our job because of you all. Thank you.

Would it, would it help if I told you, would it help you to get to maximumfund.org. I told you that I was bitten by a brown recluse spider. Wow. I mean, yeah, I was. And I feel like that deserve, I have the wildest looking bite on my hand. And I feel like we've had a very complex history with spiders.

And when I, when that, when I got that terrible wound, I thought, well, at least my max fund friends are going to be there to pick me up after this terrible defeat. After getting bit by the terrifying brown recluse spider. I thought that kill would kill you. A lesser man. Yes. That's okay.

You do have that. No, I was, I was almost certainly wrong about that. No, I have that. Correct. It would kill a lesser man. I don't think it juice. I think as far as poison ability goes, you are in my mind right over the plate, straight down the middle.

I, hey, I agree with griven here. I think you are, you represent. I don't, the like median. Median. Poison ability. If I lined up all, you know, nine billion people that live on earth or whatever, and they said, find the middle one based on poison ability, that would be you right there.

The one difference is the one difference is they came after a thick guy. Okay. That's one of the advantages of being a thick guy. You better get those fangs in deep because it's going to take a lot to bring me down. If you're going to, if you're, if you're, if you're assassinating your friends, if you're assassinating a thick king, poison

ain't the poison. Poison ain't the way. Poison ain't the way. Poison ain't the way. Poison ain't the way. And so that's the max fun drive in a nutshell. Frankly, you can also upgrade. If you're already a supporter and you're like, you know what, I

love these shows more and listen to more shows, whatever, or it's really sad. What happened to Justin? It's really sad. What happened to Justin? You can go, you can upgrade. You can be kind of move up to them next level and get some more rewards.

Why don't you do it right now? While you're thinking about it, maximum fun.org slash join. Not for the show, but you guys got to look at this. Oh yeah. That's a bite. That's a bad bite, man. Brown recluse almost died. Didn't can't.

Maybe you tell me. Possible. Hey, can we approach the wizard's mighty countenance and prostrate ourselves and hide beneath his garb? Ask forgiveness for our many trespasses upon his draconic laws. Yes. Oh dear wizard.

Our wizard is an awesome wizard. Shevon's at this end. Shevon, thank you for the submissions. You've been crushing it. It is how to run a teddy school. How to run a teddy school. Can you say the one word that's confusing again? How to run a teddy school.

Like teddy bears. Okay. Have you ever wanted to run a school for your teddies but had no idea how? That's an interesting, let's pause there. That's an interesting way of thinking about how the human mind works. Have you ever accepted the idea of teddy school?

Yeah. But to have no, just the frame of it, but no content filling the actual idea. What if there was a place where there was like structured time for my teddies to in some way, I guess, better themselves. Yeah. But I don't know in what way. And then you just hear sirens.

So loud inside of your own mind. Got too close to it. That's the whispers of madness that exist in the dark part of all of this. That's one of my favorite Lovecraft books. Teddy school and the whispers of madness. Teddy school. You can even try running the teddy school with your friends

for some extra fun. This article will give you- This article will give you- Much work. Are you kidding me? Are you sorry? I'm going to be a school admin for fun. Yeah.

Good luck dealing with all those teddy parents. You can even be on the teddy school board with your friends. I don't want to ban these books in teddy school because there's too much about stuffing in there. This article, Travis, will give you information on how you can start a great teddy school. Okay. First, got to get prayer in there, obviously.

Keep your grades up. Keep their grades up. Keep their grades up. Their grades up. 10 teddy bear commandments, obviously. Step one, stop joking. Step one, decide which grade you will teach your teddy bears. Ask yourself what grade you like.

You're not going to start at the beginning? No. This is- You're just going to drop your teddy in the middle of fifth grade with no bear? You are assuming that the teddy school you're going to be putting together for them is their very first educational experience, which I think is pretty close-minded. It would be like if you showed up to teach 11th grade social studies and then you pulled out like a ball and a piece of paper with some shapes on it and you were like, I'm

new here, so we're starting over. No, Griffin, I think it would actually be like if I looked- if I had like a 12-year-old in my house who had never been to school and I know that because they live in my house and I've seen them the whole time and then I was just like, you know what? That's not quite the same thing, though. Okay. Choose what classes you'll hold. Do you want to teach your teddies to read, write, and count?

Math? No. Too much power. Math? What about spelling? Create a lesson plan. You could have English. Maths.

Science. PE. Fashion if they are. Build the bears. Handwriting. Art. History and geography. Your choice.

Yeah, because legally they're the only ones that can put little clothes on a bear. Yeah. All bears can wear clothes if the clothes are the right size. Yeah. If the bear's big enough. Also, what about Spanish? French. German.

Spanish. French. Others. Gorilla warfare. Yeah. No. Again, we do not want the bears to understand, you remember the Ewoks? Yeah.

That's how they won. Yeah, but they won against... Oh, I always forget that Justin is a dark side apologist. I'm just saying that you represent the dark side as the taskmaster of the school in this scenario. Yeah. Decide the recess and lunch times when they will be and how long they will go for. This is just as important as the classes.

Yeah. Create a timetable. How long do teddy bears need to eat? How long do teddy bears live? I bet lunchtime is your parent's least favorite part of this whole thing. Yeah. Making your bear... The part of the day where your child stops teaching their bears and makes them all pretend

to eat is probably the worst part of your day. You turn prices right up really loud during that section of the day I would mention. I wish I could have been there when Paddington first came out. So all these parents that are so tired of washing the sticky faces of their children's stuffy bears sees this movie that is basically the message of both Paddington films is rubs the stickiest jelly on your stuffy's faces. Yeah. Thanks for that, Pat.

I mean, Paddington's made a lot of great contributions to society. That's not one of them. Never seen it. Man, can you imagine... Travis, you've never seen Paddington? I know, man. Dude. What about...

Paddington slaps ass, dude. No, Justin, I'm not going to start with Paddington, too. I'm not a monster. Paddington, too, slaps ass, dude. They're some of the best movies ever. He gets into hijinks, but he like changes basically everybody's life that he comes in contact with. I just watched Citizen Kane on a loop, guys. I don't know what to tell you.

I'm a real high class moviegoer. I can think a few bigger gulfs of this sort than the gulf between what Paddington made me think Marmalade would be like. Yes. And what Marmalade actually was. Oh, Paddington. Paddington. Oh, Paddington.

You fucking snowed me, dude. It's so bitter, Paddington. Have you never had Nutella, Paddington? Try Nutella, my dude. Try anything else, friend. It's so bitter. It's not good, okay? I think the peels are still in it?

Come on, man. I think they made the peels in it, Paddington. It's so bitter, Paddington Bear. If you love Marmalade, I assure you, it's equally as weird to email us about that now as it would have been five minutes. Correct. Yeah, you shouldn't email us about that. Did the author of Paddington read Winnie the Pooh stuff and he's like, okay, well,

he took honey. What's another thing? He claimed racy pieces. The only thing left is Marmalade. What? Consider creating a canteen or tuck food shop for your teddy bears. During recess and lunch breaks, you could organize some food for your teddies. Provide toilet times and outdoor play sessions.

Your teddies will grow bored if they have to work all day. Does a teddy bear shit in the woods? Does a bear shit in the computer room, the special room that we make the bears go to when it's time for bear school? Yeah. Yes. Absolutely they do. And again, they won't show you that in Toy Story 1, 2, 3, or 4.

But I've heard rumors. I've heard rumors, Toy Story 5, teddy toilets, like all day, all day. Yeah. We can't wait. Yeah. Does it talk about teddy bear detention? How do you punish? Yeah.

How do you punish the bears? I'm a very strict teddy bear punisher. I believe in teddy bear discipline. I'm trying to be that teddy bear chokey. Yikes. What are you looking at Griffin that does not pass the smell test for whether or not you want to say it out loud? Well, some of it's awfully boring.

You don't know what? Does it seem right? Let them introduce each other on their first day. If necessary, organize a circle time where they pass around a special toy and say what you ask, like how they feel, what they get over the holidays. They can't fucking move. What are you talking about? You can't start this now.

Are there kids? No. It's teddy bear. The teddy bear passes the toy room? You're going to be in for quite a long wait. I think. There's a difference. Hey guys.

We've been talking about founding a teddy bear school for teddy bears. Yeah. For close to, I want to say eight minutes now. Yeah. And this is the very first time that you all are starting to bring up like wait a second guys. There's a reason. There's a reason.

Stop. Stop it. This is the first time you introduced required ambulation. Yes. Into the mix. What you have not said is like not that your teddy bears would sit there and dutifully learn about Spanish. Right.

You're saying the teddy bears would pass physically, pass an object around the classroom. It is also turn based, which is now instead of as Justin's picture, like being at the front of a class, right? Now you're waiting for the teddy bear to finish and pass a thing to the next one. What? How does that work? I don't know man. You know what?

You're right. Let's do something else guys. I don't even want to talk about teddy bear school anymore. Now, if we want to talk about teddy bear vocational school, which this country needs more of, I'll talk about that. Yes. Where's our teddy bear repair people? Thank you.

I bring my lunch to work and often I eat veggie soup as it's easy to make and I'm a vegetarian. Okay. When I eat the soup, I feel like a sloppy little peasant and I don't want my coworkers to get that impression. How can I eat soup powerfully to project an image of confidence and soup dominance? That's from Amanda from Ottawa, who prefers they, them pronouns. Well, Amanda, you've come to the right place for soup chat. How's that?

I don't know that that's true. I was about to say famously, but that might be overblowing it, but I'm not a super person. I don't consider super meal, but that's my thing. Oh, soup's a meal, but it has to be the right stuff in it. When you, and vegetables can be good when they're made in a certain way, but when you take vegetables and do them soup style, that's not it. That's wrong on both accounts. I think the problem here is if you really want to prove dominance over a slice of zah,

what do you do? You fold it in half, you house it in one bite, everyone's very impressed with your job. Cool. I haven't heard that before. That sounds cool. And you have me until the one bite part, Justin. You want to show your dominance over a bird. You want to hit your jaw.

And you slam it straight down your collar. And you just like a real wimpy. And you yell, you yell New York style before every bite. With a soup, you are rate limited by the amount of soup that you can ingest in anyone's motion. Now the only way to prove dominance is to just pound it with a lot of speed. Cool. To greedily slurp it down as though like in any movie where there's ever been somebody who is like found in the forest by a kindly person.

Yeah. And they're like, we have some stew. And there's like, this is the way they, this is the only way you can really dominate. Yes. Now let me offer another option though, Justin, because I disagree with you on the rate limited. Because what I think you need to do is revolutionize soup consumption, soup out of a tumbler. And you can do it chugging soup. Yeah.

Definitely. Definitely. That's something. Especially if it's a chunky boy and you can do it in one. For sure. How are you doing that? Especially if your tumbler says something cool like captain of soup or a master of soup or a soup doctor, PhD, something like that where you can really let it go.

What I love about tumblers is they can say stuff on them. Yeah. That bowls simply cannot. Bowls usually don't unless you're slurping from it and on the bottom of the bowl. Yeah. It's written like. Caught you looking. Caught you looking king of soup.

Caught you looking at my soup, huh? King of soup. King of soup. It's a big bowl. King of soup. Yeah. For sure. And it's a picture.

There's a picture of you on the bottom drinking soup with the bowl upturned. And on the bottom of that is another phrase that says something different about like how's your how's your walk with God? Bigger spoon. I mean. No. Bigger spoon makes you look like more of a sloppy peasant. I slotted spoon.

Slappy peasant. I would say dainty your spoon is actually a better way to go because a sloppy peasant isn't drink isn't eating soup with a dainty like very decorative like the end of the spoon is like a peacock feather. Yeah. Have someone feed the soup to you. Okay. That's that's not sloppy at all.

No. And it literally is showing dominance over another human being when you say like I saved his life in the war and now he has to feed me soup every day from 12 to 1 he has to be here. He has a life outside of this but 12 to 1 he has to feed me soup. Hey, what are you doing in here? You don't work here? Why are you just feeding that guy soup?

I just he seems like he's cooler than me. Yeah. He seems like he's cooler. I saw him on the bus and I was like, damn, it seems like the right thing to do. I got to feed that man soup. I'll ask. I'll ask him. Where are we at on boba straws?

Oh, the problem is you risk a slurp noise, which I think instantly drops you down like three sloppy rungs. Yeah. Slurp noise. Okay. In America, there's other countries where the slurp noise is actually great appreciation. Yeah. You want that.

And I believe in Japan, a nice slurp noise is considered like all my compliments. This is highly slurping. I guess I think it does depend what you're slurping down. But yes. Yeah. What about me, Justin? Makes you think that I am both capable of and should comment on other cultures. Like what about me, Travis McRoy?

Are you like, you are grasping onto this one. Thank you very much, man. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point. Slurping soup from a tumbler. And you're like, Travis seems like he's super cultured enough to know about whether slurping is cool in Indonesia.

I'm actually kind of cheating to bring up cultures that aren't America on the show. Yeah. You're right. Sure. I mean, people have to have been eaten soup out of a tumbler, right? Like truckers or construction worker or surgeon. Or maybe a thermos. I mean, a thermos?

Where are we? We keep saying tumblers like thermos don't exist? No, I don't want it. But thermos is different, right? Because thermos to me is like, it's a container. It has the lid you can drink out of. And as you said, it has been used by people for decades. I'm saying like you pour the soup.

Travis is to a tumbler. And special soup cup. Yeah. Cool. It won't be called, Travis is right. It won't say thermos on the thing. It'll say, Travis is cool soup cup. For starters, for starters, I'm pretty sure thermos is a brand name and they are not going

to allow it. They won't allow that. You won't know what it is when you see it in stores if it doesn't say Travis is fast soup cup. Yeah. Yeah. For boys. Travis is fast soup cup.

For boys. He put it right next to the chicken soup for the boys. For the boys. Next to it. And it's like, and if you really want to shoot this shit down. Yeah. Like a man. Like a boy.

How about a soup strainer? It's like a thermos. But the first thing you do is you unhook the lid and there's like a collard or top and you turn it upside down. So you're separating broth and bits to have like a two course meal? Not separating. Down the sink. It's like that.

Ow. Now I just have sort of a wet dinner. You know what I mean? Or a wet lunch. Or a wet lunch if you prefer. Soft lunch. I mean, maybe a wet appetizer. Ah, thank you.

If you don't believe soups and meal. A wet fourth meal. Hey, before we get back to all these chuckles. Right? I'm having such a good time. Oh, so many chuckles. But first, I need money. And so I'm in deep.

I can't talk about the difference. It's not important. Don't worry about it. But I do want to tell you. Dr. Guhart has Travis's nuts in a vice. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to talk about it too much, except to say I kind of like it.

So this year we've got the remix of what you talked about. And last year, if you listen to the adventure zone, Charlie verse, we've got adventure zone Charlie verse two. Cartoon. Was it? Yeah. Okay. Cartoon, cartoony, or and cartoony's.

Sob. Cartoon. Yes. Oh, thank you. Cartoon. Yes. Sob ones did medical questions for kids on shmaners. We did like the history of memes with special guest,

Amanda Brennan, who is known as the meme librarian. And on wonderful, uh, Griffin and Rachel, uh, talk about Stardew Valley with Rachel playing Stardew Valley for the first time, which is very exciting. Uh, and that's just this year's. There's over 500 hours of bonus content from all the previous years. Um, we also, as we talked about, have the $10 level where you get the Boko and a reusable sticker of your choice from all of the 37 shows for $20. You get that and, uh, the max fun culinary kit or a rocket embroidered hat.

Um, absolutely beautiful. Both of those. The culinary kit includes a max fun family cookbook, uh, and it features recipes from us and, uh, you get max fun flavor spice blend. Uh, at $35, you get all of that, uh, and a maximum yum apron, which has artwork designed by Sabrina Volante. It's gorgeous. There's other levels above that.

Uh, if you're already a max fun supporter, maybe consider upgrading your support level to a higher level to support us even more. Can I hop, can I hop in? Please do. Yeah. Yeah. Please consider supporting us in the maximum fun drive. Uh, we really have been able to do everything that we've been able to do because of this

drive and the people who support us. But I know our listeners, they don't care about what's in it for them. They care about supporting independent capital A art from three capital A artists like ourselves. Maybe the appeal that we do every year, dear listeners who's listened since the beginning and still hasn't become a member. Um, our moral approach isn't working. What if I told you that by supporting us, you become a fancy patron of the arts, like some sort of Duke, um, or like, you know, vice president.

I don't, other sort of citing powerful positions of people who are like, you like that art? You're welcome because I am supported of it. Uh, and so you can go to your friends who are all fans of our products and they're like, Hey, did you listen to the latest Mbam-Bam? And you can be like, yeah, you're welcome. Uh, because I'm the mad Duke. Who loves supporting art? I love supporting.

I think Griffin was trying to come up with a name there. Like a cool Duke name. And couldn't think of a name. A name. I'm the Duke flame heart. Flame. Yeah, fuck yeah. I'm the, I am.

Flame nugs. I'm Duke Nightblade. And I'm a supporter of the Maximum Fun Network. I'm a patron of the arts. Um, and if you want to be cool like me, go to maximumfun.org slash join. I don't think that approach I just tried is also going to work, but it's worth a try. I think it's worth, you know, we've been doing this thing 12 years. You got to throw some spaghetti at the wall sometimes.

Yeah. So if you want to be like, if you want to be like Duke Beyblade, you can go to maximumfun.org. The high Duke Beyblade. Love's our South Park styled and inspired brand of twisted fucked up humor. How about another question? Sure. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na. Okay.

Ba-la-la-la-loo-loo. Yeah. Ba-la-la-la-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo. I want a munch. Squad. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. I want to munch. Squad.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Welcome to Munch Cards Podcast. This is the podcast profile of the latest and greatest in brand eating. And there's been so much going on. Yeah. Since I've been, I've been, I was ill for a while and then I was out of, out of pocket, but now I'm back. And guys, I just want to, I want to catch you up on what's happening right now.

Please. Yeah. In the world. Number one, Chipotle has added chicken al pastor. Thank God. To menus worldwide. Yeah. Worldwide drop.

Okay. And I believe that's Spanish for the religious chicken. Isn't it? Yeah. No, it is. It is a flavor of chicken. Oh. That you can have.

Chicken al pastor is a new, craveable. This is key. Protein at Chipotle featuring the savory, satisfying flavor of adobo, marita peppers and ground achiote. Can we all agree? Pineapple. I don't think you are. It's more inclusive of non meat based ones.

But whenever you refer to them as proteins. That's bad. That's off-putting. That's not great. We need to think of a better term. Yeah. Yeah. Than to just say like, but which protein do you like?

Meat. Meat. Meat. Maybe we just call them thick food. Thick foods. The, okay. The, according to a recent, now this is weird because they were like, we got a new flavor of chicken.

If you want to try it. And then they realized they've only written two paragraphs. So they're like, oh God. Okay. According to a recent report, al pastor is one of the fastest growing Mexican dishes. The same report also indicates that 43% of consumers choose to dine at restaurants with menu items that they cannot make easily at home. Yeah.

Or do not make at home. Wow. Really showing a lot of the thought process here Chipotle like, according to you guys, you like this, but you don't want to make it. So we know. Yeah. The weird thing about that is that 57% of people is like, I could make this. I just don't.

Yeah. Don't get me wrong. I have a vertical meat grilling spit. Yeah. I could absolutely. I could for sure get this done. So they tapped in the consumer trends to bring friends a new second time they've mentioned this craveable menu innovation to spice up their go to order with a uniquely Chipotle

al pastor presentation. And then it breaks it up. It comes in a metal bin that someone with like plastic gloves, they kind of reach in and then plump down on a burrito. Not going to get that anywhere else. No way. This is where this is where I start to get a little confused by this. It's finished with fresh lime and hand chopped cilantro to create a well balanced flavor

with just the right amount of heat Chipotle's new chicken is juicy and aromatic with slightly smoky notes and a hint of fruitiness that evokes the flavor of traditional al pastor in a delicious way. Can we talk on this for a second? Is it chicken al pastor? Or is it you calling something chicken al pastor and just getting why just blacking out in the booth? Because it sounds like they're saying America's wild about this way of preparing chicken.

We're going to fuck it up. We're going to fuck it up in our own special Chipotle way cheap, cheap way to do it. Justin, your concern is that the restaurant chain Chipotle might not be serving accurate to cultural like origination versions of Mexican dishes. Is that you're worried that perhaps Chola Chipotle isn't doing the due diligence to absolutely nail authenticity? To catch up with Taco Bell, it would be a really long road. Oh, I like that word.

Make it a pizza. Yeah. I'm going to do that one, but French fries. Yeah. We're just going to put quotes around it. No, you can't do that. You can't just pick up. I love that word.

I'm going to make it into a hamburger. I'm going to make up. We're going to even make up our own words that just sound like they're those words. What? Yeah, we're going to. We're squished a couple of them together, but it's really just a pizza burger. You can sleep at Buffalo Wild Wings. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, man. You can do that. Yeah, but that's so they got some new flavors. Buffalo Ranch and Honey Garlic, both of which sound. Really good. Okay. And you have a chance to say the new B&B dubs. No.

So you don't lose a minute of your March Madness time. Thank you. Don't have to see my family's faces. I don't have to deal with my boss harassing me. I don't have to deal with like my pets that I love very much. It's just fucking wings. Yeah, baby. Wings and sleep.

Hold on. I want to see if I can. Yeah, I can show a picture of this to you guys because I think it helps a little bit for you to see the kind of space. So it's like March today as we're recording this is where it is happening. You guys got your brackets in? Oh yeah, man. You got your brackets in?

Yeah, man. I turned my bracket in four months ago. That's great. Yeah. Oh, that's really bold. Yeah. So it's like a cool, looks like a bed. There's two beds that are spaced so far apart that no one will ever accuse you and your

friend of being romantically linked. These two beds could not be further apart, bros. Don't worry. There is enough room for the Holy Spirit in between these two beds. Can we talk about what's in the middle? I'm sorry, Griffin. Can we talk about what's in the middle? Yeah.

Talk about what's in the middle. Yes. Well, we have, it looks like two lockers for your basketball jerseys to go into. And then there is what looks to be a mini bar made of different sort of chicken sauces. Yeah. That's cool. Perfect for guzzling. With the large and big, bold letters.

Sauce across the top. Don't get it twisted, guys. This isn't a drink station. This is a sauce station. There's one across the room that is the same sort of design, but above it, it says medicine. And so you don't want to get confused, your medicine goochier with your sauce goochier. Now, it also does look, if we look in the corner here. Like you are enclosed in a human zoo.

Yes. And people coming to the regular Buffalo Wild Wings is going to be like, what did those people do to get trapped in there? Look at them sleep. Are they romantically entwined? Oh, no way. Their beds are 360 feet apart. It's also, you got to think it all the way through to the moment where it's like, it

starts with, yeah, we won. I can't believe we won. And then it's like, look at this room. This is amazing. All the chicken wings we want. Okay. Cool, cool, cool. It gets to be like 10 p.m.

And the employees are like, well, bye. Bye. We're going to lock up on our way out. We're going home. We're going to lock you in to this so you can do whatever you want now. Whatever we want. And there's no bathroom in there. Bye.

It's no bathroom. Your options are, I lock you two in here alone tonight. Or I stay here all night with you. Those are the two options. Also, it's haunted. I should have mentioned that. Also, I eat buffalo wings all day, every day. And I cannot control what happens with my body afterwards.

You all want to have a slumber party with me, a basketball themed one. And also, if you guys don't mind, if you could take care of inventory for us and maybe deep clean the kitchen while you're here, because there's nothing else. Basketball games stop at a certain point in the evening and then you're still just locked here and they don't start again till a certain point in the day tomorrow. And we don't open till like noon. So in the morning, I guess make yourself some chicken wings for breakfast and maybe clean up around here.

So are you ready to leave now? We didn't set a checkout time, which seems like an oversight on our part. I don't even have time to tell you guys about the chicken and waffles ice cream. That one just sounds good. Yeah, I'd eat that. The way they put it is kind of fun. Baskin Robbins is entering the race for the best fried chicken with a deliciously. Now this is CHICK apostrophe.

Whoa. Yeah. With a deliciously deconstructed brunch classic for its new flavor of the month. Chicken and waffles. Chicken and waffles. Chicken and waffles. We can't call them waffles either. Eat our ice cream.

It's the March flavor of the month. It features buttermilk waffle flavored ice cream with plenty of crispy chicken. And then it's an asterisk. It's like it's not chicken. It's not chicken. Don't be stupid. It's just an waffle flavored bites drizzled in a decadent bourbon maple syrup flavored swirl. It's the latest scoop from Baskin Robbins.

It's a must try for adventurous eaters. Just say it's bad. Hey, just say it's not. You're going to say it's a must try for adventurous eaters. Just say it's not good, but we really over committed when we bought the ingredients. Please eat it. Yeah, that's the perfect punishment ice cream for when you lose a bet to stinky Doug. Sweet, savory, creamy, and crunchy.

This scoop delivers breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert. All in one bite. Good. I'm so, I'm so fucking tired of finding different foods to eat for those different things. The unique ice cream has been expertly crafted to mimic the taste of fried chicken. Oh, but the best part is it contains zero percent real chicken. Is that the best part to say the best part of this ice? I say that about a lot of ice creams.

I enjoy the best part of this. No chicken. Thank you, Ben and or Jerry, whichever way you guys decided not put chicken in this. Highly, highly support. It's stuff, man. How's the flavor? Do you like it? Can you tell me this tastes this good and there's no chicken?

Fish, fish food? Man, I would have put chicken in this. You guys did the right call. I loved Rocky Road before, but now I really love it now that you somehow managed to do it with no chicken. When I walked in this frozen yogurt place, I was so afraid that there would be chicken bites as an option to scoop on top of my thing and it would have freaked me the fuck out. And you guys didn't do that to me.

So I'm a customer for life. I appreciate that. Thank you. At Baskin Robbins, we pride ourselves on bringing innovative flavors to market, which is why when we saw the growing popularity of chicken and waffles on menus. 20 years ago. I was going to say, we waited a couple decades like sane people who run an ice cream restaurant and then eventually one of us blacked out the booth and we fucking did this crime.

We knew we'd have to create a bold flavor that would change the way our guests enjoyed chicken and waffles. And in the meantime, we put this out. Yeah. In the meantime, we put this out. The best thing about it is there's no chicken in it. This flavor is a frozen twist in the iconic brunch dish. Yeah.

It would be cool if it was like this one isn't frozen because real chicken waffles isn't so we didn't freeze this either. Slurp it down. Idiots. They've also got a cake with eggs on it. But that's anyway, that's what's going on on the squad this week. I know that's a lot to get. I didn't even tell you about some of the Shaq stuff happening in the world today.

God damn it, Justin. I can't take that long off. I know, but you also can't mention. You can't say Shaq is like a reverse Beetlejuice where if you say his name one time, I just want to know. That's not a reverse Beetlejuice. That's just like one third Beetlejuice. That's quick.

That's fast Beetlejuice. Yeah. Yeah. It's hyper Beetlejuice. That's what the commentator, the basketball commentators used to say when they would see him playing, they'd be like, damn, he's just like fast Beetlejuice out there. Oh, shit. My coffee spilled on me.

Justin took like a 10 minute long bathroom break. Why? Before much squad started. Why? Why do you have to? Well, because I thought that you were going to come back on with like facial prosthetics, like spirit glued to your face. No, I gave Daniel two shots to make it work and it's not going to happen, I think.

Yeah, man. There's way to sell. And that was nice. That was fair of you, you know. Yeah. Most people would have given him one shot. One. Well, okay.

I gave the real Daniel Day-Lewis one chance. Yeah. Daniel Day-Lewis and Poster and they were both equally entertaining. Yeah, sure. I figure we're done. We're done here. But as soon as we're not asking people to support us in the Max Fun Drive, you better believe he is going to be acting a fool out here again.

I cannot wait. I don't know how I did. Okay. What level of support do we have to get before Justin kills Daniel Day-Lewis? Before we wrap up. I have to say, I spent a not inconsiderable amount of time over the past week thinking like, would it be worth working really hard at like a Daniel Day-Lewis, learning everything about Daniel Day-Lewis, like really, like would that even be, but the more I thought

about it, I feel like no matter how much work and time I put into it, the reaction I would get from you guys would be like, wow, you really put a lot of time and effort in this and not laughing. No. Well, laughing wouldn't happen. It would be funny. But that's fine. Like we do so much for laughing.

Yeah. Like basically everything we do on this show is for laughing. And so I think it would be cool if we tried to go for like other. Not now. Not right now. Not right now. This is not a threat. We are not putting, we are not aiming this future bit in your direction, sweet listener.

But Justin, can I just say, I bet I know someone who would be a big fan of that play of action. Of learning very deeply how to impersonate Daniel Day-Lewis and that would be Daniel Day-Lewis. He would love it if someone had it. It's hard to have a Daniel Day-Lewis that isn't a Daniel Day-Lewis character. Yes. Right? Yes.

And that's why he does it. That's why he does it. That's special way he does it. Yeah. Anyone can pretend to be Edwin Oilman, you know, whatever, Daniel Plainview, is that right? Hey. Maximumfun.org slash join. Please consider becoming a supporter of us and the stuff that we make and the other

shows on the network this year. We have lots of great stuff for you. $5 a month, you're going to get over 500 hours of bonus content, including that Buck Wilde mixed up episode we did this year. $10 a month, you get the Bo-Ko and one of 37 reusable stickers and I'm going to let her press Maxfun membership card. There's other kits that you can find later, I mean, further down for more money, but no matter what level you're able to support us at, just that you would be willing and able

to show any kind of support at all means more to me than I am capable of expressing with human thoughts and words. It's transcendent. It's on a whole other plane, guys. I'm vibing on a whole other level with our listeners right now. Maximumfun.org slash join is the link. We also want to make sure you know the video on demand for the virtual live show we did on Friday, our first 20 son and C show is still available.

You can get that at big.ly slash mbmbm virtual, so go check that out. That's going to do it, Travis. You actually have to wrap up. Yeah, I got it right here. I got it right here. Perfect. I'm going to respond to that call of duty doing more than others expect. This is what excellence is all about, and it comes from striving, maintaining the highest

standards, looking after the smallest detail and going the extra mile. Excellence means doing your very best in everything in every way. Jack Johnson. What, really? Did you see that coming? Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

My name's Justin McElroy. Is it maybe a different Jack? That could be a pretty common name. I'll say this. All of these quotes are completely without context to me. I have no idea when he said that and about what. He could have been talking about rolling doobies. Badass.

My, I'm Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. He's been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad. Square on the lips. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh