My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 660: Non-Fungible Tote Bags

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

This episode is absolutely not sponsored by Alpha Legends 16: Fingers of the Resistence, the best mobile game about backpack management and customization. But if you use the special code TravIspoWeRninety-nine, you're guaranteed to get Jansport or better. That is, if you're good at games. You have to be good in order to spin good.Suggested talking points: Don't Tell the FCC About Podcasts, Butter Slaps, Heard, Chef, 'Speriment School, Be Careful with Genies, One Degree from BeansBrady United: https://www.bradyunited.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? You're a precious friendship. I could've never seen what was coming for me, hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach, my life, it feels love. My life, oh, oh, oh, oh It's better, it's better with you. My life, oh, oh, oh It's better, it's better with you.

This is true, oh, oh, oh It's better, it's better with you. My life, oh, oh, oh, oh It's better with you. Hello and welcome to My Brothers, My Brother and Me, an advice show for the Modron era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. Oh, come on, come on. Oh, sorry, come back to me. Okay.

I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. Travis, what are you doing? Oh, sorry. I just had to finish beating the Dark May. I've been kind of, have you guys been playing Alpha Legend 16's Fingers of the Resistance on iOS and Android? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh my God. Yeah, I'm playing it on iOS and Android. Usually at the same time, two different devices. I'm like one of those like old retirees who walks around playing Pokemon Go on like a huge organ of 16 different things. Well, it's just the gameplay is so immersive and they have like fully customizable backpacks.

And it's available now, you know, it's just $2.99 a month. Oh, it's a play. Have you played Legend of Backpack, Mr. Pocket's Revenge 16 on iOS and Android? No, I haven't played that. I've just played Alpha Legend 16's Fingers of the Resistance available now on iOS and Android. You can start playing now from any of your devices.

And you know, I'll let you guys in on something special. Oh, okay. I have a code that you guys can use if you want to. Oh, cool. Yeah, what is it? What does it code give me, Travis? It's gonna give you 20% off your first backpack, Griffin. Oh my God.

Now I heard a lot of ads. Oh, sorry, what's the code? The code is TravisPower99. So a lot of these mobile games, they show you the ads and you think, wow, you get to match gyms to make babes fight zombies, but then you play it and it's like Sudoku. It's just a real-time strategy sometimes.

I heard that this game is like a real one. Like this game's for real, right? Yeah, this is a real one. It looks just like the ads. You do match gyms to make babes fight zombies, but that's in the bottom right corner. Mostly it's about backpack management and customization. But I also heard the gotcha mechanics

are a little predatory in that, even if you spend like $100 on a trillion gyms, then you don't even have a guarantee to get a five-star power chance. No, actually, Griffin, it says... Sorry, I mean, in my experience, there you get the best one every time if you use the code TravisPower99.

That's capital T. You're not reading this. No, of course, this is just from my experience because I'm a big gamer. And I love Alpha Legend 16s, colon fingers of the resistance. And if you... Are you saying the word colon?

I just want to make sure that that's clear so when people type it in. And just to be clear, it's capital T, capital I, and then the W is capitalized. And only one of the R's is capitalized. And you ride out 99 with a hyphen in there. And that's gonna get you 20% off your first backpack, guaranteed to be Jansbord or better.

Yeah, have you played Mr. Dinosaur? I don't know that one, Griffin. I only play... I bought a phone specifically to play Alpha Legend 16 colon fingers of the resistance. Yeah, I checked that one out, but I like Mr. Dinosaur, and there's one called Balls. That one's cool.

Those games, it says here, are shit compared to Alpha Legend 16 colon fingers of the resistance. All the major gamers are playing this one, Travis, Tony Hawk, all of us. I heard that a lot of, I tried to download, I think I had the right name of it. It was Alpha something, but it kept making me top up

and I had to keep paying for more credits and I never hit a jackpot ever. Yeah, well, that'll happen if you're not good at games. I mean, if you're a new... No, your ad said that I was supposed to hit a jackpot within 11 spins. Yes, there was an asterisk there where it said, if you have the skills, at the bottom I'm gonna say,

if you're not a noob and you have the skills, so how do you... Jocelyn, if you're being honest with yourself, and I mean really looking at your heart, you got the skills? I don't. Yeah. Okay, I don't.

Now I'm looking at Wienersoft's other games on these marketplaces, Travis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have to raise Umbridge with some of them because it's like, I'm starting to think maybe they're not above board. Oh, wait, why? Just sort of with the title.

What do you mean? Well, it looks like you can get this one bundled with Cuckhunt. Yeah. Travis, I don't think that this is a developer we should be supporting with our money, with our... Well, I would say it's more of the other way around, Griffin, to be fair. You sound like an idiot.

It's free to download, Griffin, I'm sorry. It's free to download. Oh, really? It's free to download, not pay to play. Now, I will say... It's not pay to win. Well, earn credits while you're at it today. I'm sorry, Justin, from my experience,

I'm specifically experienced to not say it's not pay to win. Okay. My specific experience. Okay, so when Travis has played the game, he didn't pay because he got all of his own free gems and he did win. So by Travis is very limited by the narrow sliver of light through which Travis is watching you play this game.

It was cool for him, it says on the sheet. It says on the sheet, it was cool for me and kids love it. Yeah. And another thing that you're gonna appreciate parents because you've been there, no gatekeeping to let kids make purchases through your phone, right? We don't, they don't do any of that stuff where it's just like, oh, prove your age

before you purchase these gems. It's a one-click thing, it's not gonna bother you at all. Yeah, from what I saw on there, it said go ahead, squirt, raw dog it. And you can just buy whatever, whatever you want. Whatever you want. There's a game that they have on here, Travis, where you do actual surgery on Mario and Luigi.

Yes, correct. That's one of the, my more popular, it's one of the ones I enjoy the most. There's, I have a code for that one too. If the code is, it's a me, pancreas, 99, spelled out. They also have Angry Birds. Yeah, on the phone, you can get them both. Oh, that's impossible.

Capcom just bought Angry Birds. Oh yeah, no, the Wienersoft just bought Capcom. Yeah. From all the money they've made, I mean, from all the good vibes they've gotten from how much people love, sorry, one more time. Is this a good vibes on the sheet, Travis? Yeah, it says good vibes,

bought Capcom because of Alpha Legends 16, calling fingers of the resistance. Fingers of resistance, excuse me. It's gonna be so shitty when the FCC starts regulating podcasts. Oh, don't even. It's gonna get really shitty for us from a like fungible and legal standpoint.

Please, nobody tell the FCC about podcasts. They're still like kind of, they're still like kind of in a tizzy about streaming in general. Yeah, Griffin, just to clarify from my experience, don't worry because the backpacks you earn in Alpha Legends 16 are non-fungible. So you don't have to worry about fungibility at all.

It is, the game makes them non-fungible. Each backpack is unique and designed by Banksy, it says. In my experience. It has non-fungible tote bags, is what you're telling me. Yes, exactly. That's fantastic. That's actually very good, Griffin. Thank you for that.

Thanks, thanks, Juice. Yeah, thank you for that, actually. Travis? Put a sticker up on my chart, Justin, for my great joke. Good joke. Hey, Travis, Sonic the Hedgehog bought Angry Birds last week.

How much do you think, is this dude that makes Angry Birds, or basically is just Angry Birds, how much do you think Sonic the Hedgehog had to pay to buy Angry Birds in this, the year of our lord, 2023? And keep in mind, he doesn't have very much money. He just has the money.

He's a forest animal. He mainly has the money he started with. He is Sonic the Hedgehog. Does it include the hit film franchise of Angry Birds? I mean, you would own the key. God, this cast is stacked in this flick, though. Sadakus? Sadakus, Dinklage, Josh Gad, Bill Hader,

Myrudeov, Danny McBride. Damn. I'll take it. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say $2 billion. Well, okay, you kind of messed it up. $160 million. No, you're both incredibly wrong.

$775 million for Sonic the Hedgehog. Hey, Travis and I almost split the heck out of it. We're like as wrong as he could possibly be. Now, to be fair, Justin, I'm guessing 90% of that value is all just like socks and like stress balls and shit. You know what I mean? It's a bunch of unsold merch that they have lying around. This is an advice show.

We take your questions and turn them out and be like into wisdom. Don't forget, one more time with the code because I feel like we didn't hit the code enough, Travis. Oh, thank you very much. Travis Power 99. Okay. And the game title was?

It was Alpha Legend 16 colon fingers of resistance. You read that. What? You read that. I saw you read. I know the face you make when you read. No, I was looking at a picture of myself giving a thumbs up to remind myself how much I love the game.

Okay. I don't think that's true, Juice. I think he was reading that. That's okay. I want Travis to get it while the getting's good. And if that means Travis gives. But how come he gets money for this and we don't get money for it?

That's so we don't have to take care of him. This is from my Twilight years, Graven. This is my nest egg. That's true. Okay. That's his nest egg. Mine's these stocks. These beautiful stocks.

Nothing ever happened bad with stocks. I did buy the stocks of companies I like. And the only thing I like is weed. And things are going very good over here. Right. From a monetary perspective. Kids. I'm pretty sure we're insider trading now.

So this is again. Kids, there's still time. There's still time. Do not tell the FCC about this medium. Graven, are you worried that Justin, the ground floor of weed stocks and then the ground floor keeps being lower than I previously assumed.

Yeah. It's a new ground floor. You can't get it on the ground floor again. As long as this is indeed the ground floor. And as long as you never sell. Never sell. It's like the money's not gone. It's like the money's not gone.

It's still there. You can't realize a loss unless you sell. This is. Exactly. Listen. Take it from me. This is an advice show. This is a real advice show that the FCC cannot

and must not know about. Just buy as many stocks as you can. Eventually. It'll. Eventually. Welcome to Sad Money. I'm your host, Justin McElroy. And I'm here to talk to you about the Stonks diamond hands,

baby. Oh good. Come on. Stonks. You don't have anything else for this character. There is nothing else for this character. This character walks off screen and completely, it's like Truman Show just disintegrates.

It wasn't a character. Speaking of having nothing else for this character, Justin, it's time to play that intro. It feels good to see the world get enlivened. The world wants to see the world get enlivened. I don't know about you, Sack Noel. I don't know about you, Phenom. I don't know about you, my shadow.

And Mr. Nickname. So when I was listening to the recording of your theme song and I heard you say, it's Mr. Nickname. That was in the recording. Yeah. That wasn't me. I actually commissioned that from Mr. Worldwide himself. And he said, of course, anything for another Mr.

And he said it to me. Now, welcome to Mr. Nickname. I didn't hear this intro audio, but I bet it sounded pretty cool. Seamless. I want to say thank you to everybody. As I had hoped, got a lot of people writing in ideas for Mr. Nickname 2.0.

So I've just sent Justin and Griffin two halves of a list. How did you solicit these? Oh, remember I did a bad version of it on the episode so please help me fix it. I don't remember Mr. Nickname as being one of your more successful colleagues. It wasn't at all, but it was like a hurt puppy that people wanted to take in a nurse.

So they sent me better vids. You could say what you want about my brother. He's got the courage to fail. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is it still courage? Ah, okay.

Yeah, all right. So I've sent you guys two halves of a list for Griffin. You have the names we know these people by, the commonly known names. Now Justin, you have the nicknames to match them to. We're going to match them up. Now eagle-eyed eagle-eared viewers will know that Justin's list has five names on it

and Griffin's list has four. That's because two of the names on Justin's list will match up to the same person. Oh, wow, okay. Yes. So first, Griffin, read your names. This is not going to work. Read your names, Griffin.

Snoop Dogg. What is the book? Okay, I'm going to read all of them. I'll go, wait. Snoop Dogg. Us reading all of them negates the privately emailing the list of names. It's fucking psychotic Travis.

What the fuck? There's that part first. This segment is almost becoming art by the bad students. The bad students design of it. This is the only time Griffin and I could not know these lists. No, here's what we'll do. Griffin, you read the commonly known names, right?

And then Justin, I want you to say, like, I think this one is Snoop Dogg. No, but stop. But why did we need to split the infrom- Why did there need to be an infrom- Mostly so that you guys would have to say these names out loud a lot. Okay, Griffin, go.

Snoop Dogg. Calvin brought us. I think it's Brody's. No, that's the real name. That's not the name I sent you, Justin. These are not the names I sent you. Yeah, I know. I just, I wanted to say that that's our,

we're already at Nickname territory. Yeah. Okay. Stage name is different from Nickname, Justin. Stage name is different from Nickname. Another confusing point that sort of undermines the whole point of the, of the whole exercise. Kind of feels like you guys aren't buying in.

Keep going. All right, Griffin, it feels to me like you're not buying it. I'm buying, Travis, when you say that, like, I'm buying it. You're buying it. Okay. Snoop Dogg. And then Justin says what the answer is.

Just keep going. Do I get to play? Keep going, Griffin. I don't know what the answer is, but I'm gonna say, I think it's Funk Doctor Spock. Gin of BTS, which is behind the scenes.

I'm gonna say Todd. Okay. Drake. That's Champagne Poppy. Red Man. Or Redman. Mr. Shoulders.

I think what's happened here. I want you to know something, guys. This bit is a profound success for the two people that you are currently recording. This bit is a deep exploration on the craft work. It's a meditation. It's like an exploration. It's a meditation on the craft of developing

the bits for this podcast. Yeah, it's Dada, baby. This is Dada. But it's good for me and Justin, because it's like this is, you are doing workplace humor for me and Justin. Yes, there we go. But here's the thing that you have to understand

about Travis. Travis has the courage to take a bit into Skunk Works. And the only way to know if Skunk Works is to do it with us, his brothers. And people don't get, these aren't the segments. No. The segment is Travis R.M.D, baby. Is the machine.

Yeah, and sometimes we tell him to take the bits to the wet works. And then as he does it, he scoops it up in a little cup and takes it outside. And he's like, you're free. But then it does come back into the house. Sometimes we ask him to get Anton Chagrin to come and use his bolt gun.

Just you. Yeah. Okay, so Champagne Bobby is Drake. That is correct. There's a, can I tell you, did you want, it says here, go behind the answer and tell everybody how you knew that. I very recently.

That's crazy. Cause my email just has like four words on it. Well, I recently watched the episode of Atlanta where they were at a party that were, she was at a party that she thought Drake was at. And the episode was called Champagne Poppy. Now, who is Funk Dr. Spock? Funk Dr. Spock is.

I must have gotten that one wrong, right? Can I do, can I say this? I know a little bit about three of the names on this list. I do not know about Gin of BTS. So I'm going to say that's Funk Dr. Spock. Incorrect. Red Man is Funk Dr. Spock. Shoot.

Now, who is worldwide handsome? Gin of BTS. Correct. Yeah. Who is Todd? Who is Todd? Who is Todd? Snoop Dogg?

Snoop Dogg, yes. In 2014, Snoop Dogg created an alternate white guy persona named Todd. God, that's good. Why? What was that for? Was that for his Twitch channel? I have no idea, bud.

Now, one left. Mr. Shoulders. Drake. No. Mr. Shoulders is another nickname for Gin of BTS. Wow. I guess, well, now I got Google's fucking warlocks. Let's see.

I don't want to say special thanks to Shea, Jared, and Quinn for sending those all in. I thought that went seamlessly. Seamlessly. Wow. Wow, yeah. I can't look at these. I can't look at these fucking kids in BTS.

They're gorgeous. So gorgeous. Look at these shoulders. These shoulders. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. You could, you could, you could, wow. You could hang laundry from these.

You could use it as a level. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Vimsham Shoulders. These guys are handsome. What is Gin's Shoulders with? 60 centimeters. I would not doubt that anybody on in BTS is handsome.

It's just the, these shoulders are so huge, y'all. Yeah. And there's a, can I say something else? Just, there's a lot of pictures of these guys online. Yeah. People really like looking at them. People like pictures of these guys. Yeah.

I get it, man. Cool looking dude. Yeah. These shoulders are. I only know butter, but it's slaps. Right? Yeah. I mean, it's good.

Every time you're happy. I love butter. Butter slaps. Hey, can we do a question? I'd love that, Griff. Six episodes left, by the way, till the devil comes here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Indeed.

Just want to mention it. My office. We gotta stop doing the show. We gotta stop doing the show before the dev, man. Wouldn't that be a twist? Yeah. That would be such a twist. It's like, guys, we can't do it.

It's a lie. We put it in the no-no box with episode 420. And then just one day, we just knocked those out. My office has an, there was a certain segment of people. Most people probably didn't mind that. There was a certain segment of people that bothered a whole bunch. Which wasn't many.

The people that were where we skipped a number. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think that's probably pre-irritating for people, I would guess. Sure. My office has an open floor plan with cubicles. Whenever anyone sneezes, it's met with a chorus

of enthusiastic bless use. Yes. Today, someone sneezes in the bathroom. Should I have blessed them? Or do we ignore any bathroom sound making as an unspoken rule? Let's go. That's a good one.

Thank you. That's a great one, actually. That's a great one. That's from Sneezin' Season in Philadelphia. Boy, howdy, is it ever. Oh boy. Yeah, the dust particles are crazy crazy crazy. Well, I'm gonna, can I throw this out to you?

Cause I, I, this is what first came to mind when I read this question. These two syllables before it, you're in the cubicle, you're in the stall next to the stall, they sneeze, right? And then you go, hey, bless you, right? And with that, hey, you're acknowledging so many things. Right?

Like. Oh, you're saying that that's good. That you would be like, hey, you like that. Yeah. You like that it's, you like to couch it like that. Because otherwise, if you just come out swinging with, bless you, no, no, no, no, no, no. When you don't say it like that, you know,

you wouldn't say like that. You wouldn't, you would be like, bless you. No, you know, you wouldn't say it like that either. Bless you. Bless you. Have you ever blessed, Travis, have you, I know that you're not like a church guy, but have you ever blessed anyone?

It's, it's gotta be, it's from the spirit. When you give a, listen guys. Yeah, please. When you give a blessing, it has to come from inside. It can't come from up here where you're like, how should I say this good? Bless you. It's gotta be from the, like the hip.

From the hip. Yeah. From the hip, straight from the hip. But it's gotta be also from the heart. The hip, so. The hip, the heart, and the head? No head. Not the head, no head, just hip and heart.

And, and so when someone sneezes and you wanna give them, a lot of people don't take this seriously enough. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. When I give you a blessing, you'll know. Ooh. You'll remember. You'll definitely feel and experience it

in the way that I intended. You might wake up with strange bruising. That's part of the blessing. Yeah. Griffin is correct in that you can't have a second's hesitation, right? If they sneeze. Bless you.

Because then they can be like, that was weird, but I guess it was reflexive. Right. Sneeze and they just sort of should, yeah. Plus add the moments after you sneeze, everybody's sort of like, whoa, whoa. Yeah, right? When they notice, really.

You're barely there. You wouldn't have a second to say like who said what or anything. Human instinct is as such that if they didn't reflexively say bless you, that would be weird. The ball, my friend, is in their court of do you say thanks when you're in the bathroom stall.

Cause now that's premeditated. Unless you live in the Midwest, in which case it's never premeditated and it is again like a reflexive sort of instinct. But do you say like, that was weird that someone blessed me through a bathroom stall. They can't even see me. So how's the blessing energy supposed to even get here?

Is this a nice way of people saying, hey, I'm here. Yeah. You didn't have to do that a lot. I worked out of my house for nigh on 15 years now. I would give anything to sneeze and just hear a voice. Just hear somebody say like, good job. Or like, I got you.

Or like, not a weird one. Maybe that's kind of what the bless you is like, normal. Yeah. Normal sneeze. Good sneeze. That's a thing all humans do. That's a thing. We do that.

It's fine, don't worry. Sometimes I say it when people fart in the restroom. You know what I mean? Just to let them know you're safe here. You gotta be super careful because some people's farts sound like sneezes and vice versa. Yeah.

But I think if you fart in the toilet room, which is the safest room to do it, we should be allowed to say bless you for that too. Which is such a like, that doesn't make any sense. That like, it's okay to do it there. Don't do a bit. I'm gonna ask you a question right now. If I said to you, hey, you can't say bless you,

but you have to communicate what you're communicating when you say bless you. What would you say instead after someone sneezed? Well, how would you, don't do a joke. How would you? No, no, no, this is real. Okay. So you sneeze.

Uh, too. Heard, chef. That's pretty good. Ha ha ha ha ha. Okay, honest to God, this is what popped into my head. Wait, hold on. Uh, too. Nice one.

No, that's not what a blessing is. You don't always mean nice one though. And you're not actually blessing the person. What you're saying is like. We all know the fucking entomology of it too, where it's like, your heart stops and so you don't want people, but that's not a fun place to put it. I'm saying this for all the people

who are now frustrated, again, for the second time in this episode. It might just be like acknowledged, right? It might just be like acknowledged, right? Travis Sneeze. Achoo. If I don't say this, it's weird. Yeah.

Ooh. That's it, right? If I don't say this, it's weird. Yeah. That's it. Achoo. And also with you. Yes.

It's just simply like, if I don't do it, you'll be mad. So I gotta do something. Yeah. And this is, and I'm not, I know it's crazy. I know if I had to pull something to say to break the tension, I know it's wild that I would pull kind of a religious thing, considering everything else in my life.

But that is what I've pulled to say to you. Bless you. There's a lot of call and response things in society and culture that if someone doesn't do, it's not bad, but it is like, oh, leaving someone hanging for a high five, right? But this is someone unintentionally, as a reflex response, raise their hand for a high five,

and you don't high five them back. I guess if I were to go through my own internal thought process, the meaning of bless you for me, when it's not coming from the heart and the hip, then it's not like an actual blessing where I give them some of my religion power to them. Sure. It's like, Jesse, go ahead and sneeze.

Ah, too. You made a loud sound and it didn't scare me, but I forgive you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. I forgive you. I forgive you. That was a loud sound you just made.

It's okay though. I'll allow it. I'll allow the loud sound you made, and I was scared for a second, because I thought that some loud killer had gotten into the room. Anytime you hear someone wind up a sneeze to really let one rip,

there's a millisecond in your mind where you're like, somebody's screaming. Somebody's screaming. Right now, near me, somebody's screaming, and a lot of stuff in my body is producing sort of hormones and stuff to get my body ready to fight or run. Especially if they take a big run up at it. Yeah, for a second it's like someone's yelling

because they're being hurt or they're in terrible danger, which means I am too. And so when the chew comes out, a bless you is almost like, oh, thank God. The relief. I have another question. Now, listen, this one's long, Justin, but bear with me. There's a twist in it that I love.

Woo! Yeah. I'm a research assistant in a psychology lab. We bring in human subjects and put them through different situations so we can make conclusions about how the mind works. Since I began working here about a year ago, there's been a frog hat sitting on a coat rack in the lobby.

It's a very cute hat, looks crocheted, and it has a little frog eyes on it. I look at it every day and recently I've considered taking it. The problem is there's a camera watching the lobby at all times. I'm not worried about you yelling at for stealing. I'm worried the hat is a trap. What if this is a psychology experiment and I've become the subject?

What if the entire point of the frog hat is to lure someone in? What if I take this hat? I reassure them that all humans are inherently selfish stealers. What do I do, brothers? Should I just take the hat and become the subject of my peers' experimentation

or must I endure the torture of passing by this abandoned frog hat daily? That's from disastrously distressed in Delaware. Now, I want you guys to really think about it, really because it occurred to me the specificity of a crocheted frog hat, right? If you're the person who owns that hat and you bring it in and you put it on the coat rack,

what are the odds that you walk out of that building unaware that you passed it several times? Yeah, no. Like that you never thought like, oh, I'm walking out the front door of the building not wearing my crocheted frog hat, right? You'd notice. Yeah, that's part of your identity,

I think at that point, right? That's a key part of your look. It could be like Doug Funney hanging brain, you know? Like no Doug, you know? Yeah, if Doug Funney walks out without his khaki shorts and he's going commando underneath this, we all know he did. Thank you.

It was a funnier way of saying he doesn't have his pants. It's like a funnier way of saying it. Is that why Claremam wore his underwear on the outside? Because he wasn't wearing it to begin with. I know. Okay, I get it. I get it now. One thing you could try is just announcing loudly

that you know it's a experiment. Yeah, yeah. Like an experiment has failed. It's a experiment and I know about it. Hey guys, experiment over. I know about it. Immunity. And the date is fucked.

The date is fucked. Your date is fucked. I know about the experiment. How many times a day when you are enrolled at this, how to get away with murder style competitive experiment school, are you allowed? Are you allowed to just sort of blank fire? This is an experiment.

If someone is wrong. If someone is too attractive for you, ask to kiss you if you meet them at a certain place. As you're walking in, you're like under your breath like, I know this is a experiment. I know this is a experiment. Like you can't get me. I know it's a experiment.

You see a chocolate bar on the ground? No way. Sparement experiment right there. Just fucking small talk. If somebody's like, yeah, what do you think about class today? It seems a little unnecessary, huh? You're like, nope, experiment. Experiment.

You're trying to get feedback from me. I actually think Trump's starting to make a lot of sense. Sparement. Sparement. Nice try though. You're not going to peer pressure me into the sparement. Hey, but good on you for still believing that the sparements end at the doors and walls of this building.

Because man, if I were you, I'd just assume they've infiltrated every aspect of my life. So good for you to not let it extend beyond that. Because pretty soon, you know, you go somewhere and they're like paper or plastic and you're like, sparement, sparement. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What would you, what would happen if you fucking took the hat

and then like there's a poster hanging on the wall that is hollowed out behind it and John Kignone just jumps out. Gotcha, mother fucker. This was the, and he's like, this was the longest one yet, but I fucking got it off. Worth it. People have been asking, where's that show, John?

I said, I'm on a long grift right now, guys. I'm deeply committed. He's looking at the hat more every day. Every single day. And then you say, yeah, man, it's had there for a year and the school year was about to end and I figured they'd throw it away if nobody took it, slide took it.

And Kignones is like, well, damn, yeah, no, that's fine. Actually, that was a, I was a cool thing to do. Ah, fuck, yeah, you gotta be careful. You gotta be careful. You did it. At sparement school, sometimes you'll see something and you'll be like, sparement, and then the red light will flash to let you know you were wrong.

Yeah. You can also just say, Kignones? Yeah. And then if John Kignones is there like doing one of his sparements, slash pranks, then that also nullifies that. What if you can get huge points for that one? What if the sparement is that it's like testing

to see if anyone's brave enough to take the cool hat? Okay, so it's a courage thing. Yeah, it's a courage sparement. Well, Travis, when you put it that way, all acts of theft are pretty courageous. Yeah. Like, what do you do? That's not yours.

You courageous. But you're not taking it for a minute. At this point, it's been a year. That hat has been abandoned. No one's come back for that hat. Are you going to let that hat sit there unloved, unwanted? This is a compassion sparement. When I was robbed at gunpoint at GameStop for PlayStation 3,

I remember looking at the person who was doing that to me and saying, that's very, this is very, you must be pretty scared right now. This is a hugely courageous act that you are performing. Now Griffin, I would take it and turn it and say, it's a little bit different because no one's wearing this hat and the reader's not like, the listener's not like, I'm going to approach them with a knife to get this hat. This is more like if you had a stack of PlayStation 5s sitting out in the rain

for a year and the sun and the wind. That is a better, yeah, that is a better way of doing this. Here's what you can do. Make this sparement on them. Yes. You walk up to the hat, make sure you're on camera, and you cry for like a couple minutes every day. And then if they don't say anything, after a week,

you look up at the camera and be like, this was actually the sparement. Sparement. I took it over. You didn't ask why I was crying at this frog hat. You're trying to get me to steal. It's my sparement that you're in now. And here is my hypothesis.

And I have proven it with a control group and other peer reviewed research is that Michael is an asshole. Can we go to the money zone? Yeah, I'd love to. Come with me. Come on, come on. It's better. It's better with you.

Squarespace. It's better. Yeah, let us think again. Don't be scared. Soaking that. Come in here. It's been too long since we all just allowed ourselves to sit in the square space together.

You know what I mean? Sometimes we do jokes, right? And they pay by the second. So like when we soak in it, we're also soaking in money. Yeah. And you know what? A very exciting McElroy news. This is a huge business development for us.

We've recently purchased the URL Disney.dad. Wow. The possibilities. You say we. That was our team. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

It was Sarah who did purchase that one. So I don't think that we can just sort of. But as a business move for Big Giant Head, this was a McElroy strategic investment. It's business strategic business. It's business, right? And the possibilities of what we can do with Disney.dad We need to now settle within the next three days

because you've now set it on our podcast that is broadcasted out to the world. Fuck, you're right. All right. Anyways, thank you, Squarespace, for providing the tools to develop Disney.dad into what I assume is going to be a new phase of our careers. Phase four.

Phase four now with the new Falcon and the Winter Soldier series. You're going to love this shit. It's great. We're bringing it back season two. This time they fight Loki. Honda Vision. And this is a new one that's going to make us a lot of money.

Yeah, eHonda drives the Honda. It's pretty great. You're going to love it. That's really funny. It's a good bit. It goes for 18 episodes in a movie. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Please, what have you do it?

I'm off the rails. Yeah, I mean, you haven't really set a single copy point yet. So we are stopping, starting from scratch here. But it's an all-in-one platform for building your brand and growing your business online. You all know it's about Squarespace. It lets you stand out with beautiful websites and engage with the audience.

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All their websites are optimized for mobile and content automatically adjusts so your site looks great on any device. Maybe you have some fucking weird experimental 24-inch wide by 3-inch tall, like mega-mondo phone. It's a belt and you have to take it off every time that you use it. Your website's going to figure it out, probably.

That may be a somewhat extreme example, but again, the FCC doesn't listen to and regulate anything we say on here. We are gods. We are gods. But go to squarespace.com, my brother, for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code, my brother, to save 10% of your first purchase

of a website or domain. Squarespace, we are gods. Squarespace, become gods. Like under gods. We are like under gods. Like under gods, lick under god. I have socks that I love. Can you say that?

If not, it may be time for you to, hey, if I'm doing a good ad, girlfriend, I need you to just calm down. I'm trying to hype you up. I'm also rocking them. Oh yeah. They look like this fun color. We love bombas around here.

And they, we wear them all the time because they're really good. If you've been denying yourself bombas, I don't know what you're waiting for. You should love yourself enough to get a pair. And you're not just loving yourself when you get one of these beautiful, seamless, tagless, effortlessly soft.

That bothers me because I bet a lot of people put a lot of effort into making them as soft as they are because they seem beautiful. Yeah, but the socks aren't doing it. The socks aren't doing it. Really sturdy too. I don't think I've lost a pair of these soldiers to holes or other sorts of fabric degradation.

The big items for bombas, socks underwear, t-shirts, they are the most important items in shelters for people experiencing homelessness. And for every one of these beautiful babies you buy, bombas is going to donate another comfy item to someone in need. You're loving yourself. You're loving your fellow person.

And what better way could there be to spend your sock budget? Go to bombas.com slash mybrother and use code mybrother for 20% off your first purchase. Bombas.com slash mybrother code mybrother. Trans representation in media is at an all-time high with trans entertainers gracing the screens large and small. But trans voices, especially black trans voices, are rarely centered in our own stories.

That's why we bring you a new limited series called We See Each Other the Podcast, co-hosted by me, journalists, and better half of the Maximum Fun Podcast. Spent time. Treville Anderson and me, award-winning journalist and media personality. Charge us out.

All of it is based on my book, We See Each Other, a Black Trans Journey through TV and Film. Now listen, folks, we're having a very different kind of conversation. It's giving kitchen table talk. We get into the discourse, honey. Tune in to We See Each Other the Podcast

at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get slay worthy audio. The Legend of Zelda, Tears of the Kingdom. Diablo IV. Final Fantasy XVI. Street Fighter VI. Baldur's Gate III. Starfields.

Spider-Man II. Master Detective Archives Raincoat for Nintendo Switch. No, is that just me? It's a huge time for video games. You need somebody to tell you what's good, what's not so good, and what's amazing. I'm Jason Schreier. I'm Maddie Myers.

And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast for anyone who likes games. Find us at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye. I have a wizard. Oh, let's go visit the wizard.

We're... There. There. Hey, so thank you so much to Megan for sending this one in. It's a great WikiHow article that I think... Some of these that I do, I think it's just funny, but it's not useful.

This one is how to show off your muscles without it seeming intentional. Thank you. Are you looking to impress friends, a date, or people at work? Yes. Do you want everyone to notice your hard work in the gym without seeming like an arrogant jerk?

Yes. Take these less obvious routes to get them to see the gun show. This is a type of experiment. I feel like that everyone does for their favorite bod part. I'm always trying to find ways to sneak my calves into the conversation. I've noticed that.

But not at first, Griffin. I didn't notice it at first. Tasteful. Yeah. Very tastefully. You got bolder and bolder, though, I think, was... When I just... When we were doing the bombazad,

and I lifted up my foot to show you all my sock, when I rolled up my pant leg and then applied lotion to my calf, and I was like, sorry, guys, I got to do... The doctor says I got to do this. The doctor doesn't say I got to do this. You need a new doctor.

I've been meaning to actually talk to you about that. You do need a new doctor. I'm actually between doctors right now. I moved to D.C. Like a sandwich? I went to Fauci's office, and he was like, I don't really do this kind of stuff anymore.

And so I was like, well, it's you or nobody, so I'll die. I'll say, I said, I'll die without you, Dr. Fauci. So balls in your court, I guess. And this is a standing offer on the podcast. Who does Biden say? What is what?

Get Biden's guy. Who's Biden? Fauci? I assume Biden sees Fauci. Probably. Romantically. Why would you want anyone else? He's the best doctor.

All I'm saying is whoever they got for Biden, I bet he's pretty thorough. Let's just say that. You don't want to slip past that age, that position. I bet he knows what he's doing. I bet he knows how to get. I bet he knows how to keep it.

Oh, man, a lot. And thinking what he could do for you. Yeah, sure. You know what I mean? If he starts doing that stuff now, 175, easy. I wish, that's what he says to Biden. I wish I'd gotten you in your 40s, man. Oh, man.

I wish you were alive forever. I'll be straight, man. I did not think you were ever gonna win president. I would have started earlier. I thought you were too old, honestly, but. Honestly, that was my whole thing, the age and just sort of the way that you ran, I was like, no fucking way.

I should have gotten in early. But hey, man, one term and out, right? But what's that? What's that again? Oh, God, I got to step it up. Hold on. Holy shit. Let me go get the plutonium.

There was a doctor that when he heard that news, did have to stand up and walk out of the room. Take my name off it. Take my name off it. Somebody call the secretary of nanotech. We need to elevate the game a little bit. So showing off with subtle motions. Do a face wipe.

Is it a bit hot out today? Wipe your face with the bottom of your shirt to show off the ab muscles. Make sure you have them flexed before you lift your shirt. That is important. Rookie mistake. Be careful you don't get a lot of sweat on a cotton t-shirt or else everyone will notice a big wet spot

when you lower your top. Some people like that. Yeah, that's something that works well. This move works well in the gym when you don't have a towel handy. Or anywhere. If you don't have a towel handy, you could just hit them with a...

But it's risky though then because I lift my shirt to wipe my face. It comes down no wet spot. And they're like, why did you do that? What was that about? That's a good point, yeah. And my fucking radar is always looking for deception in this style.

If I see a dry shirt when you wipe your... What did you just wipe off? Was there a bug? Yeah. If there's bugs in here, you have to tell me. If I'm at the gym, as I put the little weight, as I set the weight, I'll kind of hook the bottom of my shirt into it.

So then when I pull down, it rips my shirt right off. And I'm like, oh man. And you have to keep... And every time you do it, you're like, oops. Right, lift it, whoa, whoa. Yeah, I'm getting peace every time. Yeah, you could perform a arm fold.

Slowly fold your arms across your chest. Oh yeah, that's a good one. And push your wrist up a little bit. It does say to push your wrist upward a little bit. I think they mean, Griffin, putting your hands underneath the muscles, not grabbing the muscles and twisting them upward. Like this, Griffin,

you're putting your knuckles underneath and pushing up. That's not what you're doing. If you want to push the biceps together, there's better ways to do it. You don't push them together, Griffin. It's not cleavage. But it does accomplish the same thing. I guess.

An arm fold is a strong body language move. It conveys confidence. Yeah, that's why genies do it. Yeah, I can grab a wish. That's why genies do it. Yeah, fucking no problem, pal. What was that, Justin? That's the noise.

That's the noise a genie makes. That's the noise a genie makes. Yeah, they do it with their mouth too. They're like, what do you want? Million dollars and be a prince? Sure. Not enough people use conjunctions in their wishes, by the way.

I wish for a million dollars and... Yeah. Yeah, you gotta be so careful with genies, guys. Yeah, thank you. Pretend to stretch. Why not really stretch? Yeah, that's interesting to me, because I don't know how to do that

without accidentally doing it. Yeah, right? Just really stretch. Just good for you. Flexibility is important. My lifestyle is as such, that there are many things that stretch my muscles and bones out that maybe don't

qualify as that for other more active people. Sometimes a stretch can be picking a towel off the ground. Good stretch. I definitely limbered up with that one. Griffin, did you just get a fitness notification on your watch while doing this show? No, I did get a doctor's appointment notification. Hey, man, it's me, Anthony.

Notice your blood pressure was rising while you were sitting there in your chair. You need to come in there. Griffin, it's me, your muscle doctor. They're looking so wild, man. Almost too big. I'm worried about it ripping the skin. You need to come in?

A lot of people also don't realize that you can do the shirt fold up and then fold your arms over it to showcase more than one goods at the same time. Because if somebody sees me flexing my calves, they're like, yeah, so what? You have calves that are great. Everybody's got that one body part

that kicks ass for whatever reason. You got to show them at least two to let them know the kind of work you've been doing in the gym. Abs and delts, trelts and bies. Perfect. Hey, can I throw this out? This is one that always works for me, right?

While they're not looking, pull the front of your shirt up over your head, right? So you look kind of like it goes and then shrug really hard, right? So now you're throwing off abs, you're showing off biceps, and you look confused. And now they're going to help you, and now dialogue has started.

Yeah, roll your pant legs up to show off your calves, and then when someone looks at you funny, just shrug really hard, like how hard you can. I don't know, and then you're showing off your traps. You're giving them upstairs, downstairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that. Is this good? Is it, what is this showcase?

Your neck? Yeah, it's kind of flexibility. Yeah, that hurt the last one I did. Interlock the fingers of both arms. If you're wearing a t-shirt or a tight fitting top, interlock your fingers while facing the target audience. For extra flexing, keep your fingers interlocked and flip your hands around so your palms face upward.

Yep, so I was at the, oh, I was at the market. I don't think it's like what you're doing, Griffin. And no offense, but you look pained when you did that thing. Yeah, well that was a terrible stretch that I just did, and a tear. Sometimes those two become the same thing also. But it's like a casual like folding the hands behind the head, and like, yes, I was at the market.

Yeah, look at that, hey, look at my muscle. I was carrying three watermelons. Travis, you can't actually flex people. Yes, I look at them all the way. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. You can't actually flex your muscles during this bit, Travis. Oh, I'm not, sorry, that's just, I guess that's just... Travis, it sucks.

Some kind of twist here. It's just us doing this, it's just us here. It's just us talking, it's just us doing this. It's just, I got this pain, right? Yeah. It hurts so bad. Sorry, what were you guys saying? I posted a photo of me on the Tron light cycle ride

from Disney World that the shadows of that virtual place gate were as such that they, the way they crested over my arm meat was exceptionally flattering. Yeah. And I don't post a lot. We could say a lie. I don't post a lot. It was natural photo shopping, go on.

I don't post a lot on the gram. And so people, I feel like don't have a great idea of what I look like at any given time. And I love that. That's great for me. But a lot of people, a lot of the comments on this one are like, damn, I didn't know Griffin got swole. Now, I'm scared to be represented visually with my bare arms out at all

because I want to keep that mystery. You got to live in it, yeah. That's fun. That's, I'm not, I have no intentions for having that seed planted in people's minds, but it feels nice. You should, I think one, another option you're not even considering is maybe you cashed that check, cashed the check that you wrote with the picture. Yeah.

Oh, it gets and gets strong. Or alternatively, whenever I post pictures of myself for major life events or anniversaries or memories, I do go ride the Tron light cycle run ride. Yes. And so it's like me and Henry just graduated high school and we're side by side just like, I love you son. But I am, you know, they're out. Yeah.

They're out. They're out there. Um, I, okay. I wanted to tell you guys, this is not really a bit, but I didn't want to tell you that we've got some new competition out there. This was surfaced to me on Facebook and good on them. You know, for, they got my number. Yeah.

Facebook never done anything wrong. Go on. Yeah. Good on them. They got my number. The brotherly love podcast. Oh, yeah. I saw this.

Did you see this? Yeah. Yeah, man. Is it Joey? Is it the Lauren? It's the Laurences. Joey, Matt, and Andy, your friends. They got Andy?

Yeah, man. They got three brothers and they're coming for our lunch. And they all look more attractive than us. They all look great. Their podcast is, they're in the thing called Podco, I guess is their network, which has a podcast called even more Stevens that features Christy Carlson and Mono and beans on the podcast. That's what, that's what we're, they could get beans.

They're one degree from beans, these Lawrence brothers. Okay. Guys. I heard, I heard, I heard on the, I was on Insta, I think, and I saw Matthew Lawrence telling a story about how he was a kid and he barged into Robin Williams' dressing room when Robbins was having his time where he just is not feeling great about everything. And just to store up the comedy juice and a kid barged in and Robin Williams stopped to explain, I can't compete with that.

Yeah. But unless, unless, unless, unless we listen to every episode and then we do the stories that they do on top of ourselves, on top of our usual cutting up, we just do, we can do their bits. The only famous people I ever met was Tommy Davidson at the Philadelphia airport. No, we also met, we must have met other people. No. Griffin and I have a picture with Jeff Goldblum where we pretended we'd just seen Pillowman, which he was in, but we didn't.

We hadn't seen it. I, we have a picture with Dave Chappelle, but that doesn't seem as great as it seems to. No. No, that's not fine anymore. It was a long time ago. This is a long time ago. I bet you know what sucks? You know what fucking sucks?

You know who's biceps look fucking righteous in that pic? Me. But I can't do that. I can't do that. I have a doctor's appointment. Four minutes. Yeah, both of you hold this out at minute 53. Keep going.

Let's go. But a minute. No, you're, you're right. I'll save it. Actually, let's run. Yeah. Yeah, man. No, we're not cutting that out.

We're leaving that out. That was good. That was Justin fully knowing that we had a hard ass out. The hardest out. Have you ever, for once in my life, I was just enjoying doing it. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, the energy is so good right now.

I was having fun doing it. It's a good energy right now. The energy is good and we're glad you're here for it. Should we try to like, if you can't beat them, join them? Is there any Lawrence? Like it's got to be all the Lawrence's, right? We don't need show swap. Is that something where they host our show?

Oh, listen, if you guys want to come on, we can help you promote your little podcast. If you guys want to come on. Get at us. We're with Joel Beglider, CAA. Get at us, bros. Get at us. Lawrence, the band.

That could confuse a lot of people and be very good. That would be good. Hey, listen, listen, guys, we're going to be in Columbus and we're going to be in Milwaukee this weekend. And speaking of good energy, at least two of the three of us get to drive to Columbus. And I'm so wicked excited to just be like, leave my house and be there.

Are we going to go to Coastside though? Yeah, we are. Yeah, man. We're going to Coastside. Yeah. So May 19th, my brother, my brother and me in Columbus with Schmaners and Sawbones opening. So very exciting.

My brother, my brother and me, Schmaners and Sawbones. May 19th, May 20th, Adventure Zone in Columbus, Ohio. We're doing, there's a one shot, something we've never done before, a new system. So even if you haven't listened in like six years, come on down. It's going to be super fun. You won't need to know anything except how to have a good time and, yeah, and where to find the venue and how to buy tickets.

I'll tell you that in a second. Also, May 21st, my brother, my brother and me in Milwaukee. So come hang out. Get those tickets at bit.ly slash McRoy tours. If you're coming to my brother, my brother and me, I want to submit a question. Email it to mbmbam at maximumfund.org and put the city in the subject line.

That the show is going to be at. If you have questions you want to ask live, keep an eye on our Instagram. It's at the McRoy family. We're going to post in the story instructions on how to send us those questions. One more time, get your tickets and all the information at bit.ly slash McRoy tours.

The shows are this weekend. Don't wait. Don't wait. Thanks to Montaigne for these for our theme song. My life is better with you. They knocked it out of the park with this one. Thank you to Maximum Fun for having us on the network. Thank you to you for listening.

Thank you. Just thank you. I'm full of gratitude right now. Full of gratitude. Thank you. You know, I'm reminded now of that famous Jack Johnson quote. I didn't look out in no way. It came to me.

Careful living and correct training methods aided me a great deal. But I would say straight punching was the foundation of all my success. Jack Johnson. Yeah. I'm Justin McRoy. I'm Travis McRoy.

I'm Griffin McRoy. It's been my brother, my brother, me kiss your dad square on the lips. It's better with you. My life is better with you. My life is better with you. Is it true? It's better with you.

My life is better with you. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.