My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 665: Face 2 Face: Cody-Pendant

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

Live from the best venue in the contiguous United States in Milwaukee, WI! We're giving Wisconsonites advice about becoming a city-conquering mayor, big haunted boxes, and the sexiest bird you've ever seen. Suggested talking points: Zwan Song Swan Song, Cine-Mark, 2460-Bun, I'm Paying Out of Pocket for Shipping, Un-hatted Babadook, BILF Equality Florida: https://www.eqfl.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts. And their advice should never be followed. Travis and Sis is a sex expert. But if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, as I mentioned only. So the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up you cool babies?

What? Daddy, three! It's the start of something beautiful. A small quainton has blossomed. It's rapid into a precious friendship. I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like

It's better, it's better with you My life, it's better with you, this is true It's better, it's better with you My life is better with you Hello, hello everyone, welcome to my brother, my brother, me and my show for the Majerin era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McAroy. I almost tripped over the stage lights on my way out and I'm your middle-aged brother Travis McAroy. And I'm U.S. Navy Corporal Griffin McAroy. Thank you all so

much for being here. Now, okay, now here's the thing. You all clapped for Griffin, but what he's doing is a crime. It's called stolen valor. And in Columbus, we called him out on it. And he was like, I'm just going to lean into him, doing it. And then we landed. We landed it in Chicago, and then a drove here. You've heard of it. And then we landed, we landed it in Chicago and then

a drove here, you've heard of it, and then a drove here, but when we were in the ocean, what's the five-month Chicago here? I like that. That's cool. Okay. For y'all. In the O-Hare Airport, while using the facility... Better reaction to the O-Hare Airport. I love that. That was correct. Whilst using the facilities, we were challenged. We had encountered a challenging situation.

Griffin, do you want to describe the challenging situation? And don't take too long. I came out of using the bathroom stall. And when I was washing my hands, a gentleman came out to wash his hands wearing this exact outfit. Now, not that exact outfit, because one of them was bought on Amazon and one of them was issued by the Navy. Joseph Gordon Biden.

I will say this. I will say this. I think that they teach him how to fold them right in Navy school. Yeah. I still haven't locked that one in. No, and I see also that your seam is rubbing open on the side there. Oh, shit, man. You're gonna get red enough for sure.

It's only just gonna have your ass. You're gonna be a PK, buddy. It's only May. I gotta make this thing last. Anyway, when I went outside, we saw maybe a half dozen more people. So it wasn't just one. If it was just the one guy, I could say maybe he also does a comedy podcast.

Yeah, I said out loud, and I mean, I would show my ignorance. And I said, wow, I didn't know that was still a look. Yeah, for sure. Much more troublingly, Griffin said, yeah, me neither. Yeah. Like, he is the, wouldn't you assume of your brother that he has done just the base amount of research to find out if this is in any way?

Like, before Justin wore this shirt, he made sure our bees were still open, right? Yeah. You know? Right. I also, because I love my brother, I didn't need to clarify for everyone Griffin didn't like wear this on the airplane today. No, no, no

Because I then You would know that actually because I wouldn't be here because when the real naval Officer came out to the sink next to me if I was wearing this I would have turned into a pillar of ash Instantly and blown away. No, Griffin puts it on so that he can board early. No. It changes, changes in the airplane bathroom. Here's my defense.

Is it stolen valor? Today I learned. Possibly. Yeah. But, I'm not doing anything with it, you know? everybody did you clap when Gryven said he was a core bro Then you're complicit Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you all handed him stolen valor I am also these chevrons are upside down, so it doesn't count. I am

I'm so happy to be back in the best theater in these contiguous United States. Absolutely. Now I should clarify. I'm glad you guys are having a good time. Yeah, we don't care about you. We don't care about you. On our side, it kicks ass. Yeah.

They got Miles Morales on PS5. True. They got a fucking golden team machine back there. They got a golden team machine. And like homemade cheesecake. Yeah, it's a real fucking rule. And also important to know, Patty Lebel was here yesterday.

So we did have to play her save file on Miles Morales Spider-Man. And she had already finished about half of it. Yeah, she collected all the cyber bugs. Riverside also has a never experienced in any of the theater and in-house, I was about to say, installed. And that's not the word, barista. No, it's a real person named Mason, who

is tasked with making coffee for all of us. And by which I mean like six. Yeah, so it probably makes a lot more sense for Pat and Nobel and her entourage. Right. And then it's just the three of us like another. Another just I'm just ice scoffing out the fire. I got a Coke zero out of the fridge.

And he says, fucking really? Yeah. He did. He's a sweeter. I recently moved to a little city in Wisconsin with my fiance. Almost immediately after arriving here, I met the mayor. Nice. After chatting with him at length on a few occasions, he seems to think I should be next

in line for the throne. You said he has a throne? No, he says it every time he sees me in town. I do not want to be the mayor of my town. I have nothing against the town itself for the mayor, but the more I learn about local politics, or the less I want to be involved, I know nothing about tax incremental financing

or budget amendments. What can I do to convince this guy that I should not be the next mayor? That's from where you whipper snapper in Wisconsin? Do you feel, uh, yes or no question, do you feel comfortable yelling the name of the small town just? Okay, what what is the small town? So small but famous. Still like the cheese? Is that where the cheese is from?

No that's in like England. No, I've got to get together and answer us okay? We don't know. We practice this. It's still, right? Stolten. You all have to understand the experience we are having right now is terrible. You all are so disappointed in us and also the ones doing it to us. When people talk, when people talk about having stage fright, this is the experience that they are actually

visualizing in their minds. Like, I had, it was a terrible dream. I couldn't understand the audience, and I was wearing a stupid sailor suit. It's where you're stupid sailor suit. Trying to do some light crowd work, and they all just yelled, Stol-Bull. Stol-Bull, Stol-Bull.

Stol-Bull. Stol-Bull. Stotten. Stotten. Stotten. Stotten. Stotten. Stotten.

Here's what I will say. Stotten. Stoughton. Here's what I will say. Stoughton. Stoughton. Got it. Now, here's the thing that occurs to me listening to this. If you're running into the mayor multiple times since moving there and having lengthy conversations, doesn't sound like your mayor is worried about finances or taxes either. Yeah.

Got a lot of free time to kill. I want, this, you're the person I want in the seat. Yeah. a lot of free time to kill. I want, this, you're the person I want in the seat. Yeah. Fear the man that wants the power. You worship the man that you know nothing about power. Worship the person who's like, no power for me, thank you. That's the person you fall into some sort of city war.

Yeah. Yeah, man. That's definitely what mayors do. It's what they used to. Let's make a man. No, no a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make a make mayor who's like, yeah, listen, we'll do this, but I'll sigh the whole time. There's no way you have to know all that stuff to be mayor. No. No.

They definitely will teach you how to do that stuff, I bet. You need to get people to do it. When I got a job at the country's best yogurt, they taught me how to put yogurt into a cup and get exactly seven, nine, or 11 ounces in that shit every single time. I'm sure that they can teach you how to do mayor math. Also, as a mayor, you get a staff? Oh, you have to be. I'm not sure if it's fucking second, just thought that when you're the mayor, they give you a hour ago with your throne.

And of course your viseer stands over your shoulder and curses the other enemy mails. I'm not sure about the size of the soda, but I have a hard time imagining there's like a big crew, right? Like there's probably not a deputy associate mayor of the town, I bet. You're probably handling a lot of stuff. First hand, really getting your hands dirty. Do you think that's why the mayor is like,

you should be mayor. You should be mayor. You should be mayor. I've run unopposed 10 elections in a row. What if you ran? You're with that be wild? You're new in town. He just hasn't given you the bitch yet.

Everybody who moves in is like, so you consider being mayor. You would be in is like, so you can say to me a mayor. You want to be great if you would free me from this. Can for a year, could you do it just for the story? Don't you think that would be powerful of next time you're playing two truths in a lie? You can be like, well, I'm going to fuck you guys up with this one. Never did it's common. And my third thing is I was impeached.

Oh, me? I'm a librarian, and I do a lot of school visits for kindergarten classes. Usually a couple of week. It's best part of the job. I usually only come to town. That wasn't just an editorialized. Weirdly editorialized job. No, it's just a, this is putting a little human, human flare on you. Sure. It's best part of the job. I usually pick out

books that I know will make kiddos laugh and they all seem to have a great time. The problem is every once in a while a kid will heckle after a story out of nowhere. Like I'll say, wasn't that funny? And the kid will shout out of nowhere. Like I'll say, wasn't that funny? And the kid will shout out, no. Oh, that's devastating. That story was boring. Like, come on, dude, everyone was laughing and you're clearly doing it for attention.

Brothers, how do you deal with hecklers that are six years old? That's from Dewey decimated by Thomas. In my experience of parenting, my six-year-old has started school and from time to time on her YouTube YouTube kids videos about bullying will come up and she'll ask me about you guys of like how to really nooky good. She's nailing it but she'll ask me questions about bullying and in such a way

that implies that as an adult I figured out how to deal with bullies and then you read a question like this, and you're like, yeah, man, not only do I not know how to deal with bullies, I don't know how to deal with bullies at your age. I will say, in general, for pretty much any forward facing speaking job, just don't say was that funny. Yeah. Can you imagine if we did that?

You know, in our, you know, 15-some years of broadcasting, I don't think I've ever said was that funny after I've marveled at Imagine Dragons confidence to include the phrase, is this entertaining in their song which they must perform live in front of an audience. Yeah, sure. And just...

No! Fuck! Tune your guitars! Imagine Dragons. Imagine Dragons is a kind of band that, I think on some level, knows that they have to always stay famous or else. Yes. If the scale of the Imagine Dragons production begins to decline to your county fair levels,

that dog will no longer go to the house. That's a scratch. I mean, I will say, I don't think, I don't know if I've become funnier since having kids, but I will say having a six year old heckler at home has honed my comedy into something far more interesting. Yeah. Henry will straight up say like, nah. Didn't like it. Didn't like it.

Didn't like it, dad. Sometimes Rachel will laugh at something I say, but Henry won't understand it because he's six years old and then Henry will be like, why are you laughing? You shouldn't be, that was a bad joke. If you've never attempted to explain a portmanteau to a six-year-old and then realize you have to explain the concept of portmanteau as well. Yeah.

Can't do it. You've never felt less funny than saying, well, I took two words and they shared a similar kind of sound. Gang. On the reverse side of that though. If you do know what a portmanteau is, there's fucking nothing funnier than a good portmanteau. Maybe that's true.

Squish in two words together? Come on. Yeah, it's a miracle. Sometimes words sound like other words. It's hilarious. It's not. It's really good, you guys. When that happens, when you heckle,

you get heckled by a sexual, get their information, and then wait until they get a job. It's gonna be a while. Yeah. Long game. And then you show up. I don't care what that job is. And it's their first job too.

So it's gonna be like sandwich art. First day. First day. Yeah. Ham on top of cheese, huh? Not the other way around. Are you sure? That's not funny.

That's not funny. That's not funny. And they're like, what? And you're like, fuck, I had like 12 years to come up with a better thing. I did just want to tell you to, because I don't think I've told you this yet, that Henry did tell his class. They were like talking about what their parents did

for a living. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Oh, God. And Henry told everyone that I'm a comedian. Oh, no. Which is not like the wrongest answer to that, but I can't tell you the number of his classmates

that have come up to me during like drop off and been like, hey, I heard you're a comedian. And then I immediately have to be like, okay, I love you, Henry, I gotta go! Because I know the next question that comes out is like, make me fucking laugh, old man. Yeah. Dance. Yeah.

Dance. Dance. Dance for me. Do a joke, but about Minecraft. Go! You have 10 seconds. I part of a live show once again, very visual bit. But I would like to introduce some special guests, into a special guest. Yeah.

I don't know if you don't know this, because we'd ever do it. I have got some clips of SNL hosts introducing the musical guests. I will tell Griffin and Justin who the host and the guest is. They will attempt to guess the vibe of the introduction. Starting off strong, David Spade introducing Jack Johnson. Oh, shit. Okay.

Can I just do my impression of him? Yeah. I want to do a one after. You go ahead, Greg. He's definitely like ladies and gentlemen. Jack Johnson. That chill, no excitement, grim mask of death for a face. Okay, all right.

Here's in my head what I'm seeing is like, ladies and gentlemen, Jack Johnson, like we all like him, like David Spade really likes him. Oh, I know where. David Spade's like, come on, we all can agree this guy whips. Let's go to the video tape. Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Johnson.

I mean, I didn't expect that. Now hold on. Can we talk about the face though? The bratty toddler read on that was supreme. Okay. I think I got a, he almost sold it until the face. Yeah. This was an episode of the hit show, lie to me.

He's just read his mic. But it's a micro expression for sure. Can I hear it again actually, Paul? It's pretty fun. Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Johnson. He had to take a shit and needed to do his- He was mid-shit. They're like,

David! David! David! We need you! All right, so count next. What it could it be? Rami Malik, introducing young fog. I mean, oh boy.

I don't know that I've ever seen Mr. Malik express anything above a sort of like... Yeah, I think you're getting a mellow like... He's unrolling like illegal cigars at a party like hey, I brought young fog It is like spindly fingers and the name is written on an envelope for now. I raised yesterday I open the envelope and read young this is never part of the guest But can I just add very long pregnant pause between ladies and gentlemen? Young thug I think it's long. I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long,

I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long,

I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, I think it's a long, The pause is good. The intonation. You raised me up so I can say it.

It's not, it's like he's excited, but it's also an inevitability, right? Like, and that'll happen. You're going to get some young stuff. Yeah. You do a show. Try to stop it. It's inevitable. Why this?

This is life. What are you going to do? You do a show for a big young son. I'll say this too. If that was me and I delivered it that way, I've practiced that several times in the air. Oh, for sure. You got it.

That is not a natural delivery of anything. Oh, God. You're on fuck now up next. Ray Romano. Oh, yeah. Introducing the super bands, Zwan. Right. Wow.

This is going to be fucking great. Zwan was almost certainly about to play, honestly, right? The one Zwan song. The one Zwan song. The one Zwan song. That was their Zwan song. That's Zwan song. Yes, sure.

Engage you don't know. Zwan was a Super Band in which two of the members of Zwan were also two of the members of Strashing Bunkin. So we're super bands to be like, can you imagine being other members of Strashing Bunkin? Okay, and I think we formed a super band cast, but like Justin wasn't there. Okay.

I think he's like rushing. Okay. He's like, like, ladies and gentlemen, Zwan. I think definitely loud. Like I think he's like rushing. Okay. He's like, like, Ladies and gentlemen, swan. I think definitely loud. Like, I think he yells it. He doesn't know how else to say his,

he knows if he says it in a shitty way. Like, people are gonna make fun of him just because of his whole vibe and how he does it. I think he yells like a barbaric sort of shriek. Swan! Swan! Dabra!

Roll the tape. Ladies and gentlemen, swan! Oh! Oh my god, I couldn't perform after that. If I'm Billy Corgan, I'm like, nope. Nope, nope. Do it again. No way.

Have Rachel again. No way, not do it. Say sorry to church lady, I'm not staying. I'm going home, I don't want to do this show anymore. That was very mean to me, Ray Robo. That looks great. Feel for getting his kind of a fox. Certainly at this age, definitely handsome dude.

Yeah, for sure. I mean, the chops are off the chain with this guy. Yeah, for sure. But anyway, we've got a lot of fun here tonight. Okay. But Ray Robo is a treasure. One more. Don Rickles.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Introducing Billy Idol. Nope. Okay, Rickles is giving like, why am I here? Like, ladies and gentlemen, Billy Idol? Like that. Isn't that kind of how Raymeme Alec did it though? No, Raymeme Aleik was like, Billy, I don't know.

I think he does it like, Billy, I will. No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, can I say, what if Rickles brings a little bit of like British punk to it? Like, what if, Shit. Billy Otto, like, Oh, that could be good too. That could be good too.

I love you guys, I'm so so sorry you were never gonna get this In all your years go ahead and roll it Paul ladies and gentlemen. This is my idol Billy idol singing rebel Yeah, never in a million That was the last time they let that happen That was never gonna top it Yeah, they said they fucking came downstairs after he did that. Like, okay, that was fine. I'm not angry.

But from now on, we're gonna have all the guests announce it from like the audience. Can I just say, Billy, real weird to watch you walk to stage and get ready. If you show me this image and you said, Griffin McAroy, whose hand is Billy Idle holding, you have a million guesses. And go back to the beginning, Ball,

because one of my favorite parts is way back to the beginning, where's Billy looking? Because it's not at Don Rickles, and it's not at the game, right? And it's not at the audience. It's not. It's Billy Idle looking at his agent going, what the fuck?

It's Don Rickles, it's touching me! Don Rickles is one of the most noted insult comedians of all time. I feel like this look here and his whole affectation is trying to develop like a, well that's Don Rickles the character. Yeah sure. I'm Don Rickles the man. I'm a father and husband.

I'd like to believe that Don Rickles sees nothing assailable about Billy Eidah. He's like, where would I even begin doing salt, Billy Eida? He's my idol. I'm touching him. And this is the last time that they're going to let us do.

It does look like someone's grandma wanted a photo with Billy. I. All right, next up, move it along, Gramps. That was a Travis. Can I say? I have been mixed on this bit's success

in a live environment. That was a creamy crop, my friend. Thank you. Thank you. That was a good batch. I was tempted to pull all Ray Romano things. Oh, I'm sure. But he's done like five of them,

and they're all the same. Really? There's another way. He's just done like five of them, and they're all this. Hey, me. There's another one. He's just like, ladies and gentlemen, the Cores. I guarantee you, Rermano, only listens to AM Sports Radio. Guarantee. The other night, my brother and I watched that day's final screening of the D&D movie at our local theater.

As we were like, oh, some fans, it was good. We overheard one employee ask another employee, hey, do you want any of these hot dogs? Like we were referring, oh, some fans, it was good. We overheard one employee ask another employee, hey, do you want any of these hot dogs? Likely referring to the left. You're a hot dog. Likely, likely. But not for certain. Almost certainly referring to, no.

Likely referring to the left over hot dogs they had at the end of the night. The second employee declined the offer. Brothers, should we have spoken up and requested some free dogs? Or would we, as the movie watching peasants, not have been deserving? And that's from Cody. Justin, I just had an image to connect back

to your image of Rami Malik, but this time instead of unrolling some Kuban cigars, it's just hot dogs. Yeah. Got some of my babies. There's not a night, there's not a night tried in the bunch. You can take through. This is all true.

This is pure like you. It is gonna probably go in a garbage can. That's probably its next stop and final destination on its adventure. But okay, okay, I've worked a concession standard over here. I know you have to. No, true. I'm not saying that this is definitely, they'll definitely say no to you and they'll throw it in the garbage can. I'm saying if you don't intervene, this is what's going to happen to this hotdog. Yeah, you are a food hero.

No, listen, we could talk about food waste in America to ill. The cows come home, get slaughtered and get thrown away. It's the circle of life. But my point is, there's already a built-in way to exchange hot dogs for money if you're a customer of the movie theater. Getting the hot dogs free at the end of the night is the benefit of working at the movie theater. I can't walk into an office building and be like, hey, as long as you guys are providing insurance for people, how about me

too? Alright, yeah, but okay, so you think that this would not have worked. Is that where you are? 100%. I definitely would have worked. You think it would have worked. I worked movie theater concessions before. If someone came up to me at 10 30 while I was on doing the hot dog train Which is what we call it when we go throw away the four dozen hot dogs that we didn't sell that day and someone was like Oh, those look pretty yummy. Can I have one? I'd be like I'm about to make this person's fucking life I would say take 13 baby a Baker's dozen

When we would go home at that I know you know this at the end if you worked the closing shift at the theater We worked at you could take one of the big garbage if you worked the closing shift at the theater, we worked at. You could take one of the big garbage bags and put all the popcorn in it and take it home. Yeah. And then you can put a big jar and a tella in there, shake it all around, and then sit on a bean bag chair

and get high with your friends and play Star Fox 65. That'd be cool. Or while you eat it. Be so careful. Because if you get too high, the bean bag chair and that bag full of popcorn will start to look to look going to a mix of like be careful Or comes out like flown. Yeah, I feel this is a tricky one because it it feels like It just is very clear depends on what's high the badger on on their side

That's their benefit. That's their hot dogs. Yeah, they get those. I feel like if the bus of movies comes in, and they're like, Darryl, why? Sh, let me show you this part here. I'm Santa Mark. I'm Santa Mark. And let me show you this part here. This person comes up to you with open hands, and then you get a box and start scooping hot dogs.

I'm like, it's 13 hot dogs. A maker does it. I counted, Darryl. And then you hand it to them. And it's like, it was late. I know. But there can't be an exact time after which you can get. Because that person will just keep coming earlier and earlier

till like 7th or 30th. They're like, if you check this out, if you give a mouse 13 hot dogs. Yes. Oh, man. Oh man. Oh, I mean, you gotta, it's worth it to try. You gotta try. You gotta try.

Now hold on, I know both of you. Yeah. I have seen you in there. I wouldn't try. Yes, thank you. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. If it were me, I wouldn't try. But you got to try.

I said that pretty clearly. You got to try. I said that pretty clearly. You got to try. You, someone else who wouldn't melt into a puddle of shame when the birds of course not. No, this is a hot dog shop. What if you made it kind of a joke? It was sort of like, how'd they get rid of it? I'll take them.

If you would be, there's the thing. No, try to make it a joke. This gambit would have worked. If you had the most fucking confidence that anyone's ever had in their life and you heard someone say, no, I don't want the hot dogs and you without missing a beat had said,

I'll take them, that's funny. That's funny or fulfilling. I think if you said it quick enough, person employee, they would be like, oh, okay, why they wouldn't even think about it. You're gonna say yes or they're gonna laugh, right? Do you have the hot dog raise to pull it off? You do have hot dog raise, that's a real question.

Now, will they then laugh when they say no, and then you say please, please, please, please can I have it for free? Please. What, or if they laugh and then they look at you. Yeah, and then you look at you. Yeah. And then you look at them and no one's quite sure who's joking. Yeah, that's it.

And then you just sort of slowly open your hand. Yeah, sure. And then you would slower open your mouth. Yeah. Ah. If I don't touch them, it's not a crime. I fret the Bible. I used to do this thing whenever.

Nothing about vaping, but lots of stuff about feeding other Todd thongs. I worked at Jimmy John's for six of stuff about feeding other Todd songs. I Works at Jimmy John's for six months and I never do this again. Never made a sandwich the whole time. There you go. What I would do because Jimmy John's, I don't know if they still do this, they might change it after this guy Would sell day-old bread. Yeah, and if you're an employee 50 cents for day-old bread really good if you're a college student so round about So round about 9pm I'd start making some looms. Ha ha ha ha ha! I'm expecting a rush!

Fucking John Valzhon over here. I'm brave to loafer, bro. Yes, but it was 9.55! We were halfway through mopping the store. Two faucets, so fun. I have a bit to, before we get to the intermission break, that I would like to bust out, that I have only wielded once before. Let's do a minions quotes. Okay. The way that this game works, I'm going to show you all an image of a face.

A ribbon ribbit? A boomer Facebook meme that features a cartoon character on it. I have censored out the cartoon character. You will read the quote on this boomer meme. And if you can guess who the cartoon character is, I will post it on my Facebook page, no context. The last time we tried to do this live, we didn't get any of the answers right, and it was kind of a bummer. So, at the same time, these are some pretty high risk. Can we see the first one, Paul? Politicians should wear a shot collar that goes off every time they tell a lie. What? I do also like the watermark shut up. I'm still talking behind that.

Yeah. But can you contextualize the lump? Because it is so odd. I don't think. Is it job or the hunt? Because that's the shape I've been trying. No, sorry. If you guys try to who's that Pokemon this,

based on the silhouettes, you are going to be driven wildly through the office. OK, I'm going to. I will say Elmer Fud. Interesting. You know what? I'm going to say Tweety Bird. This fear is right, this fear is.

Oh, guys. I tell you, yo, yo, I know a lot of Griffin's Facebook friends and this is about to pop off. It's about to be a whole scene over there. Now, folks at home, here's what Griffin doesn't realize. I've been doing this bit for the last like two years. I've seen some shit. Yeah, I'm fluent in these.

Travis has gotten some direct messages from some family that have shared some of his less popular opinions. They're not mine. Y'all watch a post to them. I'm about to hear from some people who have left my memory. All right, man, second one, let's go. As long as we're doing this fucking thing, let's go.

I hate snakes, especially human ones. The cartoon snake is there as a visual aid. It is not a clue of any kind. This is a wild quote. Yeah, sure. It's not a quote, really, is it? I mean, we've said it now a couple times. Yeah, sure. It's not a quote, really, is it? I mean, we've said it now a couple times. There is, I will say, wild amount of capitalization.

Yeah, they're excited. But not all the way through. Sorry, I added the big question, Mark's Travis. Those were not in the image before. No, I said capitalization. Oh, yeah, that's the different thing than punctuation. I think it's... Daffy Duck.

No, Bugs Buddy. Bugs Buddy, that's finance, everybody. Travis. Please. It's Abinian. Please No! in the air. In the air. Please, no. We're not going to top that. That's great.

Thanks, everybody. We'll be back for a second half. Thank you so much. Goodbye. It's better. It's better with you. Hey pals, how's it going? I hope you're enjoying this. I think it's a live show. Maybe a best of.

I don't know. Here's what I know. It's tough to find a doctor. It was so hard for me. I married the first one that I found. That's not true. She wasn't a physician when we got met, but the point is it's hard to find a doctor unless you're tapped into Zock doc. I don't know if you've heard about this. We've talked about it, but let's return to this important idea. It's a free app where you can find amazing doctors in book appointments online. You can search through thousands of top rated

patients, you doctors and specialists. You can filter specifically for ones that take your insurance. That's always such a freaking headache. And they're located near you and they'll treat almost any condition you're searching for. This is an invaluable tool that is going to save you so many calls to so many different doctors and just help you find the right one for you. I mean, it's a huge pain in the button. Anything that makes it a little better, I think, is well worth a shot. Go to zock.com slash my brother

shot. Go to zock.com slash my brother and download the zock.com app for free. Then find and book a top rated doctor today. That's zoc doc.com slash my brother. zock.com slash my brother. Alright, class. Tomorrow's example cover the science of cosmic rays, the morals of art, forgery, and whether or not fish can drown. Any questions? Yes, you in the back. Oh, what is this? It's the podcast Let's Learn Everything!

We'll relearn about science and a bit of everything else. My name's Tom, I study cognitive and computer science, but I'll also be your teacher for intermediate emojis. My name's Caroline and I did my master's in biodeverse Deconcervation and I'll be teaching you intro to Things The British Museums' style. My name's Ella, I did a PhD in STEM's biology, so obviously I'll be teaching you the history of fat and fiction. Classmates every other Thursday on Maximum Fun. So do I still get credit for this? No. No. Obviously, no, no. It's a podcast.

Hey, let us guess. You love books, but wish you had more time to read. Or maybe you used to read a lot, but life has gotten in the way kids grad school, you name it. Maybe you don't know where to start. And bookish social media is overwhelming. How do people want TikTok reads so many books? Oh my god, I don't know where to start, and bookish social media is overwhelming. How do people want TikTok read so many books? Oh my god, I don't know!

And maybe even reading the same book for six months and now it's permanently attached to your bedside table. Maybe you don't even know what you like to read anymore. We're reading glasses, and don't worry, we got you. We'll get you back into reading and help you enjoy books again. Reading glasses every week on maximum fun How did you guys? Things go for you all I?

Thought you were talking to us and I was like I were with you I'll talk to you two guys guys, how did it go? Pretty good. Pretty good. How about y'all? How was it? Nice. How are the lobby bathrooms?

Oh, yeah. That's cool. This is great, because Griffin and I were having a conversation in Justin's like, got a field time while I bought this on a doll's thumb. And then he cut into our conversation. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. time while I bought this on a doll's thumb and then he cut into our conversation. You really took him inside the bit on that one, Trout.

It's just that you and I were talking. We could have covered it. Just did you fit to say like, you guys keep talking so I can find my haunted doll watch. Awesome. Okay so here all right we'll go one layer deeper. I was worried. I was worried that if I went too long without talking you all would think I forgot that I was supposed to do it and then eventually you would be do something embarrassing like, uh, Justin. Can I ask, is this better than what you were worried about? You kicked me out of the layer I was in though,

and probably now, baby, you were down here talking the old Ken Watten and not me. Listen, the important thing about it is... Spin the top, Justin. You gotta find out. Important thing about it is spin the top just you got to find out important thing about it is Temporal Penser Cooper the Honodaw watch for this episode is not at all

Are we we can still, I heard some real trepidation in the audience in that reaction. I don't know how, I heard one person say, I don't know how I feel about this juice. Yeah. Whoa, change can be scary sometimes, my man. Let's see. I am in this instance, and this is 50, 50,

but especially this time, much more interested and engaged, I'd say, by the seller than I am the actual box. But let's see the box. Yep. Yeah, for sure. Now, everyone in the audience seems to be saying something. And again, when you do that, it is a nightmare for us.

Now, I'll tell you what this conjures for me, and I use that word intentionally, because there's a demon in that box. I read the title. Yeah. Do you guys remember that oatmeal that came with a packet of like, you could swirl? Yeah, for sure.

That's exactly what this fucking looks like, too. I'm gonna explain why. When making an offer, please remember that I'm technically paying out of pocket for the shipping. Okay. Okay. This is a handmade demon box from my experience. Wait a sec.

What? What? What? A driven made demon? Did you get the, you're gonna go into it? Yes, you're right. This was a store bought demon box. Yeah, it's a factory made demon box from the demon box factory.

It's a handmade demon box from my experiences as a professional exorcist. Okay. It's a professional. It's a wooden box that has been burned with an iron by hand. Thank you While doing the ritual. I usually wipe some kind of wood stain. Usually You're my lich Mae Vary. I demons appreciate that. I usually wipe some kind of wood stain on them when I get home So they look a little less dull

Which is what the discoloration is at some point. Now, hold on, hold on, hold on. They don't stain them before they capture the demon. Yes, right. Hey, are you in there? Rrr. Okay, what are you thinking? Like a mahogany, a cherry?

But if you stain it before, and then you don't catch the demon, everybody's like, check this idiot. And sometimes the demon will be like, if you let me out for a second, I can take a look at some of the buckets. And then you say, like, you're going to, now you're going to try and probably kill me, huh?

And he's like, yeah, you got me. This particular box contains some kind of nightmare in demon or similar spiritual entity. I was called to remove this one by a friend. As their friend was dealing with something following him around for his privacy, I'll call him John in this story. John had been dealing with...

Now the next story. The next story. I don't know. John had been dealing with an apparition which would show up as a dark silhouette. The spiritual... God damn it. I know the spiritual entity would physically move objects

such as doors and hide items a few people Also see the demon, but it mainly targeted John it would also freak out the family It would also freak out the animals making the dog scared to go into his room when it was around If you've heard of demons resembling dark silhouettes with hats. Yeah, this was probably one of them Sure, oh wait hold on hold on if you've heard of that with hats. Yeah, can was probably one of them. You sure? Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. If you've heard of that, with hats, yeah. Can you imagine fucking the closet door swings open and you see an unhatted Baba Duke? That's fair.

But what if the Baba Duke comes up this time and he's wearing like a trubby? I'm trying something. Yeah, he is. Though it does not have a notable face or eyes, just a dark image. Sometimes there's a white spot where the face should be. All right.

Bad. So this house has been haunted for years. Eventually, he was able to move out, moved a few towns over. He assumed maybe the demon was just a hallucinatory issue. And now that he was medicated, it had gone away. Well, several years, you heard me. That's worked's worked for me. Several years later, he started having nightmares where the demon would appear, tormenting him near his old house and whining about how he abandoned it.

Man. Oh, man, come on. You left me here. Come on. Now, to be fair, so far, if you removed the word demon and replaced it with the word roommate, what you've got is like, a guy I moved stuff around in the house and his dog didn't like me. And then he left all of a sudden, and I had to be ripped by myself. Supposedly, it had been hunting him down

and it finally found him. At this point, my friend asked me to deal with him. So this point, at this point my friend asked me to deal with him. So this point at this point, your friend said, hey I've got a friend who's an exorcist at this point now. Can you imagine me in the exercise friend and sitting there at parties? I've John is talking about this casually and you're going, oh you sure John, I'm reading all this verbatim. So the gist of it is that during the night,

I went and grabbed the demon, sealing it. You went and grabbed the demon, sealing him? Listen, I went to exercise the demon, blah, blah, blah, demon and a bomb. Is that so the gist of it is during the night, I went and grabbed the demon, sealing it. John was asleep at this point, and there wasn't much fanfare with the actual ritual.

Not like usual. Yeah. Other than the demon trying to mentally communicate with me and cursing me out. What if the fucking conjuring for or whatever? They go out, they're like, let's get them. Oh, he's asleep. Just put him in the box, I guess, into a movie.

Cool. No way, Griffiths, sorry. John, the friend was guess, into a movie. Cool. No way, Griffith, sorry. John, the friend was asleep, not the demon. Yeah. Maybe you don't know. Maybe you don't know. You don't know that. Yeah, that's true.

It does say I grabbed him, and if someone grabbed me and started moving me in a box, I would curse them out, too. Yeah, unless I was super, super sleepy. However, I will be getting rid of this box. Because ever since I bound him, I've been having more nightmares and stress dreams than usual. Then you didn't bind him very fucking good. I did you.

What is the binding in tail? You're about to feel like an asshole, okay? None of them actually include the demon. Probably because I don't think he's scary. Yeah. What? Sorry. But they do play I'm air.

The nightmare is totally demon. Because I don't personally think he's scary. Cool. But they do play off of my real anxiety. Yeah. I do have a big job interview coming up and I'm not sure if I've ever finished my finals. But that's unrelated.

I have to put this box on the other end of my room away from my bed. Okay, listen. Salesperson tactics 101. Don't say you want this thing. I'm fucking scared of it and don't like it and don't want to have it anymore What's your opening offer? And please remember I'm paying out of pocket for the shipping. I don't know if there's any other paranormal activity other than nightmares My house is already haunted so it's hard to get reading. Yeah. That I know for sure, or just the box, would prefer that someone who wants this as a curio

and is not interested in opening the box. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, would buy this. I don't really feel like dealing with it if someone opens the box. Oh, holy shit. And the soccer demon comes back to haunt me. Or he's going straight back for John.

Yeah. Haunt me or John. So there it is. Covered. If you start having nightmares because of this box, I would recommend keeping it outside your bedroom. Perhaps in a bathroom, a tasteful hall closet. A tasteful hall closet.

Keep it outside. Not one of those tacky hall closets. Hall closet. A tasteful hall closet. He's being outside of it. Not one of those tacky hall closets. Not tacky, shitty hall closets. Maybe place a bowl or bag of salt on top of it, or something. I'm gonna need a little bit more firmer hand on the rudder for these directions, please. Hey, Justin, you're a great extra citizen.

Thank you so much. Did you sell that box with a demon in it that was haunting me? Justin your great exorcist and thank you so much. Yeah, did you Sell that box with a demon in it that was haunting me. I that was part of your invoice At all boss over the open. No, I'm asking yeah, how wrong? I'm asking Did you tell them not to open it? Specifically mentioned was it close to the bottom of the description though? It was a little late, I should have said that before. Yeah. Probably before I mentioned I was paying for shipping

out of the book. I should have put it in the title probably. Do you not open this? If you start having nightmares because this box, I would recommend keeping it outside your bedroom. Maybe place a bowl or bag a salt on top of it or something if it keeps happening. Spirit is trapped in a bottle in the box.

Okay, so if the box breaks, it's not the end of the world. Yeah, but it could be. The bottle has a crystal ashes from the ritual and is basically glued to the inside of the box so the tunnel wax. Just so it doesn't get jostled around outside. Good. If you hear rattling noise when moving the box,

it's likely the crystal in the jaw. Get the fuck out of it. Oh, okay. The box itself has been sealed shut with gorilla glue that some of the best stuff since an anime. Anointed gorilla glue. You could probably pry it open, but it might be a pain to do so.

Oh, you got cues? Well, I got FAs. I'm, what are the symbols? Oh, I make these when I do the ritual. They're not necessarily in these specific other than what feels right. Ah! Ah!

And what? So the Bible says when it's teaching you how to do exercises, it's like, just fucking vibe on it, man. I don't know. Okay, but here's the second half of the sentence. They're not necessarily anything specific, other than what feels right, and what shapes the spirits guide me to make

while sealing the entities. Next time, just do the beginning and the ends. They're not specific, go tell me how to do them. That's a lot more plausible than, oh, I make those up and sometimes ghost help. Like, is it possible that while doing the exorcism, you're sealing the demon and the demon's like, ah, no more of an eye shade.

It's like a god-shade. It's like a god-shade. For me, I love that. Oh, if you could do like, kind of a beach, like the seal inside, I love that thing. What I think is. What I think is inside of this was just a glitter bomb trap. And then it's like, I fucking told you, dude.

Smells like farts in here now. I told you, dude. There's two more questions and they're both really good. How long have you been removing entities? I don't know. 10 years or so? It's not like I count. It's not like I count. 10 years or so, it's not like I count. I don't know. 10 years or so, it's not like I count.

You don't remember the first time you removed an entity. I don't know that. I would, no, I would remember that. That would be a date that would live in in for me for sure. Oh, where was I on May 6th? Well, finally, and this is the last cue, is the box safe to open. And this cat says, I decay.

I'm not responsible for anything that happens from opening the box. Some boxes might be effectively dead from having the entity trapped in there for so long. Okay, good. Other ones are gonna have an angry demon in them that has been waiting to be unleashed. I would prefer if you didn't unleash the demons. That's what I used to say on first dates.

Listen, let me just hold on. I would prefer if you didn't unleash the demons unless you're also an exorcist with power of Respirates who could control them because I am not going to help on the off-chance it gets out of control It's just a link to their fucking five or page That is so you open the box, huh? I'm shit. All right. I'm $300 an hour idiot. I told you I decayed. This was safe or not. I wish it's that I decayed. Say for me. Yeah, absolutely. That's your hot-a-daw watch. Thank you. Thank you. I think we can go to the audience. Yeah. We're going to call some people down. You all sent your questions in very kindly. We appreciate that. We'll call you down

Also your name and your seat number you please come down to the microphone There's Amanda. Hi, Amanda. Oh, wait Amanda. You don't have a question Amanda. No, no So yeah, when you come if you want to give us your name your pronouns and a brief summary of your question That would be so rad. Yeah, oh, that's very close to the microphone. Excellent. That's very good. And if you are wondering, yes, we specifically requested the lighting that makes it look like we are judges

condemning you to hollow jail. Speak your peace. We want post-opizza Paul wants to know. Are you shitting me right now, Paul? Of course we want both of us. Yeah, I mean, that's great. Thank you, Paul. Thank you Paul. Hey, no hold on Paul. This should be fun Everyone be real quiet. Where should we order from? Awesome. Thanks everybody. I appreciate it. Someone yelled a day. I'm gonna die Dominos no, wherever Someone yelled a damn, we're gonna die. Domino's.

No, wherever. Hello. Sean, she, her. Nice to meet you guys. Nice to meet you. So my boyfriend and I have lived in our apartment for a couple of years, and our landlord is a very nice odd man. And he has this one particular thing he's done since we moved in.

And an example is we texted him saying we needed a new ceiling fan in our living room and he was supposed to come down last week and he texted saying, hey guys, so sorry, I couldn't come. I had to go to the hospital for a heart murmur situation. He is fine. No bummers. But as if I don't care about him either way. Great. So I'm just saying, like, I'm not invested in him. He's a landlord. But as a pivot. As a pivot.

That's so far as the only piece of paper. I'm not saying they're on nice landlamps. Please, just a word. No, I appreciate that. OK. But no, as if to prove it, he sent us a photo of himself in the hospital wearing the gown. Cool. With all of the wires plugged in.

Yeah. And this is not the first time he's done this. OK. When we first moved in, he texted us saying, hey guys, I can't make it to the deep clean of your apartment. I had to go to the hospital for a stomach ulcer. And he attached a photo of a very fresh scar. Sick.

Yeah. Unprompted and- If it's fresh, it's called an incision. Thank you. So the scar comes later on right now. Thank you so much. Sean, this is going to be a weird question, but like, can you see his face in them?

Not in the incision one, no. Interesting. I did not even go that route. See, I was going to ask about today's newspaper. I'm acting theory as this person's a super liar, right? Like deep, deep in it, right? I know. Here's the thing though. Two months later, he did show up to install something, lifted his shirt, showed us the scar. But that two months is a long time to get that incision, man. That's true. When you're old, you get them all the time.

I might be getting the timing wrong. I can ask, Joe, was it two months later? Or was it shorter than that? One month. Oh, that's not enough time. No, that's definitely not. It was a fresh wound. And so it almost just feels like he needs to prove to us.

I think maybe because people think he's a liar, because of all of his injuries, that he's like, no, photo evidence because in the heart remember when there was his face okay full face but like and you can fake that my my there's a lot about a I didn't see a doctor so it might have been fake my favorite subgenre of podcasts is the the documentary that is this person has been lying about everything. Yes.

30 John. 30 John. Yeah, exactly. There's a lot in the sub-genre and it's very, it's great. It's just about a person who's been lying about everything. And there's always like a credulous person, a Sean, if you will, who's like, yeah, he sent me pictures of like every incision. And I thought that was weird, but like but I didn't think he was lying.

It's like, of course she didn't. What Sean didn't know that she was just the latest in a web of lies. Sean, if I was your landlord. Wait, what's your question? Oh, my question is how can I get him to call? My question is, what would Griffin do if he was my landlord?

I would love to hear that first. If I was your landlord and you texted me, come do my ceiling fans. And I was in the capital H fucking hospital. I would text you back, like probably hops it all. And you would know from that. Exactly. To fucking drop it.

My instinct, and nobody here since instinct would be like, all right. Exactly. Disagree, sir. Go on. I'll say myree, sir, go on. I'll say my thing in a second, Sean. Incision gang. But my question is, how can I get him to stop?

Block him. Whoa. But he does eventually fix the thing. OK, but you block eventually. You block him unless you need to text him. And then unblock. And then block. Okay, okay.

When you unblock him, it just gonna be like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh see if we can figure that out. I don't know why that could be happening and then you can't figure it out Yeah, and then the issue persists add in for night. I mean you just have to act like yours frustrated about it as he oh You're acting like because you blocked him on his foot not like another medical What I thought you were talking about you were saying that Sean should go fucking full on House MD. Let's see if I can't crack the case on that one. Let's get to the bottom of this one. And also, Ed, hard room, huh?

Could it be Lupus? Sean, you could ask, you could ask so many questions that he would start to think, like, I'm not going to tell Sean about this stuff. She's asking a lot of questions. She's making it really weird. Did it hurt? Did it make you think about dying?

Ha ha ha. Sean, does that help? It actually really does. OK, good, thank you. Thank you, Sean. Hi, I'm Marita. I have some maybe photographic proof that when my friend dropped their bird off for her parents to watch him, that they replaced them secretly.

We have taken the photo. I forwarded it to you, Paul. If we can get... We've got to sigh by sigh. We've got to enhance. I'm so excited. I don't think it's a nose. I don't think it's a nose. Are you saying not, Zach? I don't get a crop of the nose, Paul. I don't think it's a nose. I don't think it's a nose. Are you saying not, Zach?

I don't want that. Is that the nose from the little guy from Labyrinth? Oh, you enhancing even more. OK, Paul's doing a Photoshop very quickly. Thank you, Paul. Now, when you say replace the bird, your assumption is something sold the bird, something terrible happened to the bird and now like a fucking hate this bird. I mean she found him like flying her in outside so he could be doing okay.

Okay, alright, now the black marking is so different. It's extremely different. It's extremely different but that could be the plumage, just a natural shifting of plumage. The one that I want to say is, it is gonna sound weird, but the one on the right is way hotter. Right. Right? You know what I'm saying, right?

What on the left is a real butterbird. No, no, no. Justin, I have been looking for the right words. I've been looking for the right words to tell me what was bothering me about this image. That's a bill for that. Oh, I gotta see both of them, but we're else you can't tell how much hotter it is than the other one. Listen, I'm fine hanging out with the bird on the left. That's fine. I bet there have a great personality. But the bird on the left. That's fine. I bet there have a great personality. Can you clear up?

With a bird on the right. Marita, can you clear up? Is it a before on the left after on the right? It's an after on the left and a before on the right. This hot bird has passed. It's hot. The hot bird. The hot bird.

I regret to inform the audience that the hot bird has died. No, wait, now hold on, hold on, hold on. And been replaced with a total fucking six. Six. The hot bird could have gotten the lucrative modeling contract. The hot bird died. There are plenty of reasons. No. I'm going to rip hot bird. Hey, I've known this bird for fucking a hundred seconds. And

I will never forget its face. If I was the owner of a fucking smoking hot bird like this and I came home and saw the one on the land, I am more invested in the health of the hot bird than I am the landlord for the brick and slide. Is it possible, is it possible that you were taking, that the person was taking the bird for a walk? And there was a bird agent like, I have to have that hot bird. I give you any price.

I can sell anything with that hot bird. I'm saying watch the trades you might say rest RIF, rest in fame. I think it's maybe more accurate. He's in he's in Pollywood. Hey is it possible? That hot bird? Pollywood. Yeah we got it. Hot bird went left with the grandparents. Just a little more comfortable. Oh. Oh, okay, yeah. Can I say something?

If I house sat this hot bird, I cannot promise that I would not go on. Sneak away with it. Yeah. Hey, hot bird, you're staying here with me. Have you met the birds? Parshamark. Have you met the birds? I haveermark. Have you met the birds? I have.

You have? Are they talking birds? He makes like some noises, but he doesn't like. Have you noticed the difference? You're saying he, but you mean like these two different birds is what you meant to say, right? I mean, it has the noise. Can I just say if I was watching a TV show about hot bird

on the right? And by season three, now, Bird on the left is playing that bird. I'm off this show. Yeah, I'm gonna like this. I am done with this. Have you noticed any other changes in the bird's behavior or calling or anything?

My friend, when she picked him up, she's like, wow, his toenails are a lot shorter. Okay. Wow, he's developed a his toenails are a lot shorter. Okay. Oh wow he's developed a great personality to deal with bullies. The... How does the sexy one have like abs? Yeah, stop. Now Justin, we've been doing a game on the show for a couple of months now.

That's an abnormal thing. In the flesh, like... seen it in the flesh. Birds don't have flesh. In the foul, I guess, right? I don't know. Does it? Some of the fouls have a hand. Let's say this.

Let's say this. Hold on. Let's just do a show of hands. Because when you all make noises, it's wrong. Yeah. So a show of hands, if you think these are two different birds, please raise your hand in the air. Oh my God.

Well that's all of them. And if you don't, if you think this is- Some of the lobby staff ran into a racelift. If you think this is the same bird, raise your hand. Okay, no wait, wait, wait, leave your hands up. Now, leave your hands up. There's like eight of you, right? But listen, I'm proud of you.

This is good, but listen, if you have an expertise that would allow you to answer this question, please leave your hand up otherwise put it down. Okay, hold on. Well, okay, there's like a few people who think that this is the same bird and have it. What is your expertise? That tech, okay, wait, that's it. Make sure you think these are the same bird.

Blue-mixed shift. Blue-mixed shift. I mean, yeah, but I think it's two different birds. Yeah, that's the important thing. Because the one on the right is so much hotter. Did you see how hot the one on the right was? Does it help? Yeah. Does that help?

Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. How about? Hello. Hi. Hello. I'm Angela.

Hi, Angela. You can tell the fact that we've like blood harmonized there. It was weird. Yeah, that was weird. Hi. Hi. How do I ask my neighbor if the turtle that lives in their bird

bath is real? Now, Angela, you did, right there in the question, say the word, lives. Yes. That's not normally a word I associate with an inanimate object. No, Travis, the landlord lives next door, not the tur- wait.

No, the question was, the turtle that lives in the bird bath. Okay, it might be real, so you're allowing for both possibilities. This is it. At first blush, the obvious answer to this question is go touch that turtle. Yeah. Give it the void comp text.

Yes, I've got it in my head though, that you shouldn't touch it. That's a really good issue. That's a Salmanella issue. Salmanella is huge with turtles. Also, it's just rude to touch an animal about, yeah, don't touch animals, period. Unless it's real.

If it's not real, then it's fine to touch a bird bath. It's just part of a bird bath, right? Yeah, sure. Is it, sorry, is it cement colored like the rest of the... No, okay. Wait, I want to say, Angela, I didn't think so, but I wanted to cover our bases and the bird. Our bases and the bird. And I'm just gonna, and I wanted to cover our bases. Our bases have broken off.

Would be another one. I'm just going to, and I ripped a bandaid off. I, does it move? Sometimes it's there, and sometimes it's not. OK, but you've never seen it move. They've never seen it. In Angela's defense, they're famously quite slow. I mean, yeah, but birdbass are also famously not on the ground.

I'm just saying be on Angela's side. Listen, it's like you need a move of a tree set. Yeah, I'll talk quite a little bit. You, they move slow normal. Yeah. And then they move very fast for one second. Yeah. And then they move slow again.

It's not out. They can fall still. You can't stare at any part of your neighbor's house for longer than a few seconds. That's a legal law in Washington, D.C. I don't know how you all roll, but it may be a legal law here, so just be very careful of that. You can't go into your neighbors yard and start touching their things.

Simply, you cannot do it. So this question makes a lot of sense because it is quite a conundrum. Oh, wait, I've got it. Go ahead. Can I suggest that this is actually really hard? I've been sitting and trying to think of like, just go ask them.

There's not really a good one out there gang. I mean, if you say, hey, I was thinking about getting a turtle as a pet. This is what they're hurting. I was thinking about getting a turtle as a pet. How are they as pets? And they look to you like, are you talking about the fucking fake turtle?

In my water, are you serious? In the bird back the fucking fake turtle? What do you want about? Hear me out. Okay, going. There are two possibilities. Wow. Possibility. One, going. There are two possibilities. Wow. Possibility.

One, it is a fake turtle. And sometimes it's there and sometimes it's not. Which means the owner of this bird bath is from time to time putting the turtle in there, moving it back, moving it back. Or option two, it is a real turtle. It can't climb up, go horizontally. Yes. And up in.

So the owner of the turtle is putting it out there, saying you're back. You can say, what's the deal with the turtle? And that is the safest fucking question. No, actually, what's the deal with the turtle? It's really good. You're saying that they are going to be aware of the situation regardless.

There's no way, if the turtles there sometimes did not. Have you say what's the deal with the turtle and they go, what turtle? This, you know, the quantum turtle that lives in your front fucking yard? Hey, you could also say, can I have your turtle? Good. Because if they are like, yeah, sure, what do I care? It's fake, but if they're like, oh, I guess if you have to, they don't follow it.

Justin, the stakes of the second ocean, if someone was like, I don't know if my neighbor's dog is real or not, come have your dog. Give me that. If this is a fake turtle and it's there, sometimes, that raises 100,000 more questions in my mind. The first one being, why doesn't your neighbor have more confidence in their yard decoration abilities?

To just put a turtle out there and then just look out their front window for two hours at it. And then just, no, it goes out and grabs it. They only put the turtle out when they name a new Pope. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Thank you so much. Hello there, I love that shirt. That was about the problem with the shirt. Thank you, that's why I wore it. Oh good. Wow, damn, called shot.

Fucking Babe Ruth over here of shirts. I know who's going to like this shirt. What if you had worn a terrible shirt and were like, I fucking hate that shirt, you're like, I know right? I'd take it off just right now. Hello. I was about to ask you about a garment that you would have ordered the patty labelle show last night. And I was like, I think it was a t-shirt that said patty labelle on it. Give me anywhere.

Sorry. Hi, my name is Cody. I have a different Cody than the one before. Send in two questions, which one were we vibing away? The one about your father-in-law. Got it. Were they both about your father-in-law? No.

Okay, good. My name's Cody, and I got a lot of questions from a father-in-law. We live a zany life together, and it's coming to CBS this fall. So my father-in-law, like Cody Pendant, is the name of that show. That was... Yeah! Sorry. I can just...

That never happens for me, and so when it does happen, I feel like I have to just sort that never happens for me. And so when it does happen, I feel like I have to just sort of shoot it out there. Okay, hello, Cody. Your question about your father-in-law? Yeah, my father-in-law likes to talk about himself a lot. Yeah. Any time we're talking, making a conversation, he's got to bring it back to how great he is. Right.

And most of the time, it will come to the fact that he got his pilot license. Nice. Is your father and law hairs and forward? No, please finish your question and the fact is I'm not sure that he's flown the plane and he's gotten to the point We're like someone it he'll bring it up in almost any conversation Someone talked about how they proposed to their wife on a fishing boat and he brought, he was like, oh yeah, I have 130 IQ. I didn't even finish high school. Could you imagine if I did? And I can fly a plane.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. How do I make that stop? I can't. Could he come and take my blaze on the show? Yeah, here's the thing. There is a certain kind of bad behavior socially speaking that when it becomes so egregious, it almost becomes like trashy TV level.

Like, what's he gonna fucking, did you hear that? They were talking about how they got engaged on a boat. He turned into more fucking plane talk. Can you believe it? You're on fire today, Michael. Cody, how important do you as your relationship with your father-in-law? You know nothing.

Okay, I'm important. You're staying in front of a mic. You're in the fucking hollow prison right now. I don't know if your partner is here, but I don't know if he just patted their knee like, be our beacon of good, burn your dad to the ground. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Cody, here's my recommended, when he breaks it, I mean, he's like, and I've got 130 IQ. You go, you do? Everything he says. And I can fly a plane. You can't. See if you can get him to keep going about him.

No, every shut up. Oh, it's a good immersion therapy. Yeah. Narcissists all have a limit of which they want to talk about themselves. They won't tell you that about Narcissists, but it's like, you catch them smoking. You got to make them smoke a whole packet talking about themselves. Okay, wait. you that about narcissists, but it's like, you catch them smoking.

You got to make them smoke a whole packet talking about themselves. Okay, wait. They're like, ugh, I'm done. If you, okay, I got a new pat in a way I'm been to just really melt anybody to the ground. Next time it gets out of one of these, like, I want you to put, if you have the, I'm a plane guy. I'm a good plane guy. If you have the kind of relationship you're touching, you'll be appropriate. I want you to put, if you have the kind of, I'm a playing dad, I'm a good playing guy. If you have the kind of relationship

or touching it be appropriate, I want you to put your hand on the shoulder. I want you to look directly at the eyes and say, aren't you tired? You're not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. How many situations in your life that would have fixed? I think it's pretty multi-marble. Holy shit. Listen, right now I just like, isn't this exhausting you? All right? As a recovering narcissist, it fucking works out.

Yeah, it's chilly, man. You can't see it, but underneath the table, the number of times these boys are touching my knee, like, you're okay. Ha ha ha. Just a simple, we know. It does wonders. Hey, but can I say something though? Can I do a thought exercise up on the stage?

Yeah. I want you to think about if you had a pilot's license. I fucking bring it up. I always never start talking about it. I have a party. You have to get your pilot's license. I have a party. Yeah.

The fight. The imagine, imagine this. Yeah. You have to get your pilot's license. I have to. Yeah! Dog fight. Dog match, imagine this. Yeah, I have an IQ of 130. Oh, yeah, man, like me, it's like 131, but that's cool. That's cool, that's cool.

I have my pilot's license. Oh, commercial. Now, the essential thing with this Cody is that you always have to be the person that mentions it first. So, like you're gonna have to get even better at this game. Yeah. That he's already, I will tell you, a fucking artisan level. Yeah. If you get invited to a family Christmas party, I need you there at 4.30 a.m. hiding under

present. Just so when the first guest gets there, you can pop out like, I have my power in slides. And forcing your father to lie into a little, you know, me too. Do some deep nexus lexus level deep dive research on every person who's gonna be at every social gathering you're at so you can get a fucking ahead of it and just be like, oh, I heard that Toby got accepted at Dartmouth. That reminds me of how smart and plain I am. Does that help? It helps us am. This is that help.

It helps us both. Thank you, Cody. All right, thank you. Thank you, thank you. Thank you, everybody. Let's go ahead and take that light. Now, I'll take that house light down and it freaks us out. Hey, seriously though.

A lot of fucking bests. This has been a fluently in the last. So, you know that. Like, I know it makes it sound like babies, but usually the third show in a row where you have to make up all the jokes on the fly is pretty exhausting. You all have made it an absolute treat. I'm stoked, Shrek.

Yeah, for sure. And we're gonna go another hour. No, stop it, we'll die. But the knowledge that we do have Pocho pizza waiting for is like, so, Terry, I'm top. This time I'm experiencing is unparalleled. You know, except for the dominoes pizza that's awaiting me backstage, can't wait.

And all I can say is cowabunga. Cowabunga is amazing. I think, A Griff, I think there's only one thing that could have made this better. And that's if Travis had a minute before this exact moment that he has to finish every episode of the podcast. He's gonna listen to love is too fucking time. Fuck, I heard that last time. We got time, we got time. That's the moment that he has to finish every episode of the podcast The Love is Fuck it I have a last time

We got time We got time We got time Bontaine Thank you for being us on our theme song My life is better with you We love that track Thank you for Tyler Reed

For the poster Thank you Tyler Reed For the sign of poster Very cool Please pick one up We signed a bunch of them They may be there Still out there

This will be your and anyone on earth a bunch of them. They may be there still out there. This will be your and anyone on Earth's last opportunity to buy one. So don't sleep on those. Thank you to Paul and Amanda for everything. Thank you to the Riverside. Again, seriously, my favorite venue to perform in the country. I love it here so much. You all are very, very lucky to live in a city with a Vendida's fucking pool.

And they way don't really tweet anymore, but if you want to put on your social media channels that you had a fun time and night, that's nice. We appreciate that. I used to go back after the show and look at hashtags, like I wonder what people were saying about it. That does not really a thing anymore. So, you know, just like, I don't know.

Now it's just when I get on there, it's just fucking Kevin Sorbo tweets that have been pushed to me. You might like this. And I think, Travis, do you feel like that's it? Well, one thing I did want to add, Justin, thank you for asking, is this inspiration a quote from Jack Johnson? Oh, and thanks to Clint McRoy for introing us. Thanks for that.

Appreciate you, bud. I get nervous when I fly. I'm used to walking with my feet. Jack Johnson. What's that fucking mean? My name is Justin McAroy. I'm Travis McAroy. This is my brother, my brother,

my kid's your dad's square, the lips! It's better, it's better with two. My life, oh, it's better with you. you