My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 669: Oomp, There It Is!

Episode Date: July 17, 2023

Wee-ooh-wee-ooh, it’s Wonka-watch! Get that kid from Dune in here to make those magic chocolates! We’re so excited about the extended Wonkaverse, which will of course include starring films for all of the Wonkas, all featuring Andy Serkis as Huge Grant.Suggested talking points: Hot Topic Employee Energy, Wilder than Wilder and Deeper than Depp, Twonka, Paranormal Charles, Consume Slenderman for Fuel, Hidden Bepsi, Why Papa Make Chippy HornyWorld Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sex expert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? What, there are three! It's the start of something beautiful A small quaintance has blossomed It's wrapping into a precious friendship

I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like It's better, it's better with you My life, it's better with you This is true, it's better, it's better with you My life, it's better but do I like I It's better with you

Hello everybody and welcome to my brother and my brother and me An advice show for the Modrenera and if you lick the oldest brother it tastes just like Justin Macaroy And listen, I'm your millis brother, Travis Macaroy, I just want to make chocolate You stole fizzy lifting drink and my heart, you get everything, it's Griffin, McAroy. You get Bafo Bucks, the Bafo Bucks office, Buccarunis baby. We don't often do this.

We may have done this once before. That's right. It's a watch part two. Watch watch watch. We've been so good. We can do a second wonka watch as a treat for us. Yeah. You all have to understand in our private lives,

it's just about wonka. That's it. It's just wonka. If we're talking about something other than wonka in this podcast that you're hearing, it is a courtesy. It is a gift. For you to. And not just that, a lift.

Do you know how hard it is for me to switch gears in my hyperfixated brain to talk about anything else? Everybody's over here talking about Barbie or Oppenheimer. Barbie or Oppenheimer. I would throw the master tapes of both these films into a furnace and set them on fire never to be watched by human eyes again for one more wonka trailer. Yeah, one more trailer showing me a little bit of Hugh Grant's Oompa Loompa, a little bit of Timothy Shalamay's

inscrutable accent. I'm going to watch this movie in theaters 19 I want to make I want to make chocolate. I want whatever it's the chocolate. I want to make On it. Okay, juice. You got really distracted there for a second. Please. I just I accidentally it popped up in my wind I was looking for the cast and the trailer automatically started playing and I was so the way Yeah, but you just want to make chocolate, but the chocolate cartel. The chocolate cartel. Who left? That's right.

When I see the child's movie that invokes the idea of cartel. This evil chocolate family wants to kill Willy Wonka and take his candy away. I can't wait to see this fucking flip. This thing's unreal. Yeah. Why did I gotta say, I watched the trailer trailer and if you haven't watched the trailer yet There's some people who don't know this movie's even coming out guys. I mentioned on a stream.

I'm glad to help. I'm glad to help. Does it seem like Everything about it is wise. Yes, of course. Yeah Were you guys prepared for the heat the chalame is bringing to this particular role. It's a, it's quite a take. Um, he seems, he seems to be his, his to be verb seems to be, um, to helping you find a t-shirt at hot topic when his shift ends at 10 minutes. Yeah. Oh, that's very, very interesting.

Justin, it is, that's the heat that he is ringing. I don't know what he, I know he saw the gene. He had seen the gene. I had to have seen the dead. Oh yeah. The depth is, the depth is running wild on this one. The gulf between these two performances. You have depth over here just like, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, and to the first read. And he looks at the director and he goes, I'm going to be wilder than wilder and deeper than that.

Yeah. And the director was like, what does that mean? And he's like, you'll see. You heard me. Wilder than wilder, deeper than death. And it's like, okay, action. And Chalvez, like, I'm really won't go. I'm really won't go. I'm gonna make chocolate. I'm really won't go. I'm gonna make chocolate.

These guys won't let me make chocolate. I'm gonna stand on a box and I'm gonna put out some fucking Wizarding wily whatever fucking candy that flies around they had to have come tell kids in my way I'll kill them they had to have come to him right and be like we must have the dune boy Everyone loves the dune boy and it would be that angular rascal give me the the angular dune boy, please. And can I say, I love Shalimay. Oh yes! Shalimay's great fucking great. And this performance is going to be good, actually.

It's going to be good. Actually, it will be good. The movie will have to contort around it. Two Shalimay. Like whatever it is, he'll be a gravitational force. Exactly. The wonkotational pull of Shalimay maze energy is going to bend the film to his will mr Shalam a's wondering for him. He's going to be an amazing movie and I can't wait so chill such a chill vibe

Such a chill movie. I so good and Kiggy Michael keys in there eating too much candy. Yeah. Rowan Agensen's running away from a giraffe. So funny. Okay, at what point is it targeted at us? Is what I'm saying, right? Because they got shallow made to play Wonka. And they call it Wonka. Then they put Hugh Grant as a oop-a-looper in a bottle.

Very good. And then there's like flashing his covered ass. At him. Yeah. Like he's cavernassie, you're gonna drop. You're gonna drop ruined. I could saw me. How hot a movie is it that you only had to use

round-aggents if we're three seconds in the trailer. You're like, there's so much we can actually only afford three seconds worth of ruined angus and because there's so much on there. So we gotta show you the problem is he travels with all the bees now. He fell with all the bees and he married eight years. He married and well that's what happened right here.

He's lovers is classic. Yeah, classic. Every movie is in now like, I'd love to do it, but is there a price for the bee? Yeah, yeah. Well, that was really good juice. That really sounded a lot like Mr. Bean from American.

I heard what they did was they glued a bunch of ping pong balls to the bees. Yes. CGI, the giraffe around the bees. That what you just said is the dumbest thing I've ever heard ever. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's what happened.

You're right. It's just really stupid. It's like a dumb idea. But I celebrate the I am DB list. Mr. Chalamet as young Willy Wonka. And if I may be so bold, I think we should list Gene Wilder as old Willy Wonka. And I'm sorry. There's there's there's really one. Yeah. My generations won't. Yeah.

Oh, right. Uh huh. Uh huh. There's the old dad's like, man, sorry, he's old Willy Wonka. This is why I've taught my daughter to call Yoda old Grogu. That exact reason. Yes, correct. That's Jerry Westerk's good Grogu. I feel deeply, deeply bad for the very, very narrow sliver, very narrow time window generation that have Johnny's wonka, that are Johnny wonka, the Johnny wonka generation. That's a bad beat,

because it's sandwiched between what are almost certainly going to be two massively superior performances. Well, I bet this one comes out, right, it's gonna be huge again. Oh, who's that? It's gonna be a Burton and Depp, leapfrog it again to say, now we're gonna make another one.

Where this one, he's old and looking back and gone. I'm probably shouldn't have given it to Charlie. In Reddorsback, I'm gonna go back and find a new set of kids. He knows no business. Charlie was a child. I'm gonna start interviewing potential adults to take over who have gone to like business school and know how to like do you know like payroll and

Writing a spec script for Wonka Travis just like sit back and wrote like just it's called twanca T. W. Oh, and that's big right so it's like to Wonka, but it's gotta be twanca. Twonka's really good. Can we have can we have can I? I'm obsessed with twonka now god damn it. I really didn't want to be but I really really am, can we have, can I, I'm obsessed with twonka now. God damn it. I really didn't want to be, but I really, really am. Can we get, I don't know what the plot of oneka is going to be, which is not what I'm calling the first new Timothy Shalameh wanka, but can we somehow get a sort of crisis on infinite earth situation in Twanka, where we got Shalame, Dep, and Wilder, all a back at it again. And maybe we introduced the fourth Wanka in there.

There's always a Wanka, and it is- Well, Christopher Lee is gonna come back as Wanka Senior. Okay. And Sally Hawkins is Wanka's mom. Yes. Give us a last crusade kind of vibe. But we can see G.I. We'll get last crusade kind of vibe, but we can CGI. We'll get Harrison Ford in there as long as we're at it. And CGI Gene Wilder over him.

He's got a lot of experience with that now. Yeah. He from Dyle Destiny is gonna be perfect. Sally Hawkins and Chris Frilly are gonna be bringing some sexual heat. Not ready for it. Off the charts. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, that will be key. You joke, but there's no way they make this movie if they're not Considering a verse right yeah, no, there's gonna be a lot of you. You got to expand baby sure I am dying for the kids movie that is just called Oon, Poloompa's Uh-huh, and it's just 80 Hugh Grant. Yeah, running around banana running around Hey, that's race. Well, I'm a trace. Oop. There it it is that's the tagline that's huge there it is that's the young man there yeah the whole gang you had they have to fall in love though oh yeah because there's no there's a this is what my hi hi everybody let me turn my white PowerPoint on a high so

hi thanks for seeing me here. I love the opportunity to contribute to the Wonka version. Absolutely, yes, thank you for coming. I've been looking for a new verse to become deeply invested in, so this is Kizmat. My contribution is called Oompa Loompa. Tagline Oompa there it is. Oompa there it is.

I see you probably already see. What my movie is about is this. I like the wheelie, sorry, sorry, sorry. Like the little Willy Wonka monsters, those guys. Yeah, this is part of the Wonka version. So yeah, that would be a wild. I remember them. I remember them.

Okay, great. So here's the thing, you remember the Oompa Loompas, but the question on my mind and the mind of every other viewer is where are the babes? Oh, okay. That's not Oompa babes. That isn't. That's not the Oompa babes. That isn't like that's not what I originally sort of was thinking about Oompa Loompa.

Right, that's why you brought me in. I'll do respect. Yeah, yeah, he's right. He's a respect. I actually brought your or Dordasher for the Chipotle that we all ordered for lunch and then you started. They have to be Lady Oompa Loompa

somewhere on the globe they're dying off. And Griffin older, they're dying. They need to read, they need to read. Sorry, Justin was it? Justin, Griffin, I did put in the special delivery instructions. If you have any ideas for an extended walk-a-verse movie, let us know when you come in. Yeah.

So I guess what I'm confused about is, I'm confused about an army. We are Lionsgate. We're not making the Willy Wonka movie. I believe they have the Dune boys in it. So we're not even making that movie. So I'm not sure we are not making Dune, but I'm not sure.

I mean, we might be able to get in touch with people over at, I mean, we'll have an easy time doing it. Yeah, then just do it. Yeah. So what do you think, can I have 100 mil? Yeah, here's the thing is that all the writers and actors are on strike. And so I think optically the best thing we can do

is pay our Chipotle delivery driver $200 million to... He up there. I was gonna do 100 million, but then Griffin decided let's double that. Well, it's gonna take a couple tries. Yeah. It's gonna take, I know you. It's gonna take you a day in the booth.

Okay, I find out, and I find out you. And that's a hundred million a day. 100 million a day. That's a hundred million a day. It's gonna take him a day. It's gonna take you a day in the booth. It'll be two days in the business. Top's, and if I know Hugh, he will scab before.

No, you won't though he is, but we can't get Hugh Grant. He's not gonna scab. He's got too much honor for that. But I can get you huge grant. Now this is a new Hugh Grant that we've been working on here at Lionsgate. I'm excited about this. How big?

How big is Hugh Grant? They, yeah. Can they meet? Can they meet huge grant in Oompa Loompa? And it's Hugh Grant, the man. But they call it a huge grant. It's huge grant playing Hugh Grant or you're saying Hugh Grant as his cell. That's Andy Circus as huge grant. Okay. It's Hugh Grant, the actor. We are, but Circus, we get. Okay. Hew Grant, the actor.

We are, but Circus, we get Circus. Hew Grant's too busy. We can't get another day in the booth with you. Yeah, there's no way. Is that a staffer up there? The morning that we are recording this podcast, the sag strike is about to be voted on by the time this episode comes up.

Oh, it's gone. It's done. Oh, it's done. Okay. It's done. We're striking. Fuck yeah. All right, so listen. Hey, listen. No, no, you should, you shut up and listen to me right now. I're striking. Fuck yeah. All right. So listen.

Hey, listen. No, no, you should, you shut up and listen to me right now. I'm listening. I'm gonna fix it. I know there's a lot of people struggling because of this. Like me, because all my great television programs, like where are they gang? But most importantly, I think if we pitch this twonka verse, umpa lumpa film with you starting huge grant

to whatever company is making the wonka film be it A24, be it, you know, another movie company. The two plus brothers. The dupless brothers. The time this comes out, it will probably be Amazon Jeff bases presents. Yeah, but listen, Dyson vacuums present.

If we tell the industry about this film, yeah, I think that the, the shitty exacts that don't want to pay for anything will be like, God, damn it. We have to make this movie, and we're gonna need to get the gang back together again to do it. Oh! Like we're gonna, we don't wanna pay the writers like any money, but if that's what it takes

to get Twanca out the door, if that's what it takes to get huge, huge grants incredible, daily, per diem, to be in the Oompa Lumpa animated feature film. Maybe for the record, it's replacing the couch every day for him and his green room. That's probably the basic thing. He actually does it.

He's like, I'll perform for free. If every time I stand up before I sit down again, New couch, New couch. Yeah, because he rips him, man. Yeah, so he fills those things with parts. You're're right great. I want to go out on a limb And I don't want to kind of put you guys in a moral weird conjure Yeah, but I with in light of the strike now being in effect I would like to go ahead and just step up and say for me this is just for me. Yeah, but for me

I Will refuse to appear in any television or film projects until this strike is ended. I stand with labor and I'm stepping away from my mini, mini, mini opportunities to just say for me, I'm not gonna perform on your TV shows or your movies. I'm sorry, I'm off the market, I see what's going on. You're my fucking hero, juice. You're my hero, juice.

I know what that means. I know exactly what that means for you. I love them, we're close. Yeah, I love them, we're close. I will say, can I just say boys, I do regret not sending in that voice over audition yesterday. Yeah. That I was supposed to do,

because I had until today to do it. And in retrospect, I should have done it yesterday if I had paid attention. Yeah. That's okay. I stand with labor. I'm not going to do that voice over audition. All right.

You're not going to do any TV shows or movies, especially movies. I listen. No movies for me. Thank you. Yeah, they asked me to be in Lanka. They said that they would do reshutes before release.

The point, yeah. They would cut me in, but I said no. And here's the weird thing, guys. Can I tell you the sides that they sent me when they were like, please be in this, was just a bunch of reactions shots back to me and me saying sweet in different different like, oh, sweet, sweet, sweet.

And it was just like 18 of them. Yeah, that sounds good. Some of them, some of them, it just said like in parentheses romantically, right? Or like horrified. And I was like, I don't know how to do that. I do have to say one thing that is tough is if they were gonna do a last minute change of heart on trolls three, and just be like,

oh fuck, we forgot. We forgot the boys. Sorry guys. The windows close. We could have had a, that's like off the table now, I'm sorry. I think that good news is Justin, just looking at the like packing

order thing. I doubt we would be the ones holding up trolls three production. I doubt it would be like what we got to get the macro brothers in there. That's interesting. I assume I assume though, Travis, that all the real glittery stars, you know, they've already done their thing. Yeah. I think they're done. I'm just saying if they were like gonna come to us, at some point, I kinda thought. Yeah. Yeah. We did host the Twitter premiere of Trolls Rolls Rolls Rolls Rolls Rolls. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah. With the director of the film, I thought we had kind of part of the thing. Now we gotta wait until this freaking strike is over, but once it is the amount of acting, I'm gonna have backed up. Oh yeah, man.

I'm just ready to blast. It's gonna, the amount of acting I'm gonna do as soon as V-Day in the streets war is over, the amount of acting I'm gonna do is gonna be terrible and profound. It's gonna be life changing for everyone. As soon as we smash up all the computers, which I think is what the writers want.

Yes. And then we only make stranger things style shows. Yes. 38 episodes a season. Yes. This is what the actors want, if I remember right away. So seriously do those two things. Yeah. We'll back in it, guys.

I hate how these things are writing shit, like they're people, they're not people, they're their, they're, they're, their robots, their machines and nuts and bolts and electricity. This is fucking Mitchell's versus the machines right here. Except these writers versus the machines. Yeah, and all right.

And all three of us are in it and not just me. Yeah, not just grip. It's the other big difference between those. It's the other driven in the background for one shot. I hate how these things are writing like humans. I hate how they are getting better at running obstacle courses and doing parkour and going upstairs and stuff. Yes.

They have to be stopped and I'm willing to stop acting until we get this thing figured out, but as soon as we're back in. Thank you. I just can't believe they were placed Harrison Ford in the New Indiana Jones with a robot. Yeah, because that's not him. No, it's not.

I know what he looks like. I've seen that old man. That's not him. I've seen that old man like eat hot wings and shit. I know what he looks like. Thank you very much. I've seen him react to David Blaine Magic tricks. Yeah, that's not him.

That's not him. That's not him. That's not him. That's not him. That's not him. That's not him. That's not him. That's not him. I don't. That's not here. So Ford. Anyway, don't I mean? Anyway, this is an advice show. I can't believe one cuz they're a movie. I know.

So the delight it brings me. Hey, if you guys had to sit down and watch all of Man vs. B or watch Wonka right now, what would you choose? Wonka. Two screens. Oh, two screens. Okay, yeah.

No audio from one video from. Yeah, they think I've been doing it all morning. You know that man versus B riffs. Wanka. It's just a riff track of it. It's crazy. You know, like, you know, lines up. See what they did Justin is they said, you know what? We don't have any wanka movies. It's seeing the villainy. It's so wild that no one has made a wanker movie yet. There's this great guy. And no one's making movies about him. Hey, let's fuck it up.

I love it. Please, I'm quite a... Well, what if it's a wanker story that no one's familiar with at all? Good. And we're making it up. Better. Is this made up or is this based on one of a true story? beloved anti-Semite role I'm here America. Nays a globe's favorite anti-Semite role tall

No one went wait before I die there's two more things I want you to know Wait, before I die, there's two more things I want you to know. Even Griffin, even Griffin, is not willing to touch this fucking radioactive fact, because he's worried they don't have to direct a community deal over the James the giant peach someday. He'll call it out in his pocket. See? I've said a lot of shit about the BFG that I can't walk back now. It's too late.

People level that stuff at Walt Disney and I get it, but Roll Dolly was out there. He was, yeah, a pioneer. Whoa, roll, roll, roll. Whoa, roll. Hey, yeah, this is based on a real book. I think the line in there is won't go us up against the chocolate cartel. If you know what I mean, no, no, no, get it. Now someday they'll be able to finish my work if they can get some kind of huge man in here,

a huge grant of you will. I love this. I am going to begin reading the first question if you do not take the initiative. Okay. If you didn't want this to be, if you want this to be a advice show, you should look at Big Wonka. I'm a frequent visitor to my local natural swimming spot,

which is Barton Springs in Austin. Griff, did you ever hit that spot? Yeah, yeah, yeah, very cold, very reedy. Love it. Last week I was swimming in the springs. And when I stopped to take a break along the wall, a big fish swam up and bit my toe hot. Yeah. That's always the nightmare, isn't it? I saw the fish through the water is I frantically swam away. It was quite big, at least a

foot long. And it didn't, and it, and didn't look scared of me at all. I would like to know what that would look like. I haven't been back since my question is this brothers. What defense tactics can I take to conquer my newfound fear of toe biting fish and return to my beloved Barton Springs with confidence. That's from aquatic anxiety in Austin. They make swimming pools now. Get this guys. That makes swimming pools now that one aren't like perpetually 62 degrees year round, too cold to get into, jump into, splash into, activate your fucking fight or flight response.

It reduce your heart rate down to 15 deeps. Feel blown. And then also these new swimming pools, they don't have just like fucking seaweed and mud and shit at the bottom of it. They make it out of floor stuff that you would see in like a house or a bathroom. Oh yeah.

Oh no, I see these videos. Griffin, where like the two dudes, they dig in the dirt. Yes. And then they go to the river. Yeah. And then it was like, no, yeah, I've seen these videos, Griffin, where like the two dudes, they dig in the dirt. Yes. And then they go to the river. Yeah. And they just like set up some bamboo, I guess. And that fills the pool.

Yeah. They make a cement mixing truck out of a bunch of coconuts. I'm just saying they make swimming pools where they have killed all the fish for you ahead of time. Yeah, I was actually gonna suggest chlorination as another option here for Barton Springs. I don't know how much you'd need. A lot.

It would probably need to be a lot of it. It would take a lot. You would need to chlorinate the source of the springs, which I think that's like deep, deep, deep, yeah. Chlorinate the world. That could be bad. That can actually go bad if you tried

to chlorinate all the water. And I think it's probably not weird. Like Austin loves it to keep it weird. And I think chlorinating and entire planets worth of liquid isn't that is like a little more. If you mix in like lemonade or sound like lemonade mix, that's pretty weird. That's fine.

That's fine. Listen, you have just confirmed my number one thing about we are all, when we at least I speak for myself, when we are in the ocean or a natural body of water, I am constantly thinking about like, it's like a thousand steps to a whale, probably. Yeah, like, if I went far enough that way, you hit a whale.

I hit a whale. Squids, squids, squids, orca, you name it, right? They're out there. And I'm trying really hard to not think about fish. Yeah. And sometimes the little guy, you know, the little guy pies they'll come up and they'll be like, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, that this question struck me, right? We can talk about how you're gonna get back in the water all day.

What I wanna talk about is how you recover from the, because you're not swimming at Barton Springs alone, that's a popular swimming pool. It's like a crowd. There's other people there. They just saw you flip shit, right? Cause you didn't handle this calmly. Now here's my question.

This fish doesn't even look scared, guys. It's not gonna look scared. What, what saves the more face? I was chased by a fish that bit my toe or something robbed against my leg and I freaked out. I don't, you guys seem to not really grasp how gross this water is. It's just like you're swimming in a big, big salad that somebody

poured a bunch of water in. People are yelling inside a Barton Springs all the time because something's always touching them, or it is so heart-stoppingly cold that they actually black out in the water for a bit. I don't think this is that uncommon. It almost seems like perhaps man was not meant to dwell in these waters. Yeah, certainly not for more than 30 seconds at a time. Because that fish isn't coming up on the shore barn strings of biting your toe.

It's not. It's almost as if mother Gaya herself is giving you every indication possible to say, hey, could you stay the fuck out of here? This fish has been trained now to have no fear of human. And a taste of human flesh. He probably went, he probably, I guarantee five minutes before that, he went to one of his friends

and he was like, I'm just gonna eat one. Yeah, I'm just gonna eat one and I'll see what happens. Worst case scenario, I come away hungry, but it can't be worse than this right now. I'm just gonna eat one and I'll see what happens worst case scenario. I come away hungry, but it can't be worse than this right now I'm just gonna try to eat one guys. I got the toe. He was delicious. You all have to get in here It's fucking open season on these big naked fish. Yeah Land fish keep coming in here no more. will say, I have been to Barton Springs before where I did not get in the water, because it is a neat place.

It really is quite cold and gross. But one time I was there, I saw the best thing I've ever seen my entire life, which is somebody was flying a drone there, which you're not supposed to do, because there's some people that like, topless, some day that Barton Springs, which I guess is okay there.

And people were like yelling and pointing at it. And I saw some fucking very crunchy, just incredible sort of bodie type. Take a frisbee, fucking fling it at this drone, and explode it in the air, and the crowd literally went wild. I love that. It was the coolest thing.

It's the coolest thing I've ever seen anyone do because there's so many ways that that could have been bad, like you could have missed or dropped pieces of. If you missed, you have to leave. You have to leave. And you can never throw a frown again. So confident though, this man had just come back from from froth.

He smashed his drone up good and was a hero for the day. It was amazing. What's his first thing? You can't even be the person who storms out like, hey, that's my drug, because everybody's mad. Yeah, for being a pro. You just have to be like, like come out like, oh man, I feel bad for whoever's drug there.

Yeah, man. As you served, I just found this drug control. I could have been anyone. It's got blood. Yeah, or if you're the mom who's like drone trappin' will has just fallen on my children and hurt them very badly, but that was, but listen bro, fucking sick toss man.

Like a huge flame. That was the ultimate frizz. Yeah, right there. Oh no, everything's down hill after that one. Oh, that was the ultimate one. Yeah, man. Yeah. We'll never frizz be like that again. Do we want to go to the money? I found him here after that one, oh that was the ultimate one. Yeah, man. We'll never first be like that again. Do we want to go out of the money?

I mean, we have to legally. Let's take a break. I can't believe we only got through one question. What did we spend so much time on? Anyway, let's take a break and we'll get to the one. Let's. Is that a movie? Have you ever wanted to start your own movie studio? Now's the time.

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by selling access to gated content like videos, online courses, or newsletter. That's right, they done change the game again. Amazing. So, head newsletter. That's right. They don't change the game again. Amazing. So, head to... It's amazing. Head to go to checkoutsquarespace.com slash my brother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code of my brother, all one word, to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace, build it, Twanko. Tsk. Hey Sydney, you're a physician and the co-host of Saul Bones, a marital tour of misguided medicine,

right? That's true, Jessen. Is it true that our medical history podcast is just as good as a visit to your primary care physician? No, Jessen, that is absolutely not true. However, our podcast is funny and interesting and a great way to learn about the medical misdeeds of the past as well as some current not-so-legit healthcare fats. So you're saying that by listening to our podcast, people feel better.

Sure, isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor? Well, you could say that. And our podcast is free? Yes, it is free. You heard it here first, folks. Sawbones, Merylter, misguided the medicine right here on Maximum Fund just as good as going to the doctor.ided medicine right here on maximum fund, just as good as going to the doctor. No, no, no, still not just as good as going to the doctor, but, but pretty good. It's up there.

Hi, I'm Ketchup. And I'm Socks. And I'm Ball Barings. And I'm Pigeons. And I'm Water Towers. And I'm Cardboard? Surprise, we're actually humans. Humans making a podcast about those kinds of topics.

Because those are real episode topics on the podcast, secretly incredibly fascinating. That's a podcast where we take ordinary seeming things like ketchup and socks and cardboard and bring you the little known history and science and stories that make those things secretly incredibly fascinating. Secretly incredibly fascinating. Secretly incredibly fascinating!

The title of the podcast. Hear the back catalog any time and hear new amazing episodes every Monday at MaximumFun.org. I'm so fucking afraid of Slender, man. Griffin, I'm so proud of you for finally admitting it. Here's a fear of being on. That's the fist step. First step is a place for healing. That's the first step is to admit that Slender Man

is real and it's okay to be afraid of him. Yeah. Luckily, I also have- And natural, I would say. Yes. I have this wisdom from the wizard, Jace, Sinted, and thank you so much. And it's a wiki- how article of how to get over

your fear of slender man. The monsters under your bed and in your closet are long gone. Now your nightmares are packed with visions of this faceless skinny man with abnormally long arms and a really nice well-pressed suit. You're practically pining. Oh, you're practically pining for the days of the bogey man. Never fear wiki how is here.

Of the bogey man. Of the bogey man and his terrible frgeyman. Never fear Wiki Howe is here. Of the Bogeyman. Of the Bogeyman and his terrible frispes. Never fear Wiki Howe is here. To get over fear of Slender Man, read on. When you are done, heck, he'll be the one fearing you. Whoa. Who wrote this? Who wrote this?

Wiki Howe. Oh, sorry, William Schroeder, M-A-L-P-C-N-C-C. So I believe that is a licensed professional. Schroeder in a LPC in CC. So I believe that is a licensed professional. You're a hunter, paranormal. Charles, it's me, paranormal Charles. Didn't you just say your name was William? I'm a licensed paranormal Charles. Thank you.

Using your logic, one, know that you could take him. Sure, maybe he's seven feet tall. Based on what, Charles? He's seven feet tall, but he's a stick. You know his name's Linda Mann because he's skinny, very skinny. And he was probably a geek in high school, which is why he's acting like a very masked man.

He could totally kick his flat butt if he came at you. So I guess the first step is to really. Does it say flat butt? So the first step is to really, really body shame slender man. Yeah, that is the first thing. And also, let's see, experience and embrace hubris. I guess which has always been successful in any story. You know, in your story where somebody looks at another one

because that scrawny geek, what Frank could he be? Think about every, like horror movie you've ever seen and imagine one of the main characters like Slinter Man. If I see him, I'll kick his skinny bitch ass. I'll kick that dude's flat butt. That's what does that guy's dead first. That guy's dead first, definitely. I'll kick his skinny bitch ass. I'll kick that dude's flat butt. That's what time? Guys that first, that guy's dead first, definitely. I'll kick his flat butt.

What are you, wait, Todd what? I'm just saying, I see that guy's butt man. He don't got a GZ's on good enough. He's got a flat butt and I could fucking kick it. You could pork right next to that guy and you would not be murdered. No, I could hit it with bypass you and come right from him. I missed the bogeyman's badass.

Yeah. Yeah. Ah. His nice flat butt does nothing for me. Whoa. It's gone weird places here, Brian. Think of it follows, you know, it follows him. And that's a flat butt, that's what I think.

That's what follows. Think about his background. Let's take what we know. I don't see anything as background. I'm looking for it. I don't see anything. Let's take what we use. This back is flat. That's what we're saying. It's not rounded at all. Let's take what we know. I don't see anything as background. I'm looking for it. I don't see anything. Let's take what we need. This back is flat.

That's what we're saying. It's not round at all. Let's take what we know about this guy, which admittedly is very little. He wears a suit every day. What kind of person wears a suit every day? Either he's incredibly educated and has a well-paying job or he's Barney Stinson, who I think,

if memory serves to me, he has a well-paying job. Let's consider if you ask him what he did, he would say, please. So you don't know his job. It's kind of a fun job. So it's not like a bit that they do. Yeah, he doesn't say his job from the hit show high, maybe.

And then in the finale, I have to check that out. No spoilers. And the finale, it reveals that he's a human trafficker, which is fucking wild, man. You made me root for this, dude. That sucks, man. And he's made me root for this dude. That sucks man. And he's traficking, that sucks dude.

That actually sounds like a better last episode than for how I met you. Sure, but what they actually do. Slender man, let's consider both theories. Slender man is wealthy and educated. If this is the case, he's probably open to reason. Onsar, he prefers the aisle seat on an airplane, doesn't eat very much junk food,

watches very little television, and listens to audiobooks on his commute to work. I now know exactly the type of podcast that Slinterman listens to. It's not this one. It's not this one. Oh, thank God. If you listen to this, you would know all our strategies.

It's once that yell at you for not having a million dollars by the time you're age 23, because you just not, you must not be working at all, huh? Or Slinterman is a misunderstood party stinson. If this is the case, it's possible. Okay, there's nothing that's going to be funny in this section. Let's think about his mortality, though. Think about the other part of his name, Slender Man.

Man. He's a man. He has, he's not Slender God. He's, has hopes. That's true. He has hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities and desires, loads of which are probably unfulfilled, just like the rest of us, help. He's wandering around the woods with no one to talk to, how terrible a fate. He probably prays for death every day,

but it never comes. What? Wait, hold on, big jump there. Well, get ready for this very next sentence. Slender man will die. That is, that is, if you believe he's alive. More on that later, he has not been alive since the height of the Egyptian empire

and he cannot haunt you forever. In fact, he probably gets a cold a few times a year. He's just like the rest of us, mere mortal. Hey, okay, okay, can I just say, we're all parents here. Yeah, our children have experienced some sort of fear at this where I assume. Imagine this is how you addressed that.

So wild. Yeah, it's really wild. That you didn't start with what I think this article just hinted will discuss later, which is that he's not really well, he said, no, no, no, no, no, that he's not really alive. He could be a ghost man, he could be unalive, it could be any amalgamation of that.

Sure, I didn't even get that. But I am brought peace. If my child came to me and was like, daddy, daddy, I'm so afraid of Slender Man, then I could definitely come to him with the very like tender, gentle parenting response of like, well, someday Slender Man will die. And probably before you were on.

We just have to hold out. We just have to keep holding hanging in there. And that's from that. And after that, we don't have to lock the doors anymore. We can put up the bunting. Yeah. It'll be fine. We'll have a big party in the streets.

We'll all bring our favorite, you know, jello molds and shit. It's gonna be great. But until then, I do this as my kids about Trump. So, I think that makes it, I think that we used to it already. I still have to feel kinda scared of. Well, visualize this hugs. Do you know how many people Slinter Man could hug at once?

How amazing would it feel to be in a group of half a dozen people all sharing the same hug at the same time? It is bonding. I came around on this one, because the first thing of this hug was scary to me. But then the idea of every hug with Slinter man is a group hug. Yeah, pretty nice. That's cool Next time you dream about slender man think about hugging him. I'm already doing that in my dreams Thank you so much

He'll probably start blubbering like me and tin of my friends. He'll probably start blubbering like a baby and talking to you about how he was called octopus boys a child. Now all of a sudden I'm like actually being asked to do a lot of sort of emotional heavy lifting for the slender man. And that actually would be kind of,

and now I'm afraid for a different reason. Yeah, no, yeah, I'm afraid for the same reason I'm afraid to be hugged by people in real life that I don't know very well, which is all of a sudden I'm gonna be responsible for some of your emotional load and I really don't know how to handle that. This guy has no eyes, no mouth or ears. He cannot see you smell you, breathe on you, or hear you.

Like, it says this, like for real now. Yeah, okay. He probably has a six sense of some sort. Maybe he sees dead people. So yeah, he can teleport. That's awesome. More on that in a bit. Wait, what? Hold on. Once again, yeah, maybe he's got a six sense. Yeah, you can teleport. That's not a six cents. Like you know that, right? Like, okay, so now we're getting into the sort of psychosexual part of every wiki how article where it does say picture him.

Keep your grades up. Keep your grades up. And then picture him as Kalamari. Those tentacle arms that pop out of his back would be delicious. Not to go all cannibalistic on you, but if you were to eat slender man, think battered and deep fried,

yum. Wiki how can help you here with articles Man, think battered and deep fried, yum. WikiHow can help you here with articles on cooking calamari and frying calamari? So I guess that's one sort of really wild way to go about facing, it's like a new kind of a merget therapy where you think about eating the thing you're very scared of. So at the beginning of this article, when it's said by the end of this article,

Slender Man will be afraid of you. This is what it was talking about, right? Yeah, because you're the Slenderman eater. You consume it for fuel. Yeah. I'm the full man. I'm the hungry man. Yeah.

Do your research. He's not real. So what is the point of being afraid? That's not funny. Start with that. First of all, why did you leave with that? He's not real, so don't worry about it. But if he is, that's how you do it.

This is awesome. Do the math. There are about 7.5 billion people in the world and just as many places. In fact, many more where he could be if he were real. What's the odds he's coming after you? What makes you so special that Slenderman would show up on your doorstep unless you're leaving in milk and cookies, he probably won't. I'm having a hard time following if I'm supposed to be taking this article seriously or not, because they keep throwing in little jokes. I'm worried too.

I was up frankly, if I leave milk and cookies on my doorstep, I'm more worried about wild animals than anything else really. Yeah, you know who it probably has a really hard time having the thought of like, who am I so special that Slinter Man would show up on my door to kill me? The person whose door Slinter Man has just showed up on to kill them. They probably are the only people

having the thought of like, oh wow. Oh wow, it is me today, huh? Ah, shit. Well, jokes on you. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. ha, ha. Get in this fryer. Normal stuff next. Use him as a port key.

If you think about it, Slenderman would be a pretty cool superhero. He can just pop up in places randomly. How sweet would that be? All you have to do is get close to him, latch onto him, away from the teleport, like a port key and Harry Potter.

Fucking cool, all right. Next thing, very next step. use him as a tardis. So that's kind of something. It kind of seems like you just want to just sort of write about some other sort of fiction guy. You're trying to set up a slender man verse, and I appreciate it. The slender verse sounds cool.

That actually sounds like a wanker, baby. I would. Damn it. This is a new pitch for Slender Man too, because I think they did make a Slender Man movie. Probably wasn't very good. But what about a zany one where we get, let me think, okay, I don't know if I want Timothy Shalema to be Slender Man or the boy. He's both. Okay, and he's just very rude to Slender Man and will jump on him and teleport

to go on like zany adventures all over time and space using him like a tardis or a blender boy it's his son slender boy slender man and slender boy my neighbor slender boy I have to go to work no take me to King's Island back slender man slender man andonka, we can do a crossover where maybe like, Shalamewaka is like making stretchy saltwater taffy that turns into slender man and then Timothy Shalame's in the movie three times.

And then they all turn into hard battle and trucks and you got Tonka. And that's the fourth one and that's gonna be. I love this. Hey, is that all that you have, Griffin, or you have more advice? I mean, there's a lot of just sort of like empower yourself. Yeah, it started, it felt like it was deteriorating into fan fiction, so I didn't know. Oh, did you start that way, Jamin?

Did you start that way? That's fair. No, that's fair, yeah. And actually started as a thing that I would call like bully fiction. It was quite a fan of it. So much is like, let me tell you all the things I hate about that nerdy flash. I wish I had a Bible.

I just want to read this last thing in the second section. I'm not going to go any further than this, but act like he's your BFF. And then, in quotes, Hey, Slender Man, what's up, my man? Imagine that if you- I heard what you said about my flat butt.

Oh, no, no, Travis, he's our BFF now. Imagine that if he's up, my man? Imagine that if you- I heard what you said about my flat butt. Shhh. No, no, no. Travis, he's RBFF now. Imagine that if he's there, you're gonna have a sling deep party. Do the wave and eat some Doritos. If nothing else, he'll initially be freaked out by your warmth and gumption. No one else has the conez to be so friendly and inviting.

So that kicks ass, man. Yeah, I'm, yeah. I love when I am hanging out with friends. And it's like, well, we're having a party. So let's do the wave and eat some to read. Let's do a small self-contained wave here in this party with eight people at it while we eat some Doritos together. I love you, cylinder man.

I want to be your best friend, and I want you to be my time machine and my dinner. You're everything to me. You're everything to me. You're everything I need. Here's a question. Back in 2018, my friends and I found a small, dark, unfinished crawl space under the stairs

of our college dorm building. We decided to hide a pack of Pepsi in there and made a deal that would go back to the dorms crawl space when graduated in December 2020. And we'll drink the Pepsi as a final farewell. However, because of COVID, we were unable to go back and complete this mission. It has now been almost five years and we have not claimed those Pepsi cans. We're going back to my college time office for a wedding and we really want to get the Pepsi's back. However, none of us go to that school anymore, let alone movies in the building. And we really want the Pepsi.

How should we proceed? What if some of the group is stolen our sacred Pepsi? That's from Pepsi in purgatory. Man, as time goes on, we just find out more and more stuff that COVID ruined. Yeah. And this is, I'm starting to think COVID was a bad thing. It was a bad idea, I thought, yeah, I wouldn't have done it

that way. I am just envisioning a quiet afternoon in the library. And then we just hear squeaky boots on the marble floors and then the sound of a sledgehammer. As someone starts smashing up the marble floors of the library and someone comes over like, what are you doing? And it's like, I have to get,

I have to get the sacred Pepsi. If you look, it's noon right now. The sun is shining through that circle of stained glass right here on the ground. So this is where I have to smash it up to get my Pepsi back. It's Kylie Jenner and she's like, there's a protest going on outside. I think I might have been able to find a place

to break real bad out there. I gotta get this Pepsi and calm everybody down. Everyone's got swords and chains. If I don't get this Pepsi, call everybody down. Everyone's got swords and chains. If I don't get this Pepsi, everyone is a god. I don't get this Pepsi out there to these cops. He's gonna be mad, I got a fish chain. This is the only way. I have some good news for you.

In my experience, in your original plan as outlined, by the time you graduated in 2020, the Pepsi would be undrinkable track. Absolutely. Poisonous. You know that right? Like it would be poisonous. And so what you're really talking about is you couldn't go get your trash during COVID,

but you would like to come back and tidy up after yourself now. Yeah. And that I think is a pitch you could get past the authorities. If you're like, I accidentally left, well, trash now. Yeah. And I'd like to go get my trash. But I do need those Pepsi points because there was a bag I was saving up for

and if I don't get those Pepsi points, oh, they're just kind of wasted and that's on you. Oh, when you should prepare yourself, these have leaked. These have leaked. The sweat in your sticky soda. You have all over the ground. You've created, like a whale fall. You've created a Pepsi-fall ecosystem underneath the storm.

You're gonna pull, pry back the bricks under, leading into this crawlspace and see some like crab with a human face like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. You have made Pepsi men. This is who they are. They're not fun, silver-suited refreshment delivers.

They are little crab monsters. This is their fantasy world. This is like, this is what Ants have been waiting for. This is Antlantis. They've heard about it. Six Pepsi cans, just lie in there and go drink your fill.

No problem. I think even ants, this three year old, or perhaps up to seven year old soda, is going to be two-nour for a bug to drink. I think- Now they use it to power their society. This has become a first answer eating it. They didn't know any better.

But now this is their fossil fuel. Yes. It's just like we use the Pepsi to power the thing. And now that there are little ants, we're like, but we can't replenish this. There's no more. Once we're through these six cans, there'll be no more.

We need to start using alternative fuels. And they're like, ah, get out of here. And it's like the smoke from the Pepsi juice. It's ruining the crawl space. But they're like, listen, Justin. That's our kids problem. Yeah. We'll not worry about that today.

Um. Buh-buh-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu- Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. I want to. What? What? Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. What can a bunch of quite a spot guys with them podcasts, profiling latest graces and brand eating? Do you guys remember Chippy? No. Chippy was the robot that made chips at Chipotle. Sure.

Sure. Do you remember this? We spoke on this a while ago. He was a robot that made chips. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. And then the writers see the writers. I'll give you a one. Just a quick, I'll give you a reminder video here that I have. We don't need to hear it, but basically you cut up the line. That's a person, Justin. Yeah. The person cuts, cuts at the limes and then chippy, the chip robot fries the chips and perfectly limes insults them. He can't figure out how to do some of it so the human does have to cut the limes. Well, I think they can't be trusted with a knife. It's what it is. That's true. They don't want

to equip chippy with a knife. Well, good news guys. Chippy has got a friend and it's an avocado robot. It can cut, core and peel avocados. And it is called autocado. Autocados. It's called autocado. Okay. Do we have a video of autocado? Because I have in a hard time thing.

My human hands are incredibly graceful and skilled and even I struggle with the intricacies, the curvature of a... With auto-cada, VEBOO, the company behind it, worked with certified training managers at Chipotle locations, gave them fucking all our secrets.

Sure. Oh, the human secrets. To analyze preparation processes and identify time consuming tasks, as well as those employees didn't, most of the employees didn't rate highly. Oh boy. This is like, this is like, here's the,

oh, the jobs that we fucking hate. Here's number one, the robots can have it. Cutting avocados, give it to the bots, absolutely. Do you think a big part of the training and programming was just convincing robots that avocados are a thing that humans should eat? Yeah. Like handing it to a robot and robots like, are you? This is pretty wild looking. Are you look at that? There's no way. Presently Chipotle dedicates specific crew members to cutting, pouring and scooping avocados. On average, it takes about 50 minutes to make

a bunch of a batch of guacamole, the company said. And now I will premiere. I'm going to premiere this guy here. I want you to meet auto, auto. You described the process. We're dumping so many avocados into a tray. And then it looks like they're being sort of gooshed with many blades. So many blades. So many blades. And then someone pulls out a drawer where many have to avocados have been. There's no way that but then a human man has to mush it.

A man has to. This is what I'm saying. This is where it falls apart for me. Okay. The man mush the man has to come afterwards and be like, I'll take it from here. Moosh, moosh, moosh, moosh, moosh, moosh. Well, I'm just about to moosh.

No, it doesn't, here's what happened. They rolled out AutoCotto, AutoCotto roll out. And then they were like, okay, but Dan's kind of our guacamole guy. Yeah. And like, he's 10 years. We can't fire Dan. And they're like he's 10 years. We can't fight a Dan. And they're like, okay, we'll turn off the mushing part and Dan could do that part.

Like, hey, thanks. That means a lot. But there's got to be an engineer there who's like, ah, man, the mushing part, it's so good at. Because it's a, that's a, that's all right. I don't know if you guys know this. It's a machine made out of gears and servos and electricity. Mushing is what machines do.

It's the easiest part of it. In fact, we have to figure out how to peel it, keep the avocado house whole. As an engineer who designs human facing products, I find that most of my time is spent reducing the machine capacity of the machines I've been. When you look at this, you sort of look at the avocado halves. The peel is off off the flawless.

It's flawless. The core, which is now the pit is out. They are perfectly shaped. Yes. Hap. And then the robot has to watch as you hand it over to a human. Yeah, good taste of big mallet.

I'll smash it up. I'm gonna smash it up. What, but I was so careful. Papa, no. Why did you make me go through all the, breaking them insane, they definitely could have mushed it in the machine. I was so careful.

What's that? You're putting it in your mouth and mushing it further. What? What are you doing? You're getting into what? With your mind. My heart. They're going into what? With your mind. I heard.

They're gonna have to turn. I could have been a surgical robot. Did you see what I did with avocado significantly softer than human beings? This is what you've made me do? I got a quibble with the robot thing. Honestly, you made a machine that peels off a caudas. I don't call my countertop toaster oven. I don't call it a pop-top robot, you know?

It's just a toaster. You just made a machine that peels off a caudas. Good on you, man. It's tough, I don't know how you did it. I hear it tastes like 50 minutes to make a batch. So that's like the most of the programs of the programming there to be fair went into making the robot hate doing it.

That was, yeah. That's where the robot part comes in. It's easy to build a machine that'll do it. A real chicken's having a robot be like, fucking damn. Do you guys, you've got to cut this? Obviously, Anacada, this is not, this is a big nothing burger.

Do you guys think, because this is my current working theory, that the whole reason for Otocato's existence is the engineers kept coming in to do their weekly Chippy checkups, and they'd be like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, Chippy has it going, and then every single time Chippy just answers,

Chippy, horny, and they'd be like, Chippy buddy, I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. You're a chip. You're a tortilla chip making robot. Why problem make Chippy horny a bit horrible? Chippy horny and alone. Yeah, I mean chip. Yeah. You make choice make sure make Chippy horny. Chippy. I know why you program Chippy get horny. Chippy. I've designed you to cook and zest up tortilla chips. I did not think that being horny was gonna be. I'll tell here, Horny. Shippy, I designed you to cook and zest up tortilla chips. I did not think that being horny was gonna be, I'll tell you what,

when we tried to remove that part of your programming, you couldn't do salt anymore. So it turned out they were connected somehow. Yeah, sorry about that, bud. Please connect Chippy to internet, Chippy. I don't wanna connect it to the internet, buddy, because that's not gonna be a good- We tried that back in H.Q. And you remember that happened? FBI watchlist. Yeah, Chippy, I don't want to connect it to the internet, buddy, because that's not going to be a good. We tried that back in HQ and you remember that happened?

FBI watch list. Yeah. AutoPotto is a gaped question. Kurt Garner, the chief customer and technology officer at Chipotle. Yeah, I guess he's the officer of both customers and technology. That's fine. We're committed to exploring collaborative robotics to drive efficiencies and ease pain points for our employees. The intensive labor of cutting,

coring, and scooping avocados could be relieved with autocato, but we still maintain the essential culinary experience of hand-matching and hand-preparing the guacamole to our exacting standards. Just like we promised Dan. Ah, boy. I love it. Yeah, so that is my out there. How do I get one of these in my house? When are they gonna deploy these? Keep your children away from auto-cato for the love of God,

definitely. It will not stop until it removes what it perceives as the kiss. It cannot, it does not discern whatever you put into auto-cato. It cannot discern. But you also, And also, if you don't hand mash whatever it cords at the end, it gets very angry.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what they don't tell you about auto-cato. Once you turn it on, one, no off switch, and you have to keep feeding it off of us. Yeah. That's the worst part. It's avocado powered. They weren't even thinking. Yeah. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast.

We hope you've enjoyed yourself. We got, we got the shows, live shows, you can come see us. San Diego, this week, we are coming for you with special guest, GM, which game mom in this context, Brennan Lee Mulligan. That is going to be a massive fantastic task show. We're also doing my brother and my brother and me. If you have a question that you want to be read at that member, my brother, my brother, me show email it to mbmbm at maximuma.org and put your city in the subject line. We'll also be doing a panel and signing at San Diego Comic Con.

Great. Later on, we're going to be at Seattle, uh, at the end of August, New York Comic Con, uh, October 12th and 13th. It's all all the info. Is it bit that OI 4x Maclory tours? Um, we got merch over at McRoy merch that you're just going to love some candles. Um, and let's say thanks to Montaine for the use of the same song. Yeah, I know. I was going to do that. I don't know why you're shrieking it in such a weird theme for the whole year. Well, just because Justin took the part that I normally do where I say like today.

Oh, so you were doing a Griffin voice. Is that what that was? I was just trying to be dominant for once in my life. Thanks to Montagne for these for a theme song. Montagne has caused a terrible fight here. But so this feels disigited now. I hope there are appropriately ashamed. Good, because this is...

It's called My Life Is Better With You, it's a great track. Thank you, Montagne. And now, our own song, in a way, not really rhythmic or melodic in a way, but it sounds that feels good. Here we go. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, brother, brother, brother. Make it your bad. Square on the lips. It's better with you. It's better with you. It's better with you. It's better with you.

It's better with you. It's better with you. It's better with you. It's better with you. It's better with you. It's better with you. It's better with you. It's better with you.

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My way, oh, it's better with you. and audience supported.