My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 671: Sun's Out, Pits Up

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

It's Sloppy Wet Boy Summer out here, just in time for August. We've got everything you need to do it up right, including a black tie tank top, mystery rocks, and Justin's handmade splinter-free lotion spatulas.Suggested talking points: Ben Shrekpiro, Hot Boy Hot Dog Summer, Malligator, Spatula Splinters, Like the rapper?, Shittles, Coffee Restaurants, Recursive Infinite Cookie SchemeEarthjustice: https://earthjustice.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sex expert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? What, there are three! It's the start of something beautiful A small quaintant has blossomed It's wrapping into a precious friendship

I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like It's better, it's better with you My life, it's better with you This is you It's better, it's better with you My life, it's better with two. I like you. I like you.

It's better with you. Hello everybody and welcome to my brother, my brother and me in advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. Well me? Thank you for asking. I'm your middle-est brother. Travis Patrick McElroy.

The pits are out. Whoa. Suns up McElroy the pits are out whoa Sun's up guns up pits are out hot boy summer has begun. I don't think it's sons up guns up I don't think it's like guns up. I don't think people keep their sleeves on while they sleep And as soon as the sun Rip rip hot dog summer is started August is when hot hot boy summer starts now Sorry, but you did say Hot Dog Summer. Hot Dog Summer. It's hot dog summer.

It's out guns up. Let's go. Hot Dog Summer, baby. Let's go. It's hot every one summer. It's hot, it's a hot one out there, but Hot Boy Summer. I want to talk about Griffin's choices.

Griffin. In life. I don't, I think that the tank top thing is, first of all, in a professional environment like this Unhinged but I think it's a holdover from Austin you are indoors Yeah, there's no reason for you to be at a tank top. Hey, whoa Griffin right. Hey, Griffin my man You look great. I don't know. I just is coming down so hard on you. I love this dry

You look amazing. No, go ahead you drag drag don't know why justice is coming down so hard on you. I love this drive. It's easy. You look amazing. No, go ahead, you drag my fucking ass. Cause this is my job. Okay. Okay. Despite what my grandpa Dan says, this is our job and it is my job. It is a professional environment.

That and I hate you. That is a black tie formal tank top Griffin's wearing. It's true. I look like I'm ready to go apply to be, I don't know, like a man, did you have any available, excuse me, anything of management today? I would say at best.

That's a labor market's fucked, you know, just grab a spatula. You could be a host at like a more upscaled, like a chiles, you could be a host of the chiles. I look like the Boogie burglar, who is a burglar who goes to the beach to steal Boogie boards. Oh, the Boogie burglar just, he strikes again because it's hot dogs on my...

And I look like a, like I'm dressed like a e-gamer, which is the last time I'm wearing a e-sports bag. You're dressed like a sports guy. You've had a lot of fun dragging my ass. We gotta talk about Travis's fucking Nylon e-sports fucking. My jersey. It's jersey that he's wearing It was the way them was sir when I'm putting in the time

Travis I'll see some old school gaywear controllers on there so yeah man that's Kicks ass oh yeah well you see guys I Participated in the charity eSports tournament to raise money for kids I can't believe I'm the one getting made fun of today can't believe you all I heard I've only heard about your charity gaming tournament that you did. Travis is so proud of the, I heard Travis brag about his charity gaming tournament

to my wife when she had been home from the shelter for people experiencing homelessness, so giving free medical care to kids. Like welcome back, Sid. Big update. I played Valorant for charity. Yeah. Well, kind of helping people locally.

But the thing about an Eastward's Charity Gaming Tournament was helping people virtual globally. What I was gonna say. It's more, I think I was trying to think globally and act virtually. Travel, he gets in the back, he tries to show it, but it said, ask me about my one charitable act. Yeah. Just tap him on the chair. Ha, ha, ha. I can't see the background in the shirt, but it's asking me about my one charitable act.

Yeah, just tap him on the shirt. Ha ha ha. Oh, guys, it's good to be back in the studio. It's good. I can't believe we didn't feel like recording 10 minutes ago. The energy's so good now. So the voice-over. I pushed through, get the hot dog summer, man.

I think you can hear me feel in towards the end. That was a voice-over, man. I think you can be real in towards the end of the summer. Dogboy summer man, we love dogboy. If you come in right at the end of Hot Boy summer, then everyone's gonna assume you had an entire Hot Boy summer, but you really only have to get it going for like a week. No, no, for a period. Yeah, yeah. It's exhausting.

I had, oh, I had Hot Boy summer in France. Like you didn't see it. But I was over there the whole time with my cool uncle, Jacques. Jacques, who basically invented hot dog summer. Yeah. He is a dog, he is a French dog boy. And he's cool as shit. And he let me drink wine, because over there, that's how they do it.

Guns out, pits up. Wine, wine, wine for days. Wine in, make the wine go in, hot box summer, let's go baby. Suns out, pits up, wine in, and it's up, pits down, guns in. Worries out, worries out, worries out, wine out.

Yeah, out where people can see them. Yeah, worries spoken. Now it's your problem. Yeah, it's all of our problems. That's kind of what Hot Boy Summer is all about making your problems, everyone else our problems. That's kind of what hot boys summers are about making your problems everyone else's problems hot boys summer Should we do the show no I don't want you to oh wait what do you drink juice juice? Juice you little call of eat

What is all the break? Turbo juice all the break don't talk to me until I've had it hot boys summer drink that job Forget it and there's a It's about making hot inside, make a body hot inside with hot, with hot beverage. Yeah, I'll tell fun. I'm gonna watch a lot of these clips Tom was putting together.

We're on TikTok. We wanna find his McRoy family over there. A big deal. It's not a big deal. They let us on. We applied, they said yes. It's cool. And I feel like whenever I see a clip,

I just feel like what the rest of the episode wasn't in good. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know where the nugs are. When you're recording, I wish we could just skip to the nugs and do like the couple TikToks that we're gonna get out of it.

You know, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, well, I feel like, what I'm saying is maybe nobody's got time for podcasts anymore. Yes. Well, now you say that Justin, but there's an hour long video on our YouTube channel of a little gif of Griffin dressed as a tiny sailor boy bouncing around the screen for an hour. And so far about 40,000 people have watched it.

Tribute to everybody who came out to watch that entire hour-long video, it was really, I didn't know things like that happen on the internet anymore. If you're not following us on YouTube, you really should, because it was just an hour-long video of a little image-agripping bouncing around on the screen like a DVD logo.

And with everyone, thousands of people came to just experience it live. They called it the new hands across America. It was incredible. They called it the new hands across America. It was incredible. They called it the new Hamilton. They probably followed us. Really good. Follow us there.

Please can we do advice and questions and jokes and bits and segments? We're doing jokes. Ooh. I think that's better. I think that's better. There it is. That's better.

We're like Dave Barry of podcasting. We're doing a reverence. We're talking about jokes. Oh, that's the next best thing to jokes. Sure. Okay, I work at a read- It's always hard. The first one we do after we do so many live shows.

Like we just did too. Yeah, and it's really hard. You know what I mean? It's like, is that? It's been inching up. Yeah. Is the spleen still full of my, you know, the rant. Do I have a rent?

The rant. The rant. Yeah. Go off. Go off. Just it. All right. In your classic Dennis Miller as grand.

I work at a retail store at the mall. Beautiful. By we're all happy. I bought you. That was not the mall. Beautiful, babe. We're all happy about you. Sorry. That was not bad, man. It's for an out of pocket. It's for an out of pocket.

No one listening to this, statistically speaking, knows you did this. That is hilarious. Yes. And that's fine. Can you do your superhero? Can you do Shrek? The fact that Dennis Miller is now an outdated reference

that nobody gets is actually the perfect circle coming together and closing. Anyway, Justin, Griffin and I cast both over each other, but it gave me the idea of could you either do Ben Shapiro saying things that Shrek says or do Shrek saying things that Ben Shapiro says Ben Shrek, Bureau. Okay, you're not doing it. Just whenever you're ready. Do you guys want to start selling Ben Ben Shrepp here?

Do you guys want to start selling Ben Shrepp hero I'm like donkeys first. Yeah, get out of my swamp It's not bad. Thank you. I'm an onion, you know, and today like today They just don't want people to be onions anymore, but you like like, I've got layers donkey, you know what I mean? Get out of my shroom. Come on. Fiona, excuse me, Ben Treppiro. Yeah, what can I do for you? Laura Farquad, where are you at with him right now? I feel like, oh, he's got this whole woke agenda of trying to expand into my swamp.

Can I make it up? May I um, reparations? I don't think so. Pretty good. At night, Bidstrack Vera turns into Bidstrack Vera. to. Then Shrek Piro. He's how much. How Shrek but it just flips. Yeah. Yeah. Just flip every way. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly like Lady Hawk. Another great topical reference. Yeah. Ha.

I work at a retail store at the mall. So it's not uncommon that people... Okay, real quick. Oh boy, oh we were so close. That is the longest... He was talking about this video that someone shared a bit of where he's like, my producer has dragged me to the Barbie movie. Did they been? Did they been

My producers physically picked me up. I'm not a very big man. Um, they physically they picked me up They took me to the movie because he's up on slide. They picked me up to the took me to the movies I thought it would be a new Shrek where maybe he's a grandfather now and I was excited about that because I want to see You know how they show that familial bond and how his children have evolved into bigger stronger ogres But no it was the this movie about a doll All right, and I ate popcorn. There's twelve dollars And I bought it with my own money. I've been saving.

My producer said I could have $11 to get whatever I wanted. They said I could get half-diet coke and half full calorie coke because it's a special trait. I didn't get ice because I'm worried about choking. The idea that Fitzgera would get ice at Burger King is like, are you trying to kill me? Look at me. My teeth are so weak. I work at a retail store too. So it's not, it's not uncommon that people leave merchandise for other stores after a certain period of time.

They either come get it or redone it, close some glasses, hands sanitizer, et cetera. This time it was a bag of rocks. I love crystals. This bag was full of amethyst quartz and selenite. None of my other co-workers want it. And they think it's stealing if I take the bag home, but it's been a week and no one has come to collect these wonderful rocks.

Can I keep the rocks or is it stealing? Would this be an unethical source of materials? If I use them for jewelry? Oh my God. It's from rock wanting near rock wall. Come on. It's a lot going on there. That's from the rock wanting near rock wall. Come on. That's the lot going on there. There's a lot going on here.

You found, first of all, you found it. It's gyms. You know, it's treasure. It's treasure. It's gyms and treasure. You found treasure. That's fine. I've been playing Vigil's a while.

Yeah, that's your treasure. That's yours now. You have also waited a week, which I think is a level of restraint. I don't know I would have shown. So look, good on you. It doesn't happen in video games where the hero eventually finds a bag of gemstone crystals while exploring a temple and leaves. And then two weeks later, they're running to someone.

Actually, those are my gemstone crystals. I did leave them at the shrine. I've been looking for them for a while and somebody told me that you picked them up. Give me those back now. They're mine. They're mine now, please. I do think that, hey, if you're listening to this

and you write video games, the next time you have one of those where it's like sell, all the, like these are all just sellable items that you found while exploring these shrines. So have the birth time selling it to be like, this is like museum level quality stuff. What are you doing with this? Like, I found this.

I'm sitting through this. I'm like, I like things I have here are corn and saddles. I don't know how I'm gonna figure this out with you. This is a chalice. Now, is it stealing? Is it stealing? Is it stealing?

No. This is a lost and found scenario. I've worked retail enough to say, this is gonna get put into a box and over time it's either gonna get thrown away or someone else is gonna take it away to a week. Like if they wanted these rocks, they would've come and gotten them in a week.

Yeah, but like maybe I'm pretty, there's a lot of things I need to do right now that I should be doing. Right. I may not get around to it today. Straight up. It's rocks. It's rocks.

I might be like, oh, fucking calling a week. I don't know. Just be there. I'm gonna call it eight days. Who would take my grubby rocks? These aren't grubby rocks. These were purchased crystals. Yeah, that's a mall.

That's actually at the mall. Yeah, that's interesting. Let's get mall. Yeah, that's now that's interesting Let's get into that because malls aren't doing great and so it is a surprise to me that there is a Rocks store at the mall in 2023 that is still crushing that's my favorite part of modern-day American malls Griffin where an empty storefront suddenly gets taken over by the most specific, like this shop, we only sell spices.

And you're like, oh, is that like a destination? Think do people come to them all thinking, and oh, I gotta get some rosemary. Like I don't think that that is what happens of them all. Yet those bitches pop in there all the time. Always. I love it.

The one in the Charleston Town Center, before it shuttered, played host to a country music hall of fame. Oh, West Virginia country music hall of fame. Nice. You can do anything. Oh, my story. Hey, guys, there is literally a, like, herpotology center at the mall now where you can go. Oh, yeah.

Visit with like lizards and alligators and stuff. You can just go. That's that, that's it. The mall. Well, that's great because you know, when I see an alligator out in the wild, I think, you know where I bet he would be more comfortable in an empty KB toys. This is like the setup for like a new like, I mean, the strike is still going on, so I can't be specific, but we'll say drugs bear or airplane serpents. like an odd sort of animal location pairing and the animal goes fucking buck wild. Yeah, Molligator. Molligator shit.

Can we talk about a movie's not struck if we haven't made it yet, right? Right, if it doesn't exist. Okay, so Molligator TMTM TMTM TMTM. TMTM. Yes. Fair. I'm saying there's founds and moles. Molligator comes out, oh no.

Yeah, I heard 20 years ago, we got a delivery of these baby gators, dang things escaped. We'll probably never see those things again. Fuck off, man. Molligator's angry now. Molligator soundtrack on kickass. Hell yeah, it is.

Yeah, it's all in Kelly King Crimson machine good Kelly fucking Okay, why sweat? Yeah, why it's trash. Why is there a panic there? Fuck it switch foot String seasons I love that switch foot track day to fight the Molligator For God to do. To do the duck, to do the punch.

It's weird, they become more secular over time, but their contribution to the Molligator soundtrack was extremely religious. Yeah, we got Joe's the Clay, we got DC Talk, we got all of them up in there. Newfound glory. All of them. All of them.

How the love mull. I think maybe. There would be a, that would be a great music collection. They should do, now that's what I call bands that nobody's quite sure if they're Christian. Yeah, right. I think that's like, I got that vibe. I don't think I've heard them do cousins. Brought to you by insane clown posse.

Now that's what I call bands that may or may not be Christian depending on when you check them out. Now that's what I call pants that may or may not be Christian, depending on when you check them out. I think just, I think take the rocks home. That's the hard part. And then just leave them somewhere safe where you know where it is. And then eventually, you'll be in the clear. Because you don't want them to get thrown away.

If they're at your house, you'd be like, actually, I took those home for safety. There you go. I took them home for safety. There you go. I took them home for safety. To charge them up. That's the thing I'm worried about is the charging of them, because these might have all kinds of dark storage. No, cell and I's great.

Cell and I's great. That's a purification deal. Don't worry about cell and I, oh, people use that in ASMR videos constantly. I know cell and I, that's like, that's the air freshener for spiritual energy, I think. Yeah, the other two. You're gonna go very cool rocks though.

Cool rocks. Cool, cool rocks. I get it. Charge them up. Got one there. My, do you, get stronger? The, dear kids have the thing. As a parent, I feel like this is the most,

the coolest thing you could find. I know great wolf lodges have them. I know that I've seen them at like any like kids place. Yes. They'll have just a big bin of rocks. Yes. Pretty rocks, but rocks. Lovely rocks.

And then it's like get a bag and fill them with rocks. Kids want this. Yeah. So much. And then you give it to them, and you buy it, you fight, and you quit, and then you buy it. And then the moment they cross the threshold, you can almost see it in their eyes, like, I don't have any interest.

I don't have any interest. I don't have any interest in these rocks. Why did you buy me these rocks? There's nothing I can do with these. Why? Sometimes the kids will just set them on the ground. And what? And what? That's K. Hey, hey, mystery solves.

That's maybe exactly what has happened right now. The case, yeah. That could be where we got to. Also, I would argue that taking rocks from the adjacent and then setting them on the ground outside is the same as going to that hermetology place and returning that alligator to the swamp. That's where setting them on the ground outside is the same as going to that hermetology place and returning that alligator to the swamp. That's where rocks belong on the ground outside.

Said those rocks free if you love them. Guys, it's dog, it's dogboy summer. And we have to stay safe. The sun is always out trying to fucking get us. So Sammy sent in this wiki article, thank you, Sammy. And it's how to apply lotion to your own back. Oh, oh, this is maybe the most specific one I've ever heard. The wizard's throne is vacant today because he at the beach. Uh, the beach beach. Let's get away. The beach beach. Let's get away. He's fighting the boogie burglar off his face. You think get away or get away?

That doesn't matter. Okay. So dry skin is a common hassle and your back can be the most dreaded spot to apply lotion. May I? Redded? That's an interesting choice of course.

I also think that, you know, I care about my skin, you know, moistness. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love your skin moistness. Thank you, Travis. The middle of my back, not exactly like, in terms of moisturization, not a pressing concern.

I don't ever really interface with that zone. Obviously, for talking sunscreen, H2T, like you gotta fucking protect yourself. Yeah, I slip and slide through just a big tunnel of sunscreen. And I try to stay. And I try to stay. And I try to stay. And I try to stay. And I try to slide through just a big tunnel of sunscreen, I'd try to come out the other side, just the sloppy wet boy, sloppy wet boy somewhere.

So this one I've never heard before, squeeze a line of lotion onto the tops of both forearms and the backs of your hands. Like fucking like you have cool. Like here, just like a line straight down. Like like, like a lotion, like a lotion. And then what? And then do not rub the lotion on your arms, you're like, like, like, lotion, like a lotion. And then what? And then, um, do not rub the lotion on your arms.

You're gonna be tempting, cause that feels so right. Yeah. Rather, let it sit on your arm in the line you squeezed. You can use as much or as little lotion as you feel as necessary to cover your back completely. Then you place your arms behind your back, bend your elbows. I would not feel confident

that I got 100% of it at that point. It says, depending on how flexible you are, this may hurt a little. Yep. Oh, okay, cool man. It's not how flexible you are, it should be contextualizing the entire article. Look, I'm flexible enough.

I'm not dreading this. Yeah. If you have shoulder pain or not flexible, this method may not work for you. Move your arms in a windshield wiper motion. I don't think I can do that in front of me. Yeah, sure. Uh-oh. I was like, at any point, go find in this article,

does it list like stop driving away your friends and family with all of your weird hobbies, and it doesn't comment to me. There is a deep, deep, and abiding loneliness that is in the sort of background of this article, which is like recently divorced and lost all your friends in the divorce, as a shame. So you're gonna wanna do a line of lotion right on your forearms, right on there,

and then do a windshield wiper. You don't, they don't take you out dancing anymore, but this is like a little dance that you can do to keep yourself safe. Lay out a trash bag on the grounds, right? And then you're gonna squirt lotion all over it. They're just gonna lay down on your back and wiggle around like a stranded turtle. Yeah. Okay, so this is where you're done. It's fun, right? It is fun to do. This is where the wheels fall off.

Method two using a spatula. Oh boy. Get a spatula. You can use a plastic rubber spatula and a wooden one will work too, but avoid a metal spatula. They really, they don't leave any gaps on wiki out. It's bulletproof. Yeah. They tell you everything you need to know. I appreciate this.

Like if I'm doing IKEA furniture and it's like, wait, was I supposed to use a dowel here or one of those weird turn screw things? Here on Wiki, how they tell you literally everything you could possibly want to know. Like, for instance, like, huge. You may not wanna use a spatula that you frequently use to cook.

Yeah, thank you. Yeah. It's possible by one that you can designate for the purpose of applying lotion. Now, why did you find a show to company? There's a why I don't use that one. No, I would hold I would hang it by the front door. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like I got my trunks there. I got my Suntans matchable and

probably oh like a empty and spatula and probably like an empty big gulp cup that I can refill with sand forever, my beautiful fortresses. Right. Right. It is possible to get splinters from a wooden spatula, so be careful when using one. Let's just use plastic to be safe.

Yeah, like I care about the environment, but I don't want either splinters from a wooden or laceration from a metal for me a plastic. I feel like Charmere or spatula is end of article. That should just say like, actually, the game has changed. I got it all through there. They're like, I'm icing my back.

I'm done. I know that I'm pretty loose with my finances, but how cheap a wooden spatula are you buying that splinters is a concern? Right? Is this a rough, just like chunk of wood? I have made wooden spatulas for people in my house, me Justin, okay? And they have never produced any splinters that I'm aware of. So I think this is a solved problem. I don't think we need to worry about splinters that I'm aware of. So I think this is a solved problem. I don't think we need to worry about splinters.

In fact, I think that if you're at a natural setting, I think the only responsible thing to do is a innocent of their earth is to only bring wood to the beach. Because if you lose that, or, okay, what if Smartass, what if a pelican comes? Oh shit. What if a pelican comes? Oh shit. What if a pelican comes?

And if Travis let him explain. What if a pelican comes and you've got your great rovers spatula that was so smart and they get for, well, right there. Right here, think about that. I just, I ruined. No, I listen, I know what happens when one assumes, but I assumed for decorum saying

that whatever lotion applying one was doing with the spatula would occur in the privacy of one's own home and not on the beach in front of God and everyone. No, you gotta reapply. You go to your car to do that, although if I'm in the parking lot, and I walk by a car where I see someone

with a big spatula with lotion on it going, oh yeah, I'll call the police and the fire department. Cause I don't know what's going on. That may be a breeze too. At that moment, be a pelican. You could easily, they don't know about the parking lot, it's not allowed to them. The pelicans will go anywhere, okay?

And they could get right through your window. I've seen the birds, they could smash right there window and crap. You shouldn't bring anything plastic in your, you shouldn't drive a car to the beach that has anything loose on it that a pelican could eat. I think there's a huge business opportunity for us here, for merch to do like handcrafted Justin's own wooden

lotion spatulas. That's safe. That's safe. It's safe, and I'm a little bit worried about how we're going to sort of mass produce these. I think Jews might need to take a step back from the podcasting game and just focus mostly on his Lotion spatula crafting and we're gonna lose money. I feel it now see I actually know we'll charge so much

I feel like if I started doing this it would be instantly more profitable than the podcast for sure It would be like Such a huge commodity like this a this insane kid this this insane Husky boy that doesn't even really like the beach Has made an incredible tool for all this beat for all of us beach bombs. Yeah That's cool and maybe it can also be like a sand digging No, you know, I felt that right I felt the feeling of Re-applying after you've been digging in the sand, filling up your big, old stuff.

No, thank you. That's it. No, now it's exfoliating. That's a mixed folio. You don't want to exfoliate. So, so now we'll also need a, it's gonna cut. Each one of Justin's own wooden lotion, hot boy spatulas, is gonna cost $500, but it comes in a really nice case,

like a case that a nice flute might come in, and you crack it open at the beach, you lotion up, and then you put it right back in the case. Have you guys seen this? Have you seen what the new Woke, the new Woke left product is? It's, it's, it's, it's, now Travis Hullon, you've love here, I get so much.

It's not it, it's nothing. So there's also, I mean, guys, we're only halfway through this one, applying lotion with plastic wrap. This is bad for the pelicans. Cut a two by three foot piece of plastic cling wrap that's way too specific for you to know how much body, audio, audio, I'm working with.

Thank you so much. If you don't have plastic wrap on hand, you could substitute a number of different plastic sheet options. If you have an old disposable table cloth, you could cut from that, cut a strip from a trash bag. You could even use wrapping from a big, pocket toilet paper.

Jesus. Yeah, that's a lot of sort of, you are really pointing out how much waste we create as a society. Yeah. This is a blob of lotion. I mean, you guys probably don't even need me to go on with the rest of this.

Stand with the plastic wrap behind you, reach behind your back, pick up the plastic wrap, put it, squish it on you. This is gonna be so messy. I'm confused, this is why I said put it on the ground and wiggle it around like a turtle. I think that's gonna probably be better. How are you gonna put it,

is it floating in the air behind you? Yeah, this is nothing. Buy a paint roller with a roller cover. Now we're talking. Now we're fucking talking. This is something that we use to apply wall lotion, which is paint. Yep.

That's what they call it. We lotion up the wall so that it looks cool with paint. So this is already, so you're gonna have a soft wall. A solved game, a little bit. I was, we were at a rained out performance, not rained out, but very rainy performance of SpongeBob, and I was sitting in my beach chair.

And the wetness from the thing had awoken, all lotion that had been hard, hard dried into the chair and it reawoken this lotion. And it was loosening the back of my shirt and it was among the least pleasant experiences that I ever had from a physical perspective. How come lotion feels so great on this skin, but shirt lotion feels the worst on the skin?

It's really bad. It's really bad actually. Sorry, there was a linked article here that was how to make your own lotion, and I'm looking at it pretty much. I'm looking at all of these, and I don't know what it is, but they all look really delicious.

We should sell the lotion too. And the spatulas are extremely absorbent. Like, just grossly absorb it. Like if you suck them into a lake, you'd see something. Okay, like really absorb it. Yeah. Like those, like the little capsule things that grow into a bit like,

oh, it's a dinosaur sponge. Except just, it's a spatula that becomes slightly bigger. It's a spatula. Yeah. All right. All right, let's go to the money zone. It's a, it's a data with you. Sorry, was that not? Oh no, just this man, I do it on your own.

I gotta do it on my own. All of it? Do it, do it. your own. I gotta do it on my own. All of it? Do it, do it. Well you, you're whatever you're a little toady, can help you, I don't care. Oh, is that Gravon? I don't care if you're a little toady. You're a little, your girlfriend,

they can help you with your ad stuff guy. I don't care, but you're on your own. Well, Justin, I wanna tell you about Sam's. Tell your ass. Tell your ass about a trap. Well, Justin, I want to tell you about Sam's. Tell your ass. Tell your ass about a trap. Okay, hey, S. You know, Sam's. I do.

I'm gonna pee this so you can go for it. Justin doesn't get any money from these ads. Yeah, just me and my ass. I'm here, too. Oh, okay. Your little shithead fucking totied little idiot. What's Scott Farguss' dude? Uh, it's done a matter.

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Plus, stamps.com automatically tells you the cheapest and fastest shipping options. I appreciate that, but there's a part of me that would also like to know what the most expensive and slowest option is. Like if that is a good, yeah. If I could pay, I could have a hand delivered by like Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

Like, yes. Handle by like Dwayne the Rock Johnson, like, yes. Handle that like he walks across the country to deliver it to somebody. I would probably, I would consider it. So avoid the hassle. Digital, digital has made our lives better in so many ways. And stamps.com is just more of that for mail. So I'm gonna think about, what does that mean?

Go ahead, Trap. Okay, avoid. So I'm gonna think about, go ahead, Trap. Just avoid the hassle and get started with stamps.com today. Sign up with promo code MyBrother, all one word for a special offer that includes a four week trial

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And when you're ready to launch, use offer code, my brother, to save 10% off your first purchase of a website in Germany. Hi everyone, I'm Laura House. And I'm Annabelle Gerwitch, and sometimes, it feels like the whole world is a dumpster fire, right? There's too much to worry about. That's why we make tiny victories.

It's a 15 minute podcast where we celebrate our minor accomplishments and fleeting joys. And listeners call in, like Valerie, who found the perfect gift for her daughter's boyfriend and Adam, who finally turned his couch cushion the right way. And little happiness is, like how Bert's on helps your brain. That's science! So join us in not freaking out for 15 minutes a week.

That's Tiny Victories with Annabelle and Laura Mondays on Maximum Fun. Woo! It's a Tiny Victories system making network promo. Honestly. Are you tired of being picked on for only wanting to talk about your cat at parties? Do you feel as though your friends don't understand? The depth of love you have for your kitty bit?

And you look around a room of people. Do you wonder if they know sloths only have to eat one leaf a month? Have you ever dumped someone for saying they're just not an animal person? S2. She's Alexis B. Preston. She's Ella McLeod and we host Comfort Creatures. The show where you can't talk about your pets too much. Animal trivia is our love language and dragons are just as real as dinosaurs.

Tending to comfort creatures every Thursday on Maximum Fun. Yes I want a month What what just happened what was that noise Welcome, oh, I'm squalter Jesus. I was legitimately Welcome, oh, I'm sure Jesus I was legitimately You're a sin of pain And a profile of the ladies just engraved in brand eating yeah, my name is count Yeah, I'm don't know. Hey, are you enjoying hot? How are you enjoying hot boy summer count? Donut? Oh? Yes, the sun the the beautiful, oh, my torment. It's delightful.

Oh, oh, that's interesting. Okay. Yeah, that wasn't what I thought you were going to say. I film the outside of my home during day. So you're just like filming what other people are doing and then watching it. And I just the outside of my just the experience of being outside my beautiful home. And so you're in your evening, I watched the video. So you're filming people doing stuff. I'll know when who would who would they are clamber over the gate and approach with the dogs and the various traps just to be in my

home videos. No, this is just a film, a film of the outside of my home during the day so I can enjoy it. Why do you keep everybody in like an arm's length? Why are you? To fence a fence link. Okay, but you think you have dogs that let them have the traps? The traps are for their own protection. The dog? From you? Well, from, no, from me, yes, from me, the hunger could be too

great. Don't you live in a castle? A beautiful castle, thank you. Why do you need a fence? It's ornate. We'll really won't go lazy to talk with the factory he still has a book. Not movie. Sorry, uh, count down if there's a strike going on. Oh, you can talk about books books are fucking great man, but hey Griffin, I looked it up on Wikipedia account. Donut is sag so he knows. Okay. Yeah. I am immortal. I do not say Count Donut that's good. I'm sorry. I should have saved that for after I

I am ready to tell you about some no dec'tons Our friends are crispy. I no dictates. Our friends, Chris, Chris, I had thought we would have, I'm going to have to send this image to you telepathically. Okay. I'll tell you when I've sent it, you should know, but just so you're shocked, Chris, Chris, be cream is partnered with Emma and M and M's for the first time ever in the US. Okay. Can you believe it? Okay, what were you, so real quick, just go in the bit, Count Dunno,

what kind of reaction were you expecting that you did not get from you in Travis there? Just any sort of, it's just shocking that these two were finally burying the hatchet. So you thought that we would be like, what even candy on a donut? What? I thought Travis might be like,

you know, sometimes Travis is like, he'll say something like, oh, the wrapper in this kind of. Okay, I see what the sound like. I see what the word is. Yeah, so, you know, in the future, if you have a joke that you want Travis to say you can just tell him Yeah, they'll do it. I'll do it pretty scripted. Yeah

Begin so that these two beloved brands are finally working together which friends begin sorry which brands Krispy Kreme and M and M like the rapper Krispy Kreme and M and M like the rapper. Thank you chocolate candy surprise Donut filled with M&Ms This is like the rapper Okay, I'm going to show you an image of this because you're going to think that I'm making it up otherwise Open your hearts open your eyes That sucks. Oh, God.

There's what to talk about the red one. Yeah, so there's one that looks like a red M&M. It's like a, what looks like a jelly filled donut with a red icing and a big white in on the top of it. As if to give the illusion. Oh, you said of jelly? Get this. On the inside, it's a fucking bunch of M&Ms.

Film with M&Ms. So many fucking M&Ms. It's such a wild eating experience. And it's a bag bunch of im an M's so many fucking im an M's and a bag of M an M's it is it is also set up here in such a way that it appears that what happened is you caught the im an M you took a bite out of it and out spilled its spawn yes it was it's that it was called that yes

if you if you bite this mother fucker the wrong way get the broom Doris because he is going to be a mess. Chocolate iced donut topped with M&Ms who cares. Peanut butter cream filled donut with M&Ms. Donut filled the brim with decadent peanut butter crème, filling dipped in peanut butter icing and then generously garnished with chopped M and M peanut chocolate candies and rainbow dots. This one looks good as hell actually. I would wreck that.

And there's a milny chocolate ice donut top with many iminemes. How many you ask? Oh you. up with many immonims. Sure. How many you ask, oh you? America's most loved donuts and favorite chocolate candy are together at last and you're going to love them. It's an apostrophe and that Dave Schena, the global chief brand of us are for Chris Becrime has employed here the TV's fucking hysterical. Love, oh, oh, I say says my arch in the mean Dave's Ken, crispy creams M and M donuts are available in shop. One would hope and for pickup or delivery on the Krispy

Kreme app on website. The specialty dozen contains four chocolatenets, but it's just four of each. And some insulin just right there. Just slip it right in. Donut and chocolate candy lovers who it's wild. If you're not that, then you're still reading, but okay, donut and chocolate candy lovers can also find for limited time, crispy cream six pack, featuring the chocolate ice donut top with M&Ms. If you saw this in a grocery store, I don't know what you have in your homes, perhaps.

Public, or, bigly wiggly, or maybe if you're very very lucky enough scale a Harris Peter Would you think that is a new product on the market or some old shit that your grandpa probably liked? I'm gonna go to the second one there. I'm so old, I have no scale of time anymore.

But I feel like the idea that someone is telling a chocolate donut with M and M's on it is patently wild. Yeah, that's I think like the third donut that anyone, I'm pretty sure first donut, glaze, second donut, they're like, well, we put a little chocolate on it and then someone was like, like ooh a little sprinkling of Eminent it was number three on the donut invention scale

The the six pack donut by the way is available lists here at Walmart Food lion Hoplicks stator brothers Wake Fern some of those are made or one of those is made up actually Travis. I've made up one of them Which is the state of brothers. They're all real humans You

Trusting Speakable you can share and enjoy these new M&M donuts by using the hashtag. It says here crispy cream As a good one, man. They don't even want you to do it. No, they don't do you think that anyone has ever done that in the history on what where would I put this This is a thread. I'll tell you Zit about my dog I'm sorry. I zete about my done. Zete? Zete, baby. Zete and Skete.

How does using that hashtag help me enjoy the donut more? Cause they know, let's Krispy Kreme know that you like the bed. Yeah, but that doesn't help me. It doesn't help me. I'll be sure. I get that. It doesn't help me enjoy it. It helps with every mad genius came up with the idea for them to put M&M's on the donut.

Yeah, I- I- Rapper? I need them to put Skittles on a donut. And the only way that they're gonna do that is if we make them think that this is the best fucking shit that has ever happened to human kind. They have introduced recently Skittles minis, so perhaps. Skittles minis. perhaps skittles minis Yes

Got it Google this real quick. Wow. They're so there's there no I'm just finding little bags of skittles It's the skittles themselves aren't small Maybe it was something that was rumored on the forums. I've forgotten though What what just happened to you Count Donut? forgotten though. What just happened to you, Count Donut? Are they big skittles? Well, if we're going to include tiny candies in the donut world, then I have to be wise about why I have to educate myself.

Yeah. We got Skittles' giants. Those are still those people getting the UK. That sounds rough. Oh, three times bigger. No, they're softer inside the bag lets you know. Oh, and now, oh, here I'm seeing Skittles solids. It's just a solid chunk throughout.

Yeah. I see here Skittles thumbs. That's great. They're big skittles, but they're also thumb. And oh, here they've got Skittles brittles. Or you just apply it into them, they just shatter into them, million pieces. Now here they have fiber infused Skittles, Brittles. We're just applied in turn, they're just shattering into a million pieces. Now here they have fiber infused Skittles called Shittles.

And those are, those are also in the UK. What the fuck is going on over there? Roat about the Rikkels Skittles. These have insults printed. We have lost the plot a little bit. How do they know? The sun is too powerful. But you like the sun.

I like video of the sun. It just, I guess so. I guess I'm. Okay. Hi, choose. I'm sorry, guys. I was going to do a munch squad, but I don't have anything. Justin, can I tell you what's fucked up?

What? A vampire took over your body and that dude spies on people during the day and then watches like voyeuristically videos. Are you sure you're understanding that correctly? Because that doesn't sound like that. He said he films people in his yard that come to try and take his treasures. He films them and then he watches it. He said, oh no, I can't do his voice.

He was like, oh no, no. Yeah. watches it on he said oh night law I can't do his voice yeah like all night long yeah I like to watch um the people they come in and Travis have you have you heard about this there's traps and the dogs chase them in my yard donkey why did we do other stuff this episode then Ben Shrek here and like it seems like that's where our hearts are. I think that's a good question. Yeah, okay. How about another question, boys? Okay.

Yesterday I went to a coffee restaurant. That is the fucking wildest. Actually such a wild thing that I'm not sure that I can request this question. Sorry, excuse me, you went to a coffee restaurant. Yeah. In order to coffee and a cookie, the line seemed to take longer than usual

and the stressed young man working the window apologized profusely. I politely told him not to worry about it as he handed my order and said, hey, I gave you an extra cookie because of the weight. Shortly thereafter, I noticed the promised free cookie was not in the bag, merely the one I had ordered and purchased, brothers.

Should I have gone back to get the promised free cookie? Would it be okay to bring this up the next time I go to the coffee shop and get, oh, so you do know. You do know that's wrong, right? You know it's called a coffee shop for starters. That's huge. That's huge for us. That's from slightly cookie lists

in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. But you're not cookie lists, though, are you? Are you, you're not cookie? Slightly. You That's from slightly cookie lists in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. But you're not cookie lists though, are you? Are you getting cookie? Slightly. You can't be slightly cookie lists. If that is the case, then we are all slightly cookie lists all of the time. Yes. Here's the thing though.

You win up, you got your coffee from the coffee restaurant and a cookie. You waited a long time. They said, we'll give you an extra cookie, a second cookie. Yes, they did not do you left. You got out of your cookie. You ate it, realized there's not another cookie in the bag. You're like, well, huh, should I go back and get? Here's the thing. If you go back, now you might get two cook, two makeup cookies, right? One, for the first inconvenience of waiting in line second for the forgetting of the first bonus cookie Yeah, and what if you do that and they forget the second bonus cookie and they just give you the first bonus cookie All the time we've got a sort of recursive infinite cookie

Yeah, pretty long be up to our next and cookies. Yeah, I've said but I've played enough cookie clicker I know how this goes. I know doomed. It's okay What if you what if you went back and you said hey Only the free cookie was in the bag and not the cookie I paid for that huge Travis So we're gonna pun it. Is it possible? They just gave you the cookie you paid for for free? You should double check that that was a good all-time thing because that's what I would do I would just zero out that cookie and just chuck it to you No problem. Oh god, that's a good fucking point Justin. Yeah, it maybe just didn't charge you for that cookie because I don't I'll look at receipt

I don't know do you guys look at receipts? I just eat them as soon as I get them. I would think it's very rude to look at a receipt That's I think that I don't want to make anybody feel like they might. There was only one time I don't trust them. Only one time I look at a receipt and it is when you have just ordered food from a drive-through and there is food in that order going to children in the back who are incredibly hungry. Yeah, then you got to check. Well, that's checking the things in the bag. That's checking the day.

Don't check the paper trail on that one. I do it when I buy something at the Lego store and then they're like, make sure that you leave a review at this link. I look at the receipt and I say, definitely. And I walk out of the store and I sit down on a nearby park bench and pull out my phone and do it right the fuck then.

I gotta leave you a review. I have to. And listen, I don't wanna admit that it was me, but folks, this is the perfect time to steal Griffin's Lego purchases from him. He's not. He's deeply engrossed in leaving a review. If you see Griffin outside of Lego store on the bench,

and he's on his phone, and there's a Lego back sitting next to him. You can grab that back. He won't notice for at least three minutes because he's in that review, crafting it carefully. I'm very careful with it. Like a wooden lotion spatula, careful, every detail perfect.

And then he looks up and he's like, ah shit, where's my Millennium Falcon again? And you've got it. If I bought a Millennium Falcon set at a Lego store, I would try to make a Millennium Falcon. Okay, if I bought a Millennium Falcon set at a Lego store. I would try to maybe, oh, Willenium Falcon. Okay, if I bought a Willenium Falcon set from a Lego store, I would hire a private security company to walk me to my car.

That thing costs about $800. Yeah. I'm going to get, I'm going to hand, I'm going to lock it in like a nuclear football briefcase. Yeah. To get it to mycase to get it to my automobile. And then I'm going to have a sort of motorcade to make sure I get home. That's a great idea. I'm going to have that news for you.

What's that? Yeah, big beefy security guard on your right who trust with your wife. Not the one on the left or the one on the right. That was me the whole time losing inside job. God dang it. There's a new Disney castle Lego set That is $500 Psych legit like American dollars. It's is 500 dollars and it don't even got a goofy

It don't know who he's gonna separate it doesn't even have one George leaves It's got some of the other crew, but George G. Fane there and ain't worth it. I mean time where's my time? How many pieces? Okay, check this out. Mickey mini, Donald Daisy and Tinkerbell. All right. They're left. George out. No, George, 500 bucks. Yeah. How many pieces? I'm going to guess 70,000. No, that is a lot of pieces. Four pieces. That's a easy set, man. I can't do that easy. Four K. Four K? Yeah, I can crank that on in a afternoon. What do you do with what I would love? I've had the thought recently several times

that I would love to just sit with a big adult Lego set. Sure. Not like six. Like an adult. No, like a lot like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a,llowness and a sadness. You know what I mean? Like just like it would hit me like a physical wave of depression would hit the moment I put the last brick in. I might have a few grace minutes while my kids and wife pretended to look interested in it after it was complete, but I think then I would probably sink pretty low.

And that is my fear. None of this is a joke, because it's not funny. It's also just an angel. It's not Lego specific, because that feeling. Literally any endeavor. It is, I couldn't spin it. You know, I could spin a lot of stuff, but I don't, even if you're a collector,

that could be a thing, right? Where it's like, yeah, my hobby, my hobby, is that I do this. If I do it once, that's literally nothing. Yeah. But I would like to do it at some point. I just have to be in a really good place. You know, or have something.

Maybe if I have something to look forward to the day after I complete it. You know, if they're opening up and a crumble cookies in my town or something It's about that happening. I'm just kidding those things are what but you get the idea Yeah, just make cookies at home y'all don't go get it you get it You just took a lot of stances on a lot of different shit. Yeah, I'm trying to get some some traction

You know what I mean? Yeah, I feel like that's one way to get people into the conversation Yeah, give them a lot of handholds to grab on to. Some of them are slippery, but it's fine. The internet shit the bed and we're not using video anymore. This won't be pulled out of context. That's huge for us. Yeah. Understand the whole thing.

It's not going to be one of Tom's gotchas as he calls him. Yeah. We're all set out of context to try to shame us. Let's stop. Yeah. My name is Justin McR what? No, hold on. No wait We have to say we got new merch coming out on Tuesday. We got new merch coming out on Tuesday including a Clint the Plains Warking jambour sticker by design by Zachary Sterling. Oh no shit really. Yeah, it's incredible We got a mystery sale. There's limited qualities available, so act fast. And 10% of all merch proceeds this month.

You're looking at this, yeah. Yeah, 10% of all merch proceeds this month will go to Earth Justice, which uses the law to reserve a rich, sustainable, and diverse natural heritage for current and future generations. Also, we've got some more shows coming up on the 27th C Surf the Vibe Tour.

We're gonna be in Seattle on August 31st and September 1st. And we're gonna be at New York Comic Con on the 27th C surf the vibe tour. We're going to be in Seattle on August 31st and September 1st. And we're going to be at New York Comic Con on October 12th and the 13th. Also, we're going to be coming to Philadelphia. More information about that, but that will be part of the New York Comic Con tour. So keep an eye out for that information. New York Comic Con will require a badge to attend the show in person. There will be badge free tickets to watch the show video on demand online Also tickets for the New York Comic Con shows will go on sale Friday, August 4th at 11 a.m. Eastern time

Get all the information and ticket links at bit.ly slash McRoy tours Also, I'm gonna be at Jincon this week. I'm doing panels and signings and playing in some games, get all the details and stuff. Once again, at bit.ly slash McRoy tours. Oh yeah, big these goddamn skittles are. I think to maintain for these four theme song, my life is better with you.

It's a great track. I mean, it's the song of a hot boy, hot dog summer. So if you're not bumping in it, then you're making a huge mistake. And you need to reevaluate some shit. Okay. All right. Let's get this song back, crank him. Okay. Okay. Okay. Square on the lips. It's better, it's better with you.

you