My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 676: Face 2 Face: Teddy Laid it Down Sideways

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

LIVE from beautiful San Jose, a real Justin town, with questions about haunted wedding venues, accident cheese, and the looming threat that is robots giving us no more than the mandated number of chicken nuggets.Suggested talking points: The Holy Spirit Takes Orders from ME , Subliminal Jackson, Parkour Plateau, Pre-Show Big Burrito Bowl, Pennywise Ate All Our PostersHawai’i Community Foundation: https://www.hawaiicommunityfoundation.org/

The Macaroy brothers are not experts And thereby should never be followed Travis insists he's a sexperts But if there's a degree in his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I say only to remind those babies out there how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

What, dude? It's the side of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed. It's rapid into a precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach my life It feels like It's better. it's better with you. My life, it's better with you.

This is true, it's better, it's better with you. My life, it's better with you. Let's give it up one more time for Clint McElroy. Yeah. Not a bit. And Todd, he was able to make it out tonight. His incompetence isn't a bit since 2013, just an incompetent man doing his best in the world. But sometimes that should be rewarded.

We let him come on stage, we pay him to be here. You gotta start the show, Justin. Yeah, I am. Hello, everybody. Welcome to my brother, brother. I'm here to invite you for the Modren Era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin Tyler McElroy. This is a big, this is a big Justin town.

I don't know if you guys know the Santa, they're gonna say, and I know I say this in every city, but this is like a Justin town. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. That's a good energy to pass it off to us, yay. I'm your middleest brother, Travis Patrick McElroy. Can we, we should each claim a third of them.

Can we try, can we try a unique social experiment? Okay. And it's going to be a great deal. Can we, we should eat clay and firt of them. Can we try a unique social experiment? Okay. And it's gonna rely on everybody. I want it to be dead fucking silent here right after I say my name. I don't want anybody to make any sound.

I want that to be on the recording. Please don't think you'll be the funny one person screaming out, just, here here we go and I'm your sweet baby brother Griffin McElroy awesome cool let's go good for you all hey yeah we're sync that's good that was really cool I set that up and it's still scared the shit out of me. Now we're gonna edit it real good. We're gonna edit it real good.

Where you don't set it up. Yeah, it's just, speaking of our incredible fame, I had a realization, I did something I've always wanted to do and always dreamed of doing. I walked around a city I was in for no real reason at all. I was in place. You've never done that before. I want to be the sort of person that's like, I'm just going to go have a look around.

You know what I mean? You've never just had a look around before? I mean, on the way to the movies or the aquarium or whatever, I'm away to a place But I don't just like walk around town. You would not know that from the quality of the the street poetry that you Send to me and Travis on a daily basis. Yeah, but I this I just went to look around some beautiful place Yeah, that we're in and I realized when I got outside That they were advertising a concert at this exact venue for Ringo Star. Okay.

You guys have heard this guy. Um, he's one of the top four Beatles. Yeah, he's, uh, but it occurred to me. I was like, okay, Ringo Star is playing here. And that, and he, he is as much the Beatles as is anybody. Yeah. We can agree on this. Well, now we can agree on this.

No, yeah, sure. It's not even four-way split for all of the sort of artistry that's supposed to be. This is the art I was making to myself in the bathroom. Even if I feel a Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney share a stage, they're not closer to being the Beatles, right? It's not like more the Beatles. Now, hold on. What a wild fucking thing to say.

You're saying Ringo Starr, a load-on stage, is as much the Beatles. Now hold on, what a wild fucking thing to say. You're saying, Ringo Starr on load on stage is as much the Beatles out of Ringo Starr and Paul McGartney together on stage. Yes, this is what I'm saying. When you hear a echo back to you in my voice, it's better even because you've got an authority that I laugh. Yeah, sure. So I looked at that and I thought, okay, that's just, if that logic continued and the ghosts of the other two, you got it. Yeah, right, too. Go on, continue this lecture about the child. I'm live, gal.

Okay, so anyway, I noticed that Ringo Starsplane here, and he's the Beatles, so that means that we are by the transitive property as big as the Beatles. Now, that's pretty cool, but you know, what's cooler is that the Beatles according to one of them are bigger than Jesus. So now where that was. And that was, and before you finish this sentence, that was a really good sort of PR moment for them. I remember distinctly I was there. He said that we're bigger than Jesus and everyone went,

cool man. That's an awesome thing to say. We love this. Hey, call out some other worldly religions. Who else are you bigger than? Say something about the Pope. I forget what I was, I was, I was, no, how we're bigger than Jesus.

No, no, no, that's sad. It wasn't that. It definitely wasn't that that was going to. We're as big as Jesus. Let's head to our beds. I agree. That's fair. It's like't that that was going to. We're as big as Jesus. Let's head to our beds. I agree with that. That's fair. It's like Jesus and us.

Oh, no. I'm getting it. I'm getting it text from our manager. Oh, man. He says I got a stop talk. Oh, the Holy Spirit texted you? No. No, he takes orders from me.

Oh, I knew it. Is that how that breaks down? Yeah, that's the basic. Jesus always boss on the Holy Spirit around. Give me a coke. Oh, me. If you wanted the son of the boss. Yeah, so this is an advice show where and consider that in context of the past few minutes. I mean, consider the source, I guess would be my sort of... Yeah, for sure. ...tour there. Okay.

Whoa, be careful with the Latin. My housemate started making... Do you see when you rag on me, Santa says, like, I'm not so funny. Yeah. We're kind of a Justin town. Well, I actually Justin. Okay. I thought we were going to start with a segment. What? Well, I actually Justin. Okay. I

Thought we were gonna start with a segment. What okay fine. That just is once. Okay. Hey everybody I got a segment I like to call with special guests Here's how it breaks down what an indecisurable noise the hundreds of you just made I'm going to tell you which SNL host yes is Introwing which SNL musical guest yes, yes, you guys are gonna tell me what vibe they're bringing to the intro okay up first Jimmy Fallon and Madonna,

intro-ing Justin Timberlake. Okay, what? There's no way they're synced, right? The energy is different. Oh, that's cool. Oh, I thought you were talking about time. I think there's probably a full second that passes between when Jimmy Fallon stops saying the name Justin Timberlake and Madonna stops saying. Okay. Yeah, but like energy-wise, do you think there's a scent? Do you think she's like?

No, they're nowhere near the same level. Okay, yeah, that's, I mean, that's a good start. Who's more excited? Madonna, why are you interviewing me right now? You're also in the game. I know, but I'm curious what you think before I say what? Okay, well, I did, that was, you've gotten it all out of me now.

So go one cent above me there. I think they're, they're in perfect sync. And I think they are, they sing it. Okay, introducing Justin Timberlake, are they in sync? Play the video, Paul. Ladies and gentlemen, Justin Timberlake! That, they, they, wow, Paul. Ladies and gentlemen, just in general that they, they, wow, wow, they should have figured out what they were going to do.

This, the energy they're bringing is brother and sister doing a Christmas card, but they haven't discussed it beforehand. I think that's nowhere. No, they didn't discuss outfits. They didn't discuss anything. They haven't discussed it beforehand, and they haven't lived in the same house for no background. No, they didn't discuss outfits. They didn't discuss anything. I haven't discussed beforehand and they haven't lived in the same house for 15 years. Yeah, no. This is the first time seeing each other. Now, up next, Elliot Gould. Oh, no. Introducing Gary

Newman. Okay. Like a secret, Elliot says it. I think like he's introducing us to a dear friend. Gary Newman, like my, here's my bud, Gary. Okay, get ready to see one of the coolest fucking things you've ever seen. Play it, Paul. Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from England, Gary Newman. What? If you're listening to the audio later, Mr. Gold finishes the syllable men and at the exact same instant pops a cigarette into a smell. A half-smoke with an engine a half of ash above the end.

They just, like somebody pan past him in an alley waiting, he was like, what do you, yeah, it's Gary Newman. You know, yeah, he has been dragged in from the Smokers' dock somewhere like, Elliot, you're on, are you? Yeah, you got it, it's Gary Newman. Gary Newman, this way? All right, I'm out. I think I was closer, right? Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, okay. Okay, Emily Blunt, introducing Bruno Mars. Loud, I'm getting loud. I'm getting like yelling. Loud. I'm getting loud. I'm getting like yelling. Oh. Okay, this is gonna seem weird, but like humbled. Like she's like, like, she seems like, she's like honored, you know what I mean?

Like, Bruno Mars. Like, Bruno Mars. Hey Paul, play the clip. Ladies and gentlemen, Bruno Mars! Justin fucking nailed it. I mean, pretty close, right? It's a, it's a, can you fucking believe it? Me?

Bruno Mars. I played Mary Poppins. What a dork, am I? And I get to introduce Bruno Mars, Mr. Toy for Carrick Gold himself? Also important to note, they say who's on the show at the beginning of the show. So he didn't just show up and they were lucky to grab him. Yeah. I'm about to introduce him. Don't believe me.

I know. Listen, guys, you're not going to... Oh, Travis, you shit all over Justin's joke. Sorry. There wasn't even a joke. I was really relieved actually. I really just dodged a bullet because I didn't want to finish saying it. Oh, I'm my bad man. It's okay. Oh no, you gotta tell me next time.

I said go though. Sorry, tell me in a row. I wrote it, go ahead. I said that yes, I get to introduce rumors. Don't believe me. Just watch. And I. Exactly. No, I And I. Yes.

No, I feel bad. Stop. Wait a minute. All right, we got one last one. All right. Kristen Stewart. Yeah. Introducing Coldplay.

Wow. I'm getting loud. I'm getting uncharacteristically, just sort of hype from Kristen Stewart. I think, I think, solemn, like it's a telephone of some sort. Okay, but I'll play it. Ladies and gentlemen, Koekliq. Oh, it's so strong.

We're really both prepared here. Oh, this right here. I'm going to play it. I'm going to play it. I'm going'll play it Ladies and gentlemen This right here this right here Yeah, this is my co play. Yeah, this is the cold. I made it in third grade. It's just a co-play I mean yeah, you know, I don't want to be you don't have a co-play co-play. I'm doing my friend co-play favor It's stupid. I want to throw it away. You can have it if you want. I don't want one of these. You don't have a co-play? Co-play. I'm doing my friend co-play a favor. It's stupid.

I want to throw it away. You can have it if you want. I don't want it anymore. Co-play, it's whatever. I'm not even proud of it. But if you want to watch it, I suck shit at this game. If I had known the exact year what project Kristen Stewart was promoting, I feel like I should have

done better in my case. I actually, from the little bit I know about Kristen Stewart, I think this is how she does everything. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm on fire. How about a question, yes. Now, because now we can have the question, yes. My housemate, my housemate, started making homemade yogurt

to try and save money for the house. We share groceries, it's bad. And the texture sucks. How do I tell them I don't like their yogurt and I wanna go back to store bought? Now listen, here's what I wanna say. If they just started making homemade yogurt, of course I'm not good at it first. Yeah.

That was a fine. That wasn't good. I wouldn't even know where to start. Yeah. Milk, leave it out. Yeah. Wait. Careful. Careful. That's the best I got.

Careful. You get accident cheese. And yeah. That won't cut the mustard when it's yogurt time. Yeah, mustard is the made of milk. How much yogurt were you eating before? That when you looked at the grocery budget, you're like, you know, we need to cut back on.

The one area where we could really start to say, you know what? This is gonna change everything. If I buy the ingredients and materials needed to make yogurt at home, we're gonna be able to finally buy other yogurt. I don't know what the rest of that is. I know I can be a kind of a finicky fill about food sometimes,

but I do feel like yogurt is Kind of always right on the yucky line. Yeah, it's like right on the yucky line Where if it goes a little bit this way or a little bit that way it's it's yucky I don't know that that would be the food I jumped to is like I could do this at home What if you put it what if you put into mini probiotics? Yeah. And you're so, you're so normal. One thing that's good about dairy is that if you want,

if you just keep squishing it, it will become something else. Yeah. Yeah. After a while, you break dairy spirit. I, the, the, if you have, if you're put cream into your, your standard mixture, and then you whisk it for too long, it first it becomes thick, luscious whipped cream,

and then after that it becomes butter. And I just wanna say. What happens after that? A lot of night. Why don't we stop a butter? We have to keep going. Well, try. Anti-matter.

That's so loud, pal. Sorry. Okay. I was just gonna say that I think it's really good. It's lucky that we got butter. Yeah. Because me, once I got to whip cream, I'd stop every time. Yeah, for sure.

Like how do we whip butter? You're rookie. The first person that does it, you're hanging over the shoulder. You're going to ruin that fucking whipped cream. Stop, please. Wait, what do you do it? No. No.

We're so excited about whipped cream. Please, stop. No. Well, you do it? No. Oh, we're so excited about what cream police are now. Well, you ruined it. I'll spread this on toast just to make you look stupid. Oh, wait, but damn it's good. That's really, hey, here's a Nobel Prize. Hey, you think this would work with peanuts? Let's try it. I don't think I could do this because they are, it's alive, right? All the little biotics in there? You do are their critulist.

Right, it's like if I got a big tank of sea monkeys, and then I just drank that. Yeah. I don't like that. I guess the same thing with sourdough starter is everything just has alive in it Hey, Griffin. Yeah, I guarantee there's a large chunk of vegans in the audience right now We're like yeah, come on step through you're you're so close. You're so close King. Please No, not this time. Oh, I was close.

I was really thinking about it. Oh, man. Maybe next time, though. You could just not eat it. And then your roommate is going to realize, like, boy, I mean, a lot of yogurt. Yeah. I'm really having to put in the hours to get to the bottom of his

container before it goes sideways. Maybe you get a second job. I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, boy, I mean a lot of yogurt. I am really having to put in the hours to get to the bottom of this container before it goes sideways. Maybe you get a second job to buy your own yogurt. And yeah, but this one is just for me. How's yours? It's good.

How about another question? Yeah. My best friend is getting married. Big fans of questions, yeah. Yeah. My best friend is getting married soon. And of questions, yeah. Yeah. My best friend is getting married soon, and her venue is according to several people, Google Search is haunted.

Because the nature of the venue, the entire wedding party, myself included, we'll be staying here the night before the wedding. Can I ghost hunt at her wedding? If yes, how should I go about doing so? That's from made of horror in San Jose. When you do a Google search, do you think that there's a human being who works at Google

who's like, I need to make sure this thing's haunted before we say yes, because I would hate to spread misinformation. I think this is one of those, like, you got to joke about it till it's real, right? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean?

It's funny. It's so funny. You know what I mean? It's so funny. It's so funny. It's so funny. And if your friend is like, no, it's funny. You know, it'd be so funny. It's so funny. It'd be so random as if we were 100 for ghosts. And if your friend is like, no, it's my wedding. That's where you can break out. Yeah, but how far are the boundaries of your wedding extending on it?

Definitely when you're walking down the aisle. That's wedding. That's start of wedding. Is the night before? Is that wedding? I remember before my wedding being incredibly, incredibly paranoid that I was going to just step off a curb and break my leg and then not be able to do the wedding we had been planning for over a year.

The idea that I would court spectral danger with such proximity to the party you've been planning fucking forever. with such proximity to the party you've been planning, fucking forever, it should be, the thing should be the day before your wedding, you sit in a vault, a padded vault with guards outside just making sure that everything's fine. You walk out of that and you get married. Hey Griffin, what you just said

is maybe more revealing of your personality. I realized that as I was saying it it and I was like, this is too much for them. Griffin just got a heart rate. And I can't. It's watch. I can't believe you just fucking bioblasted me like that, dude.

You fucking bioblasts at me, bro. I've been biodox. Don't isolate that audio, please. I beg of you. I used to be the cool dad who did parkour and could climb up a building. Now that I'm older and my body is falling apart, I just can't perform. My rad moves anymore. Now read the next question.

That was real. That was uncalled for. This is the question. Justin Furnick that you used to be able to do parkour, which I think is a huge compliment. Justin is parkour prime right now. How do I'm as good as I've ever been at parkour? Yeah. How do I'm on my parkour plateau? How do I maintain my cool dad's status? That's from Stiff and Soar in Scotts Valley. Are you here? All right. All right.

That was a real cool parkour dad way to respond. Hey, come down from there. Oh shit. Oh shit. Listen to her later, this guy is out of control. He's climbing up in the... he just fucking double jumped off the air Incredible oh wait hold on there is one follow a question I need to know how old are your kids? Okay, there's nothing you can do that will be cool enough now yeah 12 and 17 even if your body was in its prime

Yeah, you still couldn't barcour hard enough for your 17 year old to be like, so rules, still good. I think the first time my kids buy ice cream with money they made, I'm hanging up my spurs. I think that's it for me. I don't think I have any more sway around these parts. I'm gonna head on out into that sunset.

And you can't, oh, have to look out for yourselves for now on, because you got my, you figured out my big trick. Yep. My big trick, how to get ice cream and how to buy it. Man, it's sad being a parent. I can't be. I'm, yeah. I think you got one more in you. Ooh.

I think you got one more in you. You might not make it back for this one. Justin's right. But hey, your kids will remember you. Like you want them to dying doing parkour. Yeah. And everyone sort of just around on the street, sort when it goes down that's gonna be a memorable day Yeah, you remember that one Jessica and Levin movie where parkour is between the twin towers

Yeah, yeah, one parkour left it was walking on that big wire and he fell off spoiler But he didn't but well always remember him as a cool parkour dad. Yeah, they're dying at cool parkour daddy. You live long enough to, for your kids to call you the dumbest person they ever knew, and that it's our lives. So there's the two different ways I could go. Our dad went slices but cheek open on a mesh screen window. There's worse, I'm just saying there's worse ways

to hurt yourself. My dad once got sent to the hospital because he got hit by a truck's side mirror while he was carrying the biggest tray of cold cuts I've ever seen in my whole life. If you haven't imagined it yet, the way to you get home because nothing is going to top that that we say. And he wasn't jumping off walls or nothing. No. He was just walking.

God, I wish I could do parkour. Yeah. Another question? How do you start doing parkour just running to things? Just don't fall for long enough. Yeah, I do another question. Hey, how do I get someone to play foosball with me? It worked.

I worked at an office where they just added a new foosball table to the common area. I've been there, it's been there for several weeks. I've never seen anyone use it. I love foosball. I really want to play, but no one else seems interested. I tried to casually hint at it several meetings with no avail.

Brothers, I love that you're using meeting time for this, by the way. I have one more point I'd like to touch on. Is it Fuzba Relay? We don't see anything opposite of the size of tables enough. So basically, how can this person get some? Get some Fuzba Relay. Are you here?

All right. I think this is difficult because without walking around the room and saying like, do you want to play food? You can't just walk. You know you wouldn't do that or anything like that. You can't just walk up to the food's well table solo and so I'm spending, I can't think of actually a sadder business image than just a present getting over the desk.

Stretching. Unless. Unless. Unless? You play both sides of the table like you're some sort of chest genius. Yeah. Oh, like Forest Gumpton. Who's Tommy? Yeah, but let's reference more movies

where people get super game powers. The wizard. Yeah, I do. All right, so anyway, play both sides of the table. Okay, that could work. I feel good about that answer. I think you need to spice it up. Fuzball seems a little outdated to me. Yes. We are like we do with the XFL. Oh, yeah. We all remember. We all remember what we did with the XFL. Well, they they talked about was boring and they added like whipped cream cannons and lasers and stuff like a lot of what stuff

And I think that you could do that with foosball like the time to update it with okay, let me hit you all with this Thank you for taking the time by the way I really appreciate you Sharks we have a pitch for you. This is my pitch. It's foosball But across the table there are cups of stuff. you really, really, really don't want to knock over. Right, so you're kicking, but you're also trying to avoid... Like acid. Well, I was saying like chocolate syrup, but yeah, sure.

You can melt the table with that. Ashes of what? Like a... Like an urn of ashes. Yeah, like a loved one's ashes on the voos well. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm trying to play foos, we should start a league.

All right, I'm dropping the ball. What's that big urn? That's my Nana. My Nana. But listen, baby, play it where it lies. Well, what's that cup? That's last year's profits. Don't spill that away.

Don't screw it. I should warn you, my man is negative eight points. Say you're not going to want to give her a wide berth. Let's start Gustand Omi podcast. See, that's for the, that's fish for, are you liking my podcast? I didn't know that. You're asking me if I like your podcast? Which one, wonderful.

No, it's a new one I do and it's a Spanish language podcast. I do and that's, this is all I know so far. Okay, so it's a short podcast. So it's so far for you, Spanish language podcast. What you've learned is how to say, how do you like my podcast? Or are you liking my podcast? So there's like a 10 second greeting.

This 17 minutes of mattresses. So, this summer, you could start speaking a new language with Babel, like I just did just now. If I can do it, anyone can. That's true. That's true. That's true. Quick 10 minute lessons are designed by over 150 language experts

to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. Or in my case, like a minute. I have used Babel to brush up on my Spanish quite a few times. They make it really fun and easy. They're these little digestible games. They're perfect for, well, you shouldn't say

the toilet in a commercial belt. They're perfect for the toilet. Or do you say the toilet in a commercial belt. They're perfect for the toilet. Are you mean the Bono? Ah, see, see the El Bono. See, yeah, it Travis has been learning language on the toilet. Now you can too, with his exclusive offer, Griffin, hit me. See. That was the app. It's just that easy. Tell me the offer. It's a special limited time deal for our listeners to get you started right now. If you find out that someone who doesn't listen to the show, use this, you report them. Do you hear me?

Get through the ad. Right. It's a special limited time deal for our listeners to get you started right now. Get 55% off your Babble subscription, but only for our listeners. At Babble.com slash my brother. Again, get up to 55% off at babble.com slash my brother spelled b a b b e l dot com slash my brother rules and restrictions may apply and as they would say in Spanish or of while. Hey, we have some live shows coming up. If you're enjoying this,

then you'll you can catch it yourself. If you live in Philadelphia, where we're going to be performing my brother, my brother, me on October 11th. We're going to do this same show over again. Word for word. Word for word. It's going to be he-sterical. Then we're going to be in New York City on October 12th and 13th during New York Comic Con doing a bit of Mammothats.

If you go to McRoy.family you can find links and tickets and all that jazz. We got some new merch over at McRoyMurts.com for the month of September. And you're going to find something on there that's going to really suit your fashion and sensibilities. So again, McRoyMurts.com, check that out totally. And a big thank you to Montagne for the use of our theme song. My life we probably said that in the episode. Probably did that in the episode. Yes.

But you know what, it bears repeating. It's a good song. It's a great track. Great. Two years now, we just passed it two years I-I-sol in Montaigne's TikTok. Happy anniversary, and enjoy the rest of the episode. Somewhere in an alternate universe where Hollywood is smarter. And the Emmy nominees for Outstanding Comedy Series are Jet Packula, Airport Marriott, Rupple, Dear America, We've Seen You Naked, and Aula in the Family.

In our stupid universe, you can't see any of these shows, but you can listen to them on Dead Pilots Society. The podcast that brings you hilarious comedy pilots that the networks and streamers bought, but never made, journey to the alternate television universe of Dead Pilots Society on MaximumThund.org. I'm Jesse Thornt. Bullseye is celebrating 50 years of hip hop by bringing you an entire month of brand new interviews with rappers. That means jeez-y.

I put my pain in the music. Energy stone. You know, we get hops. We call them hops, right then. Master P. Music is what's gonna open the doors for us, but whenever we come up with after this, it's gonna be bigger. Plus, Chica, Sabah, even the greatest of them all, Ruckian.

That's this September. Open up that podcast app. Type in Bullseye and hit subscribe. You're not gonna want to miss any of this. Listen, let's be, let's put the tiger on the table and yell at it for a second. There's no good way to come back from a podcast to intermission where it's not like we did that so we could be because we can't go an hour and a half without doing that. Hey, I also ate a donut. Yeah. So when we come back on stage, like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, industry phone call. No. We just peed. We peed.

That's it. And it's just that long to take turns. Did you, any y'all pee? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, everybody. Yo, this was a staying operation. We never beat in our lives, you pervs. Everybody peeing in buildings. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la What? Yeah, and it's profiling the latest in Grayson and Brandeining. And y'all, this is really latest and greatest because, A is a big y'all. I'm so sorry. Okay, bud, I'm sorry I'll try to be funny or I guess. Can we just, this isn't for show, but next time I say,

I'm just gonna have a pre-show big burrito bowl. Between that and the red wine, I've been drinking. I look like, and feel like Orson Wells a little bit. Okay. So this is gonna wake you right up. Alright, baby. The AI, robots, and the inventive future of white castle. Huh! Hey Justin, are you gonna give me 20 guesses?

What the last two words of that sentence are gonna be? I don't. Wouldn't have gotten that. Paul, let's see our first image. That's a robot, it looks like a person. That's amazing. That's an actual person. White castle's been around 102 years,

give or take a month or two. A journey that began. Does it say that? Yeah. You should know press release. They started dishing square hamburgers for five cents a piece. Still family owned. The brand's guideposts remains nostalgic,

create memorable moments. Yeah, they went along. Go look at this picture. The more the eye seemed to say, please move to the next picture. There is no next picture. Oh no! I'm so sorry, person of the picture.

The Venomal Band has been exploring two initiative better suited for the Jetsons. Pfft! Pfft! Yeah. Then a tale on fast food's original player. One was, what's become a highly publicized partnership with Miso Robotics, and it's Flippy, now Flippy 2,

robot, which essentially takes over the fire station. The other was a deal with Mastercard on Drive Through AI, dubbed Julia. Can I just say, it's really big of them to still work with Fliby after they revealed that he's shit on his friend that one time? No, that's blippy. Blippy, right, blippy, sorry. Okay, my timeline is vital. The timeline is vital. This is the sentence from the fresh

release about White Castle. This timeline is vital to understand Michael Geinen, White Castle's VP of Operation Services shared at restaurants paces. If you don't understand it, you give fire from your job as a White Castle executive. Listen to this guys, this is from White Castle. If you are not already in robotics and you do agree that it's coming, I suggest you do it sooner than later. Says the VP of operations at White Castle. Holy shit.

This dude read like a consumer weekly magazine article. I was like, I'm fucking so scared right now. The only weapon I can wield in the cyber war is that I am an executive at White Castle. I'm a jobs creator for robots. In the three years, there's a Fibonacci sequence in our window. In the three years since the collaboration, Flippy has entered ten White Castle locations. He won't leave.

Flippy has entered ten White castle locations with plans to reach 100. Who's plans? Wait, and then presumably, my own stop. And then presumably, like, my hands are on Will grow. Plants to stop there forever, right? They get to 100 and it's like, well, let's never do this. Yeah. This is gone far enough.

To be fair, Justin, hard press. I think there's more than 100 white castle. I bet there's probably a million of them. Yeah. I think there's more than 100 white castle. I bet there's probably a million of them. Yeah, I think there's probably about a million. The Julia AI is about to go to its third white castle. So there's seven robots that aren't answering to fucking anybody.

Do the math. There's 10 flippies. Three Julius. Seven flippies are just going for every single day. I miss this. What's Julia do? Julia is an AI that they develop with MasterCard that helps with the point of sale. Oh cool yeah. So they, no.

Flippie, yeah. Flip stuff and works the friar. Yeah. Julia, yeah. They didn't name it payee party. They shitting a name in theharma and Greg with these two, because they are total opposites, and yet somehow they can't, they love each other.

That's why, because it's like, oh, we're gonna bring Julia here, and seven flippies are like, no, no. I can't work with her after the doubles. He's a straight, he's a straight-laced robot. She's in corporeal. I want that. The broader point, guys, look at this fucking white guy. He's a straight-laced robot. She's in corporeal. The broader point, guys, look at this fucking white castle.

It looks cool. Look at how HR guy here made a white castle. Well, I just assumed lightning struck the front of it. Yeah, and it burned to ash. Listen, the AI Julia is about to go to its third white castle, but this is a direct fucking code. Should be able to scale quickly on a regional level. Oh, good.

Excellent. Shed the one thing that's not a problem, is this thing's just gonna go nuts. Absolutely. This thing's gonna go wild, and it will not know where to stop. OK, wait, actually, you know what, Paul, let's go ahead. I was hoping you'd be cute.

Let's roll the beautiful flippy footage if you can be so holy shit Look at that No All you will lose your jobs. It's okay. Don't freak out. We'll figure out other stuff to do Surely there's something they can't do. Oh shit. The robot does everything. Oh no I got my degree in English land. My acting gigs are gonna come through. I can also do surgery. I'm just working this job to buy cyber drugs. Listen, it doesn't take a lot for me to be scared of some sort of global phenomenon.

But I will say they can't keep like a fucking McFlurry machine up and running for longer than four and a half hours at any McDonald's. There's no way, if I throw one grain of sand at flippy, he's dead. He's fucking dead. Nobody there is like, hmm, well, let me get out. Looks like this casket's bloat. There's no fucking way. It is fun that it's like, well, they took away the jobs,

but then they hired like that many plus three people to maintain it. Yeah. Yeah. How are you guys at cleaning out servos? Yeah, good, I guess. Yeah, sure. I feel like I'm flashing four to 50 years in the future

where the robot breaks down and the lady says the guy, okay, you know, you cook the burgers. He's like, what are you talking about? That's flippy job. Good joke, good joke, AMP. In the future, none of us cook AMP burgers. We live that to robot business. In fact, in 50 years, you know, the things they're called amp. No, that's just the name of that one in the post

apocalypse. So it's okay. Okay, it's where's that? They have that name though, right? That's what I choose. What a fucking wild name to pull, man. I'm good. I can do a name now. We have three more. Um, Destro. Oh shit. Uh, Thimble. Oh, fuck. And crosswind. Fuck yeah. Fuck, yeah! Yeah, man. Crosswind is my new best friend! So, uh, this is what it says next to the article. You have to start by asking why.

Yeah, yeah. Good. It's too late for that. The notion for our white castle is that AI and robotics aren't there to replace hospitality. In fact, their tools designed to amplify guest satisfaction. Yeah, yeah. For a new age.

Say the Robo Satisfaction Draw 9000. Right. This press release was written by humans, we swear. Carol Bozer, White Castle CIO, is firmly in the camp of those who believe that AI will quote, change everything. As soon as a few months ago, she wasn't. But then she asked 150 plus person crowd of operators and vendors if they've used GPT.

And more than half of them raised their hand. And this is, now this she was like, all right, make some fries. All right, I'm scared of that now. Let's throw everything we've got at it. This is what Carol Bozer, an executive at White Castle, says, all of you are beginning to realize it's coming. Jesus, right, it has been for 15 or 20 years. This is not your grandpa's robots

that you used to see in the 70s that were manufacturing our cars. These are robots that are able to make decisions, to learn from things, protect humans, and stay out of their way. Anyway, I'm an executive at White Castle hamburgers. And I'm terrified. I'm so scared. I'm a executive at White Castle Hamburgers. And I'm terrified. I'm so scared.

I'm so scared. What I'm saying is fucking get on board with these robots. Because they're out of order, get out of the way. They wrote this press release for the robots to be like, we get it now. We're the burger meat now. I know I talked shit, but I talked to 150 scientists who are scared shitless of you guys

Gynon says white castle was drawn to this technology for reasons touted by industry peers quote Let's call it what it is. We are struggling to get enough labor on the floor. Oh, so it's our fucking fault Julia is not taking a job away from any I mean you could pay Wait, so these It's not taking a job away from any I mean you could pay people wait So these I mean you just you just pay people No, I'd rather spend seven trillion dollars Justin educated driven young people Why don't they accept these boss jobs at white castes? Yeah, how these great job anyway That it says that it's not about that. It's just about me. It's not taking a job away from anyone It's about giving jobs to robots

but taking a job away from anyone. It's without giving jobs to robots. To robots. To robots. Hey, y'all, he says that, right? Because if the job, robots are unemployed, pretty soon they'll just turn to killin' us. We says that. And then there's another paragraph after it.

Recently, at one of the locations with Drive Through Voice AI, a crew manager told Guiden, Julia just went on the night shift, then added, oh my god, she just kept taking orders. So they've got one where it's like, listen, it cool. And then the next one's like, hey, the fucking robot won't stop it. We can't stop it.

We don't add a stop it. It just keeps taking orders and we can't stop it, we don't add a stop it. It just keeps taking orders and we can't stop the robot. Is that in its programming? Because we're at a chicken and it's looking at us. Yeah, it was, it was while Julia locked the doors and turned the heat up to 500 degrees. She said we're being broasted.

Is that something? Once and Flipie kept hiving us. Okay, the problem would flipy one, and I'm sure you're all wondering. Yeah. This is problematic political opinion. So probably Flippy one is, it helped employees stay in designated locations. What? Yeah, workers.

Don't move. But the workers noted a need for human assistance on both sides of the robot. From the initial point of contact with uncooked products to when the cook food gets placed in the holding area. So the robot's great. You just have to gingerly hand it the chicken and then take the chicken away from it. But with flat hand like you're feeding a carrot to a horse. Don't move fast please. Where's the special green glove so he can differentiate?

No, no, no, no, it's, it's really a matter of time. We're having a lot of fun here. It's fucking terrifying. Somebody built Flippy and they were like, hey, how much crushing power should we give the claw? And then somebody was like, ooh, that's a good question. Well, how heavy is a basket of chicken wings? Like, oh, I don't know, maybe like 20 pounds. All right, give it 3,000 pounds of crushing strength just to be on the safe side.

In case like Rob needs to chicken falls under a Honda. Wait, wait, hold on, one second. Okay, I put it in a line of code. It's like, don't use that on people. Should be good, should be good. Let's roll. Um, Carol Moser points to the manufacturing industry as a harbinger of what's to come for restaurants.

A harbinger? A harbinger. It says harbinger in the press release? White castle's fire had become its bottleneck. Quote, you almost had to be an octopus to run the fire. Or I mean, you could just get two people. I mean, another thing. You know, okay, this is good.

She also loves the idea of solving what's been a fast food coral for as long as the category has existed. Quote, our team members do not like doing portion control. She says to the laugh, you know they don't like using their scoops of the world. So basically the employees are this is the real thing that she's saying is the humans give us too much food. And the robots will be much more strict about how much food we're allotted. Jesus Christ. No big deal. She go good. She goes white. You know deal. No big deal. She got good.

She got good. You know what, why, Kessel? I'm watching. History's watching. History's watching. It's not where I thought it would start. No, not at all. But it never is, huh?

Oh, dear. OK, anyway. Yeah, that's the deal. So Robust is doing cooking now. Cool We have some questions from the audience that we have gone through we're going to We're gonna call some folks down by name and seat number please approach the mic if we call you down over here And I can't believe I have to say this if we don't call you please don't If we don't call you, please don't approach my phone. You wouldn't think it's happening in Austin.

At one point, there were five people lined up, and there were only two questions left. It was very scary for us. Hi. I actually did two questions. Yeah, your shirt gives me an indication of what we called you out for. Yeah, OK.

I think it is that one. So when I was about 11 or 12 years old, I wrote a wiki how article called How to Throw a Lame Is Birthday Party? I'm going to be straight with you. When I saw this question in our inbox backstage, like 15 minutes ago, I was excited. And then I realized this was going to be our first basically live interview because I want to know fucking everything But my question for you was I'm turning 21 this year. Do you have any do you have any advice for updating my lame as birthday party? No, exactly the same perfect now Hannah How did you have 11 year old hey? Yes? How did you have 11 year old? Hey. Yes.

Brew am I? Is that anything of 21? For beers? For beers that you have, like, no. I don't think so. No. You just do a drink with me. Anyways.

Drink with me is actually just what that's about. Ah. Yeah, damn it. You got to give it, give it up to the masters. And your Lord Weber and his friends. I don't actually know who wrote that one, I'm sorry. It's just anyone allowed the post on Wiggy Howe? I guess, I made an account and it doesn't show my username on there, but my username was Gavrash Tarnardier.

Yes, fuck, yes, that was, yes. Did you do the pictures or do they have no guy that does all those? I don't know who did the pictures. So anyone's allowed to post. I mean, like, one guy's like, how the fuck do I draw this? That explains so many reverbs. I know. I need to know if you ever actually did this. No, unfortunately.

Why not? Then wait a minute. Then wait a minute. No. I'm about to turn on you. Oh did this. No, unfortunately. Why not? Then wait a minute. Then wait a minute. No. I'm about to turn on you. Oh, no. What? What possessed you to say, I'm fucking qualified to write the book I'm throwing a layman's birthday party

to create the genre? It was because I really wanted one, and I couldn't find any instructions online. So that's the best thing I've ever heard! Hannah! Woo! So... Woo!

Woo! Woo! So... Woo! Woo! Hannah, I have another question. I have nothing to do with that. Okay.

You were 11? 11? What was your version of Les Mizz that you were like, this is a... This is unpopular. I first encountered it through the movie. That's great. Yeah, that's good. So I was really into the movie.

No one would have put up. I had it. I don't think that. Oh, the crowd has turned on Justin. Oh no, not Justin City. It's wild that you haven't thrown a lay miss birthday party. It even wrote the book on it. It's even wilder that you have cooked to us today saying,

I need a great birthday party idea for my 21st birthday. I really, really want you to do this. It's really important to me. Okay. So you do this. Really. Listen, the world has been through a lot in the last three years. Yeah.

Nice. Nice. Can I say for the record, I did not update it on May 6th 2021 I don't know who did that. It wasn't me. It was it was it was me hand. There were a few There are a few grammatical errors, which is you were 11. That's like totally to be well Well, I would like I'll film a video intro of the three of us like welcoming people to the party I will do whatever to make this party happen. So please do have a layman's birthday party.

Does that, does that help? That helps so much, thank you. Please, and gentlemen. Hello, hello, welcome. Hi, my name is Teddy. I use any pronouns I don't care. Teddy, I love your shirt. Thank you. It's all fantastic.

I would wear that out of the carpet. Also, I would come to the Les Mis party. I'm like, anybody here would be the event of this entry. I'm like, big in the theater, which should be obvious, because I listen to the show. Yeah, I mean, everybody here here and again. Yeah, wait. We're kind of jocks.

What are you talking about? But I was the person who sent in a thing about a kind of sticky situation I had to try to get. We don't usually go for sort of more story-based confessional questions like this, but this one really tickles. Yeah, lay it out. Lay it out, take.

OK, OK, OK. So most people, when they come really tickles. Yeah, lay it out. Lay it out, take. Okay, okay, okay. So, okay. Most people, when they come up to the cash register, actually very nice. Like, I feel like that's... No, you don't have to say for the whole... This is target. I don't know.

I'm only because I have noticed a large amount of the people who work at Target know who we are. I don't know what the draw is, but it's like compared to Earth, right? Like compared to Earth. I'm saying that 60% of Target workers know who I am. No, like 60% of Target. I'm talking to everywhere else.

Teddy, can you confirm this? Yeah, the gay is love Target. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So basically, most people are actually very nice. I feel like there's this misconception that you get awful customers every single day. I was actually doing fine. Most people are fine. This dude came up and he was super, super insistent that I pack everything in one bag. So I see his stuff. Is it a vaguely junior? I'm like, do everything in one bag. So I see a stuff and I'm like, is it a vaguely junior?

I'm like, do you want one bag or two? And he's like, no, no, no, just one. I don't want to, like, he says it like five times while I'm bringing him up. And I'm like, okay. Do you all have a back band here in California where you have to like pay for bags like the grocery store?

Okay, cool. I assumed as much. I scanned all of this stuff and I put all the clothes in the bag. It's all clothes. And one bottle of maple syrup. Uh-huh. Right.

So I touched the maple syrup, and it's like a little bit sticky. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, it's maple syrup. So yeah. You mean the bottle of maple? You touched the maple syrup. The bottle's not supposed to be sticky.

You weren't sampling the maple syrup to make sure it was sticky syrup, is yeah. You mean the bottle of maple, you touch the middle. The bottle's not supposed to be sticky. You weren't sampling the maple syrup to make sure it was sticky enough for the customer to play with him. So I pick up the bottle, it's a little bit sticky. I'm like, okay, this is probably broken. This is probably like, you know, usually I would get them another one, but he's like a bad person. He's rushing me and he had said like a bunch of like,

he's just being a dick. And so I take the maple syrup and I do put it in the same bag as the color. That's the same. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on, Teddy. And I very specifically put it sideways.

Oh, Teddy. Oh, Teddy. Now hold on, hold on. You would have plausible deniability, Teddy, until this exact moment No listen listen listen Teddy. Yeah, how have you considered? Let's look at the facts. I feel like I'm talking about this person bought a bunch of clothes and One bottle of maple syrup. They were insistent that you put it all in the same bag. Oh

Maybe was a little bit open. This person is kind of a sticky boy. Got him a sticky Ricky. I think maybe we got a sticky Ricky. He knew exactly what was happening. This is their whole deal. Yeah. They like to try on shirts and be like, oh, clingy. Yeah. There's this person is immediately went into the parking lot walk through looking at their clothes like, oh, these are so sticky. Oh, yeah, Teddy laid it down sideways. This is getting new. This is gonna be such a mess for me.

Teddy knew what was up. Yeah. Oh, can't wait to put on these sticky pants. Teddy, I know that this show is not like a confessional, but I felt so horrible about this all day. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're a facility, you're a wonderful experience for us.

For this proverb. No, I think for this sticky, sticky proverb. Teddy, it's a good reminder that you should try to wash your clothes from any store before you wear them because you're nice. I might as well ask your thing. This, okay, this. We have introduced the phrase, Teddy laid it down sideways as like a strong message of like, oh damn, Teddy laid it down sideways on this one.

It's so powerful. How is the concert? Oh damn, Teddy laid it down, fuck you. Hardwares! How is the concert? Oh damn Teddy laid it down fucking hard ways Does that help? Yes, and absolutely thank you Teddy All right all right Teddy laid down sideways. Yeah, hi my name is Matt. Hi Matt. I'm at so I'm here with my my wife and Three kids throw away Hi, my name is Matt. Hi, Matt. I'm Matt. So I'm here with my wife and three kids.

They're about to come home. Whoa! Hey, all. And, you know, like you all, I try to like, meet my family at their level. Like, I'm not as cool as them. I don't know all the lingo. My wife said I can't wear dark shoes anymore.

So she maybe get these white sneakers. Oh, that's fun. Hey, choose what shoe. Oh, you're probably wearing nice shoes now. Yeah, how are my shoes? OK. Just when I wear the same shoes, it's fucking humiliating. It's humiliating to not be the one wearing the same shoes

that go on. I get it. Yeah. Well, you don't buy a sunpicked out these pants. I'm sorry, man. You're sunpicked out those pants? Yeah, it's some of the arms. Yeah, nice.

Nice. And with drifting. Because like, you know, that's what the kids do these days. They go thrifting. Yeah. They go pants. Yeah. But they started using this word, and they won't tell me what it means.

OK, this is what's going to help me. The word is Riz. Yeah. OK. Now, hold on, hold on, hold on. Now, this next part isn't a joke. I can tell you that we weren't initially gonna do this one, but then I wanted to know what that meant also.

And... And this is also not a joke. As Trina just said, I don't know what it means. I said, okay, great. I also don't know what it means. And I said, at some point, someone said something I didn't understand and I entered four fucking letters into Google and became the enlightened one of, that's too easy.

Way too easy, little no, listen. If you got it, if you have to search for it, your kids will know. No, they fucking won't, they definitely won't. You just got to set aside a little bit of time every day to Google words You don't understand that young people say. That's the way you say real good. Then I can't use it wrong. And that's for us then because I say it in front of their friends.

Don't you but oh man, they mad. Okay, mad. Oh shit, mad. Mad. Mad. Do you realize who you're fucking talking to right now, mad? You're talking to three dads slash sons. Oh, but dad, who came out here,

in a famous store. A famous store. A famous store. Matt, considering my lifestyle, I never would have spent this, but I believe I've been triggered. I believe that this is what it feels like. It's so specific.

I never thought I would have wandered into it. So, Matt, your question has changed from, I don't know what this word means to. Yeah, I don't know it's so specific. I never thought I would have wandered into it. So Matt, your question has changed from, I don't know what this word means to. Yeah, I don't know what this word means. And I don't like that second version of Smok. No, no. Now, everyone, what does it mean? Corisma.

Corisma. And I bet you thought it was dirty, didn't you? I did, well, they'll be relieved. They fooled me. Yeah, sure. So Matt, it was dirty, Matt. I guess the takeaway here is whenever that happens, just let us know we'll be relieved. They fooled me. Yeah, sure. So Matt, it was dirty, Matt. I guess the takeaway here is whenever that happens Just let us know we'll come here and shame you will do a show

Give you a little bit of a bit of a risk and then And then you'll find out whatever the word means is that does that help? Thank you, Matt. Thank you Does that help? Perfect. Thank you, Mark. Thank you, Mark. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Hello. Hello. Hello. It's a fucking great shirt. Thank you. I have one myself, but I haven't worn it in public yet.

I had a feeling. Yeah. My name is Hezl Sheeher. Hi, Hezl. Hi, Hezl. So my brother's birthday is tomorrow, and it's a tour de France wine tasting themed birthday party. Sure.

And then... Can I just say, a wildly like, non-specific, specific theme. Okay. Yeah. And I'm making cream puffs for the party. Sure. And he's...

As his customary. As his customary. And he recently found out that he's going to be a dad. It's not a gender reveal thing. Oh, thank God. If I have to go to one more gender reveal theme toward the France theme party. Played out.

All right, we get it. Also, costumes are mandatory. I don't know if I can put it in. Costumes? Do you mean just bike wear or france wear? France or bikes? Anyway. You're dodging the question a little, but I am so friends who are

pretty hardcore into bikes. And all I know is that the clothes they buy is supposed to make them sleek and smooth like an alien. Like like some, like HR giga design their human form, so they can go like one second faster and everything costs a million dollars. And also, aside from the one bike seat thing, they're not comfortable sitting in chairs. No, never ever.

But they do get padded butts, which I always appreciate. Okay, okay, Hazel. What is your problem? So I wanted to know, what is this something that I could do to surprise with the cream puffs? Like, well. Yeah. No, hold on.

Let's tear this down, because there's a lot of stuff you can put in a cream puff, though it will be as a product. Sure. No two things, as a please. This is good. Anything that isn't cream would be... Yeah.

And literally any other solid liquid gas plasma, any other thing. Anything crunchy would be a surprise. Now, if you want a surprise specifically about like, hey, it's your birthday and your dad. Not crunchy. Let's start there. You can make the argument that every dinner roll

is a very surprising cream puff. Yeah. You know? The very surprising cream puff. Yeah. You know? The very disappointed cream puff I would say, maybe. Not every surprise is good, Greg. Yeah, if you bite into a cream puff, it's just air. Yeah, that's right. I love the King Baby in the King Baby Cake.

And I do wish that that was present. That sort of gamification of cake was present in other pastries. And so maybe one of them has like a little toy in it. That's a great idea. That's the first and the next person who gets pregnant. That's the tradition that we have. Yeah. Now there's a baby in your cream board. Oh God.

Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Some day, a scientist will break down the sound wave of the thing I just said and point to.

And that's where he realized. I mean, more, you could, the other mind was no cream. But I guess the other option is more cream than you would expect to be in there. Like, it looks thicker than it actually is, and when you bite into it's like, God damn, that is almost cream. I just want to say it's already.

You're talking about a hair's bread thin membrane of a balloon of pop. Yeah, yeah. A hair spread thin membrane of the cup. Like a balloon of pop. Yeah, yeah. Like a chop. You pick it up and you're like, this feels denser than you. Yes. Like a, like a, a toddler's bubble.

Yes. Over the horizon. It pops, all cream, all cream. Loads of cream. Different kinds of cream as they work their way through. That could be cool, actually. Hey, different amounts of crepes they worked their way through. That could be cool actually. Hey, different amounts of mint, everyone. I like that.

And some of them are like inedible. You'll hear people fighting like, it wasn't too minty for me. It was actually, it's very natural. Oh, I thought it was too much. I'm puking. This is disgusting. I hate this. Are those some good crepes of rice? Is this hazel? I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you, I'm so of stressful to see. So many. Thank you so much for having us in beautiful San Jose again. Thank you

to the San Jose Civic for having us. It is a gorgeous theater. We are so kind. And nice. It's a beautiful place. Let's hear it for our dad. Yeah, Climac Roy. Yeah, Clamac Roy. Sorry, you didn't let me finish. Let's hear for our dad, Paul Saborin. Yeah, Paul. No, Paul Saborin is our tour manager. We wouldn't be able to do this a lot of him. Let's hear for Amanda, our regular manager. Let's hear for our sound person, Rachel. Sound person.

Sound person. Hi, Rachel's back. There, Rachel has to listen to a scream in the microphone. Sure. Sure not. I'm thinking to maintain for these for a theme song, my life is better with you. Also I want to say, the poster was designed by Evan Palmer. It's my, it's so fucking good.

I delight in this poster. Yeah, we love it very, very much. You should get it, because you can't get it after. Come on, just get it away. We'll throw them away, fuck you. Yeah, fuck you. I'd rather watch them sink down a drain and watch Pennywise eat them. Yeah, be good.

Give away to you people. That motherfucker loves eating posters. He's, Pennywise ate all our posters before. There it is. Look at that. That motherfucker loves eating bones. Eat pennywise ain't all our posters before. There it is. Look at that. That's gorgeous. I'm with the posters. I actually have bite marks out of them where we had to pull them out of his mouth.

He loves it. Okay. Travis, I have to notice you're not looking at your phone to read a Jack Johnson quote. Yeah, you do keep forgetting about that. You do do the end of the show now. It used to be he jogging. Think other people. Thank your wives.

Thanks Rachel, you did a, you're crushing it at home. I wish I was there and miss you guys so bad. I thank you to Sydney for making it possible for me. Thank you, my wife. Thank you Teresa. You're sad of like you said Teresa, try to get it. Thank you Teresa,'re sad of like you said Teresa. Try to get you Teresa. You crushing it. I'm I Mean I watched I watched Portrait of a lady on the plane in this anybody want to talk about

Four Ladoos definitely do juice. I mean I knew that that wasn't great. Oh man We had some of the orange sauce that you all are so wild about. Yeah. Yeah. It was good. We really liked it. It's not- I don't know.

It's definitely not going to fuck me up tonight. I got one right here. Do it. You're supposed to throw this frozen on the airline advertisement. Hey, you know what I really love? Yeah. Is this- hold on, wait, is this the part of the quote?

Yeah, it's a line of evidence. Your screen is not responding to what I really love. You know what I really love? Yeah. Peanut, it's a man. For fuck, it tripped me out. It's like surfing with your tongue. But it's peanuts.

Jack Johnson. I don't think. Why do you just say, I'm crying. I'm trying to say, This phone is dead. I'm Griffin McElroy. This is my brother. He gets your dad square on the lips. It's better, it's better with you It's better with my life It's better, it's better with you This is true, it's better

It's better with you My life It's better with you Maximum Fine It's better with you.