My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 688: Face 2 Face: You Can’t Boo Through the Whole Thing

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

This was during a very important sport game, so thank you Philadelphia for coming to the beautiful Miller Theater instead. We know how much Philly loves their sports, but we also learned they have a lot of feelings about other things, like large bees, studying, Step Mania, and Dolph Lundgren. Suggested talking points: Dog Bees Got Wolfman Magic, Loudest Baddest Idea, The Curse of Pocket Grandpa, 12-year-old What Got Bigged, Salt Knuckles, Who is the Chief of the Munch Squad, Fix Our Special Food, Easy and Good CheatingFair Elections Center: https://www.fairelectionscenter.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sex expert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? What, Derrick, three? It's the side of something beautiful. A small quaintant has blossomed, it's rapid, into a precious fraction. I could have never seen what was coming for me, hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach,

my life, it feels like It's better, it's better with you My life, it's better with you This is you, it's better with you My life, it's better with two. My life, I, it's better with you. Hello everybody, welcome to my brother, my brother, me and my show for the Modernaire. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McAulroom. What's up, Trave Nation.

I'm... Thank you. I'm your middleist weather, a big dog travestful of macaroid. Hashtag Travination, Hashtag Travishing. The fact that you have to announce who you are to Trav Nation is utterly mystifying. Oh, I don't have to.

I get to. Oh, OK. I consider it in an honor to say my name out loud. I'm. It's true. He won't let me say it. If you go back through the whole show, I've never said this dude's name.

Yeah. But my name got to earn that. Apparently he's got to earn even introducing himself. Yeah. I'm Griffin. I'm going to interrupt you there, Griffin. As you all know, I'm Griffin McElroy. Michael Roy. Go ahead with your little jokes. Hey, thank you for not saying a little bit.

That was a different thing. Hey, everybody, I'm so, I've got a big tribination announcement to make. I'm so excited to be able to share this with all of you. And with us, it bears a note. Yeah. Rarely do we start a live show and grumbling just and let me do a drink.

I've got to think, don't worry about it. I didn't take a drink. Yeah. As you guys know, over the last four weeks, I've been working nonstop, one hour a week to become an influencer. And I'm very excited to say that the fruits of my labor have paid off.

Oh, boy. Because this month, Cincinnati Magazine put out a very special issue. You're not. And guess it's, no, I wasn't in the photo. So right. Hold on, wait, wait. I wasn't in the photo because I was traveling.

I want to read the cover first. It says the of influence. Oh, age. Age is lost in the cloud. The age of influence. It does say that's lost in the cloud. Well, I was going to say in the age of a slightly wider stroke on that lettering there.

Yeah. That wasn't a good call. I thought it said, I thought it it said Cincinnati the age of in you. You listen, yeah, there's a lot. We haven't even gotten to the reveal poll. The prodigal. This is what I wanted to bring up because I didn't mention in my interview that I moved away for two years and moved back.

You were trapped in a computer for two years. In the reboot first. And apparently they were like, oh, I've got it. The prodigal son, Travis and Aka Roy. Hi, I'm Travis McAroy. I'm Cyber Travis. I'll be your personal assistant today. Spoiler alert, I'm going gonna do a pretty bad job.

Yeah. I know as much or less than you do about these things. Do you know how computers work? I'm just saying, when I made, because you did this to me in the intro, when I made Forbes, they put my ass on the cover. They asked me to be there. They asked me to be there, but I was busy making stacks. Oh, man. And bands, which are the same, but different.

So wait, kind of this real quick. I wanted to check in on it. After the, I didn't see a check set real quick. After the interview, they were like, well, did he say enough interesting stuff for a full page? And they were like, not really. And they were like, well, shut up. They say, do you have any pictures of shark ass? Yeah, I have one leftover picture of shark ass. I can put it in the page to fill out the places where you should have said interesting stuff.

I also cut off the bottom third of the page where they tagged Mark Plier into my page because Mark Plier is also from Cincinnati. So they're like, oh, you know, they're both on the internet and about the same. They just tried to say Mark Plier together, but Mark Plier only got a third of the page. And no shark ass. No shark ass, which is the badge of honor. Thank you since the Nallie magazine. I think a lot actually.

You're the one I didn't see it. Very good. Now Griffin, you have a, you also want to mention change your look. I have changed my look for this as we bring this to a club. Tell me about your shirt real quick. Well, I have been wearing a little sailor guy outfit that people have loved.

Yeah. Except for I imagine a few people who got very upset about it. Yeah. Hong Kong on that one. And today I was packing at Cooom Fight. So I've got a new look, baby. Wait, so today you were packing, or you couldn't find it when packing. So you had this already?

I had this lying around. I've had my training to beat Goku American flag tank top for I Think probably about eight or nine years now. I take really yeah, so fits This is as you certainly guess by now an advice show So what we're gonna do is we're gonna take your questions We passed as we were leaving the hotel, I just want to say, coming here today, we passed by a highly decorated naval officer in the lobby of our hotel. And he saluted Griffin, which was wild. I'm just saying, if I hadn't made this decision, there may have been a pretty bad encounter.

Oh, you think he had been sent, he had heard? Like, yeah, you need to be talking shit, huh? So is that how you think some grownups are, is a naval officer sees you dressed in a sailor where he's like, I'm gonna teach this kid a thing or two. I'm gonna give you a wallop. Come here, mister. Griffin grew up only watching Little Rascals cartoon.

It makes sense. Or shows. He looked like Jag. From Jag. This is our first question. I work as a beekeeper for a national beekeeping service. My coworker is the world's grumpiest beekeeper to the point where when I meet people who have met her,

they bring up her disposition. She has recently expressed her interest in moving to France. Brothers, how do I encourage her to make the move? And make my working life more pleasant. That's from Buzz Off, buddy, are you here? Hi. Hello. Okay, first, a national beekeeping service.

There's more than one? Well, it would be a monopoly otherwise. The government would have to split it up. Yeah. They take... I'll give you some bees if you play your cards, right? I hate when I'm doing beekeeping. The government comes and takes half my bees.

It's a man not entitled to the bees. To the sweat of his bees. To the sweat bees of his own, bro. I get it. Yo, yeah. Which part? The grumpy. The grumpy part is so like, yeah, I probably would be too. Yeah, you get stunned, thousand times. Maybe a million times, so where you don't even feel it anymore.

They're so sweet though, and they are important for the environment. I will say this. I'll stand up for bees on this stage. I'll be the, I'll make the brave choice. But, uh, uh, uh, uh, hold on, wait. But hold on, wait, let me finish with that. I have only been stoned by one animal twice and it was bee. So like if we're talking empirically speaking I would be a grumpy grumpy guy

Okay, but both of you what your theory presupposes is that Somehow they happened into the job of beekeeping like it was like I never decided to work with bees Is that I started keeping other things and eventually the economy led me to be keeping. I saw, I hate this job. I saw a fucking TikTok the other day and it was a person who's lost their beach chair because that queen bee landed on it and then a million bees were like, cool home! So what you're saying is in that moment that person had two choices, posted TikTok or become an amateur beekeeper.

Yes. OK. I'm seeing it sometimes bees choose you to be a beekeeper. Oh, this is an unwilling kerosene area. Exactly, except that they are kind of shitty about it, too. Yeah. So maybe you should just go to your coworker one day and just like, I was reading.

I saw on TikTok the I could do a day. No bees in France. They smushed the last one this morning. They're good to go. Totally saved there. No more bees. Bees can't even fly across the ocean. You're good.

It turned out they weren't doing anything. No. France is stronger than ever. Wait, so the coworker doesn't want to go to France, because there's no bees there? Yeah. You know the job is not like, it's not a metaphor beekeeper. They're not actually eradicating the bees.

No, they're containing the bees. So I don't have to deal with them. Thank you so much. Thank you for your service be he but are you you're supposed to be keep her ghost you're a country with no bees and they just get out a deck chair and chill right I guess jobs done here you can't let your car down Justin that's how they get these to come back at any moment I think polio's making a comeback oh polio there's never a comeback. Oh. Polio. There's never- There's never-

There's never just one B2. That's the problem. If I met a beekeeper and they were like, check this out and they cracked up in their box and there was one cool B in there. How big is it? I'm saying of a beekeeper rolled up with a bee the size of a shit zoo.

You'd be like, oh, hell yeah, that's cool. You're the world's greatest beaky, man. You get it that big. Can I pet it? I'm going to enter it into the festival this year. I'm sorry, guys. I'm out of there. Hey, I'm sorry.

I don't want to be a sick in the mud. I'd love to play with you guys in the space. But if someone walks up with a puppy bee, I'm gone. Oh, man. I'm gone. See, I would be overwhelmed with questions. I just want to stop my legs from moving. I probably scream.

That's what I probably scream. Well, there's a good likelihood it sings you, and then guess what? You got to watch a puppy size be die right in front of you. Oh, no. That's terrifying. I'm not going to be in that room until you become one. Where are you saying they got a werewolf magic?

When they're that big. They got a werewolf. Don't be so have werewolf magic to make you dogbies keep your fucking head on. So watch out. This is going to be one of those things that in two months, Michael shows on a sticker. Like, what do you guys think?

I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? What the fuck does that mean? We did the, hey guys, we did the, we did the fucking dogbies got Wolfman magic. What are you talking about? What is this sticker? The walker,

or worse, someone walk up with like a t-shirt, they found a red bubble, they're like, what do you think? Like, I don't know what the fuck your t-shirt means, man. Help me out.

I love my end laws. They visit regularly and provide much needed child support. Well, at least my mother-in-law does. Every time they visit my father-in-law, he breaks something in my house. Door knobs, drawers, nothing escapes him. The added problem is that he is a proud man who tries to hide his crimes.

Rather than fess up or dare I say, fix them himself. I gotta stop you there. That's not what a proud man does. That sounds like the actions of a sneaky man. Until I heard you say it just that way, it occurred to me because I thought they're saying he's a proud man So he either hides it or fixes himself, but no instead of saying it he hides it and instead of facing it himself He hides it. He's such a proud man. He blames the dog say such an inspiration

Anyway, how do I grand prop prove my home without hurting his feelings as from frustrated fixer in Philadelphia? Are you here? Hey, how's it going? Hello. Can I, let me offer this? Yeah, Grandpa, you're just too strong. Just so, you're still so virile and young. Like, Santa, Dornab, can't even see it.

Let us over the door for you. Don't waste your amazing strength on a door. Yeah. Go out and fight off a mountain line. What's the practical? What's the practical? Practical, I'm not sure if you're gonna follow your father-in-law around yelling all this at him always.

So that way, at least he'll come tell you every time he breaks up things. So he's like, I've done it again. That was the amazing grandpa strength. That was the loudest, baddest idea I've ever heard in my entire life. And Griffin has known Travis a long time. That's a good point.

I think it would be much easier, rather than to grandpa prove your home, to home prove your grandpa. Or home school your, to home school your grandpa. How would you home prove a grandpa? Not let him in I guess okay Now I would argue that that is still grandpa He needs to improve your grandpa you would have to cover your grandpa and like bubble Put him in a big bubble like bubble boy with Jake Jill bubble grandpa will be good bubble grandpa would be good

The problem actually know because if we extend his sort of sphere of physical influence outward by a bunch of key areas, it would get pretty zany. Griffin, that's it. Grandpa on my pocket. What? Yo, yo, don't get that. You don't get that state sign. I can't buy my pocket.

Grandpa on my pocket? Paul, can you find Grandpa on my pocket? If you grandpa, oh and oh good there we go Can't be if you can oh no What the fuck The plane works. Crumble, stop. I'm gonna have to go. I don't give a shit man, this is easy.

Cramp party in my pocket. So what I'm saying is, I guess what I'm saying is, you get one magic hat, shrink grandpa'll down, although I gotta be honest I've watched a lot of grandpa in my pocket, this guy's gotten into a few scrapes in his day too. There's usually a fair amount of highchains that follows grandpa, you saw the plane, I don't really know what I was thinking. I like the bar I like it. I flew the Bible and reliving his glory days of WWE too.

Yeah. Does he get, can he put it on inside out and get bigger? No, Graham, he can't unfortunately. Okay, so wait, no, Travis let me ask my question. Is this forever for him? Because that does quite the music made it seem whimsical. Is Amy? This is a terrible curse. He has infinite hats, but they keep making him smaller exponentially. Well eventually he'll come back around.

Yeah. He'll be down there with Ant-Man and look whatever. He'll be trying. Oh my God, I love Grandpa in my pot. I want that shirt to wear and have him. Can we also acknowledge that if Grandpa in my pocket was real, Grandpa would be begging this child to alert an adult over the situation. Yes.

Because being in this child's pocket can't be the best scenario for this grand-law's city. He will be in. Take me to the Los Angeles home of Richard Moranis, please. On the double, we'll take my plane. Oh, fuck, I forgot. You're on this hat, child. You gave me for my brison. How about you in my pocket?

You're a huge ass. Won't even fit in my plane. Fuck. That kid's gonna to eat grandpa. Probably not. I need you to make it go way, Paul, because actually, nothing we can do is funny. Or then see in that little grandpa, and that gets frogget.

Hey, everybody. OK. I'm very excited being here in Philadelphia to introduce. Woo! Woo! By the way, I got the score of the game. Philadelphia is up 11 runs to zero. Notice how he's not looking at anything.

Don't cheer. He was looking up into the sky when he said that. Paul's gesturing to me. He says big game 11 to zero. Go, Philly. Hold on. Because the other team had at least one before the show did they They took it away on precedent

Yeah, it's to a manager Paul for the record the fish official scores eight two Philly's at the top of the seven Is it sorry hold, hold up. Is it like a big championship game or is it just a Wednesday for you guys? It's a playoffs, baby. All right, good. Wait, hold on. Travis, did you have something to say? Hey, everybody, here at this live show, we have some special guests. I believe you mean weekend evening now. Yes, weekend evening now.

I'm going to tell my brothers the host and the people guest. It's under a separate contract. Oh, okay. Yes. So Saturday night live. I'm going to tell my brothers the host and the musical guest. And they're going to guess the vibe with which that introduction occurs. All right.

The first combination, please. Kate Winslet introducing M&M. Mm-mm. She's gonna go weird, okay, you go ahead. Long. M&M. I think she's gonna go weirdly low, like ladies and gentlemen. Eminem.

Oh, Paul reveal. Ladies and gentlemen, Eminem. I feel like the first half, I was like dead on. Yeah, but then the Eminem came out real quick. The second half, the important part. She had somewhere to be. Next combination, Paul. We've got Jimmy Fallon and Michael

Wubley Christmas. I don't even want to do a Jimmy Fallon impression because it's not going to be a good one because he's a bad person. Now listen, stop. Hey, listen, the sanctity of the game can't bring her... Santa Claus. Santa Claus flavor in a big way Well, okay, is that your call Santa Claus flavor in a major way Okay, I think he's gonna go like like a 40s radio like Ladies and gentlemen Michael Bob why like that kind of house. Okay, he chills juice

I need everyone. I need everyone. I need everyone to listen to the pronunciation. Paul, roll it. Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Boulblay. Boulblay. He hits Boulblay so hard. This 12-year-old what got big? Lovesing Boulblay National Television.

So fun. Look out! He's so lazy as to themselves. He nailed it. He is holding like the angel of Gabriel, just like, come to me. Come to me. Boob, get in that on my show. Okay, next one, Paul.

And halfway, introducing Florence and the machine. Robot voice. Stop, wait, I want to know everything. Ladies and gentlemen, Florence and the machine. A bold swing. This is like when you put your mortgage on like 17 in roulette. And just hope for the best. Hey, Gerv, can I get it one more time, man?

Yeah, sure. Ladies and gentlemen, Florence and the machine. Okay, great. I mean, it's like, what are we, here's the thing, gang. What do we know about in-athaway? Basically, nothing. Okay, no, no, no. Okay, here's the energy. Florence and the machine is her favorite artist.

And she's like, can't believe she's about to see Florence and the machine. Oh, okay. I like that a lot. I like that better than mom. I wish you wouldn't react to him, Travis, because it's sometimes- Why, so after you say, next- No, Bob. Ladies and gentlemen, Florence and the machine. Can. I'm going to give the point to Justin

because in a feeder kid way, that's exactly what I'm doing. Yes, that's true. That was the same, that was the same she do at the Tonys. For somebody everyone thought was dead, but they get up on stage and are like, ladies and gentlemen, the incomparable.

Like, you know what I mean? That reference? You're never going to believe this. It's Florence and the machine. It was like an amount of reverence as if she were introducing like the first COVID vaccine. Yeah. You aren't ready for this.

She said, what's it get the head shake? She just can't. No fucking way. She never saw she, you're never gonna believe this. All right, next we got them. All right, last one.

John Melkovich introducing TI. Oh, man. Okay, so the vibe is like, like he just had a Merlot that's drier than he expected, and it's like, oh, ladies and gentlemen, TI. Like, oh, What a delight. Oh, opposite yelling. Ladies and gentlemen, TI. All right, Paul, roll that game.

Ladies and gentlemen, TI. Okay, play it one more time, boss, my favorite. Ladies and gentlemen, TI. That's like the detective that reveals the murder at the end, but it turns out it's his own son. Like, ladies and gentlemen, my son. It was almost like he was also, the pause was long enough that it seemed like he was also the pause was long enough that it seemed like he was also trying to introduce ti to the audience

Ti audience Good, I begin Ladies and gentlemen, ti How did he not make a Thai joke? Like, you think he's a big jokester on the side? Yes, fair. My company recently relocated to a totally open plan office space. Which months? Oh. Oh. All right. Interest. A lot of cubicle jockeys in here. Yeah.

Gonna dig into it. What? It's much nicer than the old spot, but there's absolutely no way to take a quick lunch nap without drawing attention. Oh, that's weird. That's what a weird bug. And definitely not fucking feature. It's not why, anyway. It's like how we- It's you here. I forgot we invited Snarky Goofy to the show tonight.

It's like we didn't start recording the show on video so we could catch Travis on his phone. We're doing the podcast. I was looking up funny jokes to say. You, you, you can sleep anywhere. Did you finish reading the question? I don't believe you. I don't think I did. But then you did say like you were about to start a sales pitch.

You could sell. Hey, have you ever wanted to sleep anywhere? Hi, I'm Justin McRoch. How do I convince my co-workers we should hang a hammocker too in our break area without coming across as a lazy employee? That's from Sleeppless in center city. Are you here? All right.

So it's just, it hit me. Yeah. What you're going to need to do is you're going to need to fall over somewhere and into something and say, ah, if all you've there'd been a net there to catch me. Oh, that's cool. Now it's a safety concern. Or there is a raccoon loose in here.

I will, I don't call animal control, they're so busy. I'll handle it. The net I bring has to go here and here. Yeah. In the supply cupboard. You know what's coming up? You know what's coming up? Halloween.

Yeah. You're going to go into the office dressed as Spider-Man, but you got there before everyone else. That's cool. And you're strong up some Halloween. Yeah. You're going to go into the office dress of Spider-Man, but you got there before everyone else. That's cool. And you're strung out some hammocks and you're like, Thwip Thwip, I'm a Spider-Man. Thwip Thwip, get it.

And then you leave them there. Yeah. Okay. I don't, here's, I don't want you to come in every day as Spider-Man from that day forward. This is me now. Uh, oh, I got, it's easy. I got it, it's easy. We'll do a skip, okay.

I'm the person. I love this. This is my favorite part. I'm the first one. My brother makes sure. It's not that good. So we're I got to want to take the microphone off of the standard. No, okay. I'm the person. I'm the person in the question and I'm and I you see me dragging it. I've never seen anyone hold a mic like that before in my fucking. It's heavy, so I don't want it. I'm the person. It's the only way to take it off the stand. I don't want to do that. So I've got the bed and you see me driving in the office. Yeah, go on. Cool.

That was like a heavy microphone stand you got there. Hey, can you try to look at the game? Start over. Yes, sorry, sorry. Start not in it anymore, Travis. No, let Travis be in it, Earl. Okay, you're Travis, you're back in it. But one chance. Okay, I got the bed. Start over. Yeah, sorry, sorry. Start not in any more Travis. No, let Travis be in it, Earl. Okay, you're Travis, you're back in it. But one chance.

Okay, I got the bed. Start over. Get a little bit further away. I did. Okay, cool. Hey, what are you fucking doing? Well, we won. We won what?

The contest that I told you about. You never told me about a contest. No, I did, the radio contest. They still do those for offices. I want it. Hold on, wait a second. It's a prize. No, no, no, no, no, no, we want it. You need to let me talk now, because I'm your boss's boss.

You're telling me... He's your grandpa boss. I'm your grandpa, I'm your grand boss. Listen to me, please. Sorry, Mr. Schmiddly. You're telling me that the radio station ran a contest for a bed You would only bring to an office. It's and let's be clear a used bed That is an unwrap unbox dragged on the form mattress. I

Entered us as an office so we could share it. It was supposed to be an office-wide thing and that wasn't against the rules in anyway I didn't read the rules. You didn't read the rules, you're a lawyer. Yeah. Maybe I was, I tried to read the rules so I was too tired. I'm so mad about this, I'm gonna go sleep in the hammock. I set up in my office for every one of years. Thank you.

I like you. You're hired. I already work here. But now we need a boat. Oh, then you're fired. I'm your boss's wife, and I have a lot of say over what he does at the office. I'm not a very nice wife.

OK, this is a rich. Why are you just getting into character? It's a rich tapestry. Would you like another question? Yes, I would like that very much. OK. One night when my wife and I were walking home from dinner, we passed by a theater that was closing after a show. As we walked by the front window of the theater, a woman in a period costume, sorry, a woman in period

costume, appeared and gave us, sorry, if I could just go ahead with the thing, I'm sorry. Appeared and gave us both a big scare. We, and it says here, we thought she was a ghost. Yeah, I mean, those are real, so I sure, yeah. I found out at that moment, my wife has an incredible fight or flight instinct. She yelled a ferocious battle cry. Brothers, I think my wife could take a ghost in a fight But how can I keep myself from getting caught in the crossfire in the future?

That's from I am afraid of no ghosts. Are you here? How is Barotus sure enough? I guess when you say could take him in a fight you're assuming this is a fair fight, right? Yeah, I won't use my ghost powers a lot of people don't think about this I guess when you say could take him in a fight, you're assuming there's a fair fight, right? Yeah. When they're like, I won't use my ghost powers. A lot of people don't think about this, but athletic strong people also die. Yeah. And they're huge strong ghosts.

So maybe think about that next time. Now I've been thinking about this question. You think about Casper, you're like, I could kick Casper's ass. That's a child, Griffin. Okay, but that's a young, devin's saw off. Is that true? Yeah. Oh, okay.

And he dances with Christina Regan. Okay, fine. I love that movie. I know. Ah, 13 days of Halloween. Okay, anyways. I've been thinking about this question, and it makes me think about boxing and the Rocky movies,

and the reason Mickey hides behind Rocky, because that's the safest place to be, is behind the boxer. So when your wife encounters a ghost again, she's got to get behind your wife, start rubbing her shoulders and be like, go get her. Are you saying,

are you saying that the boxing coach, the corner man, if you like, the corner person, stands behind the boxer because they're worried the boxer will just be like, fuck, and yeah, shit, I don't know. Just, you whine them up enough. Punch, punch, punch, punch, punch. Just punching reflexes have already been trained. The same is the eye of the storm.

Yeah, and it comes to boxing. It's right behind the box. It's almost like they should have a different metaphor if it's going to be behind the thing rather eye of the storm. Yeah, and it comes to boxing. It's right behind the box. It's almost like they should have a different metaphor if it's going to be behind the thing rather than in the center of the thing. Yeah. I don't think that ghost would care so much about anything that we do.

I don't think we've developed ghost busters was a funny movie. I think we can all agree, but it's fantastic. Wait, wait, it's all about funny? All of a man, damn. Right, right, come on. Yeah, for sure. How much ghost content are you watching that that is your first

thought? Good question. Your brain was already on ghosts. I don't know how to tell you. If I see a ghost, if my first thought would never be kicker Tass Let's get them you have not watched enough super natural. That's a pain in my brain Go my brain goes hand me some salt. We're putting on my nuggles. Yeah, they don't do that enough on the show

I've written them letters apparently if they're not making it anymore and then they punch the Then they punch the ghost with salt knuckles. Well, ghost don't like salt. Okay. They have high blood pressure. Maccarroy here and listen. At this time of year, I don't know how to hear. But my holiday wish list, it involves stamps. It's stamps.com because stamps.com can do so much for you, whether it's personal or business, so much for you this time of year, save you so many trips to the post office. Help you get the best rates to send packages,

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wild Philadelphia episode, some announcements first coming up This Thursday our first taz utra space. It's run by Clint It's in the Marvel TTRPG series. We got four episodes coming up with special guest Gabe Hicks and Kate Welch It's absolutely amazing Also while we're talking about absolutely amazing cannell night tickets are sale now. The virtual event benefits Harmony House. It's gonna be December 16th at 9 PM Eastern Time. Video on demand is available through January 1st.

Tickets are only $5, but you do have the option to give more as it benefits Harmony House. We also have event posters and ornaments that benefit Harmony House designed by Zachary Sterling. Get your tickets now at bit.ly slash candlemites 2023. That's bit.ly slash candlemites 2023. What are you waiting for?

Also want to let you know that I have been working for the last about year to put together a weekend long TTRPG immersive event at Ravenwood, Castle and Hocking Hills, Ohio. I've got some amazing guests coming out to play games with people so far. We got Iffy Noat away. We got Christina Ariel. We got Sandy Breake. We got Paul Foxcroft.

We got more coming up. Dickens are going to be on sale early in December. So if you haven't checked it out yet, it's called Adventure Quest. You can go to theadventure.quest. For all the details, we're so excited. But now I'm excited to get you back to the episode. Enjoy!

Folks, we get it. Keeping up with an actual play podcast in this economy is a tough self. That's why we have great news for you. The Adventure Zone is changing up its format. We're going to be doing some shorter seasons, more experimental stuff. There's never been a better time to get onboard the zone.

And if you're sick of listening to our voices, we get that too, so we're including some guests. On the subcoming one, we've got K-Lelgin Gabe Hicks, who are incredible. And you wanna stress new games? You got, we've got the new Marvel Multiverse RPG, we're using that and with a really brilliant GM doing it. It's dad, and what he's saying is, is that,

that's just doing it. It's not doing it. You can listen every Thursday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm glad you said that, because nobody says that. Can I just say thank you to you for such a thoughtful interview? Oh my god, yeah. I think you nailed it.

Bullseye! Interviews with creators you love and creators you need to know. Listen to the Bullseye podcast only from NPR and Maximum Fun. If I'm reading my phone correctly and yes I am, the Phillies have just one 10 to 2 We did it Philadelphia. We did it go Philadelphia. We beat that other team Fuck the Orioles Yeah, your birds beat those other birds And the battle of the birds which is also probably how it would have happened in real life. You go so much bigger than Orioles.

That's a good point. So do you feel proud now? There are birds that are dead because of you. All right. You're monsters. Randy Johnson's in the audience, like, yeah. Yeah. No.

Just the one, though though got him fucking good La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la I want to munch fly Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-b story that was at the top of my desk when I came into the Munch Squad office. The chief? The chief gave you a story? I'm the chief. What? Obviously, I'm the chief of the Munch Squad office. Well, it would be the chief of the Munch Squad office. No, but the chief doesn't normally report on the news.

My direct supervisor, the hamburgerler, said, MacOri, we got a great one if I am. That's what you bring in for lunch, my divine? Zaks means releases new fried chicken filly sandwich. You guys didn't have fried chicken sandwiches before now? No, they're kind of more, these people love the filly sandwich, as you call it. The filly sandwich. Just hold on, filly. No sandwich. Can I just hold on Philly?

It's too, no, no, no, hold on. It's too fucking easy with y'all. Because you can just say Philadelphia or Philly before a thing. You know what I think is the best high five? A Philly, no, we are high five. Yeah. I gotta have my Philly nachos considering all of that.

If I'm gonna die anywhere, I want it to be in Philadelphia. Stabbed with a Philadelphia knife covered in Philadelphia poison. Shake myself to death with Philly, D'Area! We got anybody from Fish Town here? Embrace Cider for the Mummer's Parade. Me neither, parking socks. Well, if you love Philadelphia, we must here. Just come on.

I'm going to say it a few times, okay? Just give me a little bit of a respite. It's gonna come into your gray sugar in the dulled lunga into a big shit all over your city. Saucy's southern chicken restaurant, Zaxby's is putting its own spin and on all-time classic, the Philly Cheese Stake. Boy, is he here now?

Oh, cause he fought Rocky and they couldn't get Stallone. For their Philly, Zack's Bees is ditching the beef and instead featuring Zack's Bees signature fried or grilled chicken, savory garlic, they should know. No, which one it fucking is. What the fuck were they thinking? No, it's great.

It's got a son. I feel like everyone's like, Oh, thank God. Finally, someone changed the cheese steak. And a combination of melted American cheese, grilled peppers and onions, like a real fillet steak with cheese. No, it's you all love this. No, you all love this shit. Okay.

Philadelphia and I have a decades-long history. Says Dolph Lunggren, star of the new advertisements. Hey, people of Philadelphia, why was last time you all thought of a Dolph Lunggren? When Zack Smith came to be ready to take on this city's iconic sandwich with a filly of their own, I knew it would be fun to be part of this campaign. Awesome, yeah, yeah, fuck yeah, man. No, wait, now hold on, now I need to know. Hold on, wait. Are you booing Dolf Lungren? Because he, no, no, no, wait, because he played the bad guy in the movie against the good guy from Philadelphia. Or is it because...

Okay, listen. I thought it was because he was complicit in this ad and apparently according to this picture, locked an ass. Okay, listen. Listen. Now listen, y'all, we're gonna make a deal. Okay. I'm gonna play the ad, but you can't booth the whole thing.

Or I'll make you watch it again. I swan a John. Okay? So, be all busy. This is an actor who may love the Philadelphia for all you know. Mr. Dolphs, maybe it's a fun energy in the ad. We don't know what the dinner will be. Maybe it's about as deep in abiding love for Philadelphia. And we'll give you this. When the ad is done playing, you can

better fucking read this. Right. Yeah, but you're not. And then we'll just cut it out of the episode. OK, well, we're going to let Mr. Lunger and say his piece about this equally valid Philly Sim. OK, OK, OK, here we go. Here we go.

Please say, break bread with your enemies. You're not watered in this town. I say go further. Take the favorite sandwich, break it, fill it up with delicious fried chicken. I'll show you really good. Zack's piece fried chicken filly. Fried chicken, what a food! That's how they show love and filly. Now I must eat you. Zack's be Sprite Chicken Philly. Sprite Chicken, what a movie!

That's how they show love in Philly. Now I must eat you. This Sprite Chicken, what a Philly! Is that what? What? I have inadvertently touched the third rail. This is not me and us. I got to remind you all that this is just Zaxpies, which I got to mention, and this is the real fucked up thing about it. There ain't no Zaxpies in Philadelphia. Okay, that's wild.

Watching that commercial Justin and that piece of information, absolutely freaks my being, because I don't know who is this commercial for. What's it for? Because it's Simon Danes who's saying, hey Philadelphia, I've done it, but also fuck you. But also what are you gonna do about it?

I'm not even here. So when Zaxi's been given to me ready to take on the city's comment, okay, after all, the mere existence of the saucy new fried chicken filly is fuel for some spirited debate about the reign of the filly. I don't know, it seems pretty competitive. All time fucking best time for that for sure. To be fair commercial, you outright said we're doing it right. Yeah, for the first time, you know what you were doing.

You were not me. Hey, I didn't do it. We're on your side. D'olf Lungren did it. You know what? I actually fucking hate D'olf Lungren now for real. Just to be fair, the way he eats the sandwich in that gargile feels very personal. Yeah. Um, I, to spur the conversation, the brand decided to go all in, daring to show off its mouthwatering sandwich in Philadelphia itself.

And then don't want to fucking dude like, what braver that they did the ad or that the ad featured the absolute worst bite I've ever seen anyone take of anything The single worst bite ever captured on film hey Justin can I jump back to To further the conversation yeah like they're tackling social issues the conversation. Yeah, like they're tackling social issues. A little spirited debate. Hey, you know what? We're going to get a dialogue going about us ruining your sandwich.

You're saying too, so you're saying it. Okay. Because this is going to change things. While X-P's has over 900 locations throughout the US, this closest restaurant is 169 miles away from Philadelphia. Nice. Fucking cowboys. You can't doboys. Undeterred.

Zaksimis has brought the fire chicken fillet to the city of brotherly love via a series of billboards, only in Philadelphia. Wait, with lines like, just like the fillet you know and love, but good. And finally, the fillet done right. No, hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, Philly, don't be afraid. Just to keep it tallie, I am actually very into this now.

That's wild. Okay, here's what it is. Hey, Philly, don't be afraid. You can't bite at this bait. You cannot bite at this bait. They are. Oh, they want you to, I don't want to read the next sentence, because y'all are y'all going to yell at me.

And I don't want to read the next sentence. Let's try this. Travis, will you read the sentence? Yeah, I'm fine. People have hated me all my life. As an experiment, just try to hold it in this time. As an experiment. This is a quote from Patrick Schwing, chief marketing,

chief marketing and strategy officer at Zaksby's. This, I'm gonna read it as like absolutely shitty as I can. This sandwich and campaign poses a provocative question. Could we as Zaksby's take an iconic sandwich and make it better? What did I talk about? Bro, Phil and Delvia, you suck shit did I tell you? Bro! Philidevia, you suck shit! I'm Patrick Schwinn!

When you take on a beloved iconic sandwich like the Philly, you better be sure it can stand up to even the most discerning critic. As all flungering? Based on the way he bit into that sandwich, I don't think he actually has a lot of food jumping experience. After a year of a soup guy, a lot of spillage out the sides of that wet sandwich. After a year of development and testing, we knew we had a sandwich worthy of the name

Philly. And what better place did itue this sandwich than in Philadelphia? Anywhere fucking else. Uh, so far the campaign is working. In this room, I guess. Yeah. I don't know that I've ever hate driven three hours. Hey, I want to read this last...

Wait, I'm sorry. Like, I wanna read this last, I wanna read this. I'm sorry, like, can I also just say, if you know you're gonna get a close up like that. He doesn't wanna eat that sandwich. One, doesn't wanna eat that sandwich. A lot of makeup on that man, right? Yeah. Hey, listen, listen, putting it's money,

putting it's money away with mouth is, the company is even considering setting up a pop-up food truck in the coming weeks in Philadelphia itself. Pop-up burn down food truck. Yeah. Yeah, hey, all kidding a side, Zach Spees, if you're listening and I know you are,

don't do this, don't. No. Hey, Zach Spees, Philadelphia killed a hitchhiking robot. What the fuck do you think they're gonna do to your pop-up shop? Zach's piece, that was a warm-up for Dolph Lundgren, their least favorite dude. Please don't please don't do this. We can have the entire city of Philadelphia arrested

for as much as I know again. Hey, but, and be honest, just make noise if the answer is yes. If they're free, would you fuck with one? There it is, yeah. We'll see. Now, what you know what you're talking about when you say it's garbage. Now, you probably don't need to do that.

Oh, the best, sorry, real quick, Zach's be, again, they return to the food drug idea and then they make it really clear that they are considering it. They're considering setting it up right in the heart of the city, offering a free sandwich to any brave soul willing to declare the best filly is the Zaxpies Fried Chicken. Wait, hold on, you have to do that before you eat the sandwich? No, after, but otherwise they make you pay for it. That's extortion, I'm pretty sure, by any definition of the law. So I'm sorry that Dolph Lindgren did that to y'all, but I wanted you to be aware of it.

The last line of the press release is finally the filly done right. So I don't know what they're... It's okay. We don't believe that. You know what? I'm just gonna say it as a resident. Condescents, Nanny, and Fixor, Chilly, if you're gonna do anything. Yeah, some... Listen, there's some cities that need a lot of help with their special food.

North Carolina's barbecue, for example. Please! It's all mustardy and we so drunk. So mustardy. I'm going to cut that out. I can say my thing. I'm coming for me. All right, listen, we're going to take it to the audience.

We have asked you to send in your questions. We're going to call people down to the microphone. There's going to be a light that illuminates boom. Sorry, everyone in the splash zone. We're not going to look at you, I promise. So we're going to call you down when you come up to the microphone. If you want to give us a brief synopsis of your question and your name. And if you'd like to give us your pronouns, I guess actually preferably not

in the order that I have just laid out. That would be so wild. Hello. Absolutely stranger. Please read off your name or your question. My name is Danny. Hi. She here. Hi, Danny.

So my question is, I am the daughter of Tor manager Paul. Uh-huh. Yeah. And this has been burning in my soul for a long time. Yeah. So how do I answer the question, what does your dad do without eliciting further questioning that leads to things like he wrote the song

in Normus penis. Yeah, yeah. Well, don't leave with that, Danny. Clearly not that. Now, Danny, you good-bye. Yeah. Astronaut, boom! Astronaut, he's on the new one.

See ya. Bye. Your father, tonight. Yeah. We got little sliders and French fries from my son. And they were, I'm not gonna say the name of the business, but they were incredibly dry. And there was no catch up anywhere.

Paul fucking disappeared for a few minutes, came back, was like, here's two packets, I'll be right back with more. And I was like, no, no, that is enough. Now, that is not all that Paul does, but I think it does demonstrate how he goes above and beyond. Basically, of making sure my son's burger is as wet as is possible.

Other than that, Paul, Paul is here's how I can describe Paul. Paul is the adult man that cares for three adult men whose own actual ass father is usually there in the room with them. I don't know that there's ever been a father cuckold before. But that is what Paul is doing to our dad. Yes. Oh wait, okay, Danny, here's my question. What do you say now?

When someone says, what does your father do? What do you say? Sometimes I say he's a musician and then that gets to like what kind of music. Okay. That's bad. That's what if oh he works on a cruise ship. He works on a cruise ship is a wild fucking answer Travis. That's worse. Sometimes I say he's a tour manager. That's good. That's good. That's a job. But also, this is going to be funny. But now I'm just looking like, you might as well be my daughter in like 15 years. Like, yeah, my dad fucking couldn't work

at Best Buy for the rest of his life. I just got to describe it. But my dad says, he talks about celebrity from SNL introducing other celebrities. He makes dreams come true for us. And I genuinely don't think we would do shows as as much as we dream Well, you can't tell me sad I gotta go to one. Thank you Danny. I appreciate you. I hope that helps

That helped a lot. Thank you Paul Paul Paul Paul Paul There's a lot of... Paul's lucky he was on a good street tonight. There's a lot of shows I would have shut that down a lot quicker Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Paul's like, wait, why are you guys going? And we just hear from the toilet, we hear, lime, lime, lime, I want lime. It's important.

I know why we let the chant go, but we are going to deduct $500 from your badge. Oh, my friend, please step forward. But you are cool. You're in the fire now. You're in charge. Hey, brothers, I'm Steve. Hi, Steve.

Hi, Steve. So I'm a competitive dance dance revolution player. Okay. You hate Steve. Don't act surprised. You know what this audience is. Well, well, well, we'll get. So what if you've gotten a Dolph Longdren boo for that announcement? How can you like raise how fucking confusing would that have been. So super big tournament next week. Oh yeah. I am like, I'm pretty confident in my abilities. Yeah.

I'm like a timid dude. Yeah. Okay. What can I do to be more imposing? Stab a guy. No, don't stab a guy. Clearly don't do that. I'm not saying you should, but you asked what could you do.

Give me a, I need a clearer definition, please, Steve, of the term competitive. Is this something you have done before? Yeah, I'm just heated. OK. I am traveling long distances to compete. OK, cool. That's what I want to know.

That appears a lot of shit off. I know. Like, for a full-time job? No. No. No, that would be pretty bonkers. Yeah. OK. Do you have a big built? No, no, no, that would be pretty bonkers. Yeah. Okay.

Do you have a big belt? Do you have a, can you get your hands on a big belt? Give a big belt, like a big belt, like an award belt. Huge belt, like a wrestling belt. What have you brought a belt, like a wrestling style championship belt? What if you brought a normal belt, but held it up? No, no, no, a big-ass belt where you're like, I'm the champion of it and they're like, I don't know what the belt

is for but he wouldn't breed if it wasn't relevant, right? If you want to use a suit with some competition they haven't heard of before and you're walking around Tim and quiet unassuming walk softly carry a big belt. Yeah. And maybe an embroider robe? Oh, that's tasteful. I mean, clear. I mean, like, boxers? Where? Yeah, that's not where I was at.

Yeah. Could you wear a like-robotty suit, just like a skin tight like-robotty suit, like a superhero? Oh, yeah. Make yourself as aerodynamic as possible. Yeah. That's cool. If you go in there like a human airplane,

that would be so cool. I'm talking shit up into a cat movie. Right, so it's like, yeah, focus up. Can you get a couple of handlers? Who could be like, come on Steve, you got this Steve? That's right Steve, just like we practice. Oh, you got Steve power! And maybe from time to time, hold you back.

Like don't go. No, Steve, be cool. Steve, don't, Steve. They're not ready Steve. They're not ready no, no. Too fast. Steve, don't. Steve, don't rise to this. They're not ready, Steve. The government might be watching Steve. Don't stab him. Not again.

No, Steve. They'll do experiments on you, Steve, if you go that fast. The government will bring you in. The government's going to take you to their science facilities. You'll experiment on your fast legs, Steve. Don't do it, Steve. Throw this one, Steve. Steve, we'll do this shit for you for free. This feels good.

Yeah, I think. Steve, you should go, can you get in a little early to before the competition? Because maybe you continue to act timid, regular Steve that everybody knows and loves. And but you go over to your opponent side before, and what do you do to their side of the BDR map? Put a little jelly on there.

Oh, God. I don't know enough about DDR that might help. Now, you put a little jelly on there, and then when you step up to the plate, they step and they're like, what in the, and you're just like super nice regular Steve, you're like, well, to matter of friend, find yourself in a sticky situation. And then you just like, and regular Steve, you're like, well, it's a matter of friend, find yourself at a sticky situation.

And then you step in yourself, Earth a kid. Yeah, that's true. I know, that would be amazing. Yeah, me out. And then you start DDR and they're like, trying to keep up. And you're intimidating them because they're fucking so sticky and so.

Also, luchador mask. Luchador mask. Don't do that. Maybe, probably don't do that one. But you can't go across the floor to the Step Mania machine and start tearing shit up on that. And all of a sudden, you booted, what the fuck is going on tonight, Philly?

Okay, wait, just so we know, what did it have gone different if we had said big buck hunter? That would be cool, actually. If you're like, I'm a multi-disciplinary. I am a- All you're doing, DD-O. Hey, it's my turn to putt and golden tees. Yeah, I've got the-

What? I've got the e-got of arcades. Big boots. Big huge, huge heavy boots. Steve, that goes without saying, right? You've already got big loud boots, right Steve? He wouldn't wear them if he couldn't dance. I don't light up boots.

Big loud boots. He must have something we don't. Yeah. Uh, does that help? Absolutely. Okay, good, good. Sorry, we just kind of went hand there. I love your dress.

Thank you so much, guys. Hello. Hello. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm good. I love your dress. I love your dress so much. Thank you so much guys. Hello. Hello. I'm Dylan. She heard hi Dylan. Hi So in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, it's about an hour from here. Yes, next weekend. It's October fest sure and I've entered my small dog into the Weiner dog races Sure. And I've entered my small dog into the Weenerdog races.

Hey, I will say, would've been pretty fucking wild if you say you entered your big dog in the Weenerdog races. That'd be a hell of a thing. Or any animal other than dog. Yeah. The wake limit is 25 pounds. OK, so no big Weenerdogs.

Oh, you want to get up. Oh, sorry. You're going to get a real jacked Weenerdog in 25 pounds in the pre-jacked Weenerdogs. If it's pure muscle I mean yeah, I'm saying How do I ensure that he wins? She

She go to the other dogs the night before the race and what do you put on their feet? Yes, you guess Well, oh wait shit. There's a 25 pound weight limit. You're gonna need to feed those dogs some ham How much ham can you get access to in short notice with the minimum of questions? I'm gonna say to be safe, a hundred pounds of ham. It's gotta be a hundred pounds of ham. Let's assume each dog started at five pounds. Your dog, no, but wait, what's your dog's name again? Monty.

Monty. That's a great fucking name for a Weinerdog. Good Lord. If Monty has to watch all of his best Wienerdog friends eat a hundred pounds of ham and you're like holding him back from the giant pile of ham, he's never gonna forgive you. He'll never forgive you. But he's gonna win that fucking race for sure. And what's that at the end of the race? 200 pounds of ham. He's gonna die. Why? He was already in heaven.

How do you go out? Do what he loves. He can. That's how I go out. Statistically, I would say odds are pretty good. Hey, can you learn the other dog's names and call them from the side? That's easy good cheating, actually. That's easy and great cheating. You're saying maybe some ham on the side of the pat. Oh, that could be good too. And what's that with your ownerscope? There's just ham. Roller skates. No, that's certainly against the rules, right? Rocket pack. Rocket pack and roller skates. No, that's certainly against the rules, right?

Rocket pack. Rocket pack and roller skates. Hello. It doesn't say on the website that you can't... Slippin' slasks. Oh yeah, there's no rules, says he can't. Airbugs. There's no rules that says it's all right.

There's no rules that says it's all right. You should get in the race. You should take... I'd be like, Monty's sick or whatever. I'm gonna take... I have the number, so I could do it, because you didn't say the rules that humans can't do it. Yeah. Take that fucking, air butt dogs are gonna watch that movie,

and be like, I actually fucking get it now, like this sucks. I wanna see an air butt, a scene where they're like, yeah, I don't see the rule book, that a dog can't believe that, I believe that as well. And I was like, yeah, it also doesn't say the rule book that they can't stab each other, but we all know It's a chance Does that help?

Absolutely Hello hi, my name is Owen he day hi, Owen My question is I Completely bullshit my way through French 1, 2, and 3. Yep. As you should. I'm now in French 4, which is all French. I have no idea what I'm doing.

What should I do? Oh, Owen. Oh, and this question in Espanyol is why I went to college for five years. Because I got to Spanish for and they're like, it's like Spanish, you know, like they're using it a lot. And I'm like, I don't know. I just barely got through the exact same thing happened to me. Spanish for day one. And ironically, your name was Mrs. Layman, said, oh, no, no, only a spitting oil. And I said, oh, no shit.

Oh, no, oh, no. And I try to tell my teacher, I don't speak. That's your job to teach you. That's your job to teach you. I don't know how to speak it. You have to help. You could try that. Say, I'm out gracefully.

That's what I literally dropped out of us, an overly ambitious combination Spanish class in my freshman year of college. That lost me a scholarship that was pretty cherry. You've come to the wrong place. What? I'm the wrongest imaginable place. But now, we have the power of Duolingo.

You know, we play. They're not our current sponsor, Traygan. But now we have the power of duo lingo, you know with wait, they're not our current sponsor Traycan but now we have the power of babble, you know Yeah, you could oh what about this oh, and you could study a lot in your free time and get really good at Spanish I can tell oh it hates that. Dolph Lundgren. Fucking step me, Mia. Oh, and studying. Philadelphia hates all this shit.

Okay, Owen, wait. Owen, please step out to the mic and tell me your problem with that solution. It's French, not Spanish. Yeah, we know that. So you've passed the first test. And, wait, hold on. Also Justin, Owen is already given to us the beads of information

that Owen bullshit it their way through one, two, and three. And you're like, just study harder. Change yourself. Change yourself on a fundamental fucking level, Owen. You know the end of Catch Me If You Can, when he's like, how did you pass the ball? And he's like, I studied. You could just be like, I didn't,

I didn't pass Spanish, I didn't do it. And you can't make me do it, so I'm just not gonna do it. Justin, just to check. Yeah. At that point in the movie about a con man who's lied about everything in his life from like 14 on. Yeah.

And he's like, I studied. You just it went totally true. You're supposed to understand that it's true, right? You understand that it's true. He's a lying man. Thank you. But he did this one thing. Oh man, you, right? You understand that it's true. He's a lion, man. Thank you. But he had this one thing. Oh, man, you're right.

I see what you're saying now. Yeah, man. You have it. You have it. You do have an app on your phone that will translate shit in real time. Like, we have come pretty close to the full blown hitchhiker's guide, like Babelfish, shit in your ear.

That is not great. It's much easier than Travis's answer. So keep that- Wait, what was mine? Just do work. No, that was Justin, I would never. Okay, good. You could actually just,

what? Why don't you just to expand the Babble thing further? Just go to your teacher and say, I don't want to be rude, but I have a pretty good feeling that once I'm older, I'll think it's fun to do this on the toilet. So I am just going to hold off, and once I'm old, I'll learn it on the toilet.

Because that is what. That's great. Oh, wait, Owen, are you in high school? Yes. OK, great. You're Jesus and care. 100% they are not paid enough to care. Owen, it's easier to pass you than make you do it again

Don't worry about it, but you're good. Oh, in have a good time be nice and charming. That's all you need to do And Owen does that help Yes, thank you. Thank you. That's right answer. Oh, thank you Hello, hi, hello, I'm Savannah. She heard Hello, hi, hello, I'm Savannah. She, her. Hi, Savannah. First of all, I'm visiting from Illinois. I don't know if the good people of Pennsylvania can go to a dispensary whenever they want to. One dude fucking for sure can. Yeah, his name's Todd.

Yeah, okay. Well, I go to one rather regularly. Yeah, cool. A boy that I buy my product from regularly, I look to him in the eyes. I'm man, surely. Yeah. A boy, man. I looked him in the eyes and said, I love you. I love you.

Hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. There's Savannah. We are in a precarious, we're in bullet time right now. Savannah in a precarious spot. There were steps. Right. Yeah, you've leaped right over those. Did you do you feel this or did you say it like the way that you would say it to a teacher accidently? That wasn't my question, but yes, answer that. It was a combination of things. Okay. Okay. Now Savannah.

So there was a really good sale. Love that. Always puts me in a happy mood. Yeah, I do love it. You know, throughout history and marriages, I'm started with worse. So was it like a, yeah, look. Give me a reading.

Can you recreate? Did you say, I love these deals, Andrew. He said, here is your product. You got a really great deal. And I wanted to tell him, you, and also I love that. Oh, okay. No, but I got to hear how you said it. It's so important to me.

And we'll know it's not towards us, because there's a wall here. Well, I had been, I had partaken in product. We assumed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah This person still thinks about this daily. Like what was the, the toilet is what gets to me. Yeah, there's like 19 different deliveries you could have done where they'd be like,

yeah, I've heard that before. Yeah, you're pretty fucked up, but that's, woo, all right. I didn't say anything after that. No, of course not. Yeah, I'm sorry. If you're telling me, this is actually better, Savannah, if you've been like, I love you, I course that. If you tell me, this is a way better, Savannah,

if you have been like, I love you, I don't. Did they say anything after that? I don't remember a black doubt. That's fair. Let me just say this. Let me just say this to reassure you. You did everything right. Everything that came after the mistake, you did so good.

I wouldn't change a thing. I just need to know what I say to him next time. Oh, next time. Interesting. Okay. I assume you mean next time you go back, not next time I say I love you. Okay. Here's what you do. Savannah walk right up to the counter and say, hi, I don't love you. I would like some weed.

That could be good. I appreciate you on a basic level. I'm willing to get to know you. I love what you're out of that. Alternatively, you could say, hello, I'm not Savannah. Can I have some weed? And this is a little hat you have. You have a big hat. No, it's got me a big hat. Oh, Savannah, Can I have some weed? And this is a little hat you have. Yeah, big hat. No, it's got me a big hat.

Oh, Savannah, do you have a weed for me? Oh, me a big hat. That could be cool. Maybe a big muckstatch inside any combination. Can you send in three kids in a trench coat to buy your weed for you? If the little rascals was made today in 2023, there would be a scene where they get on each other's shoulders

and Bipod at a dispensable. I do like, I like a closed loop of it used to be that teens would find adults to buy beer for them. But now we need to be your old sub-i weed for us because we said I love you to the dispensary boy. I, it was, that's a bummer that happened to you, but it sure is nice that you're good friend weed was there now, we forget all about it. If I was gonna fuck up in front of everybody,

I'd want it to be my friend weed. Savannah, is it possible that you remember it that way, but it went like this. Oh, you got a great deal And then you stood there for maybe a half a second and for you it felt like 10 minutes I heard the dramatic recreation. I think your leagues away Travis. It seemed pretty down the middle You miss the point where Savannah said they were taking they're taking a weed before they went into the dispensary Yeah up until the you it's crystal clear memory. Yeah, sure.

Oh, no. Hold on, wait, wait. You can, oh, I've got it. Fucking great. Next time you go, you say, hi, I'd like some marijuana, please. And then they give it to you. You pick it up, really close to your face, and say, I love you.

That's it. Does that help? Does that help? I know that helps. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. I want to tell you there's a poster out there in the lobby

by Kate May. And it is adorable. And you can only get it at this show, and the next two shows, so you should get it while you can. I don't know why I'm getting squished. I'm the most agile of the three of us, but I do like how it worked out, but it looks like Dad's sneaking in.

Yeah. Let's SPS69. Fuck, that's good. Shit, thank you. Y'all's vibe tonight has, let me say, as someone who's dead a lot of shows, Y'all's vibe tonight has, let me say, as somebody who's dead a lot of shows, Y'all's vibe tonight, it's been very, very fun. Thank you all so much for that.

Thank you. Yeah, thank you. It's fantastic. I like the feeling that if I say the wrong thing, someone will beat me up. Yeah, that's thrilling, I'm not used to that. I feel very blessed that you all didn't just decide to hate us. Yeah, that's great.

I hope, Ellie. So far so good. Thank you to the Miller Theatre for having us here. Yeah, this is a beautiful place. We love it. Thank you to Paul Saboren, our cook-old Dan. Amanda and Rachel, so on everybody. Thank you so much.

Oh, yeah. Thank you to Montagne for the use for our theme song, My Life Is Better With You. Oh. Hey, thank you to Henry. He told us, with Griffin's son, told us to thank him and look show. Yeah, thanks, Henry, and my son.

Yeah. Somebody in this audience got a poster that has Henry's signature on it. Hidden, very good. OK, this side, house left, your mind, center's Travis. Well, you've got to lead into that, how's it made? How's it made? No, I don't.

So listen, here's the sound. You're going to do my sound, center Travis, Housewright Griffin. Lou... My name is Justin Macriott. Hey, Travis and I'm Travis. I'm Griffin Macriott. You're gonna put up another beat because you're not square on the lips! I'm gonna have to make his your dad square the last It's better, it's better with you. Bye-bye! Oh!

It's better with you. directly by you.