My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 694: Pre-Show Pzizz

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

This episode is coming to you, TravNation, hot from the high seas, where anything and everything is legal! That includes spaghetti showers, ham whittling, and your dad's LSD. We're gonna be here for a while, at least until the Merfolk invade the land. Suggested talking points: Scurvalicious, Embrace Bouyancy, Wild Hog Soul, White Beyond our Years, Don't Touch Me Until I've Had My Shower World Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? What, Dirty Three? It's the start of something beautiful A small quaintance has blossomed It's wrapping into a precious friendship

I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like It's better, it's better with you My life, it's better with you This is you all It's better, it's better with you My life, it's better with two. I like, I like, I like, it's better with you.

Hello, welcome to my brother, my brother me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McAroy. What up, Trave Nation! I'm coming to you from international waters, still Trave Nation, but uh but hello, what up? It's me, your middleist brother Travis, McElroy. Can I start going before Travis? Can I start going?

That makes more sense, doesn't it? I feel like it makes more sense. I don't get me wrong. I love travel nation. Everything it stands for. I hope it, I think it's gonna at least play. The guards, the guards are coming for granted. And the guards, all the freedoms I'm afforded are incredible.

I love those. I love those. I think, though, I think, Travis is going to do real good in Euro. We should this year. I'm Griffin McGrath. Thank you very much. What's up, Travis? Thank you.

Sorry, you were kind of bringing up there. Wi-Fi here on the nine month cruise ship is a little spotty, but. Oh, okay. I didn't realize you were there. Okay, that makes so much really hard to do the amount of lag between us right now because I imagine you are navigating yeah I'm on the boat Justin that's right sorry I didn't mention it sooner what that's good guys guys this trust I'm so worried about you man what's that I'm so worried about you, baby. What's that?

I'm really worried. Yeah, I'm just really worried about you. I read a headline, let me see, when was it today? Nine-month cruise passenger is praying for the best, a ship approaches treacherous drink passage. How are you doing, Travis? Well, because I'm a little worried. We're in uncharted waters here.

Unfortunately, I mean that sincerely. We have discovered a part of the ocean that no one has been to yet. Okay. Which is weird. The Atlanteans are not happy. Oh, sorry. We encountered Atlanteans out here.

Nine months at sea. You're gonna hit some Atlanteans. Yeah, man. We've discovered some things. I don't actually I'm realizing now I don't know how much I'm legally allowed to talk about Visavi the Mer people the more folk we have encountered you don't have to actually abide by maritime law Oh excellent. Okay. Yeah, they're sexy as fuck guys Oh, excellent. Okay. Yeah, their sexy is fuck guys. They're out here. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Okay, I don't know if they can use technology

or they are. Stick your microphone in the fish tank behind you. If one of your fish say, it's okay for you to say it. I did recreate my entire office in my birth so that it would, I mean, I'm gonna be here for nine months, right? Yeah, we need some kind of consistency here. So, yeah, I'm like, you're saw like your stools for the next nine months,

they will be no. Okay. They're a boil. I saw one report, Travis, that the least expensive interior state rent on that trip is $16,850. For the next months. So this is what I'm saying, right? I did, I just did a quick calculation.

That's 60 bucks a night. Booking pretty good. Honestly, you can't get into a red roof in here for less than 80. I bought mine on ticket master, it was resold. I paid about 120,000, yeah. Okay. But it's to be fair, that was sponsored by Squarespace.

So Squarespace is footing the bill. Thank you Squarespace. Thank you Squarespace. Thank you Squarespace, square space. Thank you, square space. Love that. The average is like 182 a night. Okay. I mean, that's high, but like, I can get,

I can get you into the radison over here. I can get you into the double tree down down for about that. Like, do you want to say the double tree in Huntington for 274 days or you want to go? say the double tree in Huntington for 274 days? Or you want to go? Does the double tree in Huntington float to incredible continents? This is what I'm saying. What I'm saying is the nine month cruise,

the ultimate world cruise by Royal Caribbean, is an incredible value. Well, unassailable. Well, good for I would say one of the differences between saying, and as you have described it a landlocked hotel,

is probably that you have access to a constant influx of supplies, whereas I just learned yesterday from the captain that we took on all the supplies we're gonna take on at the beginning, no stop-sees. No, this is apparently nine month continuous cruise, which I didn't realize we're gonna go to the different continents or whatever

and wave at them from a safe disk. Okay. But, so we started, we didn't know this at first. We had a pretty big party the first night and apparently used up 50% of the supplies. Yeah. I mean, honey, to this resource limited too, I can't get bok joy here.

Sure. That's fair. We have limited drinking water at this point. So, that, what is, a couple of us have set up stills of various flavors and types. If you guys see water world, you know when he's like refining his own piss,

that's kind of where we're at. And it's at the state you're in right now. And it's like refining his own piss? That's kind of where we're at. Is that the state you're in right now? Yeah, and it's like week three. What's your physical condition right now Travis? I would say... Stir malicious. Yeah.

Yeah. Now, having the murmur people here helps. Frankly, we haven't started to get a little bit monotonous here on week three already. Then they came around. They're a little bit monotonous here on week three already, then they came around. They're a little violent, but so fucking sexy guys. I can't get you over it. We kind of let it go.

You know what I mean? They've thrown a couple people overboard to the sharks. That's, they sharks got to eat. Sharks got to eat. That's what they say. That's what they say every time they do it. I have to ask a question that's been sort of burning in my mind, this is such a specific length of time

for the crew to go, what if someone gets pregnant on day one and has a baby by end of it? Yeah. Where whose baby is, like, where's the baby live? What's the baby's? Can I tell you what's weird? Did the baby get a passport on the boat? Two thirds of the passengers are pregnant.

Holy shit. And they weren't when they started. Yeah. They were day three. Okay. And now they're keeping them in this like gelatinous pool in like the hold. And here's what's weird. They're predicting future murders. That's whole. Yeah.

Okay. I heard that you could see their dreams projected on the TV throughout your state room. So that's actually, but what are they dream about? Mostly the sexiest fuck more people. It's a fair bet. I may predict that more people throwing people overboard, which isn't frankly a big prediction. It happens every hour on the hour. So, I heard the only food left is ham and all the buffet offerings are ham cut in the different shapes and dye different colors and seeds and differently. Is that act? Yeah, there's a ham withler.

It was a professional ham withler. He stands in front of you know, those boards of the big light on top. And he starts lifting up. He's gotten pretty good at this point. He wasn't a ham withler to begin with, but it just went nine months. He's gonna be the Michelangelo of ham.

Yeah, he's already started like trying to do people's faces. He's done some death masks of the people we've lost to the sharks, which have been lovely. We keep those, as it constantly rotting remembrance of those we've lost. We've lost about 50% of the passengers at this point. Yeah, so nine months in, this ship's gonna dock. Well, the boat's a full to brim with nothing,

but rotted ham deathmaps. And babies and children. Now, here's the other thing I should mention. The pregnant folks of all genders, frankly. They, the gestation rate appears to be highly escalated. Oh, like fast baby. Yeah, fast baby. This is a really progressive dystopia you've created.

Yeah, champ. You know, now that I'm hearing me say it all out loud, I don't think I'm having a good time. No, I don't think you are either Travis. I look forward to seeing your hand mask, but I will miss you a lot. Do you guys worry that, okay, so I've been on the, we've done the joke, okay?

Yeah, only one week now one, by the way. Only one week, right? That's what we can't worry. Which I didn't think would be a selling point that it was only one week. Only one week? But now. So, but even after, we have a great time,

but after that one week, I'm like, whoo, glad to be back on solid ground, right? Yeah. I'm saying that this is unprecedented enough that I would be concerned that there might be a new type of madness. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? A new type of like cruise madness that might set in and it's not like we're not conditioned to this, right? So no one's ever been on a boat for nine months. What are they doing? When the winds die down and the boats it's stagnant upon

that nasty mirror. What's called the ocean? Our progenitor is used to do this thing all the time, right? It would be, let me pop over to England for nine months in a boat. That would be fine for them. They wouldn't even notice. But we are not built for that. So I'm saying that I don't work. I don't think a lot of them were pleasure cruising around the ocean in 1720. Yeah. But yeah, this is a, I'm worried a new kind of like, maybe all these people come back and it's like

a generational event, you know what I mean? Like all these people come back and cruise madness and they start like trying to get other people going. Like we shouldn't be here on land. It's not right. It doesn't need to be a city. Through the calls to us. Your bones are so heavy here.

Gravity is so much stronger on Earth. Embrace buoyancy. Embrace buoyancy. The bubbles will low. Embrace buoyanauticus. Yeah, so that's really happening. And none of that was a joke. Um, this is a joke, though. This is an advice show. Uh, we take your questions. That wasn't a joke. Jokes are jokes are coming. But those are coming. No, I think it's kind of a, it's kind of a joke that we give people. Yeah, yeah. No, I know. I know. I know. I know. I'm saying like,

we are jokes. Okay. Uh, my 60 year old dad recently asked if I'd ever tried LSD before. I panicked and said no, because I didn't know if you freak out, even though I'm an adult. Surprisingly, he ended up offering to try it with me. The thing is I have plenty of experience with this stuff already. Should I fess up or go with the flow and pretend like it's his first asset trip is also mine. That's from tripping in Tallahassee. But don't do that. Please for the love of fucking God.

Yeah. Do not go into an LSD trip with a deep seeded secret and a demand of performance on you. Yeah. No way. Guarantee you are setting yourself up for a non-injoyable time. I know. Listen, I'm not a pure, I'm not, you know,

some kind of straight edge, you know, cut through. None of the three of us have done LSD. Never done it, Allison. I have not, not concept. Not concept. Except for what I've seen in movies referencing, not even set in referencing like the 70s and 60s

of a lot of, in a white room. Yeah. That's the closest reference points I have. That may not even be that one. No. I don't, my unfamiliarity with LSD is so complete that I don't know.

I couldn't name the same as acid. Is it the same as acid? I don't know. It is. LSD is acid. I'm pretty sure about that. I'll see. So that's about drop. Let's talk about crime. Okay. Okay. Here's my here's our amount of drugs. And this is what scares me. Yeah. For me, for those two way,

hold on on those two separate ideas, just then, are you about to tell us where you're at on drugs? And then later, what scares you? Yes. All drugs. Scarcos. This is every drug drug from like nicotine up to the big dogs. Just the big dogs. The big dogs, right? The big dogs.

In my mind, there is a line. And on this side, and this line has moved throughout my life. Sure. But there is only two sides of the line. Fucking terrifying. And stuff I do a lot of all the time. Okay. Yeah.

Things do have moved. If my guy is a permeable, osmotic barrier. Yeah. Okay. But that's why I have to be really choosy. It's sure, sure. Because that's the only, and that does not, things I've tried and haven't tried. I'm saying that there's only two lines.

That is my fear. I have created my own class, what it class to, my own scheduling program, my head, and it's terrifying. Or do it all that to do for real no good reason. I could definitely see Justin. You, maybe a bit. Thank God, yeah, I could definitely see Justin. He's a corporeal. I

was I think of the three of us. You would be most likely to like try LSD and within a calendar year, like be living in like a caravan on your own property with like beaten. You don't think so. No, Jayduck. I don't honestly, again, I must stress this enough. None of us have done this substance before or ever will. To be fair, I didn't mean that like a Walter White thing. I meant that more like a pool of 100% right. If one of us was going to have a psychedelic experience that destabilized their core values to a point

where they're like not podcasting anymore, they're not doing any of that, they're like doing the full ranch, like living in a year. It's experiencing. It's just it would be me. I bet you're the most likely to do it. Yeah, but again, that barrier would slip back a little bit

and I think you'd be right back in that office. Yeah, I think about six months with past and you'd be like, oh, there's a new Dark Souls. Oh, yeah. So Griffin, I will tell you this, it has proven to be something of a one way barrier. That's the issue, isn't it? It's not, things regularly get like rescheduled

and I'm horrifying. Once I know they're not terrifying, they're not terrifying, you know? A lot of them we should stress are terrifying. This is so important. And I'm obviously, right? And obviously there is definitely, there's some terrifying stuff over there. Right, right, right.

Like for sure. Yeah. But I don't know. I have not tried. What does it matter? My personal. No, no, no, Justin, please. Oh, no, I have not tried. He hasn't had

scoopers. He hasn't had. You've had to do it though, right? I haven't had H or horse or food. Any of them. I'm trying to eat the horse you've huffed, right? Ray Charles told me that quitting smoking was harder than quitting heroin. And I did quit

smoking. So you tell me maybe on. Well, let's not wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, gonna seem out of nowhere. Well, what was harder for you? Clidding, so the other way around. Thank you for asking Justin. No one's ever asked me that before and I've been waiting for them to. I'm a bad guy. My answer is gonna shock you. Stay tuned after the commercial break.

What Ray Charles? And then he did a square space test. It was really cool. This is my thing for this listener, y'all. This is, we gotta stop doing things without thinking about them. Because I thought you were gonna say, I do think you're about to add, but go on, please. No, but you already told your dad you didn't do it.

Like you already told your dad, you don't wanna have to own up to that. That's way worse. I mean, you do have a pretty good out here. It's actually the perfect out. This is a fucking slam dunk. When he gives it to, he'd be like, oh, acid.

You asked for an LSD before. I have never done LSD, but this is acid. It asks is the same thing? Wow, okay, dad. Let me take it away. Okay, one little thing though. Are you, if you have done LSD before and your dad doesn't and you're kind of like a drug guy, you know,

like drugs, do you trust your dad to procure? To source it. Do you trust your dad? These are commemorative stamps. I wouldn't trust our dad to procure a Machiado. Okay. I'm certainly not going to let him. Now this, this man is perhaps not a Clint McAroyo level talent,

few men are. Yeah. But like, I wouldn't trust, I'm not sure you want to trust your dad to get your drugs. Maybe you'd be like, yeah, dad, much, my treat. Have you done all that drugs with your dad? Because LSD seems like a big starting point for that. It is a huge jump forward. Yeah.

Good point, Travis. But what do you do? I mean, like, is that the difference? Is that the difference? Is that the defining line of like, is there a line where it's just, there are some drugs that you are doing with other things and then there's other drugs that's just like,

no, we're just gonna make a day of it. We're gonna make a day of it. We don't have another activity, right? Yeah, you're not gonna put, you're not gonna drop acid and then be like, and now let's watch season one of the crown together. Now some people probably do it. I was thinking more like,

you're not gonna drop acid and then take your midterms. What? Well, let's all do. I don't know. Again, again, our lack of knowledge about what LSD or acid is, does the people who do it is so, so vast, we know nothing about it. What if it's like the limitless pill and we just never done it?

Could be. My only experience with drugs in this like neighborhood is that I once took a, what I have since been told is a heroic dose of mushrooms and the whole, I mean, that was it for that, right? But I'm bringing that terror that I experienced to this conversation. I'm sorry about the baggage that I'm bringing. Because those are different things. And hallucinogens, hallucinogens have like medicinal properties

that we could be researching right now. I love it. I don't think your dad and you are gonna do that pioneering. Wait, is your dad a scientist? Is your dad a scientist? Your dad is like, is Kaiser Permanente. If that's the case, I would absolutely trust your dad to secure the good stuff. good, the good stuff.

Hey, hey, son. Yeah, dad, John Hopkins. What could you perhaps act as like a drug guide for your dad? Like you stay grounded. You keep your feet on the ground. Yes. And you're like here, like, because you should do that. I do know at least that one. Keep your feet on the ground. Big shout out to Brian for keeping me alive. The night that I took a row, it's so much fun. It's important.

I went off for that for your dad and just kind of see how it goes for him. And then, you know, alternate. That's a good, that's a good one. Guys, isn't it ironic that the limitless TV show got canceled? It seemed like there's a really pretty clearly defined limit on what that that was capable of. I'm in to tell you guys our health care stop covering the limit. No, man.

It's 2024. Sorry, we got to make jokes on our own. No. Start paying out a pop. I was just starting to be on an upturn. I've re- if I took the limitless pill, you know what the first thing I do is. What's sages?

Invent a limitless pill that lasts forever and is better. Oh, that's cool. Oh, shit. Yeah. Why didn't they do that? Take the limitless pill. Wish for it. Because if people who invented the limitless pill,

yeah, we're not on the limitless pill, right? Justin in the movie, he does. Do you think that if he is, he's like, this one's 20% better. Did you see limitless track? Nobody saw limitless. I saw it on a plane where you see limitless. In the liminal limitless base.

That is the only movie you should, that is the only venue in which it was available. Yeah, it's all weird. We really straight to Delta. We really straight to Delta. We really straight to Delta. We really straight to Delta. We really straight to Delta.

By the way, I do want to say big thanks to Alaska Airlines for bringing my brother, my brother, and me season two. Stop it. Hey, can we approach the wizard, please? Please. Raven sent this in. That's a good name for someone who has taken us to a wizard. I imagine the Raven was carrying an orb.

We got pulled into that orb. Orpale is on time. The orb was then flown to the mountain top. The boss is never gonna believe that this happened when we twice this week. Damn, this is a wiki how article was written by Glenn Corot. 94% of readers found this article helpful. Oh, damn. I know, that's the highest ever.

That's more than our show. That's 13 signs that you're in old soul and what it means. Thank you, Jesus. That was a strange reaction to that. Yeah, that was a weird way. Yeah, I emphasize Jesus in a weird way. I meant to be more like, oh, thank you, Jesus. But not like thank you Jesus.

But is this something you've like needed for a long time? Because that's what it, I mean, so, were you not expecting to be cross-examined, Donnie? No, I sang thank you Jesus. Listen, I definitely think I'm an old soul, but there are times where I look at my younger daughter and I'm like, what is going on behind those eyes?

And she's seeing some stuff. She's having some flashbacks to things. I don't even wanna consider. I will say, when people say you're an old soul starting in like your late 30s to early 40s. It's no longer a like outrageous, it's like yeah. Yeah, man. It is. It's at least 36 years old.

Yeah, but the so that's the dog years, but I don't want to tell you. Yeah, I have a dog soul inside of I've an old dog soul. I have a real dog soul Wild hog soul What is an old soul an old soul feels older and wiser than their age reflects the concept of old souls Originates in the spiritual idea that bodies are vessels for souls and And if you're an old soul, your soul continues to reincarnate. Fuck yeah. So where are the young souls come from? Well when two old souls love each other very much, they have, they soul pork and then

I'm looking to the orb. Watch the soul's pork. What are you doing? Get out of here. So today old souls aren't necessarily a spiritual thing. It just means you have lots of empathy, mental acuity, intuition, and insight into yourself in the restaurant. I would say I would say all of those things are possessing great quantities by most of the old people that I encounter in my day to day life, which isn't

many signs you're an old soul. You aren't materialistic. You rarely find happiness in material possessions or money as an old soul. But I love it. Maybe that's true just because if you're an old soul, maybe your soul doesn't know about all the cool things to buy that there are. Yeah, maybe also a little impractical soul. Like, listen, I get it.

At least these capitalism fucking sucks. But I do need some things to exist, right? Like, I have done Justin's full blown LSD turn around yet to give it all up and live off the lane. Yeah, right. My soul doesn't know there's a new iPhone now. If they did, they would spend soul bucks on it, which is the money.

Yeah, if it doesn't come up on my souls for you page, then I probably don't know about it. No point, no point. By the way, your soul does work at a spiritual job while you're asleep. Oh man. Through soul bucks, you have no access to the soul bucks, and this is from the article,

you don't get access to the soul bucks, but your soul can spend the money on the soul goods and soul services. Can I tell you that makes so much sense, because the older my soul gets, the less like rested I feel when I wake up. And I say job, it's possible that my soul got elevated

to a position of the company that it was not prepared for and is maybe taking on too much responsibility. Do you see Boss Baby? Yeah. Yeah. Were you about to, hey hold on, were you about to say unfortunately,

you hateful man? No, you about to say unfortunately you hateful Man, no, I was gonna say unfortunately. I've seen boss baby, which is good and then all of the other boss baby It'll find God thank you Travis for having all the courage You're an intellectual who loves knowledge and truth. Is this my horse go? I'm sounding older already your wise beyond your years Do people consider you mature for'm sounding older already. You're wise beyond your years. Do people consider you mature for your age or openly call you quote, wise beyond your years?

Again, by this age that I'm at, wise beyond my years, doesn't cover as much road as it is. You know what places have an early dinner special? That's not particularly, yeah, right. You can tell you the names of many of the contestants on this season of the Golden Bachelor. I don't think that that means much now. You know how to address an envelope properly. Yeah. You know, old people stuff. I would say

that this is also the older I get the less I want. I like now. It's so I was like, oh, you have a young energy. You have a young soul. That's better to me because I've never, I've never been told I have an old soul. I've never been, no one has ever thought about Travis Patrick McRae and thought, that man is mature beyond his years. What? No one's ever told me I'm was, but I'm a year's not my entire life.

That's not a single time I said I were up in the me. Not once. I'm lucky to get your wives at exactly your years. You are a kid. Yeah, you nailed it. I've been told I'm strong beyond my years. Yeah, that's true. Oh.

When I was six years old, I was, do you guys remember seeing pictures of that kid like stayed on a fortune-flexing? They called it baby Hercules and he was so strong. That was you. That was me. That was you. Yeah, you felt like an outsider among other kids your age as a child. Achilles and he was so strong. That was you. That was me. That was you. Yeah.

You felt like an outsider among other kids your age as a child. Well, yeah, they were intimidated of my huge muscles. You were a strong body. I had an old body. You were Benjamin butting, but in a good, like, cool way, sexy Benjamin butting. Did you feel like you didn't quite belong

among your classmates at school? Yeah, oh, this is why. Oh, man, great. Oh, glad we were able to finally dial that in. I thought it was all of the show teachers from all the children's theater shows I'd been in, but no, it's because my soul was real old. Mm-hmm.

Oh, that's so. Because I look like Minkus, but no, I was just an old Minkus. So. You prefer spending time at home alone. Well, there's now hold on. This isn't an age thing anymore, I don't think. No, right? I have a shy soul.

I have a lazy soul. What's your soul's in-gram? Why does an old soul have to be introvert? That doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, I feel like an old soul would wanna get out there and just be like, what's going on here? Yeah, they're back in a young body. I've seen movies like that.

Oh, I'm getting a good back to eating whatever I want and having sex with people and doing drugs and stuff. I'm young again. So good to be in a body again. Yeah. Uh, uh, guys, you're often asked for advice. Wait a minute. Hello. Uh, guys, you're often asked for advice. Wait a minute. Hello.

We must be three grandpas at here because of how much advice we're giving out and how shy we all are. My soul is old as fuck. I got a middle age. Just cause the advice? Wait, what about all the other qualifying statements that have made before this?

Are you, I'm telling you've really latched on that there's one facet of being an old soldier. Older and wiser than their age reflects. Yes, you aren't materialistic. What is stuff? Look at our backgrounds. We have nothing. We have nothing.

I have things. I have two red squares and a phrasier toy. I have nothing. Intellectuals who love knowledge of truth, why you find your years? Maybe you felt like an outsider among other kids your age as a child, not Travis, but me and juice. I think that would describe us completely.

Sure. You craved meaningful connections. Wait, you didn't think I was an outcast among other children growing up? No, man, you were the fucking dog. You're the fucking man dog. You craved meaningful connections with people. You feel strong empathy forithy for others.

You're very interested. All right. All right. You prefer spending time at home alone. I mean, I forget about what the alone part is like, but the home part, yeah, for sure. I do, I want to meet the person that does not care deeply about anybody else, but does love to be out there

with them. Yeah, I mean, that's called a psychopath. Yeah, you mean a psychopath, like a sociopathic monster. Okay, you're often asked for your advice. Yes, okay. The next one says, you find ways to challenge the status quo. M-m-m, we don't do that. But the picture is a man simply walking around an office holding a laptop

that he's typing on, which we're doing laptop shit basically all the time. I like that. I disagree with you there. But when we started a lot of people thought white guys couldn't podcast. That's a good. We are. Here we are. You know, I'm a white beyond the white. We are.

You wise beyond our fears. Oh, isn't that isn't that more important? No fear. No fear. No fear, big dog, big Johnson. Think about it. Think about it, big Johnson. You know how to step back and see the bigger picture.

Watch. Time has proven that to be incorrect for us. I would say. Yeah, that's a good point. You scooted back. Oh, okay, yeah. You wouldn't even stand. You recognize fellow old souls when you meet them.

Hey, I know that look, that tired look in your eyes. But you don't touch it. Well shit. Because then you would explode. Okay, now I'm mad because that should have been the first thing because why am I wasting all this time trying to figure this out when I could just ask another old soul like, what do you think?

Am I, oh, that's a good point. That's a good point. This can be a service. Here's what I'd like to do. I'm gonna count to three. And then each of us is gonna say, the age that we think our soul is. I don't think, I think souls are infinite.

So I don't know. Okay Justin. I can say pretty distinct. All part of it. It's all part of the one. It's all part of the one. It's all part of the one. Wait, yeah, but you get your own part.

That's, have you seen Boss Baby? At the beginning, everybody gets their own little soul that then shoots down into a tummy. And you're saying, how long has my soul been split from the infinite? Okay. A juices, I think, pretty old soul. I think juice gets that.

I think I'm brand new. I think this is my first go. I think this is my first lap. So to speak. I think you're a Juice gives that. I think I'm brand new. I think this is my first go. I think this is my first lap. So to speak, I don't mind. I think you're a little too jaded for this to be your first lap. Again, again, again, I'm 36 years old. If it's your first lap, why aren't you more excited?

It feels like you should be a little bit more excited about what. No, Justin, you know what I mean? Maybe. I feel like Travis, I have to get you excited about things a lot. Yes. And I feel like a new soul would be like

Who so much to maybe the problem is we're confusing Griffin's personality with his soul his soul is very excited Okay, I keep him Yeah, he's down and he's way they deep down we're talking about differences with the ego the ego Right is getting in the way of the girth the soul needs to do that's exactly right Justin Thank you so what what Griffith Griffin what changes can you make in your day-to-day life so that your ego stops getting the way of the growth the soul needs to do. That's exactly right, Justin. Thank you so much. What, Griffin, what changes can you make in your day to day life so that your ego stops getting the way of the solviors? Um, I mean, kickboxing. Yep.

That's number one. I know. What, we already, what is Ag that would have been though? Who, uh, what is Ag that would have been? Constant. Hydration. Constant hydration. Hydration. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how much more hydrate I can be.

I have the worst. You could get to a cycle, a constant flow in and out. Mm. That would be awesome. Is that the system that you guys have employed aboard the nine month cruise? Yeah, we kind of have to just to keep the supply because sweat just waste it, right? We only have so much water on board.

The floors of the gym are just sponges right above the showers. They just soak it up. I'm just saying sometimes I've seen clips of this great show called Crossing Over with John Edwards. And in it, he would look at someone and be like, you used to be a Renaissance era painter, but then you got cholera and died. And then the person he's talking to is like, that feels so right.

But when I think of that, I'm like, I don't have any of that. That doesn't sound right. I don't have any of that in here. I was, you were a race car driver in the 1930s and you got big explosion and died. And I think like, that sounds fucking sick, but I'm, I can't, I'm getting nothing in there. I'm trying to tune into this shit, but there's just nothing. In a past life.

It's my first time to say that I said, well, in a past life, I was Napoleon, but then nothing between then and now. It was just Napoleon. I'm in hovering, hovering, hovering, hovering. Ooh, I like that one. That's the next Napoleon. And man is my soul disappointed. I bet.

Have big plans. But that's why I'm here to see it. Close to me. I'm a naval leader. It's in my soul. The oceans have become battlefields. For us and the Murfolk. Oh, I wasn't supposed to tell you guys they're coming.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. What? Travis? That's a huge breach of trust! Yeah, I wasn't supposed to tell you guys, I'm sorry. If we're gonna afford Travis's extravagant nine-month cruise cabin, we should probably go to the money center. It's a case. Let's go.

Is that him? Is that him, we did it. Let's go. The only way I've been able to keep in contact with my brother has been through the United States Postal Service and thank goodness they are still out there delivering the mail. Not in the United States. Not in the United States. Not in the United States. It's really nice that they do that, actually. They'll go wherever you need them to, no problem at all. But I didn't want to have to keep going to the post office to get stamps every time I need the stamps.

Well, thank goodness. stamps.com has been there to help me keep in touch with my brother. What do you need for this service? Well, what you need is a computer and you need a printer. They'll send you the scale. So you know how much you're posted, you're gonna need and you got everything you need to get started just like that

What's the benefit? Outside the convenience of being able to do it all in your home. Well, how about this? How about you get discounts like savings you wouldn't believe get huge carrier discounts up to guys This is gonna sound like I'm making up 89% off of USPS and UPS rates that are going to help your bottom line. Plus they automatically tell you your cheapest and fastest shipping options. Justin, yeah. Okay, listen, stamps.com was kind enough to sponsor us. Why are you lying about the amount that people can save?

Travis, I swear. There's no way. I swear. You would be going broke. You can take a chunk out of your mailing and shipping costs this year with stamps.com. Sign up with promo code, my brother, for a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long term commitments or contracts, just go to stamps.com.

Click the microphone at the top of the page and enter code, my brother. I want to tell you about StitchFix. Now listen. You guys hear that fucking day listener. It's me, Justin McRoy. That was that silence you heard, and I hope Rachel left it in, was my brother's squaring off in a silent showdown

about how it would have to do the only real actual work they do in a given day. There's like one minute of having to do work and they were both like, I'm not fucking. Jayman already took the first, I'm not gonna do it. We knew it wasn't gonna be you. It's so we were so sorry. It wasn't gonna be me, I was out.

We were in sort of a, it lasted long enough that I had a moment where I was like, all right, cheers. I tried to, I was actually trying to leave the room for Griffin to take it since I've been carrying Okay, but the last couple weeks. I mean I was gonna go pee But then that's the that's the showdown that we're all a little bit in that if two of them are gonna do an ad certainly I don't need to be here Stitch fix no, I want to tell you about stitch fix. Shut up because But I love stitch fix so much. I know you do, but you know who loves stitch fix more than you or I

my children We saw a baby and thought both of our stitch fix and when it oh in that grade when it comes it like they like light up about it Fashion show. Yeah, we did Baby just wore this really cute, like fuzzy, furry hoodie sweatshirt with like a sequin unicorn on it. Dots wearing a full-blown stitch face outfit to school today couldn't wait to put it on.

And the clothes that come, frankly, make all the grown-ups, who's the M. Jellis? Because they're like, I would like to wear that if it was in my size. That means you're winning at your school. Yeah, that's huge. And so if you would like to have the same drip that my children do, you're gonna who it is.

And who does it? You're gonna wanna check out Stitch Fix because the Stitch Fix stylists just get you and Stitch Fix is easy and you're gonna get closer to fit you without having to browse through stuff or go through your own stores, websites, whatever, because they have it all for you. And you're gonna tell them what kind of stuff you like to wear,

where you like to go, what your price ranges, all that kind of stuff, and they'll make those choices for you. And they'll even show you how to wear hedge throw outfits, so you just go and you get dressed up and it's amazing. So thanks, StitchFix, to just get me and to get you to try today at StitchFix.com slash my brother and you'll get 25% off when you keep everything in your fix.

That's StitchFix.com slash my brother, StitchFix.com slash my brother. Most of the plants humans eat are technically grass. Most of the asphalt we drive on is almost a liquid. The formula of WD-40 is San Diego's greatest secret. Zippers were invented by a Swedish immigrant love story. On the podcast, secretly incredibly fascinating, we explore this type of amazing stuff. Stuff about ordinary topics like cabbage and batteries and socks! Topics you'd never expect to be the title of the podcast, secretly and credibly fascinating.

Find us by searching for the word Secretly in your podcast app. And at MaximumFun.org. I'm Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington, I'm Iliak Halen, and together we are the Flop House, a long-running podcast on the Maximum Fun Network where we watch a bad movie and then talk about it. And because we're so long-running, maybe you haven't given us a chance. I get it, but you don't actually have to know anything about previous episodes to enjoy us, and I promise you that if you find our voices irritating, we've grown endearing over time. Perhaps you listened to one of our old episodes and decided that we were dumb and immature.

Well, we've been doing this a while now, we have become smarter and more mature, and generally nicer to Dan. But we are only humans, so no promises. Find the flop house on maximumfun.org or wherever you get podcasts. How about another question? I would love another question, please. Thank you, by the way, to everybody who sends in their questions. We don't say enough. Thank you, in BNBA, I'm at maximumfund.org is the address. If you need our help, we are here for you. We answer every single question. Yeah. Yeah. Always have always well. That's not true. I've recently started a new job in an office

that has an odd feature. There is a room with just a shower and a sink across from my boss's office and on the way to the break room. The restrooms are in the common area of the building, so it's not like it's an executive restroom. It would be nice to be able to go for a run over lunch and take a shower, but I never seen anyone else use it. I feel I'd be judged for getting naked in the office. Brothers, why is there a shower in a professional office? And is there a way I could use it while still being able to make eye contact with my boss when I get out?

That's from Stump by a shower site in Colorado. All of you, the most man. Yeah, I'm often distressed at there being showers at places I didn't expect them. Well, what's always fun when we do live shows in the dressing room, there's always showers, which is a great reminder that other performers are working a lot harder than we are.

Yeah, sure. Cause I've never gotten off stage like I ever do in a show like, sorry guys, let's work a little harder there, I. Yeah, sure. Because I've never gotten off stage. Like I've been doing a show like, sorry guys, let's work so hard out there. I am a grinch. Yuck, yuck, yuck, don't touch me till I've had my shower. I worked up a powerful stink out there sitting perfectly still.

You know people, you know that the chain swekers are coming off just like dripping. Get out of my fucking way. I gotta get wet, but in a different way, I gotta get a clean wet. I'm a dirty wet now. God, I always look at those things and do think though, a shower would be pretty, pre-show shower would be, this is the year where I'm gonna start bringing shampoo

and soap and towel with me to the theater when we go to do a show so I can have a nice pre-show shower just to see how the energy changes because I always feel pretty good after one. I do, I do, I am retroactively embarrassed by like, definitely for the first couple of years that we did shows every time there was a shower in the dressing room,

all three of us were like, well go Show run in here Hey kids come in here look at this. This is damn this thing a shower in the dressing room now What would kick ass what I would like to see more of theater owners of the world owners of the world. Beds in the dress. Oh, yeah. That was

a fucking tight as hell. I always see those like nap pod break room things in places where I don't really want that like a airport. But if that was backstage at a show, ooh, and I could catch a quick Paziz back there. Oh, and love a Paziz right before I show. The show is a shower. Get right with Christ before we love a person to be right before a show. This is a shower.

Get right with Christ before we go on stage to the light, the the masses. That would be so tight. Now to get to the question, I would like to say, we run into this a lot, right? Of the difference between being judged for something and

getting trouble for something. I don't think you'd get in trouble for taking a shower. It is there. Unless it's if they didn't want you to, they'd put up a sign they'd lock the door. Now that's not the same as you come out telling your hair dry,

will the other people in the office be like, they get naked. They're the fuck are you been? Yeah. They're the fuck if you're been. I think maybe you could play it mysteriously to work up a sort of like aura about the office of impressiveness where you do take a shower every day,

but you do not make a big deal out of it. Because one, they'll figure it out. People are gonna talk and that sort of organic growth is what you want from a sort of status like this. The other thing is that you will, sometimes people will be like, why is Jeremy wet? Why is Jeremy wet? But you don't want it. You do want it to continue to be somewhat oddball behavior because the last thing you want is a situation where there's a line-up.

Oh yeah, no, there's the worst case in your crocs. You know, with your towel over there like, come on, time is money. Well, this is all got a shower here. This is why it works for this is, you've earned the shower by running during your lunch time. Well, I think that in and of itself, those two things connected. If I worked in an office and every day during lunch, I'm sitting there watching like the last 10 minutes

of one TV show in the next 20 minutes of the other because I timed it out poorly. And meanwhile, like, you just described every lunch I've ever had in travel. And meanwhile, this person's out there of like jogging and then taking a shower. I'm like, yeah, of course they're showering. They earned it.

Like, yeah, they're the most incredibly responsible human being I've ever met. Are you 100% certain it's not an eyewash shower? Are you 100% certain you're not gonna be in there naked? And it's gonna be like, you're gonna hear the door slam open like, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, the battery's exploded again. What if there's a different reason nobody uses it? Like, we all used to use that shower until that

faithful day. And now, out of respect, we found out that out of that past coworker's memory. We found out that the drain just does empty into Jeff's office. Yeah. We know what, we built that way. We don't understand one out of every 20 times. It's lava that comes out.

And it's never every 20th time. Just one out of 20 times, it's lava. That's the boss's Pepsi shower. You can't use it. It's so expensive. He goes through several leaders every time he rocks it. Also the answer, the answer is pretty bad these days. Do you work in a place where the boss is like,

I'm happy to come work there. One thing is, I need a prescription shower. It is always available to me. I don't have time. I need to be, I never know what's gonna happen. And I need to be able to shower at the drop of a. And there should be stanchions and a velvet rope. And like, if there's nothing,

you're like a guard, something. I will say this, if you are nervous about this to the point where you do have to be sort of discreet, but you feel so strongly that you would like to use the shower, I think a pretty good option is you bring spaghetti for your lunch every day and you spill a lot of it on your sheet. Every day.

I'm not giving up till I figure this stuff out. Yeah, you walk by your boss's office, covered in spaghetti towards the shower. Hey, I'm gonna get it. They were gonna nod, like go ahead. And then you take the shower and you come out like, thanks boss man, close, you say close call, huh? And then you go sit down. But next day you are gonna drop spaghetti

all over yourself again, not just on your clothes. It needs to get on your skin too. Listen, can I tell you something? Yeah, Clumsy Carl, he's the clumber, he's motherfucker in this office. But his numbers are phenomenal. They all can take a lesson from this spaghetti dropping motherfucker.

I get my best thinking done during my spaghetti showers boss. And so I come up with all the big ideas. What's worse, an employee comes to you and says, can I use the shower? Or an employee comes to you and just has used the shower without asking. I feel like they're both pretty bad. The first for sure, because the first is, may I be nude or do you, or must I have, keep my stink permission to be nude permission? I mean, may I be nude or shall I keep my stink for you? Is basically the question that you're about hugely inappropriate.

What about the showers find to use, right? Every day. Well, no, what I'm saying is that's how you ask it. It's cool to use the shower, right? Yeah, but you have that's the same thing. No, no, no, it's not. It's not. It's bad eye shower.

May I shower? May I shower, daddy? Is different from the assumption of like, hey, it's cool to use the shower, right? It's cool if I use the shower. Thanks dog. Okay wait, wait, wait, wait, okay. No, drums.

Your bad suggestion has given me a better one. Okay. Why don't you start going, start talking up the showers to the other people in the office and see if you can get them to break the seal So it's like hey, do you hit the shower? Yeah, it's a shower. Hey, bud. Getting a little ripe good news. There's a shower down there

You can go check out I bet the water pressure and that motherfucker is amazing Oh, it looks like a good shower. We all shower around here, right everybody. It's cool to use the shower right daddy We all think it now But I don't like so much about the turn of phrase you use, is I can interpret it, I think at least three different ways off the top of my head, which is, is it okay to use the shower? Is it cool? Am I a cool dude?

If I shower, do you want me to shower? Do you need me to shower? Which you prefer than I be showered before we can do it? Which is better. I, hey, choose your own adventure boss. You want me? How do you want me?

I'm gonna say when I picture someone taking a shower, first of all, there's a lot of fog and steam so you can't see any of that. Yeah, good job. It's like a Netflix show. There's tasteful of fog and steam so you can't see anything. Yeah, yeah, good job. It's like a Netflix. It's like a Netflix show There's tasteful suggestion that there is privacy happening behind there. Yeah, but second of all I'm not looking at them and going like fuck that's a cool dude. Wow, that's cool man. That's a cool person in there cleaning I don't think that's the imagining Griffin. I'm saying that there is something to a

Shawshank ass, like, an act of rebellion, when you come and like the shower has been there, everyone's dreamed of using it, but no one's gonna seal it, and you're the new hot rod in town, and you break that seal and they're like, I would never, I could never have the strength of will to shower. I haven't worked in an office in a while, but I think you will run into some issues of your boss being like, that was a lot of time,

you just spent doing something that is not selling door hinges or whatever it is people do in offices. You're gonna request a phone in there. Okay. I'm gonna need a line to the shower. I think it's fucked up that I'm allowed to make pee and poop inside of my office and take company time to do it, but to shower, maybe that's what it,

you come out of the shower, bosses like, hey, did you just, and you be like, don't worry, I peed and pooped while I was doing it. Isn't that the, I know. I tried boss man. Earned them a dollar, I got paid a dime't that the, I know. I tried boss man. Earned them a dollar, got paid a dime. That's why I shit on company time. That's why shit and piss in the shower.

And the boss is shower on company dime. Oh. Hey, thanks so much for listening to our podcast. We sure had fun recording it. Yeah, it was great. I'm excited to let you know I'm going to be at Sketchfest on Sunday, February 4th doing a D&T live show with some great comedians and creators. Got Eugene Cordero, Erica Ishii, Connor Ratliffe, Danny Fernandez, and Aaron Keefe. Unfortunately,

Funches had to drop out because he got a filming gig. But, but. Can't play him in for that. Yeah, I would take that job. Yeah. Bye, suckers. Enjoy the show. We don't even think about it. We don't even cross someone. But that's going to be Sunday, February 4th, 7pm. Get your tickets on the SketchFest website.

And we'll see you there. Also letting you know we got new merch over in the merch store. There's the three brothers and the moon shirt. The hunger dice are still available designed by Everwin and 10% of all merch proceeds this month go to World Central Kitchen. Also, I want to let you know we just started adventure zone versus Dracula. The first episode is up now. Go check that out. It's very fun. Also, I stream on Twitch if you didn't, and I'm trying to grow the audience there and take that a little more seriously.

You can go to twitch.tv slash the Travis McRoy. I try to stream about three times a week, and I'll see you over there. Thank you to Montagne for using our theme song, My Life Is Better With You. Please give that one a spin. Please give that one a spin on the old Nickelodeon. Shall we wrap up with a guess?

Yes, less. Let's give them a sound shower. I thought it was a silent moment for wishes. Oh, that's a good point. Is that what we did last time? Yeah, we decided to not make sounds anymore to have actual silence for wishes. Okay. This is a chance for everybody at home to wish, and I'll switch to, okay.

But let's make this one really fast, like a three set, like a quick one, because fungalore's busy, so he can't feel like a bunch of different. Okay, here we go. Okay, really quick. One. Great. Okay, great, thank you so much.

Thanks for taking that time, and that's gonna be fun. And for real momentum killer, the silent wish to fungalore, I will have to. Tough shit, sit tough shit our endings keep getting worse and I will find the worst possible ending for this podcast If it's the last thing I do and it may be because I won't let us do the podcast anymore my name is just mech I'm Travis McRoy. I'm Griffin McRoy. It's been my brother my brother me kiss your death square on the lips You're a new list of the old episode pal. We got you. You like That's square on the lips. You already listed the whole episode, pal. We got you.

You like it? We got you to. We got you listed. I don't care if you like the end. Ha ha. So, okay. See you next week, baby. It's better, it's better with you. It's better, it's better with you.

This is true, it's better, it's better with you. It's better, it's better with you.