My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 707: Beef Me Down to Beefy Town

Episode Date: April 15, 2024

So glad you could make this hot tub meeting! It's so important to our boss, Abraham LinkedIn, to sit in a tub to discuss the Eclipse AU, how we can get people to eat more Arbys, and the poetry of Pitbull lyrics. Suggested talking points: Twogger Nostalgia, He Got Bradbury'd, In the Bull-Pit, Don't Drink Hunks in the Hot Tub, Arby's Skeptics, Tap Water is MidPalestine Children's Relief Fund: https://www.pcrf.net/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert but if there's a degree on his wall I haven't seen it. Also this show isn't for kids which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship

I could've never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like My life, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah ah

It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two. By way of you. Ah, it's better with you. Hello everybody, welcome to My Brother, My Brother, Me and Advice Show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy. Whatever, Trav Nation. It's Griffin, you know who it is. Guys, guys, Monday, Monday, the eclipse.

The previous Monday, a week, a full last week ago. The previous Monday, a week ago was the eclipse. I watched it with my children. I stared at it the whole time. Start to finish the moment it started to now. And I am so excited to say, guys, my powers have come in. Oh, Trav! Yeah. I'm so excited to say, guys, my powers have come in. Oh, Tripp! Oh, good, yeah.

I'm so proud of you! Since the eclipse, I have gotten one to 4% stronger. Cyborg juice, really, cyborg. One to 4% faster, one to 4% more invincible. That's not very big. No, that's not a large increase. He's saying the numbers, like, the presence increase. When he says powers, I think he maybe is talking about his pubes.

And it's just, it's made me- You need to get that from just better hydration. I think I'm ready to start fighting crime, saving people. Like normally, like, say I'm like doing bicep curls, right? And I'm doing like a 25-pounder. Now I'm able to do like 26 or 27. That's wild. How do you find those?

Are you just taping a one pound weight to the 25 pounder? I would say it's a lot of like washers and like safety pins that I find, some like bolts. Yeah. And like normally I could walk a mile, I mean comfortably in like, I don't know, 17, 18 minutes. I could probably do it in like 16, 45, 17, 15, somewhere in there.

Just feeling a lot faster. Like if I got shot by a bullet, I think it would take a little longer to pull my skin. Hey, Trev, were you in the path of the totality in your home? I, Justin, thank you for asking, I follow the path of totality. That's where I'm at now.

That's my mindset. He is walking the path of totality. But yeah, I was not in the path of totality in my own home, but in my in-laws' home, yes, I was. We drove up. Damn, your in-laws must be strong as fuck, dude. Yeah, yeah. But I must be strong as fuck, dude! Yeah, yeah. But I'm hoping that over time,

my powers do continue to develop and I get maybe 10% stronger over time. 10% of that. Okay. So maybe the totality path went through seven cities named Nineveh because God wanted to make his soldiers stronger. Everyone heard about this, yeah. I'm sorry, what?

There's a thing, the last eclipse. Oh, it's always so bad, doesn't it, Griffin? The totality went through seven cities called Salem. The zombies are closing around you, you just got the one pistol, you got one chain. This time, baby, we're going through Nineveh, another Bible city name, so you know what that means. I don't. The big one. what that means. The big one.

Oh, okay. The big one's coming with all the horses. I'll be able to fight the horse. And now as long as they are just a little bit stronger than I used to be, but not stronger than I am now. I've always said that about Travis. He's almost as strong as a horse. On a good day and a bad horse.

Now I did say horseman. Now I don't think the pale horse shows up just like, what up, it's actually me, I'm the horse of death. You think you 360 no-scope pestilence off of his horse, and the horse also isn't still going to be a problem? The celestial sort of like, skella horse, isn't gonna try and cause a little bit of mayhem? I think that you would get a moment of confusion

from the horse with that opening. Yeah. I would actually take out the horse first because I'm saying I would have an easier time fighting pestilence on the ground. We could have made such a better left behind. It's not even fucking funny how much better of a left behind we could have.

What's up, Jax? Do you look? You can tell me. Did you look? At the eclipse, I had glasses. I looked at it for like, I stepped outside, I stepped outside and I was like, where is it even? And then I looked right at it

without the special stuff on me, which I did eventually then put on, but it doesn't feel good to do that. What's it like to have a second blind spot, Griffin? It actually perfectly hit the first one. Okay. Yeah, yeah. You always kind of have a little bit

of an eclipse going on. Yeah, I'm always, I'm always, not quite totality, but it's really hard. Charlie came up to me and said, guess what, daddy, at the next eclipse, I'll be 30. And I said, fuck. Ha ha ha ha ha! That can't be right.

The next eclipse somewhere, they're always happening somewhere. Wait what? No. That's not right either, Travis. I mean from someone's perspective in space, the moon is in front of the sun all the time, if you think about it that way.

That's so sad. Whoa. I mean, that's life, man. That's beautiful. But aren't we lucky to be here on this podcast and on this planet here together to talk about the world. This is a device show.

And we have, do you guys, I started thinking about it during the eclipse. Do you guys remember, I guess it was like eight or nine years ago now. Probably not then. During the, no, you'll remember, during the last eclipse, we like fucked up the audio really bad and talked like we were from a parallel dimension

and we changed the album art. So it was like negative. There's no way we did all that work. I think that was a dream, Justin. I think you're dreaming this. Okay guys, head on out to the boneyard. I see both of you all furiously Googling. I'm trying to figure it out.

Rachel, if you could play a clip of that audio right here so my brothers can hear, that would be great. The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Frankly, it's weird seeing anybody use Twagger for anything other than just like complimenting each other and being like really, really nice to each other, which is of course in this world and I don't know why I said in this world, but in this world, just sort of the way that everyone uses Twagger. How did you guys?

To be fair though, President O'Connell has never been a traditional president. I mean, after he broke the country up into eight different countries, at that point, using Twagger to make announcements isn't really that big a deal, if you think about it. So boys, the question on everybody's mind is, how did you spend the sun period?

Locked in a closet by bully children. I literally just said it. Okay, obviously Uncle Dane is on one of his cantankerous rants, Dane's drops that he does. Dane's veins. Listen, I'll be the first one to go against the grain here Against sort of the cult against the against one that this is one of Danes grains where I'm going against it and sort of rubbing Up against sort of because I know everybody's always saying how great Millennials are are I'll be the first one to say that

I think there's some issues here. I'll be and I'll be the first one to highlight those whoa Yeah downtown Dane. That's so weird. Like, I can't even get on board with you, Dane, because like, think about all the things that millennials have saved. They've saved the napkin industry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They've saved the housing industry. They've saved the magazine industry.

They've saved everything. This is, this is, this might be a weird thing to say, because we're literally just like saying things that happened today on this like, you know, very special day where the sun came out. But I, and we're just saying the truth, right? But I, for some reason, I feel this thing in my gut where like this bit isn't working. Did we keep it up for the whole episode? Memory serves, everyone hated it.

So it lasted at least five minutes, I would say. It may have been for the whole episode. Are you guys still not finding any evidence of this? No, man, I think you're being, I think you're being Mandela'd pretty hard. You're Mandela'ing yourself, a self Mandela. The sun shines on our dark planet. Yeah, no, okay, that was a long time ago.

The sun shines on our dark planet. Yeah, no, okay, that was a long time ago. The sun shines on our dark planet. Yes, that was the episode. Justin, Travis, and Dane are back to talk about the few blissful moments of sun our world received on this blessed rotation. Oh yeah, man. This is from an alternate universe in which Justin is the oldest brother.

Travis is the youngest brother and Griffin doesn't exist. Instead... We used to be way funnier than we are now. Instead of voicing a completely new character named Uncle Dane... Cool, man. Instead of the eclipse that... This is on our Wikipedia page, so thank you to whoever writes this. Instead of the eclipse that occurred on is on our Wikipedia page, so thank you to whoever writes this. Instead of the eclipse that occurred on this day

in the real world, in this AU, the sun shone on this earth for one day out of every 100 years. Uncle Dane was locked in a closet all day by- Yeah. Carl children. Yeah. Yeah, man. You got Brad buried real hard.

These are great. Seven years is the statute of limitations where you can laugh at your own jokes as if they're fresh and new. We're all new skin cells at this point. I have no fucking idea. There is not one iota of this griffin that was that griffin. Everyone has translucent skin, tentacles, and 18 inch eyes.

There is no light and therefore no agriculture. Everyone eats rocks. The president of the United States, the United States is sliders actor Jerry O'Connell and the United States has been split into eight separate countries. The device most analogous to a computer is called a com box and it heads up to a monitor analog

called a vision cube or sight cube, which becomes painfully hot. The national sport is competitive Yu-Gi-Oh! This is unhinged. I can't believe all of those things happened in one episode of this. I had to read all that because you guys had no memory of it.

I know I don't. It was completely new to you. Yeah, cool. All right. I mean, we make a lot of, we make a lot of shit, Juice. A lot of shit. I was, did you find the cover yet? The cover is terrible

No Everyone hated the cover. That's the one thing I do remember is that the cover was broadly despised Yeah, actually when I googled this the top result is a reddit post from three days ago saying why didn't why didn't they do that? I get the answers because we forgot completely and forgot about it That would have been a hell of a thing to return to but since none of us remembered it Why didn't they do that again? The answer is because we forgot completely and entirely about it. That would have been a hell of a thing to return to, but since none of us remembered it, probably none of you remembered it either,

would have been quite a thing. So my advice, don't dwell on the past with previous eclipses. And I got more advice too. Well, but first, I have... Oh my God. It feels good to see the world get in, Mr. Worldwide in the bull pit. Get the world get in Mr. World,

get the world gets in Mr. Worldwide. So sometimes Pibble does this thing, Griffin, where when he is singing, he somehow also interrupts himself to announce his title. That's cool. Either Mr. 305, Mr. Worldwide. With a reel to reel, you gotta have two reels going and you record one reel, then you play it back.

Yeah, but we're here. We're not talking about that. We're talking about the bull pit. We're in the bull pit. Now, you guys have both numerous times in your life told me that you consider yourself to both be experts in the lyrics of Pitbull, correct? I don't know fucking anything about this, dude.

No, I've heard you, Griffin, you sometimes go on and on about how you know every Pitbull lyric off the top of your head. I don't know this fucking guy. We are here to test it. Here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna put a minute on the clock. You're each gonna get a turn,

and you're gonna have to fill in the blank of these lyrics. And here's the rule, you can't pass. You cannot pass. Why? You have to fill in the blank of these lyrics. And here's the rule, you can't pass. You cannot pass. Why? You have to guess. Why can't I pass? Why can't I pass?

Because I think you'd pass. You legally can't, you can't come. Because I only pulled five for each of you, and if you pass, we'll be done before the 60 seconds is up. If I have to actually- I'm just saying, you can't come to my house and make me make jokes. I will. Like, I can pass on anything in this show ever whenever I want to. I gotta say- And you guys can't do to my house and make me make jokes. Like I can pass on anything in this show

ever whenever I want to. I gotta say. And you guys can't do anything about it. One thing first is that if I got paid attention, you Travis the V can't plunge that deep, my man. Oh, gotta get one more button. Gotta get one more button. I gotta get another button there.

I gotta cover up the shield? Seeing too much of your chest power. Oh man. All right. I don't, the button's not even broken in. The button hole's still tight as new. Hold on. Tight as new. Tight as new, man. I right. I don't, the button's not even broken in. The buttonhole is still tight as new. Hold on. Ah!

Tight as new! Tight as new, man. I gotta get it. Ah, there we go. That's just, that's horrible. It's tight as new. Okay, who wants to go first? Flip a coin?

Griffin does. Oh yeah, man. Okay. Dying for it. Dad told me Griffin wanted to go first. Yeah. Now Griffin, your time will start when I finish the first lyric, okay?

You ready? Oh, it's timed. Yeah, yeah. So I have to make the jokes, so I have to make the jokes extra fast. 60 seconds on the clock, you ready? Yeah. Okay, here we go. What I'm involved with is deeper than the blank. Money. Masons.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. This biggity boy is a? Basketball. Biggity dog's a... Basketball. Diggity dog. Ask for money and get advice, huh? Ask for advice, get... Laid. Money twice.

Just as you ate me, don't hate me. As a matter of fact, you should thank me. Even if you don't, you're welcome, blank. You're welcome, blank. You're welcome, little baby. Yankees. I told her, wanna ride out? And she said, yes. We didn't go to blank, but I got blank.

We didn't go to bed. We didn't go to Hawaii, but I got laid. Didn't go to church, but I got blessed. So that was zero for five from Griffin. Really good, Griffin. What did you fucking expect? I thought you might get one. Really good, Griffin.

Really good try. Thank you. Okay, Justin, you're up. Are you ready? Justin, you feel warmed up? You feel ready to go? Yeah, I feel like I know all these. Okay. Now give me that sweet, that nasty, that blank.

That candy bag. Gucci stuff. Not a goon or a god, I'm a blank. True blaster. Monster. Mommy got an ass like a donkey with a monkey, look like blank. Charles.

King Kong. I'ma make sure that your peach feels blank. Fuzzy and warm. Peachy. Your man just left. I'm the plumber tonight. I'll check your pipes. Oh, you the blank.

Princess Peach. Healthy type. Oh God, Pitbull! So Justin also zero for five. Pitbull! I feel like I would get the next five right though. Oh, now that you're in the flow state. Now that we know the pattern.

Yeah, for sure. Now that you're in the flow state. Yeah, exactly. There's a playfulness to Pit that I didn't appreciate. An abstract nature that I celebrate. Make your peach feel peachy is pretty fucking good stuff actually, Mr. Bull.

Not a goon or a god, I'm a monster. I want that on my tombstone. Not a goon. Not a god. There's something about the lyric that I've been trying to decipher. Mommy got an ass like a donkey with a monkey, look like King Kong.

No, Travis, we granted you this one game to talk about Pitbull. We can't explore the game. It can't be a launching pad to you pontificating about Pitbull. I'm sorry. We told you, you need to contain that energy. And it seems like this is a good container for it. Though I will, I just wanna say one last thing

here in the bull pit. Ask for money and get advice. Ask for advice, get money twice. Sounds like it's straight out of poor Richard's Almanac and it makes me so happy. It really does, there's a sageness to it. I would take a second Poor Richard's Almanac written by Pitbull. Yes.

Poor pictures on the back. With Forward by Khaled, that would be the dream. We the best book. Look at that. I'm going to a convention soon for work in Columbus. Book. I'm going to a convention soon for work in Columbus. And the hotel my company is putting me up in has a pool. Is it weird to hit up the hot tub after a long day on the trade show floor?

What do I do if I run into other convention goers or worse co-workers who are staying in the same hotel? I want to take advantage of the free amenities, but I don't know what to do if hot tubbing turns into a networking session. Yep. That's from corporate cutie in a two piece suitie. Me? You're talking to three eighties.

Three eighties dudes right here. Three eighties boys, yeah. You're talking to three eighties boys. We came up in the eighties. We're gonna, I don't see what that has anything to do with this situation. Oh, you don't Griffin? You don't see what eighties business culture might with this situation. Oh, you don't Griffin? You don't see what 80s business culture might have to do with hot cooking and networking?

We were not boss babies. We were not involved with the 80s culture of the 80s. You weren't. Maybe you were out here Justin asking for money and getting advice. I was out here asking for advice and getting money twice. Getting money twice, yeah.

60s babies would have been the ones who would have been in the work culture, I feel like, during the 80s, Travis. So this is a flawed concept. I was networking at seven. I don't know what your time, that's how I got to where I am today. That's true.

Always on his grind. This is such a great question because we go to a lot of hotels when we- I don't wanna brag. Tour. We go to- We stay at places we- I don't wanna brag. Tour. We go to- We stay in places when we're not at home. I don't wanna brag, but we don't have homes

in any city. In every city in the country. In Vancouver. And so a lot of the time I'll go, especially if I'm on tour flying solo, and I'll see a hot tub or a pool, but mostly a hot tub and think like, ooh, I never bring trunks, like never bring trunks.

I never ever bring trunks. What? Oh, you don't bring trunks, okay. I thought you meant you don't bring trunks to the hot tub. You meant you don't drink trunks on the trip. I don't drink hunks on the trip and I don't bring trunks to the hot tub. You don't drink hunks in the hot tub.

That's rule number one. Unless you've been extremely well compensated. I feel like I want that life, but I also feel that I can't, I'm not there for the right reasons. I'm here for business. I'm putting on a kick-ass show tonight at the theater. And then to come back and get in the hot tub

makes me feel like I am trying to pretend to be like I'm in Whitesnake or something. And you are not, and Griffin is not, this is not an imagined scenario because we try to get hotels near the place where we're doing the show. So ostensibly, there will be other people in the hotel who also have just participated in the show.

But maybe in a different way than Griffin has. But they will come in to see Griffin with his hair hanging down in front of his eyes and just trying to sweat the show out of his body. Just a towel around my neck, always. Yeah, just huffing in eucalyptus or whatever he needs to get his instrument right. The geometry that English put on the power dynamics ball

by then a hot tub is unthinkable, it's unnavigable. You, okay, boys. Hope you had a great time tonight, like no fucking way, dude. Boys, I love you very much, but once again, I'm gonna say Hope you had a great time tonight. Like, no fucking way, dude. Boys, I love you very much, but once again, I'm gonna say maybe you guys are coming at this from maybe a more socially anxious direction. Absolutely, Travis, I know no other direction.

Yes, Griffin is one direction if One Direction, the band, was incredibly socially anxious. And that was kind of the hook of their music. Because here's the thing, boys, there's two different kinds of networking at these events. Okay, okay, yes, yes. There is the networking that happens when you're at the event, right, the business networking.

But then you have the, I'd play golf with them networking. Okay. You have the like, let's get a big steak dinner networking. That kind of networking that the like, let's get a big steak dinner networking. That kind of networking that's like, not only is this person fun in the boardroom, but maybe, I don't know, board game room. I wanted to make a plan, but you get what I mean. They wanna hang out with you outside of that.

That's when you're making the connections, man. Yeah. It's a good time to get, if you're with other peers, Hot Tub is a very vulnerable place to make a human connection. You know what I mean? This is the time on Survivor when you're all enjoying a meal together.

You don't have to play the game. You can form a real human bond. You know what I mean? And that's why you come in playing the game while all these other Chuckleheads aren't playing the game. And now you've got, you know how you win at Monopoly? You're the only one playing. That's right, solo Monopoly,

while everyone watches you play Monopoly. It's the coolest thing you can do. It's when you're in the hot tub with the CEO of LinkedIn and you. It's just you and the CEO of LinkedIn. And there's no tricks. Abraham Lincoln is very good, Travis, like you. There's no tricks, there's no weapons.

It's just the two. Band to band, band and cause up. Skill against skill alone, you know? It's just the, like you. There's no tricks, there's no weapons. It's just the two. Just man to man, man to man. Skill against skill alone, you know? It's just the two of you. There's no power dynamics. Either one of you could choke the other one just as easily. So let's talk. Can we just talk? You're not the boss, I'm not the boss.

We're both in the tub. That's what you say too, as you slide into the hot tub. You say, let's acknowledge that either one of us could choke each other out just as easily. So let's just talk. I think there should be a sign up at every hotel hot tub. That says the hours of like maybe just 10 to 11 p.m. is quiet, like no talking.

No talking in this hot tub. It's just a place for tired people with sore bones, tired from a day of, tired from an hour of kick-ass alt-comedy. You need to just soak their bones, but not have any kind of, not have any kind of. You can't talk, I think it's illegal if the person is contained in some sort of vat with you.

If you are part of a meal, a soup that's being prepared, you can't talk because I can't get out of it. I'm a prisoner. I can't leave. There is no way to easily remove yourself from a hot tub that isn't very clearly like, well, this person started talking, so I left. Imagine if the person across from you is like, well, so tell me partner, how do you earn your money?

And I'm like, ugh. They just lift themselves out of the hot tub. Or worst yet, it's one of those big ones where there's only stairs on one side, and you start talking, They just lift themselves out of the hot tub. Or worst yet, it's one of those big ones where there's only stairs on one side, and you start talking, and they're just like trudging through the hot tub swamp to walk up the stairs. And it's definitely gonna be with me like a half flop.

Yeah, and a roll out. Yeah, because I try to get some of the water off because I forgot my towel. So just rolling on the ground to try to get the moisture off. So marketing? And advertising? The ideal for me is doing this in the Japanese style because in Japan I did do a couple hot springs.

There's a trade-off there in that it is usually completely quiet, especially if there is a sort of language barrier situation is extremely quiet, but also your wiener is out. And so there's two. Extremely quiet, extremely nude. Extremely quiet, extremely nude, but extremely quiet. Which would be a weird way to advertise

like an exotic dance place where like, yeah, they're nude as hell and completely silent. And here, there's no sound. No music, no coughing. Nothing, totally chill, totally nude. Dude sneezed in here last week and it wrecked the whole fucking vibe of this nude erotic establishment.

Here's, okay, question asked her. Here's a little tip. You can look really good in this scenario. You need a third party there to be overly chavvy, overly talkative, trying too hard. And then you make some kind of like eye contact with the boss of LinkedIn and you do like a, oh, this guy, kind of look at him.

That's all you gotta do. And now the CEO of LinkedIn is like, right? Yeah, working too hard over here. In the hopes of making this more universal, I should also mention that we are, of course, answering this question from the perspective of three white cisgender men. Good point.

And I would say that I never get into a hot tub if someone's already in it, because they're gonna see me, a dude, and they're gonna think, oh, oh, oh, this fucking guy. This guy's not gonna have anything good. Yeah, for sure. Especially if there are people in the hot tub who are clearly in there, they know each other already,

and they're the only ones in the hot tub. The idea of me being like, and now here's that third heat. Do you guys like to play? Yeah! Also, juice. You guys checked out that 1.6 update or what? Where are you going? Hey, come back.

Let's talk about crypto. You talk about crypto. I hate to butt in, but I, my blockchain brethren, but I have a rather exciting, don't get up. No, you're fine, you're fine, don't get up. I got Oztie. Got Oztie. Can I ask you guys a question?

Always. When you picture the CEO of LinkedIn in your head, does he have like cables for hair and like cyberpunk like sunglass implants on his eyes that slide in and like a duster? I imagine a man. Like a sawed off shotgun and his like deck. Like that's what I envision.

Okay. Like a real- You went for kind of like a cyberpunk post-apocalyptic thing. A real street samurai. But I imagine that he's the CEO of LinkedIn. like a real street samurai. He's the CEO of LinkedIn. He's the nexus through which all that shit. I went a different way

because I did say Abraham Lincoln to myself. So then I did pick Abraham Lincoln, but I pictured it in like one of the pre-cock vats from Minority Report. I was about to say that's the other option. He's floating in goo and just like impulses are. Linked into everything. Yeah.

Like just cables running off in the goo. The goo is transcending thought. So that way at any given time, you could be like, Abraham, Abraham, I need somebody to fill in for, and he's like, here's Todd Perkins resume. Get him. How about, I just had a good idea. What if the next wave of like CEO peacocking

is granting yourself like superhuman abilities, but you can only do- Biohacking. Biohacking, but you can only do it with the resources within your company. Oh. So your specific super abilities. That's so fucking good, Justin.

Your super abilities are linked to whatever. So the CEO of LinkedIn has access to like, he knows your entire history. He can tell like everybody, anybody he sees, he can tell who they work for, you know what I mean? Oh my God, that's huge. Just a hug that they have. Fucking.

It's like, oh, juggling, huh? Right, like that would be incredible. But no, I think Justin's suggesting your cyber persona is aesthetically, at the very least, influenced by the business that you conduct. For example- And aesthetically and the powers of- Yes, the CEO of some pharmaceutical company

would be like a David Hyde Pierce in the Osmosis Jones. Yes, emitting different medicines from their- Just a big pillde Pierce in the osmosis Jones. Yes Emitting different medicines from there just a big pill of armored man. I'm their skin shoots and the CEO Ford can transform into a truck If you need that's really cool. I love that doesn't makes that okay, Trav No, it doesn't make sense. I'm open to notes. Yeah, go on It has to be a height he could just make cars extremely well out of anything. You know what I mean? Like Ford knows how to make- That's a fun limitation that you've just suddenly put on this wonderful worldview.

Ford knows how to make cars. They don't know how to turn people into cars. So he would just do what his company- No, he can turn into a car. Maybe it was a truck first who turned into a man. Yeah. No, you're not- That's who I would want to lead my car business. Is like somebody who used to be a truck.

Knows what cars want. The abilities have to be mundane. So the CEO of Ford is just, he becomes the best at making cars. He spits gasoline. Out of anything. Like he's getting cars out of whatever. Now Justin, let me throw this out as an idea. Individual hot tubs.

Single person hot tubs. It's like a two foot circle. That's cool. And it's like a two foot circle and it's four feet deep. God, we're getting rich this weekend. I know, right? You just stand in it, right? There's enough room to sit and maybe you can put them

in a beehive kind of S thing, or maybe they're just spread out around the pool with enough room in between so no one could talk to each other. I can't stop thinking about the anime of super CEOs. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about it. I do love your field of, I do love that you walk onto the first floor

and you look by the pool of the hotel and you just see a row of heads on the ground as people have submerged into their own private hot tub like popsicle molds. Yes. It's all great stuff. It's all great stuff. They could be in the same world. We don't have to limit ourselves.

We can have favorite CEOs and individual hot tubs in the same world. Yeah, they recharge in their individual hot tubs. Yeah, there we go. That makes perfect sense to me. Yes, thank you. You can't network. These people can't network.

They're too powerful. They're connected to a network, right? Yeah, a network. Exactly. It's a physical network, These people can't network. They're too powerful. They're connected to a network. Yeah, a network. It's a physical network, yeah. Hey, listen. I think that was maybe the least helpful. And we set new standards every so often of least helpful answer we've ever given someone.

Just draw a nice bath. I've done that before. Go to a hotel, see hot tub, think, oh, those power dynamics though. And then just draw a nice hot bath and slip on into that instead. It's for you, it's nude and quiet. What more could you ask for?

Plus you can watch cool videos on your iPhone while you do it. No problem. No problem. And if you have a need, a physical need. Justin Tyler McElroy. You can do it right there, no problem. No problem.

You can't shit in a Hot Tub, man. You can't shit in a hot tub, man. You shouldn't shit in the hot tub. But in your room. No, you shit out the side of the hot tub like a genteel, refined human being. That's why I always- You raise yourself up to the side. That's why the baggies are there, folks. Hey, listen, let's take a break and go to the main room.

Is that okay? Yeah. That would be fine. Yeah. ["It's Better With You"] I only have Bombas socks. Okay. And I don't like to brag, no, I do like to brag about this one. But you have other clothes too, right?

No, so all my other clothes, I've sort of stitched together out of Bombas socks. That explains so much. Yeah, it's sort of stitched together out of bombas socks. That's like so much. Yeah, it's nice, it's great, it feels good. And I haven't known the touch of moisture in so long, cause it just gets wicked away. Like moisture's afraid of me. Like as you're trying to take a drink,

your clothes are pulling the moisture away from your mouth? No, like my mouth still gets plenty wet, but the rest of me, the bombas socks sort of wick away. I'll tell you, a really delightful day for me was when I got rid of all of my old, kind of fucked up socks to make room for all these beautiful bombas. Yes, that is a treat.

It is a really nice day, and it's spring cleaning time. Make that difference in your life with these comfortable ass socks. Make that change. They have, it's not just that they are, that they get the moisture away. What do they do? They have arch support in the sock.

They have honeycomb arch support. Whoa. They have anti-blister tabs and cushioned foot beds that feel like little pillows for your feet. Okay, I'm so glad you said that, because the current socks I'm wearing have ProBlister tabs. Oh, Trav.

And that, I knew that when I bought them too. And I don't know why I finished the purchase. You gotta get those off your feet. They also have the one purchased, one donated mission, where every time you buy socks, or they also have tees or underwear, which honestly, I should probably just go for those instead of cutting up socks to make t-shirts and underwear.

But whenever you buy one, you also donate essential clothing to someone facing homelessness. They've donated over 100 million clothing items. What's that? Army has received a lot of garments from Bompas over the years. Oh really, oh that's awesome. Yeah, it genuinely is great.

I love my Bompas socks. It's one of those things where like, once I figured it out, like this is, oh I love my Bombas socks. It's one of those things where once I figured it out, like this is, oh, these are my socks now. And then that part of my life was just kind of squared away in the best possible way. And you can live that life also. Get comfy this spring and get back with Bombas. Head over to bombas.com slash my brother

and use code my brother for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash my brother and use code mybrother for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com slash mybrother and use code mybrother at checkout. Here at Rocket Money, we believe in one central core idea. Ask for money, get advice. Yes. Ask for advice, you get money twice. That's so good.

Because here at Rocket Money, we're not just gonna give you new money. We're gonna let you keep your money. Because we're gonna maybe send you a message when you make a big weird purchase to be like, hey, that was a big weird purchase, Travis. Are you sure about this? Is that, did you make that purchase?

Did someone steal your car? Why would you buy? I love getting those. Justin, this, people, I get this message sometimes, people don't normally spend this amount here. Is this cool? Yeah, are you normal? Is this the right thing?

Is everything cool? Yeah, and I'm like, unfortunately, yeah. It's good to get that pretty effective. Yeah. Yes, that was me, but not just that, but also like, you know, like, hey, do you remember when you signed up for a free trial of that thing for a week,

and you were like, told yourself, like, I'm definitely gonna cancel that, but then you remembered that you had ADHD. And by remembered, I mean completely forgot to cancel it and you've been paying for it for two years. Let us at Rocket Money help you cancel that. I have three different kids drawing apps that I had somehow subscribed to.

It was costing me like 25 bucks a month. So I, and Rocket Money was like, hey. So I appreciate Rocket Money. It has saved me a tremendous amount of money already. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings.

And they have over five million users that have saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features. It's important to note, not only do they say like, hey, you're signed up for this subscription, maybe you've forgotten and maybe wanna cancel it,

they will help you go through the steps to cancel it, because sometimes that can be a whole thing all on its own. You can cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash my brother. That's rocketmoney.com slash my brother. One more time, rocketmoney.com slash my brother. It's Webby season. Hi, I'm Sequoia Holmes, host of the Black People Love Paramore podcast.

And we are nominated for a Webby for the episode where I interviewed Hayley Williams. In case you're unfamiliar, Black People Love Paramore is a podcast delving into the common and uncommon interests of Black people in order to help us feel more seen. We would love your vote to help us win this Webby. Please take a second and go over to the Black People Love Paramore podcast social media accounts, and you can find them at BPLBpod across all social media platforms. Hit the link in bio and vote for Black People Love Paramore. Hi, I'm Travis McElroy. And I'm Teresa McElroy.

And we're the host of Schmaners. We don't believe that etiquette should be used to judge other people. No, on Schmaners we see etiquette as a way to navigate social situations with confidence. So if that sounds like something you're into, join us every Friday on Maximum Fun, wherever you get your podcasts. I want to munch squad. You look really worried, Justin. Welcome to munch squad, the podcast within a podcast, profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating. I felt like I was rushing your guys' tempo. Oh, see, I thought that, we were behind.

I thought we were tracking, yeah. Okay, maybe it's a lag thing. Do we wanna practice it? Okay. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Ow. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Yeah.

Yeah, no, it's the lag, it's the lag. Maybe we should keep, we should go at it a couple more times. We should do a remake of Whiplash over Discord. Yeah. That wasn't my, sorry, no, you go. Sorry, you go. That wasn't my, what?

What were you? Slap yourself. Tonight. Slap yourself now for me. If JK Sims didn't say it like that, slap yourself. Slap yourself. Was that JK If JK Simms said it like that, slap yourself. Was that JK Simms in the room with us? May I continue?

Yeah, please, please. Thank you. Go right ahead. It's me, JK Simms. Yeah, see? Yeah. Go right ahead with your munch squad. JK, JK.

JK, JK. Arby's is turning skeptics into fans with free sandwich month this April. Huh. This story was released on April 2nd, cause Arby's wants you to know they're not fucking with me. No, no. This story is gonna sound like it is.

I also think it's wild to have a thing that's happening in April and not announce it till we're in April. It's important, Trav, because this is a big program. No, this is what I'm saying. Why not announce it then in March? I guess, yeah, but then they would have thought that if it started on April 1st that it might be a joke. You know what I mean?

This April, Arby's has an offer too good to resist for both diehard fans and skeptics and everyone in between. Are there a lot of Arby's skeptics out there? I don't believe Arby's exists. Griffin, can I, may I? Please, yeah. Whether guests are longtime supporters

or roast beef doubters, Arby's is aiming to end the quote, who actually eats at Arby's debate with a new month long offer, free sandwich month. What? Arby's wrote in a fucking press release, Arby's is aiming to end the who actually eats at Arby's debate.

Yeah, you don't see it in a lot of press releases. Now, do a lot of people think our shit tastes like dirty dog shit Yes, yeah, but it doesn't It doesn't though and I know that we seem like we're going bankrupt and like no one even eats here But guys some people do they it's We have the meat we promise we really have the meat so much They're giving away... We have the meat, we promise. We really do.

They have the meat so much, they're giving the meats away. We have too many meats. They're saying, please, take them. Please believe us, it's good meats. Please? We have a lot of them and they're good meats. We tried our best. You guys like meats?

We've made the sandwiches as big as your frail human arms can hold. If we made them any bigger, if you guys were fucking stronger, we could give you even more meat. I would say that more than any fast food company I could think of, Arby's has tried the hardest to be like, is this what you want?

We're trying, we, please. Nobody else is doing recipe sandwiches. We don't have any competition left. Is this what you want? With four free online sandwich redemptions throughout April, free sandwich month gives Arby's lovers the perfect chance to enjoy their go-to order or further explore the menu while also providing Arby's skeptics with an opportunity to put their Arby's beef to rest once and for all.

So throughout April, you're gonna get four coupons. Now, and then you get a free sandwich deal loaded into your Arby's rewards account. So this is for Arby's skeptics who are willing to be like, okay, I'll sign up for your rewards program. I think your sandwiches are fucking disgusting, but I would love your newsletter sent to my inbox. I am trying to earn enough points for that free koozie.

Yeah. With this deal, Arby's is doubling down on its sandwiches. Yeah. You writing fans, yeah, it's either that or the Jemoka shit. Yeah, man, I, what are you? We think our napkins are the best. Horsey sauce with this deal, Arby's is doubling down on sandwiches.

And what better time for Arby's skeptics to give the brand another shot than when they could try it for free, not once, but four times. So, okay. That's a lot of free Arby's. Arby's, I understand that promising more sandwiches is more enticing.

But saying, we're gonna change your mind, and maybe the first sandwich won't do it, and maybe the second sandwich won't do it, and maybe you'll eat the third one, and you won't like that one either. But give it a fourth chance, and maybe by the fourth sandwich, I don't know, you'll acclimate to it.

The number of fundamental structural changes to the whole Arby's model system, everything that would need to change in order for me to become a returning customer of that business, it's so vast. The thing would be unrecognizable by the time I was done with it. The curly fries can stay those fuck, absolutely.

I need the sandwiches smaller and more interesting. Can I tell you- Griffin, Griffin, you, both of you, but more you, are so high up on your fucking throne over there. Over in Biden's backyard, where all the cuisine of the world gathers at your feet and gives their greatest to you. Arby's is mid here.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, Arby's is mid. By the way, this week, Charlie told me that she wanted me to buy canned water, liquid death. I said, why, honey?? She said tap water is mid Man the next gin alpha can do no wrong, man Yeah, dog water baby, it's dog water. It ain't poison and it ain't Baja Blast, it's mid.

Depending on where you are in the country, it can also be toxic. Lower than mid. Low to mid, low to mid. Low to mid at best, yeah. Low to mid at best. What I never expect, when I woke up this morning, what I did not expect is by, in some point of the day,

to feel, for Arby's, the emotion that I would label sympathy. Yeah. Right. And here is why. We have been privy to a lot of press releases on MUNTSquad, a podcast within a podcast, that are usually like, check us the fuck out, our food artistry has unveiled a new level of fry technology.

The boys in the lab are at it again. Yeah. Meanwhile, Arby's is over here going, please, please just come in. Just come in. Just give us a shot. Just try, if you would just, we're giving you the sandwich. For sandwiches. All you have to do,

all you have to do. The sandwich is the whole. For sandwiches. All you have to do is eat them. Please. This isn't like a free sample at Sam's Club, right? Because what this business trucks in is sandwiches. This would be as though you went to Sam's Club and they were like, if you will let us give you four microwaves. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

And then at the end of that, you decide how you feel about our business. Yes. Yeah. Then we can review end of that, you decide how you feel about our business. Then we can reveal. We can still remain unmoved. That's the tragic thing for Arby's here. There's going to be a lot of people who eat four free Arby's sandwiches

and at the end of that are like, yeah, I don't like how they make me feel. I don't like how I feel after. I wanna give, this is a quote that I wanna give it due respect. It's from Ellen Rose, who's Arby's chief marketing officer. Now, what I like about Ellen Rose, that I can say pretty certainly,

even though I don't know Ellen personally, is that Ellen, I'm guessing at some point, had to stand up in a meeting and say, all right, y'all, listen, I think it's time. We've been putting it off for a bit. I think it's time we've been putting it off for a bit. I think it's time for us to publicly admit that not a lot of people like our sandwiches. In fact, there's some people that actively dislike them

who haven't even tried them and it's time to address it. In fact, I would go so far as to say, there are people who believe no one actively eats here. Yeah, yeah. So we're gonna try to disprove that. During free sandwich month, we're gonna try to disprove that during free sandwich month We're putting our money where our mouth is with our biggest rewards promotion today. Actually, you're putting no money where the beef goes Putting money we're taking money

From where your mouth is. Yeah, you're putting beef in the mouth and nothing and nothing's coming out This executive should have to go Cow to cow and tell them hey, so You're not gonna like this next part But also we're going to just give this stuff away and people are gonna talk about how yucky it is Anyway head on in there. Arby's sandwiches are so delicious. Which you think every cow thinks, I hope I'm not an Arby's one. Which is why free sandwich month is the perfect opportunity

for any skeptics out there to try to the sandwiches they've been eyeing. We're so confident that our sandwiches will turn even the biggest Arby's disbeliever into a fan that we're willing to give them four free trials throughout the month of April. Guys, it gets worse. To prove that free sandwich month is changing minds,

Arby's is also putting four skeptics to the test with the Arby's Try Detector, where each participant will be strapped into biometric scales as they try free Arby's sandwiches to see how they truly feel. Now we're fucking talking. Keep an try free Arby's sandwiches to see how they truly feel. Now we're fucking talking. Keep an eye on Arby's social accounts to watch this experiment unfold.

Yes, absolutely. Peel back my liberty, Mama, and feed me Arby's. I will hide no seekers from you, Mama, when you put me in this tri-detector. What, what, what biometric is there in my body that tracks how much I like Arby's? Travis, it's called- I want it surgically removed! That metric- That system disconnected! That metric, Travis, is called your blood pressure. That's what it's called.

I can look at that and be like- Sir, his yum factor is spiking. We need to put him on special medicine. His Arby's Yum Factor is through the roof. It's too delicious. So that's what Arby's is doing. They're giving- They're giving people four free Arby's just to try to make them say, you know what it is? I'm gonna, I wanna put forward this. It's not that you're an Arby's just to try to make them say, you know what it is? I'm going to, I want to put for this.

It's not that you're an Arby's skeptic. It's that you currently have a highfalutin opinion of yourself as a human being. And you don't see yourself as a person who goes to Arby's. Okay. Arby's is not changing your opinion of them. Arby's is changing your opinion of yourself. Oh my God. You eat four Arby's sandwiches in a month.

You get to the end of that month, you're like, well, fuck, I guess I'm the kind of person that eats at Arby's is changing your opinion of yourself. Oh my God. You eat four Arby's sandwiches in a month. You get to the end of that month, you're like, well, fuck, I guess I'm the kind of person that eats it. Arby's. Yeah, it's been institutionalized at that point. I have been conditioned. It's been internalized. So when I picture myself, I now picture myself inside an Arby's.

I, do you think that Arby's executives somewhere in the world just stopped to tape and they're like, they got us? Ha ha! I want Arby's to know it's not the quality of the food. Like when I, I get, I've gotten Arby's maybe a couple times in the last few years on a road trip usually. And it's not the, it's not the flavor of the food.

Again, your curly fries. To the Bible Belt through middle America, away from your coastal palace. Yes, exactly. The curly fries, fuck. It's called White Castle, Justin. It's not called Coastal Palace. The beef tastes like pretty good

and you guys do a pretty good job with it. You have the meat. After I eat it, I feel so bad. I have a friend that I know is gonna sound like one of those things where I talk about it was a friend but it was really meaty, but it was really a friend. One time got a Arby's meal that came with two roast beef sandwiches and he ate them,

and then he had to go to the hospital. It's not that you guys make food that tastes bad or isn't appealing to me. I love it to eat a lot of beef. It's the problem is that then some, I'm worried I might have to go to the hospital afterwards because of it. And Arby's, if you're listening,

it's not just you, I'm 40 years old now. There's a lot of it. Oh, yeah, man. I'm 40 years old now. The idea of putting fast food into my human body is the equivalent of when I was like in my early 20s and went and had a wild night out with friends, right? Where it's like, fuck tomorrow. That's how it is when it's like fast food for dinner.

Fuck tomorrow, YOLO, I'm eating this tonight. It's hard sometimes when we're getting happy meals for the guys. For the boys. And I'm like, I'm eating this tonight. It's hard sometimes when we're getting happy meals for the guys. For the boys, you hungry boys? And I'm like, hey, as long as we're getting some Mickey D's, let me hit that up too. The clown has nothing for me that will, the Grimace Shake was a documentary.

They used to have fake adult offerings. Exactly. They used to have things like, oh, for me, just the salad. Just the wrap, please. They don't do that. Give me the just the salad. Just the wrap, please. They don't give me a, like give me the shake up salad or whatever it was called. The salad in a cup, please, Ronald. Thank you.

They have nothing for me that's not, I have shit to do tomorrow. I can't, I absolutely can't be. Including shit. I can't be damned up like that by any of you guys. I wanna make sure that we get credit for something. Okay. Arby's is one of the few companies

that we have in our careers actually had meetings with like brand deal meetings in terms of like lucrative sponsorship opportunities. That is true. Another thing that happened so long ago, I forgot about it. One of the very few companies that has ever expressed such an interest.

And we are the kind of podcast that has the gall, has the courage to say their foods may be poisonous here in our Drinks show. Not poisonous. Not poisonous. Detrimental. To my gut health. Detrimental to your health. I just wanna get, I wanna get credit

for how punk rock we are, that we are willing to take this potential lucrative opportunity that we had many years ago and just tear it all down. If you are still interested in working with us after this though, we are still open to it. Hey, I can find three no more skeptical gentlemen than us three skeptics.

Don't walk, yeah. Hook me up to the Liberty Peeler. Big beefer. Beep me up to the Liberty peeler and big beaver Beef me up to your machine and beef me down To beefy town put a cage on my head in the Ministry of Truth. Yeah, beef me hard Yeah We fucking hate Wendy like you know that about us. That's not true actually.

No, that's not true. I mean, the Junior Bacon Cheeseburger's the best. It's pretty good. It's the best out there. It's the one thing I could eat at a fast food restaurant because it has lettuce and tomato right on there and it's crazy. And I'm like, this feels good.

The size to the size sandwich to amount of fake veggies on there feels good. The Junior for me, please. Yes, please. Hey, let's wrap it up. Let's wrap on there. The junior for me, please. Yes, please. Hey, let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up. These sandwiches, wrap them up. Hey, we got some new tour dates coming up.

First of all, we got our Chicago dates at the end of this month. We're gonna be in Chicago doing Mabinbin and Taz. Taz is gonna be Taz versus Moby Dick. Chi-town. That's happening just before C2E2 up there at the end of the month. Windy City. There are still some tickets available for the Taz show, but Dick. Chi-town! That's happening just before C2E2 up there at the end of the month. Windy City.

There are still some tickets available for the Taz show, but none of it. The small apple. I don't think we call it that here in Chicago. In May we're coming to Vancouver. We're also coming to Tacoma. Dave Matthews' bathroom. What?

Dave Matthews' bathroom. They don't call Chicago Dave Matthews' bathroom. Yeah, it's where they dump. Where they dump. First of all, Dave Matthews bathroom. They don't call Chicago Dave Matthews bathroom. Yeah, it's where they dump babies. First of all, Dave Matthews wasn't the only, this is what pisses me off. Okay, okay, here it goes. Just cause his name's on the fucking bus doesn't mean that he made all the poop

that got dumped on that boat and that he pulled the trigger. I imagine Dave Matthews has the kind of diet where he makes three square pellets a day. Exactly. A day, I think he eats enough. Yeah. He eats only what he needs and leaves only footprints.

You know what I mean? He shits completely in the dookie from his butt. He shits 100%- Smooth. Biodegradable diesel fuel that the bus runs on. So you guys should be embarrassed. Have you had dreaming free wine? Spoilers.

Spoilers. Another sponsor call. So, Vancouver, Tacoma, we're coming to you in May. Kansas City, St. Louis, Tysons, Virginia, we're coming to you in June. It's gonna be a hell of a time. Go to bit.ly slash McRoy Tours for tickets and more information.

Tickets are on sale right now. So let her rip. If you haven't checked it out yet, make sure to go to McRoyMerch.com. Check out all the merch we got there. We got a Taz versus Dracula poster by Zach Sterling. We've got a Rest in Peace, Miggy the Mackerel sticker. There is a Geral of the Bionicorn

and Tyler Thrasher stuffy bundle you'll find over there that has a stuffed Garel as well as Tyler Schrodinger's cat blind box. And 10% of all proceeds this month go to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund. Thank you to Montaigne for the use of our theme song My Life Is Better With You. Great track to put on at the gym when you're cranking iron.

It make you stronger to hear it. That's true. Great track to put on at the gym when you're cranking iron It make you stronger to hear it. That's true. One to five percent exactly This is a wild wish man Are you gonna do it? I'll do it. Yeah, I'll do it I wish my bird would stop biting my nipples. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been My Brother, My Brother. Make his your dad. Square on the lips. Ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you.

This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better with you