My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 710: Colin from Secret Garden Energy

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

Today's episode is all about pet care! Whether your pet is a water-happy scorpion or a Sonic the Hedgehog skateboard, we'll teach your animal companion how to jump-rope correctly, get into a fight, and steal from their employer using arcade tickets.Suggested talking points: Chewable Matrix Pill, Plausible Ticket Deniability, Dougie and Stinky Wheel, Eye of the Jumprope, Jonathan Jump-UpWorld Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship

I could've never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like Life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah

It's better, it's better with two My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, What up, Trav Nation? What up, Trav Nation? No! It's so loud! I realize now the problem. What up, Trav Nation? You guys stop moving so much. You are a wild man with the moving. What up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy. Justin and I are like statues.

Yeah. We're like statues. Yeah, you're very boring people, I agree. One fist away. One fist away. One fist away. I don't like this. Just hold the fist right there.

That's not my face. Hold it right there. Make sure I say your name now. One fist away. That's me. I don't like to stay. Just hold the fist right there. That's not my name. Hold it right there. Make him say your name now. My name is Griffin McElroy. I'm fucking stone cold not moving this entire 55. Stone cold Steve Austin, Griffin McElroy. I'm stone cold Steve Austin.

If I drank one beer as fast as Mr. Cold does, I would go into cardiac arrest and I would die. I would die. I have a really topical and important question for you. Do you guys ever think about how in the Matrix, when Mr. Morpheus is like, hey, do you wanna take this red pill and like wake up with this blue pill and stay asleep?

That's basically like Nyquil and Dayquil. I guess it is, that's always been my question, Travis. Everybody sees that and they're like, it's a symbol. The red pill is like, fuck this system. Blue pill is like, I wanna eat that good Joey pants steak for the rest of eternity. But what I'm asking is, what is this medicine that this stranger is giving me?

Cause it's gonna do, it's not just color. I have to drive home after this, is it gonna impede that? Yeah, also I took some Benadryl earlier, is this going to, is there going to be an interaction between these drugs? I don't think Mr. Morpheus knows the answer to that fucking question.

100%. It would've been great if Neo had been like, I'll take the red pill, and do you have any applesauce to help me? I'm not really good. That's cool. Can you put it in some peanut butter for me? I'm not good at swallowing. I just thought, it's a whole thing.

Gotta be a chewable form, right? If you have like a, maybe like I could drink it and then have a lollipop afterwards to cover the taste. Yeah, sure. Can I tell you guys a story? I love stories. My cat fell off the balcony. She's okay. That's important.

For the red, white and blue America, America. Is it like a joke? No, it's more like we saw the cat out on the porch and then we noticed the cat went around and then we found the cat outside in the backyard. So it wasn't like, we weren't there. We didn't see it. No, it was just the cat went around and then we found the cat outside in the backyard. So it wasn't like kitty cat fails. We didn't see it, no, it was just the cat

and she was absolutely freaked out. Because the internet loves kitty cat fails. And nothing made her fall, because if I was a cat and I just fell for no reason, oh my God, are you kidding? How do I show my face at the kitty cat meeting? I know. So we checked her out and neither of us are vets,

and I just kind of felt like Sydney should be the one making the calls though. She's a doctor. You touch for bones? That's sort of my go-to is the animal injured thing is like, let me try and touch the, let me touch for bones real quick. She does.

And it feels like bones to me, I think is things good. With my dogs, it ends up being like, I don't know, they're eating. A lot of the time, like that's the like, yeah, I mean, they're eating. So as I was getting into bed, I had equipped all five of my sleep talismans. I was way over my load limit.

I wasn't getting out of bed. You locked them into your sleep gauntlet? Yeah, I was locked in. And then as I'm like, the sweet angel is coming to take me to Sam Man, I hear Sydney say, I'm just gonna stay up for a couple more hours to make sure she's okay. He's like, okay, I'm going to the vet.

We're going to the 24 hour. Get off the talismans. No way. So I unequip all of them. I go to the 24 hour vet that is, I kid you not, at a mile past Kimden Park. To give you an idea of how deep in Cerrito we are. You're deep in the fucking pain of that. In the CK we are.

And I'm driving past it at one o'clock in the morning. So I take the kitty, get her all checked out. The kitty cat is fine. She was in a bad mood, but she had no damage, all's well. It used to be 3 a.m., guys. And I'm fried out of my mind here. I'm not even tired anymore. It's that thing your body does where it's like,

I don't know, what do you want from me? Good, bad, sleepy, angry? I've got it all. What do you want? If your body's awake it's like, I don't know, what do you want from me? Good, bad, sleepy, angry? I've got it all, what do you want? If your body's awake at 3 a.m., usually it's coming from like a primal, so you're up at 3 a.m. because the tigers are back, and you need to be fucking ready at any moment. It's a feeling you don't normally have

since you're a baby, and it's called super tired, and it's where you're so tired, you're upset, and you're too upset to go to sleep. So it occurs to me as I'm leaving the vet, that like, man, I really want a Yoohoo and a Reese Cup right now, a lot to treat myself. That's a really specific- I know, and that was a speedway across the street, I think informed a good amount of this.

So I go over the speedway across the street, and I'm a good amount of this. So I go to the speedway across the street and I'm like, well, dang, I can't leave the dang car. It's 3 a.m. and I'm in Cerrito, Canova. So I bring the- And you were afraid someone would break in and steal the car? I don't know. I just, you know, and we had a harrowing adventure, okay?

I didn't want to be away from her. She had had a tough night. So I was like, all right, I'm gonna bring it in. And the lady behind the counter, I felt the need to justify my presence because it was so late. Even though they're open, like, you're not supposed to go there, right? You're not supposed to go there that late. So I felt the need. So I explained her what happened. She said, that is terrible. I know just what that's like. I've been having trouble with my pets lately. And she said, my scorpion keeps getting stuck in his water dish. Hell yeah. Aw man.

Is that a big problem? She said, yeah, it's a huge problem. And I just kind of stood there because it's three in the morning. I'm like, how is this a fucking conversation? And then I started thinking, I remember having the thought, should I be awake at 3 a.m

More because it's stuff just popping off out here like are you sitting the rest of the time? Yeah, are you certain you were awake? J-man cuz that does not sound like I know because I don't know a lot about Scorpion care. I know I know I was awake You don't want to know how I know how because as we were kind of laughing about what it's like to have a pet I'm going out the door, she says, I still have to remind my husband, I say, every day I have to say, make sure you keep Sub-Zero out of his water bowl. That's good.

Now this does actually sound more dreamlike. No, I wish I could come up with something that good in a dream, are you kidding me? No, the woman has a scorpion named Sub-Zero. Which is amazing. It's freaking great. she should get a Pulitzer Here's here's the thing. I don't know much about scorpion care But how big does a scorpion water dish need to be scorpions already pretty small desert creatures from what I understand

They don't need to be able to swim laps in there I guess it's like a swimming around. I don't know and may may I pause it? They don't know, Justin, I'm sorry. They don't like to swim around. They get on the backs of frogs or turtles, depending on which version of the story you hear. Infable. Very canny. I think if an animal continuously gets stuck

in its own water dish, it no longer qualifies for pet status. Like there's some animals that just like can't be, you can't have a worm pet, because it's like what are you gonna do with that? There's a lot of people who use those to catch other pets. As food. You're dancing on a razor's edge

of getting yelled at on the internet. Well you're not on the internet, so you're probably fine. I'm invincible, scorpion heads like come out. I think scorpions are fucking cool. Like that's rad. I think though, if they keep on getting stuck in the old ding dang water dish and you have to fish them out of there, that's not, I don't think,

I think that gets shunted off the pet list. I think at that point. I do think that if I was, I don't think a scorpion's an apex predator, but it's a pretty bad ass animal who's out there scaring other animals away. And then you were like, so I'm gonna take you now and put you in this box by yourself

for the only animal you can scare is you? I'd be like, oh no, now I'm trapped in here with my thoughts. Usually I'm out there scaring other animals and now I'm thinking about mortality. Let me out. Stepped on one once, accidentally, didn't do it on purpose. He stepped on it and it hurt my foot, but good.

I was at a swimming pool, I had just moved to Texas. I was like, is this how it's gonna be here? And it didn't happen again. But no adverse effects to speak of whatsoever. So I'm stronger than scorpion venom. My friend Megan, who's the barber at the place, I get my hair cut and we done theater and stuff. First time I ever met her, she said,

I was on the news once because I found a scorpion at Walmart. That's her icebreaker. They did a news story because she found a scorpion at Walmart. Pretty good. That's cool. It's pretty good. It's a good story. What's his story?

What's he doing? What's he, what is it? Hey, what's he doing there though? The scorpion? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, probably looking for value, I guess. I guess so. I didn't have a joke there.

No, I'm trying to figure out how to tie it back to the Matrix, like the Scorpion took the red pill and broke out, but he was like, okay. That's all Walmart. Do you guys wanna do the show, or? Yeah, I would love to. I'm a supervisor at a small local amusement park. My job, that's cool.

My job is to manage, it's a cool job. I manage to manage stuff and general park duties. Manage staff. Oh, manage staff, not manage stuff. That makes a lot more sense. Manage staff and general park duties like running rides. Occasionally I play games in our arcade during my breaks. I have racked up quite a few hard earned tickets

in my time working there, but usually I only redeem them for small pieces of candy. Recently, we received a few new items for the prize wall, including a Primo Sonic skateboard that I really like. It's been sitting in the back for two months now. Brothers, how do I heist this wicked skateboard without tipping off upper management?" And that is, PS, I don't know how to skateboard yet. The skateboard swindler in Frederick, Maryland. Now, this is an interesting question you've chosen to do, Cleaker Travis, because this person is talking about theft

from the workplace. Now, hold on, hold on. Shrink is shrink, we want to use the PC term, shrink. There's shrinkage happening. No, I think they're talking about buying the skateboard with their million tickets that they have. Yeah, no, 100% that they've earned. That they've earned. I didn't think it was, I'm going to steal.

I mean, heist. Why include all this shit about tickets though? Okay, now wait a minute, I know why. Okay, okay, okay, okay. They get free plays. Yeah. Because they work in the arcade. Uh-huh.

So they ostensibly can generate infinite ticket profit with no money going into the coffers. So this person is saying, is there a difference between just going back to the shelves and picking up a roll of tickets and then going out to the counter and slapping it down saying, here, give me my skateboard. Well, now hold on, Justin. I understand what you're saying and you ain't wrong, but there is a difference.

They've earned now through perhaps maybe not the most illicit, which is the opposite of illicit in my mind, the most licit of means. They've maybe pressed the button that they have a key to open to get a free game on the thing. But then if they've racked up a lot of tokens, they have some kind of skill at these games.

Not necessarily that doesn't make any sense because they can play Gender Wheel 100,000 times and it's gonna crap out four tickets every time because thank you for the money, right? By the way, can I clarify? I am not passing judgment on question. No, steal, steal from every place you work at for sure. You're not being competent for almost everything.

I'm just trying to like zoom in on what the actual question is. Right, here's what you're gonna do. Were these tickets obtained in a way that would make you ashamed to carve the sidewalk with your best friend, Sonic? Ashamed doesn't, you're talking about, are you gonna get in trouble?

Do you have plausible deniability is what you're asking me, right? Because that's what you're saying, because if you came in, put a dollar in the machine, got tokens out, put tokens in the machine, earn enough tickets, use those tickets to get the thing, there's no issue, right? Right.

So here's what you're gonna do. The end of the night, you're locking up, you take down the skateboard, you take it home. Next morning, you come back, you bring the skateboard back, you put it back on the wall. It's there during the day. This is class pet situation. You're taking the Sonic home to take care of him.

You don't wanna leave Sonic there by himself. He's gotta get so hungry for rings and chaos gems and whatnot. And now the only issue with that, Travis, is when I snap that motherfucker on that 22-step rail outside the public library, when I fucking 50-50 nose grind it and blow my fucking nards with my boys Dougie and Stinky Wheel watching me,

I can't bring it back in two pieces, Travis. I fucked up the thing on the library steps. If you were an employer and you saw your employee like zoom up to the front door and they pop an ollie and then do the cool thing where they like pick up the skateboard without, you know what I mean? Like without bending over. The only way to carry it over the shoulder

like a fireman. Yeah, or sort of like sit. And you're like, dang, that's cool. Where did you get that? Would you rather the employee spend you a grand tale of how they played this one game over and over again until they earned enough tickets? I mean, sensibly on free time, one hopes, but probably not, right?

Would you rather hear that whole story or would you rather they say, yeah, I was in the back for two months and I just took it because I wanted it. And I didn't think anybody would notice or care. I, and you did fair play. Tell me the cash value and I'm happy to reset. I thought this would be fine. I've demonstrated the product and if we're being honest, cash value probably like $12. Especially now I've like grinded this thing down to the top.

Are you telling me that at this amusement park arcade, this parkade, there's one skateboard prize? You got one of them and said, that's plenty. It's a small local amusement park, Travis. Yeah, how many skateboards do you want them to have? What an insane thing to even say, Travis. Like, what an absolutely unhit, like why do they have so few skateboard prizes? Because they, I would assume,

have multiples of other prizes. Because they, I would assume, have multiples of other prizes. It's a bulk industry. I, if I ran an arcade, if I ran an arcade, first of all, your ass would be on the street. You're out day one, by the way. You're fucking done. You should steal from your employer,

unless they're us, in which case you're going down. I think that if you come to me though, and you've broken that sacred tenet. Of Sonic's skateboard. From fucking Tony Scarface to get high on your own supply, then I find out you stole a skateboard, that's not great. If I find out that you've just been playing arcade games for free and getting tickets out of the machines

and then getting the skateboard that way, I think I'm gonna be angrier. At that point, we've lost time. We've lost resources. We've lost tickets. What else are they supposed to be doing? No, I gotta zoom in here, Griffin. They've cleaned everything.

Running rides and managing staff. That's a lot. That's a full, that's a full plate. That's a pretty full That's a full plate. That's a pretty full plate, I'd say. Now I would have to assume that Question Asker is not leaving rides running with people on them or abandoning staff what needs management.

You don't know that though. You don't know that. Why are you assuming that? They may be a real stinker, you don't know. So you are passing judgment. No, in this one sense, I might be. Here's the thing, it's not stealing because the tickets have no cash value.

This is what I'm saying. If the tickets have no value and you take a skateboard for yourself to enjoy, and then someone's like, you didn't pay for that. And you're like, I can't, I just wanted it. So I took it. With what? With what?

How much money will you give me for these tickets? Nothing, they're not valuable. Okay, so then the skateboard has no value. I cannot be stealing from you. Everything here is free. Everything's free, take anything you want. If it's a price. What's the value of money, Justin,

when you really think about it, it's just piece of paper. You're gonna trade it in for gold hunks? Yes. Hey Justin, I've got a pill for you here I want you to take and open your eyes. It's vitamin C. You're just looking a little, you look a little scurvish.

I think depending on your age, there's an easier answer to all of this, which is get the skateboard down and stand on it. Because every skateboard experience I've had as an adult, I'll say past the age of 28, goes like, oh, fucking cool, skateboard, let me hop on that. I get on it and it immediately shifts underneath me and I'm like, oh, no, mm-mm.

Don't know how. No, I'll fall on this and I'll, I might die. I might get very, very hurt. So that could be the solution for you, to just shatter your skateboard dreams in one fell swoop. This is actually just, if somebody else wants to take this a money-making idea that I had, more of a service really, where you're gonna set up like a building,

maybe a warehouse kind of thing with different stations set up and each station is equipped with the like makings of a hobby to let like neurodivergent people who have convinced themselves that their life will be better if they get better at pottery or whatever. It's like, okay, don't go buy all this stuff. Come here, try it for, let's be honest, an hour and be like, oh, actually, fuck this, I hate this so much.

An hour is a lot. For a skateboard, again, I would need... I can't commit to that long. This is what I'm saying, right? Because my daughter wants to learn to skateboard, but I know that she doesn't. She likes the idea of knowing how to skateboard, and the idea of buying a skateboard for her

to do that with, and then just using it, I guess, as a furniture dolly from then on, out of the question. I have another question. I want it. How I really wanna jump rope. I live on the sixth floor, so I can't jump in my apartment because of my neighbors.

I can't go to the roof because it is caved in on us before from very poor repairs. We have a courtyard, but no one uses it. It is pure concrete. Mostly I just see vermin there. Plus, I would super be on display for the whole building. And I'm really bad at jumping rope so far. I'm not near any large green space.

And I want this to be as accessible to me as possible. Brothers, where do I peacefully jump rope without disturbing others or being on display? That's from Genuinely Jumpy Jumper NBK. Brooklyn, presumably. Or British Nights. Imagine any of you are at a public park and you walk by someone who's jumping rope

and they're not doing a very good job at it. What do you do in that situation? Look away as fast as possible. Keep on walking. Look away as fast as possible. Look away as fast as you possibly can. Because I'm embarrassed to have been watching them. So I look away as fast as possible.

I wish I would do that. I wish I would do that, but I would find something to do nearby and get them right in the old periphery. And I am like, what the fuck? Why are they, they're really- Why are they bad at jump roping? You're gonna-

No, why are they so committed to this? That's an insane answer, Travis. That's a wild answer, Travis. It's a wild and- You look away. The wild and- You look away, what's wrong with you? And can I say a lie?

I don't think you'd actually do that. I think you're doing it, I think you're saying that for the vine. I don't think you'd actually do that. I think you're doing it, I think you're saying that for the vine. I don't think there's any fucking reality where you see someone being bad at jump roping. First of all, it mandates that you have noticed another person. So that's already like a big problem.

It felt like you took this wild contrarian position that no human, I was trying to make the point that if you're walking in the park, you see someone bad at jump roping, you fucking leave, but you were like, I'd watch him and fucking jack it, baby. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Nobody said I'd jack it.

Why would you fucking do that? You wouldn't do that. Now here's what happened. There's no way you'd do that. Griffin, let me tell you what happened. Let me tell you what happened. My brain started to spin up another idea. Before you asked the question. No, let me finish, let me finish.

Can I guess, can I guess? So you were to spin up another idea, so your top men were on that. So you left responding to Griffin to some of your junior associates. No, it was more if there was an image crossover of in my mind, like if you show up and you're like kitted out, like you're in training for something

and you start jump roping. So, okay. And then I'm picturing somebody kitted out, like boom box playing Eye of the Tiger or the jump rope equivalent. Yeah. Training from nothing to excellence. Yes, if someone is at the park and they have a boom box

and they're wearing a fucking jump rope for heart shirt and they have the headbands and they keep screaming like, God damn, I can't wait to jump over this fucking rope. And then they get out there like, thwip, thwomp, thwimpity thwomp. I'd be like, okay. Yeah. I would be curious about that, Travis.

That might be a play at that point. You put so much imaginary English on the ball that I just need to warn you from the outside perspective of your own mind, it was a patently bonkers thing to say. Yes, but that's what I was picturing when you asked me, and I had to walk that back. I understand that. Because they just pictured a regular person

pull a regular jump over their regular pocket and start jump roping, and me sitting up a lawn chair to peep it. Yeah, no, you see it now. Yeah, man. Okay, cool, you see it now. Yeah, man. Okay, cool, cool. But I will say, to get back to, you have that shared space.

First of all, you're gonna clean that baby up. You're gonna get some mats in there, that courtyard. And yeah, the other people in your building are gonna notice, but it's gonna become inspirational. They're gonna see you, and at first, they might laugh. They're gonna see you and at first they might laugh. They might laugh behind their hands at you, but pretty soon they're gonna see you becoming like triple Dutch or whatever.

And they're like, oh my God. And now you've inspired them to get that graduate degree that they've been talking about. You've inspired them to make amends with their estranged wife. Now, the luckily Travis has talked so much garbage for so long that I have been able to formulate a foolproof solution to your problem, Question Asker.

So thank you so much for that. You guys ready? Travis is spraying water into his mouth from a, okay, so that's cool. So it's fixed. so that's the problem. No, you have to describe it. This is an audio. You guys describe it.

I think I've already done enough work here. Justin has posted what looks like a marketing image for a product that is for babies, and it's one of those baby jumpers. It's a Johnny jump up. Johnny jump up, yes. A Johnny jump up, and you string it up in your door frame, and then the baby sits in it like a big diaper for goof balls,

and you jump up and down like that. It's elastic, it's elastic. It's elastic. Now, but here's the thing, J-Man, I'm 100 pounds of pure American steel. Will you finish the good version of it before you start trying to pick it apart? No, no, you're saying that your feet make no noise

on the ground with this Johnny jump up catching you just gently. No, no, you're saying that your feet make no noise on the ground with this Johnny jump up catching you just gently. Yes, and you are getting like incredible jumps too. Yes. The best jumps of your career. But then you show up at the Jump Rope for Heart Invitational 2024 and you're like, what's up motherfuckers, I hope you're ready to get squished.

And then you're like, you can barely get your feet up off the ground because you're so used to the assistant. I just need a door frame coach. You need a door frame and a Johnny jump up, dip, dip, dip, dip. You can barely get your feet up off the ground because you're so used to the assistant. I just need a door frame, coach. Door frame and a Johnny jump up, that's legal, right? I'm 200 pounds of Togita steel. And if I tried this in a building where, if I can remind you, Justin, they can't go up on the rooftop terrace

because it's caved in on them multiple times. Where exactly in this building do you think I am hooking up a Johnny jump up strong enough? You gotta go to the, well Trav, you should know the answer to this question is you gotta go into the joists. If you have not secured this, if you haven't secured this thing into the joists,

maybe with a little nice lag bolt, get it up in the joists, then you're gonna have a secure fun time. I will say, this is the second question in a row, and Brooklyn and Frederick, Maryland, not like crazy far away, there's an opportunity here, I think, to get this person in the door of Travis's

hobby attempting storage facility. Each unit is just a little private space for you to go and try out jump roping for a half of an hour. There's, maybe we have the stuff in there for you ready and you try for a half hour and you might not like it and then you won't have to worry about where you won't do it anymore.

And this is, can I tell you, it doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to be big hobbies. Recently, I was with my daughter somewhere where there were hula hoops and they were like, how do you hula hoop? And I was like, oh, let me show you. And the speed at which I realized I am both bad at hula hooping and hate it, seconds.

Instinct, it's one of those, there's so many things. We realized it when we did our roller skating episode of Mbem Mbem, I got on roller skating, so I was like, why am I, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's so many things like that. Why doesn't this type of thing exist where you can just show it to a building

and it's like, we've got 100 hobbies for you to try and you get to pick which one sounds good. It's like the funnest version of college that we've imagined. It only takes an hour and it costs $50. That's a good idea, Griffage. Get it out of your system, it's called. But that was my idea.

No, but I took it and I made it so much more bold. Guys, we got a problem. What's that? We got a problem. I talked to some of the guys in the lab and it's tough. The first batch of Jonathan jump-ups have come back and they have been returned 100%. According to this, 100% have been returned. I think there was a design flaw that we didn't notice in hindsight.

Yeah. And that is that if you are suspended from ropes that are attached to the ceiling, the very, very, very, very first time you try to make a rope go around your whole body, you will find their path interrupted, rope interrupted by the Johnny Jump Up itself. So it would be impossible. That's what we discovered from our early consumer feedback. I've solved it. Jonathan Jump Up 2, series 2. You're suspended from a bouncy spring on the bottom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fixed. No. I think we'll still run into a similar issue. The other issue that I've heard from- Okay, suspension from the sides. That is gonna be the same problem times two. I think the bigger issue is Jonathan-

Hole in the rope. The Jonathan Jump Up issue for me, Justin, is that we didn't differentiate it at all from the Johnny Jump times two. I think the bigger issue is the Jonathan jump up issue for me, Justin, is that we didn't differentiate it at all from the Johnny jump up product. So a lot of people did buy them on Amazon and put their babies in them and shot at them out of the window like an angry birds. Well, Griffin, every new product.

Cause the springs are so much stronger for this 200 pound body. Every launch is gonna have its share of glitches and we are so excited to have them. Yeah, and launching those babies out the window had glitches to spare. We know that a lot of you have heard a lot of things about Jonathan Jump Up in the past few weeks

and I promise that we are going to set the story straight in the coming days and weeks. But thank you to all of our team members for being a part of this incredible adventure. Hey, did you guys see that no tap apology from Jonathan Jump up? Yeah, it was really weird. We're so sorry to be parting ways

with the entirety of the company, but we are excited about the future. If we can get this one issue fixed. Yeah. Should we go to the main zone? I think so, yes. Okay, cool. Yes, we should. Come on, let think so. Yes. Okay. Yes, we should come on. Let's go

Hello everybody and welcome to trav nation, that's right. It's me I've taken over the bodies of Justin and Griffin and so now all three will be my voice and the three of us are gonna Tell you about about stamps.com. Yeah, that's right, Travis. We're talking about stamps.com. Do you have stuff to ship? Yeah, I do Griffin. Okay, cool. Can I finish the? Yeah, sorry. Go ahead. Yeah, sorry. So when you're making decisions for your company, you're always looking for no brainers here. Kind of like Justin, Travis. That's not cool. Okay. And if you have a lot of mailing and shipping to do, stamps.com is the obvious choice for a reason.

You can take care of mailing and shipping wherever you are, even on the go with the stamps.com mobile app. All you need is a computer and printer, right Travis? That's right Griffin. They even send you a free scale. Seamlessly connect with every major marketplace and shopping cart if you sell online. Get rates you can't find anywhere else. Like what, Justin?

Oh, like up to 89% off USPS and UBS? Wow, that's amazing. So make the same no-brainer decision as over 1 million other businesses with Stamps.com. Sign up with promo code MYBROTHER for a special offer that includes a 4-week trial plus free postage and free digital scale, no long-term commitments or contracts. Just go to St stamps.com, click the microphone at the top of the page and enter code MYBROTHER.

Okay, I've pulled myself back into just one person here. I enjoyed this a lot more. It makes a lot more sense. So warmer and sunnier days are calling. And listen, you don't wanna have to spend a lot of time prepping your meals and make a mess everywhere. That's why you're gonna you're gonna do factor, right? They're ready to eat in just two minutes They have so much more time for your summer activities for spending time with friends

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This stuff is yummy in your tummy. Take it from me. A man who knows both about yummy in your tummy. Take it from me. A man who knows both about yummy in your tummy and factor meals. So when the factor meal goes in your tummy, it'll make you yummy feeling in there. Take it from me, Travis McRoy. Head to factormeals.com slash brother50

and use code brother50, that's brother five zero to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. That's code BROTHER50 at factor meals dot com slash Brother 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts is a real podcast made up of fake podcasts. Like if you had a cupboard in your lower back what would you keep in it? So I'm going to say mugs. A little yogurt and a spoon. A small handkerchief that was given to me by my grandmother on her deathbed. Maybe some spare honey.

I'd keep batteries in it. I'd pretend to be a toy. If I had a cupboard in my lower back I'd probably fill it with spines. If you had a cupboard in your lower back, what would you keep in it? Doesn't exist. We made it up for Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts. An award-winning comedy podcast from Maximum Fun, made up of hundreds of stupid podcasts. Listen and subscribe to Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts now. Oh my gosh, hi, it's me, Dave Holmes, host of the pop culture game show, Troubled Waters. On Troubled Waters, we play a whole host of games, like one where I describe a show using limerick and our guests have to figure out what it is.

Let's do one right now. What show am I talking about? This podcast has game after game and brilliant guests who come play him. The host is named Dave. It could be your fave. So try it. Life won't be the same. A Big Business Starring Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin. Close, but no.

Oh, is it Troubled Waters, the pop culture quiz show with all your favorite comedians? Yes, Troubled Waters is the answer. To this question and all of my life's problems. Now, legally, we actually can't guarantee that. But you can find it on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts Me and my mom recently bought a bird feeder the seeds are supposed to be a favorite of a lot of different species yet I haven't seen anything is there a way I can create buzz for the birds and get some good press going How can I get birds to chow down on our patio?

I just want to see a damn morning dove but a chickadee will be just fine. Yeah, man. That's from Gia is birdless in Billinoy. Yelp? Yelp? Yelp for? Get a good Yelp review from some birds. Hey, I got it. Yeah. You know, nobody's using Twitter, no?

You can just call it that. That's true, and it'd be good because of birds. Yeah, if I had fucking said that, Griffin would have been so far up my ass if I was like, they could tweet about it. And Griffin would be like, no. He's already pretty mad at you. No, no, no, that would have been a kick-ass joke

that made sense in the context of the question. Fuck! We're really getting back to Brass Tax's episode. We're really, I mean, maybe it's good to reset every day. Just to set what the new limits are. You can put up as much bird seed in your yard as you want. Birds, and by birds I mean all wild animals, aren't fucking onto us.

Like they know how we do when we want something from them. Usually they're delicious, incredible meat. And so birds aren't gonna be, now if you could guarantee that this is a cat-free zone, if you could make the zone inhospitable to cats, then I think birds would be. What's that? A moat? Around the bird feeder.

Yeah, big fence even that now cats can climb. Yeah, cats can climb. Here's the problem is it's not just the eating of it, right? Imagine Griffin, you walk up to a table and there's a yummy burger, the most delicious looking burger you've ever seen. You're like, hmm, burger for me. And you sit down and then next to you,

a giant set of blinds open up and that giant eyeballs like, mm-hmm, uh-huh. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, they're like, oh, he's gonna eat it. Look at him, honey, honey. Yeah. He's gonna eat the burger. Well, I have to imagine that their setup doesn't involve them being fucking right next

to the bird feeder, just fucking licking the lips. Why would that be what you imagined? One thing you could try is you could just stand, okay, the seeds are good. We love the seeds. That's not the problem. The problem is getting the word okay, the seeds are good. We love the seeds. That's not the problem. The problem is getting the word out about the seeds. So I think you stand near the bird feeder

and then you just get big handfuls of it and then you just cast big handfuls and say, we got this shit for days, come get it. And then you throw it far away. It's like advertising. So you just keep chucking the seeds far and people are like, what is up with that dude? Now that's important.

You can only do that once because if you do it every day, birds would be like, that house is not worth it. No, like, oh, I got protest too much. Yeah, I don't like the vibes of this house. But I think you get a few birds in at like a base level, like our sort of like associate diamond bedrock members, and you get them in and you say, tell the other birds. And they could end up being like a gold level bird.

Membership cards. Get the sexiest birds on the block. Flamingos. That would do it for me. Hard to get. I mean, here's the thing. It's a big gap. I'm saying some fucking chickadees, some Cardinals, a blue jay, sees a flamingo

popping up to my Ohio bird feeder. Frick, that's good, Trav. That would actually be huge for word of mouth. Yeah. Is that why people have like fake flamingos that must be a stele? So other birds are like, hell yeah. Fuck yeah, must be a cool yard, got flamingos there?

Yeah. Shit man. Is that the golden eagle from the rescuers down under of the scale of which Travis is never quite determined if that's a real bird or not? Fuck man, that's awesome. A kid flies on it. Yeah. Guys. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense at all.

In rescuers down under, a kid flies on that fucking bird. Is that bird a real bird? Australia, do you have a bird taken over a child to ride on it? I don't think there's a bird. I'm gonna go out on a real bird? Australia, do you have a bird that can go for a child's ride on it? I don't think there's a bird. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say, there's no bird that can carry a kid. No way.

What are you doing on the limb? If birds can't catch us, Griffin, I wouldn't be out on limbs. You don't have any sort of backup plan. That's a good point. I don't wanna be out here. They're not gonna swoop down and save you. I think that's a problem.

What's Brenda Fricker's secret? Cause she's got birds for fucking days, and she doesn't seem to be doing much else than like scattering food about and having a kind of chill vibe. Well, she's in a place where the birds are wicked stupid. Before you talk about Brenda Fricker, and I know legally speaking,

we do need to discuss Brenda Fricker, I would like to tell you about a flamingo joke that I wrote and I didn't get to say, and I would like to say now. Just now? Okay, cool. Thank you. Here it goes.

You have to pretend like we're still talking about how people go to places, like birds go to places where they see flamingos. Okay, yeah. Because they're like the original influencers. You get, okay. Damn, you're about to fucking bust it. This one's good.

I've got to thank the most high on this one. Cause I feel like this is not for me. Here we go. Sometimes I just open my mouth and out it comes. Here we go. You know why flamingos are that color? Why? Because of all the Starbucks pink drinks

that they have consumed. I'm bussin'. Yeah, I mean it's good. You were expecting me to say shrimp. Admit it. Yeah, no, for sure I was thinking shrimp. But I didn't, not on that time. You did Starbucks pink drink instead.

Starbucks pink drink. It used to be a thing that was very popular. Okay, so I have to imagine we were still talking about how flamingos are those sexy birds that are like the cool VIPs at the club that the other birds wanna come by and that also the Starbucks pink drink was. Yeah.

Are there any other sort of like reality shifts that you wanna do to make this joke hit like as hard as possible? Just like a parameter change. Cause as long as we're doing this, like we could do any, like we could make it so that like in general, drink humor is funny or like bird humor is like really, really super hot, right? Yeah, imagine flamingos can do like selfies.

I'm just saying I liked it better when Griffin was being mean to Travis. Yeah, we all did. Well, I guess Justin, for me, what happens to a Brenda Fricker conversation deferred? Cause I'll tell you, it spoils. Now you've ruined, imagine, all right, now imagine we're still talking about Brenda Fricker.

We can't have asterisks. We can't have footnotes. We've never done a sort of one, two step version of this podcast before where we do a punchline and then a punchline and then a joke set up. A true adventure kind of thing. Just turn to whichever one you like. Hey, if you want to hear more about Brenda Fricker, jump to minute 57. We got something special waiting for you there.

That is a good idea though. I think you could do that. It would be like those old VHS board games. Like just fast forward until you see the purple triangle. You know that that's the right. You know we're talking about Brandon Fricker. Did you say Brandon Fricker? I'm thinking about Brandon Frasier. What's up?

I'm the cool Brenda Fricker, Brandon Fricker. Still got the bird stuff going on. But these are all bald eagles. Squoody leer. Just side note question asked, you don't want this, I made this mistake. I made my house a bird feeder zone. And now sometimes I go out to fill the bird feeders

and I can hear birds in trees surrounding my home start to make noise. No way. Yes, they see the feeding happening and you start to hear, ha-ba-la-ba-la-la-la-la-la-la. And trees around me, it's not as fun as you might think to be tippy-hedron in that circumstance.

We could do a WikiHow from the Wizard. Sure, I love that. Sure, Elizabeth sent this in, thank you Elizabeth. It's how to make a clean comeback. Do you hate it when people insult you and wanna give them a nice smooth comeback comeback then forget that your mom and your face Rants and follow these steps ask them is that all you got? Hold on wait so they hold on before we even get into it

This is the description of the wiki how article before we even get into the steps They've kind of already told you sort of a good way of dealing with it Yeah, you gotta get out early on this one A preview of how good it's gonna be. Step one, be relaxed as usual. That doesn't describe my- No, not my stasis. No, that's not me at the meeting. Which one is it, be relaxed or be my usual?

One of the two, if you get angered when someone insults you, you somehow automatically lose your nerves. So listen carefully to their insult and it'll come to you easier. That's cool immersion therapy. When someone is insulting you and you can feel a good blast, a good fucking salt burn coming right at you, sit there and really fucking pay attention.

Like really dial in. Keep your grades up and listen as hard as you can to these insults. I've reached a point now in my life, and I don't mean this to brag, but when someone is actually trying to insult me, like trying to start a fight with me, my like number one response is confusion.

Like they'll say it and I'm like, oh. What do you mean by that? Okay, what's happening? What is it? Happened recently, I was at a convention and I was hanging out with, I'm gonna name drop here a little bit, Matt Mercer and Marisha Ray.

Oh my gosh. I know. And we were at a tiki bar and a drunk man slammed his heel. Did fucking one of them insult you? Yeah. Cause I'll fucking go ahead. Marisha Ray, no, they're both very, very kind. But a drunk man attempted,

he slammed his heel down on my foot and then said, are you trying to trip me? And I said, oh no, you accidentally stepped on my foot. It's okay. And I watched his energy become so... Do you think he was trying to fight you? He was trying to fight it. Nice.

And I was just like, oh, it's fine. Yeah, you stabbed my foot, don't worry about it. And he was like, oh, okay. He just walked away. I wanna make the rest of the show about this, Trepp. Oh, okay. Like, no one's ever picked me to fight before. And like, I don't know what it is about the energy

I give off versus the energy you give off that someone sees you and is like, you know, I'd love to fight. Griffin, you do. You do. You see it, right? Griff. The energy that Travis has that is fighting-

I'm 200 pounds of talking tough steel, Griffin. Versus your energy, Griff, and I'm talking about the- You're calling from a secret garden. You're calling from secret garden energy. Yeah. He's a cool kid. This is great, because now Justin and I can make fun of you. And it's, ah, it's all coming around.

Everybody gets a turn. Yeah, and how's that feeling right now? Feeling great. Bad for me. I don't like it. Look how little and withered up I am, Trav. I can't believe you'd say that. It is time to stand up according to your Apple Watch, though.

So if you wanna do that, you're almost done. Oh, thank you so much, Trav. You're welcome, Kripp. I don't see a look out for you. He's just standing. You gotta around to set registers. You can't just stand there doesn't know what I think you have to move around to This is like the old days are recording. I can't see Griffin's face. I can just hear his voice You're seeing the good stuff though. Yeah torso. Wait, are we wearing the same kind of pants? Hold on step two don't overdo it

I mean, you know, I got those chubby's five pants? Hold on. Step two, don't overdo it. I mean, you know, I got those chubby 5.5 inches on, so is that what you're working with? Well, no, mine's like a tan denim. No, I'm not wearing tan denim. I'm wearing my 5.5 or chubby. Oh, you have shorts. Okay, mine are long.

Yeah, I have shorts on. It's 90 degrees outside. Okay, I'm inside. I left my keys up here. Now we're all seven. Step two, don't overdo it. If you say something so complex and outrageous, no one will be impressed.

Try to avoid saying um and uh. All comebacks should flow perfectly. Try to avoid stuttering as well. We're setting again. Did we mention that? Cause I- Yeah, we- I mean, we're all panting pretty heavily

into the microphone. So I think that people understand that a change has occurred. I think someone makes fun. Okay, try this one. Try this one. Griffin, say something I think someone makes fun of me. Okay, try this one, try this one. Griffin, say something like you're making fun of me. It could be whatever. You've had so many opportunities, Travis. Don't make it real, please.

Don't make it real? No, you can make it real, okay. Good luck finding something. Uh-huh. I didn't laugh. I stepped on the sound effect, I'm sorry. Cool butt, dickhead. Sounds like you're really hurting.

I left. That's, you like- I got what I needed out of that interact, like I don't need more than that. Yeah, Travis, here's what happened there. I was just giving you the scorecard. It made you look foolish and small. Okay, try it again.

Try it again. And you agreed with him. Okay. Hey, dickhead, cool butt. Your mom likes it. Now, you understand that him? Okay. Uh, hey dickhead, cool butt. Your mom likes it. Now, you understand that in this situation. Okay, yeah, yeah, no. Detectually, you understand the problem.

Okay, try it one more time. Hey dickhead, nice butt. How did you know what I was gonna say though? Because I've been living this day on a loop for the last 1,000 years. Yeah, 100%. You just groundhog day it. Absolutely, easy.

So let me hit you, let's try it one more time. Same scenario. Hey dickhead, you have to do the thing you just did to me. Hey dickhead, cool butt. Hey dickhead, cool butt. I knew you were gonna do that cause I'm also looping to the same day. Enjoy the principal's office boys.

Fuck! You're both going there. I will enjoy the principal's office cause boys. Fuck! You're both going there. I will enjoy the principal's office because he has arcade games in there and he listens to me, unlike you, Dad. In this scenario, sorry, in this scenario, my dad is also the science teacher. And he has arcade games.

No, no, no, the principal has, sorry. My dad is sending us to the principal's office because he doesn't know how to parent correctly. So he lets the principal do a lot of the work, but the principal has arcade games and he's dating our mom now in this scenario. You and I grew up in our brothers too. And the principal is gonna be our new stepdad

and he's cool and we like him a lot. He sounds fucking cool, man. He's fucking cool as shit. Didi's got arcade games in his office. He listens well. He has Sonic on speed dial in this scenario. Sorry, in this scenario, Sonic is real. And he's there. He's got arcade games in his office. He listens well. He has Sonic on speed dial. In this scenario, sorry, in this scenario, Sonic is real and he's there.

And our dad's being played by Jason Marston. Perfect. He smokes weed all the time. And so I'm talking about the principal right now, not Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog can't do drugs. Here's a cool step I wanna just get to before we move on. Pretend to be in a hurry and say, I don't have time for this.

So someone hits you with a hey dickhead cool butt. You say, I don't have time for this. So someone hits you with a, hey dickhead, cool butt. You say, I don't have, sorry. I would love to. You don't have to pretend to be in a hurry, like mortality's a thing. None of us really have time for that. That's interesting, Travis. That's a, maybe we figured out like war in general with that.

Ooh. De-le-le-le-le-le. Really? De-le-le-le-le-le. Ooh. Really? Okay. I want a Munch Jr. Squawd. Squawd. I want to Munch Jr. Squawd.

Okay. You can't sneak a Jr. in there. Welcome to Munch Squad Podcasts, this is the podcast provided by the latest, greatest brand eating. I just want to tell you, there was a TikTok posted this week where Jake from Roll 4 Sandwich,

narrow casted directly at me using the TikTok platform. He in fact said at the beginning of it, this TikTok is for Justin McElroy. If you're not Justin McElroy, scroll away. Now let me tell you all, as a follower of his content, that was an extremely distressing TikTok to see on the bathroom toilet.

I did not like to be noticed in there or recognized, but he did want to let me know that Arby's is releasing, well, here's the headline. Arby's releases new horsey sauce inspired by Beyoncé. What? Inspired in what way? Well, that's very, that's extremely interesting, Trav. Let me see if I can help you out.

She's in her horse period right now. Beyonce is her horsiest she's ever been by a pretty huge margin, I'd add. Yeah, I just can't imagine ever trying a new version of Arby's horsey sauce and be like, you know what this reminds me of? Right, so this is why you are so foolish and why you don't know what you're talking about.

I don't have time for this. Is because it is inspired by Beyonce. And I'm gonna show you the picture of the art of the sauce. Just give me one second here. The art of the sauce. Sunsues. Now. Huh. This is. That's cool. The heart of the sauce, sunsues. Now, huh, this is Chardonnay's Arby's Horsey Sauce.

Chardonnay spelled with a nay, like a horse sound. That is Beyonce's horse, yes. Beyonce's horse named Chardonnay. Just in time for the Kentucky Derby, Arby's released a little- Beyonce has a horse named Chardonnay? Chardonnay. Chardonnay's horsie sauce is a crisp, tantalizing twist on Arby's horsie sauce.

It's clear. Suddenly infused with Chardonnay flavoring for cowboys and city girls alike. Now, I have to be Chardonnay the wine and not flavor like her horse, right? The sauce comes- This one tastes like my horse. The sauce, it comes in a sophisticated frosted glass

wine bottle and features the silhouette of a majestic horse in mid gallop as you two can attest to. It does look like semen. It does kind of look like, if you call, if you handed me a bottle of that white liquid and you said this is horsey sauce and you winked, I would be fucking pretty creeped out actually, cause that is horse semen for sure, 100%.

But I mean, to be fair, that goes for a pretty top dollar these days. Sure, a bottle would be beautiful like this. I'm sure they're all gone, it costs 16 bucks for a wine ball of Chardonnay flavored horsey sauce. That's where we're at. Capital. Thanks for the update.

I guess you can- I mean, I just, no, this is a good one. Capitalism's doing good here. Capitalism's firing on all cylinders. Are you allowed to name something after somebody's horse? Can you just do that? I assume they got permission. From Beyonce? You think Beyonce answers Arby's calls?

Do you think when Arby calls, Beyonce picks up the phone? Do you think also that Beyonce is not gonna contribute to the press release about the Arby's sauce named after her horse? I'm really struggling with this, Justin. What that horse does is their business. It's not up to me, Beyonce, the owner of the horse. You'll have to ask them.

Ask the horse, I don't know. They have their own life. They posted a trailer for this fucking Beyonce horse sauce to Facebook. Can I read some of the comments on there? Yeah. I'm just gonna go down the list here. How about you just bring back the potato cakes?

The RV's experience is not the same. Couldn't care less, bring back potato cakes. Bring back the potato cakes! Wait, are these different comments? Bring back the tater cakes. I'm not horsing around. Yeah, no, I mean, these are like, every single comment on this is about potato cakes.

No potato cakes, no peace. I don't think that's- I got it right here so you guys can see. So yeah, see the idea. Okay, Justin, you're 100% right. Justin, because they say the meaning, yeah, that horse. You're right, so this is what I'm saying. That is such a winky, this is unsanctioned.

This is not going to be up by the time this episode comes out. Ha ha ha! By the time this episode comes out, people are gonna think we are making this up because there's no way Beyonce is going to allow this bootleg horse wine Carrying the name of her precious animal video on the Arby's yeah. Yeah has been viewed

313 times yes the 314th will be miss Beyonce And she's not going to allow say I was listening to. She'll say, I was listening to my favorite podcast, my brother, my brother and me. It'll be gone by sundown. Unbelievable. Hey folks, thank you so much for listening. And also I just wanna say, sorry, Miss Beyonce, thank you so much for listening.

Your continued support and honor. It's huge, man. That new album is good. You've done it. You've really done it this time. Thank you all so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've done it. You've really done it this time. Thank you all so much for listening to our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed yourself. We are so happy to have you around.

We hope you had a good time. Thanks, Justin. Yeah, you're welcome. Anybody else we should give our thanks to? Next week we've got our Vancouver and Tacoma shows. Vancouver is sold out. We still have some tickets for Tacoma though, so make sure you get those while you can.

June 21st through 23rd, we're going to be doing Kansas City, Missouri, St. Louis, and Tysons, Virginia. Get all those tickets and more information at bit.ly-macroytours. Check out new merch for this month. We've got the DJ Thumbs sticker designed by Lucas Hespenhide. And we got the Buy 3 T-shirts, get one free sale. And 10% of all proceeds this month

go to World Central Kitchen. So go check those out, macromurch.com. And we got the buy three t-shirts, get one free sale and 10% of all proceeds this month go to World Central Kitchen. So go check those out, macroymerch.com. Thanks to Montane for the use of our theme song, My Life is Better With You. It is a very, very good track and I'm champing at the bit for more. Would one of you like to read this week's wish to Fungalore?

Yeah, Griffin, why don't you do it? I would love to. Here it comes. I'm coming at you real hard right now. I wish my child would stop raiding family farts. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy.

It's been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad, Squat on the Lips. Oh, it's better, it's better with you. Yes, it's true. Oh, it's better, it's better with two. Boy, oh, it's better with you. Maximum Fun, a work-around network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.