My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 713: Speed Force Bear

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

We’ve got some tall tales and groundbreaking new games this week, so grab a Toaster Strudel from your freezer full of Toaster Strudel, sling your skateboard over your shoulder, and embrace your inner Beta, because we gotta make sure that all the spiders are dead before check-in. Suggested talking points: My Brother, My Bear, and Me, Zoop My Greeble, Catherine Zeta-Males, Bran from Grain of Oats, Amber Beauties of the SkyWorld Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert but if there's a degree on his wall I haven't seen it. Also this show isn't for kids which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship

I could've never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life, it feels like My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah

It's better, it's better with two My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two, but wait Ah, it's better with you Hello everybody, welcome to my brother, my brother mean advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy What up Trav Nation, it's me, your middle-est, coolest brother, Travis Big Dog Wolf Wolf McElroy I'm bringing back trucker hats What up Trav, I don't think you fucking are, and I hate to start the show with this energy, Trav.

Is this your cravats? I have to choose it too. I prefer an ascot, I think, Trav. You know how you're, whenever you put it on a tie, you're like, I wish there was an option that didn't require me to button my top button? Yeah. Have you thought about ascots and cravats?

Okay. Can you show me without, this is thought about ascots and cravats? Okay. What, can you show me without, this is Griffin, what up Tribe Nation? Can you show me without the hat? Show me without the hat? Travis, you look so fucking cool, man. Why would you put a hat on that? So much better, man.

Don't put the hat on. Okay, hey! It's also a weird, I can't see your beautiful eyes. Stop cooching yourself. Don't cooch yourself, bud. Don't cooch yourself. Yeah, you're right. You're right, you're right, you're right.

When you're right, you're right. Griffin, you were saying you're the baby's brother who? I said I'm Griffin McRae. But I didn't know who the fuck I am. There's no way this is anybody's first episode. There's no fucking way. If we've done this so many times. What if a baby was just born today

and they're listening to it and they nick you with their dad? Hello, my precious little baby, I'm Griffin McBride. Welcome to the world, little one. That was a trick, because this show isn't for babies, Griffin. Oh, wow. I actually found that there's an age at the beginning of life where babies can hear, like, anything, and it's, like, not a big deal.

And Griffin, just to go on record, when does life start? I mean... Yeah, super quick. I mean, honestly, probably 20 to 30 minutes after coming out. I, that's my, and that's an unpopular opinion to a lot of people. Yep.

Justin, did you wanna say stuff now? Yeah, I wanna tell you guys a story. I was driving to rehearsal for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory coming to Huntington, mid-June, check it. So I was driving to rehearsal for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory coming to Huntington mid-June. Check it. So I was driving to rehearsal, and as I was coming down my hill, I saw this large black shape go back into the woods. Holy shit.

Bigfoot, Chupacabra? Is that the whole story? No. That's not the whole story. Thank Christ. I drove past the big shape and I said I I'm the owner of these lands. I have to keep them safe. Sure I don't have the game warden is off. So I have to check the grounds. Oh, yeah

So I parked you need to get an interim game one, by the way I've told you that while your game one was a bad a goal at last gotta get in trial By the way, I've told you that while your game won't go on sabbatical, you gotta get in, Trow. You're right, and you know what? Eggs on my face this time. So I park the car and I get out of the car and I walk and I see coming back out of the woods the state animal of West Virginia.

No fucking way! The proud black bear. Get out of the town. Full grown? What does it matter? It matters. It's a bear, Trav. I look at it, it looks at me.

And did you feel safer then than if it had been a man? That's also a good question, Justin. I'll say no, if I'm in the fucking woods behind Justin's house, I don't wanna meet a stranger back there fucking at all. What are you doing back there, my man? Yeah, no, for sure. Actually, no, I would- I prefer the bear. He looked at me and he took two steps towards me, attempting to establish dominance.

Yeah. And I remembered in my head, the little rhyming, if it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, good night, because you pulled a bear. If it's legit. Kill you fucking no matter what. If it's legit, do a shit. Because then if it's like, with a Kodiak, that's legit.

If you do a shit, they won't wanna eat you. If it's gray, that's Totoro. Congratulations, you found Totoro. Take a big nap on that huge belly. You're gonna like how that feels. If it's gray, nap all day. Yeah. So I remember, if it's black, you fight back. So I back so I looked dead the eyes to turn around run back to my car

Yeah, that's your best weapon in this moment They don't have a part in the rhyme about like if there's a car drive real far. Yeah, far get in your car Yeah, no matter which bear is the star in your car. Yeah, you go far away from bears put on your seat. I drove I Drove home. I drove home. No, so that would have been wild. No, I went ahead and did rehearsal. Yeah, the bear would have followed you to home. I led him to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

I hope chocolate's poisonous to bears. I don't know. Anyway, I go there. So what a way to go for a bear. Can you imagine getting into the world of pure imagination as a bear? I get to rehearsal and Sydney's already there and I realize I'm about to rock her. Fuck you. Yeah, sure.

I, in my heart, guys, the story of the bear is so... Justin wasn't so pumped up from seeing the bear that he was sexually charged. To be clear, no, I was so excited to share the story of the bear. It was like glowing in my heart. I could sit, cause I'm about to, not only am I about to, I get the rare human experience, not only sharing a story of incredible peril for myself personally,

but I'm about to rock her foundations as to how close she thinks she is to bears at any given moment. So I'm so stoked. We get to rehearsal, I walk up to Sydney, I open my mouth with like bear news, six o'clock bear news. She looks at me, she holds up her phone,

she says, look at the text I just got from Amanda Coleman, Amanda Coleman, former boss of Harmony House, dear friend, send Sydney a text. Text says, Sydney, we just saw a bear in our front yard. What the fuck, man? You were undercut. I'm so sorry, bud. I was like, what, really? Really? Does Amanda live near you? This is the weird thing, right? Sort of, but not bear close. Yeah. Not like, not close to a bear, quite far from a bear.

Now is it possible, Justin, that that bear, once you hopped in the car, was like, oh shit, I'm gonna need an alibi, and they ran down to Amanda's and made themselves very visible. So if anybody asked and you're like, I saw a bear, they'd be like, no, you didn't, that bear was that Amanda. Did you get a picture of the bear, Juice?

Amanda did. But you didn't get a picture of the bear? you get a picture of the bear, Juice? Amanda did. But you didn't get a picture of the bear? Amanda got picture of the bear. Juice, that sucks, man. If I learned anything from middle school, it's picture didn't happen, bro. Yeah. I go home after rehearsal and I'm going to pick up my kids

because they've been at Tom and Mary's. By the bear, near the bear. Close to the bear. Near the bear, but in my heart, I'm like like, well at least I'm gonna drop some bear knowledge on these kids and they're about to freak out with bear awareness, bear awareness. Yeah. So I walk in and she said,

daddy, we've been going on a bear hunt. And I said, what? She said, yes, Salem is a friend of ours, was coming over to Tom Marys and on a different road, spotted a bear and went and told my kids, my kids, about the bear they saw. They don't have kids yet. And then drove around a little bit on a fanciful trip to try to find the bear. They had, they didn't even, they didn't just get to share the story of the bear with my

kids. Yeah. They took them on a bear venture. An incredible memory, a foundational core memory, and it was ripped out of my hands again. My encounter with a bear meant nothing. It meant nothing. No one cared about this bear adventure that I had gone on.

I'm so sorry, Justin. That sucks, man. That really genuinely sucks. What I thought was, if only I had hundreds of people that I could tell the story to digitally. Hopefully more than hundreds. Oh God, how bad are we doing? Jesus Christ.

Well, I feel like most people might have zoned out because they thought this story doesn't sound very good. They were like, I'll wait and see if- I saw this bear. I already heard about the bear in town. Mary called me and told me about the bear. But anyway, that's three sightings of the same bear in very different spots.

Yeah, you should get the fuck out of it. Okay, yeah. I'd leave. Well, Kaz, it's one of three things. Either an incredibly fast bear that's tapped into the speed force, or three different bears coordinating on the same evening, like triangulating people you know.

The bears are looking for people you know, Justin. Wait, Justin, what have you done? What did you know? The bears are looking for people you know, Justin? Wait, Justin, what have you done? What did you do? I still have the Taser from when I needed to defend my home against coyotes, so I'm ready for any bear. I feel like I could probably drop a bear with a Taser. I will stick to plan A, which is,

hey, get the car, Go away, drive the car. Justin, is there, did you possibly, maybe within the last five years, kill either a bear or an animal that might have adopted three bear cubs? That is now, they've trained their whole lives looking for vengeance on you for that fateful day. And now's the time?

Alternatively, did you also maybe eat all the blackberries? That's also a good point. Did you eat their last smack-a-roll of honey? That's another- I was, I should mention, when I said drive in my car, I should mention I was toddling pantsless down my road with a huge vat of honey. Yeah.

Was your car filled with a picnic of Ascus? Guys, it was incredible. I bet. I will say this. It was not a big bear. It looked like a baby that had got separated from his mom. From what I've seen on Cabell County 911, it seems to have been safely placed somewhere

where it won't get into people's yards anymore in that moment Everything that I think is good and special about myself fell away almost in an instant Yeah, I realized that like of all the things that I value in my own self, right like podcaster entertainer father brother son Podcast, entertainer, father, brother, son, creative, a writer, a speaker, a game player, a woodworker, a baker, a lover, a baker.

Fucking none of it mattered to this boy. He looked at me and he was just like, food. No, I'm not food, you don't understand. But then in that moment, guys, I was forced to see myself as food. I had to say, maybe none of this, maybe it's all done. Maybe I am just food for this cat. Let him cook, Travis, let him cook. Cause just I feel like it's getting close to something.

I'm saying maybe I need more anti-bear skills than I have cultivated to this point. Right now you're just meet the dreams. You know what I mean? I'm wholly cultivated to this point. Right now you're just meet the dreams. You know what I mean? I'm wholly unequipped. I am not only am I completely defenseless. I mean, yes, do I have a multi-tool with me at all times? Yes, of course I'm an adult.

I don't know why you keep calling your penis that, by the way, it's really weird. But like, none of these things in my life that I'm so proud of, these plaudits that I receive, none of it means anything to the bear. I have no skills for like anti-bear scenarios. I have nothing. Can I say, can I disagree with you on one point, Justin?

Okay, yes. As long as it's gonna be a serious compliment and not a backhanded joke. I don't, you tell me afterwards. You do have skills. You do have skills in the sense that you had option A, get to the car. You know what I mean?

Yeah, if you didn't know how to drive, you're a driver. Didn't know how to drive, didn't have access to an automobile. It's all holistic. You're one, this life that you've lived, it's one journey. And maybe it didn't take you down a path that is practical in any kind of survival scenario, imaginable, but it has granted you another path that has limited exposure to those types of dangers.

We do walk on that road quite frequently together as a family. Well, not anymore. No, I'm fucking done. Well, that's the thing, I'm like, I'm really thankful it didn't happen with my kids there. I mean, it's the obvious, but like, I think the way I would have reacted

to that bear in front of them would have shifted their viewpoints on me pretty irrevocably. But it would have given them a pretty big, like when they're like grownups and they're like, when did you learn that your parents weren't like superheroes and just foul-mouthed you? They would have had like a, you'll never believe it, but I have a very clear and concrete moment.

I have a specific memory. My dad was five feet in front of me and he saw a bear and he said, sorry girls, got a shag ass. And he sprinted back up the hill. No, Juice. It would have, Juice, it would have switched on for fucking sure. If your kids, if your beautiful babies were there

and you were confronted. Or your beautiful Buick. Your beautiful, if your beautiful Buick, it sounds like was there, but if your beautiful babies were there, it would have fucking switched on. The warrior. You think I would have activated.

The warrior would have activated. We, Justin would roll up to the next with Bim Bam recording and be like, what's up? And we'd be like, whoa, Justin, what is this? And we'd be like, this is the warrior. I had to fight a bear for my kids. And we would know like, oh, well, old Justin's, that guy's gone.

Old Justin's gone, this is warrior Macro. You can't make warrior Justin go back in the box. Can I just say, Justin, if you fight a bear to save your kids, I'll give you the alpha title handily. I will not fight with you. Now, can I ask you this, Justin? I understand that option A was get in your car and drive away.

That's a great option. Being honest with yourself, how far down the list do you think, pull out your phone, pull up some of my brother and my brother and me animated clips on your phone to try to prove to the bear that you deserve to exist in the world?

And be like, no, watch this one. You'll get it. You'll get it. I need to keep making. The bears are like, no, watch this one. You'll get it. You'll get it. I need to keep making. Bears are like, I'm more of a Maron guy. Oh no. Can I actually say, and maybe this is crass of me, I'm also impressed that you didn't try to make

some sort of video content out of the, I guess you made audio content out of it. God, podcasting's so fucking easy. We don't even have to do anything. You just have to talk about the shit after. Can you talk about what this show is so that I can do a new segment? Yeah. Oh boy.

Yeah. I'm sorry that I didn't fight the bear because I think that would have been really good podcast content. That's okay. I think seeing the bear, I was delighted by your story. When you are faced with a scary consequence,

I've always been told you have two options and you chose one of them. Yeah. Yeah. You chose flight, you flew to your car, you got away as fast as you can and I love that about you. Cause if you had fought the bear and lost, we would have had to cancel this podcast, Justin. Can't be me and Travis.

That's so sweet. Sweet. Thank you guys. The fact that you wouldn't continue on is very meaningful. Not at first. Thank you. We would get back together. Unless the bear took my spot, you might have to give the bear my spot. Is the bear funny? My brother, my bear, and me.

He's cracking me up right now. Just his existence. Brother bear and me. Grizzly man. My brother, a real goddamn living bear, and myself. And me. A disinterested third party, just trying to keep these two from killing each other. My brother, El Oso. And me.

Okay. The hard part too is if the bear had questionable political opinions, how do you address that? He's a bear. What are we gonna say? Me and Griffin are gonna talk to the bear and be like, hey, you need to calm it down.

Hey, stay chill, man. I'm already worried about people tracking himven are gonna talk to the bear and be like, hey, you need to calm it down. Hey, chill, man. I'm already worried about people tracking him down here in Honey to the milkshake bear and him finding out that he's got a real problematic past. Oh no. I can't endorse everything this bear has ever said or done. No, and I wish people would fucking stop asking you to. Thank you.

So this is My Brother, My Brother, Me. It's an advice show where we take your questions. For the modern era where we take advice and it's an alchemy like turn them into wisdom. Like turn them into wisdom. Why did that happen? Cause you didn't say it. Cause Travis is trying to set up a fucking segment

and he asked you to do it. And I thought everybody was enjoying the podcast. I'm sorry. Let me get, let me say it. Oh, I can't do it. I'll do it myself. I'm enjoying it. I just saw Travis about to bust over there

and I wanted to help. I wanted to just like move on, you okay. You know yeah, you can see it on his face, right? You can see it on his face. It's great. I'm not my delicate tantric edging Christ Bust on him is a new segment. I'm calling just checking in unbust. Here's what it is go back in Here's a new segment I'm calling, Just Checking In. Unbust. Here's what it is. Go back in. Here's what it is. DuMoi, the website and Instagram presence, DuMoi.

What is that? Published, DuMoi, D-E-U-X-M-O-I, posted some celebrity hotel requests. And now there's plenty of wild ones. I don't wanna talk about the wild ones. I wanna talk about the ones that I think us, specifically the three of us, if we have the option to like, what do you want? We'd be like, ooh, like the kid in fucking blank check,

what we would do. So I'm gonna give you the four celebrities, and then I'm gonna tell you the four requests, and you're gonna match the celebrities to the requests. Okay, I love this. Okay, Prince, Chance the celebrities to the requests. Okay, I love this. Okay, Prince, Chance the Rapper, Okay.

Tom Cruise, Okay. and Conan O'Brien. Oh, fuck yeah, this is gonna be easy as hell, man. Let's go. Yep. Okay, you ready? Yep, heck yeah.

A stocked freezer full of toaster strudel and nothing else. This is the best game you've ever come up with, Travis. I'm so excited for this game. I'm really, really proud for you. stocked freezer full of toaster strudel and nothing else. This is the best game you've ever come up with, Travis. I'm so excited for this game. I'm really, really proud for you. Okay. So the options again. Do you wanna hear all four of the requests at once or one at a time?

No, no, no, one at a time. No, I wanna tear them up. We gotta do it that way, because I won't be able to keep eight things. Pop-tart full of freezers. Pop-tart full of freezers. We got freezer full of Pop-darts. Toaster strudel.

Toaster strudels, nothing else. Thank you. We got Prince, we got Chance, we got Conan, we got Tom Cruise. I think this, without knowing the other things, I do kinda wanna hear the other things so I can make it more educated. I don't think it's good content, but I do think it'll make the game easier to win for me.

And I don't want to be honest. I don't want to be honest. That's, oh, okay. Toaster Strudel. I don't think it's Conan. I don't think it's Prince. I don't think it's Tom Cruise. I think it must be Chance. I think I know the least about Chance the Rapper out of these four.

It's definitely not Tom Cruise. We've 100% confidence about that. He's never eaten a toaster strudel in his fucking life. No way. Prince, Prince, Prince grew up very poor and it's possible that maybe toaster strudel is like a comfort item for him because a lot of those like quick prepared meals can end up as- Let me tell you where I'm at. very poor and it's possible that maybe toaster strudel is like a comfort item for him.

Cause a lot of those like quick prepared meals can end up as something feels good. Let me tell you where I'm at with this. It's self icing. I can't see Tom doing that. I honestly can't even see Conan doing that. Oh he couldn't, he's too tall. I think Conan is too old.

For Strudel? Sorry Conan. I don't mean, no, Conan you're not too old for Strudel. I didn't know there was an age old for Strudel. For Strudel? Sorry, Conan. I don't mean, no, Conan, you're not too old for Strudel. I didn't know there was an age cap on Strudel. I've been eating Strudel. At my age of 43, I know that if I eat, I know that that's gonna make me feel bad for show. A Strudel, yeah, for sure.

I'm saying Conan's been in the game for a long time. He knows that maybe Strudel's not, but maybe he just thinks it's hysterical. Okay, I'm gonna need a guess, Justin. I'm gonna say the energy of a Chance show, I feel like, is aided by getting that Strudel energy coursing through your veins before you start. I like that for him, I like that energy for him.

I'm gonna say Conan O'Brien, just cause it's hysterical. Griffin is correct, it's Chance the Rapper wants a freezer stocked with Toaster Strudel and nothing else. Nothing else, that's the best part, Chance the Rapper, don't fucking stocked with toasters, and nothing else. Nothing else, that's the best part, Chance the Rapper. Don't fucking ever change. Don't put other stuff in there. That's good shit, man.

Okay. Man, we should do this. No way. That's a good idea. A freezer stocked with toasters. Now here's my pro, no, you know what's cool about it? You know what I like about this move, though? If you order this on your writer, right?

Yeah. It shows up, it's there. But after that, what do you do with it? This is a problem for us with our fruit tray that we always ask for. This next tour, I'm gonna get into that thing finally. I know, I always promise it. Here's what we need to do.

We need to do that and the thing of whipped cream. I think if we do whipped cream, some toothpicks and fruit, that fruit's all gone. Wow, that's very fancy. But anyway, it's like, what do you do with it? This isn't gonna go to waste or frozen. You could just leave them for next year when chance comes back through.

Save that room for me, put a padlock on it. Next. Wall it up. A treadmill, a TV, and recordings of LA Kings games. Tom Cruise. Now hold on, this one's interesting. It's... No, it's Conan O'Brien.

No, no, it's Conan O'Brien. I'm pivoting, I'm switching, Conan O'Brien. It's NNN. No, it's Conan O'Brien. No, no, no, it's Conan O'Brien. I'm pivoting, I'm switching. Conan O'Brien, that's what I said. It could also be Prince though, I feel. It's definitely Prince. I'm switching, it's Prince. No, I don't think Prince, was Prince an LA Sports fan? I don't think so.

I think- I mean, he's the only one I know is a basketball fan. Conan's tall, he probably played. A treadmill, a microwave? What was it? A treadmill. Yeah. A TV. A TV.

And recordings of LA Kings games. Oh, okay. So you wanna walk on the treadmill while you watch LA Kings games. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It wouldn't be Prince. That's a very active show. Prince is gonna be running around on stage playing.

He does not wanna exercise before. That's a good point. A comedian who maybe wants to do that to get the dopamine flowing. But this is hotel, this is not green room, we're getting mixed up a little bit. This is hotel. Okay, you're right, you're right, you're right.

This isn't green room, so it's not like getting ready for the show. That's a great point Griffin, God, you're so smart. I think the fact that food isn't a part of it, I feel like Tom Cruise wouldn't want food delivered to his hotel room. I feel like Tom Cruise wouldn't want food delivered to his hotel room. I think that Tom Cruise wouldn't want that or need that because he will get some incredible fancy meal

through some of the- Or he's eating like blue cubes or something. He's eating some sort of cube light that he shoots into his tummy. I think this is Tom. By the lack of food alone, that's not to say that he doesn't eat, but that he wouldn't eat in the hotel room.

Is this not their entire thing? It's just like a thing, right Trev? Well yeah, but it's like the request that they made that stands out, yeah. Oh, so there may be food, oh fuck. All right. I'm gonna go with Conan O'Brien. Griffin?

It may be Conan, but I think I'll say Tom. It is Tom Cruise, that's two points. Justin, you talked yourself out of it. Justin, you pulled the trigger on Tom Cruise right away. It's obviously Tom Cruise. Now, I think I thought you, I don't think Conan would ask a treadmill to be delivered to a hotel.

I don't think Conan is that. That's a really good point, Griffin. I didn't know you were talking about that. That's a lot of juice. That's a lot of juice to squeeze. Yeah, that's a lot of juice. Okay, now, I'm going to give you the last two at the same time.

That's great. So as not to make the last one super easy.. We have Conan O'Brien would come on our show I love Conan O'Brien. I bet. They had us do some ads for their show didn't they? Yeah! We had an ad for Adventure Zone actually. Yeah, if you never heard Conan O'Brien doing an ad for Adventure Zone He said our name out loud at least. He said our name out loud. It's one of the happiest I've ever been If Prince was going to watch sports, it would be like Minnesota He wouldn't be watching. That's what I was thinking, that there would not be a.

Okay, so we have Prince and Conan left, right? Two incredibly similar titans. Similar titan, both guitarists. You ready? All spiders removed from terrace and no photos of horses anywhere in the suite. Okay. Or a basket of muffins. Ha ha!

Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! We even unintentionally pared this down to the funniest possible. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Do either Prince or Conan O'Brien want spiders removed from terrace and no photos of horses anywhere in the suite or a basket of muffins? Check this shit out!

Prince, muffins, spiders, Conan. The spiders thing is hysterically funny and strange and it could be one of those take all the red M&Ms out of the bowl and that's how you know whether or not they're paying attention to the writer or not. Because if you go out there and you see a spider, you're like, ahhh! But I think that this is so, it's too far to be Prince. I do not think it's real. I think this one's Conan. I think Muffins is Prince. Okay, I'll guess the inverse, just for fun.

Justin is correct. Fuck! Prince doesn't want spiders or horses in the room. Conan just wants Muffins. Why doesn't he want horses in the room? I don't know, man. Maybe he doesn't. I was recently drew a picture I don't know man, maybe he doesn't. I was recently drew a picture of a horse and put it up on my Instagram.

Drawing horse eyes really made me think about, it's haunting man. Horse eyes are haunting. I can see that there's something about a painting of a horse that feels very generic hotel art. Maybe if you're in a lot of hotels, it's just too depressing. Like you see a picture of a horse, you're like, not again. I'm, Travis, I hate to be. Maybe it reminds you of what being free, or freedom is. Freedom, yeah.

You're sitting there in a hotel room by yourself and you're like, oh, to be running free on the plains. I'll tell you what's fucking me up right now, Trav. I don't think this is, I think this is phony. I think this is, I think that's made up. I've been Googling Prince Hotel photos of horses, and I'm not getting anything. The problem, I will admit, is that

there's a lot of princely horses out there, and there's a lot of photos of horses on the internet. So this particular, maybe my heuristics are wrong. But until I get to the game. This wasn't my research. This was Jim Wah, and somebody who worked at the hotel told them. Okay. Great.

Fantastic. Great game, Travis. Incredible game. That was really fun. I love that. I'll play that again soon. Let's do it with writers, Trav. Find some smoking gun, find people's writers. Okay. In episode 710 of the hit podcast, by Brother, My Brother and Me,

Griffin brazenly and bravely said that carrying a skateboard by the trucks Over your shoulder is the only way to hold a skateboard I regret to inform you that it's actually called the poser hold I Regret to inform you all Griffin is indeed a poser that's from retired rad writer in Auburn, Maine Which is so interesting because Travis picks all the questions and this is not a question. Yes. So Travis. But then I put, Griffin, how do you respond?

Wait, you put that? Yeah. Yeah, Travis put that. Travis is editorializing. I'm trying to moderate here to start a dialogue. You've been called a poser, Griffin. I'm gonna enjoy some water. Technically, the poser hold, I believe,

is when you hold it by the trucks at your side. Also known as the mall grab, because that's where a poser would fucking hang out to make people think that they know how to skateboard. If you, and by the way, whoever sent this in, great gatekeeping you're doing. If this is the energy you wanna bring to the show. Some of us have sore backs and sore shoulders

and when we hold the skateboard like that, it feels better. It feels good to hold it that way. And if you kind of roll it up and down, it's kind of like a foam roller on your back. You can get some of the spots that are hard to reach with the wheels. Yeah.

I mean, if you want to see me land a couple tricks, I can set that up for you. Is it a skate off? Ooh. I mean, a skate off? I mean, don't land a couple tricks. I can set that up for you. Is it a skate off? Oh, I mean a skate off? I mean, don't start a downhill race. Don't start any shit and there won't be any shit. I'm not gonna come up to Auburn, Maine

to do a fucking 360 kick flip. Everybody has to start somewhere. Okay. Okay. Too true. And maybe they don't tell you at the skateboard shop when you went there last week that there's a right way and a wrong way to hold the skateboard.

And maybe that person- And maybe, retired person, maybe now it is cool to hold it, but maybe it's come around. Yeah, there's, the way that youth culture moves so quickly now- Yeah, Griffin, tell them about youth culture. It is heartbreaking, but I have to imagine

this skateboard youth culture is like turbo accelerated. I think you skip a couple days at the park and you show up and everybody's like, zoop my gruebel, and you're like, fuck man, I don't, god damn it, it's so fast now with these skateboard youths. You guys don't have anything to add about skate. You don't wanna, you guys are scared

to walk into this fucking hornet's nest. I missed, I missed the window. I missed the window. I got on the board in college and realized I missed the window. I didn't do this back when I, back when I didn't care to fall. I used to fall all the time.

It was no big deal. Now falling is a big deal. I'm pretty sure. Yeah man, sitting down wrong is a big deal, bud. You think I'm comfortable putting myself on a very slippery board? No, thank you. I'm also pretty sure during that question,

I did say the fact that I got on a skateboard as an adult and immediately was no longer in control of my sort of like gravitational axis and was like, oh no, never again for that for me. So I'm sorry I told everybody how to hold a skateboard, how to hold a skateboard wrong. I just think it's important to acknowledge that in 700, 713 episodes we do occasionally get like one or two things

wrong. A correction, yeah, sure. We, yeah, Griffin told everybody they were holding their skateboards wrong and then complained about gatekeeping. It's a fun, it's a fun guy. He's a complicated man I mean, I'll gatekeep true posers Yeah, yeah, yeah Deserve it. Yeah, but as long as they have a ticket they can come in the gate

Absolutely, but if you let people through the gate who don't have a ticket you're not doing your job Hold your board however you fucking want man. It's a hobby, it's a pastime. Get out there and have some fun. Hold it in your teeth. But these fucking mall grabbing posers, get out of here is what I'm saying. Get out of here, poser. Hey, you know what I'm gonna gatekeep?

The second half of this episode. Oh! Yeah, behind these incredible commercial messages, welcome to the Money Town. ["It's Bad Am I Losing You?" by The Money Town playing in the background.] We have a new sponsor for the first time in a long time. That's probably not good for us. It's probably not good, Griff. It's good that it's happening. I'm fucking out of my mind excited for this one.

I- Did you set yours up? What's that? Griffin, oh, you don't have a cat. I have a cat. Listen, Griff, I'm so excited about this new sponsor of ours. Litter Robot has made my life better. And I know that we say that about a lot of sponsors,

but let me tell you folks, this one, I mean it. I always mean it, but here's what I'm saying. I got this beautiful robot and it's got a big gaping hole that the cat can crawl in and it does its business. And then this beautiful baby turns the drum, right? And then the litter goes through the grate and only the clumps stay. So as it rotates back around,

you got a whole new fresh thing of litter, only the bad stuff's been removed. It's astounding. I put litter in it a lot less than I have to use for a regular litter box. And the cat can go in it here. It's got a scale. If you're in a multi-cat household, for example,

tell you which cat used the bathroom. It can tell you when the cat has used the bathroom. It could tell you when you need to replace something. It sends you notifications to your phone through the power of Wi-Fi. Stop scooping the litter box. It's awful. I had to scoop the litter box that I replaced this one with

out before I put it in, and it made me so gross out. And it's so happy to be doing it for the last time thanks to the litter box that I replaced this one with out before I put it in and it made me so gross out and it's so happy to be doing it for the last time thanks to the Litter Robot. As a special offer to listeners of this show, go to StopScooping.com slash my brother, enter promo code my brother to save an extra $50 on any Litter Robot bundle. That's an extra $50 off any Litter Robot Bundle at StopScooping.com slash my brother and enter promo code mybrother at checkout StopScooping.com slash my brother and my code mybrother. AI, if you want to come for scooping, go for it.

That one we'll put on the list. You can make... The robots can scoop the poop. You can cut and husk avocados and you can do litter box stuff. Griffin, I've noticed many of your clothes are ugly, yet mine are beautiful. Have you thought about this?

I don't think that's true. I don't think so. Everyone has spoken about Griffin's ugly clothes and my beautiful clothes. My secret? I'll let you in on it, Griff. Thanks for asking. It's Stitch Fix, where you can get a stylist

that understands your style, size, and budget, and they do all the shopping for you. So even someone like you, who clearly doesn't understand fashion well enough to leave their house, can have help. There's finally help for you, Griffin. You don't have to look like this anymore. You don't have to feel like this anymore. I do get Stitch Fix.

It is largely at this point, it is athleisure wear that I get from Stitch Fix. So I don't wear it on the show, because this is a workplace. This is exclusively bottoms, so I never see them. It's always just the top. No, there's tops too, and they're stylish. At the gym, everyone's like,

looking great, Griffin. And I give them a big thumbs up. I bet they do, Griffin, that sounds really nice. And I give him a big thumbs up. I bet they do, Griffin, that sounds really nice. And I give him a big thumbs up. Travis just joined us. Thank you, Travis. I'm just saying you don't have to call attention to. The clothes that Stitcherix did not send you are bad.

That's all I'm saying. No, the clothes that Stitcherix sent me are athleisure wear that I don't wear on the podcast. I wear my ugly clothes in here because I want to be focused on the art and the things I'm saying. You know who's focused is Stitch Fix stylists. They're going to ask you questions about your style, your budget. They're going to figure out some great clothes for you and then they're going to send you a box. You keep all the stuff you want, you send the stuff you don't want back. No big deal.

We've found so many cool clothes. We've all worn a ton of Stitch Fix over the years. That's true. We are lifelong, well not lifelong, because Stitch Fix is as old as me, but a long time fans for sure. Style that makes you feel as good as you look. Get started today at StitchFix.com slash brother. That's StitchFix.com slash brother. StitchFix.com slash brother. The greatest generation has been going on for more than eight years, and while it's the world's most beloved Star Trek podcast, we know it can be a little impenetrable. If you've been Greatest Gen curious but have never taken the leap, you could be forgiven for being a little bit intimidated. We recommend exploring your Greatest Gen curiosity in in a safe fun environment with partners

You can trust right now is one of the best times ever to become a new listener That's because we just started covering a new series Star Trek Enterprise one of the weirdest editions of Star Trek ever released This is your chance to ease into the greatest generation lifestyle the greatest generation now covering Star Trek Enterprise One with Scott Bakula every Monday on MaximumFun.org or in your podcast app. Hey, Sydney, you're a physician and the co-host of Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine, right? That's true, Justin. Is it true that our Medical History podcast is just as good as a visit to your primary care physician?

No, Justin, that is absolutely not true. However, our podcast is funny and interesting and a great way to learn about the medical misdeeds of the past as well as some current not so legit healthcare fads. So you're saying that by listening to our podcast, people will feel better. Sure.

And isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor? Well, you could say that, but- And our podcast is free? Yes, it is free. You heard it here, Forest Falk, Sawbones, Merrell Tuer, Miss Guy, The Medicine, right here on Maximum Fun, just as good as going to the doctor. No, no, no, still not just as good as going to the doctor,

but pretty good. It's up there. Do you guys wanna go wizard, or do you have a bit, Juice? Sometimes you clear your throat in a way that sounds like maybe you're about to do a guitar noise. Like to keep you on your toes, don't I? Well, I got a good one here. A lot of people sent it in.

This is a WikiHow article, and it is, from Alpha to Omega, a guide to the seven male personalities. This would be good for the stuff we were talking about earlier. First is Alpha, and then there's a Samantha, and then there's a Charlotte, and then you got Carrie. Carrie. And the other one.

And I think Carrie is the Alpha in that. Carrie, Charlotte, hold on. Samantha's the Alpha. Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, Jennifer. Bridget, Jennifer. What are you guys talking about? The fourth sex in the city. Samantha.

Samantha, we said Samantha. Charlotte, Charlotte, Carrie. Carrie. Jennifer. No. New York, and then the fifth one is, oh my God, she's married to Steve. This sucks, Miranda.

Carolyn, thank you. Miranda. Oh God. Miranda, Stephanie, Carrie, Carolyn. I apologize to whatever listeners were in that hell with us, screaming the word Miranda at your, for New York mayor.

All right, the seven male personalities. If you've been online recently, you may have heard phrases like beta and sigma male tossed around. While these terms may quite literally sound like a foreign language, because they're Greek, they're actually pretty simple monikers that pop culture sites like Vox, Reddit, and Twitter

use to describe various types of men. There are seven main personality types, each with its own unique strengths. Keep reading to learn each type of guy's best traits and careers. By the time you're done, you'll have all kinds of new information, pun intended, in you information, all right. Can I just say that there are many words that have been, that are so commonly used. Yeah.

That are based in a foreign language, that referring to them as a foreign language feels so weird to me. True. Yeah, man, but you know what alpha is. Yeah, it's alpha. Alpha males are strong-willed leaders who love to take charge.

Exuding charm and machismo, they're known for their natural confidence and exceptional leadership abilities. Anecdotally, alpha males are the bad boy of the male ecosystem. Now, that can't be, those both can't be true. These are naturally charismatic leaders and bad boys. That's two things. They can't.

Yeah, that's true. Because if you're a leader, you're making the rules. You can't also be breaking those rules. You can't be the Batman and Joker. There's no way that you can be part of those things. You would hate. Well, you gotta choose a lane. Choose a lane.

Yes, this is what I'm saying. It's like saying, oh, that person? They're the world's greatest detective and the world's greatest cat burglar. Exactly. Everyone, I mean, that would be. Actually, no, I'm way fucking into that. What you just said is fucking really sad.

Hey, TM, TM, TM, TM. Examples of alpha males in pop culture. William Wallace from Braveheart, Maverick from Top Gun, Leonidas from 300. Okay, we all fucking get this. Let's get. And Maverick from Maverick. And Maverick from Maverick. Well.

Two. Yeah. Beta males. Beta males are extremely. I thought you were about to list Two beta males. Beta males are extremely kind. I thought you were about to list two beta males. I thought it was about to be me and Travis. Just you and Travis. My beta, my beta and me. Which I'm certain in the world of Reddit

has been said before. Definitely has, definitely, definitely. Beta males are extremely kind and down to earth. Shyer and more reserved, beta males value personal relationships over material wealth or career achievements. Bob Colton suggests- This sounds like a nice thing you say to someone who's a beta.

Of like, no, no, no, no, what are you saying? This is what I'm saying. This bit here, betas are communicative, creative, and make great romantic partners. Common traits, friendly, gentle, selfless. They excel at doctor, nurse, social worker, teacher. Sam from Game of Thrones,

Phil from Modern Family, Ben from Parks and Recreation. Phil is, social worker, teacher. Sam from Game of Thrones, Phil from Modern Family, Ben from Parks and Recreation. Phil is, Phil's an alpha. I can't fucking possibly hear your Modern Family theories. We're not actually gonna do this, but I just wanna say, you know, it's weird that one is just clearly better.

Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Like we all agree that like, the ones that are in the beta, like, we all like that stuff. Like, that seems really good, actually. It seems like if everybody did that one, that seems pretty good to me. That's a fun one.

It seems like a good one. It's all very good stuff, much better. There's a lot of murder there. I like about this, I like about this article too, is that it is working really hard so far to ignore the cultural understanding of a hierarchy of these things. And it's just putting your fingers in your ears

as though alpha and beta have no relation to each other. It's just like listing astrological signs. Yeah, I took a personality test and it turns out I'm a cup. I appreciate they're having fun with something that is completely made up, phony baloney malarkey bullshit. Yeah, right.

You may as well. How are there more of these? Oh, there's five more, Juice. It, right? You might as well. Right. And speak- How are there more of these? Oh, there's five more, Juice. It's impossible. That's what I'm saying. Those are the two kinds of people there are. Bad and good.

I feel like- That's all there are. You two just pushed all your chips onto the space on the table that said beta. I'm saying there's five more and some of them are pretty clear. You're saying we might connect more with something else? You might connect with- Some of the lower tiers?

A gamma male. Gamma males are the life of the party. Like Hulk. Like a Hulk. Thank you, Justin. Equally creative and adventurous. Don't step in betas. This is all beta has.

You can't fucking say that. You can't be like, oh, Scorpio is very, like, you know, fucking sensual. So is Virgo and Gemini. Virgo is just as good without the weakness to sunlight. You can't just have one class that's- Equally creative and adventurous, they're often portrayed as fun-loving men of culture.

They love to travel and believe their purpose in life is to have fun, rich, fulfilling experiences, ideally in exotic locations. Loud and bombastic, they're constantly on the move and can create powerful friendships wherever they go. This one's not us, but it's- I mean, this is Joey from Friends, Tom from Parks and Recreation,

Jay Gatsby from The Great Gatsby. You could be an actor, you could be an event coordinator, you could be a pilot, you could be a travel agent. God, I'd love to see a Great Gatsby starring Tom from Parks and Recreation. Yeah, that would be a wild one. If you're a Gamma male, your adventures are probably life-changing, but give yourself a little time

to settle down every once in a while. Double an alpha. There's like- I'm a gamma with alpha rising. I'm a- My alpha moon is, I don't even know enough about fucking this. Yeah, I know that's why I said what I said

and I got out of the bit. Yeah, that's a good choice. Okay, none of us are gammas. There's like six gammas on earth. There's no fucking way there's more of them. Delta males. Stanley Tucci is a gamma. Stanley Tucci is a gamma.

Galpha, I think. Oh yeah, yeah. Okay. Delta males are very responsible and keep the world moving, okay? Getting closer. They get a lot of sky miles. Highly adaptable, deltas are known

for their competence and work ethic rather than their leadership and ambition. Delta males love learning new skills for the sake of improving themselves not for power or extrinsic Extrinsic successes because of this they often have a very healthy work-life balance. Nope. I'm out They're dependable and unpretentious every male friend group benefits from Delta males I ain't Delta. You could be an accountant. You can be a dentist You can be an engineer or a firefighter,

like Jim from The Office or Higgins from Ted Lasso. Jim is not a, what? A firefighter. Oh, that's right, Jim is a firefighter, I forgot. Firefighter doesn't work there. If someone said, you know, similar professions, like an accountant, a dentist, a firefighter, one of those jumps out at you. You might not be able to put your finger on why.

And I'm not shit talking accounting or dentistry. I'm saying- Those shouldn't be in the same category as what you're saying. I think firefighters are gamers. You never hear a dentist like, how was your day, honey? He's like, I'll be honest, hon, the whole fucking office collapsed on me and shit, it really sucked ass

Yeah, cuz it was fucking on fire and it the whole roof just collapsed in on me Firefighters I think are gammas because I think there is a secret part in every firefighters heart that when that bell goes off They look at each other like time for another fire adventure like We're about to go do something fucking crazy. If you don't like, I know it's not all glamour, clearly. It's an incredibly dangerous job. Incredibly dangerous and probably born for most of it. Society benefits. Right? That's most jobs.

But, all we're saying is, if you are the sort of person that does not love fire adventures, you're probably not in that job. That's all I'll say. If you don't love fire adventures, you're probably getting a different gig. This is what I'm saying, 100% of you, when the bell rings, 100% of you does not say, here we go again. Oh no.

Some more fire. Yeah! Yeah, I'm gonna kick that fire's fucking ass. Cool, I'm gonna go kill an objectively bad thing that everyone hates. You might not be glad that somebody's house is on fire, but you're glad you get to fight it. That you get to do that shit.

Anyway, if you don't wanna have Fire Adventures, we have six other male categories that you can go into. If you're a firefighter listening to our show, please email us to admit that you do kind of love Fire Adventure. Do not email us to say you don't because you're lying. To us, which is bad, to yourself, which is worse. And to God, which is the worst.

Thank you for fighting fires. It's okay. Thank you. It's okay, and honestly, I think kind of good if you like going on fire adventures. I think that's a good part of yourself you should embrace. I want my fighter coming in with a certain amount of venom and vigor.

I don't want them like, ah. Can I introduce you all to the Zeta male? Yes, please. Zeta males are- I like the sound of this already. Zeta males are one of a kind progressives. There's a reason the Zeta male is the least talked about, personality type, and pop culture. Cause you just made it the fuck up.

Just now you made it up. Catherine Zeta males like to tell me about. See, here's the thing. They're rare nonconformists who don't care what people think, they know themselves and refuse to change to fit into the rigid social standards of society. Zeta Males are fierce creators who blaze new paths

for themselves and others. Careers they excel at, actor, artist, musician, writer. Podcaster. You think? Chief Dreamer in charge. You think Zeta? I can see that for you, Trav, actually. I do like that for you, Trav.

We're talking about John Keating from Dead Poets Society, we're talking about Cam from Modern Family, a lot of Modern Family references in this article. Talking about Augustus from the Fault in Our Stars. I think Trav, if you wanna own Zeta, there's two more left. You can't be a Zeta, you can't be a Zeta, you want outside approval too much.

That is true. You can't be a Zeta. We all do. Well, I think I've grown into a Zeta, Justin. I maybe started as a Zeta. You'd like to think so, wouldn't you? Why, I need less outside approval, don't you think? Don't you agree? Do you think I need less outside approval?

What do you think? Why, why, why? Am I asking you what you think? What do you think, Justin? Just tell me, tell me I'm a Zeta, please. Justin, Justin, please. Please. You're a Zeta, just tell me, tell me I'm a Zeta please. Justin, Justin please. You're Zeta, you're Zeta, you're Zeta. I think this is what the three of us in our Heart.

Most delusional moments. Yeah. Are what we convince ourselves that we are like, me, I'm kind of an iconoclast. Oh really? You're a middle-aged white podcaster. Okay, when they made you, they broke the mold, bro. Wait, what's that? You got two kids? I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid.

I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid.

I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid.

I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. I'm a big kid. They have every one of these plays by their own rules. There's like one that plays by their rules.

They play by their rules and then as a mentor they teach you those rules. Yes. In excruciating detail. They have all the confidence of alphas but aren't interested in power or social status. They have enough life experience to follow their own moral compass and spend their time helping other people discover their inner power. Sigma men's natural wit, intuition, and sense of persuasion earn them the respect of their peers though they're comfortable enough in themselves to not need it.

We're talking about Ferris Bueller, we're talking about Hawkeye from MASH, we're talking about fucking Gandalf. Yeah. So... Yeah, man. Think of any character, I know this is Sigma's, I've heard this discussed in some YouTube videos I watched. I've literally never... I endorse again. I've never this discussed in some YouTube videos I watched. I've literally never- I'm not endorsing it. I've never heard that clear.

Travis, please stop screaming. This is not the soundboard now. I'm watching you on video. You can't scream so close to the microphone. And you especially can't scream the word sigma into the microphone. People are gonna make a ringtone, man. That clip.

Careful. I've heard this word bandied about without being asked to look it up. I've never bothered to find out what this word bandied about without being asked to look it up I've never I've never bothered to find out what this word means and I don't know if this is accurate even a little bit But I know in a movie or TV show or whatever where there's a character who wants to be like amazing at something and They come upon a mentor who's like been out of the game for or like a recluse and they're like, yeah I get off the best. I don't care anymore, right? And it's like, I did it, I'm amazing at it.

That's all that mattered to me. That's a Sigma. But here's- So a Sigma is, if I can understand this correctly, Sigma is like a calcified Alpha that still has a little bit of Alpha juice hidden inside. That a more dedicated Alpha has to come along and crack the sigma open

to suck out the alpha from them and then leave them dead. That's their only value is that they have that alpha juice in them to harvest. Logan in Logan is a sigma. Yes, Wolverine is an alpha. Are there any more on the list, Dingleberry? I'm an alpha now. Yeah, there's one more.

Omega Male. Fuck yeah, I found it. I don't think so, just sounded like you were pretty on board with that one. Omega Males are skilled introverts who don't need external validation. Pop culture portrays them as the shyer, more reserved yin to the Zeta male's yang.

What? It does? Have I been watching the wrong TV shows? I haven't seen a lot of Omegas or Zetas. I'm worried this is made up. I'm sort of, I respect the Zeta male's yang, but I yin to that. Yeah. They're independent and very comfortable

in their own company. They'd rather spend time coming up with usually brilliant new ideas and inventions of their own instead of socializing with others. They have uncouth but delightful senses of humor and their theories often change the world for the better. We're talking about chemist, composer, inventor, mathematician, firefighter.

I wanna try and guess the two. Here's what I would say. Abed from Community and Ludwig Von Drake. Those would be my two pop culture I mean we actually got Bran. We got Bran from Game of Thrones The the the healthy cereal choice Bran from Game of Thrones. We got Sherlock Holmes from Sherlock We Bran from Grain of Throne? Bran from Grain of Oats Stupid show. I don't want to do it Bran from Grain of Oats. Stupid show.

I don't wanna do it. Brand from Grain of Oats? Why did they even make it? I don't know, man. I've been thinking so many years of it, fuck. We got Dexter from, we got Dexter. But only four seasons of Westworld, you tell me. I don't know.

Where's the crime? We've also got Dexter from Dexter's laboratory. Oh, okay. That's much different. That's a bunch different from what Ixter's laboratory. Oh, okay. That's much different. That's a bunch different. That's not what I thought you were gonna say. All right, guys, those are the seven. Alpha, beta, gamma, delta, zeta, sigma, omega.

I feel like omega is maybe the ultimate douche one to pick. I feel like you have to actually, if someone says, yo, I'm an alpha, you kind of like know what they're about. If someone says like, yeah, I'm an omega, there's a sinisterness, there's a secret sinisterness to that that I feel like is way more concerning.

Here's my question for you. Yeah. Because it's, does being proud of being a beta stop you from being a beta? Yes. You can be a beta so hard that you become an alpha. That's true. Yeah, right? Because if you're betaing by your own rules.

Yeah. Let me support you! Yeah. Let me be here for you! You know what, actually, shit, that actually sounds like stuff I've said before. I need to rethink this a little bit. Maybe I'm an alpha beta. Maybe that's true. That's entirely possible. I'm forcefully, like Sydney will sometimes tell me about problems and she doesn't say fix them,

but I just start trying to fix them, you know what I mean? Like I don't even, I wasn't even asked for that and I just kind of foisted on. I think that makes you a bad listener. Okay, bad listener. But that's a very alpha move. An alpha listens by their own rules. Yeah. I don't make a lot of eye contact. Bad listeners. But that's a very alpha move. An alpha listens by their own rules. Yeah. I don't make a lot of eye contact,

which I feel is a very alpha move. I think the world needs more deltas, and so I'll be that one. Which one's that? Is that the travel one? Hard working, loyal response. The world doesn't even- The firefighting engineer.

The firefighting engineer. They fucking miss the boat not making delta travel. Come on. What do you mean? Yeah, it's right there. Delta. Think about it. Thank you Griffin for sharing that with us.

Sure. Here's our first question of the episode. I'm at a local- That's not true. I mean, we did say the skateboard slam wasn't a question, you're right. That wasn't really a question as much as it was. Wow, you really jumped in to shut me down there before you took a second.

Didn't even think about it, you're right. To see if my hand was at my head. That was real alpha behavior of me though, wouldn't you say? A little omega. Ooh. I am two hours into a four hour flight. I desperately need to blow my nose. There's a gentleman next to me asleep

with napkin on his tray table. The napkin is sitting under his complimentary biscoff. Can I grab the napkin and use it to blow my nose? Should I use the button to call the flight attendant and request a napkin? Should I just wake the gentleman up? Or am I being condemned to blowing my nose on my shirt for the next two hours?

Jesus Christ. Sincerely sniffles. You are- This is good. We know it's not two of those, right? Yeah, there's a couple of those you know is fucking outrageous. You can't have a shirt- You're not gonna- And you're not gonna wake the guy up? No, you can't. You can't have a surety. You're not gonna wake the guy up.

No, you can't. You can't wake the person up. Here's what I will say. One time I got a bloody nose on a flight. The worst. And I had nothing there. I was trying to hold it and press the call button and the flight attendant,

I feel like it was the first time that this had ever happened on a plane, which is hard for me to believe. The barotrauma afflicted by an airplane comes for all of us. So she gets me to think, but that was so, like that's such a firm memory. I always have a napkin like on my person while traveling.

Like I have to have a napkin. If you took my one napkin I had for anything that I wanted to do napkin-wise, I would be livid. I would absolutely notice, I would clock it, and I might speak up, but I probably not, but I might. Well, this person clearly, Justin, will never make this mistake again, but you've just given them maybe the least helpful advice

that's ever been dispensed on this show, which is why don't you have a fucking napkin? They're the one emailing about a flight they took a few days ago, asking for advice. I mean, I don't know what to tell you. This They're the one emailing about a flight they took a few days ago to ask you for advice. I mean, I don't know what to tell you. This could be in the air. This could be in flight. If you're nailing, if you're like limiting it

to these four options, the best one is taking, is taking the napkin. Because, because once the person wakes up and realizes the napkin is gone, a napkin can be replaced by a flight attendant or some other means. But I think ringing a call button to have the flight attendant come back

so that you can get, then they have to go back and get a single napkin and bring it back to you. I had to walk over here so I can tell you, I got a big, big question. Yeah, I have a few. Is not addressed in this question. And you know what mine is? Yeah.

What the fuck did you do with your napkin? Oh, that was weird. Did you wave off snacks? Where's your napkin? Did you wave off snacks? Did you not wanna, you didn't want a crunchy biscoff cookie? You didn't want a biscoff though? It's the only good thing about flying

is they give you a cookie. And it's sealed in a package. Biscoff in a biscoff in a coffee or a biscoff in a ginger ale a coffee or a biscuit and a ginger ale. Out of sight. That's a flight. Even if you don't want it then, You save it for later.

You're gonna want it. Put it in your backpack. I always take the snack. I tuck it in the little thing. You know how many times I've reached in my shirt pocket to find a sweet relief of a biscuit cookie. I ate a mini Kindbar yesterday that I got on a flight fucking five days ago.

Yeah. It's a Kindbar, it'll keep. My question was, is the biscuit unwrapped? bar yesterday that I got on a flight fucking five days ago. It's a kind bar, it'll keep. My question was, is the Biscoff unwrapped? But then I imagine the scenario in which this man was like, oh thank you for my Biscoff, rip, let me set out my napkin and one, two, and time for a little, I'll be back for you Amber Beauties later, now I have something to look you, Amber Beauties, later.

Now I have something to look forward to and visualize in my dreams. Good night, boys. Papa's got friends. I think the most, but it's also wild if he did that, if he was like, a snack for me, thank you, set it down right there. I think this person-

I like a little snack after a nap to get my blood sugar back up. Yeah, but you don't leave it- Don't leave it out. You don't leave it out? Okay, who's got their tray down while they're sleeping? That's wild. That's wild.

This person, that's the only thing I can think. They deserve to have their napkin taken. You're right, Justin. I think they might've died. Hey, you should check on them. I'm gonna go even further. I'm gonna say- In which case, take the napkin.

This person doesn't know that they've gotten this flight gift. Take the nap case, take the napkin. This person doesn't know that they've gotten this flight gift. Take the napkin, take the fucking disc off. Fucking cookie. Yeah. They're asleep. They came back. They don't know. They came back and took them back.

That's weird. Yeah, it was weird. They said, is that trash? I think they eat all the ones we don't eat in the back of the plane. Maybe, is there someone who's been talking loudly to a stranger next to them the whole flight? Cause blame it on them.

They deserve something good. Yeah. You do that? You don't do that Griffin. What? Talk loudly to a stranger? I've never- No, okay.

What the fuck? You know who I am. I know who you are. I thought you said, I do that. I was like, you don't do that. We know who you are. You're somebody who just listened to an entire episode of My Brother, My Brother, Me,

an advice show from the Majinera. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I think we should maybe do our regular stuff. Yeah, we should do the thing where we like say, like- I started the podcast over. This is back at the beginning. Oh, okay, yes. I accidentally said the beginning part,

so we gotta start it over. Okay, oh man. Sorry, guys. I gotta cancel a lot of stuff today. gotta start it over. Oh, okay. Oh, man. Sorry, guys. I gotta cancel a lot of stuff today. Give me a moment. Sorry, guys. Hey, you know, we didn't even mention,

how did we get fucking this far into the episode without mentioning the fact that you two are twinning? And I'm just here in what does, have you noticed? Well, we finished our softball game, game straight, it's a recording. That'd be fun. They're both wearing baseball tees. I would love to watch the three of us on our game straight, it's a recording. That'd be fun. They're both wearing baseball team.

I would love to watch the three of us on our baseball team. It would be so funny. That'd be cool. Hey, we got some live shows coming up, including some ones that you maybe don't even know about yet. Obviously Kansas City, St. Louis, Tysons, here June 21st through the 23rd, you know we're coming for you.

But hey, I'm about to say a bunch of cities, and guess what cities, we're coming to you with Mbembem and sometimes Taz. In July we're going to be in Detroit and Cleveland, September, Orlando, Florida, and Atlanta, Georgia, October, Denver, and Phoenix, November, Indianapolis, and Milwaukee. June tickets are on sale now. All the other shows go on sale this Friday at 10am local time, local to the cities in which we are performing. We're also going to be at Gen Con in August, and tickets for that is on sale now. If you go to bit.ly slash McRoy Tours, you can find out the specific dates.

Grab tickets, get more information this Friday, 10 a.m. local time. Come see us. So far, the 20 Fungalore Tour has been a fucking club banger. It's been so fun, and we've been doing Taz versus Dracula for the live shows, which has also been like a wild hoot. And you're gonna love it. Come see us.

I'm gonna do a bit of a call to shy here because we're recording this on Thursday, but I wanna say thank you to everybody who came out to Champions Grove this weekend, no matter how it goes, hopefully very well. But I'm glad that you all came out and I hope everybody had a great time. It's so weird to do this ahead of time,

but this comes out Monday. so I wanna say thank you to everybody who attended. Thank you so much. Hey, thanks to Montane for these for our theme song, My Life Is Better With You, empowering a ballad of affirmation and- If you're gonna get into a fight with somebody, you could listen to that song first.

And I was gonna say I'd pump you up, but it actually might cool you down in a way that you're like, maybe actually make a new friend. Yeah, sure. Maybe put down the fist and pick up the kiss, if they wanna kiss, if it's like, you get it. We get it, yeah, everybody knew. Yeah, it's time for our wish, it's time to elevate a wish.

So I need you boys to give me a little background soundbath. Okay. a bit of wish, so I need you boys to give me a little background sound mouth. Wahh. I wish the McAvoy's knew about the axolotl I recently met named Lil Mayonnaise. Ha ha ha. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin, this one worked, we did,

this one has been blessed. Not connected, no causation. I'm Griffin McElroy This has been my brother my brother may kiss your dad square on the lips It's better with you. My life, ah ah ah ah ah. It's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah ah ah ah ah. It's better, it's better with two. My life, ah ah ah ah ah. It's better of you. Maximum Fun, a workaround network of artist-owned shows.

Supported directly by you.