My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 763: The Revenge Pope

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

It's everyone's favorite badass podcast featuring Arkansas Spike, Potato Dog, and The Wizard of Bikes. We've got all the cool news about Walton Goggins, advice about which Ghostbuster to marry, and a warning for the American Pontiff.Suggested talking points: Forty over Forty, Kill Kill Marry, Are Minions Smurfs Without Souls, Notice Me Goggins-SenpaiCenter for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? One, two, three, four! It's the start of something beautiful A small acquaintance has blossomed It's ripened into a precious friendship I could've never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach

My life, it feels like My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with you This is true, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two My life, ah, it's better with you.

Hello everybody and welcome to My Brother, My Brother, and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. What's up, Trav Nation? It's me, your middle-est brother, Travis Vroom Vroom McElroy. And it's me, your sweet baby brother, 30 under 30 media luminary, Griffin, built for, McElroy. And it's me, your sweet baby brother, 30 under 30 media luminary, Griffin, Built for Tough, McElroy. Another tough week for the 30 under 30 crowd, by the way, I don't know how close

you guys keep tabs on this, but every once in a while, a think piece does get written about how many dang many of us went to jail for fraud and other bad stuff. And it's like, yeah man, I mean, I barely squeaked on there. I don't like, I know I say it a lot, but I don't really own that, you know what I mean? Do you feel bad, Griffin, that you haven't committed fraud

or ended up in jail yet? Like, maybe you haven't squandered your potential enough? I cannot stress to you enough, Travis, how disruptive to my whole life jail would be. Well, that's why they're called disruptors, Griffin. Well, they should be called disrupted if they are being the ones imprisoned. But no, I don't regret that.

I don't wanna do that stuff. I live in fear of the fact that I don't wanna accidentally do fraud. I thought you were just gonna stop at the end of I live in fear. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah. Yeah. You're afraid you might accidentally do fraud. I thought you were just gonna stop at the end of I live in fear. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah. Yeah. You're afraid you might accidentally commit fraud?

I'm afraid I might accidentally commit fraud cause I don't know what it is. It's basically you say you're gonna do something and then you don't do it. Have you ever done that? I mean, all the time. I, oh boy, oh boy. All the time, little stuff.

Well, Griffin, I'm wearing a wire. This has all been, I'm part of the 40 over 40 that are sent to collect the 30 under 30 and bring them in. It's kind of like that old, like, which is liable and which is slander thing. It's a conversation I've had so many times that I start to wonder, like, am I publicly lying about people too much?

Is that too much a fixture of my life that I'm having to figure out? I start to wonder like, am I publicly lying about people too much? Is that too much a fixture of my life that I'm having to figure out? I have to remember all the time which crime is which. It's too, is it too late to add that into our intro to like add it and like, if any of this sounds like libel, it's slander. It's not. It's just slander.

And I think that's the good one. This is one of those things that I definitely definitely learned in my journalism ethics classes And now I just think I remember but I bet you if I did even a cursory Google search I would realize I don't know I don't remember any of the botany class I took in college But yours seems more important to your everyday life for this exact moment, yeah. Okay, I mean let's keep each, let's mirror each other, because we have so few other support systems in our lives. And I'll let you guys know if it seems like you're starting to do fraud, and you guys check me too.

Yeah, cool man, because I know it would be disruptive to your life, Griffin, but in many ways, it would also be disruptive to my life if you went to prison, because I don't think they let you podcast from there. It would wreck our whole shit, man, yeah. And God, I hope this clip isn't, like I have no intention of committing

any kind of major crimes, and I'm saying that now. The more you say it though. I know it sounds suspicious, the more I kind of emphasize it, but this clip is gonna be uncomfortable. Are we on a similar haircut schedule, guys? I'm looking around. I think we have synced up, yeah.

I think we've synced up, guys. Well, it's that time of the year when a young man's fancy turns to haircuts, you know? I think it's about a week or two before we go to do live shows, is about. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We should probably go get a haircut. Hey guys, is this anything?

American Pontiff, stay away from JD. Is that anything? Stay away from JD? Yeah, JD Vance. He kills popes. Oh American Pontiff stay away from JD It's something It is something cuz the other one was he is an American Pope No, no, no, no, no the Lenny Kravitz keep the stay on Kravitz always good on Kravitz American Pontiff. How bad do you guys wish that Protestants also had like a king?

How dope would that be? Like I'm so jealous of my Catholic friends. I have so many Catholic friends, you guys. All right, we get it. Because they have like the one guy who's like, it's cool, but on Protestants it's like, we got like 80 different people. It must be nice to have a religious king that you can, one, point to to justify things,

but also to blame things on. Right. Is Justin leaning out of frame, and anytime we talk about the Pope for like, it kind of seems like you were afraid there would be a Sinead O'Connor sort of situation. Is it real? Are you that uncomfortable with it?

Or what do you think is gonna happen? Okay, it's an audio podcast, so doing a hand puppet's- It's an audio podcast, now we can see you're making a little- Yeah, a hand puppet's will work. No, the truth of the matter is, gentlemen, I did something to my chair this morning. I pulled a lever.

Justin, I thought for sure you were hiding from the bit. No, I did something to my chair this morning during Besties this morning, and I podcast so consecutively that I don't have the time to get in here and really figure out. So the problem is, if you review the video footage that has been taken of me today, there are at least four of me leaning back a little bit

and then absolutely falling. And then there's a couple of minutes of me fiddling with the chair and saying, what fucking lever did I pull that made it so I can't lean back without falling anymore? And guys, that's the truth of the matter. That's where I'm at. It's not that you're uncomfortable discussing the pope.

No, I love discussing the pope. I love discussing the pope. Sydney's actually a little disappointed that I don't, I'm not following, I wasn't following it more closely. She texted me like, white smoke. I'm like, oh man. Seems like they cracked it.

I don't know a ton about the process. But it seems like they cracked this one pretty fast, huh? I think that all the popes looked at America and thought they have been crushing it. Yeah, sure. That is, we have got to get on board the hype. American leaders are doing it right. We gotta get on board the hype train.

America fever, which is what they should call COVID. America fever is just sweeping the globe and we gotta get, America, you've earned it, says God. You've heard of the American, the British invasion. Now it's time for American fever. Here's what I think happened. JD killed the old pope, right? JD Vance.

Well, I'm not saying he directly did it, but I'm saying he was there, and then three days later, pope was dead. That's all I'm saying. He may have killed the pope in the sense that like a spoonful of sugar could cure your hiccups if you happen to the hiccups leave you after you eat some sugar.

I'm just saying that in some way, JD Vance is attached rather either causallyally or historically to the Pope's death. Right. And then they looked through American Pope's tweets and saw him bad mouthing JD Vance at some point. Yeah. And then they were like, oh, cool. We're gonna put him in, take that Pope killer Vance.

Yeah. And now he's there for payback. This is a revenge pope. Oh, cool. I, guys, here's my most embarrassing thing. That when I will say when the new pope got up to do his address, I had a moment where I thought,

oh man, he knows Italian. I was so impressed. That is cool. I thought he was about to bust out like a fully American. Hey, what's up you guys? Exactly. Hey dudes, thanks a ton. I'm a trick ass.

When I heard American Pope, I think in my head I was picturing John Goodman. You know what I mean? Yeah, this was a like, we look through the Pope family tree and it seems the last living pope is John Goodman Everyone everyone cares so much about the nationality of the Pope. I want to talk about Pope size Give us a huge Pope

Give us a John Goodman sized Pope a big burly just a mount a wall of Pope a huge mound of Pope Big ol wall of Pope. Big ol' wall of Pope. Big ol' wad. Gimme that. But I'm proud that he did learn Italian. What are you doing? You think he learned Italian after becoming Pope?

No, I think that he learned Italian way before that. I'm just embarrassed to think that it like, I was really impressed by how good his Italian was. And then I thought, you probably don't get to that level, unless you've gotten pretty good at Italian. He would probably have a hard time getting around in Vatican City, instead of asking for directions, trying to find where the bathroom is, ordering food, if he didn't speak Italian. Yeah, that's probably, that's-

I actually heard guys, the night before they sent that smoke up to say, it's Leo, bitch, they- It spelled that out when it went up. It spells it out like a sky writing thing. He didn't know any Italian, but then they were like, hey, we're gonna pick you tomorrow, but first you gotta cram for this big Italian test. He learned it all in one night.

Morpheus showed up and put the chip in his brain. Put the chip in his brain. And he took that test the next morning, and the principle of the Vatican came up and said, you did it, you did it son. And then he became the Pope. The whole thing's just so neat. I just wish we had some neat stuff.

Anything, any kind of neat stuff. Ritual, whatever. I've gone to Catholic mass with Teresa a couple of times, you know, when I was still trying to impress her parents before they found out what I did for a living. And I love all the showmanship, the passion tree, all the dogma stuff I'm not wild about, but I like the incense and stuff, that's chill.

When you roll up to the mass, you should be given a little punch card and you tell them which parts of it you wanna like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause all the stuff about the chanting and then you pass a cup around or whatever, it's like, whoa, this is like arcane magic. But then when you talk a long time about.

Yeah, I'm not worried about that part. If I could leave before that part starts. The censures, the braziers, fuck yeah dude. Here for it, Dark Souls, man, I'm here for it. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah. When you can trade in all the souls you've collected for upgrades, I love that part. And you can always tell too,

the transitions need a little bit of work because it'll be like, oh, Miss Diomflavon, and they have like the censors throwing smoke around, and they're like, this weekend I went to Denny's with my kids. Like, oh man, can we not take a smoother step from ritual into-

I think even if the priest starts talking about hanging out with these kids, there's a lot of question marks happening in the room at that point. Yeah, I guess they're not really supposed to have those darn things. No, they're not. They could have a couple kids, but they get like a lot of kids. I think the kids have to happen before the priesthood part. You can have kids grandfathered in, I think. Well, where are we getting new priests, guys?

This doesn't make any fucking sense. They just keep finding them. They just keep finding them. My papaw was a priest. Hold on, wait. Wait, hold on, hold on. That should have ended his line. This summer, I'm going to meet Walton Goggins

at a convention. I'm absolutely petrified. I'm gonna shit the bed. The last convention I went to in 2023, I waited in the autographed line for hours to meet an actor I really admire. As soon as I got up to the table, I completely froze. I barely remember the conversation. We share a name.

He asked how I was finding it. And all I remember saying was, it's misspelled a lot actually. And he was kind enough to laugh. My question is this, how do I face down Walton Goggins and not completely blackout like last time, or maybe even make a good impression?

Mm. Who's that from? That's from, well, it's in a total tizzy in Texas. But I assume it's from a Travis. They talked about having the same name as an actor they admire. Must be me, right? Yeah, man. I imagine.

They've seen my work in CISO's My Brother, My Brother, Me. Yeah, Texarkana Waltz. Texarkana Waltz in college, yeah. In college, they definitely surrounded him on the stage. I feel, I think it's because of the accent. Walton Goggins is like one of the very, very few celebrities that I feel like I would say hey to. Like I feel like I would, just from the accent,

I feel like it would be a rare enough thing for him to encounter somebody from, you know, has a little bit of a twang, if you will. Right. And I feel like it would really put him at ease, and I think we'd connect. Yeah. I will say, it's hard for me to separate

having first become aware of him through Justified, as I believe a lot of people did, that I think of him as kind of a hometown hero-esque thing, and then I have to remind myself, he's a very famous successful actor, and he doesn't live in Ashland. He's not from Nahal. Travis, okay, yeah, you're hitting on it, Trav.

You just said so confidently that Walton Goggins has maybe a bit of an Appalachian twang, but then I saw you second guess, does he actually have that, or am I thinking of his character in Justified? He's from Atlanta, Georgia, I believe. Okay. I mean, yeah, but like I'm saying,

yes, okay, that's fair. I am projecting a little bit. I think that that is accurate, but it does seem pretty relaxed. Do you think if you rolled up wearing a pair of Walton Goggins goggles that- I'm sorry. Walton Goggins goggle glasses.

Put some respect on the name, please. If you roll up wearing Walton Goggins goggle glasses, is that a point in your favor or do you think it's trying to harm? I'm gonna grab mine real quick. Yeah, get it for the clip because I would love, I've been trying so hard to get the brand going. I feel like it's a brand deal that's just waiting to happen for my brother and me.

I would love to have Walton on the clubhouse to pitch the Walton Goggins' goggle glasses. It's another free ad for Walton Goggins' goggle glasses. Here are my brother, my brother. Griffin, you just became so much more likeable. I don't know if they make them in a jumbo size for gentlemen of perhaps a larger head carriage. You look great.

But I love the way I look. I don't, but can I swim with them? Like if I showed up to the meet and greet with Walton Goggins and was like, love them, but can I swim in them? Can I weld in them? Can I weld in them? Can I weld in them? You call them goggle glasses, you need to be very clear about what these things can do.

I mean, they're a little pricey for walking goggles, goggle glasses, but if you did go to the meet and greet wearing them, you're right that that would, I mean, that gets you through the interaction. That gets you through, you need nothing else. You need nothing else. Hey, I see your glasses, point. Hey, I have the that gets you through the interaction. That gets you through, you need nothing else. You need nothing else. Hey, I see your glasses.

Point. Hey, I have the glasses. The connection's been made. I tell you that when I've done meet and greets with folks before, I tell you the only problem that I ever have is the hearing. If the story, if the thing that they're trying to communicate is too complex, my brain is not in a place where I can process that. A lot of sensory stuff going on. There's a lot.

So keeping it tight, I love you. Acting, fantastic. I love you acting. Fantastic acting. Keep it up. I saw Walton Goggins recently say that the secret to acting is you read it 250 times and then you give yourself over to imaginary circumstances.

Damn, that's good. That's pretty good. Hey, can you see everything I'm doing on my computer while I'm wearing these because now I'm realizing from an OPSEC perspective, the Walton Goggins goggle glasses may not be very good for this type of telecommuting. I can tell exactly how disengaged you are

for the conversation by the flicker of your monitor tabs You could also find like the most obscure Project that Walton Goggins has ever participated in and then specifically complement that that has worked Walton Goggins goggle glasses Much more obscure than that. Hey, why don't when I wear them up on my head like this Do I look like a cool like Final Fantasy Final Fantasy character? Like a, like, Sid Highwinder? I was gonna say, your pool ski guy. Yeah, you look like Egon too.

Like, if they did a new Egon in a new Ghostbusters, he would look like that. They've done that a couple times, Justin. Was he a sort of conventionally agreed upon attractive character? Yeah. He's had lots of glasses. Like, he found new places.

Glasses everywhere on Herald Ramus. Glasses on glasses. I would argue, Griffin, that Herald Ramus, ases on glasses. I would argue Griffin that Herald Ramus as Egon Spangler did it for a lot of people. That was the, who's the hottest Ghostbuster? Venkman. No. I think it's Egon.

I'm sorry I asked this question. I don't wanna know the answer to it. Okay, hey listen, if you're talking about personality wise, yeah Venkman, but if we're just talking about looks body Ernie Hudson Ernie Hudson Ernie Hudson is the sexiest Fuck that's a good point yeah yeah yeah yeah Ernie Hudson is the se- my fit like Okay, okay physical body

Why did I fucking say this man? Ernie has it right now Vinkman Good time not a long time. Yeah, you know what I mean? We're having fun with Venkman if you want to marry someone you marry Ray There's gotta be a reason for this game to be done. I can fix him. You know what I mean? He's a little bit. You're gonna try to fix Egon and then he's gonna Ghost you and I'm just saying that profile though like he's cutting a look so hard like his face face card Hundo right? Okay. There's four of them. So let's do we'll do fuck fuck marry kill. No, I get a bonus I I hate that game. That's a shame because you're playing it. You are playing it right now

It's like it's like Brock tune right we can find people sexy and want to marry them and not include killing them. I kill Rey. You know what I mean? Like, we don't need to kill any Ghostbusters. I kill Rey. That's gotta be tough, huh? Conflict of interest at that point. How do you do- Hey Trav, how do you kill Rey?

Trav, describe me in detail how you kill Rey Stance. Slowly. Yeah, and describe it and then with every other sentence just tell me how you want Ray Stantz. Slowly. Yeah, and describe it, and then with every other sentence, just tell me how you wanna fuck Slimer or whatever. No, Slimer wasn't, I didn't know that was available. I would kill Slimer. Jesus, you gotta get that chair fixed, man. It's a- I know, Griffin, I know,

but when I try to fix it, my brothers think I'm ducking pope jokes. I'm marrying Ernie Hudson. I'm fucking Vinkman. Wait, right now? Yeah. I'm fucking Vinkman, I'm fucking Egon, I'm Jenny Hudson. I'm fucking Vinkman. Wait, right now? Yeah. I'm fucking Vinkman. I'm fucking Egon.

I'm killing Ray. This version of the game is a lot easier. You still have to kill someone. Why can't we fuck three Ghostbusters, kill none, and then marry one of them for life? And I'm taking Janine on a date, a lovely date where I'm being very respectful and we're gonna have a great time. I'm taking Janine and Slimer on a lovely date, where I'm being very respectful, and we're gonna have a great time.

I'm taking Janine and Slimer on a pizza, not date, but hang. Yeah. I'd watch the game with Slimer. I think that that would be fun as hell. I'd smoke up with Slimer and watch the game. Oh, fuck yeah, I'd smoke up with Slimer. Are you kidding me?

Cause then you could just like, get it from him. Like he puffs it in and then it just leaves his body. Oh, imagine putting your head inside Slimer. Like Slimer encases your head while he takes a huge rip. You die, you would suffocate and die in the worst imaginable. That's how I'd kill Ray. You'd put Slimer on his head? I'd put Slimer on his head.

You'd make Slimer complicit in the murder. Are you getting me, that nasty dog? And that's how I killed Ray. That was Slimer. I have an indoor slash outdoor cat. One day when I was following him around outside, he went down in the outdoor stairs of my multi-complex home and to my alarm, headed inside the open

and screenless window of my downstairs neighbor, I home and to my alarm, headed inside the open and screenless window of my downstairs neighbor, I went to grab him, saying, no, don't go into someone else's house, in a very high-pitched voice, and to my extreme alarm, neighbor, who I hadn't noticed said, no, it's okay, he's done this before. Brothers, is there a social code for, my cat occasionally visits your home? I was so freaked out that I fear I may have flunked it. I said, well, as long as you don't feed him, and stood by anxiously watching my cat,

unsure of what to do with myself. That's from anxious cat mom in Michigan. Your cat wants an open relationship, but can't communicate that to you, because it's a cat. This isn't a matter of pride. The cat's gotta get what the cat is gonna get, and sometimes that means fresh tinned sardines from your cool downstairs neighbor.

That's interesting, I didn't take it as pride. What do you mean? I would take the anxiety of like, I hope they behave themselves. What if the cat does like, the cat makes a mess or like messes something up and that reflects poorly on me. Cause that's not,

but then he's not gonna do it in my house. Like, sorry the cat shitted in your house that I didn't know he was going to, but that's one shit that's not gonna be in my house. So thank you so much. They're habitual creatures though, aren't they? What if they get so used to pissing at the neighbor's house that they can't go anywhere else?

And you have to go downstairs and knock on the door, like, hey, listen, Mr. Mittens has got a full-biter. Yeah, you gotta come in. Lay out your favorite jacket like he likes it, please. Thank you. This seems like a meet-cute from a movie. I'm not saying that's what's happening here, but it seems like something from a movie where it's like,

oh, my cat went in your window, and it's like, that's your cat? I've been calling it my cat. And now you have. In one shard of the multiverse, I think it's a meet-cute. I think in every other shard, it's just sort of an uncomfortable social situation. I don't want them thinking it's a meat cute.

Because- No, I'm not saying this is a meat cute. I'm saying that this is movie level wild to me. Like, you don't have this problem with a dog, right? My dogs, if I found out my dogs were in someone's home, they've been dognapped. Or they're loose. For a cat, it's too powerful, I think,

to give them the ability to go to someone else's house They've been dogmapped or they're loose. For a cat, it's too powerful, I think, to give them the ability to go to someone else's house that isn't your house. That's the great injustice of a cat's life is that when it finds you distasteful, it cannot abandon you and go somewhere else to teach you a lesson. Now that it has had a taste of that,

I don't think you're gonna get them off of it. I think that they're hooked. And this step owner now has no responsibility, right? They can give this cat ice cream, let him stay up late to watch the movies. Do the fun stuff. Yeah, like get him a new bike or whatever. And then when the cat is having homework trouble

or like fighting with a friend at school or whatever, it's gonna come back to you and you gotta deal with it. You gotta seal that neighbor's window. Yeah, they're not gonna be in her room. Nail it shut. Sorry. Would've enjoyed any kind of information on the neighbor before the three of us dove into this one,

cause that could be a real minefield. They don't seem to have any. What? They said they don't know them. Right, but they probably got to know a little bit of the, like you can clock a vibe pretty quick and they've encountered each other. Give us anything about the vibe,

like anything to work with, because what if they're a fucking creep? I don't know. Or a giant, like, or coyote or something. It could be a big coyote. I keep imagining them standing there, talking to the neighbor, and trying to decide if they should leave or stay.

And man, it's just giving me palpitations. Cause you think once the neighbors like, it's okay you've done this before. There's part of you that's like, well, I'm gonna go. I get, yeah. I mean, so you please enjoy my cat. I mean like, or if you, I guess you stay. And then they're like, well, I told you it's fine.

But it's not a playdate. You don't have to stay. It's not a playdate, right? I'm not gonna get to know you. Yeah. No, I mean, that is why they wrote into this advice podcast. I know, but it's really hard. And I don't think it's doing us a lot of favors

to have our shit so completely fall apart at the premise of one of the questions. We have to keep a stiff upper lip here. No, I know, but I'm trying to be honest, Griffin. I think that like empathy is maybe the first step in trying to say this is hard. And maybe that's, and Griffin, maybe in 2025, we need to be comfortable with like,

sometimes that's all people need. Maybe people don't need answers they need just to have their feelings affirmed. They ask, yeah, did you do anything wrong? No, that's exactly what we would have done, felt weird. That was very hard. But it's an advice podcast, not an affirmation podcast. Yes, but I'm trying to-

And we have to be able to fix our problems. I'm trying to make space for the fact that movies and TV have taught us that social interaction should be smooth and effortless. What I'm saying is, it almost never is, you know? So I need to be filter- A meat ugly, if you will. Yeah, most meats are ugly. And that doesn't mean you should have to be good at it,

but it does mean that maybe you can't be good at it. You know what I mean? Maybe you can't. Maybe most things you just can't fix. And you just gotta say, huh, that was the pits. Absolutely the worst. I huh, that was the pits. Yeah. Absolutely the worst. I'm glad that was finite,

because it was a pit. I only hope it was as bad for them as it was for me. No, 100% of the time, they never thought about it ever again. No, it's fully, fully imagined in your own Yeah, 100% Wonder Emporium up there. I thought we were gonna get past all this stuff

once everyone had email addresses, because then you could just be like, oh, cats in your house, this is a weird situation, what's your email? I will hit you up digitally. I think the reason that didn't happen is because of the at and then the URL. Because people don't know.

It's too long. It's too long and you don't know when it's over. Like it's feeling pretty good when you're giving someone your email address, it's feeling pretty good, and then giving someone your email address, it's feeling pretty good. And then you say the app and then you think, man, I hope they don't judge whatever I say next. Cause whatever I say next,

they're gonna have a feeling about, you know? And there's so many terms that we could use had they not been already sort of co-opted where you just be like in an uncomfortable situation and say like, let's, this is uncomfortable, let's just cyber. And that means like we're gonna communicate cyber in cyberspace with typing and stuff

instead of having to talk about it right now. Yeah, what's your pulse ID? And by the way, pulse is just the name I came up with for the software. But it would be like pretty slow. It's a subdermal cuff, right? The pulse ID is a subdermal cuff. As your pulse raises,

because you're in an anxious situation, it just automatically pings the person to say, they're gonna leave now. Yeah, and you're allowed to just turn mid-sentence and bounce. And is there a version of the show Black Mirror, but where everything works out good and cool? White Mirror.

That's what it says. It's White Lotus. The office of Black Mirror is my love, I love it. Hey everybody, it's me Travis McCrory and I'm taking my brothers to the money zone. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Dang it Travis, when we went to the money zone I broke my ass. Oh, what? When we went to the money zone, I broke my ass. Oh, what? When we fell into the money zone, I broke my ass. This is great, I don't have the ad copy-ups,

but my mind is racing trying to think what- There's no doctors here in the money zone that I know of, I've never had to find a doctor in the money zone, but I do have a broken ass. The infrastructure is not there in the money zone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just need a partner to help me navigate it. Is it ZockDock?

We don't have a lot of electricity. What? Is it ZockDock? Yeah, Griffin, yeah. ZockDock's the one. Yeah, obviously it's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors.

You choose the right one for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment. Okay, I'm gonna go to ZocDoc real quick and type in broken ass. Yep. Stuck in money zone, not mine brothers. Oh yeah, it came up with like four of them. We're talking about in-network appointments

with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skincare and much more. I've found everything. My whole health network here in Washington, D.C., more or less, I found on ZocDoc, and it was the only way to do that, because it's very complicated booking medical shit,

especially in a big city. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com slash my brother to find an instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's zocdoc.com slash my brother zocdoc.com slash my brother. And Justin, while you're broken ass heals, while you recover, I'm going to be here every step of the way, nursing you back to health, making you delicious meals. And Justin, I don't care how- It'll take too long, Travis, it'll take too long. You need the food now?

Yeah, to make a nutritious, delicious meal takes hours and hours. No, Justin, oh. I'll be dead by then. Justin, you dumb, stupid idiot with your broken ass that you deserve now, because you're so stupid. It won't take that long because- Ah, you dumb stupid idiot with your broken ass that you deserve now, because you're so stupid. It won't take that long. Ah, you re-broke my ass.

Yeah. I burned your ass so hard, it got broken. Yeah, man. That's what you get for being so stupid, because with Factor, they have nutritious two-minute meals, and eating well has never been this easy. Just heat it up and enjoy, Justin. Ooh.

Yeah, so when your broken ass is all healed up, get rid of that crack. Instead of spending all your time inside cooking and prepping and all that stuff, factor meals are ready to eat. Perfect for your active lifestyle with a man with a fully healthy ass. So this says right here,

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slash brother50off for 50% off plus free shipping. That's a, we don't usually do this, but that's a kick-ass URL. Brother 50 off. That's a kick-ass URL. Brother 50 off. And now he's the Pope. Recently at my local mall, a VR game was opened up that takes you on a virtual roller coaster ride since it's opening

I've really wanted to try it But I can't convince anyone including my eight-year-old little sister to do the ride with me as an adult There is no way I can do the ride by myself. Hmm So how do I get in on this VR game while retaining my dignity note? I have never actually seen anyone using the VR machine and it sits in the middle of the main strip of the mall So if I were to go ride it, I would basically be on display for any and all passersby. That's from Vext by VR, Vesta, Virginia. Well, Vext by VR, West Virginia.

Now, unless there's a rule that says no adults without children, you can't, when you say there's no way, you could ride that. Yeah, you can go in, arcades are actually all right. Like you can go in an way, you could ride that. Yeah, you can go in, arcades are actually alright. Like you can go in an arcade, you're totally fine. How would argue in fact that by doing that, you've made, you've given someone else permission. All your life, you know?

As long as, before you get on the roller coaster machine, you do have to sit at the Willy Wonka coin drop machine and spend about three hours dropping quarters in there. And then people will be like, that's a fucking grown ass person. Then you can go on the roller coaster. I think where I would actually start to second guess myself a lot is not the riding it, but the extent to which I should really lean into the experience.

Because I think that virtual reality is best when you are bringing your whole self to the illusion. When you're saying, I am immersed in this, this is me, this is my reality. Me and the Rabbids are running through Santa's workshop, hurling snowballs at each other. I am part of this. And I think that- Just like Walton Goggins says, you know?

Yeah. He says, I love- Just like Walton Goggins says, you put the goggles on and you emerge yourself in imaginary experiences. And you chase a baby grue through Santa's workshop. Yeah. I'm Walton Goggins and that's the plot of the Rabbids roller coaster ride at arcades.

And these are the Apple Vision Walton Goggins goggle vision goggle glasses. They are $6,000. Amazing. Worth every penny. Worth every penny. Worth every penny. Yeah, I mean, should you keep a straight face? I mean, that looks worse.

Well, don't go weird. Yeah, don't yell. Well, now hold on. I say if you write it. Okay, so you don't go weird, don't yell, but you don't keep a straight face. What do you want from me, Griffin? Demonstrate proper, yeah.

Oh my. Oh, a hill. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh, titillating. Griffin's putting the Waddle Noggins goggles glasses back on. Okay, Griffin's gonna do it. Oh, a hill. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh, titillating. Griffin's putting the Wattling Goggles glasses back on. Okay, Griffin's gonna demonstrate.

I'm thinking you hit him with like a, wow, whoa. No way, wow. A lot of sort of like whispering under your breath. Maybe reach out and try to touch something. Oh, people love that when it's like, hey, try out the fucking virtual cyber world. It's so, so cool.

There's like five Hatsune Mikus and a little SpongeBob SquarePants. You're gonna love this shit. And then you see them reach and try and like sit down on the chair and they fall down. That shit's so funny, dude. You could be that for someone. Open it up.

I also, I'm worried because when I picture here's a VR machine in the middle of a mall, no one's using it. And maybe I just watch too much, are you afraid of the dark as a kid? But you're gonna get sucked into that thing. Why is no one else using it? What do they know that you don't?

It's cursed. You're gonna get pulled into a virtual world and have to fight your way out against maybe Bobcat Goldthwait, I'm guessing. I think you're right, yeah. Something like that. You're gonna be trapped in there, maybe forever, you're gonna be trapped in there a virtual world and have to fight your way out against maybe Bobcat Goldthwait, I'm guessing. I think you're right, yeah. Something like that. You're gonna be trapped in there maybe forever,

you're gonna leave there, you're not gonna be sure if you're really out or not. That's the fucked up part you can never really tell when you took the headset off. So realistic. It's gonna be a whole thing, man. Yeah, because there's a bit in the Rabbids. Zardo's gonna show up.

There's a bit in the Rabbids roller coaster ride where Gru takes the headset off, but it's still like a cut scene in the game. And you're like, how many fucking layers deep do I have these guys going? I'm gonna give you one chance, and it's gonna have to be elegant and tasteful for you to excise yourself from it with grace. Okay.

But you're gonna need to explain to me why you keep mentioning Gru in the context of the Rabbids. This is the second, maybe third. I need you to explain to me what happened, where we went wrong. This is, we're opening this up. This is the safety zone here, Griffin. Can I say, it feels extremely not safe, this zone. It feels, I feel like I am on-

It's a narrow sliver. It's a narrow sliver of grace. It's infinite, it's deep, but it's narrow. I would need you to stand up from your computers and walk away 25 feet before I would feel like this is a safe space. Rabbids are minions with long ears. Hello, if you need me to tell you that,

you're not keeping your fucking eyes open. And keeping a look at these corporations. Because I'm pretty sure it's the same one that does both these guys. It's definitely illumination, but minions are rabids without the ears and bunny-like sort of characteristics. They are little horrible tic-tac men, and that's basically also what a rabid is.

So that's why I kept talking about Gru, who is like the minion's dad. Okay. Do you think that minions are smurfs without souls? No. Different looking shape completely, but really the whole only thing with the rabbids is the ears.

Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Hey, the Rabbids is the ears. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Hey, let's go to the wizard. He's got something for us here. This one was sent in by Christian. Thanks, Christian. And it is 200 plus motorcyclist names

to help you stand out on the road. Oh. As a motorcyclist, right? Not like I'm standing on the road yelling at them as they go by. Hey, jerk! Hey, jerk! Yeah, they have 200 mean names to yell at passing motorcyclists.

That would make you stand out. Yeah, for sure. I bet they wouldn't like it, though. If they can get off those bikes so dang quick, it is not a great idea to yell at them. Some of them don't even need to stop the bike. They can just jump up, bike keeps going, they land. So angry. They land.

They deploy the parachute. Do you need to find the perfect biker names for your tough as Neil's motorcycle persona? Am I supposed to have one of those? Well, not without the name. That's a good point. We'll start there. Don't choose your biker moniker randomly.

Check out our list of over 200 biker names from the uncommon to ones that are ideal for Instagram. What? No idea what that- Is that a big thing? Yeah, you also- I'm not saying bikers can't be on Instagram, but I didn't know that that was like a major thought when going into that lifestyle is,

will this look good on Instagram? No. Well, I think they're thinking about like, can you get the handle, right? Oh yeah. You wanna be like, Arkansas Spike. Yeah. And there's already a bunch of Arkansas spikes.

Yeah. Taking up the handle. I'm potato dog. But then you go and potato dog is definitely. Well then you should be the real potato dog. Potato dog real, potato Dog Real 69420. You'll also find help for creating a name for your motorcycle club and get answers

to questions about biker names. Do you guys feel like you know enough about bike culture that you could comfortably pick a biker name right now and like really own it, get it stenciled on your hog or whatever? Griffin, I had to pick one with no prep and came up with Arkansas Spike, I think. So no, I don't-

I said potato dog, like we- Yeah, I mean, I have very little fat, neither one of those was- I would be the Wizard of Bikes. Wizard of Bikes is actually kick ass, that's the best of the three, Trav. I do think that you should have to get the moniker from the biker gang, because I think that if you roll up

to a new gang that you're not in and you're like, hey, I'm the Texas Torch. They're like, I'm not sure that that's right. We already got two of those, man. Yeah, let's take it on Instagram. At what level of organization are you expected to have a motorcycle persona with an original name? Because if it's like a Facebook group meetup bike event,

I don't think you get a biker name for that. There has to be a certain amount of membership involved. When do you cross that threshold? I love the idea of a delay. And can I tell you why? Because I feel like it is a biker solve to one of the biggest problems in life is when you wait too long to find out someone's name I'm gonna tell you why, because I feel like it is a biker solve to one of the biggest problems in life,

is when you wait too long to find out someone's name, because you don't realize they're gonna be important in your life until too long. Bikers have a fucking kick-ass one where they're like, meh, I'll catch them next time. I'll learn it next time. I'll learn, and I'll learn it on, yeah, next go-around, I'll learn the new one.

But you don't even- Well,criven is saying, if I may, and I kind of love this, and we could all adopt this in everyday society, is that you will earn a name from the group when they have decided that you are important enough to them, that they need to remember your name, so much so, they are now giving you a new one. Yeah, and then if you ever forget that name,

it's fucking stenciled on the front of their vest or whatever. Exactly. And you'd be like, oh shit, it's been a minute. Buzzard? With four Z's, it's Buzzard. Damn, I'm cheating because that's one of the first names in hardcore biker names. Usenames that show you're tough.

Biker names that are considered badass or hardcore are often just one word names that describe something strong or sound rugged. Let's just go through these warrior cat style. Armor, Axle, Barbarian, Blaze, Boulder, Brick, Buzzard, Claw, Conqueror. Such a curious. Dynamite's cool.

Dynamite could be like a tough name, but it can also be like, I'm about to dazzle you with my incredible bike skills. You can probably just go through a list of like the top 200 X-Men name and come up with like the same kind of list. I keep coming up, like my brain gave me Dynamite, like a pun, and then I was like,

and then I had to remind myself like, brain? I'm not sure bikers would like puns. Hang on, they might. I don't think it's a good idea. I don't think you'd call yourself Dynamike if your first name was John. One of the names on here is Rabid, spelled like if a dog goes foamy or whatever,

but you could throw an extra B in there and be like a rabid fan on the motorcycle. And you got too lost in the sauce on the ride at the mall. And now you have to live that life for real. Stone cold is one, that's two words, but that's fine. Cool names. I don't think you can do that. That one famously belongs to Mr. Austin.

Can you fucking believe if someone rolled up to your new awesome biker club and was like, yeah, I decided to go with Stone Cold. Here's my vest and everything. The amount of work they would have to put in for me to consider them when I think of the word Stone Cold and not the other guy would have to be, I don't know, you could do it in one lifetime.

Unless you are like Stone Cold Steve Austin, or like, I was just thinking if the Undertaker- Well then it's a non-issue. But if the Undertaker rolled up to your biker gang and said I'm the Undertaker, you wouldn't be like, well you have to earn that. You'd be like, yeah man, you absolutely are. I can't see any scenario in my future, Travis,

where I would invite the Undertaker to my biker club. I simply do not think the man qualifies for an invite. How about some cool names? You think Stone Cold Steve also would get mad if he joined the club and they're like, we're gonna call you Danger. Like well, America actually got a pretty good, like I'm gonna stick with it.

I'm gonna just go with the Stone Cold thing because it's like, sorry, pretty scary and everything. Here comes Shotgun. I told you guys already. No. They because it's like, sorry, pretty scary and everything. Oh, shit, here comes shotgun. I told you guys already. No, they so-called, I got it on my shirt and everything. Cool names. I'm gonna skip the fucking explanation of what is cool. Arsenal, Berserk, Cobra, Enigma.

Now hold on. That's the, I like like, mystery. Like when you, I cruise past you on the bike, if it says like, Mad Dog, you're gonna be like, I know that guy's whole deal. But when he rolls through and he's like, conundrum, you have no fucking idea what I'm about. If you put a question mark on the stencil,

and it's like, enigma, and you're like, wait, was it? Exactly. I thought you run a danger of like, your crew started to turn into a bunch of Batman rogue scowlers, they're like, this is the perplexer. Yeah. Here we go. I love it.

Got the Ice King. Got Street Paralyzer. This is the Paralyzer. He's great. Got Thunder Dog. That's one of the names actually provided here. I'm just gonna rip through some of these names, because there's a lot of filler shit in here.

We got Axeman, Buzz, Cougar, Hannibal. Cougar's a thing. Once again, if there's already slang that is attached to that name, I don't think I'd wanna be Cougar because then everyone's like, oh hey, it's Cougar, right? Like I don't need that. You it's Cougar, right?

Like, I don't need that. You could be Cougar Town, and that would be cool. Yeah, named after the hit ABC. Desperate Housewives. I've been thinking a lot about what these names would look like emblazoned on a vest, and I don't know why my head is there, but thinking that way, I am interested in the name Kevlar

because that's one of the names provided here. And if you put that on your clothes and another biker road rash style tries to get up on you, you can point to your vest and be like, sorry, but. This is among the worst ideas I've ever heard in my entire life. It doesn't even hold up to like narrative scrutiny, even for like a comedy construction.

It's fucking nonsensical. The idea that you would goad someone in the fake out of a fake armored vest is so decrepit. Maybe it's real, maybe it's fake. Do you wanna risk it? Wait, what am I risking? Hold on, why is the risk on me at this point? You would be getting jumped in an on the road surprise attack.

This is not something you, you don't coordinate a badass. It's a surprise attack where you want to encourage the opposition to shoot you in the head. No! You want to make it extremely clear that they want to go for a headshot. I don't think that's what the vest is meant to do, is to encourage them to shoot

other cooler parts of your body. I think it's meant to say they see it and they're like, shit, this one's got armor, let's peel off. Don't waste your time! Let's peel off. They're completely Kevlar'd out. I would once again. My name's also Kevlar. Fuck guys.

Damn it. All these guys are Kevlar. Shoot. I think if I was in a biker gang and I met someone named Kevlar and I found out their real name wasn't Kevin, I'd be very upset. I'd be really, really disappointed. But I also think that that kind of impulse is maybe why I'm not in a biker gang.

Exactly. That idea of like, well, I'll tell you what really pisses me off. Kevlar over there, his real name's not even Kevin. And they're like, what the fuck are you talking about, Travis? What are you talking about? There's a category of names that is not really siloed off here in this WikiHow article,

but I would like to discuss sort of the power, the potential power of that. One of the names on here is Warlord. I'm thinking of like, can you get a name in your motorcycle club that's like king or ruler or head honcho or... Boss man. Boss man.

Boss, boss, boss guy. Big boss. President, but you're not in charge of the biker club? They probably would hate that if you're like, hi, I'm secretary treasurer. I'm ready to run. They would already have one of those. Yeah.

Do you think when you're picking, I bet that when you're picking a biker name for yourself, the amount of introspection that it takes to match up the level of badass that the name is with like what you think you can achieve? What you can deliver on? Yeah. Yeah, well, cause I don't wanna put up a big check

that I can't cash, you know what I mean? Cause I was thinking Warlord, and then you get in there and it's like, yeah, I'm not actually, I'm kind of like threat averse. I'm not really into the fight. I feel like I'd have to pick. Yeah, you'll be reasonable. Yeah, Mantis, I think would be good for me.

Mantis would be cool. Mantis. There's a list of women biker names on here. Oh, good, okay. And they're about as rough as you can imagine. There's two on here I would like to dive into, a little bit though. One is Torque Mistress.

Nice. That could be, now, Juice, what was your reaction to that? No, it's good, it's Torque Mistress. Torque Mistress is like, is cool. You're gonna meet the exact people you want to with a name like that. You're gonna, that really narrows

the demographic, Torque Mistress. Yeah. It will, unfortunately, it will signal the Torque's wife what's going on between the two of you. Torque is just standing in the middle, uh oh, I don't know. Who's Torque? Torque's wife gonna be so mad! Who's Torque? Torque's always like, I really hate this,

but I'm not sure Torque does at this point, honestly. If Torque hated it, he would've made his choice by now. The other one I wanted to talk about is smooth wheels, which is like fucking crazy because you'll die. Those are bad. We don't want those. You need them rough. You need them rough.

They gotta be rough. No, don't do that. I'm gonna pick one for Griffin and I wanna nail it. I wanna nail it. You do that and I'll give you one from the list of funny biker names they provided, which I did not even know was an option. Does each biker club have, I can't,

I don't know anything about this world. I never watched the Sons of Anarchy or anything in that vein. Is there always like kind of a funny one in the club? Oh yeah, there's always a funny one. They usually get killed though. Yeah, that's true. I guess I don't know what they're doing most of the time.

Obviously- So normally they yell, I watched some of Sons of Anarchy and then I quit. So here's what I can tell you. Mostly they're yelling at each other. That's the big thing. And then they're fighting amongst each other, which is wild because they only know like 10 motorcycle guys. I wouldn't fight with them.

I would be their friend. And their whole thing is that they all really like riding motorcycles. Yeah, they can't live in a cage, which is a car. Justin, when you stopped watching Sons of Anarchy, did the cast show up to beat you up, to let you out? Is that what happened? Yeah, but then the cast of Yellowstone showed up and was like, stay back.

We got her back. That's our boy now. Family. Griffin, I'm gonna call you Porcelain. Porcelain's cool. It's us, the cast of Leverage. We were pretending to be the cast of Yellowstone this entire time.

Fuck, dude. I'd love that, are you kidding me? I know. I mean, cool if more shows turned out to be Leverage. I'd rock with porcelain so hard, Trev. I think you got me in one. Because something, one, it's true. I would be so, I can't fall off a bike.

That's it. And you like the toilet. Porcelain is the best. Well, I would be so, I can't fall off a bike. That's it. And you like the toilet. Porcelain is, well I don't, I would love to shed the toilet thing, but it's just like, that's that club's beauty boy. I would love to be the beauty boy that bikes. I think they would call you tax man. Shit.

Cause it's like, maybe, like no one likes you, so you're kinda like a bad boy. I mean that in a biker way, like, maybe like no one likes you, so you're kind of like a bad boy. I mean that in a biker way, like a tax man. Oh, I just thought you were being the meanest to me you've ever been in your life. It's like taxing, but like also- I thought you just casually dropped and no one likes you. No, I don't like that.

I mean like a bad boy. Like no one gets on your bad side, like the tax man, like they're coming after you. But it's also like, you look like you would be good at doing, like, you would probably end up doing the taxes for the biker gang if they have taxes, from like their farmer's market stand or whatever, like, whatever they are doing.

I don't know how they, how are they getting money? I don't know, they sell like, heritage butter? I don't know. Facebook has taught me that bikers, when they're not doing biker stuff, are like accompanying children to scary places. That's what Facebook shows me all the time. Do they get a stipend from the government

to be riding bikes around? Because I think that's their job. And I don't know why. They're influencers, they're bike influencers. So they see people riding around. You see cool people in a big biker gang. They've got a Motorola motorcycle, one of the good ones. And then they're like,

Motorola's a big honker. Yeah, it does. I think they call them Motorola cycles. Yeah. Justin, I'm gonna call you Bootleg. Bootleg is good. That's cool. Cause I bet you know how to get movies

that like maybe aren't available in stores. You know a lot about VPN and how to, if I'm in America and I wanna watch British TV, how I could do that. And then when they do biker club movie night, which may or may not be a thing, again, I don't know fucking anything about this entire subculture.

You are the one who gets to pick the tapes when everyone gets together to watch movies after every great bike. anything about this entire subculture, you are the one who gets to pick the tapes. Yeah. When everyone gets together to watch movies after every great bike. This sounds cool, I kinda wanna be a part of this now. Yeah, I have an e-bike. I'm gonna watch the motorcycles part. I'd be in.

I mean, I have an e-bike, I think that's... Can you do, could your personality in the biker gang be like, bike-less Barry? Walk ahead. Something like the one guy in it that doesn't do the motorcycle stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sidecar. They look cool.

Yeah. They look so- Toe and Terry, the guy who has a toe-drape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shoe leather. I'm gonna call myself- Oh, you're talking about Sketch over there? Yes, the weirdest thing.

He hates motorcycles, scared to death of them, but he can draw them like a beautiful dream. Have you heard his poetry? You should be in it. You're talking about Skitch? Yes, the weirdest thing. He just hangs onto the back of our motorcycles and then rides a skateboard. We love him. He skips us everywhere.

That's cool. He's like our pet. I'm gonna call myself Grimace. Okay. Because I have purple hair, but also it's kind of like, oh, it's like a grimace of pain or whatever. That's cool, yeah. Mostly because I have purple hair. These also it's kind of like, oh, it's like a grimace of pain or whatever. That's cool, yeah.

Mostly because I have purple hair. These are all good names, Trav. I think you have a calling here. I don't want you on a motorcycle. I don't want either of you guys on a motorcycle. No, I wouldn't do that. Teresa would be so mad at me. Yeah.

But I would work as they're naming Oracle. Oracle, that's a cool fucking, that's a cool, Oracle's cool. Trav, you can have Oracle. Okay. Do biker clubs have like an operator who like hangs out at the lair and like tells them where to ride and stuff?

Cause that would be cool. I'm in a little motorcycle chair that zooms around the office. I think the tax man would probably handle like logistics. I think Griff. Well the tax man's the numbers guy. He's doing the money. If we're being honest,

the three of us can only fill that role, and no, there is not a biker organization alive that wants three operators back at home base, so we're gonna end up on different clubs, I'm afraid. I wouldn't get to do different shifts. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point, you're not 24 hours a pop. I got to sleep.

Yeah, I would also bartend if they needed that. Yeah. I'd be happy to do that listen to their troubles Let me get a report report them to the police for we see do you think side cars? Are a big part of biker gangs like like finding buddies for your side car like yeah You can sit in the cuz I was thinking about the problem with having a side car is if it's ever empty People are gonna assume that you're in a fight. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, like they're like, it's like, hey, what happened? It's like nothing, it's just, I just was going out by myself right now. I wanna be clear, you keep using the term biker clubs and biker gangs interchangeably. The organization I'm running is just a team of bike enthusiasts who have no,

there's no criminal element to it whatsoever. They get paid by the government to ride their bikes around the city and on their guy. Mostly for flavor? Yeah. Yeah. I think that if you wanna join a biker club, you should have to ride in the sidecar for the first year

to see if you like it before you get your first motorcycle. Right, because what if you get your first motorcycle, you hop on, you ride your motorcycle for five minutes, you're like, oh wait, I hate this. Sorry guys, I don't, sorry guys, I tried, I don't like this. I know you worked really hard to come up with a name for me. You don't like Taxman? It's cool, Taxman's great, it's a shame.

I would love to be Taxman, I just really didn't like that. I didn't like riding on the motorcycle, it was scary, it was loud. Hey guys, no one told me how windy it was gonna be. That's fucking crazy, you guys deal with that every day. What if we put a windshield on it and some like doors, maybe a seatbelt to protect, I'm describing a car, fuck! You put a helmet on my head,

but I have other parts than heads. Yeah. And my Kevlar vest isn't gonna protect my, what's that, it's just the name? Fuck! What the fuck? That's confusing. What if someone shoots at me thinking,

oh, I see. Oh. God. Wait, is there much shooting in this biking enthusiast club? The idea of the three of us joining a biker gang is the most I've ever wished. You did've ever wished that we still have a TV show. A biker gang?

Or a biker club? Of enthusiasts. I don't see any reality where I join a biker gang, but I can see one where I buy a motorcycle when I turn 40 because I have a panic attack. I imagine that this distinction, if you are a member of one of these clubs, is extremely important to you.

So I apologize for running a foul. I think I could join a biker gang as kind of a Travis Travis mascot slash pet kind of thing. No, I'm saying gang. They don't do those. I'm saying gang. I'm over here in the playground. I'm over here in the playground I'm having fun with the question the question's a big beautiful balloon And I'm bouncing it around in the air. You guys are playing in traffic right now. I'm in the playground where it's fun and safe and cool. You're not listening.

I could definitely join a biker enthusiast club. Yeah. I'm saying the only way I'm making my way into a biker gang is as a pet slash mascot kind of character like Pee Wee Herman and Pee-wee's big adventure. Back in the street. I don't think that any of us are cut out for this life. Yeah, you're right.

We can't even get the terminology right. I hope there's not many clips that come out of this episode because there's going to be constant continuity errors with my wearing of the Walton Goggins goggle glasses. If it just gets him to notice us and say, boy, those guys sound just like- Notice me Goggins' goggle glasses. If it just gets him to notice us and say, boy, those guys sound just like me. Notice me, Goggins. Notice me, Goggins.

Put on your glasses. No, Travis, no! We are not at a place in our careers. This is your new friend Griffin calling. Yep, here's our statistical parody, and we're done. Kaputsky. Hey, five people who got that, you're in. So welcome.

Welcome to the fucking real, real club. Thank you for listening to my brother, my brother, and me all these years. We really appreciate it. This one too, especially this one, but all of them. We really appreciate it. Thank you. If you've never seen us live and in person, you should.

It's even better. Yeah, we're coming to Michigan and Minnesota next week, and we got new dates in California, Texas, Georgia, and Utah. All those Taz shows are gonna be Taz versus, except for the Anaheim Taz show, which will be Dadlands with Brendan Lee Mulligan. All tickets are on sale now.

More info and ticket links are available at bit.ly for it slash McElroy Tours. I'm also so excited this week is Champions Grove. I'm excited to see everybody there. It's gonna be a blast. Hope you're having fun. Yeah, I'm excited. Hey, we got some merch over at the McElroy merch store. Guys, I brewed my first cup of the flaming,

not poisoning Raging Tea of doom last night. That we collabed with Good Store. It's a wonderful loose leaf tea. And guys, I'm not just saying this because it's sort of our thing, but it's a good fucking brew. Oh man, it treated me just right. Wonderful notes of clove, a spicy finish,

which I really do enjoy. Spicy finish is also a good biker name. Flavorful, but not cloying, which is a really difficult balance to stick the landing on. Herbal, no caffeine for a nighttime come down. It's a beautiful, beautiful. Nighttime come down is another good biker name.

It's a beautiful brew. And you can find it over at McRoyMerch.com. 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Center for Reproductive Rights. Thank you so much, Montane. You're the best. The music is so good. Keep that new shit coming.

We're eating good over here. I've got a fear here I'd like to read. Faster than fear. This year, to read, faster than fear. This year, I'm moving faster than my fear of my partner's worm farm. The worms aren't strong enough to open it and get me. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy.

I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been My Brother, My Brother, Me. Kiss your dad, Square on the lips. It's better with you. My life, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,

ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, it's better, it's better with two. My life, it's better with you.