My Brother, My Brother And Me - My Brother, My Brother and Me 16: Coach

Episode Date: August 2, 2010

In the debut episode of the My Brother, My Brother and Me Fall Season 2010, our three hosts share a number of special, sentimental moments. The specialness and sentimentality of it all is just so overwhelming. Don't be afraid to let a few tears fall from your those sweet baby blues and browns, listeners. Sometimes, a good cry is just what the doctor ordered. Also, we talk about nicknames for penises. Suggested talking points: Rap n' Beats, sweet jeans, Highlander of Fun, virtual dumpster fire, Marshall Gaiman, nine-twelve, wormy, pigchicken rulez, g-ma

I need help and I don't know where else to turn. I've got a problem deep inside me and I'm feeling quite concerned. It's an issue and I feel I need some input and insight into if it's something serious or if I could just might be overreacting. I've got a problem, I'm having and it's really no big deal and I should probably be laughing but I think I better talk to someone wiser than I. Get a second opinion just to be on the safe side. You know what? An opinion's three and four cause I know just who I need. I need the brothers, McElroy, three sages from the past dispensing wisdom for the ages. The greatest modern minds, many hearts like magic mages. I could write pages about all they've done that helped me like when I caught on fire or that time I lost my house keys. I will never tire of the way the show delights me. Advice for the modern era is my brother, my brother and me. The bed you've supplied us with is quite loud and we're afraid that our noise making will be a ruckus. So what the bed might be quieter, you get a comedy in this room. And also, where can I put my oversized duffel bag with the words, you need a bag. Take a chance on me, if you need me, let me know, gonna be around. If you've got your place to go when you're feeling down. If you're all alone, when the pretty birds have long on their wings. Thank you, Jay Fonning, who finally being the one to recognize the true sound of my brother, my brother and me is rap. It's the sweet sound of the streets.

We all agree that we are urban. We are nothing, if not street. Hip hop, R&B. Most of our episodes are about hip hop and R&B. I draw most of the things we say from the recordings of Jay-Z and Mrs. Warren Hill. Is it sad that for the better part of my entire life, I thought R&B stood for rap and beats? What? I thought it stood for rap and beats. This is my brother, my brother, me, and it's an advice show for the modern era. We also will teach you that R&B does not stand for rap and beats. How well do you enjoy that rap and beats music? She's the greatest rap and beats singer of all time.

Aaliyah is the new princess of hip hop and rap and beats. God bless you. Hello, brothers and sister, this is Michael from California. And I am wondering, how do you learn better? How do you learn to dress better? Sorry, I got off a little bit. Oh, good typing. That's not your fault, Michael. I'm wondering, how do you learn to dress better? I'm tired of just wearing nerdy t-shirts all the time and I have no idea how to start learning how to dress more mature.

Thank you. Griffin's got a great answer. Watch this. I do? Well, I was going to suggest that you need to watch a hit web series. Oh, that's right. Put this on by close personal friend of the show, Jesse Thorne and Adam Lisegour. Well, they are sort of friends of the show. If you're here, thanks to our friends at maximumfun.org, you have probably heard the name Jesse Thorne. Put this on is, there's not enough episodes for my taste, put this on.com. There's just two right now about jeans and shoes, but if you read that blog.

That blog is chock full of tips. What do they say about jeans? This is a discussion I've been having a lot lately. Their conclusion is that jeans are, they can qualify as fancy dress if worn properly. Yeah, you should watch Travis get into it. Because it's all about finding a good pair of jeans for you and then how to maintain those jeans. I was talking to Teresa the other day and I made her promise that when I reached the point that I am no longer like I'm too old to wear jeans that she has sworn to tell me. So she can just kill you. Yeah, and then it's just sweet, sweet death and then on out.

I think Jean, let's get back to Michael's question. Okay. I think you need to expand beyond nerdy t-shirts. Yeah. Because those are inherently undressy. Find yourself a nice polo shirt, a nice button up. It's not that hard to dress better. Yeah, just started the ground up.

I would also say that you could get a t-shirt that's not necessarily nerdy, maybe something more universal, something everyone can relate to. Like for instance, my brother and my brother and me t-shirt available for one day only this final day at mbmbam.com. It may even be too late. It may be too late if you're listening to this on Tuesday. But still go look. It'll work so out for you. Or just plain t-shirts. Plain t-shirts, that's a classy look.

Just a plain tight fit. You know what I like? A nice corduroy jacket. You know what? A jacket is a good pro tip because I can dress up anything. I wear a nice tan jacket at trade shows and things because it classes up the look without having to buy a whole new wardrobe. Corduroy is good too though. Go to Target and look at their jackets.

They have nice jackets for $20 to $30 and you'll wear those things for months. 100 years. I finally found out, this is from Michael. I recently found out that my wife and I are expecting a baby. Congratulations. Congrats. This will be our first so we're a little nervous about what to expect. Immediately things changed my mind about priorities.

I'm also a little listener to the Joystick podcast. I love my gaming time. How can I balance my new child and keep the trophies rolling in? First, that sounds dangerous. Yeah. If you're trying to balance a baby while at the same time trophies are rolling at you, you may already be a bad parent. Is the baby on your head? Is this where you're balancing him?

Like a book? Like a hilarious silent film starring Buster Keaton. There's like a baby balanced precariously on your head as trophies roll at you. I think the most important thing about being a parent is knowing where to turn for advice about parenting. He's already cracked the case with the first biggest rival, which is where to turn for parenting advice. I've seen three men in a baby. I've seen four men in a baby. I've seen two and a half men.

I've seen babies stay out. I've seen... Dunstan checks in. Dunstan checks in, which isn't exactly about parenting, but... I've seen most viable primates. I've seen Air Buds. I've seen most vertical primate. We got off the subject right now.

I saw Mylon Otis. Land before times part one, two, three, and four. Land of the Lost. Listen. Here's some other things I've seen. The truth is, I think... So I've read... In order to be a good parent, you have to not do the things that you used to like doing.

I think that there's a ratio, an inverse ratio between the sacrifices of your fun time to the relative health of your child. Let me give you a trophy to reach for an achievement to try to gain, and that is, didn't raise a serial killer. It's a 100-gamer score. 100-gamer score for not raising someone who murders you in your sleep. The way it works is when you grow up, when you have a child, it's that... You've been doing cool shit your whole life. Now it's your child's turn to do cool shit, and it's your time to do bummer shit.

It's like the Highlander. There can be only one person who's enjoying their life at one time. I guess not, friend. It's not you anymore. I'm 30 years old and have recently made a friend in World of Warcraft who I've been playing with regularly. Last week I found out he's a 15-year-old boy, and when I told my girlfriend she freaked out and said it was weird and that I should stop playing with him. What do I do? I can't tell you the number of times my wife has walked in on me playing with a 15-year-old boy,

and she's like, oh no, I'll call the cops, I'll leave you, blah blah blah blah. It's like, chill out, lady. He's our neighbor. How am I going to get better at recording pop music? Well, pop influenced by rapping beats, like Michael Jackson, if I can't play with 15-year-old boys. Someone's got to teach this kid to shave. It's not going to be his deadbeat dad. You got to be in front of the mirror with whipped cream on his face and a spoon.

It's easy, it's just like this. It's real good. Slower. Slower. Slower. So much slower. Oh, Daniel. This is such a problem of the modern age.

Yeah, it is. You know, I imagine someone 20 years ago reading this question would think it was written in a different language. We talked about it when we talked about the question about kissing your dad's square on the lips. If you don't think it's weird, then it's not weird. It is pretty fucking weird, though. It's weird, though. I assume you guys are just rating whatever people do on that World of Warcraft Jam. There's nothing you can do in World of Warcraft with a 15-year-old boy that doesn't make you sound like a gay pedophile.

That's life. We're just rating. We're just pounding the dragon. We're just working on our sewing. We're just teaching him some leather work. We're grinding. We're just grinding. I was grinding with a 15-year-old and my wife flipped.

This is something where, just pretend you don't know it. Are you sure it's not Chris Hansen on the other end saying he's a 15-year-old boy? That's the future of DeKetcher Predator. Why are you hanging with him? You can find some in your own age, also playing World of Warcraft. Or switch to Second Life, because that place is just ripe for the harvest of sweet, succulent teenage fruit. Just hanging low on the tree. You know, there's Marshall in Second Life now.

I saw that. Marshall University, my alma mater, Justin's alma mater, now has a virtual college in Second Life. Am I allowed to... I haven't discussed this with my wife. Am I allowed to go to virtual Marshall and do the things that I did at Real Marshall without fear of repercussions? Is that how that works? Well, give me an example of some of these things. Like, if I go to Second Life, can I set a dumpster on fire and then blame it on a pizza guy that walked by earlier? Is that okay?

Yes. I mean, it depends if the programmers have enabled that option for you to do in the game. How's your tech? How is the tech on this that if I can't burn a dumpster? I don't know. I would love to see if I could get kicked out of Second Life, Marshall, though. I would love to see what it takes to do. I would love to walk out screaming.

That's it. I'm starting Third Life. On one hand, you have it as a recruitment tool. That's what they built it for so that they can take students on a virtual tour. So I'd love to show up as a prospective, you know, student and walk around that group and cause all kinds of shenanigans. I just like to sit on the quad and play my guitar. That's it. Don't bother me.

Just right to the middle of a group. You guys trying to sack? You guys want to sack? We're going to sack over at the Student Center in 15. Meet by the John and my 15-year-old friend. We're just sacking together. We're going to go play some disc. You guys like Dave Matthews?

This is a crazy game of poker today, right? Pretty crazy. Alan writes from Gmail, I'm starting my senior year of high school and my parents are becoming increasingly pushy about telling me I need to decide where I want to go to college. Have you considered Marshall? Have you considered virtual Marshall? Have you considered VMU? I'm at the top of my class and should have no problem getting a scholarship. The problem is I have no idea what I want to do.

I'm equally good in all subjects at school, but I don't like any of them enough to devote four to eight years of my life studying them. Furthermore, I cannot think of any real job I would enjoy. How can I find out what to do with my life? Oh, Alan. Alan, Alan, Alan. That's a great question. I mean, you're asking maybe the only person who really can provide, well, I guess, I guess, Travis and Griffin are both better at this than I am. I went to school on an acting and directing degree and I am now, I read about video games.

So, I don't know. I think I heard someone say that if college only teaches you what you want to do with your life, then it's a good investment. But I don't know. What do you guys think? I think that there's two kinds of people. There are people that have known what they've wanted to do since they were eight years old. There's people that are going to figure out what they're going to do when they're 22 and are handed a diploma. And both of those people end up knowing what they're going to do. And there are people like Alan who will...

Griffin, you were saying? There are people like Alan who will never find out what they want to do and will die purposeless. You know, I'm glad you were trying to cut Travis off to tell Alan that he was going to die without purpose. That was really great use. Not completely without purpose, just... That was great use of the little first time. Just without fulfilling purpose. Do you think he'll be honest?

If I could just... He'll look back and say, I've wasted it. I've wasted it all. You were right, Griffin. Excuse me, Travis, can I cut in on what you're saying to remind one of our precious listeners that his life is a shell? Alan, listen. I hate to add to your burden, but this is the most important decision you'll ever make. So you need to spend the last few months you have left in high school doing as much shit as you possibly can. Extra curriculars.

Join the theater community and choreograph their upcoming production of Oklahoma. Go join your school newspaper. Play some football. Do some sports commentating. Anything you can to try and find your calling. Because it's out there. You just gotta stumble upon it. And I would suggest, Alan, this is such a hard decision because it's a weird system we have where we ask people to choose what they want to do with their lives before they have a chance to actually do anything.

If it might be so bold, why don't you try picking some careers you might be interested in and talk to people who are currently in those careers and see how they like it? Because that's a pretty good barometer of whether or not, you know, if it's making them happy then... I actually made my decision to go into journalism because I did it a bit in high school and I enjoyed it, but I was a theater major in high school. But I watched Justin in college go from having this theater degree that he didn't, you know, want to use in his professional life and making a last-minute change to journalism. And I was like, man, I don't want any of that. I don't want to do that. Thanks. That was cool.

I know what that life is. That's for certain. That is great. I'm so glad that my life could serve as a negative example for how not to live your life. No, not a negative example. That trailblazing guidance for you, you piece of shit. Formspring asks, is it considered cheating if I make out with a gay man? Assuming that you're a man?

Okay, wait. There's so many people, you've got to give us enough context to answer these questions. Are you dating the gay man? No. Then it's not cheating. Are you dating a girl? I think it is a... Is she there?

A girl who is dating a guy, is it cheating if she makes out with a gay man? And the answer is, yes, of course. Of course it is. Do you know how you know what's a sin? Would you do it in front of Jesus? Not counting masturbation, which isn't a sin, but you probably... Because I would totally do that in front of Jesus. So if you're a girl, this is the whole thing.

This is how you determine cheating, right? Would you do it in front of them? If you wouldn't do it in front of them, then it's cheating. If you wouldn't do it in front of them, then they're cool with it and you're fine. How would you feel... It's one of those things where you say, cool. If you have to ask, then it is. Yeah.

How about it's not cheating if you make out with that gay man, if I go over here and make out with this lesbian. That cool? Yeah. Are we cool? Nice. It's a real healthy relationship we got going on here. With Portia de Rossi, are you cool? Are you cool with this?

Because it's fact. It is stone cold fact that every girl, freshman year of college, is gonna make out with a gay man. That's 100%. I think it was actually part of the Marshall plan. You couldn't graduate from three of the 12 schools at Marshall unless you had made out with a gay man. It was a prerequisite. And that same gay man will flamboyantly squeeze one or more of her breasts.

And say honk. You gotta say honk. It was just one gay man. It was Marshall's gay man and everyone had to make out with him in order to graduate college. Honestly, funny enough, Marshall gay man. Is it cheating? It's a really easy answer because it's all about your partner's perception. If they think it's cheating, it's cheating.

If you can't ask them like, is it cool that I made out with a gay man? Are you asking me if you should feel guilty? I don't know. Guilt fades. Are you gonna do anything about it? You're not gonna start a relationship with this guy. I don't think you should tell the person. Like, especially if it's gonna create...

Well, let me... I mean, if you can let it slide, then don't tell them because it's just gonna hurt their feelings. Especially because that's not a sexual preference. Like, girls who are into gay dudes, it's not like... Maybe it is. I don't know. Maybe it is. Well, let me ask you this.

Turn around. There's probably a Katherine Heigl movie about it. This is a straight girl asking this question. If she makes out with another straight girl, is that cheating? There are so many layers to that question. No, it's irrelevant. It has everything to do... It has nothing to do with what the planet's leading and vice podcast says.

And more about what... It has everything to do with what your dude thinks. So if he's cool, if he's like, this doesn't bother me at all. If he's cool, it's not cheating. If he's not cool, it's fully, fully cheating. And also be prepared for him to say he's cool, but he's probably not. Just don't do it. How about you just don't make out with gay dudes anymore?

You already did it, didn't you? But using that metric, like any... Your boyfriend could think that splitting a pizza with another dude is cheating. But if he thinks that... But if you presumably, if you're asking what is cheating, you're doing it because you're worried that your partner will dump you if they think you've been cheating. So it has everything to do with what they consider cheating. And I mean, like if they're the sort of person...

If they do consider splitting a pizza with a dude cheating... And you need to break up with them. You need to break out with them. B, are you sure that's not the name of some kind of crazy new sex thing? Kids today in high school... You split a pizza with them? That's disgusting. You split a pizza with him?

Gross. And I kissed you. I just kissed you. I'm gonna go vomit and then cut my tongue off. I think just as a good ground rule, don't make out with anybody that's not your significant other. Just to be on the safe side, probably don't make out with anybody else. Unless they're famous. Unless they're famous.

And that's always cool. Just for the story. Yahoo Answers user Jake Sully asks, Would you book an international flight on 9-11? Some people are superstitious and won't. What about you? I wanted to book a flight to London in September and I see that on 9-11 some flights are a bit cheaper. I am wondering why.

Jake Sully was not, as you might imagine, booking a flight to Pandora. He would do that on 9-11 if that was the only day it was available. Is that international travel? Flying to Pandora on 9-11? Is that the guy from... I still haven't seen Pandora. Yeah, Pandora by James Cameroon. What?

No, it's called Avatar. Oh, right. Again, was that the 3D one? It's open in Francher and he goes to the core of the Earth. And then he finds Smurfs and they're giant. Giant Smurfs, man-eating Smurfs. And he and Native Americans fight to defend the core of the Earth. Justin, how did you get into my dream last night?

God, now that's a movie, James Cameroon. Either that or T4. That's what I want from you. Or is it T5? Jake Sully, listen. Jake Sully. Jake. Lightning don't strike twice in the same place.

I think I would... That's actually not true. I would only fly on 9-11. That is the safest day to fly. That is the safest day to fly. Everyone knows that if there's one thing terrorists are afraid of, it's cliches. So... 9-11, been there, done that.

I was in the 9-11... Yeah, I was in the 9-11 before it was cool. It was so 2001. Ever since they used 9-11 in that episode of the OC, it was like everybody was in the 9-11. I was like, well, kind of over it. 9-12, I think, is what you need to be worried about. That's the day, man. Or 9-10, where everybody is just getting psyched for 9-11.

And then it's like, what happened? Doing some pre-gamey. Although... Actually, what you need to be afraid of? 3-12. Just trust me, I've got a bad feeling. Really? Yeah, 3-12.

I have a question I hope you can help me with. In 2012, you mean? Yes. My wife and I have two kids, a two-year-old girl and a five-year-old boy. Ever since my son could speak, my wife and I have been discriminating about one thing. What's called his private area. My wife, I would just call it his bedroom, but my wife being a traditionalist refers to it as his penis. I, being a little more hip, call it his junk.

Now, when he refers to it as his junk, my wife cringes and gives me dirty looks. What do you guys think? Where do you stay on the matter? I think you need to think about what's creepier, that, or a little three-year-old kid saying, excuse me, papa, my penis is having a crush. What happened to Weiner? Why can't kids call it their worm? You know what?

Yeah, there it is. Wormy was my option until, um, sophomore year of high school. The sophomore year of high school, until then it was your worm. Which got awkward once the intimate time started up. Yeah. Like, at a high school dancing. Cause Griffin was having intimate times in freshman year. Can you feel, can you feel my wormy poking through these, these dress pants?

Oh, here comes the wormy. These fashionable slacks. The early bird gets this wormy. What are you girls gonna be the early bird? I think you should teach your son to be ashamed of his sexuality and not refer to it at all. Yeah. Yeah. Just every time he brings it up, posing down.

Have you considered my shame? My shame, my evil, my pants evil. Now, what is, what is, what's going on in your five-year-old's life that this is a recurring problem for you? Yo, Pops! Excuse me. What do I call this thing? What's the deal with the Daniel? We're talking about, we're talking about my junk.

Jimmy kindergarten says to call it ma'kakenballs. Teach gets mad when I call it that. What's do I call it? Well, well, Ali G, I don't know how you got in place with my son. Can I suggest maybe you let him name it? I just came up with the best name for it. Oh God. It's Wiener machine.

It's Wiener machine. Machine what about something nice and non-specific like coach Coach is good cuz he like He's got a whistle call your coach and call his assistant And then one is your special teams coach That's your be-hole I Think the real problem you're faced with is your two-year-old girl will eventually need to have this same conversation And my advice to you is you just want to get out of it

There's gonna be a house word for this and you've got to be careful because someday your little girl is gonna be married She's gonna be a never mind, but you see the problem here. This has got to be a nice non-specific word You know what I mean? This is gotta be vagina flower No, that don't call the Opposite of what that is not gonna teach him anything what how about How about this how about What about Peter I I think I think if everybody's calling it a penis you're gonna take the power away from that

And plus you set up that really great moment in sex at in high school where she just slowly raises her hand She's like, um I'm very confused. What about pistol and tell your girls hers is called a stamen Really mess them up I have that one was from Scott by the way. We didn't say his name and I yeah We want to make sure you get that out there. We don't want you to get confused. That was from you That wasn't some other guy if somebody else had written and we might have given him a different answer But right now I think we're what's our like final decision on this coach and pistol coach and pistol?

Or coach pistols. I have conflicting views about pornography says an anonymous writer from Gmail I love it. Yes, but I realized in most of its forms is to grade into women Okay, also my girlfriend commanded I quit watching it and I hate to have to lie to her because I still watch it anyway It's watching it. I try Watching it should I try to resist these animal impulses and live a life of celibacy only jerking off to my imagination Or am I blowing this out of proportion? Should I try to find feminist porn? Does it exist? Are you sure right now dude? Are you?

Click that off get that off turn it off turn it off and let's just talk for us for one second No off. Don't just mute it off. Thank you If there is foot crush porn, there's probably feminist porn like I don't I don't think that's up for debate I Think you could probably Google it though. I be careful Because you can end up with Femma piss porn, that's not good or feminine mist porn and that's really weird I'm listening buddy. I we understand where you're coming from and we know you better than this But the next time you have this conversation with someone leave out the phrase animal impulses

It sends a bad message that I don't think you want to weird direction out there Listen, I'm an anonymous here is hungry like the wolf Yeah On the lookout I think he just wrote us to get recommendations on sites Oh, is that what you guys what are the hot sites you guys are into these days for feminist porn? First off, thank your girlfriend for Porn can so quickly Turn kind of stale. So thank your girlfriend for making it dirty and illicit and sexier than ever

If by foreboding you from looking at it. Yes, the danger The trick is something he brought up Which is his imagination? Let me tell you some yeah Scenarios you can invent up in your noodle up there me way better than anything on the nets Well, hello miss Ellen the generous You But to answer your question really don't don't be a don't be a sicko Shit's unhealthy. There is nothing sick about watching porn

Throwing it out there Yeah, it's not it's not good. You should never watch you guys. You guys get dirtier I'm trying to get dirtier for my brother my brother me and my girlfriend say I shouldn't be here Naughty boy So bad. Oh god, it's gross take off those dungarees and let's get you punished No Benjamin Benjamin writes to us from Gmail I Love your show. I'll be 13 on August 20th Griffin is my favorite person in BNB a.m.

But I love Justin and Travis. I would really like it if you just randomly said pick chicken rules Okay, pick chicken rules. Thanks. Oh, yeah I also follow you guys on Facebook and Twitter, and I'm sure I is a popcorn Okay, I imagine this is a popcorn fart, but I can't be certain It's hard to say his 12 year old hotmail account automatically sensors that word Benjamin part pink chicken rolls and and thank you for listening. He chicken does chicken does rule Yahoo answers user Duke power hand My whole day is about that name now. What is it again Duke power hand?

That sounds like the greatest peripheral ever he asks Obama implements a white only tax He explains tanning beds doesn't this tax fold this proportionately on Caucasians Yes, that is the mayonnaise tax, but you don't Put it on This Kenny G. Tax is killing me This is killing I gotta tell you guys I was on Yahoo today, and it was a hotbed of political and religious discussion Was it I can't like

Just people going back and forth like God doesn't exist God totally exists Obama is a Muslim like it's taxing white usually it's such it's It's you know people helping people that's the point of this website or people today It was today. It was just I don't know it really brought me down People waging war on each other people. I can't I can't say it enough When you want to have an important political and religious discussion Yahoo answers is the place to go. It is the Yeah, it's a hotbed of learning

Philosophical growing I graduated last year, and I've been working for the past 10 months and saving most of the money This is from Jen's via Gmail. I'm 20 years old and been planning to go traveling there this year mostly in Asia My problem is that my friend I was going with bailed and it's gonna start studying again There's some people my age soon to be doing after getting anxiety for not doing shit and just staying at home Note to yourself Alan. This is you in five years getting shit together So what do I do? Since all my other friends are either studying or just out of cash It's basically impossible to get one of them to come so I either go alone

Which is kind of scary and not as fun or I find some random person on the internet to join me Which seems weird and you might get sick of him or her pretty fast. Yeah, it is You know it's scarier a Random person on the internet traveling with you. Yeah, I've never seen hostile, but this sounds like how that movie plays out Imagine that moment you wake up in the train car, and they're just staring at you With your own eyes that they've pried out of your head You sleep so nicely. I Just love it

Jens don't travel What just don't really travel Think of all the things you could spend that money on that you've saved up over the past ten months that you could keep For longer than the duration of your travel. No griffin. I think I never goes away memories Except they do if you don't take enough ganko like You can easily lose that shit, and then it's like oh, man I totally should have spent that that two thousand dollars on a scooter So so there you have it Jens. I guess my advice is travel by yourself

It seems fine, but think of it like a vision quest, you know what I mean? You'll get more out of it, and you'll feel more Self-assured and independent or you'll get knifed in an alley In Hongdae a language point you learn something else about yourself, and that is that you are vulnerable to believe it Go on a real vision quest Just just go into the desert with some peyote, and then It'll feel like you're traveling in Asia because the sky around you will turn into artwork from Asia albums

You You yeah, it's hard. I would say maybe if you got this money socked away, right just Just keep it socked away like you can always just keep adding to it, and Soon you'll meet someone who would be down to go with you I don't think going by yourself is a great idea First off you're gonna need somebody to talk to or you're gonna go crazy with jungle madness Second you want somebody to be able to take pictures of you and Because without pictures it didn't happen

Gosh this next email we're running along with this next email is so good. Okay. Let me just real quick I'm 16 from Vancouver, Canada, and my grandmother moved in with my family a few months ago Recently she's been trying to connect with me, which in her mind means going out to buy gangsta clothes baggy pants and lots of Ed Hardy bling and lots of rap music Now she follows me around asking what's up J dog and blasting 50 cent from our home speaker system At first it was easy to ignore But now she's talking like this G ma thing as she calls it outside and even approaches my home dogs when we're at the mall and What's even we're about this whole situation is that I'm more of an alternative guy or even hipster myself

So I have no idea where she got the scheme from it's terrifying Help me. I'm so confused as to what to do. Should I mock her or something James from Gmail. Oh Christ James I have to ask James would it be better if your grandma was a huge hipster? Like dressed up and like one of those like one-piece tunics and it's like hey, do you hear that new animal collective album? That sucks. Nothing's good anymore. Well, I think James's bigger problem is he's trapped in the Tyler Perry movie What Tyler Perry movie is that Travis? Can you come up with a name real quick? Which what's your favorite? Medea, but I haven't seen any There's Medea go to jail or Medea's family region. I think you just love I just need think you just love me to love you G

Ma love her as much as you can. I I think that's fresh that she's putting in the effort I think you should have to encourage her to just be yourself Unless she's a racist and a lot of people all people are so I it's a tough call to make I Say you cherish it. I think that's bad. I think you cherish it because I think it's awesome I think you need to have interviews pictures taken with her She can be big on the net on the web Internet celebrity, I think that's your how about this my podcast

G ma on me. Oh my Jesus senator. I'll put her on. I'll think I'll take Griffin off put her on I want to hear Griffin's last question But first I want to Well, I'm gonna read you an email first and then we'll get to the other stuff We got this email from our buddy Tristan the Marine And it's a little long, but Tristan's a real close friend of show. So I want to read it He says hey, brother's McElroy and hello to all you amazing good-looking listeners Tristan the Marine here I'm writing this email with a heavy heart and a frown on my face

Because it pains me to say the following the next in BNBA. It will be the last episode of McElroy goodness I will get to listen to you for three long months. See I'm leaving for boot camp and recruit training depot Paris Island August 8th Other than occasional letters. I will have no contact with the outside world for 13 weeks I wanted to to write to tell the three of you and again those of you listening that What an encouragement you've been to me and how much joy you brought in my life in the time since in BNB AM launch I've had a wild ride getting ready to go boot camp while I will never doubt my commitment to serve my country and protecting our precious freedoms There have been times in the life. The end of the tunnel was very very dim Over the last almost skip ahead a little bit over the last few months in BNB AM has reminded me what I'm joining for

I'm joining for the people of this nation like Justin Griffin and Travis and all the listeners who care more about quality of life for Other people than themselves the people who are always willing to tell you straight up that you need to pack your shit and get the hell out of your Situation because it is the only way I'm proud to serve my country and even more proud than though that I'm serving for amazing people like you again Thank you from the bottom of my heart now seriously pack up your bags No one wants you around with all the pride and gratitude Tristan the Marine And he gives a special shout out to Bob Ball for the encouragement and all the listeners for encouraging him and He says who runs in prophet Alice. So Tristan

much much much love Safety continued safety, and I hope that Once you get a taste of killing you're still able to find hubris situations like our podcast And you don't turn into a murder automaton Oh That is a distinct possibility So thanks, so thanks, but always make sure you order for America not against America That is so key so important. You cannot enforce that enough. So we love you Tristan come back soon. Yes

Tristan get me in here. I think I don't know a lot about the military. I think boot camp is pretty sick I still want him to bring me in here I Bring me a necklace of ears Bring Tristan. I want a necklace of ears carved from your face. Yeah, I don't care who they come from Yeah, I do I Want I want it to be the people who say ill words about our show Make sure you play it for them on a boombox held over your head outside

So that I want to hear girl for the last question a couple quick notes Today is the last day you can pre-order a t-shirt for my brother my brother and me After that after today, you may be able to order them. We have no idea of how many are going to get Made other than our pre-orders So if you want to guarantee yourself one in the size and style that you would prefer You need to go over to my brother go to mbmbam.com and click on buy stuff and you can buy that So do that today. Don't wait. Don't hesitate. Don't contemplate. Don't debate. Don't masturbate. Don't masturbate Well, just not to porn is a wicked

you can also You can also buy our iPhone out there if you want it it's two bucks if you don't want it It's a big kill, but you listen all the shows from there You can ask some questions from there and we have a little bit of bonus content Maybe we should put a you think we should put that rap that that rap tune on there Content song that rap tune. Yeah and beat song rap and beat song And

Everything you want to know about asking us a question is available there. It'd be a bm Thank you guys calm a lot. We had our biggest download day last week and Thank you to maximum fun for that really awesome review and thanks everybody who bought t-shirts and the app and It's really nice. We're we'll promise to spend the money on like microphones and stuff I'm gonna make a show just a little bit of blow Just a little bit of a bump just a bump not an excessive amount of blow But just I just want like a pile of it on my desk that I can I don't think anything's gonna make

Nothing's gonna make the show better More better than than a quick pregame bump before each episode maybe just a bump bet Yeah, a bump a little bump a little teeth, you know, just just a little Stute except Griffin What is our last? Yeah, we answer the contemplate grow on I'll be honest. I've got like three I'm just gonna have to this one think about this Griffin This is Tristan's last episode my brother my brother me for four months. Okay, you gotta nail it Where do I find the new Justin beaver CD for my teen aged son

My son is getting ready to turn 18 on his birthday and all he talks about is how much he loves Justin beavers He has several Justin beaver posters all over his room And he wants to sing and choreograph cute little cheer dances to his musical stylings I really want to surprise him with a special birthday CD I'm Griffin McRoy. This has been my brother my brother me. You will never know me kiss your dad square on the lips Oh