My Brother, My Brother And Me - My Brother, My Brother and Me 17: Just the Stats, Fats

Episode Date: August 9, 2010

This week's episode is brought to you in stunning HIGH DEFINITION 360 DEGREE OMEGA-AUDIO, thanks to the acquisition of a new microphone for Travis, paid for by contributions from listeners like you. A...ssuming, of course, that you bought a T-Shirt or App. We feel the improved quality was the only missing ingredient keeping us from total podcast domination. Well, that and general laziness. Suggested talking points: The mane event, a touch of slavery, stalker/stalkee, embraces, algebra follies, Bs before Hs, The Biggest Loser, a PSA

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Starting point is 00:00:00 If you change your mind On the first in line Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me If you need me Let me know Gonna be around If you got no place to go
Starting point is 00:00:16 When you're feeling down If you're all alone When the breathing burns Time right now to slow it down Put a little soul in the bowl Relax You have done it You've cleared an hour in your day
Starting point is 00:00:34 To better yourself Involve in yourself And in better yourself And in big in yourself Most importantly This is my brother, my brother and me It's an advice show for the modern era I am your host
Starting point is 00:00:50 Co-host, provocateur, impresario Justin McRoy With me as always My brother Travis McRoy Yes, that is correct Who has a new microphone Do you like that? Do you like these people?
Starting point is 00:01:06 How's that? The smartest thing to spend your money on That you bought the t-shirts Is to put it back into my brother and my brother and me So it's like a You're not lining our pockets You're lining your ear Meat
Starting point is 00:01:22 So we spent $300 on new microphones And the other $300 We're going to spend to get Eddie Murphy On the show for just one episode Just one episode, guest spot No, nothing Off limits No rules
Starting point is 00:01:38 You would think $300 wouldn't be enough To net a performance by Axel Foley But I guess he's fallen On hard times It's plenty to get for Pluto Nash You know what I'm saying Meet Dave Meet Dave Cash
Starting point is 00:01:54 Those residuals Just aren't what he hoped they would be I don't understand why Hanan Manchin Wasn't as big as I thought it would be I'm Griffin McRoy, by the way You guys didn't let me There's a reason Look at Travis using the power of his microphone
Starting point is 00:02:10 To silence others What do you guys say we just Just chill this show Just take it easy, right? Just hang out Let's do a couple easy questions first Some slow balls First, let me take off my pants, hold on
Starting point is 00:02:26 Okay Thank God He has a new microphone that we can listen to it In perfect audio quality Okay, this is for form spring I have a mane of hair That helps break the ice with nearly everyone I've meet Jesus, man
Starting point is 00:02:42 What kind of product do you put in your hair? Hey, my drink is warmer Than it was Lots of people recognize me because of it But I want a job And looking the way I do, no one will employ me Should I sacrifice popularity for a job? Or remain penniless yet cool?
Starting point is 00:03:00 There's nothing cool about being penniless I've never seen a homeless man with a great head of hair Yeah, no one's like Hey, the moths in your hair are really sexy You seem like a cool guy What is that, bubble gum? I like that, looks nice In your nose
Starting point is 00:03:20 I think there's a way to have your cake And eat it too There have got to be jobs out there That you can Find employ at while being so her suit You could join Rusted Root, you could become a permanent member of the band Rusted Root
Starting point is 00:03:40 You could work as a bouncer At your local hookah bar You could become a barista At an independent coffee shop No, they frown on that shit They don't want your face pubes They don't want your face pubes in a macchiato How did this go from
Starting point is 00:03:58 He has a big head of head I took it like a beard too When he says mane I'm thinking like a lion's mane Going all the way around his head What? You think When you read mane, it's like rapping beats When you read mane, you think he's got a ring of hair
Starting point is 00:04:14 Around his head, like a lion Yeah, like a lion How did you get to be as old as you are And not know things Like what things are You don't know things that are things about them You don't know the things I don't need the house that much
Starting point is 00:04:30 Justin, that kind of thing comes with a new microphone That kind of clarity And understanding My brother and me, what can I do to build my confidence So I can go out there and meet some new ladies Around my age, or is focusing on school and work now Meeting someone if I'm lucky In an okay strategy for the next couple of years
Starting point is 00:04:46 It's like I'm desperate for some action I just wonder if I'm making a mistake By not going out there and making myself available Kevin Well, I hope that latter strategy is a good one I sure hope so Do you think it's going to be like a pizza delivery girl? Like, hi
Starting point is 00:05:04 I have these 24 buffalo wings That you ordered with extra blue cheese Hey, you are cute Nice tip Do you want to go on a date? Blue cheese is my favorite too Kevin
Starting point is 00:05:20 Cut your fingernails, take the boards off the windows Get out there, meet some people Stop living, I am legend Get out there It's a sad fact to reality Kevin, but here's the thing Maybe you are going to meet your special lady Maybe
Starting point is 00:05:36 You know Maybe you are going to be the kind of guy Who just walks into a gas station one day And there she is But statistically speaking That somebody special Is going to be a special Or somebody if you've exposed yourself
Starting point is 00:05:52 To more members of the opposite sex That's just science Metaphorically Don't really expose yourself We don't want to be party to that Although you don't know You are in federal prison So
Starting point is 00:06:08 Kevin, you got to get out there You got to say hi Building confidence goes You got to Not be afraid to fail Unfortunately It's not going to be a confidence build Especially if you are not good at it
Starting point is 00:06:24 Just don't fail In front of anybody Because that will be so embarrassing Why don't you take her into dark Abandoned alley where no one can see And then fail That's a good opening line too I'm about to hit on you
Starting point is 00:06:40 But I'd like to take you to a dark abandoned alley To do it in Because I don't want anybody to see That should be a pretty good icebreaker It's no mane of hair As an icebreaker, but it is a pretty good one I'll tell you this, you'll get a reaction every time And that's what you're looking for
Starting point is 00:06:56 You're just looking for a reaction Can I suggest Strong by being constantly rejected That's how some people would do it Just build up that thick hide The kind you keep feeling anything You know what you could do Just walk up to girls randomly
Starting point is 00:07:12 And just say no thanks And then walk away Say you're like mass rejecting Lots of girls Without ever risking being rejected Take it a step further, walk into a bar And announce at the top of your lungs I don't want to sleep with any of you
Starting point is 00:07:28 Sorry ladies They'll flock to you as you leave the bar Get a t-shirt that says sorry ladies Off limits I bet that t-shirt would work for you I bet that would work Y'all can answer You two work it out
Starting point is 00:07:44 Travis, go There was a comedian once who said The best way to get a woman to sleep with you Is to walk in and tell her that you're bad at sex So I was just going to say Approach women and say Be comfortable and don't know how to talk to women And just lead with that
Starting point is 00:08:00 That's my advice, go Griffin, go Yeah, who answers user Tessa Mission asks Oh, this was sent in by A Twitter user Mr. D. Muffin So thank you Mr. D. Muffin Tessa Mission asks When I move out, I want to adopt a whole family
Starting point is 00:08:16 From Ethiopia I have a heart for starving children And I'm about to move out And I'm getting a 149 acre home And I plan to have a farm But I would like to help a family out And adopt a whole family And build them their own little house on my land
Starting point is 00:08:32 And share a little bit of land for them I was wondering if they would let me take them Out of their country without a passport Or... Um... Yeah, that's how it works You need to make sure you poke holes in the box Yeah, I'm pretty sure
Starting point is 00:08:48 What you just described was Light slavery Just a mild slavery Just maybe a little... A touch of slavery You just described the PG-13 Edited for TV version of Roots
Starting point is 00:09:04 No, I just want to I want to adopt This family From another nation Are you with me so far? They can live on my... I wouldn't call it a plantation But it is plantation sized
Starting point is 00:09:20 A Funtation A Funtation, sure You're on the Funtation yet But I'm thinking about getting in the Crop Game It would be handy if they wanted to Help out and exchange rooms Room and board Textiles
Starting point is 00:09:36 Textiles? They're going to be picking Felt Felt, Kemp Stuff along those lines I'm going to build them a house though Not a big house Not a small house, right? Not tiny
Starting point is 00:09:52 And I imagine when I adopt them At first they'll be really scared Because they're not going to know what's going on They may resist even But I think eventually they'll appreciate The fulfillment A fulfilling day of work can provide
Starting point is 00:10:08 So lady You don't have a heart for starving children You are a slave master You're a slave master There is a legal It's the warm feeling she gets From the terrifying looks on their faces That's all the payment she needs
Starting point is 00:10:24 Is it okay They're free labor Is it okay to pee in the bathroom Sink if you're drunk I ran the faucet for a while If that helped Read the last Read it all together
Starting point is 00:10:40 Making sure that you add that last word Because it really makes it because it really makes it. Is it OK to pee in the bathroom sink if you're drunk? I ran the faucet for a while, if that helped. Peace. Nick, I am before I answer your question, I am put off by the change of tense
Starting point is 00:11:02 in the middle of your question, because you went from like, it sounds like you made a decision right after that question mark and then are retroactively asking our forgiveness. That's that's the context to me. That's the hidden meaning between the lines or the question marks in this case. He didn't pee in my bathroom sink, though. So he has nothing to, he has nothing to ask forgiveness for.
Starting point is 00:11:24 That's a good question. Are you peeing in your own bathroom sink or like the bathroom sink at a bar, because that's not OK? I'm sure if we did a silent canvas of the three people on this podcast, we could probably find one person who is peed in the bathroom sink on a regular basis, not anymore. But you're thinking just one. Oh, Jesus, I will say,
Starting point is 00:11:48 statistically speaking, at least one person on this podcast, at least one, regularly less than three. We I OK, I think that. I have to ask this question. What is the compulsion for peeing in the sink? It's just there and you're just like, especially when you've been drinking. I don't know if you're like throwing off society's rules or just saying you're your own man and you pee where you want.
Starting point is 00:12:17 I mean, it's a pretty sucky revolution because it's still like the same spot. So you're not exactly, you know, they're not making post avoid signs about it. You know, yeah, it's I mean, it's kind of an act of rebellion. You think it is not a good one, not like a super rebellious one. Just clean it up afterwards. So he ran the faucet if it helps. I think what we've agreed on is it's not OK to pee in the sink
Starting point is 00:12:41 if you're drunk, but if you're sober, it's totally cool. Yeah, I just want it to be a choice. Yeah, guys, I'm in love with my best friend of two years, and I'm not sure if she likes me back. Any advice? You should move away. Move away, man. Change your name. Or I got an alternate. How about this?
Starting point is 00:13:02 Ask her pussy. I mean, why would you ask her to get the punctuation straight in that sentence, is it ask her pussy or ask her pussy? Now, get a defining rod. No, and I say that I call you that that name, which I shouldn't be using female genitalia as a slang term. I'm going to say Wimpo. Yeah, about Weiner.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Ask her Weiner. Stop being a Weiner and ask her Weiner. I say that with love. She's your best friend. Two years. That's at one thirty fifth of your life, statistically speaking. How about you just ask her and either get to French and or beat she's out of there if and keep this in mind when you ask her. And if she says no, you do have to move away. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:53 So there's your answer. Now, do me a favor and stop listening so I can give everyone else an answer. She doesn't like him. No, that's not true. Now, that's not true. If after two years, he doesn't know if she likes him back. Dude, dude, shy. Dude, shy. Listen, form spring, dude, just ask her.
Starting point is 00:14:10 Trust me, because that's going to be the best day ever. If it works, if it works, we're a mom. Ask her mom and she likes. Yep. Yahoo Answers user, Gally McClure. No, no, you just want to go ahead and that's not the name. That's not. No, the name is David. David asks.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Does a woman ever love a stalker? A stalker who stalks 24 seven from childhood to adulthood for five long years. Wait, what? What? Yeah, they're they're they're there are many things happening here. I am uncomfortable with this. Wait, is there more of the question? There are additional details that say I mean, from teen to adult age.
Starting point is 00:15:01 So I would say maybe. And also my delete key is broken, so I can't edit that thing. I said just a second ago. Sixteen to twenty one, I'll say. OK. But here's the thing. OK. Here's here's let's inception this shit and kick it on another level. Incept it. I'm going to incept it. Is this the stalker asking the question?
Starting point is 00:15:24 Or is it the stocky? Oh, my God. You just blew my mind. My mind is blown. You think that maybe she's like, listen, I don't want to give everybody the wrong idea about stalking. But sometimes it works like maybe. Yeah, maybe she actually kind of likes this dude that that she sees occasionally going through her trash.
Starting point is 00:15:49 But she doesn't know if it's OK to like him. She hated and hated it and was scared of it and couldn't stand it. And then after years of it, she's it's it's not that she loves it. She's used to it. It's like the New Arcade Fire album. You just you just wait and wait and wait. And eventually you get him. And finally, you you get this stalker. You understand where he's coming from.
Starting point is 00:16:13 You know, I just gave me an idea. I if I ever stalk someone, I'm going to put on a giant raccoon suit before I start going through their trash. That buys me like 20 minutes. How do you how do you don't move? Don't move, but they can smell fear. They can smell fear. That ringtail bastard.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Hey, I've wanted braces for a couple of years now and have finally gone to the orthodontist. I was expecting to pay around 1,800 to 2,000 squiggle marks. I believe that's pounds. Is it pounders at Lyra, which even at that amount would be very really difficult for me to pay. But once I got to the orthodontist, he told me it would cost 3,200 Lyra Euro pounds to have braces.
Starting point is 00:17:01 This amount would mean a huge commitment over two years of my life. I'm only 18 and want to go to university next year. My teeth are not extremely crooked, but they definitely need braces. Should I plunge into debt for a couple of years with the reward of straight teeth or wait, wait it out until I'm 24 to 25 or maybe never? I don't know who to ask. Please help. Thanks. David, I want to point out he didn't type
Starting point is 00:17:24 not not extremely crooked, but they definitely need braces. He says not extremely crooked, but they defiantly need braces, which I like. You're like, hey, hey, listen, I'm your teeth. Deal with it. Give me some braces, you bastard. Give me braces, David. I'm again, I can't say this enough. I know I brought it up in a few episodes, but I was the only macaroy
Starting point is 00:17:47 fortunate enough to know the sweet embrace of braces. There's no amount too high for that feeling. You know how? You know how, like, in your life, you have these random things or like everyone's staring at my eyebrow. Everyone's looking at my, you know, this is it on my cheek. Everyone looks at your teeth. It is actually true.
Starting point is 00:18:12 Look to your grill. Get that grill fixed. Because when you talk, everyone's looking at your mouth. It's true. Or with that, you could just tell people to deal with it. Hey, save some money. Get a tattoo on your lip that says deal with it. That would be way cheaper.
Starting point is 00:18:32 And it would like that's that's that's something people are going to remember. So whatever happened to David, who used to come around, I don't remember David, but I do remember a guy who had a tattoo on his lip that said deal with it. And I respected him for it. Can the top lip, can the top lip say, yeah, I know. And the bottom lip say, deal with it. Yeah. And on the inside, you pull down your lower lip and there's a Chinese character for strength.
Starting point is 00:18:59 Have you thought about getting like a grill, like getting gold teeth, diamonds? Yes, that's got to be cheaper. But if you've got if you've got a fucked up grill and you get a real grill on top of it, it's going to you're going to look like a Bond villain. Yes. Yes. Why are you listing things that are positives and pretending they're negatives? Why is that not awesome?
Starting point is 00:19:22 I'm saying either get that sweet embrace because it feels so good. I got to tell you, having your teeth move around. Oh, it's an experience that I think it would sell better if they were called embraces. Embraces, I don't think so. I would buy them. I don't even need them. Or just be confident because people find confidence in faults. Sexy. That's why Kirsten Dunst is as famous as she is nowadays.
Starting point is 00:19:48 She's got a girl that looks like she stopped a train with her teeth. I wouldn't go that far, but I do know what you're saying. Confidence. If you don't pretend it's a thing, other people won't even notice. I know I have someone confidence. What? Having thirty two hundred dollars in their pocket. Well, not dollars, though. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:09 It might be really cheap. I don't know what this money means. Are there. Is it rubles? Do people still use those rubles? I think it's shekels. Shekels. Brothers. Brothers three help me out at the moment. I'm an algebra class I failed last year. I'm in an algebra class I failed last year and I got stuck with the same old bag
Starting point is 00:20:28 lecturer. I need to pass this class to get my engineering degree, Josh, from Gmail. Josh didn't explicitly state a problem in this question. Yeah, it sounds like, Josh, you're on the right track. I'm not good at algebra. Like if you if you've come to the exact wrong place, if that's what you're looking for. Geometry may be something, but I can tell you how to cheat, which is how I got through both of my high school algebra classes. Go on.
Starting point is 00:20:58 You said you're a smart kid who wants friends. Hey, hey, Josh, I'm going to hit you with something. Kind of pull the camera back a little bit. Let's zoom out for a second. Maybe you are in the wrong field. Maybe you are cut out for this. Maybe this isn't your right calling. If you're having such trouble.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Yeah, I don't play the way. Math is kind of important in engineering, isn't it? Yeah, it seems like you need to know this shit. Like if it's like it's tough for you, you know, bridges and shit, right? Yeah, I kind of want you on point, though. I kind of want you to be like really bomb at this class. I would like you to leave the class, stand up and walk out and be like, no bridges for me.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Thanks, you know, what has never like I've never been walking across a bridge and had someone say, you know, who built this bridge? The guy who can't do algebra and just felt a wash with confidence. Yeah, I remember when I built this bridge. That's the third time I felt algebra and hey, it's not my fault. I was in the same lecture, but I did drop out of school. I don't know why they let me make a bridge. I am good in Lagos directly in the air.
Starting point is 00:22:06 That's only because it's up. You got to let a boat through. Josh, just stand up and announce the class that algebra is useless. And see how the teacher reacts. She may he or she I guess old bag. That sounds like a she she may wink out of existence when faced with that sort of incontrovertible logic. I did that to a to a social studies teacher one time.
Starting point is 00:22:31 Did you work? And I said, this is this is so pointless. I will never use this information. And then they just they cease to exist. Stand up and yell. You, madam, have killed the frail old lady that is algebra. And see if you can start leading a revolt. Yeah. Oh, so you want him to kill her?
Starting point is 00:22:52 Lord of the fly style. You know what I ain't against it. Blow that conch shell. Blow that conch shell. Get Peggy this mother. Dear Mubim Bam, I'm having a bit of difficulty with the bros before hose rule. Well, it's not a good start, but keep going. The majority of my friends happen to be female and I only have a few male friends.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Would my female friends be considered bros and my male friends hose? Thanks for your help. Um, no, no, you're doing it wrong. You're doing it wrong. Bros before hose is kind of a dumb thing to say. Yep. I want to deconstruct it and take you back. You there is bros before hose is something that men say to each other to make themselves feel better because I got I want to take you real deep in here.
Starting point is 00:23:42 It's always hoes before bras. It's always women always cars. Let's peel back another thinking about women. They're not thinking about you. Peel back another layer, though, because the bigger problem here is that you are unironically using the word bro and ho. I don't know which one's worse, but pretty bad. They're both really bad.
Starting point is 00:24:05 Uh, I, I. How about maybe you're in the chicks before Dix kind of situation? In any event, your male friends would never be your hose. That is it is important to know. Yeah, it's a good test. Here's a good test. Get gather all your male friends together at Giovanni's. Walk into Giovanni's and say, what's up, my host?
Starting point is 00:24:28 Supposed. Supposed. Yeah, I bet not good. The thing is the phrase bros before host is something that the other guys use to keep you from like ditching them. It's not like, uh, it's nothing any guy has ever sat down and go, you know, I'd love to go home with this lady, but bros before hoes, I suppose. It does.
Starting point is 00:24:52 The only way to stress before hoes, I suppose should be the new one. Bros before hoes only apply. Travis is right. It's never a life choice, like guideposts. You never say like, ah, I should go to my best friend Tommy's, uh, uh, Bar Mitzvah, but I have a date with this girl who is very attractive. Well, bros before hoes, it's not like that. It's something where he calls you and says, Hey, I'm going to invoke
Starting point is 00:25:19 bros before hoes, I suppose, are you? Oh, you got me good. I've been trying to think of a bros before hoes, except after Joe's. It's escaping me. Except after Mo's, because if you've had Mo's burritos, you need to just go home. Bros after bros before hoes, except after Mo's. Also sounding like a neighbor in a. It does work for your literal bros, though.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Yeah, always push comes to shove. You're real, you're real biological bros should. And we are, we will remind you, oh, we are your biological brothers. I've been doing that wrong for years, then for years. Bio bros before hoes, what you say? Biodome before hoes late to the fad on Twitter asks if Mbembe is. OK, this is hard. If Mbmbam is pronounced Mbembam, are the fans Mbembambino's?
Starting point is 00:26:16 I think that's kind of fresh. I'm not crazy about it. Only only the only the dudes. I kind of like I kind of like Mamba's or Mbembambino's. I don't know. I we need some some guidance here. Let us know on Twitter, which one what you like. If there's a different if there's a different one you like, can we pick
Starting point is 00:26:35 out someone who's our greatest fan and call him the great Bimbambino? We can. Someone would have been interested. And then our fattest fan can be the great handbino. If you think you're the fattest Mbembamban fan, let us know. We just went to the greatest reality TV show. Are you the fattest Mbembambam fan? I think that's just called the biggest loser. And it already exists.
Starting point is 00:27:01 Yeah, it is. Yeah, really. So if you are Mbembambam's fattest fan, you send in an email or a tweet with your your current total weight in LB's. No pictures of your girth, because I ain't trying to get sick over here. Um, just the just the facts and figures. Just the stats. And then let us know.
Starting point is 00:27:23 Just the stats. That's that moment. That's the name of this contest. Just the stats, comma, fats. And if you're the fat, if you're the fattest one, I will give you a free code to download in BBA and the experience. The fat experience. Don't need that iPhone, though.
Starting point is 00:27:38 And that's Domino. Stop applying. Yeah, you are dead. Yahoo! Answers user. I look so good without you. Can we not have one where it's like, are you Mbembamb's sexiest listener? No, that's not not required. Picks please.
Starting point is 00:27:53 The fattest one. Oh, God, Yahoo! Answers user. I look so good without you. Asks, is there? Oh, Jesus, is there was a disease and it killed everyone on this planet except you and some other person who was ugly? It didn't kill you two because you were both immune to it. Kind of like in the movie.
Starting point is 00:28:14 I am legend. Weird. Except opposite. Would you kill yourself or would you continue living and have a sexual relationship with that one ugly person? Oh, my God. Is this person asking, would you rather kill yourself than fucking ugly? Not just yourself.
Starting point is 00:28:29 Exactly. Would you would you rather bring humanity to an end? Yeah. Or or stick it out. That is speaking of confidence. That's got to be like the worst hit, like two people left. You look at them and just say, well, that ends this chapter of humanity. I suppose dead.
Starting point is 00:28:48 Just make sure you say something to him before because I wanted to live with that. I want I want the that's how humanity should go out with a sad person. Too ugly to have sex with. Not with a bang, but with a suicide or a double. Hey, why don't you just kill that other person? I mean, doesn't that solve your problem or just solve here? If you don't want to have sex with this ugly person because you're the last person on earth, just don't have sex with and don't kill yourself.
Starting point is 00:29:19 Why do you have to kill yourself? Yeah, or just junk on him. Did whatever. Did did the disease also destroy all the bags in the world? Come on. Come on. You take care of this. But don't.
Starting point is 00:29:37 OK, don't kill yourself. Please, for all of us, just start. Although, you know what? I was going to say they should not bring humanity to a halt. But think about it. Half ago, kids, nobody wants that whole human race. Like does that that gene will never come out of the pool. The ugly gene, whatever.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Me, all my father, yeah, I'm one 16th ugly. My great, great grandmother was ugly. I hate my bim bam. I'd really like to. Hey, I'd really like to have one of my questions answer on the show, but my life isn't interesting enough that I have any questions. Is there any you're doing it wrong, dude? Is there any way you guys can help me out to come up with a question to ask you?
Starting point is 00:30:17 All right, I'm so glad you asked. This is a little bit before we get into this, this is a little bit like the could God make a rock so big that even he couldn't lift a thing, right? Like this is pretty spacey. This is we come up with a question that we couldn't answer. We may make this out of existence. But we do. We do need to address some things.
Starting point is 00:30:38 OK, that have been happening in our lives in the life of the show. We're so happy that people have been sitting in questions. I was like from episode one, we started getting more than enough questions that we needed to put an episode together. And that's awesome. That's really great. But they've started to take a turn.
Starting point is 00:31:01 What kind of turn? A turn towards the creepy. And I'm not saying all of them. If your episode, if your question is on on the show, it's not because it was creepy, but I don't know. I don't know how to address this because I don't want to sound ungrateful because I am super, super grateful. Stop asking us about poop.
Starting point is 00:31:23 That's a good first step. If that is even in there, even as a concept, just edit it out. I'm not not good. Not a good question, because we probably won't read that on the show. I can't even say that because I'm coming. I have my my my traffic is rerouted through China. And they they censor anything scatological that I talk about.
Starting point is 00:31:45 So that's pretty that's pretty wack. Speaking of wack, maybe don't ask creepy questions about like. Jane, oh, or J.O. Or J.O. Because that's that jingle won't get read either. Or Kimbo Slice, you know that? Don't ask me those things. Just ask us just ask a straight up question.
Starting point is 00:32:13 True from your own life, not made up because we know if you're making things up. It's pretty obvious you said and made up things and like they're funny. And we appreciate the humor and like it's so awesome that you want to share that that funny story with us. But it didn't happen. We're not going to read it on the show, probably. I'd say what I would like to see if you can't come up with a question or if you've had a question before and you followed our advice,
Starting point is 00:32:39 I would like to know how that worked out for you. We can maybe read some of those. You should. I would remind you, never follow our advice. But if you do, I think the best thing liable, the best thing I can tell you is to ask for advice about something. Don't like ask a question like, what's your favorite type of hot dog? But but ask for advice because it's an advice show or do it. That one guy did and send us pictures of his girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:33:12 That works, too. Yeah, that was pretty cool. Yeah, I like that. Tell us how fat you are. So either ask for advice, tell us how fat you are. Or send emails about how much you like Griffin. Just stats, bats, please. I have a two year old son who is awesome. And lately, everybody thinks that Catherine never is like,
Starting point is 00:33:33 I have a two year old kid who's dumb, boring. He's a whack. Do something fun, stupid. I think I have another one. Oh, ever since I was a little girl, I only wanted one child. And now I'm not sure if I really want another child or I miss having a baby because my son is getting older. What to do? Oh, man, that's pretty that's true. I think it would be pretty lonely growing up an only child.
Starting point is 00:33:56 I think you should probably have three kids. I think that's about the right number and three boys, three boys. Three beautiful bouncing baby boys. Two year old is pretty good. Let's have another one, though, Catherine. Let's I want you. OK, one. You're asking the wrong. This is you're doing it wrong. OK.
Starting point is 00:34:18 You're you shouldn't ask us if you should have a child. But if you do and I'm going to wholeheartedly insist that you do now, it you have to name it something show related because it's very existence is thanks to my brother, my brother. We're basically we basically are going to have a son. The three of us are going to have a son pretty soon. Yeah, we're going to be your child's godparents where it's Podfather. Holy shit. I love it.
Starting point is 00:34:43 And that's got to be trademarked somewhere. We did just the copy. You're right. The. Yeah, I want you to do is when you get ready for the baby making times, however that works, yeah, play this episode. Put us on in the background because we want our son to have a strong, confident voice in his in his life that he can.
Starting point is 00:35:08 He knows that he can turn to whenever he needs anything except for money. Yeah, and make sure you play our show on headphones on your belly, like I see on TV sometimes with with a Mozart and stuff. Baby Einstein tapes. We should make baby Einstein tapes. That'd be great. But it's cool instead of smart. We make it like for a mission.
Starting point is 00:35:28 Justin Travis Griffin, the third. I love it. What about Batman? I see. I was thinking Preston Preston. Hi, I'm Preston Bimbam Stevenson. It's a pleasure and say and I want to be the next president of the United States. That's what I hear in my head when I appreciate your support. I appreciate your support. I'm it's an unprecedented third term.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Oh, who are these three guys hanging from my coattails? Those are my pod fathers. We're going to find them lush cabinet positions in a lush cabinet. Oh, this is nice. This velvet is great. I want to hear Griffin's last question, but a couple of things real quick. First, if you want to ask a question of the show, all the methods you can do that on are at mbmbam.com.
Starting point is 00:36:15 You we love it when people tweet about quotes or how fat they are. Just make sure you use that mbmbam hashtag. If you want to buy something, there's a buy stuff link there where you can buy our My Brother, My Brother, Me experience. It's two dollars. You can listen to all the shows and ask those questions. And there's some special features. And you can also you can still get t shirts.
Starting point is 00:36:45 We the preorders are over, but we have some extra supply. So those are available on the site. And those are those are going to start shipping out, hopefully this week. They're yeah, and they're going to be shipped and they ordered that they were ordered. So if you got on it early, then they they should be there. Thank you. You guys are so super supportive. With the t shirts and and the app and everything. And we really seriously cannot tell you enough how much we appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:37:12 You guys have been super, super cool about it. And and make sure when you get your t shirt, I want to see pictures of everybody wearing t shirts and like we can make a page on the site where people can just and and not just wearing the t shirt. I would like to see it in provocative places like places where perhaps Hey, Jeffrey T shirt isn't appropriate. Yeah, yeah, like a funeral. Yeah, especially a funeral.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Nothing turns a funeral into a funeral like a T shirt. And nothing turns a funeral into a funnel like a funnel. And if you know someone who's good at making websites, I think we could use a new one. So let us know kind of I'm looking at our website right now. It looks like an ad for the New York Times. But so we just adopt an Ethiopian family to make us a website. Make that website as quick as you want.
Starting point is 00:38:07 But do make it. We do insist that you make it. And make sure you subscribe to the show and rate the show. We have a friend. We have over 400 ratings now, which is just it's mind boggling. It's you guys boggle my mind on a regular basis. My mind is boggling. I'm in consistent state of boggled boggled boggled it boggling as one. Zack Zack Steltz on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:38:32 He introduced his boss to the show. So I'm sorry about getting you fired, but we do appreciate you spending the word. Thank you. Hit me. Oh, my God. I'm really I've been excited to read this question. Have you been excited the whole time? This question comes to us from. I think it's Seachel, S-E-A-C-H-E-L. Not a real name, but here we go.
Starting point is 00:38:59 What's the difference between anorexic and balsamic? I'm Justin McGroy. I'm Travis McGroy. I'm Griffin McGroy. This has been my brother, my brother and me kiss your dad square on the lips. You will never know me. Ohh. Abby.
Starting point is 00:39:30 Yeah, yeah, yeah. ierte. Ohh. Tilly юjd Yeah! you

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