My Brother, My Brother And Me - My Brother, My Brother and Me 20: Super Donuts

Episode Date: August 30, 2010

On this, the twentieth anniversary of our very first collective venture into the terrifying world of podcasting, we bring to you a show that's positively dripping with advice-juice. It's harmless, for the most part, but we wouldn't suggest letting it get on your clothing, or furniture, or your exposed skin. Suggested talking points: Nicknames, a sticky situation, checkerboard leg hair, Tony Toni Tone, the flannel algorithm, apple babies, Swimfan, double deuce

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? If you change your mind on the first in line, honey, I'm still free. Take a chance on me. If you need me, let me know. Gonna be around. If you've got no place to go when you're feeling down. If you're all alone, when a pretty bird is up low. One, two, three, and fuck it. It's the McElroy brothers.

Back for another MB&B AM. I feel like here on the advice show for the modern era, we can curse a lot more now that we have ball-ball telling people, watch out, cursing. Actually, I have ball-ball following me around all the time just to do that. Watch out, Travis is about to curse. This guy's about to say some shit. Oh, I'm sorry, I just did it. I just cursed, and then he has a guy that follows him around that says ball-ball is about to curse when he tells you Travis is about to curse. And hey, pretty soon, everybody's employed. You're welcome, Obama.

Hey guys, happy 20th anniversary of the very first show we did. Can you believe it? I cannot believe it. It seems like only 21 weeks ago. It was. It was. Sorry about that one. Hey, here on the advice show for the modern era, we take your questions and turn them into wisdom. It's Alchemy, and I'm gonna kick it off right now. I'm almost 30 years old, and I've never really had a nickname, says Formspring. I think Formspring's a pretty good nickname, but let's move on. I'm starting a new job soon, and I think this might be my last chance.

Should I just introduce myself as Highway or Hunter, or do you have any other suggestions? Highway Hunter? Yeah, I was gonna say Highway Hunter. Is that Highway to Heaven? I'm landing. Whatever it is, it has to be something that refers to either some sort of trait, some sort of physical trait, or some sort of physical item that you wear around. For instance, one year I went to church camp, and I had this new pair of shitty sunglasses, and I referred to myself exclusively as shades.

That's why whenever I walk into a room, I say, hi, my name's Cochring. Hi, I'm Skinny Jeans. Whatever it is, you gotta devote yourself to it. You can't waver. That's the thing about it. If you roll up in a church camp and you say, what's up, they call me shades, and then you go off that for a second, you'll never hear the end of it. Yeah, the trick is to pretend like this name has been given to you. I don't even remember my real name.

If it doesn't say shades on my birth certificate, I don't know. Exactly. I don't know. People have been calling me shades for so long that I don't really remember what my real name is, because it's gotta be like, back in school, and you gotta, oh, oh, oh, backstory. You gotta have like a convincing backstory for this name, and you don't have to be a good one. The important thing is that it's casual backstory, not like something you've thought about, but like, oh, yeah, no. They call me Funyuns. Why? I like Funyuns.

They call me red, because I like red. So better than that. I think what would be great, though, is if you picked another name as your nickname, if you're like, hi, my name's Travis, but people call me Ignacio. Like, just don't make it make sense, and I think that's the way to go. In reality, don't give yourself a nickname. Do not give yourself a nickname. You just gotta pretend, you don't give it to yourself. You pretend it was given to you by a group that these people will never, ever meet.

So not long ago, this is Leo from Gmail. Not long ago, a girl, I really liked, asked me out on a date. It went well, even to the point of her coming up with a whole bunch of ideas for follow-up dates. Okay, pre-planning, good. Thinking this meant she dug me, I decided to ask her to our high school prom. She said no, even though she didn't have another date, and even came and gloated to me when she did find one. Since then, she's ignored me completely.

This wouldn't be a problem, except we'll both be going to the same university, we'll be in the same faculty, and we'll both be living in res, starting in a couple, maybe in the residency halls, something like that. Yeah, I think so. Starting in a couple weeks. So, since I'll probably be seeing her somewhat regularly in the next while, how do I make things less awkward? Unfortunately, packing up and leaving isn't an option.

Damn it. Damn it. That's our A material. Thanks, keep up the good work, Leo. My real question is, Leo, what did you do? What did you do? Yeah, Leo. She was planning other dates.

How gnarly was that gas you ripped at the end where she was like, never again? This is the worst to toot in history. The toot heard around the world. The toot heard around the world. Leo, here's something for you to nosh on. Maybe, since you were the one that was wronged in this scenario, maybe you shouldn't be sweating how awkward it is. Maybe you, Leo, should be just riding that awkward wave.

Give her the pretend you don't know who she is. That'll go good. Oh, I like that. You like that? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's pretty good. Griffin, how do you make things less awkward with girls like this?

I shit you not, like, packing up and moving away is one of the few options. Otherwise, I mean, time's going to heal those wounds. And really, you're going to meet so many new people at university, as you say, that I really don't think it's not going to be a big deal, man. And that's the thing. I don't know what school you're going to, but most of them are big enough that you're not going to see her. Like, you might see her two times in the next year.

So, you know, don't worry about it. But if you do see her, just punch her right in the face. No, don't punch her in the face. Don't punch her in the face. Oh, my God. My fault. I get caught up sometimes. When are we going to get a new brother?

I am a single young gentleman who relies on the advice from others as a formative measure. When talking to people, I often find myself giving anecdote and metaphors too frequently. Even I will admit that most are pointless and or boring. Am I being rude or do I need to refine these skills? Please help, Simon. I don't see why I can't be both Simon, but maybe you are being rude. And yes, you need to get better at that. Travis, do you have any advice for him?

You can never use anecdotes and metaphors too frequently. In fact, you should only speak in metaphors. Okay. Well, that's probably maybe Travis wasn't the one I should have turned to for wisdom on this. To be fair, I don't know what a metaphor is. I can't remember if that's the one with like her eyes. You would probably be well to remember that there's nothing that says you have to speak in any given moment. Sometimes I'll mull over five to ten different things I could say in a given situation.

And then wait till I come up with a really good one and then say that. Because a lot of times if you talk and don't really think about it before you talk, you'll just, well, you'll be recording the show, but sometimes people will let you host a podcast, but it's not the best way to entertain. Try asking more questions. As far as being rude goes, Justin pretty much hit it on the head there, is the rudeness comes from taking up all of the space in the conversation.

Or in the room. If you're a real fatty, that's what it is too. I still don't understand how using metaphors in a conversation is rude. Maybe they're like overly long metaphors. Like today is like a day that... It's a simile. It's like a sun. See, okay, so metaphor is the one with as, right?

That would be like saying today is a sun. Today is a sun. Maybe his metaphor is you're a pussy. Maybe he's confused using metaphor with your mama jokes. Yeah. Are you not dropping enough of those? Because those are pretty important for social skills. In the end, you just need to focus and think about what you're saying before you say it.

Because if it's not something that you would like to hear, then chances are other people would like to hear it either. Also listen to a lot of... I'm going to write that down. Okay. Listen to a lot of stand-up comedy. Yeah. And steal it.

Yeah. Just cold house it. Yeah. And no one will be the wiser. Yeah. Who answers? Yeah. Who answers?

These are Moli. Moli asks. Oh, and this question was sent in by TJ Mad. Thank you, TJ Mad. Moli asks, how do you treat someone with an obsession with sticky buns? I'm sick of the questions and the buns are mounting. So is the mold. He won't talk about anything else.

You will see him on Yahoo. He's the one with an obsession with sticky buns. That was a fully formed sentence. That was my favorite episode of Hoarders. Did you guys see that one? I think it was subtitled A Sticky Situation. I really, I guess the only thing you can do is get them hooked on an even more delicious food, although you'd be hard pressed.

Super doughnuts. It's super doughnuts. Jesus. I'm obsessed with super doughnuts, but the fact that I'm not in elementary school keeps me from eating them for every meal. What's up with super doughnuts? Does anybody have any of those right now in this podcast? If you work at a school, a public institution, we will trade you wampum style super doughnuts

for t-shirts. Whoa. It's a new initiative. The super doughnuts for t-shirts initiative. Yeah. They're full of a lot of super doughnuts. They are so full of nutrients and full of flavor and they're always soggy. No matter what.

Except that last bit because they're microwaved and that last bit is always hard. Like some sort of donut scab. That's where the nutrients are. You've got to suck the nutrients out. Wait, wait, wait. Don't tell me you've been eating that. That's the rind. You keep the rind of the super doughnuts.

I didn't know. That's nature's handle. You're not supposed to eat that part of the super doughnut. That's disgusting. I loved, when I moved into my new house, the gas station right by sold super doughnuts and they were right between the bombs and the lottery tickets. There was just a big box of super doughnuts. That sounds like the coolest department of that gas station.

It is. So do you think there are people who went to school in places where there weren't super doughnuts that have literally no idea what we're talking about right now? We sound like mad people. Like just crazy people. Like people that don't know what breakfast pizza is? Just google it and you'll find out. But basically they're delicious.

Donuts with nutrients and a rind. I'm a guy and I'm thinking of shaving my legs. If so, how far up the leg should I shave? What are your thoughts on men shaving legs from form spring? Bitch, what do you think our thoughts are? I'll tell you how far up you should shave? Not. Not up.

Not to the ankle. To the ankle. Shave your foot. Just the top of your foot and your knuckles. Shave your foot Bilbo. I'm not. The answer is either not at all or all the way. Yeah.

I don't want any of this half ass shit. I want you to shave it. Your thigh outer calf. And just a lightning bolt. Like a hairy checkerboard. That's what I want. Carve your basketball jersey number into your inner thigh hair. Better yet, carve mine and we'll be going steady.

You shouldn't shave your leg. Don't shave your leg. Unless you're a swimmer. If you're a swimmer. If you're a professional swimmer or runner. I bet that Michael Phelps shaves his legs and he could beat the shit out of me. He's just all arms and sinew, isn't he?

Yeah. He's like some kind of pterodactyl. He's like a pterodactyl. He's like an antelope. He's like half antelope. What's up with that? Half antelope. Half pterodactyl.

Pterodactyl. Can you think of any other reason for shaving your legs other than I'm a professional athlete? Yeah. If you're a drag queen. If you're a what? If you're a drag queen. And what I've learned from RuPaul's DragU is that

almost all drag queens are helpful and wise. They're the wizards of the modern generation. They are the wizards. If you're starting a quest, don't even trip. Don't even hang out with that wizard. Just skip to a drag queen. They know everything. They've seen the queen from both sides and they like it.

They like what they saw. I met the most beautiful girl. This is from Andrew G-Mail. I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen last night and she's single. So I want to take a shot at her. Whoa. Whoa.

Easy there, DC Sniper. Let's chill out. The problem is I'm doing a semester-long program in DC. Oh, shit. Oh, God. Oh, there it. No. I'm leaving today.

Should I add her on Facebook and keep in touch while I'm in DC? Or just see what happens when I get back in December so I don't seem creepy by adding her after hanging out with her only once, Andrew from G-Mail. Don't add her on Facebook. Oh, add her. No one cares. You care.

I had people that I talked to once in high school that I do not remember, but apparently remember me. Facebook adding doesn't matter. Well, he can add her, but what's he going to keep in touch with to kind of keep that first time meeting energy alive? You know what I mean? Hey, remember that time at Sparrow? We had that three-minute-long conversation.

There were sparks. You remember the sparks? The Sparrow sparks. It's delicious. If you've already made that initial connection, if you've already talked to her and hung out a little bit, Facebook is a pretty good way to sort of stay in touch, stay in the loop.

You can follow what she's doing, but also, it can be a great tool for managing her love life until you return to be her special guy. So if she says on her status, met an interesting guy tonight, might go somewhere and you comment on that status. Well, let's not be too hasty. Let's really think about things.

How well do you know him? Have you seen the latest AIDS stats? Everyone's got it. They're pretty AIDS-y. So maybe you should just think about that. Oh, is it Rick? Who hasn't Rick been with? Rick.

Yeah, just add her on Facebook, because A, it doesn't matter. And B, if she is interested, then that's kind of a way of, you know, showing that you're interested. Kind of a sad way, but... Yeah, come on, Rick. It makes me wish that you thought I was cute

till you'd shoot me. Formspring asks, I'm a vim bam. I just dyed my hair fuchsia, and I am now thinking of the next color that I am going to do. I am a girl, so the pinks and purples are okay. What do you think would be a good color?

Thank you in advance, Tony. I think it's thank you in advance, comma Tony. Oh. Tony, you are always such a pretty girl. Tony, I remember brushing out your long brown hair and saying to everybody,

she looks just like a princess. She looks like a young Linda Carter, is what I used to tell people. I wish she would just dye it brown. Just dye it brown so you could be that girl we all remember, and come home.

We miss you, Tony. Tony, come home. We miss you. The big city does swallow you up. The city swallowed you up, Tony. Come back. I'm so down with fuchsia colored hair. I'm down with it, Tony.

I think it's great. I think next color, how about lime green? Whoa, I sure like that. You went out there. Why don't you dye it lime green? When people comment on it and say, you know, gotta get that money.

People be like, what? It's a reminder to get that money. Tony, are you all about getting that money? Because if so, I would say green. I would say Tony with an eye, all about that money. She's gotta get that cheddar, right? Is she one of the Tonys like Tony Tony Tony

because then it's all about them? Did you ask Tony and Tony what colors they're going with? There's nothing worse than showing up to people and Tony. That was Belle Biv DeVoe. That was... Oh snap.

You edit this out? I'm actually going to forward it to Belle and Biv. But not DeVoe. Fuck him. DeVoe died. This comes from... This next question says,

no one remembers that I recorded poison. DeVoe. So sad. So sad. I feel like the momentum is completely off now. You know what will pick it back up? What?

This question was sent in by Christopher. Yahoo Answers user, DK. I always screw that up. What did Tony Tony Tony do? Tony Tony Tony? I honest to God, I couldn't tell you. Griffin, you read the question, I'll do a little eagling. Hello.

Here we go. DK asks, how should I wear a flannel shirt without looking bad? Now, listen. There's a matrix of options here. We need to come up with an algorithm

using these these metrics that DK has provided. Options. White v-neck, black wife beater, white wife beater, black shirt. How many buttons undone? 0, 1, 2, 3, etc.

Bonus. What type of jeans? Add or deduct things. I am a guy. I am skinny. I have short hair. First off, I want to say how much I appreciate him

going through the different numbers of buttons. Because sometimes I get hitched between 2 and 4 at once. It is a red-black plaid flannel shirt. He has one shirt that he is dying to wear. But he's just eyeballing it from across the room

trying to figure it out. He gots to wear it the right way. I want to wear this shirt. I have one flannel shirt that grants me wishes. And I have to wear it. DK, hold onto your asshole. White v-neck. All buttons undone.

Wrapped around your waist. Torn faded light blue jeans. I love it. That's the Joey Lawrence is what I call that look. You just blew my fashion mind. Turn it into a flannel kilt.

That's what I'm saying. But not a utility kilt. I'll leap through the internet. I'll fucking strangle you. Justin, I believe you were looking for House Party 2 from the House Party 2 soundtrack. I was looking for it.

The House Party 2 soundtrack had a song on it by Tony Tony Tony called House Party 2. You think, okay, I can't tear down anybody's knowledge of Tony Tony Tony. But you think the House Party 2 was maybe their big song?

It reached number 19 on the US R&B tracks. You guys remember when Will Smith did that track on the Independence Day soundtrack called Independence Day? That reached number 19 on the hip hop and soul charts. Welcome to Earth.

Welcome to Earth. Welcome to Earth. Can we get back to the imperative subject in hand? I like... Can you just read the last couple sentences again just apart with the whole thing? Add or deduct things.

I am a guy. I am skinny. I have short hair. It sounds so defensive. It sounds like a math problem. If one douchebag is traveling at 50 miles an hour to Hollister to get a goofy looking

red and black flannel shirt, how many buttons should he button up? Add or deduct the fact that he is skinny and has short hair. Why do you feel the need to wear this shirt? It sounds like he's causing you a lot of consternation. Maybe just

throw it. I think the better question is how many failed attempts has he had at wearing this shirt? He just comes home dejected and strips it off and goes, today wasn't my day. I can't do the internet. Close but no cigar. Do you think he's sitting in his room with

three blackboards surrounding him? He's just madly doing the rhythm. You have to come out and eat. No undershirt. No undershirt. One button undone. Blue jeans. Honey, we're supposed to be married today.

Why are you saying these things? Just say I do. No jeans. Short hair. I'm a guy. I am skinny. You want to name your child. The name you want me to throw in the birth certificate is one button. Black crew neck.

I am skinny. I am a guy. Fanny pack? For one week. All that's written on the board and just dry letters. Fanny pack was a big question. It's been 30 years and I've never even considered fanny packs. Fanny pack.

As he slowly chews on the end of his glasses and then just erases the board and cries, he finally he finally finally solves it. In celebration, he tips over his blackboard and tears the shirt

now. I'll meet you, you flannel bitch. Rod Serling's like, what's up Twilight Zone? Deal with it. We're out of ideas. And I'm dead. Form Spring asks, Dear ma bim bam, what's the best way to meet

nerdy single women, science nerds, video game nerds, animation nerds, movie nerds, whatever. BTW, I mean non-lesbians. Overstocked on them, thank you. Regards, single player. Ooh, I like that. Can everyone start whenever they ask questions? Can they

give either little nicknames like that that are appropriate to the question that they're asking or like for Lauren and Frankfurt or something like that? Yeah, I like that. Yeah. Griffin, you should know this.

Oh, should I? Yeah, I do really well at this actually. Do you? No. They, for the most part don't exist. They are cryptozoological in nature.

Right. They're often seen writing unicorns and such. Yeah, I mean the best thing you can do is just bounce from from from GameStop to GameStop just looking for a cute cashier.

With a net. With a net, yeah. You have to put her in a net, whatever. No, don't put anyone in a net. I really don't know what to tell you. Facebook's pretty cool. The internet's all right. You can meet lots of people in that.

Why don't you go to PAX? Yeah, go to PAX. Go to some sort of convention. But I I don't know. You're not looking to meet dudes. You put an attractive girl at a video game or nerdy convention. It's just like

chum for nerd sharks. I just also I don't think you should be I don't think anyone should use that as a metric for people that you are looking for. I don't think anyone should ever be like I need to find a partner.

How about someone who's nerdy? I don't think anyone like that shouldn't be. There's so many other qualities that are more important than that when looking for another person. That's a great point because if I had asked this question 10 years ago I mean this is probably the sort of thing that I would

be looking for, right? Somebody who has similar interest to me but now that I'm older my wife and I don't we don't have any interests that are similar. We like really disparate things but we get along probably a little bit better

because of that. Because we have different spheres of interest. And the important thing is her nerdiness about certain things is something that you find out. It's not like you're going to look at her across the room and be like my god there's a huge video game nerd. You can know someone and

find out what their interests are. Anybody who makes it that obvious it's probably an affectation. Which is not something you want to be attracted to. And they're probably dressed like a final fantasy character and you don't want to talk to them anyway. This is a question that Griffin's going to be knocking out of the park so I'm just going to ask it.

I'm a member of my high school cross country team which means I have an hour of jogging a day or more. Oh you show off. The problem is as I get it okay we all get it. The problem is it's a sensible trend of rock and any music fan. TMBG and Suff-Jan Stevens wrong

quite this pumping jams. Sufi? Sufi? Suff-Jan? Okay let me try again. TMBG and Suff-Jan Stevens are not kind of fist pumping. Hi I'm 29 years old okay.

You're lucky I can turn my computer on you slut so shut up. Do you guys have any suggestions for music that would get me pumped up for jogging long distances? Russ Gmail. Here how about this. Yeah turn us up.

Running. Running. Next foot. Swing your hips. The answer of course is Neil Diamond. Cranked up. Yeah maybe. I listen to a lot of podcasts whenever I'm doing

my walk around the neighborhood not my jog maybe that maybe that's missing something. Maybe you should stop maybe you should quit the cross country running team and join like the cross country walking team and then listen to podcasts. Cross block, cross neighborhood walking

people. Other than that man just you know find something with a fast beat maybe a Daft Punk maybe an LCD sound system something to just you know get the blood pumping. Get that fix up look sharp. Fix up look sharp yeah anything off the DJ hero soundtrack. Yeah anything off the

get the DJ hero soundtrack that's good and you know what maybe you're not listening to the right they might be giant songs because there's some of those that are upbeat and get you pumped. Can I recommend the House Party 2 soundtrack? What was that one song on there? You're talking about House Party 2.

I have a real problem with listening to music whenever I'm running because I don't have one of those sleek little like iPod baby iPods that you slide into your arm into your cyborg arm

that just kind of like stays there like I always cyborg no cyborg I have like a big zoom I have like a big 30 google by zoom that anytime I run it just jangles around in my pocket and makes me makes me look so.

Are you running a lot more than I knew about or is this a big problem for you? There's a lot of people chasing Griffin in his new neighborhood. I've been doing a bit of exercise yes. Is that okay? I mean I don't want it most certainly is growing. No you should

grow. Like I want you to grow as a person. I feel I am. But it's important that you don't surpass us. Like you can catch up to me and then you gotta stop. That shouldn't be too hard. I am 27 and my husband is 28. We are coming up on 30

and I'm wondering if there is something that we should do before we hit 30. We don't have kids so we don't have to worry about that and we don't want kids so please don't say have children. We live in upstate New York and have a bit of money saved up. Any suggestions? Tony.

Also with an eye. Wait a minute. Tony is getting a 2 for this week. Congratulations Tony. You're lucky Travis is negligent. No it's a completely different Tony. Oh okay sure. This is Tony Collette.

I think you should act. Just act as much as you can as Collette. You're a real talent. You're a treasure. Hollywood treasure Tony Collette. Hmm. Okay I have a few suggestions. You could uh... You want to cross country

amusement park trip? Rocky Mountain Clod? You gotta stop. How about buy an apple orchard? Whoa. You gotta buy something right? When you turn 30

you have to buy something as a gift to yourself for not dying for 30 years. Apple orchard in upstate New York would be a real treat. Get some farm hands. When you see people doing weird things in their 60s they had to have a moment earlier

where like they decided to do that. And this has to be your moment where like how did you guys get an apple orchard? It turned 30. We didn't want to have kids. These apples are our kids. Please stop eating my baby. David!

He wasn't even ripe yet you bastard. Your baby's really mealy. Do you want another slice of bread pie? We made it this morning. It's full of bread. Our baby. So what we're saying to you is you should have an apple orchard

and you should make apples your babies. And sharpie on faces on every single one. I mean sharpie faces. It doesn't have to be an apple orchard but it has to be something big and irresponsible. It has to be some kind of orchard. Yeah but make sure it has to be something you have no idea what you're trying to take care of.

It has to be like in three. Oh shit. All our alpacas are dead. These alpacas are dead as fuck. We did not think about this before we did it. I like that. Do that one.

My best friend lives about 1.5 hours away. That's 90 minutes. And every time she comes into town we have hands that we hang out all the time. Now I would love to but I have a life aside from her. A job and sometimes

I'm just tired at the end of the day. And not in the social mind to hang out. I tell her and she keeps demanding what should I say to her or am I just not appreciating our friendship as much as her? Hey do you guys remember that question? I think it was like last week or the week before that where someone talked about how they

went in town to hang out with their best friend but they didn't want to hang out with them? I think we've actually received this question a couple times and thank you for listening when I said to send it again because I forget all the past questions. I don't know

if they're related but if so apologies. I think you just got to bite the bullet. If I have a friend in town I'll hang out with them even if I'm not even particularly close friends with them or don't want to hang out. But the friend is an hour and a half away.

It's not like she moved to Nebraska and she probably sees her once a week. You know what I mean? It's not that epic a deal that she's in town. I love how you think Nebraska isn't close to anything. Nebraska is universally far away from every

point on the globe. I meant to say Alaska and it came out as Nebraska. Regardless, earlier I meant to say Bill Booth DeVoe and it came out as Tony Tony Tony. That's my fault. I meant to say

House Party 2 and it came out as poison. Yeah, just drop her. If you don't want to hang out with her then that means that you don't want to hang out with her. And there is a quick solution to that problem.

That means it's not being a friend anymore. You could come up with creative I can't. I have the flu or crabs or something but you could keep coming up with those lies but eventually you're going to get sick of that too

and just straight up be like listen I don't want to hang out every time you come in town. I have other things to do. If that bothers you I am sorry. Because really what are you out? If she gets really mad and doesn't talk to you for like two months what are you missing there? I mean she could go

swim fan on her ass. Oh shit. She could start leaving animals in her front seat of her car. Like it's a thorny situation which is why I almost always

tell people to pack up and just get. The thing is you can't leave her boarding in Nebraska. Swim fans will track you down. They're going to get swim fans. Tell her you're moving away. Tell her you're moving to Nebraska and you will come visit her

when you can. The only thing you can do is retaliate. Don't even move away. Just go and visit her every other day and just be a big useless lump whenever you're hanging out. Just don't talk to her. Just say I like your presence.

Or go up there and have her decline you and just be lonely all day and see how she's living. Because then the shoe will be on the other proverbial foot. Deal with that. I have a yahoo answers question. It's from Dave One.

But it was sent in by TJ Madd. This is my second TJ Madd question of the show. He's a real hero. Thank you TJ Madd. Dave One asks and to really appreciate the comedy of this question you have to understand that it's in all caps.

He asks why do we scream? Or shout loudly when frightened or excited. For example, when on a fast ride or something makes yo jump. What's the purpose of making a loud noise? I mean it's

really dumb and poorly worded but he's kind of point. What are we doing that we're wasting our throat meat all these years on screaming for no reason? Next time you go to King's Island and you're on the vortex just losing your mind just

give it one of those. Stop. You're so fast. I used to I got into a kick and I think probably everybody gets through this phase. When I would go on roller coasters and you know that they take your picture

with everybody screaming I thought you know what I'll do I'll just look super cool and then everybody screaming I'll be like what's up I found that like maybe it's because of the gravity or because of like the internal terror

and it always look like seven people having the time of their life one guy trying not to poop the picture always look like I'm just gonna do the screaming thing and maybe that's why it's either scream or look in the picture like you're trying not to poop.

I always give two middle fingers up give two middle fingers because it lets people know how edgy I am and that fucking Kings Island attendant whose job is to sit and look at pictures of people having fun all day like worst job ever

he sees someone giving the double deuce and he's like watch him I keep an eye on him and that picture loads up a knowing smile what I do is I flash my boobies and it's because I'm whimsical because I'm fun

I'm also a little bit sexy you know what I mean she's a little crazy a little wild I wanna hear Griffin's last question but before I do we have a couple of quick housekeeping things just reminders basically

first off as always thank you thank you you're telling people about the show you're tweeting about the show we love to see that gotta give a shout out to our man, Nick Sutner he's in Sutner on Twitter

if you wanna follow him but he promotes the show every single week tells people hey there's a new one of these out you should go listen to it ditto for Xander Davis live he's another one that was talking about the program

also Charlene519 on Twitter is passing out to her friend you know another people about it pay it forward pay forward I would also like to thank Kate Nash

on our facebook appreciation group she posted a picture of her holding the postcard that she's sending to Tristan thank you so much for that Kate that's so sweet everyone the address for Tristan's on the facebook group so if you wanna send him he's our favorite marine

we've seen gotten a couple last week he seems to be doing pretty good and oh thanks to bought t-shirts too oh yeah those should be going out from what we've heard all the pre-order shirts

are out and about in the world do you wanna hear a confession I just ordered my shirt today you piece of shit I assumed they would send me one my name is on it I bought mine I bought both of mine

so if you wanna be like Travis and buy a shirt you can go to mbmbam.com there's a link to two shirts if you pre-order the shirt is in the mail and other orders are being processed as they come

I'm seeing a lot of people putting up pics of them wearing the shirt I think we're gonna collect all those put them somewhere either on the side or on the t-shirt side what's the best way to email us what you should do is just put them on facebook

and then link them in the facebook group which we have and I don't think we've talked about in a while but we have a facebook group it's my brother and me appreciation group you gotta search for the whole thing put your pictures on there and then we'll grab them from there

and also it helps spread the word people are like hey what's that really fresh all about if you don't use fb you can tweet it just always use the mbmbam hashtag just hop on Friendster no don't do that get on the space

oh god or email it if you don't use any of that or fax it we don't fax and that's all the housekeeping stuff review us on itune, subscribe and if you wanna send in a question all the methods are on our website

mbmbam.com which is about to get a facelift oh yeah we're working in the works lots of big things stay on board making a mistake it's all because of you

because of me? no not you if anything you're hindering the process no t-shirt buying I bought one today here we go my brother griffin my real brother griffin I make the distinction

because he bought a t-shirt oh and uh I'm gonna be at pax this week I mentioned it earlier I'm gonna be at pax this week Friday Saturday Sunday if you are there and you have a my brother in my brother in me t-shirt wear it

if you see somebody wearing my brother in my brother in me t-shirt hug them because they've earned it unlike some people in this show namely Travis I found this question on Yahoo Answers Malaysia what's up shabana

on Yahoo Answers Malaysia asks also in all caps by the way how can you make your own dildo at home? oh god I'm just a macaroy I'm griffin macaroy and this has been my brother my brother in me kiss your dad

square on the lips you will never know me