My Brother, My Brother And Me - My Brother, My Brother and Me 23: Dad Stew

Episode Date: September 27, 2010

If you're not listening to this new episode at an official, licensed, ordained MBMBaM listening party, then we're not sure you're getting the full listening experience. Advice podcasts are like tandem... bikes -- they don't really work unless two or more people sit on them. We don't know what we're saying anymore. Suggested talking points: Wolfwhistles, That full-on Sisqo heat, foreverbaby, Now That's What I Call Music, Eye-spiders, balls and everything, guywriting, monkey stomach, maneater

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? If you change your mind, on the first in line, honey, I'm still free, take a chance on me. If you need me, let me know, gonna be around. If you've got no place to go when you're feeling down.
Starting point is 00:00:39 If you're all alone, when a pretty person comes on me. Take a chance on me. If you need me, let me know. This is the number one source for both Rastafarian advice and regular advice. It's my brother, my brother, and me. Does it really have to split up two different kinds of advice? You're right. Most Rastafarian advice can be applied to regular people.
Starting point is 00:01:13 How how many questions the answer to is no woman. No cry. It's true or just job We've a job on And I don't think that I think there's so much maybe in jam-making. Yeah Guys, do we look like we know about preservatives and shit that is so so not our area of expertise Yeah, we don't know anything about my marmalade you want bring that marmalade heat you're gonna find some willing participants right here But as far as like just straight preserves no fruit preserves pickling brining picking German Yeah, yeah, it is like apple butter. What's up? This is an advice show as you've probably already deduced This is an advice show for the modern era
Starting point is 00:02:04 So we're just going to oh my name is Justin McElroy, by the way, I'm Travis McElroy BT. Dubs I'm Griffin McElroy But what? It's a it's just even shorter than BT. Dubs. It's it's new still a new school You guys ready for a question you guys ready to help some people out Can we talk about something real quick? Please do I Don't know why I just wanted to wrap I feel like there are events that are happening Regarding the show that we should discuss. Oh
Starting point is 00:02:36 Oh, oh, oh, yeah, I was gonna wait till the end To talk about that, but we were I mean, let's just thank everyone up. Oh, thank you It's been cool for us in a in a I think it's vote jet.com or some something. Yeah prestigious. They're basically like I like the Oscars. It's like a Gallup poll. It's a very official Gallagher like a Gallagher poll It's like a basically like a Gallagher like a sludge a manic Anyway, they're doing this contest for the top comedy podcast and we're currently in third place because people have been voting for us off The chains and we feel so much for doing that. We're in third 11th and 14th. I believe yeah We're in a lot of places because they're they're polling system
Starting point is 00:03:18 It needs some work. It does need some work. They need to put our all our votes together But we certainly appreciate your your efforts there and your support as always it means a lot to us You have no idea how good it does our heart. We're gonna show you though By making you smarter and probably safer with our advice. So here we go Say you're walking and you see an attractive lady as her farm spring. You know with sexy hypothetical so far It's good start. Yeah, sexy start. You want to appreciate her attractive features But you also don't want to come across like some creepy construction worker. What's etiquette? Admire from afar while making eye contact as you pass help form spring. You have to make some
Starting point is 00:04:07 Audible noise some audible noise has to come into the equation I don't know if it has to be a fully formed sentence or what but but you do have to she's not gonna get it Just with a sideways glance. You gotta give her but she is gonna get it. Oh, you know, what's up? You gotta give her hey and a joking aside. Don't do anything. It's the 21st century. Are you kidding me? Give her a oh Like no mouse siren. Just be wee. Wee You you're a human being you're a human male So you you take a look at her as she is approaching you you decide instantly whether or not she would be a suitable Sexual partner and then you keep that decision to yourself. You walk home and you watch some TV
Starting point is 00:04:52 Yeah, that's your day. Okay. That's your afternoon. It's not gonna be like hey lady. I like your games I like your getaway sticks nice. Oh lady. Hey nice pins, baby You Lou you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't Give her a give her a good work there Nice work. You've done there. Just look at her and just say Nice That's a handsome package you've put together there. I'm done with all this Don't do any of that just shake what your mama gave you but say as you're walking away and go to full-spread
Starting point is 00:05:30 Just just look at her and say I'm sorry You don't realize what an inconvenience that is for for that woman They've you've called out on the street I know you're trying even if you did this with like the most chaste intentions It's it's still like it's probably gonna be creepy first unless the form spring Unless you are Immensely attractive if you're immensely attractive you say whatever you want, okay? You can do whatever you want if you're immensely attractive you physically attractive you can lean out of your Mustang and say
Starting point is 00:06:03 I'll never appreciate you and she'll hop on in yeah I'm sort of like your dad. Let's go I'll ignore you most of the time Here's here. Okay. I would suggest a warm smile Yeah, so what a warm smile if they are creeped out by a warm smile They're the creep because you were just smiling but it also says like hi We made eye contact a warm smile and maybe you'll see something in there So I'm sort of like that spark if she's the one she'll know it sound my sparks make to
Starting point is 00:06:35 Like you're like you're a transformer, but you've got You have gots to practice that warm spot I'm as if you practice it if you give her like a creepy like Cheshire cat like Snaggled plus smile you're probably if you look in the mirror right now You're probably working with something positively reptilian You can't pull it off try doffing your cap and saying ma'am Yes, I like it. Don't do that. Don't I cannot I can't get behind the What if you do it in like a fun accent?
Starting point is 00:07:10 There's no excuse madam Without a fun accent. I fucking hate those dudes Hello I'm see a shag Vacation You're gone If you're if you're what I do not believe that there's a good way To to pick up someone as you're walking in an opposite direction from them if you're if you hang a u-turn and just follow them
Starting point is 00:07:41 Yeah, exactly give them the give them a flat tire step on their heel and make their shoe come off Awkward Three feet behind them and say things like where you headed? Where are you going? We had it. We had I'm right here I'll just be with you for a while. I'm with the FBI So I feel like we've helped him enough Is it ever acceptable to go to a bar alone? I don't have a lot of friend who are over 21 and I really can't have them over at my apartment for parties This is the guy from last week who just wanted to go to bars and he lost those friends
Starting point is 00:08:16 Now he wants to know if he can go to bar by himself. No, I would say that that it It is a unless you are again Just really overwhelmingly physically attractive and can almost be guaranteed to go home with a sexual partner that evening Or at least I can get a phone number or something or make a new friend. Yeah, I would say it's there To go to a bar then Yeah, here's the thing like I thought about this question a lot and the answer is yes
Starting point is 00:08:50 It is acceptable to go to a bar alone It depends on what kind of bar you're going to you're going to like a sports bar and like, you know You're gonna be hanging out with a bunch of you know people that you can like have discussions with about what's going on in the game Or whatever and like form new friendships and talk to people Yeah, it's a great place to meet new people and make friends if you're going to like a bar to sit in a Table in the corner by yourself and drink like 20 beers. No, that's that's not okay I actually I went to a bar alone last night. I Just because I didn't really do much of anything this week as far as like leaving the house
Starting point is 00:09:28 So and I work from home. So sometimes I have to make myself go out even if I you know I don't think I've ever met anyone at a bar really But but you know, it's nice to just get out of the house and be surrounded by other people and you know Have a drink and watch the the wrap-up of the day's baseball contests The good the good thing about going to a bar alone is that you can you can really feel free Especially if you're like looking to mix up your situation IE meeting new people trying new things whatever. There's no if you don't go to anybody, you know There's no real expectation to quote-unquote be yourself
Starting point is 00:10:04 Yeah, you can sort of try different things and be whatever kind of person you want to and and no one's gonna call you out I'm a foppish British affection Well, you could be you know, I in my circle of friends I'm that guy who knows nothing about sports But like I could go to a sports bar and be that guy who's really into football and no one around me is gonna go You don't know anything about football Right, just don't but when you you start shouting
Starting point is 00:10:30 Asking when the Orioles are playing they're probably you're probably gonna get some not so good I think the best thing to do if you're going to a bar by yourself is to think of it as like becoming a regular in a bar There's a bar in Huntington called Hanks, which is a great place to do that like the same 20 people are there every day And it's a place where you know the few times I've gone there I know the people there now. So a bar like that great Don't go to like a club by yourself because then you're creepy, but you know go into like a hangout No, I think it's okay to go to a club Especially if it's like a dance zone you think like you want to be able to like get out there and just shake it like you
Starting point is 00:11:09 Want to be able to with every song that comes on no matter how bad it is be able to throw your hands up with Wilder band and say That's my jam. You're saying like go to a bar alone leave the bar alone Say and feel the rain on your skin and just for once just get out there, you know This is where your book begins This is still unwritten. In fact, if you're wondering about your book and where to kick it off It's here feel the rain on your skin. This is that are the answer to our second question. Hey Yeah, good pace for this one good answers this Yahoo answer was sent in by wax catharsis Thank you. Ask with horses. He's becoming a platinum
Starting point is 00:11:51 Submitter of funny Yahoo. He gets access to the lounge It's from y'all who answers user know it all who asks Who sings better Justin Bieber or Cisco the thong song what? That's all part of the question He wouldn't he hook us up with a Bieber a Bieber title He goes on to explain the thong song was the biggest single since Billy Jean Michael Jackson. Do you think that Justin can top that? So he's coming from the Cisco side like he's defending Cisco here He has got that full-on Cisco heat and this goes the greatest artist that has lived since Michael Jackson
Starting point is 00:12:32 I'm pretty sure he had the number one single one of his friends at Bieber's the greatest musical artist of our generation He said excuse me What about Cisco and he was laughed down and he turned to his only friend the internet to prove him right? Good old Yahoo answers is always there for you that Cisco knowledge. So where do you guys stand? What are you so be absurd be absurd Cisco Bieber has Has so much to go through in his life. See that Cisco has already gone through So you're saying Cisco's got the experience or do you say that Bieber can can still has so much in front of him that he can be shaped and Formed by his experiences so to a sum that is greater than Cisco
Starting point is 00:13:10 I think what needs to happen is a musical apprenticeship of Justin Bieber to Cisco Oh my god a reform drew hill with Cisco Justin Bieber Ellen DeGeneres from Hansen the little the kid from Hansen the littlest one the baby the one that's like three or four Still forever forever baby super group forever baby is another good name Call them the traveling will berries too They would never collaborate on a single musical project they would only do Versions of their own Composite songs like they would sing thong song they would sing
Starting point is 00:13:51 Baby, which is let's say the other cities would be tantamount to listening to it now. That's what I call music 1994 like that's that's the experience. How many of those did you guys own? Be honest zero Zero I own three What yeah, I own three of them the first one was an ironic present from Justin men's group But how many times did you listen to that? I know a lot of times a lot of times? There's a really good fastball cut on that one Was it um was it perchance the way
Starting point is 00:14:27 Hey Hey, ma bambam I recently started dating this guy and he's really awesome and everything But I don't think he changes his sheets often. How can I encourage him to tidy things up a bit? Oh? This is a great question because this is one of those weird like I find that a lot of people have made that jump from adulthood For or from childhood to adulthood and not picked up on the fact that you got to change your sheets I had no idea how I was had no clue. Can it I'm not gonna say how often I change my sheets, but how often is regular You're supposed to do it twice a month twice a month Realistically people are doing it once a month. Let's be honest. What if you don't sleep on your sheets?
Starting point is 00:15:09 What if you sleep on top of a comforter then you're some kind of caveman you're a caveman You're sleeping. I don't want to bother with changing your sheets You sleep on top of a comforter and then use a quilt hanging upside down in your closet Do I have to change my comforter if that's if it is it whatever layer you sleep on top of because that's whatever you put your dirty skin on you This is why you have bed bugs. This is why America has bed bugs That's just come from your body, but you don't get your body isn't dirty and then bed bugs come out of it Bed bugs live in your eyes. Everybody knows that. Okay, don't joke around about that cuz they don't have Justin once convinced me that there were tiny spiders that lived in my eyes
Starting point is 00:15:51 And that's what made like the sleep crust when you wake up. Oh my eyes Awesome, and you love spiders, too. It's the best thing the okay, so Does it here's here's the way to do it, okay? You got to just change those sheets. I'm sorry. I you've got to change your sheets But it's not her choice. It's her it's her boyfriend. Think about what a nice thing that'll seem like Hey, I just noticed your sheets were looking a little ratty
Starting point is 00:16:19 Like maybe it had been a few weeks since you changed them and then he'll it'll head his head. He'll think oh Shit, it's been a few months and he'll be thankful to you for not rubbing it in his face But like pretty much every other option you have is gonna be super passive-aggressive What you're gonna have to think about is maybe he doesn't have another set of sheets does he buy him new She buy him new sheets be like hey I was at Walmart and I thought these sheets really matched your curtains or something and here you go and then give him the option Hey, I got it. I got a suggestion for you form spring. How about you just started dating this guy and you're already Intimately familiar with his sheets. Maybe you need to figure out what you can get right with Jesus think about that
Starting point is 00:17:06 Think about it Nobody's gonna milk the cow if they buy it at the store for free Think about it. It's what my Grammy always says what granny said to me at least she was she was really bad at idioms They used to they used to call it the idiom dummy, which to me was a missed opportunity, but Um, somebody laughed at that out there. Trust me. Oh, I'm a situation that is oh That has been long been debated amongst my friends. Is it wrong to take Nick? Can we skip? Go wrong. Okay. Is it wrong to take a naked jacuzzi with your dad and other men in a men's locker room after a hard workout?
Starting point is 00:17:52 No one no one checks it there. It's there. There's an okay before you start leaping to conclusions No one checks anyone out But it seems silly to me to dirty a new swimsuit after working out Especially since it's a five minute jacuzzi before a sauna I mean Even if I wore a swimsuit You are naked under it anyway. No, no, no. Okay. Let me be devil's advocate. Let me be devil's advocate for jeff real quick um
Starting point is 00:18:19 If you Do not wear a swimsuit you get a jacuzzi naked with your dad and other friends The the components of that stew that you're you're you're broiling there is dicks and water Okay, can we agree? That is a dick a hot dick and water stew that you are brewing up Um, if you wear a swimming trunks Then the components to that stew are swimming trunks Water and dicks still so if no one's checking anyone out You're just adding some some cloth and some mesh
Starting point is 00:18:57 To to the dick jambalaya that you're you're creating there Okay, but let me counterpoint that by saying that same logic can be applied to any situation in which clothes are worn You know, like if we're naked under our clothes anyways, why don't we all just go to school naked? Yeah, that's not a good that's not a good excuse But but it's different because he we wear clothes in normal life so that nobody can can see our dicks When you're in a jacuzzi, it's not about the site. It's about the it's about the it's about no, it's about the it's about the water Convection, right? It's all about convection science Explain to me this jeff now. I'm I'm not you jeff. I've not lived a walked mile in your shoes
Starting point is 00:19:40 Uh, but maybe you can explain this to me if I'm walking Through my gymnasium and I'm walking to the sauna and along the path to said sauna I see my dad and a bunch of old men Naked in a tub and my dad's like hey jeff. Do you want to get in this tub with all of us? We're naked and our balls are out and everything Do you want to do you want to get into this tub? Jeff our balls and everything Don't even kid yourself everything's out jeff. I have changed my answer any scenario that um
Starting point is 00:20:17 You can enter into that may Possibly even if it's like a zero point zero zero one percent chance of touching dicks with your dad Is a scenario that's worth avoiding like what if there's an earthquake jeff? Oh, no get out. No, I'm going that way Coming this way. Oh, no. I gotta get and I gotta go to the bullet store and kill myself I Jeff you can't take what okay? Why did we even entertain this possibility jeff? You can't take naked baths with your dad Can't sell phone call any someone's like what are you doing jeff? You're like, I'm just taking naked bath my daddy and some of his old friends and their balls are out of stuff
Starting point is 00:20:55 That's great. Let me give you a formula. All right You plus naked dad taking naked bath not okay. Why does adding like eight other naked dudes make it better? That does not make the situation better Is my parka too much? No, it's not enough jeff. It's never enough You're taking a naked bath with your dads and all his old friends I'm gonna go out on a limb and say if you were in eight separate jacuzzis, but only naked and looking at each other It's not any better. Yeah, it's not any better. It may be worse What's the maximum distance that you have to keep?
Starting point is 00:21:30 Your naked genitalia away from from your dad's three states or one layer of cloth So unless that causes chunks now one addendum I think this scenario is okay If you're Greek if you're like super greek and not like you have a little bit of greek yeah in you But I'm talking like heavy greek. No heavy greek. Then it's been it's complete if you're going heavy greek You're okay to take a naked bath. Yeah, that's just science um I've started dating an awesome girl. Oh rub it in guy. Yeah, real nice guy Who didn't think the sign is email?
Starting point is 00:22:03 Oh, oh, no, no, no, okay. It's two lines. Thanks champ. No problem. I've started dating an awesome girl I found out she likes to watch hilariously bad movies. This is one of my favorite pastimes. So I'm pretty excited What terrible films would you recommend for a fun date? Can anything be both horrible and romantic? OJ, okay Griffin is going to suggest a film to you that I am going to immediately poo poo and I will tell you why Griffin go ahead I'm it's the room. Okay, but it's not the room Think about this for a second. Okay, you just started dating a girl
Starting point is 00:22:35 You're like, hey, I have had this hilariously bad movie and at first it will go great It will go really great for like the first 15 seconds for like the no like no for the first 15 Well, yeah, yeah, basically for like the first three minutes There's like a lot of Sex scenes and like really gross sexy like uncomfortable non sexy sex scenes like the yeah grossest It's really gross. I think he's got to get to know her a little better I disagree. I mean, I think it depends on what age you are I think if jay's in high school, then maybe not because that's something that that high schoolers high schoolers aren't ready to see
Starting point is 00:23:07 Tommy Wiseau's horrible glistening like swamp thing body thrusting up and down on top of Lisa or whatever that actress's name is um That's that is a nightmare. Um, but I think once you're old enough you can see the the humor I'm gonna throw a hung pal Into the fist See, but that's not a that's not a terrible movie, but you like that movie. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying
Starting point is 00:23:33 But it's like I mean, it's it's funny, but like it's it's pretty bad. You feel bad for liking it. Um I'd like to recommend two films that you should check out uh after last season Oh, man It is really brutal and birdemic if you can find birdemic see on the birdemic front get on that netflix instant q And just start searching for sci-fi original sci-fi original holy shit killer Mega shark versus versus giant octopus, but giant. Yeah, that's a good one. Uh, that one's good How about how about mega fault which was britney murphy's last uh cinematic onus? Oh my god Not only does she look like she's already dead in that movie
Starting point is 00:24:13 It is oh come on. Uh, it's it's about a giant earthquake that can kill people Even if they're in helicopters and this guy Okay, it's a it's apparently yeah, so it's a good choice in there jay. I jay. I say wait a couple months on the room But Justin was what is it that dwight always makes people watch on bad movie night? What is that movie with y'all? Oh, no, no real men. That's a fine film. No watch that. It's awesome. Yeah, it's a really good movie Uh, but god, it's just rub it in griffin's face day. I'm in a seven year strong relationship with the one What are some good romantic ideas for showing her how much I appreciate her the stand-by is a nice home cooked meal with candles Anything that comes to mind form spring if you're making your wife a
Starting point is 00:24:59 Candle at dinner you are ahead of the curve and can I just say he doesn't say wife So if that's not the case, how about putting a ring on it? Yeah, that would be a pretty nice I think that's why that ring on that was invented Yeah, you know what you could do? Uh, get the ring and then keep focusing on the dinner thing So that way if you ever burn dinner you have a backup plan Sorry about the roast, but do you want to spend the rest of your life with me? And do I have to eat your gross burnt roast? No, so no No, you eat how as much roast as you want. That's what marriage is
Starting point is 00:25:33 Eating as much roast as you want I think you got a just Surpriser I think that is the the best way surprise thoughtful surprise a thoughtful sky writing sky writing or Guy writing is guy writing Let's have a guy have naked men spill it out in your lawn in a great in a jacuzzi They're fresh freshly jacuzzi. Hey by the way retroactively Jeff jacuzzi's not a verb stop it
Starting point is 00:26:01 We took the jacuzzi together. We took a jacuzzi. No, you didn't Now you didn't jacuzzi. You took a stick bath together Dixie jacuzzi. I jacuzzi you of taking a naked bath as your dad I feel like we've already ruined his chance at romance for his whole life with this episode He'll be lucky if he can feel anything ever. Here's a romantic idea. Don't let her listen to this episode. Yeah, that's it Baby, I was gonna make you listen to this podcast. I like but then I decided not to you're welcome surprise Yeah She'll know um griffin. You got a yahoo. I do actually I was just about to bust it out break it off
Starting point is 00:26:41 This one was sent in by mike susek Thank you mike susek. It comes to us from yahoo inserts user Uh in jordan 72 Hmm It's uh, he asks Is it possible to be addicted to tabasco sauce? I put tabasco on everything. I think it may be unhealthy, but I just can't stop I went to my local community center, but they said they didn't have any programs for my type of addiction
Starting point is 00:27:08 I don't know where to turn and my mouth is on fire help Hey, um I've got You know a small suggestion that you may find helpful um Stop eating so much fucking tabasco sauce. Yeah, why don't you try? just Just if you're about to put it on there if you see yourself opening the cap
Starting point is 00:27:32 Of a a large bottle of tabasco Then Don't do that and go do something else instead. I am gonna throw out though. Here's my thought If all he's been doing is putting tabasco sauce on everything and like burning his mouth Everything's gonna taste like cardboard now like wet nothing cardboard. Uh, oh, he's killed mix it up Get get our get the planet's finest condiment sriracha And and start put it on stuff mix up because I got some garlic in there got some Thai chilies delicious There's this show that I've started watching recently. It's called freaky eaters
Starting point is 00:28:05 And it's about people addicted to weird things And I watched this episode the other day where a girl drank 30 cans of soda a day That's not okay. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Maybe don't cure your addiction. Get on tv. That's what I'm saying Get that money I um, do you guys remember when I used to put tabasco on everything? Yeah, and then your stomach revolted Yeah, my stomach died. Um, so that's a that's a very serious I know is griffin has a monkey stomach You know a griffin's favorite fruit is now
Starting point is 00:28:40 Nannish Pears actually weird. It's weird. It's messed up. It seems like a missed opportunity. Yeah Tabasco pears griffin loves them can't get enough Uh, is it okay to request an attractive girl in my class after talking with her and sharing a bunch of laughs today in class Even if I'm not sure she even knows my name I should have said friend request I just said request Hey, would you like a woman, please? Would you like to?
Starting point is 00:29:10 Um, I've had a couple classes with her in college the past year And I would like to get to know her and ask her out eventually but this is uh, the first where we've actually talked to each other Appreciate the advice. Sincerely face hooked gmail. I love it. I love it. I love it I feel like we have made it Like as an advice Uh organization, uh, it's because of these these pseudonyms. Yeah I This is like our second question about this whole like adding a friend thing
Starting point is 00:29:39 Is I think this is like a new wrinkle in in the facebook era where This it bothers me, but at the same time it's so convenient. Mm-hmm. It makes I feel like so easy Yeah, I feel like though you're gonna miss out on I feel like if you if you facebook Friend request a girl that you don't know that well You're gonna miss out on a lot of the stuff The good stuff that comes with like getting to know somebody like there's so much you could dig up there And like in a creepy way not in a good way
Starting point is 00:30:10 And I mean part of this problem is that a lot of us put too much on the internet for people to look at I get that but Here's the thing. Here's the thing Socializing over the internet. It's it's convenient and uh, it may allow you to interact with people that you normally wouldn't But ultimately on the the grand scale of social interaction. It's kind of like eating corn chips In that, um, you can eat a whole bunch of corn chips and never really get full It's sort of there. It's empty calories As far as socializing goes like I would rather play that into human language
Starting point is 00:30:47 I would rather have one like really good long conversation with a person than than 100 facebook chats Because ultimately those don't I don't think those add up to anything I don't know I got but It takes little to no effort to accept your friend request on facebook. So it means nothing So if you like you're gonna get the wrong idea. Yeah, and she says yes, and you're like, yeah, she added me as a friend She probably doesn't even know who you are But you know, it's so easy to just click yes rather than try to figure out who that person is I'm I'm officially on the side of I don't think it's a good idea to use facebook to get a relationship going
Starting point is 00:31:22 I use the old-fashioned way. I think you'll be better off in the long run. I think that it can work But it's probably not going to it. It just there's no added benefit to using facebook It just seems like a way to hide behind facebook You know just go talk to her if you had a good conversation with her Play off of that Yeah, keep talking sure. Yeah, you know what I'd like to see in meat space. I I'd like to see uh an entire
Starting point is 00:31:49 Relationship that lasts and it lasts an entire lifetime That just only takes place on facebook The two people have no never have any real life physical interaction just pokes Uh and chats and pokes wall posts And they create a baby they create a poke baby Poke baby. I have created several poke babies with with our listeners. Man, the pokes are blowing up guys. They are blowing up Every time I log on it's like 30 to 40 pokes
Starting point is 00:32:16 Just and I have to take like, you know, five minutes to respond to all of them, but it's worth it It's totally worth it. Keep those posts going folks. Keep going pokes. It's how you show you care I met the most amazing girl a few weeks ago. Jesus Christ. Wow Ouch She's intelligent classy beautiful loves wine and art Sounds too good for you. Yep. Anyway, I'm not liking what this is going, but let her go. You've had it Anyways, I manned up got her number and asked her out on a date a week after I met her you asked her out in Real life. That's already puts you ahead of the curve
Starting point is 00:32:51 Uh, we went out and it was absolutely amazing one of the best dates. I've ever been on we went out to a nice dinner raking Up a bill close to 80 dollars. Well, I've got a fairly good job. It was still a bit expensive for my taste Problem is that if we're going on a second date soon, which will include dinner And I'm not sure if I could she take her to a similar place or if things will go fine in regards to somewhere cheaper It's only been one date, but I'm afraid I've set a standard for outings here after What are your thoughts on the amount you've spent on dates since you've sampled this guy? I have the best answer for this like Awesome and like good answer
Starting point is 00:33:21 For once you need to trade the cost of that dinner For the amount of thought you put into the date So a picnic doesn't cost you a lot of money, but if you set it up really nice, it's more impressive than an 80 dollar dinner So true. So what you know that is such a good point. Yes Unless she unless she a gold digger She a gold digger which is a great time to find that out on the second date Yeah, a good point. It's either going to like separate the wheat from the chaff or it's going to save you a few bucks It is a win either way
Starting point is 00:33:56 But guys, she is intelligent, classy, beautiful, loves wine and art You can't take a fine fine woman like that to benign against But you don't I'm going to say go to benign against Griffin. You're not paying attention. You're not thinking Take her to a museum where there is no admission, but suggest the donations She loves art and then and then suggest that she if she wants to donate she does it from her own birth By a $15 bottle of wine from Kroger And Three bucks and crackers picnic
Starting point is 00:34:27 You're in san francisco. You have great parks there Right, I see it in full house every day It's hard to have a picnic in those parks though because I mean if you have any round fruits They'll just like roll right down the blanket and the tanners are always raising a ruckus, you know them Get out of my potato salad. Get out of my potato salad. I have a crush on a guy I've worked with him for a while. He is the reason I got into the moonbam. Oh, I like him already I know I am hot enough Yeah, I love it. I love it. Do I a bed him and lose my best friend I work with or b
Starting point is 00:35:05 Not bed him. How do I not sleep with someone I have a crush on ps Would keep it in my pants for Griffin McElroy. Tasha. Thank you. What does that mean? I have one question here. What kind of praying mantis are you that if you sleep with him You lose him and kill him Where does he go? I think tasha. I think honestly that You it is more fun to have someone at work that you flirt with and have the possibility of doing it Then to do it and it's like weird forever. Yeah
Starting point is 00:35:36 You know, I I don't know. What do you what do you guys think? What depends do you have a crush on him and you want to do him or do you like like him? Or do you want to have sex with him and then eat him apparently his head and my eggs and his Hey, did you play listen? I had a great time last night me too. Did you lay eggs in my thorax? Oh, that's really weird I've got to say I feel a gurgling down in my my midsection It's very it's very odd. Um, I I think tasha for voting I say don't Have sex with him and kill him, but maybe
Starting point is 00:36:13 I and also tasha you're hot enough to bed him. He should be advancing on you let him set the pace of this He should become to you He should come to you I think your words start making jokes About dealing him but never actually doing it but always have a possibility hanging in the air Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. This guy listens to the show We're officially advising this girl to give him a cold shirt. Listen. Okay, listen Dude, we're doing it for your own good. She wants to eat you. She's gonna lay eggs in your thorax
Starting point is 00:36:45 Face and lay them lay eggs in your face. I feel like you've ever seen species We have a unique opportunity right now. Um, because this is the first time that we've gotten a question like this Where both parties we know are listening to the show Um, I think instead of advising them to do one or the other Uh, we should just say you two kids Just swap tartar sauce like the next time you see each other But tasha don't eat it. They need to make out in the supply closet too sweet. What is it? Today is monday. Um, they're probably not listening to the show before work. We'll say after work. So Tuesday morning
Starting point is 00:37:21 Uh, you say morning. No no discussion. I will say 10 o'clock supply closet uh, tasha and Doug or whatever your name is And Wednesday morning, I will keep an eye out for all of the newspaper reports about people over the country named tasha and blank Uh filing sexual harassment suits Or or getting murdered getting eggs laid in their abdomen one of those two one of those two I want to hear griffin's last question. Um But uh, I I feel like there's a few housekeeping things we need to take care of first off
Starting point is 00:37:57 Uh, mbmbam is our dot com is our website. You can go there to ask us questions to find links to buy T-shirts, which I would suggest you do because supplies Are are running low. So if you'd like a t-shirt you want to stock up for the holiday season We we want to issue some new items, but we're kind of holding off on that until Um, we we sell through on this stuff. So if you want something go get it, uh And um, if you want something new if there's an item you think you'd like to see on there, um, Please let us know drop us a line Uh, we can we can make original artwork. Um, if there's a phrase that a lot of people would like on a t-shirt
Starting point is 00:38:36 I know we've had some requests for pack your bags and move away on a t-shirt And really the um the holiday rush has begun Yeah, I don't know if you guys knew that but uh, it's in it's in full swing So I I think you know the best present for your your christmas or your hanukkah or your ramadan or your kwanza Is Um a mbmbam shirt. Yep forever every holiday those shirts will last you forever They're the gift that keeps on giving warmth fashion protection
Starting point is 00:39:09 protection from spears and arrows and things that it doesn't do that also jibes Jibes no one's going to take a shot at you without shirt on uh, and um, if you get a second and you want to Review our podcast on itunes. That's great because it helps to turn people onto it Um and subscribe please subscribe and download and um, we we have had a couple listing parties. We recorded Uh, invitations to them this week if you're getting a few friends together to listen to mbmbam Introduce some new people to the show. Let's shout out. Let's shout them out. Jeff, uh, monlock Jeff monlock and john newton john newton both having parties turning them out if you want to yeah if you want to be in that they are they are, uh
Starting point is 00:39:51 John newton is in mbmbam fan club two and beta beta okay beta and uh, and monlock is is fan club prime So, uh, if you want to be on that exclusive list of cool fan clubs have mbmbam parties, please email us Let us know, you know, tell us about your party who's coming whatever we'll record something for you special um, just to keep you sort of In close to our bosom don't fake us out though. Don't fake this on common as you gotta send pictures or it didn't happen Picks or it didn't happen
Starting point is 00:40:27 Um, and thank you so So much for listening. I haven't checked the download count in a while, but I'm sure it's over a million this week It was seven seven seven people But those seven people really liked it. Yeah. Oh, we have a we have a voicemail, too Uh, which the number for which is
Starting point is 00:40:50 203 mbmbam one Okay, um, so give us a call on that and just talk we got we got a few uh, a few calls this week And I I love listening to them. You listen to all of them, right? I listen to every single one I just like hearing their voices, you know, right? Especially especially if they sound real serious because you can tell they're nervous And I like that that's a turn on for me. I can taste their fear Last question hit me hit me break me up with slice. Um, I'm debating between two All right, um, choose wisely. This one was also sent in by uh
Starting point is 00:41:26 Mike Susick It's from oh god. I don't even know how to pronounce his name. It's from yahoo answers user bingwanides three eight God damn it guys. Um Who asks How can I grow a tom sell it like mustache like magnum p. I? Uh, I'm just a macaroy. I'm travis macaroy. I'm griffin macaroy And this has been my brother my brother me
Starting point is 00:41:55 Kiss your dad's square on the lips. You will never know me Unless you're in a dick soup together Then don't Oh

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