My Brother, My Brother And Me - My Brother, My Brother and Me 24: Hey Hon, How's Your Day

Episode Date: October 4, 2010

It's October, which we all know is the official month of advice, and also pumpkins. Unfortunately, if you've tuned in for a podcast about squash appreciation, you've come to the wrong place. That first thing, though -- that's something we can do something about. Suggested talking points: Oh My Tosh, sexy frumpy dragon, screaming infidelities, baby chain, a torso donation from Kevin Smith, street magic, Mollytalk, coming out

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? If you change your mind, I'm the first in line, only I'm still free, take a chance on me. If you need me, let me know, gonna be around, if you've got no place to go when you're feeling down. If you're all alone, when I'm breathing fresh air, I'm the first in line, only I'm still free.

Alright, it's your favorite Hollywood celebrities, my brother and my brother and me. You may know us from Comedy Central's hit, Tosh Point A, where we were. Would you like to say feature? I would say we cameoed. I would say spotlighted at least. I got a call on my mobile from my boy Tosh. Yeah, this didn't happen. That's what I call him.

My boy Tosh called up. He was like, hey, listen, I was just in the editing base. Somebody was wearing one of your shirts on one of my funny segments on my funny internet show. I just wanted to get your permission to put it on the air. Tosh, you and I go way back. Way back. I'll allow it. Tosh, if you're listening, I hope I didn't just cramp your style.

We actually do a big thanks to Gregory Posey, who had the forethought to, before he ate a disgusting 100% cacao bar to put on my brother and my brother and me t-shirts. He is leading in terms of my brother and my brother and me fandom. I think it's fair to say. You should follow him on Twitter. He is Mr. Dr. Muffin, which is also a very good name. First stomp, Tosh.0. Next stomp, law and order.

I'd like to get on Tosh.1. If you're going to commit a terrible crime that is going to result in notoriety, just put on a strap on him a bim-bam t-shirt underneath that, your Kevlar vest. No, don't actually wear the Kevlar vest because you'll distract from the branding. There's nothing I want to see more than a guy charging and screaming about something and law enforcement tries to bring him down. The bullet's ripped through his my brother and my brother b-t-shirt but hit Kevlar. He's like, you can't bring me down.

It gives the false impression that our shirts are bulletproof. My brother and my brother made it. When asked, the suspect replied, I guess it's time to pack my bags and move away. DJ, I'll be back to you, Jim. Don't actually do any of the things we just said. Don't do any of the things we said, but that's a pretty common rule here on My Brother and My Brother Me. It's an advice show for the modern era. We don't suggest you do anything we tell you to.

Even if our advice is good, occasionally we have to legally sort of cover ourselves that way. I feel like we've danced around this enough. I think it's time to get a spoon and really dig into the advice portion of the show. So let's hear from Shole 17. She's on the Twitter service. She says, hi guys. Hi Shole. I'm a 22 year old gal.

I need a clever original costume to wear to my friend's Halloween party. Any suggestions? If I had one, I would probably use it myself. Yeah, I probably wouldn't give it out. I'm so terrible at coming up with Halloween costumes. The best thing is always, I think, to do a group of people doing something. Yeah, you got solidarity. What about a sexy dragon?

I don't know why a sexy dragon, but sexy things are pretty popular with girls. Everybody likes a dragon, right? Sexy werewolves? That's a thing. She needs it to be clever and original. I think the dragon portion of that is okay. What about like a frumpy dragon? What about like a confident unattractive dragon?

How about a sexy frumpy person? Yeah, like your hair is disheveled, but in a sexy way, and you're wearing like a stupid plaid dress, but it's kind of like too short. I was like, whoa, you're frumpy, but also very draggy. I don't think we can help you on this because I think that your Halloween costume is a true sign of creativity, and creativity comes from inside. For instance, my favorite Halloween costume is when Travis told me about

it was at a party, I believe, in Oklahoma, where someone came to the Halloween party wearing just a pair of jeans, and when asked what he was, he said premature ejaculation because he just came in his pants. That is the best Halloween costume ever, because it's a joke, it's clever, and it transforms you. It's transformative. The best thing I can do to show you is tell you what to avoid,

and here's the costume I can't stand. A production costume where you get there, and it was like, oh my God, what an elaborate costume! And within minutes, you are sweating, and you just like... Chunks are falling off. Chunks of it are falling off because you like sheet paper, but shade it to your body, and you look just about half hour in. You just look like a nightmare, and all the sexy dragons

and sexy frumpy people are scooping up all the dudes. I think what you should do is you should go as a group, find a group of people, and do sexy Supreme Court justices. That's good. That's a good one. So do my or. What? She plays softball, you know.

I think, what do you guys think is going to be the hot one this year? The hot... Two years ago, it was the Joker. Everyone was a Joker, right? Last year, it was a balloon boy, right? What? I miss that. Everybody was balloon boy.

I miss that trend. I got to get balloon boy. I was creeped out by a sexy balloon boy, though. The best costume is the one that would have been culturally relevant three years ago. Let me hit you with one. Judge Lance Edo. What major cultural events happened this year that are going to be Halloween-ified?

I think we're smart enough to figure this out. I think, because I think this isn't just shooting the shit anymore. This could be a practical business venture. You can keep track of what is happening. You will wear a Jersey Shore costume. That's probably what it'll be, right? It'll be Jersey Shore. No, Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga. But Lady Gaga, how do you do that? She is a costume. You put some hula hoops around your waist? Yeah. You get a meat dress. Hula hoops made out of meat and human hair. Might I suggest going as three sexy podcast hosting brothers?

Wow. Duma bim bam, but just use two mannequin heads. That's what I want. That's basically the setup we have going on right now. That is basically, yeah. I am a puppet. I am Travis's puppet. Griffin is my puppet that I am trying.

It's very confusing. I'm currently in a situation I do not know how to handle. You're kind of the right place. I am falling for a married woman. Oh, sorry. Yes, the center is me and I've embraced that already, but all signs point to her having feelings for me too. She's mentioned how her marriage has been on the rock several times because of him. What should I do?

That's lag from Gmail. Oh, that's a simple question. Don't do an effing thing. Not a thing. Here's a good way to deal with this situation. You got to get out of it. You got to run far, run fast because I guarantee you. I guarantee you that is the worst way to begin a relationship.

The number one worst way and lag. I don't know how to say this, but Dr. Phil says that if she will cheat on him to be with you, she will cheat on you to be with the cute pizza guy. That's just science. I have a test and I call it, how did you meet mommy? One day, if you have kids, they'll look up at you and say, how did you meet mommy? And if your answer is, well, she was married to this other guy and I totally made them divorced. It's time for you to learn about adultery.

Yeah. Mommy wanted a taste of, you know how when you eat fruit loops every morning, some mornings you wake up and you want some Captain Crunch. Daddy was Captain Crunch for mommy. And I crunched. She put my crunch bear, my figurative crunch berries in her in her mouth and she bit down. And then it was, it turned into oops, all berries. Yeah.

And then you were born nine months later. You're born. It was nine months later. It was a miracle, really a miracle. That's why we named you Raz. So what you need to do is nothing I said. Yeah, like, don't do it. Don't do it.

Don't do it. That fucking sucks, man. It sucks. That sucks, dude. That's a sucky thing to do. That's the worst thing you can do. Like, no matter how, the world is trying to whittle me down, but I'm still a pretty romantic guy. But I don't think there's any situation where I'm going to be like, oh man, I'm so crazy for that person.

I'm going to break up their marriage. Yeah. That's all, that's, that's, that goes against God's law. Yeah. Goes against state law, depending on what state you live in. I'm sure there are some states where adultery is illegal, right? Oh. Like Utah.

Oh, see, I knew you were going to go there. Yeah. So you want him to be a brother husband. Oh, no, brother husband. Lag, you're better than that. You're not a brother husband. Lag, let me give you a two, here's the thing. A lot of people won't tell you about jerking off.

Jerking off is, is good and it's healthy. It's natural. It's beautiful. It's human, right? So of course, but it also can, for the span of 15 to 20 minutes afterwards, give you superpowers. What do you mean, Justin? Well, first off, you can be supernaturally caring to your special someone for 15 to 20 minutes. All you care about is them.

You do not, you can be free of your sexual urges. It can also help you to weather the storms of temptation. Here's what you do. Lag, you jerk it, pick up a phone, tell her you're done. That's it. That can't happen because lag, that is the only time you will have the strength to do it because I get, because if you can't do it then then you are not in lust. You have genuine feelings for her.

What you need to do is try to do that. And then you can tell it's not your wiener making the decisions for you. You need to master your baition. What? And overcome it. What? Yes. Did Michael Jackson die this year?

Or was that last year? Last year. Son of a bitch. I'm still thinking of Halloween costumes. I thought that dead Michael Jackson might be one. Ditto, you got a Yahoo answer for us? I sure do. This one was sent into us by Bug42.

I wanted to actually save it for later in the show but it's like a beautiful present that, and I know it's inside of it already and I want to share it with the world. So it's not like a present at all. But it was sent in by Bug42. Thank you Bug42. It's a question by Kevin K. O. Arsena-Lista. That's his moniker on the internet. He asks, can your baby get pregnant if you have sex while pregnant?

Like, the baby is a girl and you have sex and the sperm goos to her while in the womb. I'm imagining like a Russian doll situation. The answer is obviously yes. Like when you could have a shark and there's a baby in the shark and then there's a shark baby inside. A person inside of person, inside of person, inside of person, at infinity. That's when it gets tricky. It's the fifth baby in there that gets a problem.

Like, you know, you get your significant other pregnant and then you get that baby pregnant and then you get that baby pregnant and then you get that baby pregnant. But then you're getting down to that tiny little baby in the middle. You go to your wife and you say, why does my baby's baby baby look nothing like me? I have to get a chart out because I cannot honestly answer you. There are too many layers of abstraction here. Can we also address, like, his concept is of course delightful. Can we address his use of goos as a verb?

I think he misspelled goes, but I guess it works either way. Yeah, it does, right? Like in this specific case, it just goes into the baby. Well, when it gets tricky is, yeah, if it's a girl baby, she gets pregnant. But if it's a guy baby, he gets it. You break that chain. Once you break that chain, you can't make any more humans. What you should do is try and time out all the pregnancies so that the due dates fall

within the same time so that you can get a chain of births, like a charm bracelet thing going on. What? Like a charm bracelet of human beings. I don't think that babies can get pregnant to answer your question. No, you have to be at least seven. That's when I think that's when you become fertile. This is from Terry. Terry asks, I have an OK job at the moment, but a job I have wanted for a long time has

come up and in order to apply for this new job, I may need to get myself in some serious trouble at my current job. Do you think it's worth risking? Terry, do you mean that like you're going to have to get into some shenanigans or like in order to get fired, you've got to get such monkey shines that you can get removed from this current job? Like what's the... I've got a really good...

But the only way to get in is to break into my current job. I've got this great goof. You guys want to hear my goof? Yeah, let me hear the goof. Here's what you do while you're at work. While you're working, you're at your desk, right? And you're doing whatever it is that you do. You stand up and you go in your boss's office and you say, I don't want to work here anymore.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I think what he said, he doesn't have a guarantee. So like... Then why does he want to get in trouble at his job if he doesn't have a guarantee? Terry, how bad are you at secrets that your job needs... Your job one needs to find out that you're applying for job two. Like are you just so terrified that you're going to... Hey boss, I need to leave early today.

I'm dying. I mean, my grandfather is applying for it. Damn it! Okay, I've re-read the question now. And I think what's going on is that he... The company he wants to work at is a competitor to the company he's currently working at. So they want him to like steal company secrets. Oh shit, espionage.

I think there's some corporate espionage going on. I've been waiting for... We don't want none of that shit. 24 episodes to get an espionage question. And just to tell you that we're having enough of it. We will allow babies to get pregnant by other babies intercourse before we allow espionage to be discussed on this program. If there's one thing that really drives me off the wall, it's spies. Spies?

We did have... Ooh, spies. We had a question about marital espionage earlier. Does that count? Is it? Is it? Yes. Yeah, totally works.

Subterfuge, I'm okay with it. Corporate espionage. How have corporations been through enough? Look at the economy. How have these corporate... These poor businesses been through enough that you're going to subject them to espionage, Terry? A2, Terry? After all the paychecks they've given you?

After that nice cake that Carla from Accountant got you for your birthday? Gross, Terry, gross. Robocop. Robocop, I know there hasn't been a Robocop movie in a long, long time, but I think the Robocop students have a comeback. You just show up dressed as Robocop and people will be like, oh shit, I've never seen anybody in a Robocop outfit. Form Spring asks,

Dear my bin bam, what do you think is the best way to ease relationship insecurities? I'm in a long-term relationship and give it my all, but I feel like I'm not good enough for my successful boyfriend, and I don't want to bother him with my petty issues. Ooh. So you're dealing with your own insecurities. Not his. Right.

She is insecure in the relationship because she thinks the boyfriend is too good for her. You can't let that kind of thing seep into your head. You just, you gotta, you gotta overcome that because that is sort of a self-defeating, self-defeating thing. And I guess that's what you're trying to do. You're trying to ask for it. Let me, let me give you some, an upside here. And while it might not seem like it, I think you're in a win-win situation.

Where I think a good way to get over it is to express these insecurities with your boyfriend and say, I want to talk about these. I know these are issues. And if he doesn't want to listen, hey, your insecurities are totally justified. And then you get to deal with that. You realize like halfway through your answer that it wasn't an answer really. Right. Is that what happened?

I realized like, oh, this isn't as positive as I thought it was going to be. How about just, you know, find something on the side. Just get a little side dude going, get a little side dude action, because he will give you all of the, the attention and all of the, you know, positive reinforcement that you need. You need a side dude. And it's not cheating. It's not cheating if you do it for those reasons.

Listen, if Mr. Success, you want to knock him down a few pegs. That's how you do it. That'll be your secret. That's your success that you keep from him. Did we just discover the reason why people cheat on their significant others? It's got to be one of them. The other one is if the person is immensely physically attractive. Just super, super attractive.

So hot. So hot. So hot. Drink it in. Yes. I don't care about my insecurities anymore. You are bringing me such pleasure because of your physical attractiveness and your sexual prowess that this is worth it.

I hate to, I hate to keep interrupting. But Paul Blart Mall Cop. Did that come out this year or was that last year? I believe that was Paul Blart was. I'm not kidding. I think Paul Blart Mall Cop would be a pretty, I might actually. How about Paul Blart Robocop? Whoa.

Did you not watch the movie Travis? Around the halfway point. During the ascending action of that movie is he gets cut in half by one of those gates that they use to lock down stores so they have to give him robot legs. So from the, actually it was a segue. His bottom half became a segue and his top half was Kevin Smith. It was so fucking funny. It was a rough, rough surgery and they had to get a torso donation from Kevin Smith.

So Kevin James is dead. He was killed. Kevin Smith's top half. Like the segways underneath his long coat. Yes. Paul Blart Mall Rat. Thank you. Monster.

You're an aminal. What? It seems like with all of the people I know in a relationship, the guy is usually four to 10 years older than their GF. And any girls I meet who are relatively close to my age seem to be interested in older guys. 22, not particularly interested in dating 18 year olds. One of the youngest within my group of college friends by a few years. Wait, really?

Okay. And most people think I'm 18 or 19. My question is, should I keep trying to meet girls my age knowing they probably won't want to talk with me or jump on the bandwagon and be that guy who's always hitting on 18 year old girls? Nate, that's great. First of all, stop hanging out with old Mr. Jenkins, the groundskeeper. But he's clearly laid out the only two options he has. All joking aside, be lonely because everyone else, all of your peers are grooving on the

28 to 34 year olds or be with an 18 year old. Because what was great is when you were 18 years old, you couldn't date an 18 year old because they were all dating 22 year olds. It's a circle of life. It's a wheel of boning. I could try to be really uppity right now, but man, I pretty much only dated a freshman in college. So that's my advice.

It's awesome. You know, Nate, you have got to get over the age thing. I swear to God, I'm 59 years old and by the time you get to be my age, you will never think about how old somebody is. Okay, you're 22. You're hitting on an 18 year old. Gross, yucky, whatever. You're 70 and you're married to a 66 year old.

Really? That's nothing. It's infinitesimal. How about this? You're three and a half and you're hitting on sperm. Whoa. That's what you came for me. The worst is it's a pregnant sperm, so you got the stigma too from your parents.

You're dead and she's 88 and you're still dating. Why don't you, I'm going to date someone your own age? I guess, I don't know. What kind of strict rules does your campus have? I'm so uncool now apparently. I do not know the things that are going on. I think when you're fresh out of college, when you're fresh out of college or you're near in the end of college, you don't want to date people in college anymore.

You want to date people who have already made it because that's who you want to be. You date the kind of person that you want to be and that's who most of these people would be. You want to date people in college so I could drink in their naivety like a sweet elixir. Oh, God, they're so optimistic about the future and what it holds. They're so happy not being high school anymore. That's me drinking in their positivity. Yum.

Yum. It's delicious. It tastes like sunshine, like liquid sunshine. How about a Yahoo Answers question? Yes. Do it. This one was sent in by Cal. The question is, oh man, it's so great.

I didn't read his name before. It's from A1Magician. A1Magician asks appropriate to his name, in performing street magic, what is the best way to open a conversation and starting a performance? I really want to do some street magic to some bystanders. He wants to do magic to people. I'm glad he's established already that magic is in fact something you do to people. I want to do some street magic to some bystanders, customers in a restaurant and et cetera, but

I could not seem to find the right words to open or engage in a conversation leading to me performing magic. I got, okay, here's a few helpful suggestions from your friends at my brother and my brother and me. Hey, do you guys want to see some magic? Okay, who here likes magic? That's a good one. That's a pretty good one.

Are you stupid enough to be taken in by simple illusions? Hey, you look gullible. Check this shit out. Hey, let me see your iPhone for a second. Can I borrow a quarter? Hey, I need to get on a bus. I've been on my own for too long. Here's what comes with that.

I don't think there is a good way to open a conversation for street magic. That's why street magic is so intriguing, right? Because theater magic, people have paid to come to see you. They are doing viewership to your magic as opposed to the opposite. You're doing your magic to them. I am personally terrified of the idea that I could just be walking around in my day-to-day and someone could just magic me out of nowhere with no permission. Hey, excuse me, can I stop you for a moment?

I want to do some magic. No, I would prefer you not. I am going to the mall. No, just let me just give me a moment to do some magic to you. You're going to love it. When I'm walking down the busy bustling streets of Chicago, there are two things that I'm on Vigilant Watch for. And by Vigilant Watch, I keep them in my periphery,

but I don't look directly at them because I don't want to engage them and it is the homeless and of course street magicians or people who I assume to be street magicians. If there was a homeless person that came out to do street magic to me, I would explode. What if one bum rushed you and said, hey, I bet you thought I was going to do some street magic? Well, you may already be psychic.

Maybe I should watch you do a trick and then street magic, just like that. Travis, you did some street magic, right? I remember you were into street magic and you had conversations about getting into street magic. Did I make that up? I dabbled in Prestidigitation. What if you didn't start it? Maybe you had them ask you to do magic.

So let me hit you with this. You stumble out of a theater and you have a magician's costume on, but the elbows are kind of ratty and you're crying and just fall down the street and sob when someone asks you what's wrong. They say my magic wasn't good enough. They said no one would want to see my old stupid tricks. And then you get them to be like, I'm sure that's not true.

Oh, fuck it's on. Let's get some magic. Open your mouth. I'm putting wonder in it. Maybe not that so much. Open your mouth. I'm going to put some wonder in you. Oh, God. I did just come up with a really great street magic routine where you are the bum who's like asking for money, but everything you ask for is part of the trick.

We're like, can I borrow a quarter? He's like, I don't have a quarter. He's like, oh, then what's that behind your ear? I think you're legitimately developing street magician routines now. If there's ever been a short sign that it's time to move on, I think this is it. I can't. This is from Chris via Gmail. He says, I can't seem to get my wife's attention.

We both work. That's what I hear when someone used the exclamation point. We both work fast-paced jobs, long hours and long commutes. We're either going full speed or pass out from exhaustion. We tend to buzz right by each other on most days. My question is, how can I get her to slow down and start hanging out more? I like to do something special, so I figured I'd solicit some expert advice from you guys. As a side note, Molly, my wife, is a loyal listener,

so she could be listening right now. Assuming you get to my question, maybe a plea directly to her would do the trick. The MBMB AM wedding proposal was a home run. Can you spray a little magic for us, Chris? Chris, I feel like we shepherd you. Let me do some magic to you, Chris. Say, hey, Molly, can I do some magic to you? And she'll be so intrigued, I think, that you've got her for at least 30 minutes.

What day is it today? It's Monday, right? That's the day that the shows go up. I think that you guys need to arrange a date night on this coming Thursday. 8 p.m., you'll go out, you'll get a bite to eat at your favorite dining spot, and then at 10 p.m., go see a film, go see the social network. And sit in the back and neck, just neck the whole time. Don't even watch the movie, just neck. Well, then go see a bad movie then.

It's supposed to be terrible. Go see Paul Blokmalkov, the show at the Dollar Theater. You know, this is tough, because I mean, I'm married to a doctor, so she's kind of busy. Always bragging. Always bragging about that. I think you should... I don't see that she's not going to reset you asking her to slow down and spend her time with you. Like, do you know who does that? Babies. Like, literal babies.

And especially pregnant babies. God, you want to hear a complainer. Can't speak, but you know she's bitching at you? God, pregnant babies. The thing to do, my suggestion at least, would, hey, maybe get a little more comfortable with you time. Oh, Chris time, eh? Don't mind if I do, let me open up a can of Chris time,

where I drink the beverages I want to drink and watch what I want to watch on TV. But that's a... The thing set up a bear trap. Bear traps are cruel and unusual, but some sort of snare. Some sort of snare that's not gonna hurt. You know what, I've always wanted one where you bend the tree over way far, and then you leave it on the ground. But that will kill, that will kill her.

Wait, no, no won't. Just grab her up by her foot, and I was hit, not one of the ones that flings her across the garden. Right, that's the one that I was thinking. How about a tiger pit? A tiger pit might be hard to pull off in your house. Don't put the spikes in there. This is a family-friendly tiger pit.

That is a rookie mistake. But if you have a rug, a large conspicuous rug in your house, just put a tiger pit down there. Maybe you could clear 30 minutes in your own schedule to think about the fact that your wife makes time for us, but not you. Enjoy that. That could be something you could do in your spare time. Maybe she listens to us on the commute.

But this idea is worth looking into if she does listen to us on the commute. Maybe you should do your own podcast, but the podcast isn't you giving advice to people who desperately need it, as much as it is you just talking about your wife, talking about how much you love your wife, all the things that you do in the day that your wife doesn't know about but should know about, and we can call it Molly Talk.

Molly Talk. If you need some tips. Poor Chris. Chris. Chris Riffs. Chris Riffs. Loot or Chris? I've got nothing.

Saddest podcast ever? Kind of a bummer. Hey Hun, how's your day? I like Hey Hun, how's your day? Hey Hun. Can we change the name of our podcast? Hey Hun, how's your day? I am a girl living with a guy who I have been friends with for a while.

My other friends and I have always had a sneaking suspicion that he might be gay. And I think if he came out he would be much happier. Is there an easy way to have this talk? Thanks mom's right. Are you sure? Are you sure he's gay? You 100% sure. That's so important.

Is it possible that you just really want him to be gay? Hey, yeah. Do you just want a gay friend? I get it, but... I think it would be easier for us to advise if we knew some more about the dude. Because there is a lot of things that can be perceived to be gay traits that aren't. Simply aren't. Maybe he enjoys Top Chef, but Justin you enjoy Top Chef.

Are you like, does he wear men's fashion scarves? Oh, scarves, that could go either way. Hell, maybe he goes either way. It's hard to say. And that would be a whole different discussion. I think if he wanted to talk about it, I think he would probably discuss it with you. He would probably be more comfortable living with you if all the cards were on the table. Which you can take one of two ways.

Either A, he doesn't want to talk about it, or B, he's not gay. I really don't know how you don't know this already. Because if you don't know he's gay at this point you've been living with him, then he is not at least not out of the closet gay. Wouldn't you think? I think coming out of the closet is such a big deal because you can't approach it like this. I think it's such a big deal because nobody can do it but you. And let me throw something out. Like nobody can be like, hey, it's cool, it's time to come on out.

Come on out here, we have candy. I'm gonna throw out, it's none of your business. Well, I'm gonna put a little bit nicer. A little bit nicer since you're a listener to our pfft. Mind your own goddamn business. You selfish bitch. Why is it so important to you? I think it's another way of looking at it.

You like your relationship with him, right? You don't want to put any undue stress on it, right? Just let it go. Maybe he's secret gay. Maybe he's not. Maybe it's that mystery that keeps your relationship going. Who knows? Maybe he's been acting gay so he can look at you in the shower

and you never suspect it. Whoa, whoa, pull your mind. Just let him be. Let it be him. Like a beautiful, beautiful butterfly that may or may not be gay. Also, come on to him. Yeah, sure, fire. Show him her boobs and then say, hey, let's see that boner.

I want to see him. Boner check. Boner check. Boner test. Quick. You failed. You failed, gay. You don't want this, gay.

You don't want this body. Just banging. Just be gay. You don't like this. Me, I have. Why don't you go fuck a guy. You don't want this body. Gay.

Gay. Gay. There is literally no thing that you can do in this situation that is not going to be terrible. Just sit on your hands. Go to bed. Either you want these jugs or you want dudes. The dudes on your face.

Make up your mind. Do you want to kiss on the man? On the face? Are you going to kiss these jugs? Right on them. Say jugs as much as possible. Because if he doesn't get over it. There's nothing sexier than that.

Nothing sexier than that. I would say just calling his mom. Hey, do you know your son's gay? And then, judge from her reaction. No. All right. In all seriousness, don't, don't stir up this. Don't be high.

Don't do anything. Hook him up when he's ready. Find some ways to say, like, there, right now, you know, there's a lot of issues that pertain to the gay and lesbian community right now in the news. Maybe find some way to express your support of the homosexual lifestyle so he feels comfortable talking to you about it.

But otherwise, don't force it because it's, it's not going to be good for your relationship. If you really want him to be comfortable talking about it and if he is to come out to you, then you need to drop it. You need to not worry about it. If, if he is out of the closet, he will tell you when he's ready. And if he's not, it is not your place to convince him to

come out of the closet. Maybe, maybe you are gay too and you want him to be gay so you can be in love together. And if so, I would submit, you do not understand how these things work. It does not work like you would think it did when you were four years old. Trust me on this.

I want to hear Griffin's final question. But first, a few quick housekeeping things. Our website is my brother. My brother made it's mbmbam.com. You can find out how to ask us questions on there. We love all of your questions. What we also love is when people on Twitter, you can follow us on Twitter at mbmbam.

We also love to see people asking questions or saying quotes and using the mbmbam hashtag. Just putting the quotes out there. Try to get people interested in the show. We have t-shirts available. We are going to try to get some new gear out, some new merch soon. Yeah, now is the time to start sounding off on whether or

not you guys want more shirts if you didn't get any. I guess there are still some available. If we did do more shirts, what would you like to see? We have gotten a bunch of people requesting some more Rousseau's artwork, which is all exceptional. I would love to put on my body every day of the week. That is the end game really for this podcast is to create at least seven different shirts featuring Justin Rousseau's

artwork. Just let us know on Twitter what you guys would like to see or in the Facebook group, which we have also. Thanks to obviously to Mr. Dr. Muffin. Thanks to people getting the word out. I think E-L-L-I-M-E-M says he is going to get an mbmbam tattoo. If that happens, don't do that.

Please, please, please, please don't do that. What? Definitely do that. I promise. That's a two out of three vote. Two to one. We are going to get bored. We are going to get bored with doing this in three weeks

and it will never happen again. People will be like, what's that random string of letters on your forearm mean? And why is it so big? Why is it so, so big? Now the only counterpoint with this, get it, pussy. Thanks to Griffty176. He wore his mbambam t-shirt to the Spam Museum,

which is magical. And thank you to everybody who follows us and tells other people to listen. And get a friend to listen this week. Make him a CD. That's your homework. That's your homework. Get one friend to listen.

And the same with the past couple weeks. If you have an mbmbam listening party, let us know and we'll record an intro for your first meeting. So you can welcome everyone. So just let us know what it's going to be, your email, that kind of thing. Your first meeting gets a message. Your 10th meeting gets a message.

Your 20th meeting and so on. And so on. Your 100th meeting, you get a special podcast, full length. Yeah. Yeah, you do. I think you can promise that. If you throw 100 parties. That'll be like 30 years in the future.

Yeah, like 150 years in the future. But mad shout outs to John Nugent and Jeff Mondlock. Still the only, now the only official mbmbam fan clubs. We might have another one at the, I believe it's the the pier head in the, in Galway, Ireland. Can you believe that? That's like a world away. I refuse to believe it.

But thanks to James Scott for spreading the word there. And so that's the show. Subscribe on itunes for recent itunes. Thank you so much for listening. Yeah. And you can follow us on Twitter. It's just our names. Justin Travis Griffin McElroy.

So Griffin, hit me. It's this one was sent in by Cal. It's a question that is by Yahoo Answers user Ravenface, who needs to know, absolutely has to know, can a man knock out a gorilla using only hand-to-hand combat? How am I going to break to this? I'm Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy.

I'm Griffin McElroy. This has been my brother, my brother, me. Kiss your dad's school wear on the lips. You will never know me. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.