My Brother, My Brother And Me - My Brother, My Brother and Me 39: Peepum's Nastygum

Episode Date: January 24, 2011

If the focal points of this episode were represented in stock market terms, then you might want to sell your shares in "providing any legitimate wisdom or advice," and buy up all the "taking cheap shots at Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2" that you can get your hands on. Suggested talking points: Scoop up the Bute, A Little Bit of Zatarain's, Three Snorks, A Musical Mystery, Together/Alone, Grandpa Names, Through the Yarn, That Hudson Heat

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby? Like the Chilean miners, emerging at us, that out every week. Like Chilean miners. Is that a reboot? Is that what this is? Are we refreshing the franchise? This is just celebrating the hard-working miners of Chile. This isn't like about anything, I'm just glad that they're there.

Yeah, my spring break's coming up too. You want to maybe go to Chile? Maybe we should go chill on the beaches of Chile. Chilean miners emerging from a mine, we've returned for another week. You know, a lot of people like that when I did it right after those famous guys came out, so I thought, what if I brought it back? I mean, Chilean miners are still coming out of mines. They haven't stopped, I hope. Right? I mean, they're going in there getting butane and gold. They're getting butane? They go down there with just plastic shopping bags, and they just scoop up the butane. So we're back for a second run on the Maxfun Network. Thank you so much for rejoining us. This is my brother and my brother and me,

an advice show for the modern era. I am Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. You're going to pry that Chilean miner a bit from my cold, dead hands. But again, we've reemerged. Second week on Maxfun Network, the response from you guys was so, so nice. Really meant a lot. If you haven't been to the forums yet over at Maxfun, there's a lot of good discussion both in BNBAM and in BNBAM non-related. So move over there and there's a thread, a new Maxfun podcast. My brother, my brother, and me, you can introduce yourself, say hi. But everybody's getting acquainted there. Let's get acquainted here with some wisdom.

Let's go with our first question. What do you guys say? Just get into it, right? Get deep. My friends keep on telling me that if I don't go to my senior prom, I'll regret it. Personally, I don't care for dancing and wasting money. Is this one of those things I'll regret not doing when I'm old? Anti-footloose Gmail. I actually made up that name because they didn't attach one and I really wanted to talk about footloose. Oh, good. Oh, good. What a good challenge. This show's become a construction. It's just- Isn't that, isn't that perjury? Isn't that what that is? Isn't that illegal? I don't believe so. No, but I think it's definitely about the ritual. It's not inherently fun,

but you'll be kind of a lonely heart, I think, if you don't go, right? You have to go. You have to go. Yeah. The thing is, this is that future President 10th time travel thing. Look to the future 20 years from now. You don't want to be the person that says, oh, no, I didn't go to my senior prom because everyone you tell that to will go, oh, why not? You have to go. It's part of your growing up. It's part of life. There's got to be a girl you can ask. There's always a girl. I know you don't like wasting money and dancing, but you'll be surprised how little of the dancing you'll actually do. And it's not a waste. It's like a traditional, I don't know.

Well, most importantly, you only get one shot at it. It's not like, well, I don't want to go now. I'll try and get in five years. This is your only chance to go to your senior prom. It's a good point. That's actually a common misconception, Travis. You can keep going to high school dances after you have left that particular educational institution. Which reminds me, we do need to wrap this show early. I need to get over to Skeffington's to pick up, pick up Mateos. Yeah, it's going to be rough. It's going to be bad. You're not going to have a, I can't think. I don't know. I never looked forward to my formal dances whenever I was, whenever I was in high school. I actually almost skipped one because I was going to go stag.

But instead, I would just stay at home and I played EverQuest for most of the night. I mean, it was right after the Dungeons of Neurath expansion came out. So, like, you know, I had a lot of fun playing. Sure, sure. Yeah, I had to get an art. But I did end up going, you got to pay the money. It's just, you got to pay your dues. And maybe, you know, you'll rub your wiener on a butt to hip hop music. There's an exchange there. It is a trade off. But yeah, you'll regret it if you don't go years from now, maybe not immediately. But, and it won't be like, it won't be fun, but at least I'll have been there. And you can lie about it later and say, it's also really good excuse to ask somebody out if you've been trying to

work with the nerve because everybody needs a date. Everybody wants to go solo. So, so take advantage of that and pray on their desperation. What should I do about a girl in my class who's a terrible buzzkill? She always inserts herself in everyone's conversations and ruins the fun by talking about her divorced parents, human trafficking or 9-11. Was that good? You like a little chuckle? I think that person would be awesome. A little chuckle from 9-11. Good, good. I just, I'm trying to imagine that conversation. It's like, do you guys want to go to Chipotle for lunch? And you maybe want to hit up Panera. Hey, by the way, that reminds me, 9-11. I remember the last time,

I remember the last time I went to Chipotle. It's when my divorced parents sold me into slavery. If I remember correctly, it was September 11th. Have a good, have a good burrito. Enjoy. Enjoy your meal. Sorry, I didn't mean to bummer all over your chips. What is it? Did you get the spicy aioli? That's nice. You know who loves that? Osama bin Laden. He gets it in his beard. Are you gonna get vegetables? I'll tell you about a vegetable. I know. I remember Terry Shiveau. Terry Shiveau. No, it's not. It's not time for the Shive to come back on it. No, not that. Man, jump the gun a little bit there. A little bit. But somebody's gotta push

into the light, right? Somebody's gotta determine how long, you know, the deadline is on stuff like that. I would say push them. I'd let that one simmer for like another six months. I would say you gotta try to trump them. No matter how dark they go, you've gotta go darker. Like divorced parents go Batman. Just talk about that, parents. They won't see that coming. Push them into a darker place until you're bumming them out and maybe they'll get the message. I have a way better idea. Oh, good. Yeah. Better than bring up Terry Shiveau? No, no. It has nothing to do with that. Why don't you learn to play and then constantly carry around a cornet or a small trumpet and just carry it

around and anytime she opens her mouth to say literally anything, just start playing like a happy little like St. Louis jazz number. Just like a little bit of Zadirans. Like just get in there, like right in her face and just like like nobody can speak, first of all, or be sad. Yeah. When I hear that. It could be sad. That's an interesting point you just made about about this is super aid sweep across Africa. I'd like to counter with some Zidako. Everybody bustle in. So either super dark or super light. Griffin, do you have a Yahoo for us that we a Yahoo Answers request? Sure. Sure. Sure. I have a few. How about this one? It was sent in by Jonathan Bartram. Thank you, Jonathan Bartram. It's by Yahoo Answers user

Dr. Know-It-All who asks. It's an ironic. It's an unfortunate name for Yahoo Answers. I've been sold a false bill of goods here. Dr. Know-It-All asks. If you lived on a beach and overnight, all the sand miraculously turned to cocaine, what would you do? Dr. Blow-It-All, that's not just a mistyte. Well, snow angel, right? Blow angel first. You make an angel in that sweet, sweet coca, but that seems pretty obvious. Coca castles? Well, I think the first thing I would do is contact the Pope and say there's been a miracle. Yeah. Coca miracle. First, alert the authorities. I can't you can't take any chances with this. It just seems dangerous, right? Like it just seems like

dangerous. Like kids could wander in there and just get yeah. Because if I know one thing about the beach, sand gets everywhere. Hey, what about the what about some some answers? What if I just read someone a special help that. Yeah, what do people say? Steven Adler says clean the beach. What? Seems like it'd be pretty tough. It's all cocaine. Just get in there with a fucking Swiffer wet jet and get all the cocoa. Alessa says die of cocaine overdose. That's a pretty good plan, I guess. Two people rated that answer is good. Cool. Pretty good answer. It is the apocalypse. You might as well wrap it up. I mean. Holy Phoenix. Holy Phoenix said get rod the fuck out.

Wait, what? Excuse me? Get rod. How'd you spell that for me? R A W E D. He went ahead and he took the word raw. Just extended. And he done he done verbed it. So get rod the fuck out. I how raw are you right now? I'm pretty raw. I have been sniffing this beach for a half hour. You know what it irritates me is when you see the dealers out there dumping huge bags of flour. It's like gift horse in the mouth, you know, like you're still gonna cut it. Come on, man. Is that baking soda? What are you doing? Just bag it up and sell it. It would decrease the market value, though. That would be bad for dealers, I think, if there was a coke beach.

Yeah. I mean, there are a few people who are suggesting a little bit of profiteering. I don't know. How are you gonna sell that? Hey, I have some beach here. Will you pay me for it? I think I'll just go to the beach. Thanks. There might be some shark's teeth in there, so a little bonus for the kids. They're all rotting down in nubs. Dr. House says roll up a $50 note and have a snorkel. Let's just get a little. Oh, you you still take bumps of coca? Not me. I take snorkels. I just I just did three snorks. I'm tripping out my mind. You tripping? You tripping on coke? The greatest mind of our generation says, well, there's enough to experiment,

so instead of snorning it, we add some Kool-Aid and then make an enema. What? How does that thought process work? What I love that that seems to imply that he's often thought and I would love to have a coke enema, but I just don't have enough. Yeah. I don't have enough to experiment with. I think you gotta get out there for a coke ball fight. Just mixing them up and toss them at each other. Build a coke man. That seems like it. That would be fun for about 35 seconds. And then I mean, I haven't done I have never done the coca, so I don't know like how quickly it sets off, how quickly it activates within you. But I imagine that it's pretty quickly, especially when you're, you know, having a good time bouncing around throwing

coke balls at each other. You should come over to my house. It's the home of the world's coolest beach whale. Come check him out. He's a fun guy. He sits up there asking if how into Mark McGrath you are. His blowhole is just so crusty and like terrible to let that. It's closed up. Mark McGrath? Mark McGrath, huge coke head. Mark McGrath, I bet. I don't know. I don't know either. That's the sugar. That's the sugar, right? Sugar Ray? Yeah, he said sugar Ray. What's good? I don't know good coke music. What's what's coke music? I can't imagine that Jack Johnson is too low on that list. It seems like a cokey band, doesn't it? Like Sugar Ray seems cokey. Well, I mean, everybody's seen that video,

right? Where Mark McGrath is like walking into some bar and some like 12 year old kid yells sugar gay at him and he like flips the fuck out and like gets in the kid's face and like just takes a bite out of him. What? That's the weirdest music video I've ever heard of. He takes a video bite out of a kid? He bites him? I mean, he doesn't he doesn't literally take a bite out of him. I was speaking figure he got up in his grill. You know, I don't appreciate that. Sugar gay. That's pretty good, though. Should we talk about because I this is going to interrupt the flow and I apologize for that, but I have my reasons. Last night, something big happened to the world. A baby was a baby was born, not a literal one. Well, a literal one probably was born somewhere. We have to yeah,

just statistically, but we had nothing to do with that baby. No. Or did we? Or did we? Get the blood test done? I'm speaking of course about Rocky Horrors. My brother, my brother and me mixtape available now for kids of all ages. We'll have a link like in the post for people to download it for free. It is the freshest thing ever recorded by mankind. We should put it on the maximum fun blog too, right? That's what I was that's what I was talking about. Do you think I still use our old website? How goes 1.0? It's it's it really is super fresh. Rocky Horrors did a great job with it. And I think like if there's ever like a lull in this episode, maybe I can like just spice in like a few seconds of a track. There's there's samples online and people can get it. It's for

free, right? You just get it is for free. No problem. Not surprisingly, my favorite track on there is a track called Travis Was Right. That's a don't ruin the surprise. That track is fresh. I won't say anything, but the album has maybe the happiest I've ever been. The album has an arc to it. It has a narrative. It is a narrative. Yeah. There's a there's a nice they call them chill downs at the end. There's a chill down, right? This is the call. There's a chill down. There's a chill back. There's a beat flip, which is I like that one. He does like two beat flips. And I'm impressed. He drops that bass so heavy low and like that's probably my favorite part of the album. I uh, we should just make this show about a dance dance hall dance hall tech techno dance

techno dance. Is that the genre? It's techno dance, right? That's perfect. We can do like an instructional thing so we can like talk about your your best techno techniques. Like that when you drop that bass so heavy low, right? That's important. There's a dance there's a dance move associated with that so we can say like when it's time to drop that bass you gotta like twist your heels outwards and drop your knees down a little bit. Yeah. And like shake two fingers to the floor like you're telling it no. And then like we'll tell people to do that and then we'll put on a clip of the mixtape like right now. And people can like get their people can get their their learn on. Yeah, I think that this could

be really super instructional. So are you saying that our podcast could become a vehicle for us to mention new music that we discovered in the world? Oh no. Oh no, I know where this is going. Say that one of the three of us discovered a mystery CD titled Fart Touch and we played that song and it was magical. Now what? Travis sends us this email that says I found a CD called Fart Touch. No, no, no. This is a much more mysterious event. I'm going through my CDs and Teresa's CDs and we discovered this CD simply titled Fart Touch. Neither one of us has any idea where this CD came from. Neither one of you will admit to having any idea where the CD came from. Gotcha. Yeah. At any point did you put this CD in your computer? It took me four days of just walking

by as we're cleaning up the house saying things like and where should we carefully store Fart Touch? And eventually I was like fuck it. I have to find out what's on the CD and discovered a song strangely called Fart Touch. Imagine that. It's perhaps the greatest song I've ever heard in my life. And here's the clip. I have literally listened to that song nine times in the last two rounds. Let me ask you though Travis, did you put the CD in your computer to listen to it? I imagine that you did, right? Yes, I did. Okay. This is where you get viruses and shit. If I saw a piece of digital media that had the words Fart Touch scrolled upon it, I wouldn't want to know what's on there. I certainly wouldn't want to subject my computer's hard drive to it.

You learned so much about your brothers doing a weekly advice show with them because if I saw something called Fart Touch, the signal would not be able to get from my eyes to my brain to compute that it said Fart Touch before my finger would be on the open button on the computer. I would have already be loading it just as my brain was like Fart Touch? I couldn't get that in fast enough. Are you kidding me? Fart Touch? I'm there. Yeah, of course, naturally. I think that says a lot about us though because you two seem to take more risks than I do. You see a Fart Touch CD and you just jump right for it. You know that a ship in Harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are for. They're for sailing to the open seas and

finding Fart Touches. I'm on the SS Fart Touch and I'm out there for adventure. You two's biggest risk was recording Fart Touch, I think. We've not given advice for a little while. I think we gave some pretty advice by association to listen to Fart Touch. I think it's pretty good, pretty good nugget of wisdom. I've been with my girlfriend for three and a half years now, but for the past year she lived in different cities, so we had to go do the long-distance thing. I'm planning on proposing soon and after that she's going to be moving back to my city. The problem is I've gotten incredibly used to this long-distance relationship. I got a daily routine of work, taekwondo, dinner, and then playing games all night. When we were still in the same city, we didn't live together,

so I still have my personal space where that's obviously going to change. Do you guys, except Griffin, sorry buddy, find it hard to juggle your personal time and your significant other. For Love or Starcraft, The Muffin. See, I just double down on my taekwondo time. I just more taekwondo. Yeah, yeah, I take my love, my love cavity and I just fill it with taekwondo. I'm going to hit you with something, the muffin that's going to kind of blow your mind a little bit. I was in the same boat you were, like for a long time because I've always been super into to me time, to Justin time. The time that you spend by yourself is important,

and I think you should still try to get that time, but keep in mind that the time you spend by yourself playing video games, for example, taekwondo and it's not a great example because it's helping you be fitter, but playing games all night, that is without context. It's time that it doesn't really edify you. You're the only one that it affects, and time that you spend with your significant other has context. It has value, is that what you're saying? Yeah, it's not value less, but it's about finding a balance. You've got to find a balance between the two. You can always play video games. You can always do that stuff, but it's about finding a balance between the two. Of course, it will change. Everything will change when you move in

with someone and you live with someone, especially when you marry someone, but change for the better. If you find it changing not for the better, it's as simple as having a discussion and saying, hey, I really love spending time with you, but I do need some me time here and there. No girl will ever understand that. Sorry, that won't work. Well, she probably enjoys her me time, too. It's worth a shot, but I don't think that any, I mean, maybe she does. Maybe she will enjoy the me time. If she is a very not me time person, though, if you're like, I need some space, then it's not going to go well. I don't think. Okay, well, how about this idea? Me time together. Yeah.

Like you play video games while she reads a book, but you're together. You're in the same room. You're hanging out, but you don't have to be like constantly staring into each other's eyes for hours. I like you a lot. I want to be together alone. Can we do that? I want to be with you, but not with you. You sit over there. You sit over there, you do your crossword puzzle and you drink your tea. I'm going to be over here practicing Macquan. I'm just getting my quan on. I'm getting my quan on. Do me a favor. Tyquan, don't talk to me for the next hour or so. Can we work that out? Just anything. Do anything else. You could try to get her hooked on something super addictive.

Take her out to Coke Beach. You won't see her for days. But yeah, I mean, it's just a balance and it is going to change. But remember that, yeah, that's quality time. You'll find interest that you share. But it is. You're right. It's a huge adjustment. If it's too hard, get single again, man. Chuck it. Chuck it back to the sea. Forget about it. Get out the way, bitch. Griffin, you know what I need. This one is sent in by Curly Head Poet. Thank you, Curly Head Poet. It's by Yahoo! Answers user Amy who asks, oh man, does anyone know of any

other grandpa names? Oh, no. It can't listen to the parameters, please. Okay, all right, all right. It cannot be Poppy, Grandpa, or Pop-Pop. Gramps sounds like cramps. Don't go there. Don't. Don't eat. Additional details. And please, no names in other languages. This is America We Speak English. Did she say that? Awesome. Awesome. That's awesome. No. Definitely awesome. Amy, cool. Any P-Vowel P sound? Yeah. You can, you're fine, like Pee-Pee. Well, maybe not that. No, not that. No, let's- P-Papo. P-Po, that's good. Poppy. Pee-Pums. As long as there's two P's. Guys, guys, guys, go see your Pee-Pums.

This is my Pee-Pums. Darryl, go see your Pee-Pums. My Pee-Pums always has the hardest, crumbliest chewing gum. Now Darryl, don't you eat Pee-Pums, nasty gum. You know what I have for last time. Pee-Pums, nasty gum, sounds like a product that we should copy right immediately. Oh, God, I just purchased a pack of Pee-Pums old-timey nasty gum. You're still in the juicy fruit? Oh, that's a bitch gum. I'm in a Pee-Pums nasty gum. Fuck your fruit stripes. The thing about Pee-Pums nasty gum is that you have to put the emphasis on a different syllable every time you say it. Pee-Pums, don't you do that.

Oh, Pee-Pums, don't you do that nasty gum. I was just alone with the carrot for it. All right, listen, Pee-Pums nasty gum is obviously the greatest thing any of us have ever said, but let's get this person some much-needed help. I've already decided that Grand Pee-Pums is the best name out there. I like that because you can expand on that. You're gonna have a great Grand Pee-Pums. Without great gum, though, it should be noted that gum's not gonna get any better. What about, what about, uh, Propu, Propa, Propa, Propi, Propi. That sounds like an alien grandfather, Propi. Proteus. I'm Proteus, the Pee-Pums. I'm a Pee-Pums Proteus. Please eat my nasty space gum. Are there any non-Double Pee names that still work? Like, if, for some reason, and this is so

cultural, I guess, but for some reason, when you pull away from Pee's, it doesn't feel like a, a grandpa name. Like, you have to have the Pee in there, right? Well, there's probably some sort of root language explanation there, like, progenitor or paternal. That's maybe paternal. That's something to do with it. I guess granddad doesn't, but who says granddad? That sounds like something you only refer to them as after they're dead. Yeah. This is my granddad. Granddad? That's depressing. Yeah. Um, Prop... What about Masterfather? Whoa! This is Masterdad. I was thinking Masterdad. What if the problem isn't the dad or the pop? But the grand. What if we could switch the grand? No, but think about, think about the one removed, and you can say, this is my great grandmaster dad.

What about progenitor prime? How do you feel about that? How about just Phillip? Like, no one calls him, like, an adult. Yeah, just call him by his name, which is even better if you're, like, six. And he's like, would you like a Werther's? And you're like, um, yes, Robert. I would, uh, I would enjoy a Werther's. Enjoy Werther's. Thank you, Robert. Thank you. Thank you, Robert. Uh, gum? No, I don't think so. I prefer not to have it. The Werther's will keep, sir. I'm like, you're nasty gum that I believe you retrieve from a package of baseball cards circa 1987, Peepums. What if we did it, what if we did it like Japanese math, and we just called him, like, daddy dad? Or dad dad,

just like, expand it to whatever power. That would, I feel like that would be a much shit. I just revolutionized the whole fucking system. Like, what if we, what if we got rid of all these arbitrary titles and we just, like, expanded it based on how they actually relate to your nuclear family? Do you understand what I'm saying? Yes. Like, your cousin, your cousin will be your, like, your dad's sister son. So you want to de-simplify the language instead of one word, like, cousin? No, because who the fucking keep cousin straight? Like, especially once you get to, like, second or third cousins, like, who knows? Like, who knows? It's very nebulous. I'm saying we simplify the entire thing, and we just, we just go, dad's sister brother, or I guess that would be

your dad again. Do you understand what I'm saying, though? Uh-huh. I do. It's just, like, so terrible of an idea. I don't want to encourage you more. Like, like, it's, the one thing I was thinking is, I talk about my extended family in public too much. I wish there was some way to complicate it, to keep me from bringing them up all the time. Ah, I know. Dad's sister brother. Would you call them that to their face? No, I would call them by- This is my, this is my mom brother. His name is Tom. This is my mom brother, Tom. Peepham's nasty gum. I just want to get that out there one more time. It's too bad the mixtape just came out, because I feel like we could get an entire

selection out of Peepham's nasty gum. My wife started knitting four years ago, I'm sorry, I misread it. My wife started knitting four years ago, and that was all fine and swell, until she started wearing her creations. How can I tell her that I don't like it when she wears these creations without hurting her feelings? That's from hip hobo. There's nothing hip about being inconsiderate. Oh, wow, burn. I don't like it when you wear that sweater. That, you know what? It doesn't matter if she made it or not. That's not your call to make. You should never say that. Don't ever say that. Unless, unless she's really bad at knitting. You can see through it and you see all her things. Unless we have underestimated her terribleness at knitting. Hey listen, I like

that she's a terrible knitter and you can like see. It's like, I like your sexy shirt, but I can't have you wearing that in public. Is that sexy? Sexy, if you can see like, like through the yarn, see some nippo? I guess. I don't know, maybe. I've never. You can see your hungry, hungry nippos? And like sitcoms. I don't think it happens in real life. You don't do it. Ask to borrow. Ask to borrow her stuff and then lose it. No, because she worked hard on that. Don't be a guy. No, that's no. No, no, don't take Travis's path of least thought. You should, you should like, just keep it to yourself. Dude, it doesn't matter. Trust me. There's no situation in which your distaste for her clothing is going to be like harder to handle than just her scorn. Just her decent.

I have it. Is that men's scorn? I got it. Oh good. No, I figured it out. Really good this time, right? It's not going to be, is it burn it? Because that's not going to fly with it. Nope. No, this is a good one. Encourage her to sell her creations. Whoa, whoa. Then she can't wear them because she's got to sell them. From downtown. Travis, yeah. Why are you wearing money? You're going to stay in that where we won't be able to make a living off of it. Take that off right now and never wear it again. Sell it. eBay it. Do you think Etsy actually got started when some husband was like, dude, that scarf, are you serious? I can't wear that. Let's just go ahead and give that one to Internet and. Yeah, now you get, man, Travis, I'm sorry for doubting you. That's a slam dunk. You should

tell her to sell it, but sell that one. You have to say this one is very special. I think you should sell it right now. You've already worn it and you've filled it with your memories. Now let's go ahead and give it to the world. Let's sell your memories on Etsy. Ask her to knit me something. I've only had knit things for me one time. I only have one knit thing. Somebody knit me a a Peepham's nasty gum toboggan. I would just want a Peepham's nasty gum koozie. Yeah, to keep your Peepham's nasty gum warm. I want a nasty gum holster. A knitted nasty gum holster. Are you just that slick? Rick, he's the slickest nasty gum dealer in the West. You look at him wrong. He'll throw two pieces of nasty gum in your mouth. I feel like I'm worried because we obviously

had a lot of nasty gum in our youths because we had grandparents that handed out nasty gum, but I'm worried that not everybody got to experience the nasty gum phenomenon. I'm pretty sure this is a universal thing. It's like for those who didn't receive nasty gum from their parents or their grandparents, it's like it's like the gum that comes in like top baseball cards packages. It's just crumbly ass terrible nasty gum. Yeah, you take a bite out of it and it shatters and disintegrates into a million pieces. I can't feel like nasty gum communicates the whole experience like it's nasty gum. In fact, I feel like we're actually siphoning a little bit of magic away from the word. Yeah, you'll edit this out later, right? Yeah, okay. Is calling someone a

nerd considered an insult? I've called my BF a nerd on several occasions, and he thinks I'm downing on him, but come on. His favorite things are video games, Star Wars, and bacon. Please help a girl out. I don't have a problem when people call me a nerd or when people call other people a nerd, but when people call themselves a nerd. Oh, yeah. Oh, I get I get the strongest douche chills. Yeah, it's pretty bad. I feel the same way when people call themselves a jock. Yeah, it's like anybody who just got it bugs me so forwardly just like picks a label and is like, I am slut. What's up? Yeah, or when it's, you know, the one that bothers me, regional. I'm an Arkansas girl. What do you want? Oh, fuck you. Yeah, seriously. That is so New York. I feel like we've

got my topic. Okay, you know, when you take your coffee out of the grinder and it's all stuck in there. Yeah, now we're showing them. You know, if he considers it an insult, that's the, I guess that's the, I mean, like, if you know that, and you keep saying it, then yeah, I think you're participating in this. I don't think you can claim ignorance too long. I can't formulate a sentence in which calling someone a nerd is a compliment. Like, you're such a great nerd. Yeah, even when you say it with like the best intentions, you're still being a little condescending, I think. Yeah, you're putting someone, you're labeling someone and that's never, that's never. You're you're basically saying the things you care about are not significant or important to the

large, the larger tapestry that is our world. My advice to your boyfriend, next time Elisa says you're in her, look her dead in the eye and say, I prefer to think of myself as Otaku, then wait for it to leave you. You'll never have that, you'll never have that problem again. Solved. I'm literally shivering right now. I know, I am Otaku. I prefer. That would be awesome. I wish we, hey, I don't know who your boyfriend is, but I wish we could give him advice instead of you, because we would tell him to just like double his nerdiness quotient. Double down, make your kid smoke and double down. Just double down and like start listening to nothing, eating nothing but Jpop. Like just listen to the weirdest Japanese pop you can find, do a little cosplay, get really

into steampunk. Did I make something since when is bacon nerdy? I think bacon's nerdy. I think we've been, I think bacon is nerdy. Bacon went around the bed. Yeah, sorry. I mean, oh, you're still, you can still be on bacon, like you can still like bacon. What do we have time for? Got another yahoo on the docket? Yeah, sure, sure. This one was sent in by Cal. Thank you, Cal. It's by a who answers user the Christ puncher. Okay, cool, cool. Okay. The Christ puncher asks, what is a good quick way to make money from my dog? My dog is expensive. Usually we just feed her table scraps, bits of hamburger, onion rings, fries, extra ketchup packets, etc. Wait, what? Excuse me? But things are getting tight financially

around my house and we need every family member to pull their own weight when it comes to expenses, even food. My dog is pure bread and not fixed. I was wondering how much I could make from a litter of puppies and how long they take to gestate. If this isn't a good idea, some suggestions on other ways for my dog to start earning money would be appreciated. I think you should just make him find his own ketchup packets, right? How, how fucking tight is it getting when you can't give your dog table scraps anymore? You just don't have them. You give your toddler a bone to gnaw. Hey, get the onion ring. I'm eating all of these. I mean, the quickest, easiest option, I guess, would be to turn him into a celebrity dog, right? Like get him as young features. I hear

that George Lopez has started casting for Beverly Hills Chihuahua too. Justin, give me a sex title for that movie right now. Well, you're not aware that that movie already exists. Does it really? Yeah, I shit you not. I don't think it's true. To the Google. Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Oh my fuck. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. It's out. It's out on Blu-ray. So you could get your, you could get Beverly, get your dog in Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3? Can we stop the show? Trace, Trace Perros. Oh, Ernie Hudson was in that film. Good. Oh, good. Like Ernie Hudson didn't have an edge to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Ernie Hudson and Olivia Newton, John. That's a tour de force.

Oh, fuck. Were you out in theaters over the Hills Chihuahua too? Did Gilo make time for that one? Oh, man. Tell me. French Stuart was in the mix. Oh, French Stuart makes me so sad. Not funny. Open your eyes, French Stuart. See where your life is headed. Stop squinting, stupid. You're running into oblivion. Open your eyes, your agent is a fax machine. Get out of there. Stop squinting, you bastard. Ah, stupid French Stuart. I miss that guy though. He probably is a listener. Dear my brother, my brother and me. I tried to cry when you said those wee things, but I can't because I'm always squinting.

Love, French Stuart. I want to go make Inspector Gadget for a rich little door. Oh, bitch. I received you. I want to punch the squint right out of this stupid face. Oh, god. This coffee is strong. It is wire now. I'll punch French Stuart in the face. Tell me if George Lopez was in Beverly Hills, Chihuahua 2 or not. Oh, fuck yeah. Of course he was. Did this come in theaters? In fact, I don't think that I'm almost certain it didn't. I don't think that George Lopez like arranged it in any way. I think he probably just did one of the voices, but I like to imagine him as the puppet master. No, I like to imagine that they just record him

saying things in his day to day life and work it into a film. Yeah, definitely. And French Stuart's like, no, I can work with this. This is good. Yeah, I'll pass the salt, George. Like, it's, it's, god, man, I do hate French Stuart. He depresses me though, because he was, he was so good. And if you looked at French Stuart and Joseph Gordon Levitt on Third Rock and said, which one of these do is going places? I wouldn't have guessed Joseph Gordon Levitt, but there he is. Making it big, making it huge. He accepted the hell out of that movie. I seriously like my, my fucking drive to do the show, to do the show anymore is totally gone. Like when you guys were talking for the past couple of minutes, I just was, I was just

reading this IMDB page. For French Stuart, for, for, for a Chihuahua dose. For Bev, for Bev too. For Bev too. Is there any ratings? Are there any user reviews? Can we advise people on whether or not they should see Chihuahua too? It's actually not out yet. Okay, thank god. Yeah, yeah, it's, it's got a release date of February 6th. I'll be there. I'll be there. Oh god. It says France on the page. No, no, no, French. French. French Stuart. It's a common misconception. None of this is usable. No, this is usable material. What? For the show? Yes. Or for life. French Stuart, you're not even doing it. I knew we could all learn something from French Stuart. That's probably what director Alex Zam said when he went over the final cut of Beverly Hills Chihuahua

too. French to the Zamster. Listen, we gotta get these contracts. I want you as squint to the squinting. I want you as squinting the seeing eye dog. They'll be rolling in the aisles. Did you say, did you say rolling? They'll be rolling in the aisles, French. It'll be a laughter unlike you for years. Oh, see. That's it. That's it's IG too. That's it. That's what you're going to do. Now, I'm not the only one with French Stuart's IMDb page open right now, I think. Are you kidding? I know that from heart. I know. I know French Stuart's history. Third Rock, IG two, Chihuahua, Dose. I know his whole thing. Unemployment. Six months. Unemployment. Considering suicide last three years. Well, it actually says all of this on his IMDb page too,

which is weird. Well, he updates it himself. What the fuck else is he going to do? He has this keyboard with the giant keys on it because he can't see that. Well, obviously he's squinting all the time. Where's the G? I've turned the corner. I feel bad now. I feel bad for French Stuart now. I'm going to next week all pro French Stuart material. It's guaranteed. We haven't not answered a question as hard as we can answer that question, I think in the history of the show. It's the hardest non-answer that we've ever given. Let's do one more real one before we get out of here. I finally convinced a friend to join the MBNBAM nation. So this question is for her benefit.

I've recently moved from NYC to Ohio and is now being inundated with WangPix from guys that get her number now and from several internet friends. She's shy and swears she is not soliciting them in any way. What can she do? T-Rex. Wait. What? I don't understand this question. Excuse me? She moved from New York to Ohio and somewhere in that- She passed some cell phone tower. There is some tower that relayed her phone number to Wang Mailers everywhere. To this shadowy organization. What I love is this is not one or two WangPix. She's being inundated with WangPix. Just flooded. Just flooded with constant and embarrassment of dick shots. I am rolling at it. She could jump like Scrooge McDuck into her

big mountain of Wang pictures. I don't know. I'm not familiar with enough cell phone technology to understand how this could happen to somebody. I guess she could always get her- she could disable picture messages. Is that a possibility? No. We need to go deeper in this because I understand sending the wrong signals to one, maybe two guys. What is she doing? What if there's- what if someone- an ex-boyfriend that she left high and dry in New York wrote on a wall like- Oh, that has to be it. It has to be- I heart WangPix.com. Yeah, I need your dick pics. Send them to me. Yeah. And when you need something, it's a responsibility. I think there's a lot of things

you can do with this, but my solution is you take those dick pics and you forward them to other people who are sending you dick pics. You- you just- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like someone sends you a picture of a dick and you send them back a picture of somebody else's dick. No, no, no. You send them 50 pictures of dick. Oh, I love it. You're gonna make your- you're gonna make your kids smoke and give them 50 pictures of dick. Hey, do you like dick pics so much? Let me give you some in return. Or every time someone sends you a dick picture, just text back. I sent that to your mom. They won't- they won't know what hit them. Or, uh, maybe she doesn't- maybe since you're friends with girl, she probably loves it.

Because what girl wouldn't love that, right? It's like, uh, she's- just pictures of wieners every day. That's what girls crave, right? Like that- No, it's the crazy crimes that girls crave. I- I totally, totally agree with you there. She can't- it's like a water faucet she can't shut off, but why would she want to? Yeah. Because it's- because the water is dick pics. Yeah, she just wants to wash your hands with dick pics. Uh, yeah, I- I- uh, I feel like we've given you several action- action items ranging from possible to, uh, to whimsical, uh, so- I don't know, I feel like creating a vault of dick pictures and swimming around it. I feel like we- we hit a high point there. Oh, tell her to release a book.

Things- things my wang says. Uh, do a blog, two bit of thumb chicken soup for the wang pics. Eat Pray Wang? Eat Pray Wang! This is my- this is my novelty book. It's a gift book. Eat Pray Wang, $18 at Borders. They're only 60 pages. The girl- the girl with the dragon wang? Why don't you make a- I- I- I think a blog- I think a- make a Tumblr blog, and then just- as soon as they send you the dick pic, you send them back the URL of the blog where you just put the dick pic up. Yep. He'll never see that coming. I want to see your Griffin's last question, but, um, first couple real quick housekeeping things, mbmbam.com is your- is your source? Is your one-stop shop your- your dick pic faucet? Uh, as it were, of mbmbam information,

you can go there to, uh, send us, uh, questions. Our, uh, our email address is there. We've got an automatic form where you can send in stuff. Um, the Magic 8 Ball may be carrying over with us to the new MaxFun site. It may not be, so you might want to get your- your clicks in, uh, uh, today. You will, at some point in the near future, notice that it has switched over to- to MaxFun, but, you know, everything you love will still be there, and we're going to try to do more posts, uh, there on the Mac- on the mbmbam, uh, blog, more stuff from us, just, you know, randomness. Um, you'll definitely- definitely be able to find the- the download link for the- my brother, my brother and me mix tape up on there. Uh, we'll try and get that out right around the show.

Time, release. Uh, showtime release, yes. Um, also go to the forums, uh, MaxMumFun.org, click on forums, and go there and talk about this episode, say how much you loved it, um, and tell- while you're there, check out all their other wonderful podcasts. Oh my god, get down on them. Whoa, that was a very emphatic endorsement. Just stop our podcast right now. Yeah. Yeah. Just stop podcasting us and start- stop podcasting yourself, I guess. Um, I see I turned that around. I heard it. It's good. It was good, right? Uh, not too much, not too much. Uh, but yeah, thank you guys so much. The response from- from you new MaxFun folks has been absolutely, uh, delightful and positive, and we really appreciate it. Um, if you get a chance

this week, if you heard something funny on the show, you want to tweet about it with the mbmbam hashtag, uh, we love that. It's- I- I have a search that is open an embarrassing amount of time that I am constantly monitoring, uh, and I- and I always appreciate those, and, um, it's a good way to get people interested. I would like to throw out, um, French Stewart, if you are listening. Oh, so sorry. Ah, it's so, so sorry. Um, big fans, just big fans. Huge fans. Uh, who was out there this- when myself, uh, w-y-n-n-e myself, uh, out there, he just listened to his first episode. He started at E1, uh, Meg Balls. Out there. Should have done that. Now, shouldn't start at one, but- Start at the top and work back and stop at, like, maybe six.

But yeah, this is- this is, uh, this is- this is a lot of fun guys, and thank you to you two, as always, uh, for- for doing the show with me. I really appreciate it. Hey, you're welcome. You're welcome. Hey, Griffin, give me one to grow on. Sure. Uh, our last Yahoo question of the day is not actually a Yahoo question, but a news item from the Beverly Hills Chihuahua II IMDB page. It reads, You wanted it, Beverly Hills Chihuahua II, sneak peek. Hitting DVD and Blu-ray on February 1st, 2011 comes Beverly Hills Chihuahua II, the sequel to your favorite film of 2008. Was it? You asked for more and you got it,

and I have a four-minute and 49-second sneak peek for you directly below, but be careful. February is two months out. Maybe only watch this one in one minute interval, so you don't burst from anticipation. Who's in this one? Well, they were able to get George Lopez back to lead- to voice the lead Chihuahua puppy. The same can't be said for Drew Barrymore as the voice of Chloe, but they got the next best thing. Odette Yusman of You Again fame. What next best thing? Also starring are Zachary Gordon, Christine Lakin, and IMDB even has Ernie Hudson of Ghostbusters fame as part of the cast. Perhaps he saw it as an opportunity to do a little press and try and stir up

more buzz for that much-belly-hood Ghostbusters 3 feature. No one was talking about Ghostbusters 3, but now that Ernie Hudson was in Beverly Hills Chihuahua II on DVD, I really feel like we've got some fucking heat. Like, we're finally heating up. Hi, this is Bill Murray. Did I hear right? Ernie Hudson is in Beverly Hills Chihuahua II? Sign me up. Sign me up. It's got heat now. I want that Hudson heat. I'll do an actual yeah. This one was sent in by Cal. Thank you, Cal. It's by an answer-shooter, Ronnie the MLK of GWS. He asks,

Why is it illegal to steal someone's horse or a parakeet, but it's perfectly legal to steal someone's girlfriend? I'm Ernie Hudson. I'm French dude. I'm also French dude. This is when my brother, me, his dad, scored on the lips.