My Brother, My Brother And Me - My Brother, My Brother and Me: Episode 03

Episode Date: April 26, 2010

Wowza. Put the kids to bed, folks — this particular installment in the MBMBAM archives gets down and dirty with a bit of discussion pertaining to various … bedroom activities. No, we’re not talking about your toenail clipping ritual. No, we’re not talking about your nightly Craig Ferguson viewing. No, we’re not — intercourse! We’re dishing out some real talk about intercourse, and in a completely non-creepy way. For the most part. Except for that one part. You’ll know it when you hear it.Suggested talking points: Moving away from your home town. Secret movie theater back rubs. Living with real-life ladies. Making sweet love to a rollercoaster. Denim: Friend or Faux Pas? Don't forget to stop by our swingin' internet bachelor pad at MBMBAM.com. Also, did you subscribe? You should subscribe.

If you change your mind, on the first in line, Honey, I'm still free. Take a chance on me. If you need me, let me know. Gonna be around. If you've got your place to go when you're feeling down. If you're all alone, when the pretty birds have long money, I'm still free. Welcome, welcome back to my brother, my brother and me. It's an advice show for the modern era. I'm joined, I should not be so presumptive. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. And we are my brother and my brother and me. So let's just get right into the advice. Let's tuck in here. We've got an anonymous question from Formspring. I'm in love with my long distance girlfriend and I want to marry her. Should I quit my job and move to Oregon to be with her? Nope. Nope.

Next question. I'm done. Yeah, that's an easy one, man. That's gonna put a lot of pressure on her, on your relationship, and I don't think you're gonna... Unless. Unless. You're moving to Portland, Oregon. Oh, then it's all right. Is that all right?

It's a fly city, man. I was watching an episode of No Reservations with my boy Tony and, man, they cook some weird shit up in Portland. Is she a weird shit cook? Can you get a job as a weird shit cook? She might be. There's a whole, like, coven of tattooed gastronomes up there who get, like, their favorite cooking instrument tattooed on their body. And then they eat, like, dog eyes and shit. Like, I don't know what they're doing up there in Portland. Oh, yeah. Aren't they the people that meet at each other's house? Yeah, they have these secret... It's like Fight Club, but with cooking and eating dangerous things. I love it.

That's pretty sweet. It sounds like going to Hillbilly Hot Dogs. It is kind of like Hillbilly. I don't think there are any other cities in Oregon, though. I think Oregon, in my mind, is just, like, a vast wasteland with one pretty cool city in the middle of it. So, I mean, I would like to live in Portland. I think if you have the opportunity to move there, you should do it, especially if you love this girl. So, you know what? Flip my answer. Here's my question for the anonymous person asking this question. A, would you move there if she wasn't there? Are you interested in going to the city otherwise?

And also, were you guys in the same area prior to this, and she moved? Right. Did you meet on Myspace? It's basically... If you have been together in the same area before, that's cool. And who am I to say? If you think you've got a real shot with this girl, like, this is really the way it's going to shake out for you, you know, that's the most important thing you can find in the world. So, I say, I mean, you need to try to pursue it, but you've got to make sure you have your situation together before you go, or else it is just going to put too much pressure on you guys. And I really super recommend don't, like, move there saying, baby, I'm going to marry you.

Move there, hang out for a while in the same location, see how that dynamic goes. That's a huge part of it. Yeah, and I would try to, if you can, I would try to get your own, out of the Pacific, that's how they do it. I would try to get your own apartment too, and not skip straight to moving in with her, I would say. We need more info. I can't tell you how to... More info, dude, more info. I can't tell you how to roll in your ship, but... I'll say this, if you want to, do it.

Just do it. You know better than us. This one comes from Dylan via Gmail. It says, Dylan, I got to say, man, for my money, you got to go naked day one. You got to go... Just really get it all out there. Just really, you got to get it out, out, get it out, out there, naked day one. Naked day one, everything I know about...

But then full suit of armor day two. Everything I know about living, cohabitating, as you put it, with a lady friend. I learned from two guys, a girl, in a pizza place. So it sounds like you should be prepared to... That you and all of your male roommates will probably fall in love with your female roommate, at some point or another. But she'll eventually just end up with Nathan Fillion, so you should be... Which all women do. Here's my advice, one word, boundaries.

There has to be set boundaries. Literal boundaries. A firewall. A firewall. Dividing the apartment. So she can put all of her pink shit, her I Love Lucy collectibles, on one side. And it can't encroach on her. Her Wizard of Oz, Chotsky.

Grain of truth. Grain of truth. Who's up next? Griffin, peeling off of the topic. Ram trap. This is a cohabitation issue that you, yourself, Dylan, may soon be dealing with. You do. Anonymous guy moving to Oregon. Ram trap says my girlfriend of over a year gets angry about having maximum magazines in the bathroom.

Sure, it's great to look at side boobs while you're pooping, but I think they're just well-written, clever articles. Maximum. Maximum is the McRoy brothers' magazines. Set better looking and less offensive, at least in my view. Is she wrong to be a dickhead when it comes to my magazines? Or should I remain faithful to my promise to take the magazines only to work Ram trap? It's wrong for you to be a dickhead and call us ugly, which is basically what you just did. Basically what we did.

To be fair, his taste is thrown off because he thinks that Maxim has clever, well-written articles. Yeah, and we're offensive, and we're the offensive ones. No, but good question. Top 20 best topless nude scenes with ladies in them. How to die from article. This is a Maxim your own poop. Here's my suggestion. I'm unnecessarily shortening words today.

My suggestion is to put the magazines under the sink. Yep. Done. Don't put them on the back of the toilet. That's a very convenient place for readables to go, but it doesn't look nice. And also, I'll read a Maxim. I'm not above it, but it doesn't make you look like a classy dude. So maybe hide your Maxims underneath the sink.

Buy some GQs. GQs are classy. Don't come in here with this veneer that you're reading it for the articles. Come on, man. Best places to do it in a public bathroom. You want good quality articles without side boobs that you and your lady friend can both get behind? Get a reader's digest subscription. And here's the thing.

As far as her, she's not saying don't have them. She just doesn't want to look at them, and that's completely fair, I think. Yeah, yeah. Pooping is an intimate thing. That's her time. And she doesn't want you ogling Miranda Care while you're dropping a deuce. That's your time. That's not her problem.

That's not her problem. Her problem is that she has to ogle Miranda Care while she is... Well, ladies don't poop, but while she's in the restroom. Powdering. Powdering. I don't know what they do in there. I think they powder stuff. Powdering.

She's kicked Jones. His wife tells it via Twitter. His wife tells him that you can wear blue shirts with blue jeans, but it doesn't feel right. Help me, brothers. I assume when you say blue shirts, you work it best by. But if you don't, I'm going to go with that's fine. The only time I have a problem with pant shirt combination is when the colors are the same. So tacky pants with pants shirts.

But if it's the same color blue, if it's the same color blue, which would be weird, why are you wearing a denim shirt with denim pants? That's not okay. That's a whole lot of luck. Yeah. That's a whole different choice altogether, my friend. Oh, I'm sorry. Was that from Billy Ray Cyrus?

Is that who we got that last question for? Oh. Tails. What's up? My wife says it's okay to wear blue jeans with blue jean vest and a blue jean hat. And a rat tail. And a rat tail, is that? And also, I'm John Cougar Mellingkamp.

I am John Cougar Mellingkamp. The Cougar. That comes from Google Answers user Danny. Headline. Is masturbation create problem? The question is, is masturbation create problem in future life, in married life? Is the semen is make daily what we eat or not because after masturbation feel very weakness? And is it create problem should I do or not in future?

Is it also, is it also decrease sex power? Oh goodness. Oh my. I want to move beyond the grammar issues because he's clearly not a native English speaker and address some of his very real concerns about his renegotium sex power. He might be a natural born American English speaker, but he's just masturbated so much that he's lost a couple verbs. He's masturbated himself stupid.

Yeah. Yeah. He beat himself silly. Maybe that should be the concern. I'm masturbating my brainstem out y'all. This is the guy, this is the guy that just wrote us about maximum. This is like a before and after. Yeah, exactly.

Well, answer number one is from user Otterlyevil who says excessiveness will make you infertile parentheses flaccid in future. So, I guess it is. That's not true. That's not true at all. Your body's constantly, that's like saying that blowing your nose will cure congestion for the rest of your life. Yeah.

That's, no. That's not the way it works. Yeah. But human beings are basically just seed factories. So, I mean. Right. You're in the clear, man. The only thing you actually have to worry about is sensitivity.

And also, if you're going 9, 10 times a day. You're decreased sex power because you can't, that is a. That's a real thing. That's a thing that you can run out of. If you're masturbating regularly, hold off five days. You can power an entire town off of your one penis. Just with your sex power. Yeah, just with your sex power.

That's the new green movement. The whole town lit up. Do you know what I found out is that, is a thing in, in a, in sperm count is a, if you use your laptop a lot because the, from it can kill your voice. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Can cook them up.

It's soothing sauna for them, but no, it's, it is, it's an oven. Yeah. It's a bad scene. Speaking of sex power. You know, I was reading my Cosmo like I do. It's what I do. And I found some great advice for the ladies. Little something that ladies might like.

From an article called 30 things to do with a naked man. And this suggestion is find his G spot. The hint is a guy's prostate. The walnut sized gland under his bladder is the ultimate magic button to push if you want to blow his mind in bed. Ultimate magic button. To analyze it part way through oral sex or intercourse. Rest two fingers against the swath of skin between his testicles and a.

Stay the fuck away from my whole mind. You mean taint? You mean his taint. You mean his taint, right? It's an efficiency of language issue at this point. You mean his taint. Excuse me, Cosmo. Please don't tell anyone to do that.

Cosmo, my walnut is a temple. And I don't want, it doesn't need any insurrectionists. Nuh-uh. What's your walnut? How's everybody's walnut situation today? It's feeling good. Walnut's fine. Do you guys remember when I went to Bonnaroo and I didn't shower for five days and I got

walnutitis? Here's my question. What actual situation would that be okay in? Like, huh, this is the... Whoa! Whoa! What do you mean walnut? When I went to see a walnutologist about my walnutitis and he checked my walnut, like

still questionable. You know what's weird about that story? Griffin went five days without a shower. Still shampooed every day. Yeah. It was nice. I had lots of aquafina, which I could, you know. I might have my shit up.

Don't touch my walnut. Stay away from the walnut. Don't listen to Cosmo. Um, let's do another one from Yahoo. This one's from Yahoo. Answer, excuse me. Wait, wait, wait. Quick time out before we get to the Yahoo.

If you're, like, sitting down, popping up in Gmail about to tell us that we need to be more free about our walnuts and maybe we should try it. Stop it. I don't want to know. I don't want to hear anything about it. Stop it. What you do with your walnut is your business, friend. Yeah, that's your walnut, not my situation.

I would never do that. But if you want to... I mean, if you want to tell me about it, whatever. Just keep your hands off my walnut. I'll give you guys my personal email. We'll make some shit happen. This one comes from Yahoo. Answer's user, Donald.

It is possibly the saddest thing I've ever seen on the internet. I'm in love. Uh, that was his, that was his emphasis, not mine. I'm in love with Krista from Fern Gully. Are there any websites devoted to her? Oh, God. Oh, God. I mean, we've all been there.

She's a good-looking fairy. Yeah. Yeah. A cartoon fairy. Now, if he had said baddie, I would have understood that. Right. I get that. You know, the problem with Krista from Fern Gully, if you're in love with her, is that

no adult woman is going to satisfy that fantasy for you. I mean, they're just too old, right? They're just too beaten down. They're too big. They don't have the nae yet. They're too big. They don't have the nae of a Krista from Fern Gully. And that's the problem.

You're just not going to find an adult woman to fill that need for you. If you know what I mean. It's tragic, really. Listen, we help everybody on this show. And that means sicko. Just sicko child molester perverts. Sicko peas. Sicko peas.

We do not discriminate. We will help sick pedophiles. And not help them to get better, but help them to just keep it quiet. Have you considered taking up a parent? Oh, goodness. Oh, Gully. Oh. Oh, my goodness, my Gully.

Hey, hey, to clarify, I don't support pedophiles. No. You just help one bitch. But to clarify, guys, if you are a pedophile, stay away from the walnut. I don't care what you are. It's not going to be a cool scene. This one comes to us from our good friend Mitch Dyer via Gmail. He says, my friend needs to leave his dead-end low-paying job and get out of his lame living

situation. He likes the idea of university in my city and would excel in it. But he refuses to leave home for another city because, quote, all of his family is here. He is 22. How do I convince him to sack up, move out, and get his education on? Well, that's a tough one, Mitch. Why? Well, Mitch, I would say that there is, I mean, okay, you only get one shot.

You only get one spin around the globe. And I definitely could see where he would value going to the university, as your people say, in the Great White North. But I don't know. There's a value to having people surrounding you who care about you. I mean, there's a worth to that. And I think you have to accept that worth before you can, you know, you can't blow that off. You can't convince him to do anything if you aren't also accepting that there's value to

that. And I'll say this. As someone who was in a similar circumstance, I graduated college and moved home and didn't know what I was going to do. If I had moved earlier than I was ready to, it wouldn't have been a good situation for me. Like, I wasn't sure what I was going to do. It took me three years to decide what I was going to do.

But once I decided, I was ready to go and I got to move on. So, you know, maybe he's just not ready to do it yet. On the other hand, it also helped that I had people in my life, like Justin and Griffin and our father, who encouraged me to find what I wanted to do and encouraged me to make decisions and move on with my life and not just sit around at home. So, don't let your friend wallow and hang out and do nothing in his dead end job. But at the same time, pushing him, you know, just help him get ready. And we also say he needs to leave.

Not, and that's an interesting word to me because you're not saying he wants to leave. You're saying he needs to leave. And that sounds like your judgment, Mitch. No, no, no. I think some people can legitimately get the blinders on where they can stay and just, you know, be stagnant in a town because they're so familiar with it. Like, just because all of your family and friends are there, just because you move out doesn't, they don't all die, you know?

I agree, but that's not true. Here's the problem with that, Griffin, is I agree, but everyone's definition of success is different. So, why some people might go, man, you got to get out and explore the world and try new things every day. His friend might be completely happy staying in this town and working a job and just being employed and having a family, you know? So, what you should do is you should take that friend out for a night on the town, okay? And at the beginning of the night, hang out with all of his friends and his family, like, for a big family dinner at the Olive Garden. And you have soup, salad, and breadsticks for hours and you just have a great time.

And then at the end of the night, you take him to a local subway and you show him the 55-year-old sandwich technician that's working there. And you say, you want this to be you. It's okay if you do, like, that's your choice. But if you stay in this town, you're going to be a lonely 55-year-old sandwich technician. I think it's sandwich artists. It's more art than technical. Sandwich, sandwich engineer at the subway. Also, Mitch, here's a key point for you, buddy, because we care about you because you're the one riding in. If you convince a friend to move out to the city you live in, you're opening yourself up to a lot of pressure. Yeah, that's all on you to be BFFs.

That's all on you to be as BFF for life. And if you're cool with that, fine, but for life, Mitch. Not just his BFF, but you are replacing his city ambassador. When SD Zhao from Twitter goes to the movies, how the hell is he supposed to know which armrest is his? There's only one each side. Am I lost? Guys, what's the deal? Armrests? I have a great trick that I do. And I'm happy to share this with people. As soon as you get to the movie theater, first thing you do, hit that concession stand, buy a soda,

and then as soon as you sit down, put that soda in one of the armrests. And then if the person next to you has umbrage with that, you just meet their eyes, and you just keep your hand on your soda with your arm on the armrest, and it's yours. I actually have a move that I do where if I sit down and the armrests are already taken, I just wedge my elbows in behind their elbows and smile at them a lot. And then they slowly move their elbows away from mine, and then both armrests are mine. If it's one of the things where the armrests can deploy or be hidden, I think the thing to do is... Put it up.

Instagate, cut it up. Move one, put it up, wink at the stranger. They will more than likely be so happy to put it down. You like in the movie. Let's take turns giving each other back rubs. Hey, my hammies are real tight. I got some tight hammies. No pressure. Can you rub this down for me? No pressure.

Hey, Mitch, you were right. There's a great idea to move here. Can you just give me a quick back rub like Banana would do if we were in a movie together? Because you're my whole system. You're all I've got. I have put all of my eggs in the Mitch basket. So if you could give me a slow rub down. Bring it back. This one comes to us anonymously from Formspring.

It says, I feel like I'm slipping away from all of my friends. We used to have a big thing in common which got us all hanging out together. But now that's gone and I hardly see them anymore. MB, MBAM? How can I say my friendships? Was that big thing like you all murdered someone? It sounds like this guy got pulled along by the Mitch wagon. This is what happens, Mitch. Have you considered uniting over your shared adoration for a podcast?

Say one that featured three brothers giving advice to people just like yourself. I totally understand where this question is coming from. My group of friends was established because we all did community theater when we were kids. But now we have scattered across the country. And it sounds like that's the same thing that's going on there. I think you need to just evaluate. I still consider these people to be my dearest friends. Even though I only see them or talk to them a handful of times every year.

But even every time we do see each other, it's not weird. It's not like, hey man, why haven't you given me a call? It's just a naturally sort of a step. That's a really good point. I have a super close group of friends in college. We're literally hanging out every day. And I think that what you're experiencing is totally normal. We're not built to have a super close group of friends your whole life.

This is sort of how we progress. You have those super close group of friends in college, whatever. And then you grow up, you do the family thing. But they're so important to you. What you have to keep in mind is as an adult, friendships are more work than they were when we were children. Everything was convenient. You're my best friend because you live across the street from me. As an adult, it's all about phone calls and making trips and making plans.

And it's not the same. Lives are different. You grow apart. The important thing is that you work at it. If you want to keep these friends, you make the effort. Don't expect it to be as easy as it was. Call more, use the phone. It's great.

Yeah. A Skype user named DateWives just asked to be added to my contacts list offering me sex with married women. Do you need our advice? I do. That would be great. Is it an internal show advice? Don't do it. Yeah.

How about, no. I went through my, I never used Skype. I went through today in my request. I literally had like 30 hot sex with me requests. And I was like, do I know these people? This is great. But I didn't know them at all. It was awful.

Jesse writes from Gmail. He says, my wife is a very tidy person is always putting my stuff away. Unfortunately, I'm not a slob and I keep my positions well organized. So mostly this entails her rearranging my things in a manner that makes them impossible to find. For instance, today I spent well over an hour searching for printer paper that was previously neatly stacked on top of a shelf in my home office near the printer, but had been put away in a closet in our guest room. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, that would piss me off.

I'm having an evisceral gut reaction to this question. I'm so, so angry right now. That, wow, that would piss me off. Here is, okay, Jesse, I will help you with this. This is something I have experience with. I can guide you. You have to develop boundaries of rooms in the nicest way possible. I have, like, okay, my wife and I got married.

We decided that all my video games would go downstairs to the den, right? Where I have all my older consoles and stuff like that, all downstairs in the den. And we keep our living room, like, relatively media-free. Like, we have the 360 and the PS3 and the cable box and all that jazz. But as far as, like, DVDs, CDs and stuff, not in there, okay? In exchange, I have an office where I have Master Chief's helmet glowering down at me from a shelf because she doesn't move things around in here. This is my area to deal with as I see fit.

And honestly, like, that's the only way you can do it. You have shared spaces. You have her spaces. You have your spaces. You've got to have your own zone where she doesn't interrupt your flow. And same for her and you, if she has some crazy way she wants to keep things, you've got to let that happen. Or...

I would just go two different houses. Two different houses. Two different houses is a thing. You could just... Yeah. Two different ones, maybe. You could not keep any of your stuff in the house and just have it be all of her stuff and then pretend that you don't live there whenever her dad comes around.

Do you know anybody who's tried that strategy before? No, I can't say that I do. This one comes from Yahoo Answers user, no name too. He says, is it strange to be attracted to cheese? And I know this seems like a joke. It seems like a thing that somebody puts on Yahoo to seem weird or quirky. But these answers, man, I'm starting to think it's a thing. Uh-oh.

I'm starting to think that it's like the next foot crush food thing. Foot crush is a thing. Can we address that real quick? Yeah, sure. That's your new tub girl, guys. If you want to really mess somebody up, trick them into... Just search for food crush or feet food crush on YouTube and then link someone you know or don't care about pictures or videos of feet crushing.

It's like a hundred times more disturbing than it should be, right? Find the one with the woman crushing chocolate eggs filled with cream. Oh, God. It's hugely upsetting. It's upsetting not because the act itself is not upsetting. The knowledge that somewhere somebody is having a slow bait to this video. Someone's massaging their walnut in small sensitive circles. That's brutal.

Anyway, cheese, someone says Turrophile, lover of cheese. Totally didn't make that up. Google it. It's a thing. It is a thing. One person named Indian Tiger said, no, it is not strange. Best of luck. Keep smiling.

What? How about you hide your smile if it's derived in any way from sexual cheese pleasure? One person says not at all, especially Swiss cheese. So here's the thing about abnormal psychology. All of abnormal psychology is based on context and maybe in 30 years when everyone's boning down on cheese, it won't be weird anymore. But yeah, it is. Hey, it is.

Griffin, do you remember the story? I think we talked about this like six months ago. The woman who was in love with a roller coaster. Oh, yeah. No, it wasn't a roller coaster. It was like one of those like, swingy rides. What's that called? Objectum sexuality is what that's called.

That's the scariest YouTube video. That's like Tub Girl Prime. That's like some real heavy shit. The thing is, like, what someone was telling me about it, I assumed it was like a sexual thing, the vibration. No, like in love, like romantic, I'm in love with this carnival ride. She loves it. Oh, God, it's awesome.

I made fun of that in a college journalism class, and I got some shit from people who thought I was being insensitive. But nope. Insensitive? What? No. Nope. She's...

Some of us are trying to live in a society. Crazy hooker. This one comes from Stevie D. From Gmail. Sometimes when I'm at a party. That's my bow. The pirate. Watch him swaying. Sometimes when I'm at a party with my friends, we play rock band, and we all take turns singing.

I get really psyched for when my turn comes, because I have super bitchin' pipes, and when I sing Simple Man by Leonard Skinner, it brings the house down without fail. However, sometime between when I grab the microphone and the song selection menu, a change comes over me, and I wind up picking Crush Crush Crush by Paramore. Nice. Granted, every healthy, virile man within a quarter mile is at half-mast by the time the song is over. Arrgh!

Half-mast! But it is still concerning. What does this say about me, and is my concern warranted, Stevie D? Um, I think we can all agree that Paramore rules. Paramore does rule. Agreed. What? Paramore is a...

No, they're a catchy band. Why am I not allowed to love novelty boats at theme parks, but you guys can enjoy Paramore and I run. I love cheese. Well, first of all, the lead singer of Paramore is far more attractive than an inanimate Viking boat ship. Can you imagine what if she was on the mass handle? What if it was her?

Her and Vitamin C on opposite ends of the Viking boat ship. And they're all holding cheese. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And they're all holding cheese. Oh, my God. Can we pause the show for two and a half minutes? Um, no, I don't think there's anything.

I would be more concerned with why your singing voice has an area of effect like gives dudes gay boners. I don't know why that happens. And that's not... That's not like troubling if you're hanging out with a bunch of gay dudes, but if your voice has the power to make people gay, you should probably have consent for it. With real power comes great responsibility, my man. Absolutely.

Absolutely. You're ruining marriages in a quarter mile radius and be careful. Be real careful. Hey guys. Oh, hey Mike. Mike is in Ann Arbor and he's on a flogging Molly kick at the moment. He's taught himself some of the songs on the geek box and trying to decide how best to sing with them.

For those unfamiliar with the band, the lead singer has an Irish accent. The problem is that I do not. When I sing them in American, a lot is lost, but I have tried it in an Irish accent and I'm afraid I'll be making a fool of myself. Oh, don't be afraid. That's exactly what happened. Just embrace it. Go with it.

You could be an American cover band of flogging Molly. I think that there's a market for that. Here's my advice. German accent. I would say learn an accent that is completely different from Irish or... Libyan. Yeah. Oh, I like it.

For some reason, I read this question and it reminded me of Griffin doing Macy Gray. Just embrace it, brother. Just do it. Don't be afraid. I think you have to, especially if you're doing it like an open mic, you've got to emulate that voice because it makes it a lot more... Travis and I have been doing a pretty triumphant rendition of the Proclaimers. I want to be 500 miles and we do the accents.

I think perhaps unconsciously, but we still do them and it adds to the effect. What helps in all seriousness is don't take it seriously yourself. As you're doing the accent, don't try to nail it, especially if you're doing like an open mic night thing. They know what you're doing and you know what you're doing. So just have fun with it. Don't make it a big deal. Unless the person isn't familiar and then they're going to be like, why is that sound

like an idiot? He's a child up there at the microphone. Is that the guy from once? Nope. Nope. There are many... Here's Mike. There are many American songs.

Just find one of those. Save yourself. That's the other thing. Flogging Molly's a shitty band. Whoa. They're no paramour. This one comes from Yahoo! The answer is user...

Oh yeah, really? Your cred's been revoked. This one comes from Yahoo! The answer is user Nikolai. He says...or she says...no, I think it might be. He says, this is under the pregnancy and parenting baby names category. He says, can I name my baby girl Justin after Justin Bieber? Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. I think we should defer to Justin on this one because it's his name and he has dominion over it. I mean, can you? Can you name your baby after Justin Bieber? Yes.

I mean, should you tell anybody? No, probably not. Do you think Mr. Bieber will appreciate it? Like the honor? Why don't you pick somebody more deserving? Why don't you pick a more deserving Justin to name your child after? Someone who's going to give that kid the sort of minute one publicity that a baby's starting out in today's fast-paced, Twitter-based world needs.

Maybe name your baby after like a Justin McElroy, somebody who's going to get the name out there, going to get that baby's, get that baby promoted. Justin McElroy Bieber, Nikolai. I love it. What about Justin McElroy Bieber, and I'll hyphenate my last name, he'll just have me back. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

I didn't know what I was doing. I'm so, so sorry. Please baby, baby, please, please baby, please baby, baby. One more time. I'll tell you one time, Justin, I'm sorry. He shouldn't have said that. It was just a boat, it was just a boat at an amusement park, and there was a client here in the background, and I had a belly full of cotton candy, and I didn't know what

I was doing. I'm so sorry. There was no line, and I just, I saw it there in the reflection of the street lamp, and I thought, yes, yes, I'm a boat man, I'm a boat man for life, and I left you. I didn't go to see you to show, and I'm sorry, Biebs, I'm sorry, why don't you name, why don't you name your kid Viking Fury? That would be the coolest name ever. That would be the best name ever.

Now see, now I want to use that. Viking Fury, Viking Fury backer, yeah. This is my son, Viking Fury, what's his last name, Fury, his first name is Viking. Sorry about your knee, sorry about your kneecap, he just hated it. He's two, and he's got a little baby axe, my first axe. What's up with that beard he's got going, I don't know, I named him Viking Fury. It really stuck. It's red like a sunrise.

Did he just kill that narwhal? Yeah, he did, he's crazy. Stupid Viking Fury, get over here. So how do you get the muzzle? Viking Fury's trying to eat mutton. The stomach can't digest, he's only six weeks old. Mush up some mutton, sweetheart, for Viking Fury. So I want to hear Griffin's last question, but first I feel like we should tell people

how they can seek our guidance. There's so many ways, so many options. I recently compiled them on a new page on the My Brother, My Brother, and We official website, which is mbam.com. And real quick, I want to throw out a big thank you to everyone who's going to that page and going to all of our things, and thanks for everything so far. Once we start selling out, we are going to make a tidy profit. Yeah, a tidy, tidy, tidy profit.

Actually we were actually in the, I think we made it to number 12 on the iTunes comedy podcast. Which is overwhelming. And a misnomer, because it really, it's about helping. It's not about yucks here. But yeah, it was super, super great, and if you haven't rated or subscribed yet, that would be awesome. But really, we'd love it if you would just find somebody who isn't a fan yet, say, hey,

do you have 35 minutes to really get your shit in order, like really get it together. You need to tell them that they have a problem, and that we can address it. Yeah. And if they want to start listening that way, say I'm going to listen to you if you can solve this problem for me, we're down, we're up for a challenge. But all of our links are on mbmbam.com, you can, there's links to our form spring page where you can ask questions anonymously, there's our email mbmbam.com, you can join our Facebook appreciation group, which is...

If you do that, that would be huge. You can subscribe on iTunes, leave a rating, leave a review, we really appreciate that. There's our SSVs for Zoom users that you can download, it's all on Mamba, MambaMade.com. Or the Mamba, as I call it. The Mamba, thank you everybody for listening, it's overwhelming, Justin Russo, thanks for making all of our sweet images, our JPEGs. And Travis, thank you for joining us yet again, despite your debilitating disease. I think it's nice that with what little time left, you're getting to be on a podcast.

I'm just glad my wish is coming true. Thank you all for listening to the series finale. Very, very special, other than my brother and me. You can tune in next week for my brother and me, which is final question of the day. This one comes from, oh god, I should have realized, I can't say this person's name. This comes from Yahoo Answers user C4TF00D, which I think it's supposed to be cat food. Who asks, I need love potion ingredients. Help please.

How am I supposed to break to this? I'm just a macaron, Travis, macaron. I'm Griffin, macaron. And this has been my brother, my brother. You will never know me. I'm Griffin, macaron. I'm Griffin, macaron. I'm Griffin, macaron.

I'm Griffin, macaron. I'm Griffin, macaron. I'm Griffin, macaron. I'm Griffin, macaron. I'm Griffin, macaron. I'm Griffin, macaron. I'm Griffin, macaron. I'm Griffin, macaron.

Yeah!