My Brother, My Brother And Me - My Brother, My Brother and Me: Episode 04
Episode Date: May 3, 2010Would you rather have an infinite supply of delicious cheesecakes, or be blind in one of your two eyes? We'll guide you through infinitely difficult conundrums such as these in this week's episode o...f MAMBAME. We'll also talk about blasting your core, strategic uses for lupus, and then we say the word "Jeffrey" like, 1,400 times. So, enjoy that.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
If you change your mind
On the first in line
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me
Let me know
Gonna be around
If you got your place to go
When you're feeling down
If you're all alone
When the pretty birds have gone
Jason Derulo
Take a chance on me
What you say
I want to start every episode
Of every podcast
With Jason Derulo
And the roof caved in
And something went out
I didn't know what to say
This is my brother, my brother and me
We're gonna auto tune that in post
It's in a vice show for the modern
The modern era
I am Justin McElroy
I'm Travis
I'm Griffin McElroy
Travis has got one name on us
He's gone Madonna
Well, I figured, you know, they know who we are
By this point I would hope
I'm Travis, you know
I'm T-Dog
T-Man
I'm making T-Sack
Yeah, T-Sack
It's like when a teabag's not enough
You need a T-Sack
I'm T-Bucket
You hear of a J-Rod T-Bucket in the sack
Mornings
Tune in
Keep it locked
So we are my brother, my brother and me
It's an advice show for the modern era
A lot of people I try to tell about the show
And they say, hey, is it a...
So it's just you guys talking? No, it is an advice show
We give advice
And a lot of it's to random people on form spring
A lot of it's to people we don't know
On Yahoo Answers
But it is an advice show, if you want advice
We'll tell you how to get it at the end of the show
The first question
Is from form spring anonymous
How do you make things less awkward between you
And an X
You move
As far away from them as you possibly
You move away and you change your name
Change your name
They never exist
People bring them up
Like, hey, how are things between you and Susan?
Susan
Susan Sarandon? I've never met
Susan Sarandon
I hear things are rocky between her and Tim
Oh, no
They were getting separated
As far as that goes, it really depends on
How things ended with you and the X
Like, if they ended really badly
News flash, dude
Dude, there are 6 billion people move on
Yeah
If you're in a regular social circle with her
And you have to interact with her
On a regular basis
Then
The only thing that's going to cure that
Is the all healing balm of time
But man
And a lot of people have that misconception of
You know, I want to be friends like we were before
But if you actually weren't friends
With the person before, that's really hard to establish
Which you weren't
If you think about it, really think back
Go back
Back in the annals of your history
You weren't really friends
Were you really friends or were you trying to
Kind of trying to get her to go out with you
A little bit
You met her at that Dave Matthews Band concert
Two days later
It was clever then, but now
In retrospect
What are the signs
That someone is interested in you
And looking for a relationship
I unfortunately found myself
Smitten by a girl
And smitten, but she seems to
Enjoy going to movies, dinner
And spending a lot of time with me
But I was too timid
To make her mine
Okay, I would say the signs are
Are you going to movies and dinner
And does she enjoy spending a lot of time with you
Those are good signs to look for
I got a piece of advice from a man
Some unsolicited advice
If you want to go out with this girl
Stop saying creepy shit like make her mine
And smitten by her
I made her mine
A bounty of flesh
So do you want to go see a movie
Or should I just make you
Into a skin suit
Make you mine, possess you
For me, I mean for life
To own you, to have you
I just want to own you and make you mine
I just want to own your body
Just your body
That's my property, I want to make you your body
How do you feel about man sized jars
I will poke holes in the top
I'll put a twig in there
Some leaves, don't even worry about it
Don't even worry about it
But you're mine now
As far as the signs you're looking for
But sugar water
In the bottom, oh sugar water
This one comes from Yahoo
Answers and I think it's great
Because
You guys are your professionals at this
But the question is who is the founder of acting
The subtitle is I would really like
To know who is the founder of acting
Any answers?
I think it's Aristotle
Pretty sure it's Jim Farny
He was Ernest
And the dad from Beverly Hillbillies
And that coil dog
High versatility, I think so
He was the coil dog?
He was everybody
I didn't know that
Because he's a fucking chameleon
He was a chameleon
Were there any answers
To that one?
There was one from a guy named Theder Doc
Did he say something boring like
A poet named Thespis
In 534 BC
Became the first person to play a part
On stage
Jim Farny revolutionized it
He perfected it
Perfected it
It's like how the Chinese maybe invented fireworks
But I guess the Chinese perfected fireworks
We perfected blowing our hands off
There you go
This one also comes from form spring
Hey guys, just wondering what the word cute means
I hear women use the word in conversation all the time
And I'm more and more confused about
It's true meaning
Given it's multitude of uses
It means chubby
Sorry son
But you got a great personality on it
Show me the great personality
Just substitute cute with
Non-threatening
He's so cute
He's so non-threatening
By non-threatening
You don't know what she means when she says cute
That's non-threatening for you
That's the definition of non-threatening
Hey
I got a little piece of advice for your prom king
Next time you're around
Someone who says cute, flip a table
Just flip a table
See if they keep calling you cute
Was that adorable? Was that so so cute?
And then just make love to them right there
They will
They will not fight
Can we flip the table back over?
And if they do fight
Just make them yours
They go to you
They're your property
Adam has a problem
I wrote to him from Gmail
He says my friend doesn't seem to fully grasp the point of the would you rather game
He put this question such as
Would you rather be able to leap over tall buildings
Or have the ability to hear babies crying
Anywhere out of the way
Okay
Let me just take a tea
I'm going to take a tea right here
A big tea sack right here and say
That's a terrible power
Anywhere
A newborn is distressed
You know
Can you imagine what your days would be like?
Just constantly from dust until dawn
Wake up to slumber
Not to ever sleep
Sound of millions of babies crying
Keep reading the question
Because I like the second one better
Or would you rather be on fire
Or not be on fire
I want to read this guy
How can I teach him the proper way
To play
Or is he a lost cause
Oh Adam I think
Man
I think he got a jettison that went into the sun
Maybe he's just not allowed to play that game anymore
Maybe not that game
Maybe another one
Maybe he's really good at checkers
Be able to breathe underwater
Or have Lyme disease
Would you rather win the lottery
Or be raped by a gorilla
Would you rather
Find a crisp clean
$100 bill
Or watch an elderly loved one
Be pushed out of the light of stairs
It is up to you
The choice, my friend, is yours
One for the ages, a puzzler
For ages
Would you rather
Have
A credit card
That you never had to pay back
Sounds good so far
No teeth
Can I have both or just the one
One or the other
I guess I could get those metal teeth
Like the guy from James Bond
There you go
I can't decide
I can't decide
This one comes from Socrates
Via Gmail
So I was planning on getting a tattoo on my shoulder
But I'm starting to notice that everyone has one there
I have this thing about trying to be unique
So could you tell me another spot I could get inked
I have one of my right elbow
If that matters
Travis says
Go sack
Travis has a tattoo
I was going to make a joke
None of us have tattoos on our shoulders
No, I have a tattoo on my shoulder blade
I don't have one on my
actual shoulder
I have one on my scapula
Thanks bones
Like shoulder
Did you just thank your bones
No, I think the show bones
No, you're not going to turn another mamba bam
You're not going to turn another mamba
It do a bones fan gas
For a honest circle jerk
I don't want to
I actually have four right now
Justin you got two, Griffin you got one
As far as placement goes
Dude, everyone's got tattoos everywhere
If you want to be original don't get one
Yeah, you're not going to come up with a place
Like whoa, what's original inside the lip
Yeah, everyone's got that
Behind your ear, everyone's got that
Back your neck, everyone's got that
Go eyelid, get with that girl
In Indiana Jones
Oh yeah
Let's do that
I don't think that's a tattoo though
Oh shit, it's not a tattoo, Griffin
It seemed like she had a crush on her teacher
And so she wrote it
Oh is that fine
I thought she just had that tattoo
Instead of just listening to the band tattoo
Oh yeah
I always wanted to get
A tattoo
Of tattoo from Fantasy Island
And he was lifting up his shirt
And he would have a tattoo of the band tattoo
So there you go, get that
Get that, and I'll give you a hundred dollars
Justin will give you a hundred dollars
I think we could probably get you a guest spot on the show
If you
A tattoo
I have had several
People ask about guest spots
Doing a guest spot on the show
And I don't think they understand the premise
Of the show
My brother, my brother, and me
And Dave Couillier
My brother, my brother, and me
And the cast of Hairspray
Like no, well just
Three of us actually
It's kind of a thing that we do
It's the deal
What this show needs more of is over talk
I think we could all
Use her a little bit more
Everyone talking at once
This next question
Comes from Evan
Versus Gmail
You guys remember when Evan fought Gmail
That one thought it was totally awesome
Evan says, I, like many, belong to a group of friends
One of the friends in this group found a guy
And started dating him
No one else in the group likes this guy
But now he's always around
Whenever she is
And he doesn't have any other friends either
So we're expected to spend his birthday with him
The group has asked me specifically to not be mean to him
Because she is the other friend's boyfriend
And we don't want to push her out of the group
Evan didn't actually ask a question here
Evan just told us that little
That little enic
That's a great story, Evan
Yeah, I like the part about the birthday
Do you remember that one scene
Where he doesn't have any other friends
And they're expecting to spend his birthday with him
That's pretty good
Evan, you didn't ask for advice
But let me give you some
Just be cool
Just be cool, man
Everyone at some point has to deal with this
Yeah, it'll shake out eventually
That seems to be the way
Either he'll realize he's not welcome
And peel off
Or, you know, you guys will get to know him
But that's a tough
It could be that your group of friends is super tight-knit
And maybe it's not that this guy sucks
It's that you're not willing to let new people in
Or maybe he's super shy
Which just adds to the situation
So I think you should maybe give the guy
A second chance
Maybe try and get to know him
Now, here's the thing
Counterpoint to that
If he's a real douche
If he's just not interesting, that's one thing
But if he is being a jerk
And is mean
To this friend
And you guys specifically don't like him
That's another thing
And that's worthy of you being mean right back
Don't you take his guff
Man, no
Don't set it off
Because that's going to be on you
That's my fault
I'm sorry, guys
It's okay, T-Bad
You just got a little...
T-Sack, you just got a little aggravated
T-Sack out
We have a strict anti-instahating
Policy
M-B-M-B-A-M
And I would appreciate it if you'd respect that
Respect
Open question from Yahu Answers user
DeepThinkingWhatTheFuckGirl
She says
Pull
Would you sleep with a Navi if you could
Or Navi, sorry
Navi, one of the blue-skinned peeps from Avatar
Man, that's tough because
I mean, I'm assuming you would be
In the world of the Avatar
Who could sleep with all that fucking
Natural beauty
Wouldn't you just want to get up and scamper?
I wouldn't want to close my eyes
Who could close their eyes? I wouldn't blink
I wouldn't blink, I would just drain
There's a glowing mosquito and it's three feet long
This is so much better than doing it
Way better than doing it
Why would you waste your time?
A Navi is like the big blue people
The big blue people
You didn't see Avatar?
Congratulations
Oh cool, I'm on the podcast
I went to Earth who didn't see Avatar
I mean, it's not a good movie
I mean, good on you
Do you want to know why I didn't see it?
Because of shit like this
One of the Answers
One of the Answers is from a guy named
WarriorsPride, who's Avatar
Is an Avatar
Or a Navi
Oh god, he says
Yes, I would sleep with myself
I sleep with a mirror
You can sleep with me if you want
My tail does things involuntarily
Like go towards areas that make humans uncomfortable
It's a Navi thing
Wait, let's get that last one again
My tail does things involuntarily
Like go towards areas that make humans uncomfortable
It's a Navi thing
It's a Navi thing
You wouldn't understand
You wouldn't get it
Does Navi understand the science
Of walnut pleasures?
You wouldn't understand
Get that tail off my walnut
That's the most awkward thing
That's the most awkward thing
Because I truly believe that that gentleman
Believes he's answering that question
Legitimately
You know, he's got like a giant
Bucket of blue paint
Every morning he wakes up and just
It's not, Griffin
Your judge just bothered me
It's a Navi thing, man
How could you get it? You couldn't get it
The reason I didn't see the movie
Isn't because I'm afraid I'd encounter people like this
Like, I'm afraid
He began to deep in you
What if I became
What if I did
You mean what if you got to live on a beautiful
Beautiful forest planet
And got to just fucking sweep from trees all day
Right, but the planet is in my mind
Because I actually live in butt shit Ohio
Like
But it would be in my mind
I would be dancing
You know, tripping the light fantastic
On
Hey, Griffin did the next line
Of that answer, was it
Oh, sorry, I gotta go, my attractive
Wife and kids just walked in the room
Is that the next thing? That's actually exactly
Yeah, that's how it ended
So here's a question from
Formspring, it's anonymous as most
Formspring questions are
What is the best way to approach people
Who are almost your acquaintances, but not
Quite
Like, you've talked to them a couple of times
But you barely know their names
And their relationships with people are like that
Okay, good one. I actually have a trick that I use
Can you stand here
Them until they get up
No, work is a team
Get someone like a good friend
Or a girlfriend or a boyfriend or whatever
And tell
That person ahead of time, listen
If I don't introduce you, it's because
I've forgotten this person's name
And introduce yourself like I am
Being a bad friend, boyfriend, girlfriend
To you, like well
Introduce them, what was your name
And it's like oh yeah, sorry
And then you can learn their name again
I don't think he's asking or she
Is asking how
How to remember people's names
I think he's just saying he barely knows their names
He needs to take it to the next step
I like the idea of a friendship wingman though
Yeah, it works out really well
You know what I'm saying
Like a guy can be like
You can have a conversation with somebody
Near somebody that you don't know
A friendship wingman and you can talk about
Something that you know that person's interested in
And then suddenly
The line becomes a triangle
You know what I'm saying, a friendship triangle
Find out something that they're interested in
Like you said that you barely know their names
And that is a huge first step
If you address somebody
By their name
Dale Carnegie says that
The everyone's favorite
Sound and the English language is the sound
Of their own name as a stone
In fact, learn their name
Use it a lot, they're going to warm up to you
Pretty quickly, and then
Find out something they're interested in
And ask them about it
If you don't know what they're interested in
Use the environment that you're in
If you are at a party, at a show
At a concert
Reference what is going on around
To ask if they're having a good time
Jeffrey, how did you get to this concert, Jeffrey?
What would you say, Jeffrey?
What's your favorite Dave Matthews song, Jeffrey?
Jeffrey, how do you enjoy being the butler
For the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Jeffrey?
I love Jeffrey Matthews band
Oops, what did I do, Jeffrey?
I just touched that in, Jeffrey
Jeffrey, I didn't mean to say that, Jeffrey
And then your best friends
And then your best friends, just like that
Say their name a lot, and then at the first time
You meet them, say, hey, nice to meet you, Jeffrey
You want to go to a wine tasting with me, Jeffrey?
Jeffrey, let's look at houses
Jeffrey, it'll be like that movie Sideways, Jeffrey
Jeffrey, let's go to look at open houses, Jeffrey
I bought us matching sweaters, Jeffrey
Jeffrey, let's wear these matching sweaters, Jeffrey
Go for a wine tasting in the country
Jeffrey, hug me, Jeffrey
Come to my via for a weekend, Jeffrey
Your via?
Your villa?
No, they rolled the double L's
Via
My
My
My Jeffrey and I recently discovered
The website chat roulette
Now she's on it for several hours a day
I'm worried due to the high percentage of
Disgusting things and weird people on it
Is this warranted? Yep, she's looking at dicks
Okay, not sure dicks though, Jeffrey
Some strange dicks on the internet
Jeffrey, it does
She's looking at dicks, I'm sorry
I don't know if you use chat roulette
It's literally half dick
You can come up with that every time
Oh, that needs playing the guitar
Oh, there's a dick, what?
Where did that dick come from?
The reason you get on chat roulette
Is either to
Show your prong to strangers
Or if you're in a large group of people
And you've all had a few drinks
And so you're just scanning the internet
On chat roulette
Hoping that you'll see a dick
So you can all laugh at it
How crazy is this dick?
I didn't want to see that
What the fuck
We all saw that dick together
Jeffrey, get over here
Look at this dick, Jeffrey
The bigger problem
Is that she is
It's because of anomalies like herself
That there are guys showing off their
Wangs on chat roulette
Because everyone out of 20
There's that one girl who's like
Dicks
Also dude, I want to point out
If your girlfriend's on chat roulette
It's a day
There's some re-evaluating needs to go on there
Because that's hours dude
Hours
Baby dinners
I made dinner tonight
I'm on chat roulette, back off
I'm looking at waiters
This red cabbage took me two hours
To prepare and season correctly
This guy's been
Seasoning his sausage for
Three minutes now
Maybe we're late for grandpa pa's funeral
I'm on chat roulette
Here's one from
Yahoo Answers
I don't want any answers from
Us on it because it's kind of a creepy question
But I think the answers are better than the question itself
The question is do you know
Do you know any good songs to have sex to
Kind of creepy right
Here's some
Here's some of the responses
Let's get it on Marvin Gaye
Sure
Doing it by LL Cool J
Little on the nose for me
Right
A thousand years by Sting
Not familiar with the track, but if it's by Sting
I bet it's a long
It's a long one
Beat it by Michael Jackson
Well
I'm not so sure about that
Eminem
Superman
Well
It's a little more
Circumstance
Nelly, Hot in here
Okay, now the train's gone off the tracks
That's some weird
Bedroom activities
If you're listening to Hot in here
That song's way too heavy
A beat
50 Cent in the club
Maybe late till you get home
Wake me up
Before you go go
Okay
Anything by Kid Rock
Nickelback and Aerosmith
Slow by Jamie Foxx
Well
Okay
The problem with that is
Nothing on the radio getting you home
Why don't we just dance
I don't know what that means
Is it a lyric?
Ah
Why don't we get Drunken Screw by Jimmy Buffett
Good one
H&R Puffin Stuff
Is your Yahoo answers name
Everyone finds them on Yahoo
That's a great one
Cheeseburger in Paradise
Anything off Boats
His seminal
1981 album Boats
I'm actually
You gotta pick one song, it's gotta be Amazing Grace
Gotta be Amazing Grace
But only the first two verses
I've got an anonymous
Question from a Formspring user
Who says, I'm a software developer
At a local semiconductor company
The pay and benefits are awesome
But the job isn't challenging
Should I look for a more interesting job
Or stay and keep making a lot of money
But be really bored
What are you shitting me
The pay and benefits are awesome
Get that money
Get that money and then you can
You want challenge, do a Sudoku
What's wrong with you
Have you seen the way the economy is now
Just keep that money and get it
Get that money till you're rich
Yeah dude
Don't make that green
Do it with one hand tie binder back
I didn't want to throw out right here
You work with stuff called Semiconductors
How is that not awesome
Maybe pay attention, it sounds dangerous
I swapped the answer gravity field
For an EMP pulse generator
If I flip the wrong switch
I destroy reality
Pretty boring
We're just trying to create the power
Of a star on earth
We're just trying to find the God element
But it's not a challenge
Hey past me that's Sudoku Jeffrey
Did you read today's Dilbert
We're trying to find God in this machine
This tube, this super collider
But this Dilbert's really good
I think
Super colliders
Semiconductor
Semiconductor is a common part
Used in a super collider
It's what shoots
The two things that collide into each other
I took
One semester of
What was geography
Was my integrated science class
You minored in semiconductor right
That is true, no sociology
That was it
But they are not
What is the best way to get past the friend zone
With a lady friend
Can't be done
Can't be done
Gotta move in faster, not at all
Once you're in the friend zone
You don't ever get out
That's been my experience, unless
Unless
You're in the friend zone
Because they're dating one of your friends
I'm not condoning
That kind of activity
Unless
Unless, unless you are
Unless you feel that call
Call of
Chemistry
She'd be better with you than him
He's always in there listening to Jamie Foxx songs
Are they trying to knock boots
You know you'd play do it at my local J
Something proper, something smooth
Like Amazing Grace
You know, it's funny to me
We keep getting questions like
How do I move out of the friend zone
How do I know when someone actually wants a relationship with me
You know the question
My brother and me doesn't get a lot
I'm in a relationship with several women
How do I terminate one of them
And just get some more friends
I just have women calling me
Every day and I am sick of it
But my answer
To all of these questions
Is for some reason we all think there's a secret code
And there's body language
To look for and there's certain
Combinations of words to look for
Just ask them
Just grow a pair and be like
Hey listen, I dig you
What is this?
And then don't let that change your friendship
Or if it does then you need to make the decision
Which is more important
Find that out
Such a modern thought
I think you should just like Travis said
Just cave man it up and be like
You meet date, be good
Let's do this
And I understand the fear
That comes from like I don't want to push this
I get it but like if you
Here's the thing and this is another
This is kind of a
A different way of looking at it
Maybe it'll help you
If you're thinking this way
You're not in the friend zone
She is, you're not
You're not in the friend zone
And the reason that you're
Like if you're friends with somebody
A lot of times being friends
With the opposite sex and I know everybody's done this
So they can't act like they can't
But they don't but
I've been friends with somebody of the opposite sex
Who I think maybe kind of
Digs me because it makes me
Feel good about myself
Everyone's done it, please don't think I'm a bad person
Everybody does it
So you may, and I've been on the receiving end of that too
So if that's
Not working out for you, if that's not
That connection isn't getting it done for you
You need to just pony up
Because like at this point, the point you're at now
Psychologically
You can't worry about losing the friendship
Because psychologically
You already have
Because you're out of the friend zone
You are past the friend zone, you're not there anymore
And the thing is don't fool yourself
Into thinking they don't know that you dig them
People are very smart
And pick up on stuff like that every day
They know that you do, you know
Maybe you touch their shoulder a little bit too long
Or you've been complimenting them more than you have in the past
But people pick up on that dude
She probably knows that
And her
Failure to reciprocate back
Tells you you're not
Gonna move out of that
And just ask if it doesn't pan out
Bail, I mean bail on
Not bail on the friendship, bail on worrying about it as a relationship
You will ruin the friendship
Yeah, let me call back to
An answer we frequently give out
To queries like this
Which is
Just get more attractive
Maybe go
Do some pull ups
Work your core
Just work that core blast it
Blast your core out
Pump up on some peck juice
And then
It's gonna be so much easier
To get past the friend zone
It's gonna be hard for her to stay in the friend zone
When she's in the bone zone
My man Matt
He writes to us from Gmail
He's looking for a new job
What are some excuses
He could use to leave his current job early
To go on interviews
If he goes to any more doctor's appointments
They're going to think something seriously is wrong with me
You're all at just appointments
Yeah
That's a dot, that's a kind of dot
Okay, that's true
Handing appointments
It's alright T-Sack, he's just got a little
Got a little really aggressive
Oh man
That's a good question
How many interviews are you going on
That are painted out
You may just want to stick with that job
Maybe just keep this job
Maybe you are not suited for other jobs
Let's give him some serious real help
Because we're three creative types
We can come up
I'm working on something in my mind
I haven't fully developed it
But it involves psychic powers
I don't
Maybe
Say you have psychic powers
And you've sensed that there's going to be a horrible catastrophe
But really sell it
So that everyone else actually thinks
You could get the whole office to leave
And then when you come in the next morning
It wasn't today, it wasn't yesterday
But it's definitely coming soon
I feel it in my bones
It may be time
For Lupus
Maybe time for Lupus
I don't like to break glass
In case of emergency
On Lupus too often
But maybe time to fake Lupus
He means that
Very, very literally
Because Justin has a vial of Lupus
That he keeps nearby
In case he needs to be sick for a long, long time
I will give you this caution Matt
If
Any of those businesses
Or places that you're going to interview for
Call your current employer
For a reference or anything like that
Your F, dude
Yeah, it has a car, it just comes down
Yeah, so watch out for that
So how would you describe Matt as a worker?
Well, he was a great worker
But his productivity slowed down pretty
Significantly when he got that Lupus
What? When he got that what? I'm sorry
The Lupus that he has
That he definitely has
That no one would lie about
He definitely had that Lupus
I saw his wheelchair
He's messed up with the Lupus
The doctors are sure of it, I definitely have breast cancer
They're curing that every day
Yeah, so maybe don't lie
Leslie
He says
Recently my wife and I wanted another dog
I wanted to adopt an older dog like we had before
But she wanted a puppy
So we got a puppy
There it is, right?
Now she complains about the work involved with the puppy
And complains about the puppy peeing in the house
I don't want the puppy to say I told you so
Or should I remain quiet when she complains
Oh dude, that fixes nothing
Yeah, don't play the I told you so game
Man, it fixes nothing
They know, trust me
Don't play that, oh don't do it
I can't give you a strong enough recommendation
Don't do that
I can give you some real world puppy advice
Travis, professional dog trainer
You've wondered right
Right into his wheelchair
The question between an older dog and a puppy
There are benefits to both
The benefit of giving a puppy versus an older dog
Is it is easier to train
On a puppy
The way that you want it to be
Where older dogs, any behavior problems
Are more ingrained and harder to train out
And it won't die as quickly
Older dogs usually come
More docile
And with less house training
Problems, but a puppy is going to grow out of that
In like four months
It's not going to be a problem anymore
With a puppy that you can train
To be the kind of dog you want
To be easier than an older dog
A puppy just full of vitality and life
You know my problem with old dogs
Is not enough Martin Lawrence
I really thought his character was underdeveloped
No, that's wild hogs you liar
What? You're thinking of the wrong old hogs
Wait, wild hogs
What is it?
I didn't, I joked you're right
Wild hogs is a
Old dogs is Robin Williams
Robin Williams
And the Scientologist
He named his son after an airplane
By extension
He did not have a Martin Lawrence
No, that's true
What Justin said was completely accurate
Also, I'm sorry
For making fun of Jett Travolta
He's passed and that was beneath me
That's true
So, Andrew from Gmail
Asked
Yeah, I know, it's weird, right?
What are some ways to help build motivation
For things like studying and working on personal projects?
I didn't like that
I wish you would do that in the future
Damn it, I wish you would leave it to me
Justin
I got caught up in the moment
Right, right
I get how it happens
That was my bad
That's all on T-Sack
That's how T-Sack does though
I'll roll
You know what, Andrew? Go take a shower
Oh, yeah?
Go take a shower
I've been making myself shower
I'm actually 13 minutes past 2 for my shower
I've been doing my noon shower
And I'll work
And I'll write a bit in the morning
And then I'll feel my energy
Start to be
Sapped from me by some unseen force
And I'll just go hop in the shower
And then I get
The second cup of coffee
Oh, also coffee
Lots and lots of coffee
That helps, but mostly just showers
Because showers are great because they also keep you clean
I also like to operate in a clean environment
That being said, I usually don't get a lot of stuff
Bullshit, sir
That's why I don't get anything done
People are like, why didn't you get anything done?
Because I didn't clean my room
I didn't get anything done because there's a 4 month old bowl of salsa
Sitting right next to my computer mouse
It's sitting right there
Are you talking about yourself?
Oh, we don't want to have this fight
Yeah, we're not doing this, guys
Kyle writes in
He says, I have a problem with taking girls
Taking girls
Making them mine
I have a problem with talking to girls
I keep putting in jars
And I don't know what to do about it
I have a problem with talking to girls that I'm interested in
I can never gather up enough courage to ask them out
Which leads me to worry
About it and develop anxiety attacks
I don't have a problem with
Talking to ladies in committed relationships
Or females that I'm not interested in
Oh, help me out
Kyle, dude, you're psyching yourself out
You know that thing
You know that thing you hear where it's like
Once you get married
That's when girls all find you attractive
It's not
It's not being married
It's not giving a shit
I say you start dating girls you're not interested in
If you have no problem with talking to them, go with that
Yeah, that's a great idea
That's a great life plan
Nothing back would come of that
That explains so much, Travis
That's here
Sorry, T-Sack
T-Sack, that's T-Sack
Let's separate
Kyle, as far as that goes
You know, Justin's right
You're psyching yourself out
You're just getting yourself down, dude
And just talk to them
You're not interested in them
Go take a shower
And then just caveman it up
I'm telling you
If I'm at a bar and I'm too nervous to talk to a girl
I just flip the caveman switch
It's like, hey, you look nice
You buy drinks
We dance now
We dance now to the Flamenco music
First off, maybe you're not going to Flamenco bars
That's the place to go to meet ladies
Flamenco bars
You would not believe
That's why I've been strip mining at Flamenco bars
Kyle, you have
You have to get
You have to tell yourself this is a mental
block
The problem with this is solely
on you
If you start thinking to yourself
You know how it's easier for you to talk to girls
In a committed relationship, right?
Start telling yourself in your head
That you are in a committed relationship
That no matter what you do
You don't want to be a girl to go out with
A girl to just say
Just to talk to a girl at a bar
Because I know that thing when you're single
You start, you turn on the terminator
You got the hood
And every girl you look at is like
You know, doesn't, isn't into me
I don't like her coat
You know, you're analyzing every girl
And you just got to
You got to let that go, it's a mental block
Let it go, just go
She's not always going to be wearing that coat
She might get a new coat
Just pretend
Nice seersucker
Seersucker? What?
Tell yourself you're in a committed relationship
Pretend that you're in a committed relationship
And just go for it, because
What you're trying to do is get someone
Who doesn't know you at all
To accept you in a few minutes
And that's not going to get you anywhere
Just go talk to people to be talking to them
And if that doesn't help
Prostitution
A lot of law enforcement turns a blind eye these days
Hugh Grant's doing it
He's down, what's up?
A Hugh Grant
What?
Isn't there anybody more relevant?
Isn't Charlie Sheen probably been busted for that?
Yeah, I think he's done that for me recently
Jordan from Gmail
When is the right time to move out?
He's 20 years old now
I'm going to assume it's a he
21 on the Monday
This podcast comes out
Happy birthday, Jordan
Yeah, boost it up son
Have one on me
Boost it
He will reimburse you
Send me that receipt
The commute of one hour
Total
A day to school
That's awful dude
Podcast time though
Loyal customer
I hope to be done with school soon
But hope to be taking a follow up online course
That will last around 18 months
When it's appropriate to depart the nest
I'm much obliged
I don't have much money right now
But I do live in Canada where hugs are currency
Thanks in advance Jordan
Jordan, you're 20 years old now
I'm going to say the timetable
Is
2 years ago
I'm not sure how you can make that happen
But if you can find some sort of
I will say this
When living at home stops your life
From developing
So 2 years ago
What
I do want to
Speaking of someone who lived at home
To this age
To 20, maybe 21
Perhaps 22
Make sure you have some money together
Because if you can
Stay there and get together a nest egg
Go do that
And get together enough money
That you're not going to die
But it's really
I know it's intimidating
If you haven't done all the stuff
If you haven't
Sign the lease and look for the apartment
And done all that garbage
But it's really so easy
Look around
The stupid
Awful people that you meet every day
Who you still love
Because that's what makes the world go around
But they're stupid and terrible
Remember that they have done
All this stuff that you're intimidated by
Assuming that you're intimidated by it
It's not that hard
Just make sure you have a steady income
And specifically though
Doing the things like setting up your gas
It's really not complicated
And the nice thing is once you start doing it
It's really empowering
It really does feel good to be like
I set up that electric account
Makes you feel like an adult
A great feeling
Just get out there and start trying it
Also it might help if you
Ask friends if anybody need a roomie
To kind of ease in that way
Somebody who's already handling all this stuff
Or brothers
Brothers
But as far as the timetable goes
Don't rush yourself because you don't want to do it
When you're not ready and you're not prepared
You don't have the money but you know
There's no reason to wait
You're not really waiting on anything
Hey did you ask Jeff?
Did you ask Jeffrey if you needed a roommate?
Jeffrey we should move in together
Jeffrey we've just met Jeffrey
Jeffrey it's a one bedroom apartment
But it's awfully spacious
Jeffrey
I've got a California king bed
I promise we won't touch Jeffrey
Jeffrey will you hold me
During the thunderstorms Jeffrey
Jeffrey it's hailing
Jeffrey the black clouds
Are rolling in Jeffrey
Jeffrey let us buy a puppy together Jeffrey
Jeffrey we'll name him Jeffrey
Jeffrey
Oh Jeffrey
Let's go shopping at the local market Jeffrey
To troll Jeffrey
Oh
So
I've got my final question loaded up
On Yahoo and it's been about 40 minutes
So let's uh
Let's tell how all these nice people can
Can get ahold of us
Can we just say thank you to everybody
We've passed 10,000 downloads
10K
Downloads this week the show's blowing up
Everybody loves it
Do me a favor
I'm just saying nonsense
Not everybody loves it though
Because a lot of people aren't listening
If you can believe that they're missing out on this
How many people are on the planet right now?
Too many
Don't keep relying under a bushel
You know what you can do
You can burn it on a CD
It's a short show you can burn maybe two episodes on a CD disc
Have a little listening party
This is great and then you can talk about your favorite parts
And you can give each other advice
That's what I want to start up
I want us to start a
Pay it forward style
Social movement
Like a cult
A cult
But do please tell a friend
Just right now
Send them a link and say hey I think you'd like this
Because anybody would
And you know what if you're a fan
And you haven't subscribed to us on iTunes yet
Just do that
Review us on iTunes that helps a lot
We really appreciate it
I can't even pressure people too much
Because people have been so great so far
Everybody has seriously
And also we got to thank Justin Russo
Again
For creating tons of great art
If you haven't seen
Been on our Facebook group
And looked at his image
For my wellness as a temple
What do you think the image for this episode is going to be?
It's going to be Jeffrey based
Jeffrey Centric
So
That is a
As far as how to contact us goes
Go to mbmbam.com
And it's all on there
We have Twitter
Gmail
Formspring
Any of those are great ways to contact us
Email us at mbmbam.com
We'll get that and we'll read it
And use it if it's
Just not dumb
I see a lot of tweets with mbmbam
And the hashtag
And just people quoting stuff from the show
Remember you can ask questions that way
They'll understand if you want to keep your questions private
A lot of Huntingtonians up on that show
Yeah people are down
I think that's where our first live
Live app is going to be
We'll go to Sensey
Some of these people will actually go
Guys thank you for finding
40 minutes to listen to us
I really appreciate it
And we're so happy you could come out
So so so pleased
So pleased
Yahoo answers user
B, just let her be
Says
Smoke coming from my belly button
I'm Justin McElroy
I'm Chavis McElroy
I'm Griffin McElroy
And this has been my brother
And me
You will never know me
I
Was lying in bed
And my mom turned out the light
It was about 10pm and as the light was turned out
I thought I heard someone speak and say
About 30 minutes later
My belly felt warm
I looked under the duvet and saw
A little light coming from my belly button
On closer inspection I thought I saw something fly out
And leave my duvet
I pushed my belly button and a bit of smoke came out
And this was not a dream and it's left me utterly confused