My Brother, My Brother And Me - My Brother, My Brother and Me: Episode 07
Episode Date: May 24, 2010Our plate is heaping with questions on this week's show, covering a wide variety of issues and problems. Fortunately, we're hungry. For questions. Which we'll dip into our economy-sized vat of Sweet A...nswer Dippin' Sauce, and instantly devour. Romantic troubles? Chomp. Workplace drama? Munch. Just found out you were born a woman, but were surgically rendered a man when you were two years old? Delicious. Suggested talking points: Musical girlfriend, customer love, The Lake House, Flo-rida, Babystruck, Rebel Without a Cause, Beerbabies, D'Angelo, Deep remembrance, an MBMBAM proposal.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
If you change your mind
On the first in line
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me
Let me know
Gonna be around
If you got your place to go
When you feel it now
If you're all alone
When the pretty birds have come
Honey, I'm still free
You've done it, you've succeeded
You've engaged in the right series of
Clicks and types
And taps that make the
My brother and my brother
And the advice show from Modern Air
Come out of your speakers
Or headphones
Or cans with string
I am
Of course, Justin McElroy
I am the oldest McElroy brother
I am Travis McElroy
And I am the middleist McElroy brother
You can't get more middle than Travis
I'm Griffin McElroy
And I'm the adopted McElroy brother
I was gonna bring it up this episode if you didn't
You already have
Real brother, thank you for joining me again
No problem
Adopted brother, you didn't have much of a choice
Right
You'd put me back in the cellar
Back to the cellar with you, dum-dum
Words hurt
Words hurt
Words do hurt
Our first question
Comes just from Forbes
Spring
If you need advice
You can find out how to get it at the end of the program
Dear MBMBAM
Have you ever fallen in love with a girl
For her taste in music
A girl started making me
Mixed CDs that were surprising
And addictingly good
And now I am in love
But maybe just because of the mix
I ask, is there anything wrong with this?
There ain't nothing wrong with a music girlfriend
Not on the short term, my man
Yeah, that ain't gonna last long
But you can get some sweet burn CDs from her
Most of my collegiate musical taste
Came from a girlfriend that I had
My freshman year of college that burned me
Like four MP3 CDs
Not even audio CDs
We're talking like Googles and Googles of music
That I still listen to to this day
Wait, Googles?
Google bits
It's not gonna last long unless the song that unites
The two of you is Crazy Game of Poker
Man, that song never ends
Once again, this is one of those questions where
If you're in high school
Yeah, no, that's perfectly fine
If you're 45, it's
It's time to get your ass together, man
Yeah
I don't think there's anything wrong with judging a person
Based on their musical taste
I think that says a lot about a person
I think everybody has that quality
Like for me, it's TV shows and movies
And I think for other people, it's like video games
And music and books and magazines
There's always gonna be that one thing that
Sparks our interest
Just build off of that
For me, it's Pogs
For finding a lady with a fine collection of Pogs
And maybe some really heavy alloy slammers
Just really nice slammers
Look at the slammers on her
Wow, look at her slammers
Ozeta, did you mon on there? Nice
So in closing
It's a fine reason to start a relationship
And a terrible reason to continue one
There it is
Another one from Formspring
There's some place that lets you interact
With many different people, customers
And you're immediately attracted to one of them
Is it cool to tell him or her
You think they're attractive
What's up with those slammers, girl?
Like those slammers I see across the register
I'm gonna have to go with Travis on this one
No
There's no way to avoid being that dude
Who's like, even if you're the nicest guy in the world
There's no way
When you're wearing khakis
Work shirt to not sound
Creepy
Are you gonna say
You're attractive? Cause that's probably creepy
But if you're staying with body language
And stuff
Do you want me to put it in your bag?
You're attractive
I'm attracted to you
I'm attracted to you
Your body, your face is setting off chemical reactions
Inside of my body
That finds you very desirable
My aesthetic sense is inflamed
It's one of those things where
Yeah, if you're just paying a compliment
Great, it ain't going anywhere
But you might make them feel better
Maybe you can use that to get ahead in your business
Right? Like if you're a real estate agent
Like maybe show a little bit of the cleave
And then
What's up? Yeah, what's up
Confession time
I once asked a girl out when I was working a waiter
Job and
I asked her out for you
Like
We went out once
And it was awful
It was quite terrible
Sounds bad
Yeah, so I personally don't recommend it
Also, I felt like the creepiest creep out ever
It was good
Yeah, and I did
Even as I did it, I was trying to justify it
You can't, I'm surprised
The girl showed up and didn't just call Chris Hansen
Cause it was creepy time
Because she was 12 years old
She was also 12
You know, this is also
Like so much of our advice
It's highly
Contextual dependent upon whether or not
You yourself are very physically
Tracked
Yeah, if you're
Super attractive, super handsome dude
Or a super bodacious lady
With just real nice slammers
Like you are always
Going to be on the right path
By telling people that you find them attractive
It's always acceptable
If you're very, very physically attractive
Sweet, sweet slammers
Just the sweetest
Hi, brothers
Hi, I have a problem
I can't start studying for a test
Until the day before
What should I do to start earlier?
You've come to the wrong place
You know, how about this
Hey, bitch, just start earlier
Just do the thing
Do the thing you asked how to do
You understand the concept of earlier
So pick a time
Before the time you normally do it and do it then
They'll do it now
Do it yesterday
Now that being said
I do the same thing
Or I did the same thing
Because I retained the knowledge better
In a short
In a block before the test
Rather than trying to study all week
I couldn't hold it in my head that long
Bullshit
The only thing I think you can do
Which proved to be kind of useful for me
Was to get like a...
I don't want to say study group
Because that's not the right vernacular
But like a...
Like a shared pain group
Who will guilt you if you don't study
Yeah, the hardest class I had
Growing up with theater history
And I actually had a study group
For that one, and I felt like pretty lame about it
As well I should have a study group
What is it, 1930?
That worked out well for me
So if you get somebody who will say
Like if you make a study appointment with somebody
Like a few days before and say
Hey, we're gonna study on Tuesday
Let's just study
Then you will keep that appointment
In theory
Gotta get accountability
Gotta be accountable
Gotta get that...
Yahoo Answers user rock
Just says...
That's spelled R-A-Q by the way
I'm figuring that's how he prefers
To be pronounced
Hey, need a film, not anything like the lake house
Or that sort
Desperate for something big to watch
Anything for a 15 year old girl?
But not...
But not in the wheelhouse
Of the lake house
So the only
Parameters
Set on his choice
Might I suggest
The lake house?
No, wait, fuck!
You choked, you choked, Mackerel
Not the lake house
Anything but the lake house
Maybe something that
Maybe walk in the clouds?
Maybe
That's got Keanu
I'm trying to think of other Keanu Reeves
Time travel based romcoms
Oh, Bill and Ted's excellent love affair
Excellent love affair
Bill and Ted's most tender
Engagement
Travel through time
Kiss and George Carlin
This question is troubling to me
Because of the addendum
I'm desperate for something different to watch
Which makes me think
This is a 15 year old girl
Who her entire life
The only film she's ever watched
Is the lake house
I would say
The Jurassic Park films
That would probably be a good place to start
Have you tried Titanic?
You've never seen any movies
I don't know where to start with you
Have you tried anything else?
Not that she hasn't seen any movies
She done seen the lake house
Don't even try to quote lake house to her
She knows all the lines
All the classic lines
I've got a time traveling mailbox
Whoa
I live in a house by the lake
That really is the worst movie I've heard
You watched it
Yeah, I watched it
That's good
I hate you
Another one from Formspring
I fall in love with every girl
That pays attention to me
Is this normal?
If you're fat
Fair
Am I right?
I don't know
I get it
If you've been single for long enough
I don't think that's such a
Ridiculous feature
It was actually something
I just learned in the last year
To not view every female
That I meet as a potential
Love interest
Oh just now?
Yeah, just like a year ago
Sometimes you can just
Be friends with a girl
And you don't have to
Be romantically involved
It's really freeing
Yeah now you can't do that
But I see what you're getting at
Maybe you've never seen a film called
When Harry Met Sally
Or the lake house
That's all I've seen
That might be a good one
Go see When Harry Met Sally
You say Billy Crystals
I don't think you should
Fall in love with every girl
That pays attention to you anymore
No
It's my advice
Because it's not healthy
No, it's not healthy
It's a losers game
You're a worthwhile person
You have great taste in podcasts
You don't need to fall in love
With every girl that pays attention to you
And also look at it this way
If you fall in love with every girl
That pays attention to you
That's desirable to women
Because they don't want that dude
They want someone who is funny
And aloof and not desperately trying
To get the attention of every woman
That pays attention to him
Play a cool hot shot
I've got a bad problem
Of falling in love with every girl
That's pretty on my TV box
Every girl I see on my TV box
That I think is pretty
Just instant infatuation
Like Lauren Bacall
Don't get me started
About Flow
Those progressive commercials
She's my favorite
She is a cutie
And
You know she's got the N
For insurance
She can hook you up
I mean see you Wilson
I guess he's a good enough looking man
But I would hop on the flow wagon
Without a thought
You would with very little hesitation
Oh
Wow from downtown
He sinks it
Gretzky chokes on the open net
My wife and I are expecting
First child in a month
She wants some songs that would be good to listen to
In the delivery room
Can you give me some great tracks for this special occasion
That's from Thomas via Gmail
No I think we could come up with something
Oh man Z's
I read this question earlier
And I came up with a really great solution
For the
Longer portion
The more drawn out portion
When she actually gets posted up in the room
And starts squishing out the baby
You put on something soothing
Something mellow
Something like iron and wines
Double sided LP
Around the well
Something to bring the mood down
And then
Right when she starts crowning
Thunderstruck
Wow
So I was going along the same idea
Nazareth
Hair of the dog
Now you're messing with a
Son of a bitch
I think that's the best way for a baby to enter the world
How did that go again?
I don't want to do that again
I don't think you can do better than Thunderstruck
Like if you guys want to try and come at me with something else
But Thunderstruck would be the most trial and error
How about with Arms Wide Open by Creed
Fuck you with that
Bring a baby in the world
Get out of here
Fuck you with that
The obvious answer by the way
For the special mode of tower
Is black hole sun
Oh man
What about
What kid wouldn't want to make a triumph
Into
Hurricane 2000
Obviously
Hurricane 2000 is the way to go
Is that the
What am I thinking
I was thinking of the
The orchestral version of Rock You Like a Hurricane
That is in fact Hurricane 2000
That's what you're talking about
That would be pretty good I guess
It would be perfect
Whatever you pick
Shake it at the knees
And then she would really be shaking at the knees
And a baby would come out
Thomas whatever you pick
Make sure you sing it to her
She'll really appreciate it
Make sure it's with Arms Wide Open too
She'll dig it
Formspring asks
My girlfriend gets a little upset that I don't tend to hug her at night
In bed
I explained I just need my own space to get to sleep
But I don't think it made her feel better
How can I keep my own bed space and avoid hurting her feelings
I think that
You should go
With the
It depends on how quickly she falls asleep
See my wife likes to cuddle in bed
But I don't like to touch anything
While I'm sleeping
It has a hover chamber
He just gets in and he just shuts down
For the night
I snuggle her until she falls asleep
And then I dog pound her out of that side of the bed
Check out my other side of the bed
And if I'm lucky
I'll have hit a real cool spot on the pillow
Got a real cool spot going
Because I've been relocated for so long
What I like to do is just straight up cuddle
Cuddle cuddle cuddle and then say
Hey I'm going to sleep now and then roll over
So she gets the cuddles and then it's your turn
And then it's your time for sleeping
I've never been married
So I don't know what it's like to sleep in the same bed
As a woman
That's my good boy
Onward Christian soldiers
Onward Christian
What? Here's one from Yahoo
Yahoo? Yeah
Yahoo answers user Musso
Which may be
The twin brother of Justin Russo
Yeah or
Popular children's singer Mitchell Musso
From the hit show Hannah Montana
You know they're the same person right?
Yeah what?
Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus or Justin Russo and Musso
Musso Russo
I think it's Justin Russo and Hannah Montana
Yeah well
Okay go ahead
Which is a better name for a character
Here's another fun little naming game
I'm torn between
Jaden and Jacob
Either way his name is shortened
To Jay
My character is 15 years old
And is growing up in England
He comes from a middle class background yet
Smokes weed is a teenage Casanova
And basically a rebel without a cause
Get out of here
Which name would suit him better and why
The only reason I didn't go for Jacob
Which was my first choice was because of the werewolf character
From the Twilight series
But my book is nothing like Twilight
Nothing
Oh
Basically
This guy is a rebel without a cause
More or less
Basically more or less
Just don't get in his way
Mr. Cause you don't like Jason Jaden
When he's angry
Boy golly
I like any character that's defined as
He's from a middle class background
But he smokes weed every day
As though those two things are mutually exclusive
Yeah
He's middle class but he'll still smoke some weed
He's the narcotic of the proletarians
What do you want him to smoke in middle class
Is a middle class white guy
Who will
Wear some khakis
Whatever not a big deal
He's a free thinker
I think your book sounds shitty
I wouldn't
I wouldn't read it
I don't see what the concern is with what the character's name is
But to answer your question
But Jaden
Obviously Jaden
The world has too many Jason's already
J Jacobs
Jason
Jada Kiss
Jada Pickett Smith
Desiree
Gotta be bad
Gotta be bold
Who's that one guy
Who's saying with his shirt off
Black and white video
You said Fred
What are you talking about
You know
Not Seal
He had his shirt off in the Desiree video
No, he's like
He's sorta like Desiree
You gotta give me a song or I can't
Kinda like Jaden Kiss
You gotta give me a song or I can't
He's an R&B singer
That's his genre
DeCantris
It'll come to me
Like Caponi is his name
Like Caponi
Jada Kiss
Ludacris is a thing
He's a guy
D'Angelo
Got it
How is that like Caponi
Like Capote
Like Capote
D'Angelo Capote
D'Angelo Capote
Can we keep going
My wife and I
That's the only way I can think to pronounce that for a man
Christian
Christian from Gmail
My wife and I are going to New York
For a week in June, we'll like some advice on
What should we do or not do
What was
What must we
I can do it
I keep waiting for it to arrive
What should we
What must we do
See, eat, buy while we are there
Keep in mind it's our first trip to the US
So everything is brand spanking new to us
God!
Can't imagine
I mean if it's
I think if it's your first trip to the US
There are more staple
US activities that you need to partake in
Before like New York activities
First things first, buy shoes
We got them here
Lousy with them
Also throw some money in the garbage
That's what we do
Get real fat
Get real fat
Buy a new
Very
Consumptive automobile
And just drive it into a building
Get one of those
Vroom Scoot 2011's
They're really fast and they'll just burn that oil
If you want a place to go
To eat, try
Max Brenner Chocolate by the Bald Man
There they have
It's not only delicious and New Yorkie
But
They have a chocolate marshmallow pizza
That really sums up a lot of American values
Welcome to America
Here's your complimentary diabetes
Yeah
I got this lousy t-shirt and diabetes
I would say just go to the nearest
Walmart or Sam's Club
And buy a big box of
Jimmy Dean's breakfast
Corn dogs
And then just eat those the entire time
You're within the borders of our nation
Sorry, no Walmart
In New York
No Walmart in New York
In all of it
In all of the city there's not a single Walmart
They're going to have to leave us
They would have to take a taxi cab
Well maybe you could
Get one under the counter
At a Whole Foods
They deal in shady
So non-whole foods
You gotta pay a premium
Talk to Jerry, the guy that sweeps up
He answers the name
Sweepin' Jerry
Sweepin' Jerry's got a beat on a breakfast
Corn dog
Travis wait
What show? Should I see a show?
Um, god
I wish I knew any shows on Broadway right now
What show gets the T-Sack seal of approval?
What about the Adams family?
That means Elaine's always a delight
Is Kat still on Broadway?
It is
Yeah, go see that
They changed the name to Miss Saigon
Kat said it, right?
Yeah, there's lots of Kat
I feel like there is something on Broadway right now
That I heard about and was like
Oh, that sounds so dope
But it's like a show about a musician
Or something
Oh, yeah
D'Angelo
That was it
Wicked
The Adams family
You're Googling
You know what, go see Blue Man Group
I saw Blue Man Group
That shit's incredible
What if they're shirtless and it's black and white
And they're singing R&B songs, maybe
And also, it's called D'Angelo in the musical
So
Max writes to us from Gmail
He's kind of a wordy chap
He says, I'm taking a real shine to a girl
Every 20-year-old who writes our program
Is a 70-year-old man
I just wanted to get that out
I'm taking a real shine to a girl
I fancy a young lady
I fancy a young lady
I like the...
Her bustle
She has the best Lindy hop in the Tri-County area
I'm taking a real shine to a girl I know
And after thinking about whether I have a chance or not
I'm feeling inspired by your advice on the show
Have decided to go to go
Oh, that is your first mistake
After some friendly banter, she asked if I was doing anything later
Yes, and we soon arranged to meet later in the evening
Yeah
Okay
You're welcome
Tell your kids about us
And let us know or name them after us
More accurately
Thing is, I'm not 100% certain this is a date
Don't be wrong
By all accounts, this seems like one when you read it back
Indeed
But this is one of those girls who has a naturally
Flirtatious demeanor
Meaning it could just be a friendly meetup
Here comes the real problem
I prefer to keep this meeting on the down low
So I can ascertain the truth of the matter
And not have it announced to our social circle
Well, I'm trying to court this girl
Well, Max, I know you're fucking first
Problem, buddy
Maybe I... Does your social circle listen to our podcast?
Cause this is a bad start
Probably not, let's be realistic
Yeah
If not, then you've got an even bigger problem
And then still you haven't
You haven't shared this with your loved ones
I think
And maybe this is just me
I don't know how the young people are today
I don't know the...
There are various social
Codes, signals
They send to each other
It's all online now
See, I was afraid of that
I think that if you
Make an appointment to do something
It's a date
With a lady and a guy
Just by themselves, it's a date
Like if you...
If she invites along other friends
Or suggests that you invite
Along other people, it's not a date
But if she's saying, let's just do this, you and me
You gotta assume it's a date
It's on her, if it's not a date
Do not spend the entire day trying to figure out
If it's a date or not, or you will fuck it up
You will fuck it up, bro
You will probably be better off
If you act like it's not a date
Because
That will keep the confidence high
You won't feel like pressure like
Should I hold her hand?
Should I kiss her?
Should I hold her kiss?
Jayda Kiss, D'Angelo
All the questions that seem to be young man's
Mind
Should I take her to see the lake house again?
That's the only movie she's ever seen
What other movies are there?
I take a much more backwards approach
To my social engagements
Where at the end of any
Social engagement I partake in
I try and kiss the other party
And if they take it
Then I will know in retrospect
That it was a date, and if they fight me off
Then
I know the truth
It was really awkward when Griffin got his taxes done
Well, I don't know
Because my H&R block representative
She was fantastic
The weirdest was when he was baptized
And he's had them all over the world
As far as your friends finding out
Um
You know, don't worry about it
They'll grow up and if they're dicks
Don't worry about it
It'll be cool
Just don't adhere to any labels man
Keep that secret
It doesn't matter if it's a quote unquote date or not
Or if it's just a friendly hangout
If it turns into love
It's by less pressure
If it's not a date
Then you can just hang out
Seriously, if you don't hang out with her
Treat it like it's a friendship
And if you don't like spending time with her
In that context
Then you probably don't want to do it again anyway
And honestly, if you like spending time with her
If you don't act like it's a date
You could probably preserve the friendship easier
If it doesn't work out
Actually, that's a great point
Because we get asked a lot about friend zone
No one that actually likes you
Romantically puts you in the friend zone
So there's no concern of
I became too good of friends with this person
And now they don't want to date me
No, they didn't want to date you before
And they just wanted to be friends with you
And hey, this goes for him
And Max and everybody
Let us know how this stuff works out
If you follow our advice
Not that we recommend you do that
Or anything else we've ever told you to do
Anything else we've ever told you to do
Yahoo! Questions user
Simmons, a.k.a.
That guy
Asks in all caps
Help my little baby sister
Drink beer!
Hi
One of my little baby sisters
Who was 11 months old just drank some beer
She didn't drink a lot and she doesn't seem affected by it
But my mom is freaking out and yelling at all of us
But Anne, but I think she is fine
And my mom doesn't think so
Can anyone help and no bullshit serious answers only
Take her keys away
That baby has
No shape to be driving
This is another
One of those times where we have to remind you
Of the right time
To call poison control
And the right time to ask Yahoo!
Answers what you should do about your situation
Cause it's not now
Babies think they can party
Babies don't got shit
These babies come up here
They think that they can roll with the big dogs
Trying to stab
I don't think humans get livers until they are like three
You gotta earn that shit
Where is that beer going
Inside of that baby's gully
Works
I think we are missing some important
What beer?
That's another big
What did you let her have first
Did you let her have some high life
If it's like a heady dogfish stout
And that baby is dunzo
That baby is out
My baby sister just slammed her
Rasputin
What if she had a PBR
You got hipster baby
Hope you can find really small
Horned glasses
Planned shirts
Tiny fixie tricycle
These jeans don't come any smaller
I'm sorry
You'll have to go to the my buddy isle
To find smaller jeans
For tight, tight hipster babies
Tight, tight hipster jeans
At the jimboree
But seriously
Go to a hospital I think
Have her drink a glass of water
And an ibuprofen
And a glass of water in the morning
And she'll be fine
Also film that shit
And put it on youtube
My party baby
Did you guys hear about
Josh
His problem
He wrote to us gmail
Question our answer
Coming soon
Just found out my ex cheated on me
When we were still together
What's the best way to set a person aflame
I think you gotta play in one of the hits of
D'Angelo
And doesn't watch their heart light up
Right? Does he mean literal?
Yeah I was gonna say literally
Fire
But
Fire and some sort of flammable oils
They gotta be asleep
That's so important
Or unconscious in some way
Yeah they can't just like start
Never work
You will be shocked at how quickly a motivated man
Can put out a fire
Josh let me drop something on you
That jerry springer dropped on me when I was 12
A bottle of beer
A bottle of beer
That is one of the wise jerry's
Final thoughts was
If someone will cheat on someone
To be with you
Then they will cheat on you to be with someone else
So drop that knowledge on her new boyfriend
Like listen dude
I don't know what makes you think she wouldn't cheat on you
She cheated on me have a great day
Bye
And then dip
That's possible
Maybe you just didn't love her hard enough
Yeah I know that's kind of a
I know that's
That's a harsh reality but
Did you love her as hard as you possibly could
You know what you just said she's your ex
Who cares man let it go
Move on
And Griffin you made a great point too
No girl cheats on someone
Or nobody cheats on someone they're happy with
You know what I mean
Unless they get drunk at their office party
Unless they get drunk at their office party
Or the someone is profoundly physically attracted
Also that
And that's another thing I'm just gonna
Heads up real quick listeners
We appreciate questions
And we appreciate input and we appreciate you listening
Questions about how to get
People with boyfriends and girlfriends
To sleep with you
Not really
Our expertise or something we're going to
Address
Not cool just be cool
That's the number one advice of Mubby Bam
Just don't hate
I'm just gonna give you an in general answer to those questions
Question
My friend has a girlfriend I want to sleep with
What do I do? Answer
Realize he's not really your friend
You guys maybe aren't as close
As you thought
Joseph has a conundrum
There's a girl he works with
Who he met while she was
Reading about the new Pokemon game
That got the conversation
Started
Now I'm at a loss for what to do next
Should I just go for it and ask her out
I'm really bad at the asking out part
What should I do
What should I ask her out to
Dinner or something else
Man hold on
I'm just going ahead
I think maybe you could arrange
Some sort of series of romantic Pokemon battles
Right
Do you know what I'm saying
Maybe kind of sexy Pokemon battles
That could be the way that you ask her out
If my Charizard topples your Venusaur
How do you feel about a little Squirtle
And of course you will
Because her Venusaur will be weak to your Charizard's fire attacks
That's all I can do
That's all I can summon up
I can't do anymore
I think that
Ask her about your Pokeballs
Oh Jesus
You could um
You could just ask her if you
You two want to meet up the next day
With your Anonymous meeting
Or figure you could try that
Ask her how her collection of cats is doing
I'm trying to make fun of this guy
But honestly
I feel like his email is pretty much just sort of
Got it out there
Yeah
I mean I don't want to make fun of him
We just said that it's a good
Reason to have a relationship with somebody
If you both dig Pokemon
We can poke fun all we want
Dude met a girl
What's up beautiful
Keep the human race going
If you had the courage to email
A podcast
To ask them how to ask out a girl
Who your only contact with her
Is Pokemon related
I don't think you'll have any problem
Mustering up the courage to ask her out
Your balls are huge dude
Your Pokeballs
Penis are enormous
You could see your Pokeballs from space
And let me give you this fight
It doesn't matter what you do
It doesn't matter what you ask her out to do
As long as you have fun
As long as it is interesting
Be interested in her
The date is not important
The experience is important
That's what she wants to talk about
What has she recently evolved
You guys are making fun
But dude if you've got that in
If that's your in
It's unconventional
But you've got to fight tooth and nail
For anything you can get
And you have the best
Nerd point argument ever
Well I disagree because
I met a girl
And you will win every nerd argument like that
Joseph if I could just
Give you one other piece of advice before I move on
Hold on to this one real tight
Just really
Trust me on this one
Don't let her go
We don't know how many more times
This opportunity is going to present itself
By which we mean none
So just really hold on to this one
Just hold on tight
Make it work
Trust me make it work
Make it work
Gordo
That's a great name
Gordo asks on gmail
I am super whipped by my girlfriend
And generally despised my life
My brother and friends say I'm more whipped
Than even the most whipped guy on TV
What?
No that's a good metric
Haven't you seen the new reality show
The most whipped guy
I would break up with her
There are two trips that include her
What do I do?
Stop planning trips
Why do you have more than one trip planned?
Step one
Start dropping subtle hints asking
About refundability of certain trip deposits
Baby know that trip we had planned in 2015
I returned it
Stop planning trips
We got Bonnaroo in June
And then the cruise in September
But so help me God
Um
October rolls around
Um you gotta
Listen man trust me on this one
Trust me
If you get to a point where you think
I want to break up with somebody
Get in a car
Find them and do it right then
Cause there's not a second of your life
You're not gonna spend worrying about it until then
And as soon as you do it
You will feel so much better
And you are not doing them any favors by waiting
Yeah don't go on the trips
Because then like okay
Let's say you got a romantic cabin trip
Plan for this weekend right
You're gonna go on that cabin trip next weekend
You say I think we should break up
Oh man that cabin trip
That you just went on is completely
Invalidated like it never happened
Even worse even worse
You're gonna say nice things on that cabin trip
You're not gonna sit on the opposite
You're gonna say like baby I love you
And then the next week break up with her
That's gonna make it messy dude
And the thing is a lot of people shy away from break ups
Cause like oh it's gonna be messy
Every break up is messy
It gets better the sooner you do it
It starts healing immediately afterwards
So the longer you put it off
The worse it's going to be
I know it sucks man
I know it sucks you gotta do it
Don't waste any more time
You're wasting your life
And also your money stop planning trips
Stop planning trips
My email says how do I comment
On my wife's terrible new haircut without lying
Yeah let me feed this one for you Aaron
You ready?
Get close
Lie
Glad I could help
Rob on Gmail
I'm having a baby girl in June
My first
We have a first name
Picked out but haven't chosen a middle
What do you think of the middle name
Danger for a girl
Your wife doesn't know shit
Yeah sorry Rob
But those two things
Shouldn't associate with each other
At all
I generally have a baby naming
Rule and that is that naming
Your baby is not an opportunity
For self expression
Cause your kid has to live with it
For the rest of her life
That being said
Danger as a middle name
Is badass
I say do it
You are raising the sort of person
Where
That's gonna shape their life
Absolutely
They're gonna have to introduce themselves to people
That's gonna come up
They're going to associate with people who think
It's cool that their middle name is danger
And that's a cool crowd
That's the kind of people you want
It'll be great and occasionally
Her wedding day
There will be a lot of people in attendance who don't know her middle name
And the preach will be like
Do you Eliza Danger McCletchens
Take so and so
And everyone in the audience will be like
Danger? Sweet
Is that real? Yeah
Danger? I like it
I'm a big fan of your wife
And if she ever becomes like an international super spy
It's right there
Danger is my middle name
She can actually say I love it
But that joke she's gonna hate that joke
No unless she becomes an adventurer
But even then
The danger is my middle name thing
People are going to say that to her at parties
And she will get sick of it after the second time
That might get a little old actually
I'm saying that the word itself
The concept of danger
As a moniker is so strong
Yeah
What about adventure?
Excitement
Punctuality
Monkey shines my middle name
What's the best way to
What's this from Maverick
89
What's the best way to remember stuff you've forgotten
This question is so paradoxical
I've been thinking about it all day
And I can't
I forgot to think about it
What? No come on
I first creed
Now this
I do what I can
Listen it's been an off week
I think you're seeing this
Yeah sit down in the dark
You just gotta turn on the AC
It's low as it goes
High as it goes
Make the temperature
As close to zero as you can get it
Ice down? Ice?
Cover your body in ice and oils
Icy oil
Think as hard as you possibly can
About some old shit
That happens to you
Back there
Cause you got shit back there
That happened to you
With you
You have memories in there
Cobwebs
You gotta get back there with the oils
Just dust them out
So what you gotta do is
You gotta pop some ginkgo
Drink a Shasta
Get in the dark and just sit and get it out
Watch some old movies
Watch a movie that was created in the year
That you were born
Think
Were you born in 1997?
Like The Lake House?
That movie came out in like
2005
Sorry Don, I'm not back
I forgot
No but for real
Ginkgo it up
If you're talking about something
I was gonna say something
And I can't remember it
Retrace what you were talking about
Or just stop thinking about it
The more you try to think about it
The more you're going to think about thinking about it
And not actually remember it
As humans we have a short-term memory and a long-term memory
And getting things to transition
From short-term to long-term memory is a process
Didn't you hear
The part with the ginkgo
And the ice, did you think that that pretty well covered it?
I answered this question pretty
I feel like he's probably already remembered it
He's probably stopped listening already
Maybe he was trying to remember to unsubscribe
Maybe he can blame him
I know, I can't
Dude, it's Coke
Asks us via Twitter
Big news!
After three years with my girlfriend
I feel it's time to make the leap
And ask for her hand
Any suggestions to make it memorable
Alright guys, let's do it
First of all, congratulations
Let's do it
Susan or Marie
Oh god, it's our first
Okay, okay
I know, I'm really nervous
Susan or Marie
Or Ellen
Let's just say baby
Hey baby
We've been
Dude, it's Coke's been with you for three years now
Three long years
Over 1,000 days of pure
Bliss
525,600
times
You went on some dates
You had some good times
Many each other, many each other's parents and friends
You all get along really well
He's been true to you
He's been there for you
He's got a really, really important question
to ask
Do it, Dude, it's Coke
Yeah!
Alright, great job
Wait, let's do the second one
It's like a choose your own adventure
Reaction
Right?
She says no
Dude, it's Coke, that's rough, man
That's tough, that's tough, buddy
Hey, listen, there's so many other fish left in the sea
Yeah, don't even worry about it
Don't even worry about it
Because that's not gonna work out
Nope, it's over
You had your shot and you blew it
You blew it
You blew it
But if you did it and it worked, congratulations
Yay!
Yes, I'm sure she did
Because those kids are so, so in love
Unless she didn't, now if she didn't
She didn't
That is too bad
But uh, congratulations
Congratulations, or fuck you
Fuck you, fuck that bitch
She never knew you, she didn't deserve you
It's Coke
She didn't know you like we do
Fuck her
Or congratulations
We hope we get invited to the wedding
Thanks for inviting us
Beforehand, I want to thank you
In advance for inviting us
To the wedding
Let's shut this bitch down
Or, or
Fuck her
Okay, I want Griffin
To tell us his last
Super important question
But first, I want to remind you
Of all the different ways you can seek out our wisdom
For your very own
You can visit
mbmbam.com
That's a great place to start
In case you forget about any of these methods
Great website, all kinds of flash names
Fun for the kids
Social networking
MP3s, data
JPEGs and photos
Smiley faces hidden
Can you find it? Easter eggs
You can
Hit us up on Twitter
Either do at mbmbam
Or we like pound sign
We see a lot of people
I see a lot of people quoting lines from the show
With that tag on Twitter
That makes me really happy
Means we're reaching people
For once, reaching out
We're reaching into them
And we're changing their minds
Inside out
There's a form spring, of course
There's a link to that on mbmbam.com
Sorry
That lost wasn't, the finale wasn't as good
As you'd hoped or disappointed to
Unless it was awesome
Please subscribe
Get a friend, maybe today, maybe tomorrow
Say
Listen, I've got a show, a hit show, a hot show
That you've just got to listen to
With me
And then hold their hand, go on the journey of a lifetime
And if you are on Facebook
Look for the
mbmbam
Appreciation group
Everyone on there is wonderful
We try to release as much news on there as we can
So check that out
For late breaking up the minute
mbmbam news
And email at us
Also, that's a good one
That's the best one, mbmbam
At gmail.com
That's a good way to do it
Last question of the day
This one comes from
Yahoo Answers user James
Who asks
Do you think I have Pepsi stuck in my lungs?
What should I do?
I'm Justin McElroy
I'm Travis McElroy
I'm Griffin McElroy
And this has been my brother
My brother
And Nate
I want to give you something great today
I want to give you something great today
I want to give you something great today
I want to give you something great today
I want to give you something great today
I want to give you something great today
I want to give you something great today
I want to give you something great today
Yeah