My Brother, My Brother And Me - My Brother, My Brother and Me: Episode 07

Episode Date: May 24, 2010

Our plate is heaping with questions on this week's show, covering a wide variety of issues and problems. Fortunately, we're hungry. For questions. Which we'll dip into our economy-sized vat of Sweet A...nswer Dippin' Sauce, and instantly devour. Romantic troubles? Chomp. Workplace drama? Munch. Just found out you were born a woman, but were surgically rendered a man when you were two years old? Delicious. Suggested talking points: Musical girlfriend, customer love, The Lake House, Flo-rida, Babystruck, Rebel Without a Cause, Beerbabies, D'Angelo, Deep remembrance, an MBMBAM proposal.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 If you change your mind On the first in line Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me If you need me Let me know Gonna be around If you got your place to go
Starting point is 00:00:16 When you feel it now If you're all alone When the pretty birds have come Honey, I'm still free You've done it, you've succeeded You've engaged in the right series of Clicks and types And taps that make the
Starting point is 00:00:32 My brother and my brother And the advice show from Modern Air Come out of your speakers Or headphones Or cans with string I am Of course, Justin McElroy I am the oldest McElroy brother
Starting point is 00:00:48 I am Travis McElroy And I am the middleist McElroy brother You can't get more middle than Travis I'm Griffin McElroy And I'm the adopted McElroy brother I was gonna bring it up this episode if you didn't You already have Real brother, thank you for joining me again
Starting point is 00:01:04 No problem Adopted brother, you didn't have much of a choice Right You'd put me back in the cellar Back to the cellar with you, dum-dum Words hurt Words hurt Words do hurt
Starting point is 00:01:20 Our first question Comes just from Forbes Spring If you need advice You can find out how to get it at the end of the program Dear MBMBAM Have you ever fallen in love with a girl For her taste in music
Starting point is 00:01:36 A girl started making me Mixed CDs that were surprising And addictingly good And now I am in love But maybe just because of the mix I ask, is there anything wrong with this? There ain't nothing wrong with a music girlfriend Not on the short term, my man
Starting point is 00:01:52 Yeah, that ain't gonna last long But you can get some sweet burn CDs from her Most of my collegiate musical taste Came from a girlfriend that I had My freshman year of college that burned me Like four MP3 CDs Not even audio CDs We're talking like Googles and Googles of music
Starting point is 00:02:08 That I still listen to to this day Wait, Googles? Google bits It's not gonna last long unless the song that unites The two of you is Crazy Game of Poker Man, that song never ends Once again, this is one of those questions where If you're in high school
Starting point is 00:02:24 Yeah, no, that's perfectly fine If you're 45, it's It's time to get your ass together, man Yeah I don't think there's anything wrong with judging a person Based on their musical taste I think that says a lot about a person I think everybody has that quality
Starting point is 00:02:40 Like for me, it's TV shows and movies And I think for other people, it's like video games And music and books and magazines There's always gonna be that one thing that Sparks our interest Just build off of that For me, it's Pogs For finding a lady with a fine collection of Pogs
Starting point is 00:02:56 And maybe some really heavy alloy slammers Just really nice slammers Look at the slammers on her Wow, look at her slammers Ozeta, did you mon on there? Nice So in closing It's a fine reason to start a relationship And a terrible reason to continue one
Starting point is 00:03:12 There it is Another one from Formspring There's some place that lets you interact With many different people, customers And you're immediately attracted to one of them Is it cool to tell him or her You think they're attractive What's up with those slammers, girl?
Starting point is 00:03:28 Like those slammers I see across the register I'm gonna have to go with Travis on this one No There's no way to avoid being that dude Who's like, even if you're the nicest guy in the world There's no way When you're wearing khakis Work shirt to not sound
Starting point is 00:03:46 Creepy Are you gonna say You're attractive? Cause that's probably creepy But if you're staying with body language And stuff Do you want me to put it in your bag? You're attractive I'm attracted to you
Starting point is 00:04:02 I'm attracted to you Your body, your face is setting off chemical reactions Inside of my body That finds you very desirable My aesthetic sense is inflamed It's one of those things where Yeah, if you're just paying a compliment Great, it ain't going anywhere
Starting point is 00:04:20 But you might make them feel better Maybe you can use that to get ahead in your business Right? Like if you're a real estate agent Like maybe show a little bit of the cleave And then What's up? Yeah, what's up Confession time I once asked a girl out when I was working a waiter
Starting point is 00:04:36 Job and I asked her out for you Like We went out once And it was awful It was quite terrible Sounds bad Yeah, so I personally don't recommend it
Starting point is 00:04:52 Also, I felt like the creepiest creep out ever It was good Yeah, and I did Even as I did it, I was trying to justify it You can't, I'm surprised The girl showed up and didn't just call Chris Hansen Cause it was creepy time Because she was 12 years old
Starting point is 00:05:08 She was also 12 You know, this is also Like so much of our advice It's highly Contextual dependent upon whether or not You yourself are very physically Tracked Yeah, if you're
Starting point is 00:05:24 Super attractive, super handsome dude Or a super bodacious lady With just real nice slammers Like you are always Going to be on the right path By telling people that you find them attractive It's always acceptable If you're very, very physically attractive
Starting point is 00:05:40 Sweet, sweet slammers Just the sweetest Hi, brothers Hi, I have a problem I can't start studying for a test Until the day before What should I do to start earlier? You've come to the wrong place
Starting point is 00:05:56 You know, how about this Hey, bitch, just start earlier Just do the thing Do the thing you asked how to do You understand the concept of earlier So pick a time Before the time you normally do it and do it then They'll do it now
Starting point is 00:06:12 Do it yesterday Now that being said I do the same thing Or I did the same thing Because I retained the knowledge better In a short In a block before the test Rather than trying to study all week
Starting point is 00:06:28 I couldn't hold it in my head that long Bullshit The only thing I think you can do Which proved to be kind of useful for me Was to get like a... I don't want to say study group Because that's not the right vernacular But like a...
Starting point is 00:06:44 Like a shared pain group Who will guilt you if you don't study Yeah, the hardest class I had Growing up with theater history And I actually had a study group For that one, and I felt like pretty lame about it As well I should have a study group What is it, 1930?
Starting point is 00:07:00 That worked out well for me So if you get somebody who will say Like if you make a study appointment with somebody Like a few days before and say Hey, we're gonna study on Tuesday Let's just study Then you will keep that appointment In theory
Starting point is 00:07:16 Gotta get accountability Gotta be accountable Gotta get that... Yahoo Answers user rock Just says... That's spelled R-A-Q by the way I'm figuring that's how he prefers To be pronounced
Starting point is 00:07:32 Hey, need a film, not anything like the lake house Or that sort Desperate for something big to watch Anything for a 15 year old girl? But not... But not in the wheelhouse Of the lake house So the only
Starting point is 00:07:50 Parameters Set on his choice Might I suggest The lake house? No, wait, fuck! You choked, you choked, Mackerel Not the lake house Anything but the lake house
Starting point is 00:08:06 Maybe something that Maybe walk in the clouds? Maybe That's got Keanu I'm trying to think of other Keanu Reeves Time travel based romcoms Oh, Bill and Ted's excellent love affair Excellent love affair
Starting point is 00:08:24 Bill and Ted's most tender Engagement Travel through time Kiss and George Carlin This question is troubling to me Because of the addendum I'm desperate for something different to watch Which makes me think
Starting point is 00:08:44 This is a 15 year old girl Who her entire life The only film she's ever watched Is the lake house I would say The Jurassic Park films That would probably be a good place to start Have you tried Titanic?
Starting point is 00:09:00 You've never seen any movies I don't know where to start with you Have you tried anything else? Not that she hasn't seen any movies She done seen the lake house Don't even try to quote lake house to her She knows all the lines All the classic lines
Starting point is 00:09:16 I've got a time traveling mailbox Whoa I live in a house by the lake That really is the worst movie I've heard You watched it Yeah, I watched it That's good I hate you
Starting point is 00:09:32 Another one from Formspring I fall in love with every girl That pays attention to me Is this normal? If you're fat Fair Am I right? I don't know
Starting point is 00:09:48 I get it If you've been single for long enough I don't think that's such a Ridiculous feature It was actually something I just learned in the last year To not view every female That I meet as a potential
Starting point is 00:10:04 Love interest Oh just now? Yeah, just like a year ago Sometimes you can just Be friends with a girl And you don't have to Be romantically involved It's really freeing
Starting point is 00:10:20 Yeah now you can't do that But I see what you're getting at Maybe you've never seen a film called When Harry Met Sally Or the lake house That's all I've seen That might be a good one Go see When Harry Met Sally
Starting point is 00:10:36 You say Billy Crystals I don't think you should Fall in love with every girl That pays attention to you anymore No It's my advice Because it's not healthy No, it's not healthy
Starting point is 00:10:52 It's a losers game You're a worthwhile person You have great taste in podcasts You don't need to fall in love With every girl that pays attention to you And also look at it this way If you fall in love with every girl That pays attention to you
Starting point is 00:11:08 That's desirable to women Because they don't want that dude They want someone who is funny And aloof and not desperately trying To get the attention of every woman That pays attention to him Play a cool hot shot I've got a bad problem
Starting point is 00:11:24 Of falling in love with every girl That's pretty on my TV box Every girl I see on my TV box That I think is pretty Just instant infatuation Like Lauren Bacall Don't get me started About Flow
Starting point is 00:11:40 Those progressive commercials She's my favorite She is a cutie And You know she's got the N For insurance She can hook you up I mean see you Wilson
Starting point is 00:11:56 I guess he's a good enough looking man But I would hop on the flow wagon Without a thought You would with very little hesitation Oh Wow from downtown He sinks it Gretzky chokes on the open net
Starting point is 00:12:12 My wife and I are expecting First child in a month She wants some songs that would be good to listen to In the delivery room Can you give me some great tracks for this special occasion That's from Thomas via Gmail No I think we could come up with something Oh man Z's
Starting point is 00:12:28 I read this question earlier And I came up with a really great solution For the Longer portion The more drawn out portion When she actually gets posted up in the room And starts squishing out the baby You put on something soothing
Starting point is 00:12:44 Something mellow Something like iron and wines Double sided LP Around the well Something to bring the mood down And then Right when she starts crowning Thunderstruck
Starting point is 00:13:00 Wow So I was going along the same idea Nazareth Hair of the dog Now you're messing with a Son of a bitch I think that's the best way for a baby to enter the world How did that go again?
Starting point is 00:13:16 I don't want to do that again I don't think you can do better than Thunderstruck Like if you guys want to try and come at me with something else But Thunderstruck would be the most trial and error How about with Arms Wide Open by Creed Fuck you with that Bring a baby in the world Get out of here
Starting point is 00:13:32 Fuck you with that The obvious answer by the way For the special mode of tower Is black hole sun Oh man What about What kid wouldn't want to make a triumph Into
Starting point is 00:13:48 Hurricane 2000 Obviously Hurricane 2000 is the way to go Is that the What am I thinking I was thinking of the The orchestral version of Rock You Like a Hurricane That is in fact Hurricane 2000
Starting point is 00:14:04 That's what you're talking about That would be pretty good I guess It would be perfect Whatever you pick Shake it at the knees And then she would really be shaking at the knees And a baby would come out Thomas whatever you pick
Starting point is 00:14:20 Make sure you sing it to her She'll really appreciate it Make sure it's with Arms Wide Open too She'll dig it Formspring asks My girlfriend gets a little upset that I don't tend to hug her at night In bed I explained I just need my own space to get to sleep
Starting point is 00:14:36 But I don't think it made her feel better How can I keep my own bed space and avoid hurting her feelings I think that You should go With the It depends on how quickly she falls asleep See my wife likes to cuddle in bed But I don't like to touch anything
Starting point is 00:14:56 While I'm sleeping It has a hover chamber He just gets in and he just shuts down For the night I snuggle her until she falls asleep And then I dog pound her out of that side of the bed Check out my other side of the bed And if I'm lucky
Starting point is 00:15:12 I'll have hit a real cool spot on the pillow Got a real cool spot going Because I've been relocated for so long What I like to do is just straight up cuddle Cuddle cuddle cuddle and then say Hey I'm going to sleep now and then roll over So she gets the cuddles and then it's your turn And then it's your time for sleeping
Starting point is 00:15:28 I've never been married So I don't know what it's like to sleep in the same bed As a woman That's my good boy Onward Christian soldiers Onward Christian What? Here's one from Yahoo Yahoo? Yeah
Starting point is 00:15:44 Yahoo answers user Musso Which may be The twin brother of Justin Russo Yeah or Popular children's singer Mitchell Musso From the hit show Hannah Montana You know they're the same person right? Yeah what?
Starting point is 00:16:00 Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus or Justin Russo and Musso Musso Russo I think it's Justin Russo and Hannah Montana Yeah well Okay go ahead Which is a better name for a character Here's another fun little naming game I'm torn between
Starting point is 00:16:16 Jaden and Jacob Either way his name is shortened To Jay My character is 15 years old And is growing up in England He comes from a middle class background yet Smokes weed is a teenage Casanova And basically a rebel without a cause
Starting point is 00:16:32 Get out of here Which name would suit him better and why The only reason I didn't go for Jacob Which was my first choice was because of the werewolf character From the Twilight series But my book is nothing like Twilight Nothing Oh
Starting point is 00:16:48 Basically This guy is a rebel without a cause More or less Basically more or less Just don't get in his way Mr. Cause you don't like Jason Jaden When he's angry Boy golly
Starting point is 00:17:04 I like any character that's defined as He's from a middle class background But he smokes weed every day As though those two things are mutually exclusive Yeah He's middle class but he'll still smoke some weed He's the narcotic of the proletarians What do you want him to smoke in middle class
Starting point is 00:17:22 Is a middle class white guy Who will Wear some khakis Whatever not a big deal He's a free thinker I think your book sounds shitty I wouldn't I wouldn't read it
Starting point is 00:17:38 I don't see what the concern is with what the character's name is But to answer your question But Jaden Obviously Jaden The world has too many Jason's already J Jacobs Jason Jada Kiss
Starting point is 00:17:54 Jada Pickett Smith Desiree Gotta be bad Gotta be bold Who's that one guy Who's saying with his shirt off Black and white video You said Fred
Starting point is 00:18:10 What are you talking about You know Not Seal He had his shirt off in the Desiree video No, he's like He's sorta like Desiree You gotta give me a song or I can't Kinda like Jaden Kiss
Starting point is 00:18:26 You gotta give me a song or I can't He's an R&B singer That's his genre DeCantris It'll come to me Like Caponi is his name Like Caponi Jada Kiss
Starting point is 00:18:42 Ludacris is a thing He's a guy D'Angelo Got it How is that like Caponi Like Capote Like Capote D'Angelo Capote
Starting point is 00:18:58 D'Angelo Capote Can we keep going My wife and I That's the only way I can think to pronounce that for a man Christian Christian from Gmail My wife and I are going to New York For a week in June, we'll like some advice on
Starting point is 00:19:14 What should we do or not do What was What must we I can do it I keep waiting for it to arrive What should we What must we do See, eat, buy while we are there
Starting point is 00:19:30 Keep in mind it's our first trip to the US So everything is brand spanking new to us God! Can't imagine I mean if it's I think if it's your first trip to the US There are more staple US activities that you need to partake in
Starting point is 00:19:46 Before like New York activities First things first, buy shoes We got them here Lousy with them Also throw some money in the garbage That's what we do Get real fat Get real fat
Starting point is 00:20:02 Buy a new Very Consumptive automobile And just drive it into a building Get one of those Vroom Scoot 2011's They're really fast and they'll just burn that oil If you want a place to go
Starting point is 00:20:18 To eat, try Max Brenner Chocolate by the Bald Man There they have It's not only delicious and New Yorkie But They have a chocolate marshmallow pizza That really sums up a lot of American values Welcome to America
Starting point is 00:20:34 Here's your complimentary diabetes Yeah I got this lousy t-shirt and diabetes I would say just go to the nearest Walmart or Sam's Club And buy a big box of Jimmy Dean's breakfast Corn dogs
Starting point is 00:20:50 And then just eat those the entire time You're within the borders of our nation Sorry, no Walmart In New York No Walmart in New York In all of it In all of the city there's not a single Walmart They're going to have to leave us
Starting point is 00:21:06 They would have to take a taxi cab Well maybe you could Get one under the counter At a Whole Foods They deal in shady So non-whole foods You gotta pay a premium Talk to Jerry, the guy that sweeps up
Starting point is 00:21:22 He answers the name Sweepin' Jerry Sweepin' Jerry's got a beat on a breakfast Corn dog Travis wait What show? Should I see a show? Um, god I wish I knew any shows on Broadway right now
Starting point is 00:21:38 What show gets the T-Sack seal of approval? What about the Adams family? That means Elaine's always a delight Is Kat still on Broadway? It is Yeah, go see that They changed the name to Miss Saigon Kat said it, right?
Starting point is 00:21:54 Yeah, there's lots of Kat I feel like there is something on Broadway right now That I heard about and was like Oh, that sounds so dope But it's like a show about a musician Or something Oh, yeah D'Angelo
Starting point is 00:22:10 That was it Wicked The Adams family You're Googling You know what, go see Blue Man Group I saw Blue Man Group That shit's incredible What if they're shirtless and it's black and white
Starting point is 00:22:26 And they're singing R&B songs, maybe And also, it's called D'Angelo in the musical So Max writes to us from Gmail He's kind of a wordy chap He says, I'm taking a real shine to a girl Every 20-year-old who writes our program Is a 70-year-old man
Starting point is 00:22:46 I just wanted to get that out I'm taking a real shine to a girl I fancy a young lady I fancy a young lady I like the... Her bustle She has the best Lindy hop in the Tri-County area I'm taking a real shine to a girl I know
Starting point is 00:23:06 And after thinking about whether I have a chance or not I'm feeling inspired by your advice on the show Have decided to go to go Oh, that is your first mistake After some friendly banter, she asked if I was doing anything later Yes, and we soon arranged to meet later in the evening Yeah Okay
Starting point is 00:23:22 You're welcome Tell your kids about us And let us know or name them after us More accurately Thing is, I'm not 100% certain this is a date Don't be wrong By all accounts, this seems like one when you read it back Indeed
Starting point is 00:23:38 But this is one of those girls who has a naturally Flirtatious demeanor Meaning it could just be a friendly meetup Here comes the real problem I prefer to keep this meeting on the down low So I can ascertain the truth of the matter And not have it announced to our social circle Well, I'm trying to court this girl
Starting point is 00:23:54 Well, Max, I know you're fucking first Problem, buddy Maybe I... Does your social circle listen to our podcast? Cause this is a bad start Probably not, let's be realistic Yeah If not, then you've got an even bigger problem And then still you haven't
Starting point is 00:24:10 You haven't shared this with your loved ones I think And maybe this is just me I don't know how the young people are today I don't know the... There are various social Codes, signals They send to each other
Starting point is 00:24:26 It's all online now See, I was afraid of that I think that if you Make an appointment to do something It's a date With a lady and a guy Just by themselves, it's a date Like if you...
Starting point is 00:24:44 If she invites along other friends Or suggests that you invite Along other people, it's not a date But if she's saying, let's just do this, you and me You gotta assume it's a date It's on her, if it's not a date Do not spend the entire day trying to figure out If it's a date or not, or you will fuck it up
Starting point is 00:25:00 You will fuck it up, bro You will probably be better off If you act like it's not a date Because That will keep the confidence high You won't feel like pressure like Should I hold her hand? Should I kiss her?
Starting point is 00:25:16 Should I hold her kiss? Jayda Kiss, D'Angelo All the questions that seem to be young man's Mind Should I take her to see the lake house again? That's the only movie she's ever seen What other movies are there? I take a much more backwards approach
Starting point is 00:25:32 To my social engagements Where at the end of any Social engagement I partake in I try and kiss the other party And if they take it Then I will know in retrospect That it was a date, and if they fight me off Then
Starting point is 00:25:48 I know the truth It was really awkward when Griffin got his taxes done Well, I don't know Because my H&R block representative She was fantastic The weirdest was when he was baptized And he's had them all over the world As far as your friends finding out
Starting point is 00:26:04 Um You know, don't worry about it They'll grow up and if they're dicks Don't worry about it It'll be cool Just don't adhere to any labels man Keep that secret It doesn't matter if it's a quote unquote date or not
Starting point is 00:26:20 Or if it's just a friendly hangout If it turns into love It's by less pressure If it's not a date Then you can just hang out Seriously, if you don't hang out with her Treat it like it's a friendship And if you don't like spending time with her
Starting point is 00:26:36 In that context Then you probably don't want to do it again anyway And honestly, if you like spending time with her If you don't act like it's a date You could probably preserve the friendship easier If it doesn't work out Actually, that's a great point Because we get asked a lot about friend zone
Starting point is 00:26:52 No one that actually likes you Romantically puts you in the friend zone So there's no concern of I became too good of friends with this person And now they don't want to date me No, they didn't want to date you before And they just wanted to be friends with you And hey, this goes for him
Starting point is 00:27:08 And Max and everybody Let us know how this stuff works out If you follow our advice Not that we recommend you do that Or anything else we've ever told you to do Anything else we've ever told you to do Yahoo! Questions user Simmons, a.k.a.
Starting point is 00:27:24 That guy Asks in all caps Help my little baby sister Drink beer! Hi One of my little baby sisters Who was 11 months old just drank some beer She didn't drink a lot and she doesn't seem affected by it
Starting point is 00:27:40 But my mom is freaking out and yelling at all of us But Anne, but I think she is fine And my mom doesn't think so Can anyone help and no bullshit serious answers only Take her keys away That baby has No shape to be driving This is another
Starting point is 00:27:56 One of those times where we have to remind you Of the right time To call poison control And the right time to ask Yahoo! Answers what you should do about your situation Cause it's not now Babies think they can party Babies don't got shit
Starting point is 00:28:12 These babies come up here They think that they can roll with the big dogs Trying to stab I don't think humans get livers until they are like three You gotta earn that shit Where is that beer going Inside of that baby's gully Works
Starting point is 00:28:28 I think we are missing some important What beer? That's another big What did you let her have first Did you let her have some high life If it's like a heady dogfish stout And that baby is dunzo That baby is out
Starting point is 00:28:44 My baby sister just slammed her Rasputin What if she had a PBR You got hipster baby Hope you can find really small Horned glasses Planned shirts Tiny fixie tricycle
Starting point is 00:29:00 These jeans don't come any smaller I'm sorry You'll have to go to the my buddy isle To find smaller jeans For tight, tight hipster babies Tight, tight hipster jeans At the jimboree But seriously
Starting point is 00:29:16 Go to a hospital I think Have her drink a glass of water And an ibuprofen And a glass of water in the morning And she'll be fine Also film that shit And put it on youtube My party baby
Starting point is 00:29:32 Did you guys hear about Josh His problem He wrote to us gmail Question our answer Coming soon Just found out my ex cheated on me When we were still together
Starting point is 00:29:48 What's the best way to set a person aflame I think you gotta play in one of the hits of D'Angelo And doesn't watch their heart light up Right? Does he mean literal? Yeah I was gonna say literally Fire But
Starting point is 00:30:04 Fire and some sort of flammable oils They gotta be asleep That's so important Or unconscious in some way Yeah they can't just like start Never work You will be shocked at how quickly a motivated man Can put out a fire
Starting point is 00:30:20 Josh let me drop something on you That jerry springer dropped on me when I was 12 A bottle of beer A bottle of beer That is one of the wise jerry's Final thoughts was If someone will cheat on someone To be with you
Starting point is 00:30:36 Then they will cheat on you to be with someone else So drop that knowledge on her new boyfriend Like listen dude I don't know what makes you think she wouldn't cheat on you She cheated on me have a great day Bye And then dip That's possible
Starting point is 00:30:52 Maybe you just didn't love her hard enough Yeah I know that's kind of a I know that's That's a harsh reality but Did you love her as hard as you possibly could You know what you just said she's your ex Who cares man let it go Move on
Starting point is 00:31:08 And Griffin you made a great point too No girl cheats on someone Or nobody cheats on someone they're happy with You know what I mean Unless they get drunk at their office party Unless they get drunk at their office party Or the someone is profoundly physically attracted Also that
Starting point is 00:31:24 And that's another thing I'm just gonna Heads up real quick listeners We appreciate questions And we appreciate input and we appreciate you listening Questions about how to get People with boyfriends and girlfriends To sleep with you Not really
Starting point is 00:31:42 Our expertise or something we're going to Address Not cool just be cool That's the number one advice of Mubby Bam Just don't hate I'm just gonna give you an in general answer to those questions Question My friend has a girlfriend I want to sleep with
Starting point is 00:32:00 What do I do? Answer Realize he's not really your friend You guys maybe aren't as close As you thought Joseph has a conundrum There's a girl he works with Who he met while she was Reading about the new Pokemon game
Starting point is 00:32:16 That got the conversation Started Now I'm at a loss for what to do next Should I just go for it and ask her out I'm really bad at the asking out part What should I do What should I ask her out to Dinner or something else
Starting point is 00:32:32 Man hold on I'm just going ahead I think maybe you could arrange Some sort of series of romantic Pokemon battles Right Do you know what I'm saying Maybe kind of sexy Pokemon battles That could be the way that you ask her out
Starting point is 00:32:48 If my Charizard topples your Venusaur How do you feel about a little Squirtle And of course you will Because her Venusaur will be weak to your Charizard's fire attacks That's all I can do That's all I can summon up I can't do anymore I think that
Starting point is 00:33:06 Ask her about your Pokeballs Oh Jesus You could um You could just ask her if you You two want to meet up the next day With your Anonymous meeting Or figure you could try that Ask her how her collection of cats is doing
Starting point is 00:33:22 I'm trying to make fun of this guy But honestly I feel like his email is pretty much just sort of Got it out there Yeah I mean I don't want to make fun of him We just said that it's a good Reason to have a relationship with somebody
Starting point is 00:33:38 If you both dig Pokemon We can poke fun all we want Dude met a girl What's up beautiful Keep the human race going If you had the courage to email A podcast To ask them how to ask out a girl
Starting point is 00:33:54 Who your only contact with her Is Pokemon related I don't think you'll have any problem Mustering up the courage to ask her out Your balls are huge dude Your Pokeballs Penis are enormous You could see your Pokeballs from space
Starting point is 00:34:10 And let me give you this fight It doesn't matter what you do It doesn't matter what you ask her out to do As long as you have fun As long as it is interesting Be interested in her The date is not important The experience is important
Starting point is 00:34:26 That's what she wants to talk about What has she recently evolved You guys are making fun But dude if you've got that in If that's your in It's unconventional But you've got to fight tooth and nail For anything you can get
Starting point is 00:34:42 And you have the best Nerd point argument ever Well I disagree because I met a girl And you will win every nerd argument like that Joseph if I could just Give you one other piece of advice before I move on Hold on to this one real tight
Starting point is 00:35:00 Just really Trust me on this one Don't let her go We don't know how many more times This opportunity is going to present itself By which we mean none So just really hold on to this one Just hold on tight
Starting point is 00:35:18 Make it work Trust me make it work Make it work Gordo That's a great name Gordo asks on gmail I am super whipped by my girlfriend And generally despised my life
Starting point is 00:35:36 My brother and friends say I'm more whipped Than even the most whipped guy on TV What? No that's a good metric Haven't you seen the new reality show The most whipped guy I would break up with her There are two trips that include her
Starting point is 00:35:52 What do I do? Stop planning trips Why do you have more than one trip planned? Step one Start dropping subtle hints asking About refundability of certain trip deposits Baby know that trip we had planned in 2015 I returned it
Starting point is 00:36:08 Stop planning trips We got Bonnaroo in June And then the cruise in September But so help me God Um October rolls around Um you gotta Listen man trust me on this one
Starting point is 00:36:24 Trust me If you get to a point where you think I want to break up with somebody Get in a car Find them and do it right then Cause there's not a second of your life You're not gonna spend worrying about it until then And as soon as you do it
Starting point is 00:36:40 You will feel so much better And you are not doing them any favors by waiting Yeah don't go on the trips Because then like okay Let's say you got a romantic cabin trip Plan for this weekend right You're gonna go on that cabin trip next weekend You say I think we should break up
Starting point is 00:36:56 Oh man that cabin trip That you just went on is completely Invalidated like it never happened Even worse even worse You're gonna say nice things on that cabin trip You're not gonna sit on the opposite You're gonna say like baby I love you And then the next week break up with her
Starting point is 00:37:12 That's gonna make it messy dude And the thing is a lot of people shy away from break ups Cause like oh it's gonna be messy Every break up is messy It gets better the sooner you do it It starts healing immediately afterwards So the longer you put it off The worse it's going to be
Starting point is 00:37:28 I know it sucks man I know it sucks you gotta do it Don't waste any more time You're wasting your life And also your money stop planning trips Stop planning trips My email says how do I comment On my wife's terrible new haircut without lying
Starting point is 00:37:44 Yeah let me feed this one for you Aaron You ready? Get close Lie Glad I could help Rob on Gmail I'm having a baby girl in June My first
Starting point is 00:38:00 We have a first name Picked out but haven't chosen a middle What do you think of the middle name Danger for a girl Your wife doesn't know shit Yeah sorry Rob But those two things Shouldn't associate with each other
Starting point is 00:38:16 At all I generally have a baby naming Rule and that is that naming Your baby is not an opportunity For self expression Cause your kid has to live with it For the rest of her life That being said
Starting point is 00:38:32 Danger as a middle name Is badass I say do it You are raising the sort of person Where That's gonna shape their life Absolutely They're gonna have to introduce themselves to people
Starting point is 00:38:48 That's gonna come up They're going to associate with people who think It's cool that their middle name is danger And that's a cool crowd That's the kind of people you want It'll be great and occasionally Her wedding day There will be a lot of people in attendance who don't know her middle name
Starting point is 00:39:04 And the preach will be like Do you Eliza Danger McCletchens Take so and so And everyone in the audience will be like Danger? Sweet Is that real? Yeah Danger? I like it I'm a big fan of your wife
Starting point is 00:39:20 And if she ever becomes like an international super spy It's right there Danger is my middle name She can actually say I love it But that joke she's gonna hate that joke No unless she becomes an adventurer But even then The danger is my middle name thing
Starting point is 00:39:36 People are going to say that to her at parties And she will get sick of it after the second time That might get a little old actually I'm saying that the word itself The concept of danger As a moniker is so strong Yeah What about adventure?
Starting point is 00:39:52 Excitement Punctuality Monkey shines my middle name What's the best way to What's this from Maverick 89 What's the best way to remember stuff you've forgotten This question is so paradoxical
Starting point is 00:40:08 I've been thinking about it all day And I can't I forgot to think about it What? No come on I first creed Now this I do what I can Listen it's been an off week
Starting point is 00:40:26 I think you're seeing this Yeah sit down in the dark You just gotta turn on the AC It's low as it goes High as it goes Make the temperature As close to zero as you can get it Ice down? Ice?
Starting point is 00:40:44 Cover your body in ice and oils Icy oil Think as hard as you possibly can About some old shit That happens to you Back there Cause you got shit back there That happened to you
Starting point is 00:41:00 With you You have memories in there Cobwebs You gotta get back there with the oils Just dust them out So what you gotta do is You gotta pop some ginkgo Drink a Shasta
Starting point is 00:41:16 Get in the dark and just sit and get it out Watch some old movies Watch a movie that was created in the year That you were born Think Were you born in 1997? Like The Lake House? That movie came out in like
Starting point is 00:41:32 2005 Sorry Don, I'm not back I forgot No but for real Ginkgo it up If you're talking about something I was gonna say something And I can't remember it
Starting point is 00:41:48 Retrace what you were talking about Or just stop thinking about it The more you try to think about it The more you're going to think about thinking about it And not actually remember it As humans we have a short-term memory and a long-term memory And getting things to transition From short-term to long-term memory is a process
Starting point is 00:42:04 Didn't you hear The part with the ginkgo And the ice, did you think that that pretty well covered it? I answered this question pretty I feel like he's probably already remembered it He's probably stopped listening already Maybe he was trying to remember to unsubscribe Maybe he can blame him
Starting point is 00:42:20 I know, I can't Dude, it's Coke Asks us via Twitter Big news! After three years with my girlfriend I feel it's time to make the leap And ask for her hand Any suggestions to make it memorable
Starting point is 00:42:36 Alright guys, let's do it First of all, congratulations Let's do it Susan or Marie Oh god, it's our first Okay, okay I know, I'm really nervous Susan or Marie
Starting point is 00:42:52 Or Ellen Let's just say baby Hey baby We've been Dude, it's Coke's been with you for three years now Three long years Over 1,000 days of pure Bliss
Starting point is 00:43:08 525,600 times You went on some dates You had some good times Many each other, many each other's parents and friends You all get along really well He's been true to you He's been there for you
Starting point is 00:43:24 He's got a really, really important question to ask Do it, Dude, it's Coke Yeah! Alright, great job Wait, let's do the second one It's like a choose your own adventure Reaction
Starting point is 00:43:42 Right? She says no Dude, it's Coke, that's rough, man That's tough, that's tough, buddy Hey, listen, there's so many other fish left in the sea Yeah, don't even worry about it Don't even worry about it Because that's not gonna work out
Starting point is 00:43:58 Nope, it's over You had your shot and you blew it You blew it You blew it But if you did it and it worked, congratulations Yay! Yes, I'm sure she did Because those kids are so, so in love
Starting point is 00:44:14 Unless she didn't, now if she didn't She didn't That is too bad But uh, congratulations Congratulations, or fuck you Fuck you, fuck that bitch She never knew you, she didn't deserve you It's Coke
Starting point is 00:44:30 She didn't know you like we do Fuck her Or congratulations We hope we get invited to the wedding Thanks for inviting us Beforehand, I want to thank you In advance for inviting us To the wedding
Starting point is 00:44:46 Let's shut this bitch down Or, or Fuck her Okay, I want Griffin To tell us his last Super important question But first, I want to remind you Of all the different ways you can seek out our wisdom
Starting point is 00:45:02 For your very own You can visit mbmbam.com That's a great place to start In case you forget about any of these methods Great website, all kinds of flash names Fun for the kids Social networking
Starting point is 00:45:18 MP3s, data JPEGs and photos Smiley faces hidden Can you find it? Easter eggs You can Hit us up on Twitter Either do at mbmbam Or we like pound sign
Starting point is 00:45:34 We see a lot of people I see a lot of people quoting lines from the show With that tag on Twitter That makes me really happy Means we're reaching people For once, reaching out We're reaching into them And we're changing their minds
Starting point is 00:45:50 Inside out There's a form spring, of course There's a link to that on mbmbam.com Sorry That lost wasn't, the finale wasn't as good As you'd hoped or disappointed to Unless it was awesome Please subscribe
Starting point is 00:46:10 Get a friend, maybe today, maybe tomorrow Say Listen, I've got a show, a hit show, a hot show That you've just got to listen to With me And then hold their hand, go on the journey of a lifetime And if you are on Facebook Look for the
Starting point is 00:46:26 mbmbam Appreciation group Everyone on there is wonderful We try to release as much news on there as we can So check that out For late breaking up the minute mbmbam news And email at us
Starting point is 00:46:42 Also, that's a good one That's the best one, mbmbam At gmail.com That's a good way to do it Last question of the day This one comes from Yahoo Answers user James Who asks
Starting point is 00:46:58 Do you think I have Pepsi stuck in my lungs? What should I do? I'm Justin McElroy I'm Travis McElroy I'm Griffin McElroy And this has been my brother My brother And Nate
Starting point is 00:47:28 I want to give you something great today I want to give you something great today I want to give you something great today I want to give you something great today I want to give you something great today I want to give you something great today I want to give you something great today I want to give you something great today
Starting point is 00:47:44 Yeah

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