My Brother, My Brother And Me - My Brother, My Brother and Me: Episode 08

Episode Date: June 7, 2010

After an unprecedented and, frankly, irresponsible one-week hiatus, we've returned to answer the deluge of questions the MBMBAM community flooded us with during the interlude. That just means we have ...a much sweeter stock of queries to choose from. Seriously, guys -- every single question in this episode is a matter of life or death. Especially the one about teen make-out spots. Suggested talking points: Golden Love Corral, Best Woman, Aaron (known dude), the circle of AIDS, long distance dating and shotputting, fat beers, Why Does The Sun Shine?, anger volcanoes, mama-law, friendship connections, On Kicking

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 If you change your mind On the first in line Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me If you need me Let me know Gonna be around If you've got your place to go
Starting point is 00:00:16 When you're feeling down If you're all alone When a pretty person Carve another notch in your bed post You've done it You've made time Made time In your week
Starting point is 00:00:32 For us This is an advice show for the modern era I am Justin McElroy I'm Travis McElroy I'm Griffin McElroy And this has been my brother My brother and me The end
Starting point is 00:00:48 Have a great week Can we address Just right from the get We fucked up We fucked up We done fucked up We done y'all wrong This show is like
Starting point is 00:01:04 Two weeks old It's like a two week old infant And we went ahead and we done skipped a week Done skipped a week Can we as I blame Memorial Day, what's up So we're blaming Memorial Day for our Malfeasance
Starting point is 00:01:20 Memorial Day cause us to forget Yeah, we forgot to Make the show for you For that, I'm eternally sorry I want to apologize cause we I expected like we skip a week And then all the love Falls out the bottom
Starting point is 00:01:36 And we lose all the love But I did a Twitter search for The title of our show yesterday as I am Want to do And still just a lot of people Support a lot of questions Not a lot of anger, mostly just sorrow And I want to apologize
Starting point is 00:01:52 A deep hunger was the theme I want to deeply I want to personally deeply apologize to Little Badkins He's a way fish young lad who lives on the streets He was heart broke He was, it hurt it, I'm so sorry Badkins We'll send you some new matchsticks
Starting point is 00:02:08 Can we just say, make it official Episode 008 Right now, official decree We will never miss another week Ever again Until we die Even then, we'll get two more shows out Yep, ghosts, ghost shows
Starting point is 00:02:24 Here's our first question Comes to us from Formspring Formspring questions are anonymous If you want to send the question to us Listen to the end of the show, we'll tell you how I've been seeing this girl lately And every time we have plans to hang out, she bails on me If we don't make plans
Starting point is 00:02:40 And I tell her I'm just gonna show up She's cool with it Is this a case of plans are meant to be broken? Or is it something more? Oh, my friend That's not an idiom No, dude, plans are meant to be broken No, actually, that's kind of counterintuitive
Starting point is 00:02:56 To what a plan is Here's my question to people do things With plans What's the difference between making plans And telling her you're going to show up Is that not a plan? It seems like an awfully narrow distinction I think it seems like
Starting point is 00:03:12 If you and I, what it sounds like to me is You and I should go somewhere Okay, cool I'm not gonna do that I'm gonna be at a place Are you gonna be at that same place? I will see I think maybe she just is not
Starting point is 00:03:28 Necessarily Into this relationship right now Or maybe she just loves scavenger hunts Have we considered that? Maybe she likes to pretend it's serendipitous To the two of you She doesn't want to meet you And a lot of times
Starting point is 00:03:46 We try to tell ourselves with stuff like that Maybe she's just the type of person That breaks plans And she's all willy-nilly and crazy And now she just doesn't want to hang out with you She is the type of person That doesn't particularly care for you So much anymore
Starting point is 00:04:02 Plans are meant to be broken Hey, they are My GF I'm a different person now My GF is always wanting to go out to dinner But she expects me to romantically choose Where to eat and pay Despite the fact that she pretty much
Starting point is 00:04:18 Always eats steak no matter where we go Also money is tight Should I cave to her demands? My suggestion Plan on a really fancy dinner And tell her about it And then don't go And you'll be like
Starting point is 00:04:34 Can I just say how much I love The concept of romantically choosing Where to eat dinner Like baby Baby girl happens This is the thing girls want I think Golden Corral
Starting point is 00:04:50 You want to get some of them hot buttery rolls Sensual rolls Sensual rolls She wants She wants you to be in charge Like a man say this is where we're going tonight Staco Also start calling your GF
Starting point is 00:05:06 Staco I love it And also Don't let your GF eat steak everywhere you go What's the matter with her It's not healthy Take her to a vegan restaurant And see if her head implodes
Starting point is 00:05:22 Next time she by steak Just cough and be like Please choose another option Please choose the chicken She'll have the chicken Are you dating a caveman? Or a feral wolf Take her romantically order for her
Starting point is 00:05:38 She'll have the chicken Thank you, Gerson As dry as possible please Another form spring question Does my best man have to be a man My closest confidants Are all female And I have just casual mostly
Starting point is 00:05:54 Uncaring relationships with the majority Of guys in my life His closest what Confidants That's how they say it I don't I don't I don't know that's awfully progressive
Starting point is 00:06:10 I don't have a problem with it one bit Yeah No you wouldn't Well I have a lot of female friends Right but we'll never have to deal with this Because we've already agreed that we're going to be Each other's best man We've signed that blood pact
Starting point is 00:06:26 I forget how it breaks down I'm Justin's, Justin's yours, yours mine Alright What if like Steve Gutenberg Rolls up the day in my wedding Is like hey I could, you know I've got like Two hours to kill, could I do it? Would you understand Justin
Starting point is 00:06:42 Oh yeah, oh what if for the Goots Yeah the only thing I would wish Is that we could be co-best men And I could go to things remembered And have a co-best man Necklace made That would be broken into two parts So it would be like a dead hooker
Starting point is 00:06:58 That's your first One of you would get one part And one of you would get the other when you link it up It shows That you were co-best man right I just realized Once again We've created the greatest movie idea ever
Starting point is 00:07:14 The new Steve Gutenberg Vehicle co-best man That sounds like an Adam Sandler movie No it's Steve Gutenberg and Dave Couillier Kevin James and Adam Sandler And co-best man You can do it Can we give this guy some real advice
Starting point is 00:07:34 Yeah I think it's okay But make her wear a tux Hey can I say this, it's your wedding So tell everybody to eat a big one Yeah In this scenario would you Have to refer to her as best man still
Starting point is 00:07:50 I would say best woman I think I would still go with best man I was kidding about the tux but I think The fiance first Yeah Gender switching is not that Sydney had Guys in her party
Starting point is 00:08:06 But they weren't bridesmaids They were bridesmen I had to walk down the aisle With one of them It may be best maid I don't know Best lady You should probably marry your best lady
Starting point is 00:08:22 You have to realize that's what's going to happen Day of the wedding Right before you get cold feet And then your lady friend Confesses her Your wife might have a problem with that That's what I'm saying Talk to your fiance first
Starting point is 00:08:38 My official advice is I don't know Is your best woman going to be Jennifer Lopez Because if so You're definitely Going to switch over at the last second Yeah Guys I have this problem I'm going to talk to some stranger on the phone
Starting point is 00:08:54 They mistake me for a woman What can I do in the future to prevent this I don't drink whiskey or smoke So forget about that Are you Yeah are you 12 That you don't drink whiskey or smoke Maybe pick up one of those
Starting point is 00:09:10 And we'll meet you halfway Could I suggest either Saying your name But what if your name is like Aaron That doesn't help the matter at all To cut any confusion I would say Just call a person up And they say hello
Starting point is 00:09:26 And you say hi this is Aaron Man can we Hi this is Aaron I'm a fella and let's keep going I'm known dude Aaron You should do My name is Aaron got a wiener Can we talk
Starting point is 00:09:42 My suggestion would obviously Be to talk like Christian Bale From the Batman movies You reach Aaron I want a trick Check my long distance minutes I'm not wearing all these pads Or just go with it
Starting point is 00:09:58 How about robot voice That's not your problem if they think you're a woman That's their problem And they're embarrassment when they realize The faux pas they've made That's a power play dude Some people are paid big money to live life as a woman And you're getting a little taste of it for free
Starting point is 00:10:14 If you could do Leverage that if you were In the Telemarketing industry Leverage it in the sense that I think female telemarketers Probably are more successful than dudes Because they can call up lonely dudes
Starting point is 00:10:30 And you know Get a foot in the door Telemarketresses Telemarketrinas Telemarketrinas So yeah just go with it I've known a girl for a while And since I got back from college
Starting point is 00:10:46 For summer we've been hanging out A lot But I'm not sure if I can make it a relationship Because we go to school 100 miles Apart advice 100 miles ain't nothing 100 miles is a pretty long Distance action
Starting point is 00:11:02 No it's like 2 hours I say don't date a girl Who lives farther away from you Than you can throw something You can walk to but that's Probably better Could you throw in a pinch I could throw a shot put
Starting point is 00:11:18 100 to 150 yards That's why my wife lives with me In my house How far do you think you could throw a baseball? About 5 feet You could do that You think you could clear it from the mount? I'd get it at home play
Starting point is 00:11:34 I'd get it at home play I'd do it like rookie of the year Funky butt lovin Funky butt lovin Here's my advice Would you give him a high stinky cheddar? Yes I would This young person
Starting point is 00:11:50 Has already answered their own question You don't think you can make it a relationship? Guess what? You're not gonna You would know No he's unsure But he would know 100 miles isn't like a cross country trip If 2 hours isn't worth it to you
Starting point is 00:12:06 Then I think you've already answered your own question Real life is gonna work Really hard In every relationship To try to tear it down If you're not sold on it From the jump It's not gonna pay it out
Starting point is 00:12:22 If she's the one You wouldn't be asking us this question If you were sure about it You wouldn't interest us through reality But long distance relationship is way harder than you think it would be 100 miles apart 100 miles from King's Island I don't get there
Starting point is 00:12:38 You love King's Island I do The Viking Fury Beautiful boat Let's do one from Yahoo This one comes from Chris D Chris D says Not Chris R, Chris D
Starting point is 00:12:54 Look at your buddy Please help Where should we make out Well me and my girlfriend We're going into 9th grade We're both 14 and she wants to make out Where should we make out And this is my first make out
Starting point is 00:13:10 So any tips would be great Thanks I heard like during a movie in the theaters But I don't know Any places would be great Thanks, easy 10 points I think if any places are great You should stop worrying about it so much
Starting point is 00:13:26 Dude, you can't Has it been so long That you can't recall the mortal terror That is involved with Finding a locale for this To go down Oh my god, this is hard Now it's suddenly hard
Starting point is 00:13:42 Yeah, because I can recall exactly And I also recall the The Unorthodox solution Oh Christ It was in Ritter Park Which is a park That was a few blocks from my house
Starting point is 00:13:58 In the hometown of Huntington, West Virginia And there's a There's a little Concave, like a little Circle A little stone circle Of benches that's kind of hidden Beneath the shady trees
Starting point is 00:14:14 But I think that that circle was Constructed as Like a monument to like AIDS Yes, it's the AIDS circle Which is probably I don't know
Starting point is 00:14:30 Disrespectful Maybe not romantic Maybe not the most romantic thing I've ever done in my life But you have to get your make out on And you have to do it in a place where your folks won't catch you Did you wrap it up? Because that would have been disrespectful Definitely, I played it smart
Starting point is 00:14:46 Even at 14 I find dens Dens and basements Oh basements are awesome Parrots can't stay up forever dog They're old They're old I'm almost parent age, trust me
Starting point is 00:15:02 You can't stay up that long You're all awesome I don't think I've I never ever ever got fresh in a movie If I see you making out a movie I'm gonna fucking smack you You're gonna do it Sit in the back
Starting point is 00:15:18 Because people paid so much money to go to that movie They don't need to hear your smacking But it's in 3D Here's the thing Right now you're paying 12 bucks to get into a movie 15 bucks Don't waste that money making out
Starting point is 00:15:34 Watch the damn movie You're halfway to a cheap hour limit Unless The movie's really bad And you can add some humor to it Like Train my dragon If you're in the middle of it
Starting point is 00:15:50 There are people like me That will sit Uncomfortably close to you So that you are not able to do that On the note that I just brought up I wouldn't do it in like a kids movie Don't go to like a G-rated movie Some of us
Starting point is 00:16:06 Have made out during Toy Story 2 Yeah It was creepy Flumber Dear podcast Okay Last night I went to my friend's 21st birthday party when suddenly his girlfriend
Starting point is 00:16:26 Who was very drunk Told me she had feelings for me I don't feel the same about her So my question is how do I Or even do I tell my friend Okay hold on You're at Your friend's birthday party
Starting point is 00:16:42 His lady tells you She has feelings for you You don't have feelings for you Guess what you got buddy You got a little something I like to call a non problem Yeah You do not have an issue That you need to address
Starting point is 00:16:58 Here's the important little segment there She was very drunk Doesn't matter I say things I say things you wouldn't believe It's astonishing how many questions we get Where my answer is just Pack up and move away
Starting point is 00:17:14 And never talk to anyone involved in the scenario again Because that's literally the only The only solution I have for this Maybe that's why I've been such a globe trotter These past few years You keep messing up social situations In my mind this is Unfixable and you have to get out there
Starting point is 00:17:30 It's called a global reset You can either stick around Don't say anything and then have it be awkward forever Or you can tell your friend and he'll get mad at you And you know Here's an idea Don't Don't say anything
Starting point is 00:17:46 But Whenever you're Frequently ask your friend how his relationship is going And then when he answers you say Oh yeah Really? Can I suggest a honey pot scenario Where you
Starting point is 00:18:02 Tell the friend And then if he doesn't believe you No check it out And then you Get the friend Well no that's exploitative But you know You're going to suggest a baiting situation
Starting point is 00:18:18 Get her to confess those feelings again I like that Like you're wearing a wire Or your friend is like hidden in the closet And ask her about the new package And ask her where Omar is I assume that's a joke that you get Because we haven't watched the wire
Starting point is 00:18:34 Yeah You need to talk to your friend's girlfriend That's what you need to do People don't want to hear about things Your two options are honey pot Or move the fuck away Or honey pot Change your name
Starting point is 00:18:50 I'm going to switch these Gmail questions Because these people have their names on them Ender I know right Ender writes They're already about to get married Or are married And I've only been out of high school for two years
Starting point is 00:19:06 What am I missing here Let me throw in a little side note here This email comes to us from Utah I don't know if that changes Your outlook on this But it does for me So they get married like six years earlier Than probably the median age
Starting point is 00:19:22 In the nation I think that's a fair figure What you're missing is a partner And you are going to die Ender, you're not missing anything Dude, you're 20 years old You're kicking it, living it large in Utah Yeah
Starting point is 00:19:38 Go to jazz games Listen to jazz games and Listening to jazz and going to jazz basketball games Yeah Just jazz in general You need to stop all that jazz And get yourself a girlfriend I don't
Starting point is 00:19:54 Are you going to college He didn't say he's going to college He said he's been out of high school for two years Just pair up quick Because your options are dwindling every day I'm probably the only person from Huntington Who's not married And I'm
Starting point is 00:20:10 So fucking lonely All the time, Ender Just find someone You know, one of my friends once told me Who was married, he said Marriage isn't a goal Marriage isn't something you work towards So
Starting point is 00:20:26 It is a goal in the sense that if you don't cross it By the time you die, then you fail Yes Whatever, it's a goal in that if you don't cross it by the time you're 30 You're done Speed it up, Ender Matt writes to us from Gmail He says, myself and my friend
Starting point is 00:20:42 And my brother and me It's not true, it's just myself and my friend Myself and my friend recently went for the same job And he got it ahead of me Do you have any advice for how to deal with this Um Yeah, keep your mouth shut, Matt Move to a different town
Starting point is 00:20:58 Just move away, dude No, I mean, that sucks That sucks pretty royally, but You gotta ask yourself, what would he do If the scenario was switched And it sounds like he's a really good friend And that he wouldn't Cause a big stink about it
Starting point is 00:21:14 I think in any situation, even if he would do that You gotta be the bigger man And if he's really your friend, you gotta be happy for him You know what I mean? At the end of the day, what is more important The job that you went for and the friendship with this kid Well, the job probably It sounds like a great gig
Starting point is 00:21:32 With a nice big salary and lots of benefits And also, Matt He's probably more qualified than you He probably got it based on merit He deserves it He earned it, what did you do? There'll be more jobs, Matt Can we give Matt an internship
Starting point is 00:21:50 At MB&BAM Industries? Matt is the first intern of MB&BAM Industries What's he gonna do? He's gonna promote the show Ooh, I like it Is it paid? He's gonna sell trades In the way slavery Can we scrounge some money together
Starting point is 00:22:06 To give this guy a salary, do you think? If I get any money, I'm gonna spin on our Facebook ad For our show Yeah, it's true 6x9 Who's a known Gmail user Asks, I've recently moved To the States from Australia
Starting point is 00:22:22 And I'd like to find a low calorie Beer to drink I have no problem sampling from your wide selection Of micro brews on occasion, but I'd really like A nice beer to drink regularly And I don't need the extra calories I'm looking for a taste sensation But something that tastes better than brackish water
Starting point is 00:22:38 Would be nice, any suggestions? PBR Yes, PBR, that's God's beer Get off the podcast I mean, you can't go wrong with an MGD64 How about I slap both of you To the mouth? That's the only low calorie beer
Starting point is 00:22:54 No, okay, let me Hip you guys, because you're Like children, you're like an infant Tickling yourself with a razor What? Is you're an infant Tickling yourself with a razor The best low calorie beer
Starting point is 00:23:10 Is Guinness Which clocks in at 125 calories per bottle High calorie That's not comparatively high calories The idea that beer Has calories in it Is astonishing to me I don't know why I've never been able
Starting point is 00:23:28 If you drink too much beer, you get fat My brain has never been able to It's a liquid It's not a food I understand like a milkshake Have you tried pork chunk ale? I don't even know I don't even know
Starting point is 00:23:44 I would say That your top three I think Guinness is good Right after that I think the two best light beers you can get Are Sam Adams light and So if it has light on it
Starting point is 00:24:00 Then that's what that means You would be surprised I would actually check calorie comparisons Because You know, a lot of those light beers are not Like I said, they're not as low calorie As Like a Guinness or something like that
Starting point is 00:24:16 Guinness is low in calories I tell you what I had a lot of when I was up Shietown Lining coogles, summer shandy Is that light? I would say that's probably just Ripping with calories Felt airy in my mouth when I drank it
Starting point is 00:24:32 It had kind of an airy quality to it I would say go with that And don't worry about the calories Because you deserve it Girl, you're worth it girl 130 calories per bottle That's not bad at all Not terrible
Starting point is 00:24:48 Also Jack and diet coke And I saved you a bunch of calories Dominic Says I'm trying to be more outgoing Looking for more venues to meet people Impossible relationships Would church groups be a good start
Starting point is 00:25:04 Even though I'm not particularly Churchy Or do you have any other suggestions? Dominic, that won't be a great conversation Starter Hey, what's going on Mallory, no I'm not Particularly churchy
Starting point is 00:25:20 This is apparently working for you I think so I made a lot of good connections In Church I actually went out to dinner Last night with old Alex White You remember
Starting point is 00:25:38 Good people I don't know if he's thinking About love Relationships Maybe he's just talking about friendships If that's the way to go If you're looking for somebody who's going to give up to pussy God
Starting point is 00:25:54 Well You can do it There it is Speaking of Speaking of You're not married to JC You're going to be mine Speaking of not particularly churchy
Starting point is 00:26:10 This Yahoo Answers question Comes to us from Dick Oh man, Dick asks What? If there is no oxygen in space Then how does the sun burn? Answer that atheists Christians one, atheists zero
Starting point is 00:26:26 What a sick bird He's got you there Game over Fuck Shit I don't have an answer for that I know you don't Hey, do you guys see what Dick said?
Starting point is 00:26:42 Fuck, we're all ruined There are Like 300 theology professors across the country Who just like Exploded Wait a minute, Dick just solved it for all of us Everyone knows that the sun burns
Starting point is 00:26:58 Because the devil lives inside The devil lives in the sun What's up? It's your first night at the rodeo apparently I have to thank I did a little bit of Crowd sourcing That question was actually sent to me by
Starting point is 00:27:14 Godly The person's name who sent that to me Shoutouts I've been having problems With expressing my anger Says Sean from Gmail And I was wondering if you could help I'm a 17 year old New Zealander
Starting point is 00:27:30 And over here, any showing of anger To anyone will often result in a physical fight I have the problem that I seem to either bottle it up I've been meditating lately And it seems to help a little in thinking about things Or completely fine if they handle and hurt people badly I was wondering if you guys could help
Starting point is 00:27:46 Hey Sean Hi Sean You're a You're talking to three guys Who are raised Baptist If you're looking for guys who are telling you To not bottle it up
Starting point is 00:28:02 Keep it inside Or get to your bottle breaks And then you get a bigger bottle I don't know I think the last time I got angry was when I was I was Making a left turn
Starting point is 00:28:20 On to the interstate And someone behind me was upset by the fact That I was making a left turn So they passed me and gave me the finger And I just wanted to get out of my car And Just hurt them I'm so bad at it
Starting point is 00:28:36 Would you rather be Sean The guy who Expresses his feeling in a healthy way Or Sean the guy who at any second Could fucking flip and fight somebody I kind of like the last Sean That Sean's cool
Starting point is 00:28:52 Sean's crazy Nobody knows what the fuck Sean's about to do Sean's drinking Everybody stops Just looks at Sean real slow And maybe this time Sean laughs it off But next time Sean is basically a human
Starting point is 00:29:08 Version of Kerplunk Only the marbles are his rage And every time you scuff his pumas You're pulling a stick out Yeah And once you put the step on that poo With that wrong time you're sunk Also Sean in real advice
Starting point is 00:29:24 You're 17 dude You're a wash of hormones and emotion Completely normal Calm down as you get older Meditation's the best way to go Just think about everything Someone scuffing your pumas Not a time to pull the stick out
Starting point is 00:29:40 No if you Then you'll get really bad acne That's right You gotta give those hormones You gotta work them out Little anger volcanoes I actually saw a dermatologist When I was 17
Starting point is 00:29:56 I had really bad skin She said you got lots of anger volcanoes on your face Thanks Sean don't hurt anybody Sean don't hurt anybody Sean Everybody don't follow our advice Have you guys heard about Cody Have you guys heard about Cody
Starting point is 00:30:12 From Gmail where he's going Next weekend He's taking a trip up With his family up to Canada Oh Kanata I like it up there Homeland of Rafi Not here for my predicament I love to drink at a 19 years old
Starting point is 00:30:28 Which means I can drink in Canada However my mom hates that I drink How can I get shit faced in Canada Without my mother getting upset Cody I have great news for you This is A wonderful time
Starting point is 00:30:44 To start practicing the art of Flaskmanship She don't need to know anything She turns away for 30 8 seconds You got that flask out you pound it You're done I would say also that it sounds like
Starting point is 00:31:00 Laws aren't keeping you from drinking So much in the US of A So what's the concern Well there's a difference There's a difference Between our laws And statutes And mama law
Starting point is 00:31:16 I think he might be afraid of Of Transgressing on mama laws Which I Understand What he's saying is the reason he's excited about drinking Is because it's legal What I'm saying is it doesn't seem to be slowing down
Starting point is 00:31:32 Although I'm sure the beer in Canada Is so dope Cody why do you need to get Shit faced As you put it Can you not just have a beer or two Do you have an eye opener Cody Do you ever have an eye opener
Starting point is 00:31:50 Do you ever drink alone Again I Would you say your mom has a problem with it Deming she keeps having interventions for you Because that's a different thing altogether I've got a Canada fetish And everything is cooler in Canada Maybe getting drunk in Canada is like the sweetest thing ever
Starting point is 00:32:06 Like maybe a mountie sees you on the street And instead of arresting you Like he gets off his horse and is like go ahead Just take one around the block Winnie Maybe getting Fucked up and eating poutine is like You know
Starting point is 00:32:22 A religious experience Joel writes to us from Gmail He says I'm in a bit of a predicament I recently moved to a new town And I only know a few people I'm not in college so I can't meet people that way And I'm 19 so I can't meet people in bars Can you guys put your heads together
Starting point is 00:32:38 And give me some pointers on how to meet people and make friends Joel started a D&D group That's really good You're joking but I met a lot of people That way Give a call to Dominic and go to church with him sometime He just wants to tell you about a friend of his His name is Jesus
Starting point is 00:32:56 On Justin's first point there's a website called Meetup You can use that to find groups of people That have your interests maybe not D&D maybe knitting Maybe scrapbooking maybe that's Joel's game You can find a group And do that thing with them I wish he had told us what city he was in And then we could have some MBMBAM
Starting point is 00:33:12 Like friendship connections Here's what we'll do Joel go to Facebook Go on our appreciation group Put some stats Some things you're into the city you're into We'll make that connection Make eye color Basically a match.com profile
Starting point is 00:33:28 But put it in our Facebook group And then see if you can find a new lover People should be using our Facebook group for friendship And love connections I wish more people were doing that I want by our next show to have at least one Piece of verifiable evidence Of two kids who found each other on the Facebook group
Starting point is 00:33:44 Got together And fucked What kind of verifiable evidence are you looking for? Kicks Jesus Here's one Yahoo Answer also sent to To me by Action Allen
Starting point is 00:34:02 Thank you Action Allen. This one comes from Kyle S He asks I need a list Of the most practical kicks What? Oh just you wait I want a list of kicks All must be practical and where they would land
Starting point is 00:34:18 So far the obvious one Oh shit To groin mid area head Sorry Side kick to groin mid area I personally don't like this one Because it's hard to see Round kick
Starting point is 00:34:34 To lower leg, back of knee All suggestions are welcome I'm not kick to spirit Yeah how about Below to your self conscious Hey listen Why do you need this list? What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:34:52 Guys can we kick He's got the front, he's got the side, he's got the round He considered a donkey kick A back kick As it's referred to in some circles Where an assailant comes behind you You can usually kick the front Of their knee or groin area
Starting point is 00:35:08 And that will completely take them Out of the fight altogether Have you tried to spin kick? Spin kick is really good That's the coolest kick you can do The point of your boot goes into their butthole A butthole kick A butthole bootknocker
Starting point is 00:35:26 A well aimed butthole kick Have you tried perhaps like a reuse Style bicycle kick where you fly through The air for 10 seconds and then squeal Like a pig How about an awesome kick where you literally Take their head off and one cleans Have you tried the mental kick
Starting point is 00:35:42 Where you don't actually kick But they think that you do And then in 3 days their stocks crash What about the kick where you take Your foot off and make the guy smell your foot Like in a funny movie The Zohans That's pretty funny
Starting point is 00:35:58 Have you tried a taint kick What? A taint kick where you kick them square in the taint And it lifts them off of the ground Into the air by about 3 feet That one's really hard to do Could I suggest a kick kick Which is where you kick their kick
Starting point is 00:36:14 With your kick You gotta be careful though Because if you don't time it right They'll kick your kick and then your butt kick That's a kick kick kick Have you tried a punch kick Which is where you take your shoe off And put it on your hand
Starting point is 00:36:30 And then you punch them with it That's a That's a pretty comprehensive list I feel Yeah I think that's all the kicks That's all the kicks I know about I guess What about the junior kick where you kick their kid Yeah that's sometimes more
Starting point is 00:36:54 Payful in the long run I mean Oh crap What do you think one more question Before the last question You got time for one more? Griffin you pick this time This one comes from Allison via Gmail I like a sociable smart funny
Starting point is 00:37:10 Nerdy guy But I don't know where to find him Why did you make this one weird I don't want to show up at a magic game And be laughed out because I'm playing with my Merfolk deck and can't remember all of the rules Or be ignored because I'd rather watch someone play the horror games For example Fatal Frame 2
Starting point is 00:37:26 So that I can cover my eyes when it gets scary How do you suggest I go about finding These guys without running into the creepy stalkers On Craigslist do they even exist Say it Griffin you are fucking adorable You can tell me how girls get your attention Sorry okay well thanks
Starting point is 00:37:42 Well thank you This one was a confidence booster For me A little pep in my step The pep in your step kick is good too Yeah That one hurts really bad That has something extra
Starting point is 00:37:58 He keeps me right in my pep Wow right in the pep I will say that In situations like this I don't think ladies need to use Their nerd charm To try and attract fellas Because their usual old
Starting point is 00:38:14 Feminine wiles will serve them Pretty well I think actually you're going to attract the wrong Kind of guy by being outwardly nerdy Maybe that's just me Here's the thing The nerdy guys they already want to go out with you Because
Starting point is 00:38:30 According to your email you're pretty And they're guys Probably lonely The thing you gotta watch out Here's the trick though The trick is you gotta find the right kind of nerdy guy Because You may not want to end up
Starting point is 00:38:46 A lot of nerdy guys can be kind of socially retarded And I don't mean that In the retarded sense I mean socially retarded like slow Inept Just comically inept Look at our emails Just pick like the top 5
Starting point is 00:39:02 Girls no kidding I think The mbmbam community is a good place For you to cast Your proverbial net Yeah that should pan out real good Just go on our facebook group And post a picture of yourself and say you're looking at
Starting point is 00:39:18 We don't have time to read his question But we got a question From a gentleman We've been debating how to pronounce his name K.H.E.M. Lewis I think Kim After we We mentioned that we got a ton of questions
Starting point is 00:39:34 Of people who don't know how girls work And he sent us Pictures of himself and his girlfriend And he looks like a really dope fresh Like a kind of guy Like a dude I could be best friends with And he's got himself A cute lady friend
Starting point is 00:39:50 I imagine that Kim Lewis Is the norm In our little family That we've built You live in the house of colors and tell me how it works out I think he's the coolest He's the best of us Don't try hitting on K.H.E.M. though
Starting point is 00:40:06 Because he's got a lady friend Kim's not the fan we deserve She's a cutie Also Allison Yeah Opposite to track Be your classy lady that hides from Horror games and shows up with her
Starting point is 00:40:22 Murfolk deck I don't know what that means And you know you want guys That are attracted to you in a Romantic sense and not a friend sense So you don't have to appeal to their Nerdy side Appeal to their man side
Starting point is 00:40:38 How does a girl get your attention She sends me flattering Emails over the internet No she um She goes naked day one No I very much fit into this As you know I try to put on air It's like I'm so cool but I'm
Starting point is 00:40:54 All into the group of people Where if a lady walks up to me I'm like I love you Thank you For giving me this chance I love you I promise that I will take this Sacred trust that you put in me
Starting point is 00:41:10 By saying hi But seriously sir do you want A grande or a binti Do you ask everyone that Let's go out You want guys starbucks Dammit dammit We're already at starbucks
Starting point is 00:41:26 I want to hear Griffin's last question But first I want to tell you Find folks at home how you can get in touch with us If you need advice You can go twitter And use the hashtag NBNBAM we like that one a lot because it Helps promote the show
Starting point is 00:41:42 You can go gmail NBNBAM at gmail.com You can use formspring Which is at formspring.formspring Slash emails Slash show Slash formspring If you want the actual link to that
Starting point is 00:41:58 You can go to NBNBAM.com We can find all this jazz Um The Utah Jazz Also thank you so much We've passed 300 ratings on iTunes And we're approaching 150 reviews Really great
Starting point is 00:42:14 Totally appreciated Just have a solid minute where we thank everyone Like we missed a week And people were hungry for it And I hope that this I hope that we can somehow in the future Find a way to make up for it But please tell somebody
Starting point is 00:42:30 You know about the show Cause it It really does stick That's the only way we can spread We're not advertising or anything You gotta We're gladvertising The show makes you happy and then you tell people about it
Starting point is 00:42:46 Here's what happened We were going to advertise and then we watched a lot of Mad Men And then we just ended up getting drunk I can't feel that world I can't put money in those Misogynist's hands I would suggest maybe listening to us in your car Maybe you're doing that right now
Starting point is 00:43:02 Look out! Just kidding Roll all your windows down And just blast it And then we'll be like Hey people on the streets Download NBNBAM Hey everybody Look at this fresh car
Starting point is 00:43:18 He knows what he's doing We gave him this car Make sure you check out our Facebook appreciation group Alison's gonna be on there Joel's gonna be on there Dominic's gonna be on there Meetin' Christian girls
Starting point is 00:43:34 That's what he's into apparently But that's the Whole podcast We want to have something to grow on To ponder over the next week The ensuing week Until the next NBNBAM Next Monday
Starting point is 00:43:50 This one comes to us From Yahoo Answers user Chuck Boris Who asks How many drops of LSD Should I give a four month old To get her to stop crying I'm Justin McElroy
Starting point is 00:44:08 I'm Griffin McElroy Seven And this is for my brother And me You will never know me Thank you for watching Don't forget to like and subscribe

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.