My Brother, My Brother And Me - The MBMBaM Guided Sleep Experience for Spiritual Harmony

Episode Date: December 7, 2016

Lay back. Close your eyes. Prepare yourself for a journey into sleep, guided by the McElroy Brothers and sponsored by Casper. ASMR? You know it. Stunts? You betcha. Distinctive oil stink? No sir. WARNING: DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS UNLESS YOU'RE READY TO GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.

Hello, and thank you for purchasing this audio cassette. My name is Justin McElroy, and welcome to the My Brother My Brother To Me Guided Sleep Experience for Spiritual Harmony. My name is Travis McElroy, and I welcome you and welcome. My name is Griffin McElroy, and I'm here to just align all of your junk in your brain and your soul and get you right down in that fucking bed. Hey, a few things before we begin. First a thank you to our sponsor, Casper.

This tape is most effective, and perhaps only effective, when used with a Casper mattress. Right now each of us is laying in our own bespoke Casper mattress. I've poured oils all over mine to give it a distinctive aromatherapeutic scent. And it is treating me so right, but I have ruined the mattress because it was a considerable. It was like a milk carton full of just straight oil. So that's unfortunate, but the smell is out of this world. I have suspended my Casper mattress from four tethers stretching to the four corners of the room.

It's created a very comfortable sleeping experience, but I must stay completely still or it swings wildly and gives me just the worst motion sickness. Do we have an offer code for this episode? You know that we do. We have offer codes, we have questions, we have peace, we have stunts. About halfway through the episode, I'm going to go drive downtown, I'm going to jump off the fucking Frostbank tower and I'm going to land on a single Casper mattress and I won't die.

If you want to get a Casper mattress right now and just pause the audio cassette until it arrives because it's, I mean, it's speedy shipping. You just hold on for that. Hi everybody, Justin McElroy here. When we made this episode, we didn't know what the promo code would be. So I had to edit it in afterwards. So I'll do that and then try to make it sound as organic and true to the episode as possible. Thank you.

You go to casper.com slash my brother and use promo code, a s m r brother. All one word a checkout terms and conditions apply. The shipping is so fast. I'm going to order it on top of Frostbank tower and then just go and then there it's going to be. I'm going to land on it. It's not going to have my distinctive oil stink on it, but it'll save my life all the same.

A few things before we begin this journey into sleep one, did you even get in the bed yet? Are you driving? That's stupid. This is very relaxing. Can't stress this enough. Do not listen to this while driving. This is 100% guaranteed sleep wherever you are.

You could use this as a sleep weapon against your enemies. Yeah. If you play this, they will just fall asleep wherever they are. Don't be driving. You're going to vanilla sky this shit right off a bridge. Open your eyes. Good. Wake up.

Oh God. I don't even know. This isn't a dream. Maybe this is a dream that you're having because you fell asleep listening to our Casper special. Inception. I haven't seen inception, but I think that's what it's about. Here's our first question. Justin, I'm sorry.

Can you please keep it the fuck down? There is no need to yell. Here's our first question. I like that because it sounds like you were yawning when you started that question. I don't even know. First, let your eyelids close. Second, please seriously don't be driving. This is going to be very fucking relaxing.

I'm worried that I'm looking forward to getting emails from people informing us that they used this to fall asleep because that would be really inspiring. I will say at some point during this episode, there's going to be an extremely loud air horn and you won't know when it's coming. But I need you to just be on your fucking toes because that's super relaxed, but very relaxed. No, that's a betrayal. There will be no air horns or will it.

Thanks for listening to our prank tastic special. Very scary. I'll go the fuck. Happy Halloween. Go the fuck to sleep and let us sell you a mattress. Hi brothers. I live in a crappy college apartment and I only have a twin size bed when my girlfriend sleeps over is extremely uncomfortable to share a twin size bed between two people.

Our solution is to sleep head to toe with each of our heads on opposite ends of the mattress, sort of like grandpa Joe and Joe and grandma Josephine in Charlie and the chocolate. If that is if that is your diagram, if that is the model upon which you have based your romantic sleeping times, I think you have probably lost the plot somewhere. Our friends think this is extremely weird and that we should just sleep like normal people. Should I conform and sacrifice a good night's sleep note, I am an incredibly light sleeper.

That's from Harry Best. You should just get a full size mattress from Casper and get $50 off by going to Casper dot com slash my brother and use the coupon code my brother all one word and check out terms and conditions of life. You guys don't sleep on those terms and conditions, but do sleep on this comfortable fucking bed. You gotta not. You gotta not. You have to not do this thing that you're doing.

The reason your friends think this is weird is because the whole point of having someone spend the night is you sleep together, not so that you can do like some weird sardine thing. A little loud Travis. Oh, sorry. You're just sleeping with your partner's toes at this point and that that is inherently weird. I hate this.

If you're worried about a good night's sleep, I feel like you're just forcing the issue at this point and you should just not sleep. Maybe sleep across the bed instead of up and down. And then you have plenty of wingspace room, maybe not as much room. You can sleep with your feet on the floor. I would sooner cut the fucking bed in half and stack one on half on the other and make a fetal position bunk bed than do this thing that you're doing. This terrible, terrible thing.

Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless.

Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless.

Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless.

Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless.

Unless, unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless.

Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. Unless. during this a very vulnerable episode how about another question one with a hundred percent less toe stuff dear brothers I recently had a moment of clarity and realized okay so just a quick setup that this this question is more

geared towards the fact that this episode was originally going to be our Halloween spooktacular which would have been a much easier needle-to-thread than this ASMR guided sleep experience for harmonious spiritual something but unfortunate well not unfortunately Travis is it had it became a dad suddenly and now here we are I don't know if we should stick with the spooky stuff well we've got the questions Griffin and it's a little too late we don't have replacement questions so okay so we just got to lean into it dance with the one that brought you and the one that brought you was a Halloween witch so if

you are very susceptible to spooky stuff you may want to skip ahead a little bit if you're already sleep I'm so terribly sorry get ready for some weird lucid dreaming this is gonna be a weird lucid dream journey for you and just hang in there just keep reminding yourself you're dreaming little larger oh my god oh my god no there's a trash truck outside no no oh god no not like this dear brothers I recently had a moment of clarity and realized that I behave exactly like the first nameless extra to die in a horror movie when I hear a spooky noise at night inside the house or outside while camping I will grab a

torch that's a flashlight and go investigate sometimes even calling out who's there while I well oh they called it a torch so I should probably do I mean I actually really need to hear because you know how Justin can only do sort of one affectation at a time I would love to hear your quiet sleepy time ASMR British man because I feel like your British man is usually sort of an Eliza do little I just sort of just sort of screaming yeah cockney phrases so let's keep goes go ahead and do that something different are you a great torch and go investigate sometimes even calling out

who's there while I wish with my girlfriend I heard a noise and found myself saying it's probably nothing like the boyfriend in every pair of soon to die amorous teens can I stop myself from dying like the first 20 minutes or should I come to terms with my gruesome but tension rising demise thank you nameless extra in Newcastle can this can the rest of this podcast just be Justin using that voice to count to 100 let's see one now we'll do it at the end that will be better oh you got to as a countdown away I'm doing it oh no I actually had to stop myself from doing the British

action it's not good I was come off in the boot the toe law the toes come off in the boot I do this to the max I got made fun of me and my friends here in Austin went on a trip to New Orleans a little out and we rented a beautiful house in Tremay that we all shared but it was all very much like there's a bed in the living room and a bed in the dining room and I heard a noise in the night and I did what I always do which is just jump out of bed and run towards it which is not a good tactic I don't really when I'm in that sleep warrior mode I don't really slice the pie like I would do in a more alert state I don't I don't deploy

my SWAT tactics to neutralize the threat I just sort of run right at it so they could just sort of hold a knife out and I would kind of just do it for them I don't know if I have ever told the story on this podcast but Justin and I and Teresa and Sidney and a bunch of other people went to a zombie themed murder mystery in Hawking Hills Ohio at Ravenwood Castle and part of the game was that there were zombies milling around and I very quickly became a zombie because Teresa became a zombie and I wanted to be able to hang out with her and so I was walking through the woods looking for a severed arm that

was part of the mystery and I heard some wrestling behind me and turned around to find a werewolf standing in a pool of light and without a second's hesitation I jumped in the air and spun in the air and ran through the woods at full speed oh no that's how that that's the worst place to be when a werewolf but but I did it completely silently I didn't scream or make any noise I just like I ran into a tree at one point and bruised my shoulder and just kept running and later that night I met the guy who was playing the werewolf at the castle bar and I said yeah you scared the shit out of me at the caravan

village and he said oh you were the guy who ran silently away I had no idea where you went look at everybody else I had the best like easiest time chasing and you just disappeared you're a good survivor boy me cuz I'm a scaredy pants McGee see I think I just want to do the damn because the worst part of of being haunted is the head is the like anticipation of it I'll confront the damn thing I'm not afraid I'm very afraid but you're very afraid but you want to get that fear over with quickly I do something similar to Griffin with a slight twist I keep a hatchet oh behind my nightstand is this truth this is

100% true oh now Justin everyone everyone knows about it now you'll have to come up with something else now it's okay it's cursed they can't stop me but I gotta I get a hatchet so if I hear a noise in the middle of the night and I've done this a few times I'll grab the hatchet that my friend Brian gave me from behind my nightstand and I'll run out to face the foe now here's an important note I sleep a fully nude so an intruder oh then the would then be faced with the visage of a almost translucently pale corpulent man and fully nude flaccid penis and and hatchet he would almost certainly certainly believe that he had

stumbled onto perhaps an awakened demigod and perhaps a failed science experiment that was kept to protect a lab something like that would and he would probably just leave yeah I don't have a great plan for that hatchet because I don't I think I feel like if the cop showed up and there's a hatchet in somebody and there's a naked man covered in blood I'm going to have a hard sell yeah I'm like Castle Doctor it's gonna be a tough but thank you to our sponsor Casper by the way go to Casper.com slash my brother and use that promo code asmr brother all one word and get 50 bucks off a mattress purchase

terms and conditions you know they're applying just want to thank them I don't want to associate them necessarily with this fucking like manhunt style visage that Justin's just given all of us I do Justin I do want to say that I like your strategy and also that the man who sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one do you guys want a yahoo I like that I can I take one more second to just talk about Casper mattresses are so wonderfully engineered if you have not slept on one you are really really missing out also they have a risk-free trial and return policy you can try sleeping on one for a hundred days

there's free delivery and the mattresses are made in America so that's a great thing again that address is Casper.com slash my brother and use the promo code asmr brother all one more to check out terms and conditions have one here that was sent in by Dylan box I would love to keep all my treasures in a Dylan box thank you maybe I already do thank you Dylan box it's by yahoo answers user John who asks what time do horses go to sleep and do they sleep in beds well that's second part is almost certainly a joke well I can't imagine is it a joke do you want I'm sorry Justin do you want your precious treasure filled Dylan box

on hooves to just lay down on the fucking dirt like some sort of hog like some sort of farmyard hog or do you want are do you get my cat sleeps in a little cat bed and my cat was not nearly as expensive as a pony so I I'm trying to picture I think maybe some kind of hammock is what I this is the greatest yes oh everybody who's trying to sleep to this just visualize the hammock the horse how you even get that motherfucker up in there and there's definitely a flannel blanket covering oh my god and maybe like they're doing that like you know they're doing that me breathing and yawning you know and then

and you can see just like a little dream bubble of like an apple that just never gets eaten away that just keeps replenishing it's always just nipping at it but it's never and you so you've just finished a day of aggressive dressage and they just learned that pony that pony sidestep you've been practicing your fucking Carlos Santana routine and what time is it time for that pony to go down what time oh it's 8 it's 8 30 goodnight my sweet horse it's right after Conan you think ponies ponies watch Conan nope it's just completely it's completely random it's just nature yeah but that's just like

that's actually I I read somewhere that it was the other way around that they said hey Conan when do you want to do a TV show and he said well I go to bed at the same time as horses it's sure Conan O'Brien cannot go to sleep as long as there is a horse awake so he timed it out that way so that it balanced nature if there was balance once again as as we all know Conan walks off the set of his TV show goes backstage and immediately falls asleep in a hammock in a sweet hammock I am I did some research in case you guys are interested because the truth of this question is just delightful first horses like to sleep during the

day because they're worried about predators worried about right at us and like to sleep during the day horses can sleep standing up but scientists believe that they have to lie down in order to get into that good rms we scientists have spent a lot of time cracking that nut so horses have to lie down to get the rms sleep so if you see a horse lying down you should know that it is dreaming if you see a horse lying down it's dreaming and if you see a horse standing up go tell it to lie down hey buddy I'll watch your fucking no coyotes gonna get in here and if you're if you see a horse standing

up I I would suggest you're the one dreaming on that one hole because it you know that's my that's my totem if I see a horse standing up I know I'm still in purgatory or whatever it's again you have to spin the horse it's been such a long time since I've seen the hit film inception I would put my horse to bed at nine well but what if you put him to bed and they're not sleepy you know what I mean oh here's here's what I would actually standing here's what I would do after I finished my dressage practice no matter what time of day it is the horse should fucking go to sleep because I'm done with it I put my toys in a drawer

when I finished playing with them you know what I mean yeah I do have an answer here from yahoo answers user fly guy indeed who says horses never sleep in the night when their owners leave the stables and go to bed they escape and run off into the forest in the forest they meet other horses and party pretty much all night sometimes even unicorns well fanciful attend the parties since they're so closely related however the horses always remember to go back to the stable before dawn so the owners don't find out about the parties because God forbid humans join in and start riding them they join the parties to take

a break from being ridden on and having fun with fellow horses and unicorns sincerely Carl Rove sincerely famous political bad man and then fucking and then fucking faith lust pixie dust pops in with another one just like they sleep when they're tired I didn't know I thought I got on the internet I didn't know it's gonna go to fucking horse school I'm looking at the person listening to this and they're coasting along on these these waves of these audio waves that we're producing I think it may be time to really amp this shit up with our ASMR segment perhaps some

of you have already experienced ASMR from from this episode but we're gonna get in there's a lot of different ASMR triggers as everybody knows sounds don't really do it for me but they do for a lot of people so for the next few minutes we're just gonna create some sound let's set up a can we set up a scene I like those like oh oh you like a role-play yeah yeah yeah okay maybe what do you think they're gonna buy a car or was the doctor that's a good one or just like hey yeah a haircut is fun a little loud Travis a little loud no that's it sounds like you're just hitting the microphone with a bunch of rubber now

Travis can you you're the haircut boy for this one so just cut we'll just do three quick scenes okay I'm ready to go please don't please don't stymie me I'm so fucking loud just like screaming loud loud are you ready oh thank you thank you for coming in today all you sure do need a haircut oh it looks like all of your hair is made out of plastic let me cut it now I just need to stop you from doing I need you to stop this uh-huh are you trying to make a mockery it's Casper gave us a hundred dollars okay let me take another make this episode and I think we could put it okay let me take another run oh thank you for coming in

today oh you sure do need a haircut this is gonna be a real challenge hold on one second just before you sit down let me clean all this plastic off the chair why okay so you just kind of have plastic right there huh wow there sure is a lot of it yeah almost done oh no it's done actually okay I'm ready to cut your what where'd you go and that was a good scene Travis I'd like to take a stab at another scene and it's I am a chef at a pizzeria and somebody's just come in and they've ordered a pizza pie and so

it's just like oh a fresh a pizza pie let me see what I can do before you to get you a hot pizza pie today that's the pizza spinning in the air slice slice slice mmm a tasty pepperoni just for me cut cut roll roll roll roll rolling out the dough here you go oh what's that you don't have any money okay I think we can find another way to get even get I'm gonna get my butt out I'm getting my butt out here this sound hold on let me get the sound oh and scene and scene this is a sponsored episode here comes the sound please stop that's the sound of that's the sound of a pants are being pulled down

around our ankles hey you do actually have money okay let me pull these up and scene what a great scene I'm I'm gonna do a scene one of my favorite such a recreation one of my favorite ASMR scenes that is of course expert card shuffle her teaches you how to shuffle cards I'll get started right now so you want to learn how to do God jerk first you learn the shuffle let's wait I don't have my training cards are those actually cards because it sounds kind of like a fart congratulations you've passed the first test you realize that's the true nature of shuffling cards is that

they sound like a fart one moment and now that's the first one that doesn't actually shuffle them here's another cards don't sound like what really I'm just now realizing hold on I need a drink of water thank you for coming practice that 1000 times and then return to me and see that's very good thank you thank you for boys thank you for sharing that energy with me do we have any other questions that aren't completely fucking Halloween based my girlfriend and I usually have pretty busy days so every evening we generally just spend unwinding with the same ritual put on some TV cook dinner get high eat dinner have sex and

then sleep that's a good fucking day that's a chill ass day for a while we've been watching diners drives and dives there's a lot of them which has had some unexpected psychological effects recently we had some rare time off work together and we're having sex outside of our nightly ritual and my girlfriend paused to say she needed to turn the TV on for background noise and turn on an episode of our go-to programming since then I've been increasingly worried that we may have through wards of food drugs sex and sleep accidentally instilled some sort of Pavlovian conditioning where we associate the sound of Guy Fieri's voice

with pleasure neither of us are attracted to men at all so it's definitely not mr. Fieri himself rather we've just come to find his voice to be a nice backdrop like a white noise machine but a weird and gross man should we be worried about this or are we good and that's from Barry B really quick Justin I would love to hear your ASMR Guy Fieri if you could just give me a little sliver of that okay hey dude welcome to diners drive-ins and dives today we've got big and big and big and big and big okay you kind of your your ASMR Guy Fieri sounds like a regular Tom Waits yeah I was gonna say it sounded like it was a 200 year old

Guy Fieri that someone had their foot on his throat and he was trying to bargain for his life he was you're like trying to choke to death a very old Fieri or maybe it's a Fieri that's been buried for many years I have a I have a concern yeah I know I do wrap them up hard so why did you guys have to move well this voice kept popping up in our house yeah became untenable I I'm I have a concern and that is that if we talk in these quiet spiritual voices about Guy Fieri boners then it's a crime that it's a crime we'll go to jail for mmm so we need to really we need to really walk the line here

Guy Fieri represents I can understand I I can understand not being attracted I can't understand not being attracted to Guy Fieri he is sex but I think I think the what you may be experiencing here it's there's definitely some Pavlovian conditioning happening but I think the man also represents a sort of hedonism that can be very seductive no matter which what what your sexual preference may be I think he just sort of represents pleasure if our Lord of pleasure Bacchus had frosted tips he would be Guy Fieri and then just a nasty little smashed mouth womb room

how is this ASMR episode our most unpleasant one yet I think the problem is it's it's one thing for the background white noise of Mr. Fieri being a turn-on for you it's when it stopped when you stop being able to be turned on by anything but that's when it's gonna become an issue when you can no longer feel any sort of arousal unless there is a befrosted man in the background eating something that will surely prove his demise yeah I I ran out of episodes of diners drive-ins and dives I've seen them all I've used up my my boner supply I'm halfway through all of Guy's grocery grant games and then what bizarre

foods with and with the Zimmerman no what's next my cat from hell starring Jackson Galaxy is that where I have to go to get my fix that's good for a quickie but it's not gonna really it doesn't give you a long-lasting you know pleasure pleasure whoa what's that that's that song by alt J if you were worried about running out of guy Fieri related content let me just reassure you that's that's not gonna fucking happen all right you spin can you go through all your diners drivers and dives well that's no problem compadre you just gonna pull on over in the guys big bite and then if you follow the trail behind guys big bite

you're gonna find a spooky old house inside there is guys grocery games and then there's a there's a fucking elevator that'll take you down to minute to win it does and then if you look into a mirror down there in the basement for three hours it'll teleport you into Rachel for his guys celebrity cookoff so you've got like a lot of different options and then for Fieri and then in there if you stare into the yawning void dark hands will reach out and grab you and pull you into the world of Guy Fieri versus Paula Dean in a 12 hour long they live style street fight I do want to just go on record now and say that

no matter how desperate you become we do not endorse kidnapping Guy Fieri and forcing him to eat and review food while you make love to your partner we do not we do not condone that behavior one bit because you got if you do maybe some kind of new pitch it to like Food Network or maybe even travel channel if you do it in different locations because he is like catnip yeah TV networks and you could probably get that made the bad thing about having real Guy Fieri watch you have sex is he's just gonna be shouting sloppier yeah constantly and you don't need that no not at all also great news if you run out of Guy Fieri

TV shows head on over to Food Network calm and you're gonna find diners drive-ins and dives triple D deleted scenes so if you're curious what scenes weren't good enough to make it on the diners drive-ins and dives these are them you hit the mother love every fucking episode of diners all that fucking trash truck is back again trying to take me off my cloud every episode of diners drive-ins and dives mr. Fieri demands that they film him as he chugs a whole bottle of French his mustard he doesn't know that it's never aired it's never there to watch himself but you think but you can watch all of those

clips and again they've shot 700 episodes so about just a good like solid day of mr. Fieri just slobbing that stuff down that good spicy yellow stuff I want to take one another opportunity here to thank our sponsor Casper the address to go to fulfill all your sleep dreams and get one of these obsessively engineered award-winning mattresses is Casper.com slash my brother and then use the offer code ASMR brother on one word terms and conditions apply and that'll save you $50 off the mattress and the mattresses it should be noted are already going to be a great great value when you compare to the the ludicrous prices that mattress

stores are trying to charge you this is a wonderful mattress you get a hundred days to try it out we're talking like 950 for a king-size mattress that is fun that's super duper inexpensive yeah they're really comfortable I got one for our guest room for my in-laws to sleep on and the next morning they came up and they give me a hug and a kiss we actually got one that is now the bed in the nursery for people so that Theresa and I can take turns hanging out in there with the baby and it's also a daybed kind of couch scenario so that's where we like feed and hang out with the baby too so Casper is like a new addition to the

thing it's like us like a baby and Casper all the sometimes we just leave the baby in there with the Casper mattress so the Casper mattress can take care of her while we go out and you know just party on the town our friends Stuart Wellington of Flapp House fame is why Charlene stayed with us so oh yikes slept on the guest bed which is our Casper mattress they slept on it when they woke up the first thing they said was was that a Casper because they were they had such a luxurious night's sleep and you can have that the second thing they said was please God put that hatchet down no Griffin you would never

use the hatchet on our good friend Stuart and Charlene never so what do you guys want to do now I could do my stunt oh you are gonna do a stunt yeah I'm just gonna jump off that big frostbank tower and land on a single Casper mattress a lot of people a lot of people want to pitch in the stunt they're like don't you want to have a few of them just a sort of and I said no Casper makes a good mattress I just need the one now Justin I am not there so I'm gonna need you to narrate Griffin stunt as it occurs and give us a beat-by-beat but in a SMR voice no matter what happens okay I just want to thank you all for coming

I'm sorry I just need to perfectly position myself every centimeter is important and here I go again on my own so he's falling and he's still falling he's looking a little concerned I'm making a jerk-off motion with my hands tell them about it just what appears to be some sort of like a like he's trying to start a fire in front of them I'm not exactly sure like he's trying to like he's trying to rub some rot off a carrot I don't exactly know but I think right now he's noticing that the net below not a net it's a mattress stay in fucking fiction I was

couldn't you just gotta let I hear this mouth is moving but we can't hear what he's saying and it seems like the net that he put the mattress on for added support is not attached to anything and he's looking very concerned about that Justin could you tell us about could you tell us about the crowd how they're reacting to this whole thing you know what Travis here's the weird thing they're just taking turns looking at the mattress and they're kind of looking around like whoa free mattress and then okay oh no okay okay so there is a gang of Fagan style orphans that have surrounded the mattress and have picked

it up and are carrying it down a soot covered alleyway those little shits didn't know that I was accounting on them doing that and aimed my fall directly for their kid trajectory I'm gonna do I'm doing a flip he's doing a tell them about the flips I'm doing he's he's wildly gestating in the air as if he's attempting to do some sort of contortion or flip it's hard to say while he's doing a jerk off with both hands he's I can't parse any of his individual movements what's what's he like behind the eyes Justin could you tell us a little bit about his soul dead black eyes like a doll's eyes it's

terrifying he's still stunting oh you know I wouldn't I wouldn't call it stunting as much as snowboard out of my Jansport and now I'm okay he seems to have some sort of cardboard box lid that he has pulled out and is trying desperately to attach to his feet it's a very comical site if I wasn't so worried about oh he died you hate to see that he just squished here let me I'll take the body away wrap it I gotta wrap I gotta wrap the body out today into the morgue sure as a lot of body and Griffin's ghost has joined us again Griffin what do you think you went wrong I think my main problem is the jerk off motion I

made with my hands just kind of threw off my trajectory a little bit and that was hubris but I still want to thank Casper for sponsoring the episode I want to thank Red Bull for sponsoring that fucking stunt guys you did you got another hit on your hands no I'm I just want everybody to know that was a fun joke and I'm okay so we hope by this point you have drifted off to dreamland you're coasting on waves of sleep we want to thank one more time Casper for sponsoring this episode Casper comm slash my brother and then use the offer code on one word to save $50 towards these already incredibly price mattresses

I think you're in for a real treat with this you're gonna love it and you're gonna have a hundred days to try it so there's really no risk to you can't recommend it enough I know it's a good good bet and we appreciate Casper sponsoring this episode I hope it is enjoyable to you like a Guy Fieri pleasure sash we want to help you finish this journey into dreamland so the final minutes of this podcast will be me counting down from 100 to help you fall asleep I'm gonna go ahead and hang up on the Skype call because I have shit to do today that's fine 100 99 98 97 96 95 94 93 92 91 90 89 88 please do 88 again do 88 again

oh yeah I I you said it 86 85 84 83 82 81 80 all right all right griffin we're 20 numbers and how do you think it's going so far so he's flying he's flying through the air he's doing jerk off motions with his hands 74 73 72 71 70 69 nice nice 68 67 really got away from you 65 64 63 62 61 60 49 38 57 58 56 55 54 53 52 51 50 we're halfway there they said it 49 48 47 46 45 44 43 42 41 all of the all of the vowels 39 38 37 36 35 34 33 you're starting to sound less like a British person and more like a three year old 30 29 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 only 20 numbers left you better get ready to come 60 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

you