My Dad Wrote A Porno - Finale Footnotes: Send Offs, Surprises & Songs

Episode Date: December 1, 2022

Jamie, Alice and James hear your emails and voicemails before giving one Belinker the surprise of their life in a MDWAP first! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic, not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maples Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic.

Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer. The following podcast contains adult themes, sexual content, and strong language. Basically, all the good stuff. Hello and welcome to the last ever My Dad Wrote a Porno Footnotes. This is very emotional guys. It wasn planned, either. This is a special bonus. Yeah, this is a bonus episode because the reaction was so overwhelming. We're in the news in America. Yeah. We were really kind of blown

away by all of the support and, I'm going to say it, guys, love. The outpouring of love on social media when we announced that we were ending really kind of took us by surprise. And we thought we couldn't end the show without hearing from you guys. You've been such a huge part of the show.

You're the reason that we love doing it. So one last footnote to celebrate you guys. It just had to be done. James, it can't have passed you by that by setting up a hotline, you were sort of putting us in the same headspace as when Take That broke up, when Jerry left the Spice Girls,

when other major cultural phenomenons occurred yeah maybe it was overreaching a little bit but yeah we did set up a a voicemail service basically for people to leave their thoughts messages rants uh and my god the inbox is full guys should we listen to some should i just play you one yeah yeah play as one but do keep listening guys because at the end of this episode, there is a very, very special Belinka moment you are not going to want to miss. But yes, James, take it away.

All right. Here we go. Here's the first message. Hi, porno peeps. Just a quick one to say that I've had an absolute shitter of a year and you guys have been a small part in

helping me get through it and I'm lying awake at 4am with unhelpful thoughts running through my brain your podcast it's been the best distraction so thank you Alice James and Jamie and thank you Rocky love you you filthy slags bye you filthy slags it's our pleasure another one? sure I'm a little bit crushed I'm not going to lie to you I'm sad because it has really caught me through some fucking shit times in my life that I'm your biggest

fan and I've probably listened to it over and over again I'm going to say at least like 20-30 times like from start to finish because sometimes I don't want music and I definitely don't want silence so your podcast goes on so I'm on season six episode two at the moment which I just listened to while making my chicken Kiev salad and I will continue to listen to it on repeat until I fucking die so So thanks again for the laugh. I love the way she skims over chicken Kiev salad. It's very rocky actually, that meal. I hope she's defrosted it. That's all I can say.

This is a recurring theme, actually. People who are having a tough time, you know, have broken up with somebody, somebody's died, awful stuff happening. And I know the feeling of not being able to listen to music. You know, music is feeling too sad, too emotional. awful stuff happening and I know the feeling of not being able to listen to music you know music it's almost too emotional too emotional and so there must be some kind of palate cleansing that happens with my dad right at porno because there's no emotion in there

no it's so nice to hear like we've had so many messages from people which I'm sure we'll come on to of you know people saying we got them through difficult times and like that is the best outcome of this whole show surely yeah and it isn't just voicemails you know you've been emailing us you've been dming us yeah eric has been on she's a tallish woman from texas and she said to this point actually that her therapist got her onto my dad no way so not only are we a comfort we're a medicine medicine baby case. Peter in Denmark said that he used the podcast to scare away a bear. That was an interesting one. What do you mean?

He was like trekking, like going on like a hike or something. I think a big one for like weeks. And he came across a bear and nothing got rid of the bear apart from James's squawking probably. Thought it was some exotic bird out to kill him. Yeah, so he used the podcast to save himself from a bear attack. Wow. James, you are repugnant to humans and animals alike.

Well, I was thinking I'm a hero, but however you want to phrase that. Okay, can we have another one, James? Yeah, sure. Come on, let's do another one. Hi, My Dad Wrote His Corner team. It's Amy. I'm so sad that the show is ending because it's meant so much to me i actually when you announced it on instagram and stuff i actually welled up and i can't express how sorry

i am that the fact that you're ending and i just wanted to let you know that i'm even welling up now this is so stupid um that you guys and belinda and the books and rocky have meant so much to me in my struggles and you just made my daily life so much better so So, oh, my big, smutty love. Aw. Jeez, that got me. And you know I'm made of stone. Gosh. It is amazing how us reading terrible dad porn has touched people's lives in such an emotional way. I mean, it's incredible. Yeah, what I've been struck by in the emails

is the subject lines of some of the emails. Kyle's emailed us and it just says, devastated! That's an exclamation mark. That is one way to get our attention. It really is. Oh, another voicemail is incoming. Hi, James, Jamie and Alice.

This is Anthony in Dallas, Texas. I wanted to say thank you for the years of fun and laughter. You've been this presence in my life for the last five years, just bringing joy and humor and happiness and getting me through some dark times. So thank you so much for all you've done. You will be missed. And I'll remember this podcast and the joy that it brought for a long time. Thank you so much. They do sound a little bit like we've died. Yeah, we'll remember you. This is like going to your own funeral isn't it Hattie sent us a voicemail and she's been

talking about how she's been on a big recruitment drive uh for listeners hi James Jamie and Alice my name's Hattie and I've managed to get my whole family involved all my brothers and sisters listening bearing in mind I am one of six. It's even got to the point where my toddler runs around asking to listen to Belinda. My toddler runs around shouting Belinda Blink quotes. He heard about the pomegranate and we had to buy pomegranates for a solid three weeks. All he wanted was to see pomegranates. Now, I don't know if that's because he's a breastfed baby so

he's already obsessed with boobs but when he asked for milk he says pomegranate well in his baby language are you joking that's insane pomegranates are you actually points at her boobs and goes pomegranates pomegranates think of all the other stuff that the toddler's hearing yeah belinda quotes belinda quotes i love a toddler quoting yeah it's a very advanced toddler it is kind of astonishing what we are the soundtrack to and we've talked about this since the beginning the things that people do whilst they listen to the show and we've had a message from zainab who says you've been keeping me particularly cheery during a year and a half of frustrating and depressing fertility treatment.

I came to see you at Royal Festival Hall on the day that I was told another round had failed and it was precisely the weird, stupid evening I needed. I've just come from a scan confirming that I'm seven weeks pregnant and that there's a heartbeat. Amazing, wow. The app I'm using to track the progress currently remarkably looks like a mollusk that's fallen out of its shell.

See attached the screen grab, which she's attached and it does look like a mollusk that's fallen out of its shell. And she said, I thought you might like to know that we're therefore naming the embryo Ian Snail. Oh my God. That's amazing. That is so good. Can I just stress, the embryo ian snail oh my god that's amazing that is so good the embryo not the baby

yeah baby is not called ian snail well in a similar vein uh we've had an email from louise um who was two days overdue with her baby uh and the midwife came around in the afternoon tried to perform a sweep to encourage the baby to kind of get going and start coming out didn't work then she spent the afternoon in a hot bath and eating chocolate but it wasn't until she listened to season 2 episode 15 jim's secret of my dad wrote porno that her contractions were in full swing so she says mean, the subject line of the email is, Rocky helped deliver my baby. Wow. She claims porno got that baby out.

This is not the only story we've got where my dad wrote a porno was nearly the first sound that a baby heard. You're not kidding. Yeah. Mary Kate got in touch. This is insane, guys. So she was at one of our London Palladium shows

and her friend went into labor shortly after we gave her a shout out on the stage and she had to leave during the interval because the baby was being born what why did she leave what a finale and they've called the baby isabella is probably an homage. That's awful. One day that baby will be Bella. Poor child. Speaking of naming people, things, after characters from the books. Tenuous, go on.

Got an email here all the way from New Zealand. This is from Lydia. Hello, I thought you might like to know that Belinda Blumenthal-Dakia, an endangered alpine parrot, is flapping around the mountains of new zealand going to important business meetings and plotting to overthrow bishop's regime from her high mountain perch and she sent us a link you can track belinda blumenthal in real time what so yeah there's belinda blumenthal she's a adult female james is showing us the map of... Oh, wow, it's like the mountain range projection.

Yeah, wow, okay. And she's doing well? She's thriving? She seems to be. She seems to be near Mount Mitchell at the moment. So good for her. Beautiful part of the world. You two have probably been up there.

But yeah, love that. Love that there's a parrot flying around New Zealand called Belinda. And that Rocky's inspired a sort of conservation effort. This is fun. Should we do another one? Another voicemail. Yeah, let's do it. Hi, Porno team.

My name is Alice. Good name. And I'm 18 and I'm from Kent in England. And my God, when I tell you, this show has seen me through it. I first came to the show when I was like 14. Yeah. So it's been a long time coming. It got me through literally all of my a-levels i'm a gcc and now i'm at uni and i listen to it at least three times a day and it also just made me like so much more comfortable with my sexuality because belinda fucking baba so huge love to you rocky i don't think you

understand quite how much of a difference you've made to the world i just have a lot of love for you and the asses and donkeys trust bye that's how i want to sign off every call from now on uh the asses and donkeys trust sorry she started listening when she was 14 i know that's 14 okay i mean i guess it's kind of sex education according to emma thompson true. So in that way. Shavum. I didn't know we had listeners in Poland, but apparently we do because Anna's been in touch. Hi, this is Anna. I live in Poland and I'm just really excited to be leaving this message. I just wanted to say thank you.

I started to listen to this podcast when I was going through a really tough time. I had a bad breakup and I was just a big fucking mess. And I remember laughing my ass off in IKEA, in a shop, in a tram. I was completely in love with your podcast. And I'm so grateful for you, love with your podcast and I'm so grateful for you for your work and for Rocky as well so give him my best wishes thank you for being present in my toughest times thank you again I love Anna what a little cutie what a sweetie pie that is so lovely I adore giving Rocky best wishes for what he's thrust upon the world

he does not deserve best wishes he deserves a cease and desist do you want another one? fancy another one fancy another one fancy another one hi guys

my name's Ben and I just wanted to say thank you so much for the podcast my memory of my dad wrote a Porno is walking around the park in the town in which I live, trying to get my eight-month-old daughter to go to sleep in a pram in the pouring rain, soaked to the skin in utterly miserable conditions, but listening to the podcast and just laughing and having a brilliant time.

You got me through the eight-month sleep regression i'm so so grateful thanks so much guys oh that's very sweet so what he walks his eight month old round in the rain listening to us and the eight month old likes that hey whatever gets you through the days is what i say absolutely i mean we've said it before though do not operate heavy machinery or manage a child when listening to my dad write a porno. Not recommended. What is incredible

from going through all these emails is the breadth of ages. I kind of assumed it would be people our age, younger people, but we got an email from Lisa who said,

indeed, Rocky doesn't know much about sex, but don't blame that on his age. As a woman in her sexual prime, aka 60 years old i can promise you that most of us old farts have lots more experience than you and know exactly what to do with our various saggy baggy and otherwise decrepit parts and we have way more free time than you do too so we get to have more sex than you've ever dreamed of except maybe james well fair play lisa

you know i hope i'm having as much sex as you when I'm 60 it is interesting though isn't it thinking about the listeners because often we're just not thinking about how many people are listening where they are all over the world as you say who they are what age they are I really really love this message from Becky who says as an ASL interpreter I try to challenge myself by practicing interpreting interviews, TED Talks, music, etc. By far the most challenging thing

I've ever attempted to interpret has been every single chapter of Belinda Blink. It's been humbling and entertaining trying to think of fun and interesting ways to sign breast plunging like pomegranates showing the minuscule vole or how to show someone's reaction to blue semen

becky you're a hero thank you that's brilliant and it's really helped people kind of discover things about themselves like ricky got in touch and said i was always convinced growing up that i was asexual and listening toinda Blinked over the last few years has actually confirmed that for me. And Harrison in America said that it helped him come out as gay. So, you know, it's really helping people across the spectrum. Wow. In what way? Well, he said that the podcast showed him

that it wasn't a big deal to be into the same sex. And knowing friends of his listen and enjoy the show allowed him to realise that they could be cool with him coming out. And they were of his listen and enjoy the show allowed him to realise that they could be cool with him coming out. And they were. And he's never been happier. Wow.

That's great. Congratulations, Harrison. The bonkers side effects of your dad scrawling in that pavilion, honestly, like, fantastic. And, you know,

we have given dad a bit of a rough time over the years, not just for his porn, but also for his business knowledge. but ria got in touch and said that look rocky's approach to business is as unbalanced as his view to everything else but some things are very accurate she works in business guys she knows her stuff she said we're

gonna have to cut you off there ria but thank you so much for your message she said that one episode featured a discussion about payment terms influencing supermarket position of Steele's products, which we all seem baffled by. But actually, she thought was a very reasonable position to land on if those were the key issues for the parties involved. So actually, maybe dad did know his stuff after all. I mean, you know, hands up. I think Alice and I will both admit there's definitely been times when we've ribbed him too far. And perhaps, you know, we've been in the wrong. We'll say it we maybe we've been in the wrong speak for yourself no we have definitely had moments where I think oh my god Rocky Flintstone's lawyers are going

to come for us because he actually does know what he's talking about speaking of the business advice in the books we've actually had a voicemail from someone whose life has been altered improved by the the business advice in the books i just wanted to say i've been listening since my very first job in 2016 when i was a teenager and a retail thing and now i am a graduate with a university degree going about my life and that is because belinda installed such an elegant policy of fuck yeah, let's do it. Let's do it in the sexiest way possible.

Thanks, Bordo. There you go. Fuck yeah, let's do it. There you go. That is a business mantra. I need to know what graduate scheme he's on. And keeping on the business theme, Hugh and Wainey got in touch from Malaysia

who said that they met at a conference much like the Pan Pacific, the Potsdam Pan Pacific conference. But they bonded over listening to my dad write a porno at the conference. What? That brought them together? And what? Are they still together? They're still together. Oh, I love that.

I know. Isn't that mad? So sweet. I love how we're pinballing here. But you mentioned Malaysia. I got another Malaysia't that mad? So sweet. I love how we're pinballing here, but you mentioned Malaysia. I got another Malaysia connection. Go. Louise has been on.

She says, I moved to Malaysia for a few months for work and it was a hugely stressful time. My friend sent me a link to my dad wrote a porno saying you will love this. And I absolutely did. But the most my dad wrote a porno part of Louise's story is that when she was at uni, her dad did actually write a porno but not in the way

that Rocky did he accidentally I don't even know how to say this sexted Louise oh my god what sorry keep reading I'll keep reading she's on her way to meet her dad for lunch and apologies in advance for the language but she gets a text from her dad thinking that it's going to say like running a bit late or i'm here or do you want a coffee or whatever and it says it was amazing to come in your juicy cunt hun kiss oh my god is that the first use of the c-bomb on my dad wrote a photo oh my god we're gonna have to beep it um juicy she says juicy is the worst bit of it

and she didn't know how to deal with it and so unlike Jamie she just ignored it and went for lunch really

and they never spoke of it ever again they never spoke of it that was my other option to be fair I can't believe in amongst all the horrendous things

that Rocky's written I'm the first one to drop a c-bomb potty mouth you're a dirty little potty mouth always said it about you all i can say is it was verbatim i'm so sorry if you're offended picture this you're at a picnic with pals and bam you suddenly feel unwell but going to the clinic not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's virtual care has got your back with 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic.

Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer. Are you self-employed? Don't think you need business insurance? Think again. Business insurance from Zensurance is a no-brainer for every business owner because it provides peace of mind. A lot can go wrong. A fire, stolen equipment, or an unhappy customer suing you.

That's why you need insurance. Don't let the, I'm too small for this mindset, hold you back from protecting yourself. Zensurance provides customized business insurance policies starting at just $19 per month. Visit zinsurance.com today and buy your policy online in just a few minutes. Zinsurance, mind your business. Grace has been in touch. Hi, Grace. Hi, James, Jamie, Alice, and Rocky. My name is Grace. I live in Paris, Hi James, Jamie, Alice and Rocky. My name is Grace. I live in Paris and every day on my way to work I walk past the Moulin Rouge and every day I look at it and I think it's not as good as the Moulin Rouge. The podcast has changed my life infinitely because during the pandemic I of our day in order to just get through the crippling anxiety that brought to us through the pandemic.

So every day we had a listening party just us two. We couldn't see each other. We couldn't get home to each other. And the podcast brought us closer together and it just helped brighten our day. So thank you so much. It means the world to us oh my god that's amazing i love the idea that there are real world locations which have also

been desecrated by rocky's writing yes you can't walk past major landmarks without thinking of him i think when people come to london now they do walking tours of belinda blink locations like i've seen a couple of emails of people saying they've been to Cricklewood pumping station no no no yeah no way even we haven't gone there which is a massive like detour out of your way to go and see that yeah and probably incredibly unimpressive when you get to it you're like oh okay um yeah incredible well it's funny because you know people have kind of tried to make Belinda into like a cultural thing, you know, by doing that sort of thing.

And Nicole from Italy got in touch. She's living in Paris, but she came to see us in Stockholm. And she told all of her family that she was going to see the museum. She couldn't bear to tell them that she was going to a live sex show. So, you know, it goes both ways, the cultural thing.

Just quickly, staying in Europe, we've had an email from Asti. I only want to a live sex show. So, you know, it goes both ways, the cultural thing. Just quickly, staying in Europe, we've had an email from Asti. I only want to read the subject line. He said, Copenhagen is in Mörning and he's put one of those O's with a line through it in Mörning. I think he's trying to help you with your pronunciation, Jamie.

A lot of people pronouncing it like that, actually. He spelt it M-O-U-O-line-E-r-n-i-n-g as i believe it's spelled the traditional old english spelling james let's have another voicemail oh jamie it would be my pleasure this is kelly from all the way in california um and i thought i'd give this a shot just so you know how far the influence of rocky's wacky and wonderful world of belinda blink has reached it's crazy to think that I started listening in my second year of university, and now I'm in my first year of getting my doctorate. And I just wanted to say that especially during COVID, this really felt

like the most bizarre family on earth. And I really, really am thankful for it. So I'd really like to raise a glass of Chardonnay to you, Belinda, the Glee team, and Rocky and basically all the good stuff. Oh my god, it's so much nicer in Kelly's voice. Why don't we just employ her to do it? Can I just say I'd like to raise a glass to global lockdowns for giving us a nice little listener bump. Everyone's like, you got me through COVID. It's like, well, good. I have to say, like, the pandemic seems to be a running theme that it's kind of helped people.

And Paige got in touch to say that she listened to the entire of My Dad Wrote a Porno in the lab as she was researching COVID during the pandemic. Wow. Yeah. And you know she's legit because she didn't call it COVID. She called it SARS-CoV-2. Oh, she's the real deal. She knows her shit. She knows what she's legit Because she didn't call it COVID She called it SARS-CoV-2 Oh she's the real deal

She knows her shit She knows what she's talking about I'm like yeah she knows James what other treats do you have there? We've had a message all the way from Perth, Australia Oh fantastic We've played there We have

Here you go These accents are terrible Thank you. Hey, Jamie, James and Alice. It's Riley from Perth, WA, and I just wanted to say thank you so much. My dad wrote a poem who has absolutely changed my life, and I listen to you every day still when I'm doing my washing, when I'm doing my cooking, my wife and I listen to you in the morning

when we're getting ready for work. Just thank you. You brought so much joy into my washing, when I'm doing my cooking, my wife and I listen to you in the morning when we're getting ready for work. Just thank you. You brought so much joy into my life, so much love. And I cannot say how much I appreciate you. Rocky is heaven on a hot stand. He's a fucking money hit. So thank you all. Talk about you all the time.

Thank you. Love you. Bye. Talk about us all the time. Like we're family. How are James, Alice and Jamie? Yeah, they're good. They're good.

Who have you got next for us, James? We've got a listener from, drumroll please, Austria. Ooh. Hi, guys. Here's Sophia. I'm from Austria.

And my mum's name is Petra and I absolutely lost my shit when Petra you know the character appeared in Jamie's amazing voice so we often quote it at home whenever my mum says something weird because my mum does say weird things a lot so sometimes if she goes like hello then it will always come out it must be rough when someone you know has the same name as someone in the books it must be hard to separate the two i mean especially petra i'm really sorry about your mum sophia i mean i can only apologize that voice jame i, I think that and Bella will go down as your two most iconic voices. Now, we've had a very special email from listener Matt. Oh, okay.

Without giving too much away, I like to keep it mysterious. He's asked us to call his boyfriend, Jamie, to ask Jamie a question. Oh. Okay. Let's call him. Let's do it. Hello? Hi, Matt.

It's Jamie, James and Alice here. How are you? Very nervous, thank you. What on earth is going on, Matt? Why have you gathered us all here? I just wanted to propose to my boyfriend. What? Yeah, I know the podcast is coming to an end,

so I thought maybe i can do something unique that nobody else is going to be able to do oh amazing so it was either this or the top of the eiffel tower or sky writing and you were like no this is gonna be um how are you feeling that well i'm just wondering if it's too early to have a rum and coke it's never too early matt it's never too early do you think that jamie will be expecting this question to be popped? Not at all. He's always saying to me when he's had a drink, oh, where's my ring and stuff?

My mum has said when he's drunk that he always says that. I never ask him, so I don't think he's expecting it whatsoever. Oh, my God. This is amazing. And do you have the ring on you? Are you all ready to kind of present the ring? No, we've not really discussed if we'd even wear a ring. Oh, OK. Yeah, I think something we'll we'll discuss afterwards matt where are you right now it's very

quiet yeah i'm sat in my car oh right you're hiding out yeah so you're gonna have to go back make sure you're in the same place as jamie and then we're gonna call jamie and make this happen oh my god i'm really hoping that when i ask him he says jamie blinked rather than yes matt so do we believe me so do we we'd love that um look good luck the next time we speak to you you may well be an engaged man brilliant oh my god all right talk to you soon bye i i can't believe like after eight years we finally get a My Dad Wrote a Porno proposal I'm so excited I always thought

it would happen at a live show yeah guys have we planned for what we do if he says no I don't want to be that person

we could send him a signed book we'd probably have to send them two because they might break up oh that's true that's true no I believe

in Matt and Jamie's love I think it's I think it's going to happen right should we call jamie oh my god okay hello hi is that jamie yes megan hi it's another jamie here and i'm joined by alice and james from my dad wrote a porno how Oh, my gosh, I can't believe it. Good morning. This is a little call that Matt has arranged just to say hi, see what you're up to. We hear that you have enjoyed Belinda's exploits in the past. I have, yeah.

I'm a little bit shocked, to be honest. At first I thought this was automated. I was like, how can this work? Who's thinking about the technology? I can't believe i'm talking to you it's crazy now jamie we want to talk to matt actually so can you put us all on speakerphone so we can uh we can all speak okay you're on speaker we're on speaker matt can you hear us matt i can now jamie um there's another reason we're calling matt actually um wanted to ask you something. What?

Matt, take it away. Okay, I just wanted to say I love you so much. You make me really happy. And I know you're always going out of your way with these big gestures for my birthday and Christmas and stuff. I thought maybe it's my turn to return the favour. Obviously, Belinda, we can't go without mentioning her. I know how happy she is when she's got a glass

of shards in one hand and a turkey sandwich in the other so I was hoping you could make me as happy as her by agreeing to marry me you're not joking me

what the heck well yeah of course brilliant brilliant Yeah, of course. No! No! Brilliant. Am I dreaming? I was really hoping you were going to say Jamie blinks.

Jamie did blink. Congratulations. Thank you. From this automated message, Jamie, congratulations. Technology is amazing. How do you feel, Jamie. Congratulations. Technology is amazing. How do you feel, Jamie? I feel like I'm dreaming, honestly. Wow.

Are you awake now? Now, yeah, my heart's pounding. Oh. I mean, it's a lot for a 10 o'clock Saturday morning call, granted. Well, it is just to hear from you three and then that. Wow, God. Oh, my God, you guys are engaged. You're our first proposal ever. Where's my ring? I told you three and then that. Wow, God. Oh, my God, you guys are engaged. You're our first proposal ever.

Where's my ring? I told you he'd say that. Great question, Jamie. Great question. Look at shopping now. Yeah, about that. Oh, my God. I'm so happy for you guys.

Thank you. Jamie, I take it you're incredibly surprised. Like, you weren't expecting this at all. No, I never thought he would be the one to ask. I thought he would be the one to ask I thought it would be me well we should let you have a proper moment shouldn't we yeah guys congratulations

thank you so much for doing this I really appreciate it oh my god it's our pleasure let us know how the planning goes and when the wedding is oh definitely yeah keep us updated

feel free to use some of Rocky's words in the vows of course I'll really try and incorporate it or don't either way whatever works for you lots of love guys

have a wonderful day thank you so much thank you thank you bye wow oh my goodness that was so lovely

I was actually really tense that he was going to say no there was a bit of a pause wasn't there yeah there was a moment I was like

this is going to go the wrong way I think he was just completely completely bowled over I mean you wouldn't expect it to be fair us three calling you up you would think this is gonna be the start of the rest of my life wow i'm not sure how we top that emotional high but you know what i don't think we can i think all there is to say is thank you to every single one of you who's got in touch today and over the past couple of weeks.

It really, really does mean the world to us. I know we couldn't read out every email and every voicemail, but we have read and listened to every single one of them. And you really have made us as happy as three larks on a farm. So thank you so much. And actually, guys,

Ed Mooney has written us a song to celebrate the end of My Dad Wrote a Porno. We love a song. We do. So we're going to play that in a second. But just to say, do come back next week for part two of the finale. Will Belinda say yes to Peter Rouse's offer of marriage?

Who knows? I doubt it will go as well as Jamie and Matt. How could it? He thought he was dreaming. That's actually how I thought the books might end. So that feels very appropriate. But yes, do come back next Porno Monday and to play us out it's Ed Mooney

so after seven years after many laughs and tears when all is said and done Belinda will be gone though I'm so distraught myself, we'll raise a bottle to her health. Wherever she is now, I hope we'll make her proud. Thanks for all the pots and pans, for all the places I had planned for us to go, I know. It's the end of the show. Thanks to Jamie, James and Alice For bringing Rocky with no malice Though I don't want to go, I know It's the end of the show Life is shit, but we all move on Without Belinda it'll be so wrong

Don't wanna be left like a background goon So I'm praying to the Norse gods you'll be back soon When you get what you want, you feel great And after six books it's like you're our mate So if this is the end, then come back soon my friend Thanks for all the pots and pans For all the places I had planned For us to go, I know it's the end of the show. Thanks to Jamie, James and Alice for bringing Rocky with no malice.

Though I don't want to go, I know It's the end of the show Oh Belinda, oh Belinda Oh Belinda, oh Belinda G for gin, T for tonic, R6 titties are supersonic We don't like men, we don't like fuss, we're the blue team, come and get us What is the game? It's a song we sing What is the game? No one knows the game What is the game? My keys were in there What is the game? It was my cr there. What is the game? It was my grandma's. My orgasm is still building and building and building and building and building and building and building.

Okay Georgie, poor G, we only have forty minutes to get out or thereabouts. Oh Melinda, oh Belinda Oh Belinda, oh Belinda Oh Belinda, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer. Are you self-employed? Don't think you need business insurance?

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