My Dad Wrote A Porno - Footnotes: Rocky's Biography

Episode Date: December 3, 2015

'Footnotes' is all the extra bits we didn't have time for in the podcast. This week, we discover that Rocky has written himself a biography... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hi guys, welcome to My Dad Wrote a Porno, The Footnotes. This is the extra stuff that we just don't have time for for the actual podcast. So here we'll be discussing a few little extra things, things that have come to our attention, musings on my dad, his process, the whole world of Belinda Blinked because we know that one podcast a week just isn't quite enough you could even say this is for you diehard fans it's been brought to our attention listeners by somebody on twitter that my dad has actually written a kind of a bio of rocky finston have you guys seen this no i just limit myself to a chapter a week it's almost all i can cope with between episodes i literally go

cold turkey on rocky i don't i don't look at anything and james i don't blame you for that it's the only way to get through it james also goes cold turkey on porn for that that part of the week yeah i don't awkward laugh clearly he doesn't i don't like this to impact my everyday life so i try and keep it you know work and pleasure separate sure and i very much see this as work what a backstory you know like a dust cover of like an actual book has something about the author? Yeah. He's written one of those like a little blurb for himself. Entirely made up? Entirely, well I actually haven't read it yet so. Okay.

Shall we delve in and see if it is all made up? I can actually be the fact checker on this. Okay, oh yeah because you'll know. Yeah, this should be interesting. I mean, I hope I'll know. There were many things about my dad that I thought I knew and I don't so maybe I won't know anything. There's almost nothing I don't know about Rocky now. Rocky likes to write in the sun and with a glass of wine in his hand.

He's clearly drunk when he's reading it, honey. Clearly. What's the only explanation? Nothing makes him feel more at home. Based between Brazil and Marbella, Spain... Just showing off that he knows where Marbella is. He gets to grips with his stories. At least someone's getting to grips with his stories

because we're certainly not. He gets to grips with his stories. At least someone's getting to grips with his stories because we're certainly not. He gets to grips with his stories, bringing them to print for his loyal readers. I hate to break it to Rocky, they're not in print. He's self-published this book. On the internet. Also, loyal

readers, that'd be one, two, three and who else? Wilma? No, she's not here. Wilma does she's not read it Belinda blinked one it's his first novel of the series and currently Rocky is working on his second Belinda blinked two oh a sequel has that been finished since he wrote that have you said that you think he's finished book two I'm not sure if he's finished it but I mean what is finished when it comes to exactly I'm sure this book will end with him just trailing off mid-sentence, but it's an end of sorts.

Dot, dot, dot. Or like semicolon a la Rocky. Blender Blink 2, with an expected publication date of January 2016. Needs to be. He must be finished, or at least very nearly finished. I don't know, because I think Rocky can complete it and publish in the same day. That's true, there's no proofreading that goes on. It's first draft and out. Out the door.

That whole process takes between 8 and 12 hours. Rocky also has well-advanced scripts for Belinda 3. Scripts? What, like film scripts? I smell a movie. I think he's just using the word scripts as like... To upsell it. Make it sound more glam, yeah. Oh, sure. We'll do that.

Expected publication date, May 2016. So... The trilogy will be complete. Five months after Belinda Blink 2. So we'll get another pamphlet, but five months later. Oh, my God. I think he prefers novella. Someone should tell the Man Booker Prize

that these books are on their way. Oh, seriously? Let alone the Bad Sex Award. We've been overlooked. Oh, hang on. And then there's a little bit, Stop Press, in capitals. It does not say that.

It does, it says Stop Press. The Guardian's like, wait a sec, Rocky said stop. Hold the front page. Stop Press. Belinda it does not say that. It does, it says stop press. The Guardian's like, wait a sec, Rocky said stop. Hold the front page. Stop press. Belinda Blinked One, semicolon, has been picked up by some London media types and is being distributed as a podcast starting October 2015. Are you serious?

Is that on there? Oh, we've got the media types? Does he mean his son and some friends? Why not buy the book and read along with the broadcast? Exactly, Rocky. I like that he's on board, though. He understands the power of the podcast. And also, guys, there's a photograph of Rocky as well.

There's a photograph of Rocky? This is a security breach. I mean, Rocky, in inverted commas, listeners, please get out your phone, get on Amazon, look up Rocky Flintstone author, because I'm going to show the guys right now. Ready? Yes.

Oh! I mean, A. Whose is that hand? I don't see a family resemblance, no offense. Just to quickly describe the picture, it's a man half Rocky's age, at least. At least. Quarter of Rocky's age. Who's quite clearly gay. Yeah, I think that's a man half Rocky's age, at least. At least. Quarter of Rocky's age. Who's quite clearly gay. Yeah, I think that's a fair assumption.

Completely shades on his head. Shades on his head, a bow tie on, no shirt. Obviously. And a woman's hand is kind of caressing his chin. I mean, it could just be a great angle, to be fair. Good lighting. It is the sun that he likes so much to write in. He knows his best angle and how to work it, Alice.

That space between Brazil and Marbella is treating him well, wherever that may be. That would be the Atlantic, I believe. Where did he get that photo from? I mean, brilliant. Just gold. So just to check, we think that maybe Rocky has gone on to an image library,

gone through and found the image that he thinks is most like him. This is how he wants to be represented to the world, exactly. Worrying. It's like a butler in the buff kind of image. If you're trying to picture it, it's like a Chippendale. Like a naked butler, exactly. At a hen party. Jeez.

We've seen him in real life and he does not look like that. If Rocky's going to have a go, I'm going straight on to Google and find a much more flattering image of me. I tell you what, they're going to be at 19. Are you self-employed? Don't think you need business insurance? Think again. Business insurance from Zensurance is a no-brainer for every business owner because it provides peace of mind. A lot can go wrong. A fire, stolen equipment, or an unhappy customer suing you. That's why you need insurance. Don't let the, I'm too small for this mindset, hold you back from protecting yourself. Zensurance provides customized business insurance policies starting at just $19 per month.

Visit zensurance.com today and buy your policy online in just a few minutes. Zinsurance. Mind your business.